All language subtitles for Three.for.the.Show.1955

Where should we go, honey?
Bermuda or California?

Well...uh...

As usual, I'll have to make up
your mind for you.

Oh thanks, Vernon, honey.

Bermuda, tomorrow morning.

- Tomorrow morning?
- Too soon?

Not soon enough.

Your cue, Mr. Lowndes.

My cue, Mrs. Lowndes.

Good evening Mr. Hudson.
Hello, Ed.

Mike, hello.
And goodbye.

We're leaving town
in the morning.

Julie can go with my blessing.

Show's been running three
years. She's deserves a rest.

- Thanks.
- But you don't.

Where's the new show you've
been promising me?

You haven't written one line
since poor Marty got killed.

Please, don't tell me
what a great writing team

Marty and I were,
and how much I miss him.

I miss him more than you do.
He was money in the bank.

Yeah, and Julie keeps telling
me what a great husband
Marty was, too.

Pretty tough to follow,
wasn't he?

Closing night.
They won't go home
until you've given a speech.

You do it, Vernon.

Oh no, I'm gonna get the car.

Don't make it a long speech,
honey. We're off salary time.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

I only wish it were three
years ago and our show was
opening instead of closing.

I know your applause is meant
not only for me, but for

Mike Hudson, our producer,
and for Vernon Lowndes,

not only a fine dancer
but a fine writer, too.

My only regret is

that his collaborator, that
talented young man who also
staged this show

isn't here to share this moment.

He lies in a hero's grave,

far across the sea.

Marty Stewart, who gave so
much of himself to the
theater.

No one appreciated his genius
more than I.

I was not only his leading lady.

In those day I was his wife.

So while those of us
who are still alive are

hearing your applause,
and taking our bows,

we know in our hearts
it is really his night,
not ours.

Marty!

Oh!

House lights!
House lights!

Please everyone, will you
leave the dressing room.
Come on now, please.

I'm sorry, honey,
well, you know how it is.

A guy gets back from overseas,
he just doesn't stop to think.
Will you forgive me?

Oh, everything is gonna be
just beautiful as soon as
I get you home.

Home!

Mike, I think we better leave
her alone for a while.

I'll help her get dressed.
Come on, give her a chance
to pull herself together.

Okay, all right.

- I'll be waiting for you.
- Come on, son.

How do you feel?

Numb.

It's quite a shock discovering
your husband is still alive.

Who's gonna tell your
other husband?

The one who's out in the car?
With the tickets to Bermuda in
his hot little fist?

- I wonder...
- Don't look at me.

Once upon a time,
I fell in love with him.

You married him.

Oh, then you tell Marty.

Oh I couldn't. I don't know if
you know this but...

I was a little starry-eyed
about him, too.

All right, I guess it's
my place.

For once I've got to make up
my mind and do something.

I'll tell Vernon,
I'll tell him right now.

I'll...

I'll...

Gwen, won't you tell him.

There's an old saying,
"You made your own bed..."

Vernon.

That was kind of a long speech.

I have something to tell you.

Don't. The way I feel, we may
not bother to talk for days.

But it's about my speech.

I know it by heart.

"My only regret is that the
talented young man who also
staged the show

"is not here to share
this moment."

- But he is.
- What?

- He just kissed me.
- Who kissed you?

- Marty.
- Marty who?

Marty Stewart.

Darling, look. Marty's dead.

He's been dead for two years.

You'd never know it by the way
he kissed me.

Now look, honey, I know how
sentimental you get
about things.

Remember how that little dog
got run over, and you kept
dreaming he'd come back.

Well, he didn't come back.
And Marty didn't come back.

Now, come on, let's get in our
little car and go on to our
little beddie-bye.

I don't know.

Marty wants to come back to
our little beddie-bye, too.

It's not true.

- Julie!
- It's true. He's right in
there with Mike.

He was marooned on an island
some place all this time.

He wasn't killed.
He wasn't even wounded.

Well, what did he say
when you told him?

- Told him what?
- That you're married
to me, now.

I didn't tell him.

Well, somebody has to tell him.

Yes, but break it gently.

Gently? Me?

Just say, "Marty, old man.
A funny thing happened to me
while you were dead."

You want me to tell a guy
who's just come back from

two years on a desert island
that I married his wife?

Wait, you haven't met the new
stage manager yet.

I don't wanna meet anybody
else. There's only one person
I'm interested in meeting.

She sent me to say hello
to everybody in the cast.

Now it's your turn, again.
Hello, Julie.

You haven't say hello to Vernon.

It's great to be back around
all the old familiar places.

Uh...Marty...

I know, now it's your turn.
Gee, it's good to see you
again, Vernon.

You don't know how much
I thought about you
while I was away.

You two boys can get the old
partnership going,
just like it used to be.

- Come on, we'll get a cab.
- This is my car.

Congratulations.
We'll get a cab.

No, no, I'll drive you home.

Okay, if it's not out of
your way.

Believe me, it isn't.

I'll go along, too.
I live in the neighborhood.

So do I.

- Pretty crowded neighborhood.
- You have no idea.

Well, everybody into the car.
Come on Julie,
I got a lot to talk you about.

You drive. I'm getting in the
back with Marty.

- What for?
- We're collaborators,
aren't we?

Well, here we are...

Isn't it wonderful? The five
of us back together again?

Just like the old days, when
we were starving happily in
Greenwich Village.

Yes, but no matter how
tough things got,
we were always friends.

Ready to sing at the drop
of a hat, weren't we, Marty?

- Hmm.
- Maybe somebody ought to
drop a hat.

Boom.

Marty, you haven't told us
about your war experiences.

Reconnaissance flight.
Hurricane. Out of gas.
Desert island.

Coconuts and native girls.
And back to the old stand.

You must have hated to leave
those coconuts.

Why were you reported dead?

Another Martin Stewart.
Air Force snafu.

Julie, isn't there something
you have to tell Marty?

- Oh, Marty.
- Uh.

There's something you have to
understand.

The War Department
sent me a telegram
saying you'd been killed.

I would have cracked up if it
hadn't been for Vernon.

Well, old Twinkle Toes been
a comfort to you
while I was away?

I've seen a good deal of him.

He's been like
one of the family.

Isn't that right, Julie?

Oh, yes, he was
very kind to me during my...

Vernon, I knew you would be a
tower of strength.

- Oh, I did what I could.
- Thanks, pal.

You see months and
months went by and
everyone gave you up for...

Aw, not you, uh-uh.

Marty you've got to
understand...

Julie, you had faith.

I knew you would. A lot of
other girls would have
run off and got married again.

- Marty.
- Huh?

We're home.

Ah the same old apartment house.

You know, I had a crazy idea
not to come
to the theater at all.

I was just gonna wait and
break in on you in the
middle of the night.

Wouldn't you have
been surprised?

It would have been about even.

Come on, doll.

Good night, sweetie.
We'll see you soon.
Mike, good night.

Vernon, thanks for the lift.
Thanks for everything you did
for Julie.

The pleasure was all mine.

No, don't get out.
You don't have to see us
to the door.

Now look, Marty, you and I
have to have a little talk.

Well, fine, we'll have lunch.

Not tomorrow.
The first part of the week.
I'll see you then.

Hey, open up.

Julie, I have a wonderful idea.

Why don't we all go up
and have a drink together and

celebrate Marty's return?

Fine, I'll park the car
and be right back.

Very funny.

That's a wonderful idea.

You're kidding.

I'll make some scrambled eggs.

I remember Marty used to just
love scrambled eggs at night.

- Yes, I'll mix the drinks.
- I'm not thirsty.

Come on, Marty, you can't
brush off old friends.
We'll have a wonderful time.

We may stay up all night.
Laughing and talking.

Great, just great.

Ah, just as I used to dream
about it.

Same old piano.

Oh, Vernon, we wrote some
great shows here.

Yup, the windows overlooking
the park.

Oh I forgot, we were gonna
have a drink. Now...

Well, let's see. Where...

- Just raise up on
that knob, there.
- Oh!

Oh, huh...you changed things.

Chateau Dijon 1937.
You never used to drink wine.

She's got a lot of new tastes.

I bought it for her.
That was a fine vintage year.

Oh, well, where did you hide
the whiskey, dear?

I gave most of it
to the janitor.

There may be a bottle somewhere.

The highball glasses are
in the other cupboard.

The ice?

Right there.
That's a little ice box.

Oh, very clever.
This is new, too.

I bought it for Julie.

You seem to be familiar with
everything in this apartment.

- Everything.
- He's been a tower
of strength.

Oh, you mix them.
Come on, Julie.

Marty, I...

I think Julie has
something to tell you.

There's been a marriage
you ought to know about.

Marty, what was it,
water or soda?
- Water for me and Julie.

Not for me,
I wanna keep my head.

What are you gonna do
with your head?

- Marty.
- Huh?

I don't know how to
tell you but...

Well, you see...

Vernon's married.

Well, what do you know?

The life-long bachelor.
Congratulations, Vernon.
Gwen...

The best, kid.
You finally hooked him, huh?

You two were cozy for
quite a while. I'm glad he
made an honest woman of you.

- I did not marry Gwen.
- I'm free for any offer.

You know, you're lucky you
didn't get him.

Well, anyway, whoever you
married, I give it three weeks
at the most.

I don't give it another night.

We'll drink a toast to the
unlucky bride

and then I'm sure you'll all
have to be running along.

To Mrs. Vernon Lowndes,
whoever she may be.

May all her troubles
be little ones.

I'll drink to that.

Well, so long.
Sorry you have to be leaving.

What's the matter with this
fella. Hasn't he got a home?

- Oh yes, he has.
- Well, tell him to go there.

I haven't been out of this
uniform for three days.
I'm going upstairs.

Hey, Marty, wait!

- Good night all.
- Marty, don't!

What am I doing?
Breaking a law or something?

- Not yet.
- Ah come on, honey. Don't
break up the party so early.

It's just like a class reunion.

The four of us back
together again.

Like the old days in
Greenwich Village.

Oh no!

Somebody stop him.

You got any idea how?

Look, will everybody please
go home except my wife.

- Everything all right?
- Come on in. You're just in
time for the finale.

Oh no!

What's this?

- Nobody told him yet?
- Kindly fasten your seat belt.

- Now, Marty...
- On your bed.

Pajama tops. Men's.
Who belongs to them?

Where are the bottoms?

I never wear them.

Marty, why did you do that?

Why? What a question.

It's all right,
it's perfectly legal.

Legal? What's happened to
America while I've been away?

- If you'll let me explain...
- Go on, it should be
interesting.

- Well, you see...
- Look, Marty, it's that...

I knew all along
I'd have to tell you.

Marty!

You were reported dead.

Julie and Vernon got married.

Happens every day. No need to
let it break up the team.

Now, aren't you sorry you lost
your temper?

Well, you see. Nothing's
wrong. We're married.

Congratulations.

Oh.

Have you...

Not yet.

How long is it going to take?

I don't know.

A girl who hasn't made up her
has no right coming in here
looking so beautiful.

How did the natives go
for that line?

Please.

You see what this all means.

If I decide on one of you,

I've got to hurt the other.

And I love you both
too much for that.

Now, wait a minute.
That's silly.

Is it silly to...

...be in love with the man
that I've been married to
for over a year?

Someone who's been sweet and
kind and understanding.

And when you came up
on that stage...

I thought my heart would stop.

It was like the first night
you took me home,

and you held out a bag of
peanuts to me and said,

"I wish these were diamonds."

Yeah, I stole the line
but I meant it.

Probably stole the peanuts, too.

- Julie, what are we gonna do?
- We can't go on like this.

Please, you've got to
give me time.

A girl just doesn't flip a
coin about a thing as
important as this.

I have to decide which man I
want to spend the rest
of my life with.

And I've got to be sure
I'm right.

Good night, darling.

- Oh Julie.
- Good night, darling.

Good night.

Got a deck of cards?

No.

If you don't mind, I think
I'll take a cold shower.

Julie. Julie.

Ouch!

What are you doing here?

If I ever heard of a situation
that calls for a chaperon,
this is it.

- Where's my wife?
- Downstairs, the maid's room.

Oh, by the way.

Maid's room is locked.

I might as well have stayed
with those coconuts.

Ouch!

Boy, you must have been dirty.

I like long showers.
Any objections?

No.

- Did you have fun, little boy?
- Not a bit.

I think I'll take a shower.

Go ahead.
You won't have any fun either.

- Good night.
- Good night.

* Which one?

* I think it's time that
I knew which one?

* I wish that character would

* Make up her mind

* She can't have them both

* That can't be done

* By all that's right

* I'm entitled to one, but

* Which one?

* Which is the one

* For

* Me

You have nothing to worry
about, Mrs. Lowndes.

You're in the hands of the
United States Air Force.

We recognize our
responsibility for
this situation.

It's wonderful of you to help
me, Colonel Wharton.

It seemed like an impossible
problem.

Well, you know our motto,

"The difficult we do
immediately,

"The impossible takes
a little longer."

Of course the civil courts are
rather slow moving,

but when your case come up,
the Air Force will be
at your side.

And then what?
Who am I married to?

Well, the law is quite
specific on that point.

The first spouse is the legal
spouse. The second marriage
null and void.

What if I don't want the
second marriage null and void.

Oh? Oh!

Well, there is plenty of
precedent for that, too.

Since the second marriage
was entered into
without intent to deceive,

the second marriage is legal,
therefore the first marriage
may be annulled.

But the first marriage was
legal, too, wasn't it?

Oh yes, of course.

Then I'm legally married to
Marty, and I'm legally married
to Vernon.

Well, that's an amusing way
of putting it.

Of course, you'll have
to decide on one or the other.

- Why?
- Why?

I should hope because you're
in love with one of them.

Which one is it?

I love both of them.

Yes, but one a little more
than the other.

No.

Not even just a little bit?

Not even a little bit.

Even Steven.

Pardon me.

You know something.

You've just given me
a wonderful idea.

Why, I've got
what every woman wants.

A husband and a lover.

And they're both legal.

No, no, no. That's bigamy,
and it's illegal.

Illegal?

Who sent me this telegram?

Well, the...War Department.

What does it say?

"Regret to inform you, your
husband, Lieutenant

"Martin Stewart,
killed in action."

Did I have every right
to marry again after that?

Well, yes, of course, but...

Then if anybody is guilty of
bigamy, it's the army.

You made the mistake.

Madam. In 150 years,

the United States Army has
made a lot of mistakes.

But letting you in this
office was the biggest
mistake of all.

I don't feel that way at all.

Why, you've taken a load
off my mind.

There's nothing wrong in
what I'm doing.

Nothing wrong?

According to your
line of reasoning, a woman
could have three, four, six...

...a dozen husbands.

A dozen husbands.

There'd be no limit.

A dozen husbands.

Let me read you
something, if I may...

A dozen husbands.

A dozen husbands.

* Down boy

* You're acting like a
Newfoundland pup

* And mama don't
Like you jumping up
I swear

* You've gotta stay
Down, down, down

* You've gotta stay down

* Down boy

* You're acting like
You ain't ever fed

* So if you wanna Be mama's

* Ted...dy...bear

* You've gotta stay
Down, down, down

* You've gotta stay down

* Girls like

* A sudden show of affection

* But they don't like

* So much that they need
A bulldog's protection

* Down boy

* I'll pet you but
I must draw the line

* You evidently
Ain't read my sign

* "Beware!"

* You've gotta stay
Down, down, down

* You've gotta stay down

* Down boy

* Stop acting like a brand new
Newfoundland pup

* All beat up

* Button up
Trying to make up
Mama's getting fed up

* You've gotta stay
Down, down, down

* You've gotta stay down

* Down boy

* Stop acting like a
Half-grown quadruped

* Under fed Sick in the head

* You heard what What mama said

* You've gotta stay
Down, down, down

* You've gotta stay down

* Girls like

* A sudden show of affection

* But they don't like

* So much that they need
A bulldog's protection

* Down, down, dee down boy

* I'll pet you but you have to
Draw the line somewhere

* Guess you haven't read my sign

* "Beware, boy!"

* You've gotta stay
Down, down, down

* I'll say it just once more

* Same thing I said before

* Down boy!

* -You've gotta stay
- Down, down

* Couldn't you just die?

If your argument was
to be taken seriously,

it would result in the
ridiculous conclusion

that a woman can have as many
husbands as she wants.

Oh, I'm glad you agree with me.

It would be just wonderful.

And if anybody has any
objections, I can send them
right to the US Air Force.

Oh, thank you,
Colonel Wharton. You've been a
wonderful help.

And the impossible you have
done immediately.

Now think hard.

You saw their faces in your
newspaper today.

Now, what news story
does this represent?

Ah? Would you
repeat the question please?

Another one.

We're famous.

You saw their faces
in your newspaper today.

Now, what news story
does this represent?

Uh...that's that actress.

And her husband came home
and he was in the army.

Only she had two of them.

Correct.

Leave it on. It's better than
looking at you.

Now, soldier, this is
right up your alley.

What do you think of
the situation this represents?

All right, so this guy
goes into the Air Force, see.

And he leaves
the wife alone, see.
Correct.

Well, this other guy,
he's been givin' her
the eye all along, see.

So along comes a telegram
from the War Department

tellin' her this first guy's
been knocked off,
leavin' the field clear.

Well, telegrams come cheap.

What point are you
trying to make, soldier?

Anybody can swipe a
telegraph blank,

sign it "War Department" and
slip a kid a couple of bucks
to deliver it.

Ha!

Then by the time this
poor Joe gets back,
if he ever does get back,

the other guy and his wife
are so cozy, he don't
stand a chance, see.

Good, now, if you were Marty,

how would you
solve this problem?

Easy. I'd grab the crumb
who stole my wife and
bust him right in the nose.

Thank you
Miss Williams and
Sergeant Kowalski.

And I'm sure you've been a
great help

in bringing peace and
happiness to a troubled home.

Now...

Marty, Vernon.

- What happened?
- Where you been all day?

That's her own business.

Where have you been?

Well, I talked to the Air Force

and I was little excited so I
walked around and shopped

a little because that's when
I do my best thinking.

What did the Air Force say?

I think we'd all better
sit down.

You can see how foolish it was
for you two to be fighting

because the Air Force says
I can keep you both.

Our Air Force?

You're joking.
See, she's just joking.

- She isn't.
- Of course I'm not.

The Colonel didn't exactly
say that.

But he admitted that I was
legally married
to each of you.

And while I'm making up my
mind, that's how
I'm going to stay.

You can see that's the only
sensible thing to do instead
of rushing into things.

If you're not careful,
you think for a minute
that she's talking sense.

I am talking sense.

I will not be rushed into
anything so important.

Now, we're going out to dinner
just as we did
when we were married.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Let me understand this thing.

Exactly who is going to dinner?

You and I, Marty and I.

- Two happy couples.
- Uh-huh!

And then we'll go dancing
and have few drinks.

And then we'll all come home.

We'll all come home?

Just like we did
when we were married?

That's right.

I'm going upstairs and change.

What do we do now?

Just what she says.

You'll have to let Marty have
one of your dinner jackets.

Oh, naturally.

Share and share alike.

And hurry.

Oh, by the way old man.
When I socked you a while ago.

- Yes?
- I meant it.

So did I.

I phoned, they didn't answer.
I checked with the desk.
The manager said the

three of them left together,
hours ago.

The happy triangle
out on the town.

Trying every angle.

I have to run along in a minute.

Mind eating alone?

No, the kid's getting used to
it. I've been well trained.

Did I ever tell you about the
time I fell in love with Sam
the Coconut Man?

Marty?

But you know little Gwen.
A lot of laughs.

Nobody takes me seriously.

I sent Julie a lovely
wedding gift.

And switched to Twinkle Toes.

Yes, I made up my mind fast.

Big mistake.

Should have followed Julie's
example and never made up my
mind about anything.

I drank his awful wine.
I sewed buttons
on his awful vests.

And I was beginning to like it.

Along comes
Little Miss Indecision
and I'm shut out again.

I sent her the same
wedding gift.

You wouldn't wanna maybe do
the town with a guy who

has no intention of getting
married until he's around 70?
Might help you forget things.

I'm having much too good a
time feeling sorry for myself.

Don't worry. Julie'll make up
her mind, and there'll be
one left over for you.

We'll get a new show going
and everything will be great.

Thank you, Mother Goose.

Night, baby.

* There's a someone
I'm longing to see

* I hope that he

* Turns out to be

* Someone to watch

* Over me

* I'm a little lamb

* Who's lost in the wood

* I know I could

* Always be good

* To one

* Who'll watch

* Over me

* Although he may not Be the man

* Some girls think of

* As handsome

* To my heart

* He carries

* The key

* Won't you tell him please

* To put on some speed

* Follow my lead

* Oh, how I need

* Someone

* To watch

* Over me

Ole!

Ole!

It was wonderful.
Wonderful!

We'll go out every night
together and dance and dance.

My earrings hurt.

Please.

Thank you.
Thank you both.

Would you unzip me?

Good night.

You still here?

We were under the impression
we were invited.

Would you care for the
bathtub first, old boy?

- Oh, no after you.
- Oh, thank you.

Go to your room, both of you.

Our room? Oh, you mean the
dungeon with the twin beds.

Didn't the Air Force say
we were all married?

Well...

You know, I'm a little dizzy.

But not as dizzy as you think.
Now, get out of here.

Exactly what we intended
to do all along.

Just as soon as you discovered
how ridiculous
your whole idea was.

Why!

Vernon, Marty!

We are going to the Waldorf.
And when you finally make up
your mind, you can phone us.

No, phone one of us.

- Mrs. Lowndes?
- Yes.

Colonel Wharton sent his car.

Colonel Wharton?
What for?

- Weren't you informed?
- No.

Big meeting this morning,
in the colonel's office.

I hadn't heard, but if it's
for the colonel, I'll be down
on the double.

I'll wait downstairs.

Let me out of here.

After Sergeant O'Hallihan went
to the trouble of stealing the
colonel's car?

- Let me out.
- Relax.

It's the only way I could
get to see you alone.

But it's not fair to Vernon.

Yeah, that's the best part
of it.

- Where are we going?
- Back about six years.

Thanks, Charlie, I can take it
from here. Scramble.

Wilco!

The Village Cellar.

It's been a long time, Marty.

Under a new management.

Kind of like what's happened
to us.

I know the rental agent.

Oh, no.

I wish I hadn't seen it
like this.

Oh, I don't know, Julie.

It's all in the way you
look at it.

I'll always remember it the
way it was the first time.

The first time I saw you.

A warm kind of saloon.

Just about what you'd expect
to find in the Village.

Red checked tablecloths.

They didn't show the spots.

Sawdust on the floor.

You were rehearsing
that afternoon.

Gwen was doing a pirouette.

She ended up in Vernon's arms.

There was a cloud of
smoke at the piano.

I could hardly see the guy
behind it.

I could see you all right.

You were standing in
the doorway.

Out of work and scared stiff.

I remember you were
staring at me.

I wasn't staring at you.

It was those lovely hamburgers.

There was something about you.

I hadn't eaten for two days.

That seedy character
you had for an agent
brought you into the place.

We'd been looking all over
town for a girl.

And he said you were
something special.

He had no idea how right he was.

I remember, you asked
if I cared to have lunch.

But Mike was putting on the
big act.

Mike said you just had
lunch at 21
with a big producer.

A likely story.

He said you were only
interested in an audition.

You were pressed for time.
Everybody in show business
was after you.

Mike went off with Vernon and
Gwen, and there we were.

The two of us.

You weren't much
impressed with my material.

It looked like I was gonna
get a quick brush.

You were interrupting
my lunch, and
I had a date uptown.

Oh no, "I've been
kissed before."

Every singer in town was
using that.

Oh well...and away we go.

* I've been kissed before

* Arms have held me fast

* You can tell by my kiss
You weren't the first

* And you won't be the last

Oo, waka-doo,
and a roony too-too.

I figured it was only
common courtesy
to let you finish.

* I've been kissed before

* Only fools tell when

* I was born to be kissed
To kiss and be kissed

* And I...

You want another one of those?

- No thanks.
- You got enough money
to get home?

I'm not going home.
I came here for an audition.

Well, you're not in any shape.
You're weak.

Look, mister, I've waited a
long time for a
break like this.

I like hamburgers. And I wanna
be eating them regular.

Let's try it again from the top.

Is this all the music
you brought with you?

It's 50 cents a copy.

Sorry. Wait a minute.

You have this in your
repertoire?

- Sure I know it.
- You know the verse, too?

Hammer away.

Well, maybe, before we get
into it, I could give you
a few pointers.

See, we have a strange type of
audience, here in the Village.

I mean they're not exactly
music lovers. They're a little
more down to earth.

I get your message.

* How glad the many millions

* Of Tom and Dick and Harrys

* Would be

* To capture me

* But you had such

* Persistence

* You wore down my resistance

* I fell

* And it was swell

* You're my big and

* Brave and handsome

* Romeo

* How I won you

* I shall never

* Never know

* I've got a

* Crush on you

* Sweetie pie

* All the day and night time

* Hear me sigh

* I never had

* The least notion

* That I could fall

* With such emotion

* Could you coo?

* Could you care?

* For a cunning cottage, baby

* We could share

* The world will pardon my

* Mush

* 'Cause I have got

* A crush

* Baby

* On you

* Crush on you

* Sweetie pie

* All the day and night time

* Hear me sigh

* I never had the least notion

* That I could fall
With so much emotion

* Could you coo?

* Could you care?

* For a cottage, baby

* We could share

* The world will pardon my

* Mush

* 'Cause I have got a crush

* Baby

* Baby

* Crush on you

* Sweetie pie

* Night and day time

* Hear me sigh

* I never had the least notion

* That I could fall

* With such emotion

* Could you coo?

* Could you care?

* For a tiny cottage

* Baby, we could share

* The world will pardon my mush

* 'Cause I have got

* A crush

* Baby

* Baby

* And I have got a crush

* Baby

* Baby

* Baby

* On

Remember what you said to me?

I love you, Marty.
I'll never love anyone else.

You mean it?

I'm coming home, Julie.

- Are you gonna tell Vernon,
or should I?
- I'll tell him.

- Poor Vernon.
- Poor Vernon.

I guess I already knew it
all the time.

Don't act this way,
Vernon, please.

How else can I act?

Marty and you gone all day.

Me alone in my hotel room.
Thinking.

About what?

Julie!

About myself.

Maybe if you took something
to get the acid
out of your system.

Julie, I...

I wish you every happiness
in the world.

What do you mean?

Well, I know my weaknesses.
My faults.

It's not hard to see
I'm just a plain guy.

Why should any woman want me?

- I married you.
- Why?

Well...

How can you ask a thing
like that?

There, you see?

Marty, he's everything
a woman loves.

He's handsome, reckless,
unreliable.

Selfish.

No, I'm licked, Julie.

There's no use fighting.

I'm going away.

Well, if that's how you feel?

How I feel has nothing to do
with it.

Far be it from me to interfere
with your plans.

Go ahead and quit.

But what kind of a man gives
up before the fighting starts?

I shouldn't give up?

Of course not.
Never take no for an answer.

You can't lose if you have
the will to win.

Keep fighting until
the last man is down.

- Are there others?
- Others?

Don't quit now. Don't hang
your head and run away.
Fight for the woman you love.

That's the way.

That's more like it.

Darling.

- You love me?
- Yes.

- Who's gonna tell Marty?
- Oh.

Break it to him gently.

Julie, I'm coming home.

Anybody home?

No use waiting
for Marty and Vernon.

They won't be in any mood
to talk about a show.

I hate to see talent
going to waste, brilliant
writers doing nothing,

a dancer like you
wasted in nightclubs.

The theater is my whole life,
Gwen. This sort of thing gets
me...here.

Isn't that where you
keep your wallet?

Okay, so I like money.
Is that a crime?

The boys have got something
in common, now.
They both hate Julie.

They'll kiss me for asking
them to go back to work
together again.

Great. My collaborator,
breaking up my marriage.

What about my marriage?

I never wanna see your ugly
face again.

Taxi.

- Where to?
- Reno!

What happened?

The next time he's reported
dead, it won't be a mistake.

With these two hands.

Vernon.

Why don't you use those two
hands on the typewriter?

Write a show without him.
That'll kill him
worse than anything.

You're out of your mind.

Taxi.

- Twenty-third street theater.
- What do you think
you're doing?

We'll go to my office,
have a few drinks,
sign a few contracts.

Before you know it you'll
be collecting five percent of
the gross.

Which you won't have to split
with a collaborator.

- Why pick on me?
- Marty's cab left too fast.

Don't listen to her.
Don't I know the one
who's the real talent?

Look, I wouldn't write a show
for Julie if you hung me up
by my thumbs.

Who mentioned Julie?

Did I mention Julie?

Did you mention Julie?

- Did you mention Julie?
- Huh?

He didn't mention Julie.

All right, make jokes.

What's wrong with writing a
show for Gwen?

Wonderful dancer.
Great personality.

Hey, wait a minute.
Come down to earth.
I'm not ready for that.

A show for Gwen?

If it's a hit, it'll not only
kill Marty, it'll kill Julie.

You know what makes you
so attractive, Mike?

It's that mean, diabolical mind.

What do you say, Gwen?
Wanna try it?

A star, and a show of your own.

Hold it, hold it.

That's all for tonight.
Everybody go home. Tuck into
your nice cozy beds and

think of me sitting up
half the night

trying to figure out what to
do with the second act.

Attention, kids.

Everybody see Harry Selby
about the costume call
for the morning.

And please be on time
for the fitting.

Report back here
when you're through.

It is gorgeous, no?

- Okay, fine. You can go now.
- Merci, monsieur.

Thanks a lot.

How about dinner, Gwen?

- Why, I'm game for anything.
- There's a steak involved.

Why, Mike, I'm
flattered. That costs money.

Well I figured I'd get
even...
- Say, Gwen.

Would you mind putting in a
little overtime?

Sure, if you want me to.

- Pick me up at my place
at 9 o'clock.
- Okay.

Why don't we take it from the
promenade section.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

Good.

Good night, folks.

- Good night.
- Good night, Harry.

That's better.

Wonder if he'll take me to
a place with candlelight?

- Who?
- Mike.

Big date, huh?

I think candlelight is
terribly flattering to a girl.

Don't you?

Watch your balance.

What kind of champagne
should I order?

Depends on
what you're launching.

I wonder if I should wear
my blue dress.

Watch your point.

All right. Hup!

Wait a minute.

What's the matter?

That felt different, somehow.

It's the same way we've
been doing it for two weeks.

I guess I never noticed before.

Well, let's try it again.

All right.

It is different.

Maybe I should wear
my pink dress.

Black is always good.

Of course, I always say,
when a girls accepts a date
with a fella,

it presents many more problems
to her than it does to him.

Why, all he has to do
is see whether he's got
a dark suit,

a shirt,

maybe a different tie,

and he's ready.

On the other hand,

a girl has to think about
things like

whether she's gonna
wear a hat, because, you see,

some fellas like hats

and other fellas
don't like hats.

Do you like hats?

Maybe I shouldn't
go out with him at all.

You see,

you might go out with a fella,
but there might be

somebody else you wanted
to go out with

and never got around
to mentioning it.

And maybe you wanted
to go out with him, too.

But you never got around
to mentioning it either.

Even though the two of you
are around each other
all the time,

taking each other for granted,
so what's a girl gonna do?

They're staying away
like this was Shakespeare.

Mr. Hudson, you've got bust.

I've had them before.
I've pulled out of it.

Everybody who goes to a show,
they know what the writers do.

They know what the composers
do. They know what the
actors do.

Nobody knows
what the producer does.

Legit, please.

I'm gonna let you in
on my little secret.

Who's this, Joe?
Mike Hudson.

What is it Mike?
The usual story?

Heavy advance sales for
Mike Hudson show.

Huh?

Say, is this Mike Hudson?

What do you mean
you got no second act?

The book is weak.

Say, what do you wanna
run down your own show for?

Sure, I'll print it.

Are you sure this is
Mike Hudson?

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

You don't think Gwen Howard
can carry the show.

Nobody's buying tickets.

You predict everyone
including yourself
will lose their shirts.

Of course I'll print it.

You think I'm crazy?

Mike, confidentially.
Are you...

Who, me?

What good does that do?

Marty's on a ranch
in Nevada someplace
waiting for his divorce.

Julie's in California,
isn't she?

These papers have
a wide circulation.

Anyway, if they don't,
I'm mailing out copies.

Maybe it'll look better
when it's typed up.

Breaking for lunch, so let's go.

Okay.

No matter what I do
to that second act,
it comes out the same.

- Dull.
- Don't worry, kid, it'll come
to you.

Hi.

Just thought I'd drop around,
take in a rehearsal.
Any objections?

I guess you read
our sick notice in Variety?

Yeah, well, they're wrong.
I went through this script.

The second act
can be fixed like that.

Wait a minute. Where did you
get a copy of the script?

What do you mean?
You mailed it to me.

I mail...who mailed it to you?

Twenty-two cents.
That's all it cost, plus tax.

Wanna go to work?

- Do you?
- Do you?

Ah!

Look, let's go. We've got to
keep alive one of the great
romances of the theater:

Mike and his wallet.

I feel it...here.

Everybody back in one hour,
please!

Gwen...Marty's here!

- What?
- Uh-huh!

- Wonderful. Is it gonna work?
- Like a charm.

- Well, I gotta see him.
- Uh-uh.

They're creating.
Let's go eat.

I will buy you the biggest...

Any casting today?

- Julie!
- Baby!

- Gee, it's good to see you.
- Gwen.

- Hiya, Mike.
- Hi, honey.

Is it true, what
Billboard said about the show?

Pay no attention. They use
very unreliable sources.

It's true.
We're about to hatch a turkey.

Look, I don't wanna push my
way into anything but...

...if I can help.

Julie, will you?

Of course I will.

Well, let's all sit down.

I just happen to have a
contract right here.

Your old salary, run of the
play, dated yesterday.

What kept you?

Oh, Mike.
It's just like the old days,

double-crossed before I start.

I love you, you dirty rat.

Julie, I think I've kind of
double-crossed you, too.

Vernon and I...

Well, legally
he was fair game but...

- If you still want...
- Uh-uh.

Once you make up your mind,
don't ever change it.

She's right. I don't want you
on the open market again.

- You're safe, Mike.
- Hey, Mike.

Mike, the second act,
we've got a wonderful idea.

Mike, this is great.
All you gotta do is...

- Now Marty, look...
- Mike.

What did you come
down for? The wake?

I heard the show was in trouble.

So I came down to offer to help.

We don't need your help.

Maybe we don't.
But we do.

In that case I'm through.
The only time I wanna see you
again is in a divorce court.

I'm sorry, I'm leaving the firm.

Look, I may not like
seeing you any more than
you like seeing me.

But when a show's in trouble,
you've got to try to help.

I'd like to help.
But not on those terms.

That's pretty selfish, isn't it?

Well, look who's talking
about being selfish.
The original two-for-one girl.

Our friends are in trouble.

And hot or cold, they've got
to open two weeks from
tonight in New Haven.

I'm gonna stay with it.

How about you?

Oh, let's get back
to the typewriter.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...eight.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...eight.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six.

Hold it.

Hold it, look.
Now wait a minute.

We all know we've only got
four days to go to
dress rehearsal, right?

So let's get with it.

I know you're a big star,
but you're supposed to

bend down all the way
like the rest of the help.

All right, you girls take five.

Not you.

We're gonna try it again
from the beginning.

And one...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...eight.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...eight.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...eight.

Eight.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...eight.

One...two...three...four.
Five...six...seven...

Come on, there's no time for
rehearsal. Make it for real.

For real.

Everybody, half-hour!
Tomorrow night
is at 8 o'clock.

Remember. Everybody,
tomorrow night is at
8 o'clock.

Don't let him get you down.

Gwen, I think
I'd better leave the show.

Bad as that?

I'm in love with a man
I'm legally married to.
Isn't it silly?

If you ask me, I think
he's still in love with you.

Then why doesn't he says so?

What do you think he's been
doing for the last two weeks?

Every time he balls you out.

Every time he treats you
like a dog?

The mating call
of the lonely male.

Why doesn't he come right out
and tell me?

That's what you've been
waiting for, isn't it?

That's why you
came back to the show?

But because
he won't do it your way,

you're gonna run out
on the show the day before
dress rehearsal.

What would you do?

Oh...I'd probably do something
stupid like

swallowing my pride and

crawling to him
on my hands and knees.

Right out in public.

But you wouldn't
do anything like that.

It's liable to work.

Wouldn't I?

One...two...three...go.

* Oh Matilda, it's so hot

* Sat up till day break

* Couldn't even sleep a wink

* My mind was wandering

* All I did was...think

* The way I've been treated

* Would drive a gal

* To drink

* How come you do me like you

* Do...do...do?

* How come you do me
Like you do?

* Why

* Try to make me feel so blue?

* I ain't done nothin'

* To you

* Do me right or else just
Let me be

* 'Cause,
lover, I can beat you
Doing anytime

* What you're doing to me

* So tell me

* How come you do me like you
Do...do...do?

* How come you do me
Like you do?

* How come you do me like you
Do...do...do?

* How come you do me
Like you...do?

* Why try to make me
Feel so blue?

* I ain't done nothin' to you

* Do me right or else just
Let me be

* 'Cause I can beat you doing
What you're doing to me

* How come you do me like you
Do...do...do?

* How come you do me
Like you do?

* How come you do me

* Like you do?

* How come you

* Do?

* Why make me

* Feel blue?

* I done nothin' to you

* Do me right or else just
Let me be

* 'Cause I can beat you doing
What you're doing to me

* How come you do me like you
Do...do...do?

* How come you do me?

* How come you do me like you
Do...do...do?

* How come you do me?

* Do me like you do?

* Like you do?

Watch.

* How come you do me like you

* Do...do...do?

* How come you do me

* Like you do?

* Why

* Try to make me Feel so blue?

* I ain't done nothin' to you

* Do me right or else just

* Let me be

* 'Cause I can't beat you doing

* What you're doing to me

* How come you do me like you

* Do...do...do?

* I've got a

* Crush on you

* Sweetie pie

* All the day and night time

* Hear me sigh

* Crush on you

* Sweetie pie

* All the day and night time

* Hear me sigh

* I never had the least...notion

* That I could fall with
So much emotion

* Could you coo?
Could you care?

* For a cottage We could share?

* The world will pardon my

* Mush

* Mush?

* 'Cause I have got a

* Crush

* Baby

* Baby

* Baby

On...you