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1
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:10,911
OH, DON, WHY DO
YOU HAVE TO GO?
2
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:12,880
WHY, SALLY?
3
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:15,783
BECAUSE 10 YEARS AGO,
I TOOK AN OATH--
4
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,452
AN OATH TO PROTECT
AND SERVE THIS CITY,
5
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:22,956
AND NOTHING--
NOT EVEN THE PROSPECT
OF LYING IN BED, NAKED,
6
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:25,093
WITH THE SEXIEST,
MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN--
7
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,228
WHAT THE HELL
AM I DOING?!
8
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,204
OH...OH, SALLY...
I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU
9
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,507
THAT THIS IS
THE BEST RELATIONSHIP
I'VE EVER BEEN IN.
10
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:47,181
OH, WOW, DON...
THAT IS SO...
11
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:50,951
SO...
12
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:52,653
WOW.
13
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,422
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
14
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:57,925
NOTHING. I GUESS I
JUST NEVER THOUGHT
15
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:02,062
ABOUT YOU HAVING
ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP
BEFORE.
16
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,632
NO ONE CAN HOLD
A CANDLE TO YOU, SALLY.
17
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,636
THAT'S REAL SWEET,
DON.
18
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:52,846
TO PENDELTON'S NEW DEAN
OF ARTS AND SCIENCES.
19
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,248
OHH...
20
00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,683
THAT'S YOU, MARY.
21
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,786
I KNOW.
22
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,921
NOW, IF YOU WOULDN'T
MIND TALKING BUSINESS
JUST FOR A MOMENT--
23
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,990
OH, DICK, CAN'T IT
WAIT UNTIL MONDAY?
24
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,925
OH, I UNDERSTAND.
25
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,431
ON MONDAY, I'M
GONNA BE ASKING YOU
26
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:11,599
WHAT THE SCHOOL
INTENDS TO DO ABOUT
27
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,268
THE DECAYING STATUE
OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON.
28
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,536
THE ONE WITH
THE MISSING ARM?
29
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,271
IT'S AN EYESORE.
WHAT'S GOING TO BE DONE?
30
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:20,541
I WANT AN ANSWER,
AND I WANT IT NOW!
31
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,844
THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE
SAYING ON MONDAY.
32
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,014
DICK, THE UNIVERSITY IS
IN A FINANCIAL CRUNCH.
33
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:30,017
THE BIOLOGY LAB IS
DISSECTING ROAD KILL.
34
00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:32,386
THE STATUE IS
NOT A PRIORITY.
35
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:35,923
YES, WELL, I'LL BE
INTERESTED IN HEARING
WHAT YOU THINK ON MONDAY.
36
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,124
THANK YOU,
MY GOOD MAN.
37
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,125
OH, NO. HERE,
LET ME GET--
38
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:42,095
OH, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO
NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO
39
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,498
THIS IS MY TREAT.
40
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:45,633
DICK, I'M A DEAN.
41
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,735
THAT PROMOTION CAME
WITH A NICE RAISE.
42
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,938
WELL, YOU'RE NOT MAKING
ANY MORE THAN ME.
43
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,606
A LITTLE MORE.
44
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,376
HOW MUCH MORE?
45
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,110
A LOT MORE.
46
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:58,346
REALLY?
47
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,814
WELL, I DON'T CARE.
IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE
TO ME.
48
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,182
I'M THE MAN
AT THIS TABLE,
49
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,917
AND I INSIST ON
PAYING FOR DINNER.
50
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:04,852
FINE.
51
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,120
OH!
52
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,922
WOWSIE.
53
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:12,293
MARY, COULD I
BORROW $200?
54
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,328
DICK, THIS
IS ONLY $80.
55
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,330
I KNOW. I ALSO WANT
TO BUY A CUISINART.
56
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:24,538
DUBCEK'S GRANDSON
IS SELLING LEMONADE
DOWN THE STREET
57
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,074
FOR 25 CENTS A SHOT.
58
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,443
25 CENTS?
FOR A LOUSY CUP
OF LEMONADE?
59
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,412
DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND
OF MARKUP THAT MUST BE?
60
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,715
THIS KID'S GOTTA BE
MAKING A FORTUNE.
61
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,150
WELL, HE WAS WEARING
A DIGITAL WATCH.
62
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,386
SEE?
63
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,622
WELL, I JUST FOUND OUT
SOMETHING ABOUT DON
I NEVER KNEW.
64
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,625
THAT HIS BACK IS
LITERALLY COVERED
IN PIMPLES.
65
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:50,130
WORSE. HE HAD ANOTHER
RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ME.
66
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:50,531
NO.
NO.
67
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,166
YES!
68
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:57,271
OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS...
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
69
00:03:57,305 --> 00:04:00,441
YOU THINK SHE'S PRETTY?
70
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,543
TALL...BLOND...
71
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,044
WOW. SHE SOUNDS HOT.
72
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,914
SHUT UP.
73
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,882
I GOTTA FIGURE OUT
WHERE SHE WORKS,
WHAT SHE DOES.
74
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,250
I GOTTA KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT HER.
75
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,251
WHY?
76
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:14,187
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT HER.
77
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,656
WELL, SALLY, I'M OFF.
78
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,325
UH, DON, UM...
79
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:20,227
THI-THIS TABLE'S
A LITTLE WOBBLY.
80
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:26,467
UM, COULD I USE
YOUR ADDRESS BOOK
TO PROP IT UP?
81
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,536
CAN'T YOU JUST
USE A MATCHBOOK?
82
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,438
I DON'T WANNA USE
A MATCHBOOK.
83
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:39,413
I WANNA USE
YOUR WIDDLE
ADDWESS BOOK.
84
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:42,015
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SO TO BEGIN WITH?
85
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,147
I'M SUPPOSED
TO GIVE YOU THIS.
86
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,949
"DR. AND MRS.
ALBRIGHT"?
87
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:16,917
NO, THIS ISN'T
FOR ME.
88
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:20,354
THIS IS FOR MARY
AND HER WIFE.
89
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,856
I THINK YOU'RE
MRS. ALBRIGHT.
90
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:27,160
ME? AH, HA
HA HA HA HA!
91
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,496
OH, THAT'S RICH!
92
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,564
WAIT'LL MARY
HEARS ABOUT THIS.
93
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:33,233
HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA!
94
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,906
RIGHT OVER YOUR HEADS.
95
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,274
MARY! MARY!
96
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,310
MARY--HA HA HA!
97
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,114
LOOK AT THIS INVITATION.
IT'S HILARIOUS!
98
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,015
IT'S A TYPO.
99
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,284
YES! HA HA HA!
100
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,054
DICK, I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS.
101
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,490
NOW, YOU'RE GOING
TO BE ON MY ARM
AT THIS EVENT,
102
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,992
SO I WANT YOU
TO LOOK YOUR BEST.
103
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,329
SO, HERE, TAKE
MY CREDIT CARD
104
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,365
AND GO OUT
AND BUY YOURSELF
A NICE OUTFIT.
105
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,234
HOW MUCH CAN I SPEND?
106
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,469
WHATEVER.
107
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,804
WHAT IF I FIND A BELT
THAT GOES WITH MY SOCKS?
108
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:11,972
FINE.
109
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,741
CAN I BUY A CUISINART?
110
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,643
YOU ALREADY BOUGHT
A CUISINART.
111
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,678
ER...SOMEBODY
PUT PENCILS IN IT.
112
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:28,922
HI. I'M CALLING ON BEHALF OF
J.D. POWER AND ASSOCIATES.
113
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:32,460
HOW MANY LICENSED DRIVERS DO
YOU HAVE IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?
114
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:38,331
MM-HMM. AND HOW MANY HAVE
DATED POLICE OFFICERS?
115
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:42,202
YOUR OLD ROOMMATE DID.
OK, CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM?
116
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:46,907
"USED TO SNEAK HOME
DURING THE SHIFT." UH-HUH...
117
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:52,212
"STRIPPED TO HIS
UNDERWEAR." RIGHT...
118
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,616
AND WATCH HIS SOAP OPERA?
119
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,218
THE BOLD AND
THE BEAUTIFUL?
120
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,120
I AM IN BUSINESS!
121
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,027
HI. CAN I HELP YOU?
122
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:08,128
ARE YOU TINA?
123
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,498
NO.
GO AWAY.
124
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,165
HI. I'M TINA.
125
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,033
WERE YOU LOOKING
FOR A CROCKPOT?
126
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,735
YEAH.
HOLD UP, YOU'RE TINA?
127
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,069
HAVE YOU LOOKED
AT THIS ONE?
128
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:19,607
THANK YOU, GOD.
WHAT?
129
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,043
I AM SO MUCH HOTTER
THAN YOU!
130
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,145
THANK YOU!
131
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,550
HEY, HELLO, THERE.
132
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,318
WELL, IF IT ISN'T
CHANCELLOR STEVENS.
133
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:34,588
DEAN ALBRIGHT,
HELLO.
134
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,989
CHANCELLOR, IT'S
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
135
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,257
TELL ME, MARY,
136
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,092
I HEARD YOU HAD A MOST
PROMISING MEETING
137
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,327
WITH PROFESSOR GOLLIN.
138
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,096
I THINK IT WENT WELL.
KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.
139
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:43,664
[CLEARS THROAT]
140
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,365
HE'S AN INTERESTING MAN.
141
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,935
YOU'VE READ HIS PAPER
ON ETHNOBOTANY?
142
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,869
[CLEARS THROAT]
143
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,638
I'VE JUST STARTED IT,
BUT IT'S FASCINATING.
144
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,506
[CLEARS THROAT]
145
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:56,610
[HAWKING LOUDLY]
146
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,281
HELLO.
147
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,817
I'M SORRY. THIS IS
MY BOYFRIEND DICK.
148
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:04,618
NICE TO MEET YOU.
149
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,953
ACTUALLY,
I'M A PHYSICS--
150
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,189
YOU MADE A GREAT END-AROUND
ON THE SUBCOMMITTEE.
151
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,558
OH, THAT.
152
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:11,992
IT TURNS OUT IT WAS
PROFESSOR BRIGGS
153
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,226
THAT WAS CREATING
THE LOGJAM.
154
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,628
YOU KNOW, I FIND--
HOW'D YOU DO IT?
155
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,063
I JUST DANGLED
THAT ARTS GRANT
IN FRONT OF HIM.
156
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,699
THE ARTS GRANT IS
A MIGHTY BIG CARROT.
THE INTERESTING--
157
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,967
IT SURE IS.
158
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,001
CARROTS--
AND THEN?
159
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,203
I--
OH, IT'S JUST
WAIT AND SEE.
160
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,605
CARROTS--
YES, I SUPPOSE.
161
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,073
HOW, UH...IF--
162
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:26,574
DRINK?
163
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,641
CARROTS--
SURE.
164
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,509
I--
165
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,178
BYE.
166
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,981
HELLO. I'M DEAN
GUTHRIDGE'S WIFE.
167
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,716
AND I'M DEAN
SMITH'S WIFE.
168
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,185
HI. I'M DEAN ALBRIGHT'S
WIFE.
169
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,026
HARRY, IS IT
REALLY NECESSARY
170
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,597
THAT I WEAR
A BLINDFOLD?
171
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:54,267
TOMMY, IT'S A BLIND
TASTE TEST. OK?
172
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:56,003
NOW, IF WE'RE GONNA BE
IN THE LEMONADE GAME,
173
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,471
WE'VE GOTTA HAVE
A COMPETITIVE PRODUCT.
174
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,041
NOW, WHICH ONE
TASTES BETTER?
175
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,746
WELL, THIS ONE'S
A LITTLE BLAND.
176
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:06,847
A LITTLE BLAND.
177
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,684
OK. THIS ONE'S
ROOT BEER.
178
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:13,353
YOU GUYS!
179
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,788
I SAW HER!
I SAW HER!
180
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:15,656
YOU SAW TINA?
181
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,591
YES, AND I'M SO MUCH
HOTTER THAN SHE IS,
182
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,960
IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY.
183
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:20,894
GOOD. GOOD FOR YOU.
184
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,229
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
THE BEST PART IS?
185
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,264
WHAT?
186
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,566
WELL, THAT IS
THE BEST PART.
187
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,268
YOU KNOW, I WONDER WHAT
DON EVER SAW IN HER
188
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,036
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
189
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:32,405
AH, WELL, YOU GOT--
190
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,242
WELL, I MEAN, IT--
191
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,144
OBVIOUSLY--
192
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,649
YEAH, WHAT COULD IT BE?
193
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,950
WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?
194
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,085
I MEAN, YOU'RE
NOT IN COMPETITION
WITH THIS PERSON.
195
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:48,288
OF COURSE I'M IN COMPETITION
WITH HER, TOMMY.
196
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,857
SHE'S HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND.
197
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,624
YEAH. EX.
198
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,725
WHY AM I EVEN
TALKING TO YOU?
199
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:52,726
YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN.
200
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,562
OOCH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT.
201
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,898
I MEAN, WHAT DOES
THIS TINA HAVE
THAT I DON'T?
202
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,901
HER BACK IS LITERALLY
COVERED IN PIMPLES.
203
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,039
I GOTTA FIGURE OUT
WHAT I'M UP AGAINST HERE.
204
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,708
I'M GONNA GO BUY
THAT CROCKPOT.
205
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,209
WE HAVE A CROCKPOT.
206
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,117
WE JUST LOST
ONE CROCKPOT
207
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,153
AND GAINED
ONE CRACKPOT.
208
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,855
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.
209
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:28,729
HI, DICK.
210
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,497
DEAN ALBRIGHT.
211
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:34,134
OH...TONIGHT WAS FUN,
WASN'T IT?
212
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,836
BOY, IF THIS IS
WHAT IT'S LIKE
BEING DEAN,
213
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:39,339
I SAY BRING IT ON!
214
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:42,075
I'M SLEEPY.
215
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,343
WHAT'S WRONG?
216
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:47,114
WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW,
I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.
217
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,916
IT WAS THE PARTY,
WASN'T IT?
218
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,618
I'M CLOSING MY EYES NOW.
219
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,721
OH. OK.
220
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,391
COME ON,
PROFESSOR SOLOMON.
221
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,993
TEACH ME A LESSON.
222
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,199
NO.
223
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,837
OK. IF YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO GIVE IT TO ME,
224
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:13,340
I'M GONNA COME
OVER THERE AND GET IT.
225
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,975
FINE!
226
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,710
JUST MAKE IT QUICK.
227
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,849
DICK, I'M SORRY.
228
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,384
I KNOW
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE
SELF-INVOLVED LATELY,
229
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,219
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT
I'VE BEEN BUSY.
230
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,554
BUSY DOING WHAT?
231
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,656
WELL...
232
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,324
THINKING ABOUT
THAT IDEA OF YOURS
233
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,861
ABOUT RESTORING
THE STATUE.
234
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,929
I THOUGHT WE DIDN'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.
235
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,465
WELL, YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO RAISE THE MONEY.
236
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,033
A FUND-RAISER!
237
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,935
THAT WILL BE
YOUR PROJECT.
238
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,436
MARY, YOU MEAN IT?
239
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,805
YES, DICK.
240
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,207
OH, THANKS, MARY.
241
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,475
THANK YOU.
242
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,144
OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW,
ALL RESTORED,
243
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,413
THE MAJESTIC IMAGE
OF ADMIRAL PENDELTON
244
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,348
RIDING HIS WIFE
INTO BATTLE.
245
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,089
THAT'S HIS HORSE.
246
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,390
AH.
247
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,725
THAT DOES MAKE
MORE SENSE.
248
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:11,965
SO I'M RACKING
MY BRAIN--
249
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,802
WHAT'S A FRESH, FUN NEW
WAY TO RAISE $10,000?
250
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:15,668
SOMETHING CRAZY,
251
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,570
BUT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
ALL AT ONCE.
252
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,572
AND I'M WALKING BY
FASHIONS BY PEPE,
253
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,075
AND IT HITS ME LIKE
A CAPE TO THE THROAT--
254
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,576
FASHION SHOW.
255
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,850
FASHION SHOW.
256
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,118
HOT WINTER NIGHTS.
257
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,419
THAT'S THE THEME.
258
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,554
FOR THE...FASHION SHOW.
259
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,222
YEAH.
260
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,024
NOW HELP ME OUT.
261
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,726
TICKET PRICES--
I WAS THINKING $50
262
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,094
FOR SEATS
BY THE RUNWAY.
263
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:44,097
YOU KNOW, FOR THE
MICKEY ROURKE TYPES.
264
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,199
I WISH I WAS GOING TO BE
IN TOWN THAT WEEKEND.
265
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,935
WHEN IS IT?
266
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,870
OH, GOOD.
DEAN ALBRIGHT,
267
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:51,471
DICK WAS JUST
TELLING US THIS IDEA--
268
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,440
OH, HE TOLD YOU ABOUT
THE FASHION SHOW.
269
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,509
HE TOLD US
ALL ABOUT IT.
270
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,278
ISN'T IT GREAT?
271
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,246
FABULOUS!
COUNT ME IN!
272
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,280
JUST GREAT!
273
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,254
TINA, HI.
REMEMBER ME?
274
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,456
YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO SAID I WASN'T
HALF AS HOT AS YOU ARE.
275
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,623
YEAH, RIGHT. THAT'S ME.
276
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:11,959
ANYWAY, I'M BACK
FOR THAT CROCKPOT.
277
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,526
OH, SURE. YEAH,
THEY'RE RIGHT OVER HERE.
278
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,566
OH. THOSE ARE
NICE SHOES.
279
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,201
OH, THANKS.
I JUST GOT THEM.
280
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,369
THEY'RE FRANK ROSS.
281
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,571
FRANK ROSS.
YOU MUST BE LOADED.
282
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:25,738
LOADED? NO, NO.
283
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,875
WELL, THEN WHERE'D
YOU GET THE CASH
TO PAY FOR THEM?
284
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,109
CREDIT CARD.
285
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,111
YOU HAVE A CREDIT CARD.
OH, MY GOD.
286
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:35,215
ANYWAY, THESE CROCKPOTS
ARE SO EASY TO USE.
287
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,816
THEY'RE ALL I COOKED WITH
WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE.
288
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,218
SHE WENT TO COLLEGE.
289
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,987
YOU SET THE TIMER,
GO OUT,
290
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,221
AND THE FOOD'S READY
WHEN YOU COME BACK.
291
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,623
COME BACK FROM WHERE?
I--I DON'T KNOW.
292
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,558
TENNIS? IS THAT
WHERE YOU GO?
293
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,228
TO PLAY TENNIS--
WITH THE BALLS
AND THE RACKETS,
294
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,730
LIKE SOME EXPERT
TENNIS PLAYER?
295
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:51,865
MISS, IS EVERYTHING OK?
296
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,233
OH, YEAH,
EVERYTHING'S GREAT,
297
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,302
EXCEPT YOU'RE RUINING
MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH DON.
298
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,270
DON?
YEAH, LADY!
299
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,239
DON ORVILLE.
300
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,740
WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT
FOR OVER A YEAR,
301
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,375
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
YOUR NAME COMES UP.
302
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,311
AND WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO TO US?
303
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,914
LOOK, I WAS ONLY WITH DON
FOR 6 MONTHS.
304
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,215
AND 2 WEEKS AFTER
WE BROKE UP,
305
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:09,782
HE WAS ALREADY GOING OUT
WITH CHERYL FASSLER
306
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:10,783
AND LAURA BROCKMAN
AFTER THAT--
307
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,119
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
308
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,320
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
309
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,056
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
310
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:19,059
WAIT, WAIT...
311
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,327
WAIT.
312
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,597
THERE WERE OTHERS?
313
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:42,049
WELL, I THINK
WE SHOULD EXPAND.
314
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,450
EXPAND.
315
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,517
ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR MIND?
316
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,086
WE HAVEN'T
SOLD A CUP.
317
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,021
WELL, WAIT TILL WE GET
TO THE BIG CITIES.
318
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:51,658
THAT'S WHERE
THE THIRSTY PEOPLE ARE.
319
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,460
YOU ARE A MEATHEAD.
320
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,197
LEMONADE.
321
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,366
OOH! LEMONADE?
322
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,833
YOU KNOW,
323
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,269
WHEN LITTLE KIDS
SELL LEMONADE,
324
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,570
IT'S CUTE.
325
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,506
BUT WHEN GROWN MEN
SELL LEMONADE,
326
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:07,907
IT'S CREEPY.
327
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:11,378
WHAT?
328
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,346
QUIT SELLING LEMONADE.
329
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,682
YOU'RE CREEPING OUT
THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
330
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,454
WELL, SHE'S THE MEATHEAD.
331
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,255
NO, HARRY.
332
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:22,990
NO. SHE'S RIGHT.
333
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,158
I MEAN, COME ON,
LOOK AT US.
334
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,028
WE ARE DISGUSTING.
335
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,963
I'M THROUGH.
336
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,531
YECCH.
337
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:32,399
WELL--
338
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,601
OH, WELL,
THAT'S JUST FINE.
339
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,304
YOU JUST GO HOME, TOMMY.
340
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:38,838
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.
341
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,307
I'LL JUST STAY HERE
ALL DAY,
342
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,774
HOLD DOWN THE FORT.
343
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,645
AHH.
344
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:46,980
ROOT BEER.
345
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:53,320
THANK YOU, KITTY.
346
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:53,886
NEXT UP,
347
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:57,090
WE HAVE CHARLENE...
348
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,960
IN A SASSY CARDIGAN
349
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,031
AND FLIRTY PLAID
KNEE-LENGTH SKIRT.
350
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,332
TOWN OR COUNTRY,
351
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,634
SHE'S READY TO PLAY.
352
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,869
SHE SHOOTS, SHE SCORES.
353
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,004
NUMBER 8
ON YOUR PROGRAM.
354
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,105
THIS ONE'S
GONNA GO FAST.
355
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,241
THANK YOU, CHARLENE.
356
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,579
HERE COMES GINNY.
357
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:23,483
SAY, GINNY, WHAT'S
UNDERNEATH THE PARKA?
358
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:24,417
HEY.
359
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,753
IT'S A SMART FRENCH
TERRY PULLOVER
360
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,621
AND SOME SNUGLY LEGGINGS.
361
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,792
HER HUSBAND
MAY BE A TRUSTEE,
362
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,462
BUT YOU CAN'T
TRUST HER.
363
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,330
YOU'RE DANGEROUS, GINNY.
364
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,565
YOU'RE DANGEROUS--
365
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,168
IN FASHIONS BY PEPE.
366
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,207
[LAUGHTER]
367
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,941
THAT IS SICK!
368
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,344
OK. ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
369
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:52,479
WAIT, WAIT.
SO, LAURA,
370
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,082
YOU WERE WITH DON
FROM '92 TO '93.
371
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,116
AND THEN, CHERYL,
372
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,118
YOU WERE WITH HIM
THE SUMMER OF '95.
373
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:01,588
BUT, UH, THERE'S STILL
THIS GAP HERE IN '94.
374
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,257
OH! THAT'S WHEN HE
HAD THE PONYTAIL.
375
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,929
I REMEMBER
ONE NIGHT,
ME AND DINGO--
376
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,664
OH, THAT'S WHAT
I USED TO CALL HIM.
377
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,899
DINGO.
378
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,967
HE DOES LOOK LIKE
A DINGO!
379
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,603
OH, MY GOD!
380
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,274
LADIES.
381
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,910
SALLY, HAVE YOU FOUND
A CLIP OF 9mm AMMO?
382
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,112
I WAS LOOKING AT--
383
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,780
GAH! JEEZ! DOH!
384
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,616
[SPUTTERING]
385
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,887
HI, DON. WE WERE JUST
TALKING ABOUT YOU.
386
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:37,824
HEY, RECOGNIZE ANYBODY?
387
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,025
YES.
388
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,660
YE-YES.
389
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:44,464
I--I RECOGNIZE
EVERYBODY.
390
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,365
HELLO, LADIES.
391
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,667
HEY, DON.
HI, DON.
HI, DON.
392
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,036
SALLY, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SEC?
393
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,804
OH, SURE, SWEETIE.
394
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,473
HE SQUINTS WHEN
HE'S NERVOUS.
395
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,107
AM I RIGHT?
396
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,508
Don: SALLY!
397
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,809
OH. COMING.
398
00:17:59,946 --> 00:18:00,947
WHAT'S UP?
399
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:03,250
WHY ARE ALL MY OLD
GIRLFRIENDS HERE?
400
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,585
SWEETIE, LOOK...
401
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:06,986
I LOST IT
WHEN I FOUND OUT
402
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,888
YOU HAD RELATIONSHIPS
BEFORE ME.
403
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,390
BUT NOW THAT
I'VE MET THEM ALL,
404
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,992
I'M COOL WITH IT.
405
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,060
THAT'S GREAT, SALLY.
406
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,095
I KNOW HOW YOU GOT
TOGETHER WITH THEM,
407
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:17,264
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
WITH THEM,
408
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,532
AND I KNOW
WHY YOU BROKE UP.
THAT'S NICE.
409
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,301
I KNOW
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN,
I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE HAD,
410
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,603
AND I KNOW HOW
YOU GOT RID OF IT.
411
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,172
OK!
412
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:30,477
OK. I'M--I'M GLAD
YOU FEEL BETTER.
413
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,680
I DO, DON.
414
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,114
I REALLY DO.
415
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,850
OH, SALLY.
416
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:41,421
OH, DINGO.
417
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,389
RUFF!
418
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:43,756
GRR!
419
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,400
HERE'S THE MAN
OF THE HOUR!
420
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,100
OH!
421
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,002
THANK YOU, MARY.
THANK YOU. OH!
422
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,505
AND THANK GOD IT'S OVER!
423
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:01,474
NINA, HOW DID WE DO?
424
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:04,677
LET'S SEE. SUBTRACTING
FOR THE CATERER, THE DJ,
425
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,681
AND BETTY WALKING OFF
WITH THE WEDDING GOWN...
426
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:12,619
WE MADE $104.
427
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,655
YOU MEAN
104 MILL DOLLARS.
428
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:19,359
NO. 104 DOLLARS DOLLARS.
429
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,260
IT'S A GREAT START, DICK.
430
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:21,528
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.
431
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,595
OF WHAT?!
432
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,597
$104?!
433
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:27,534
THAT WON'T BUY
ADMIRAL PENDELTON AN ARM!
434
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:31,103
THAT WON'T EVEN PAY TO
PRESSURE-WASH THE BIRD CRAP
OFF HIS WIFE!
435
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,475
STILL...WHAT A NIGHT.
436
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,477
THE GALA EVENT
OF THE SEASON.
437
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:42,181
THIS?! 12 PROFESSOR'S
WIVES TRUDGING DOWN
A MAKESHIFT RUNWAY
438
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:45,718
IN POLY BLENDS
AND SUPPORT HOSE?!
439
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,120
THE RUMAKI
WAS DELICIOUS.
440
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,727
WHAT'S GOING ON?
441
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,963
WHY AM I BEING TREATED
LIKE THIS?
442
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,898
WHENEVER I'VE DONE SOMETHING
STUPID OR FOOLISH,
443
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:02,001
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE
TO RIDICULE ME FOR IT.
444
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,503
WHAT'S CHANGED?!
445
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,072
I--I THINK EVERYONE
HAD A LOVELY TIME.
446
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,240
I KNOW I DID.
447
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:11,511
YOU!
448
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,346
WHAT?!
449
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,382
YOU'RE THE REASON
THEY'RE ALL BEING
SO NICE!
450
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,585
THEY'RE KISSING UP TO ME
BECAUSE I'M THE DEAN'S
BOYFRIEND, AREN'T YOU?!
451
00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,319
OH, PSHAW!
452
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,920
WELL,
I'M MORE THAN THAT!
453
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,789
I HAVE MY OWN IDENTITY!
454
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,492
I'M DICK SOLOMON,
DAMN IT!
455
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,361
AND I DEMAND
TO BE CONDEMNED
FOR MY FAILURES!
456
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,963
AND THIS, THIS WASN'T
JUST A FAILURE.
457
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,666
THIS WAS
A TOWERING FIASCO!
458
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,535
SO IF ANY OF YOU
RESPECTS ME AS A PERSON,
459
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,236
YOU WILL STAND UP,
COME FORWARD,
460
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,807
AND RIDICULE ME
FOR THE IDIOT THAT I AM!
461
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,476
DO IT, DAMN IT!
CALL ME AN IDIOT!
462
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,216
I THINK YOU BETTER
CALL HIM AN IDIOT.
463
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,351
YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
464
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,520
A COLOSSAL IDIOT!
465
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,288
THANK YOU, JUDITH.
466
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,724
VINCENT, THANK YOU.
467
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,659
AND YOU, MARY...
468
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,895
YOU...MOST OF ALL.
469
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:06,966
IF YOU DON'T,
I WILL.
470
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,801
OK, DICK.
471
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,903
YOU'RE A BIG,
FAT, BUMBLING,
472
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:15,508
OBLIVIOUS, PEPE-WEARING,
MEGA-IDIOT!
473
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:18,378
OH, THANK YOU, MARY!
474
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,246
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
475
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:29,956
DR. SOLOMON.
476
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,857
YES, LUCY.
477
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,727
I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU,
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
478
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:37,096
THANK YOU, LUCY,
BUT THAT'S REALLY
NOT NECESSARY.
479
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:41,634
NO. I REALLY
WANTED YOU TO KNOW.
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
480
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:44,571
LOOK, I'VE REALLY
GOTTEN OVER THAT WHOLE
FASHION SHOW DEBACLE.
481
00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:47,540
BUT...THANK YOU.
482
00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:50,042
WHAT FASHION SHOW?
483
00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,644
IDIOT.
32180
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