Original subtitles

- Daughter.

Wife.

Mother.

These are my roles.

I chose them.

For better, for worse.

And then you came along,

exploded all of that.

- Morning.

- Good morning, darling.

Did you sleep okay?

- Uh-huh.

- Oi, how did I raise such a caveman?

- I hate to break it to you, Mum,

but I don't think cavemen had almond milk.

- What have you got planned for today?

- Nothing life-changing.

- I used to dream of having the things I have now.

A wife, a house,

a family of my own.

I suppose I thought when they were mine,

I wouldn't corrupt them.

How wrong was I?

Morning, Marsha.

- This is a surprise.

Your father's out in the garden.

- Could you get him for me, please?

- I think I can manage that.

Edward?

Edward!

- Yeah?

- It's Patrick for you.

- Patrick.

- I hope you know it's mum's birthday.

- Well, she was my wife

before she was your mother.

- Thanks for enlightening me.

That's all I called to say.

- Oh, God.

Sorry.

Della.

- I'm in the quiet carriage.

- I only rang to sing you happy birthday.

Well, and to tell you the crap news.

My flight back's been canceled.

I've tried everything.

- But it-- - I even resorted to flirting

with the man at the desk.

No dice.

The next flight back's not till tomorrow.

- Good afternoon.

- Checking in for Julia Day.

- Welcome back, Mrs. Day.

- Just me this time.

- Are you any good with flowers?

- Is that a gender neutral question, Mr. Day?

Or are we swimming into dangerous territory?

- Yeah, sod off.

It's a yes-no question.

Will you,

will you order something nice

for my mother's birthday?

- What colors does she like?

- White.

- Not a color.

Leave it to me.

How much do you want to spend?

- However much.

I just want it to be special.

She's on her own now.

- Oh, wow!

They're a bit small, actually, darling.

Thank you.

- Well, what could I say?

It's not every day your old ma turns 60.

- Oh, less of the old.

How are you?

- Oh, you know, horribly busy.

Everyone's on their third consecutive late night,

but don't worry, I've told them

that I have to be out by eight.

- Oh, don't be ridiculous.

If you have to work, you have to work.

- But it's your 60th.

It's a big one.

- Please, don't worry.

- I do worry a lot.

I feel like a total shit,

but Della and Leo are just gonna have

to hold the fort this one.

Mum, I've got to go.

I'll make it up to you.

I swear.

- Jacques Restaurant?

- Hi, I have a table booked tonight

under the name of Day.

I need to cancel it.

- Wonder what we're missing.

- A 520 BC warrior woman.

No bigger than my index finger,

yet you could tell everything about her.

Her strength, her capability

and what she had to put up with.

- Well, either you work here

or that is some serious armchair buffery.

- Buffery?

Is that a word?

- Probably not.

So, do you?

- I did many, many years ago.

- Not that many years, I'm sure.

So what was it that you did here

many, many years ago?

- I was a conservator.

- And if somebody didn't know what that was?

- It's looking after the exhibits,

recording their intricacies.

Basically doing the impossible,

halting the march of time.

- Sounds kind of incredible.

- It was.

- So why stop?

- Life got in the way.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I know what you-- - Ladies and gentlemen,

the museum will be closing

in 20 minutes.

Thank you.

- Thanks for the expertise.

- You make me sound like I'm 100.

- Would you like to go for a drink?

- Who with?

What?

- With me.

You can say no.

I'm not some weird stalker

who's gonna follow you home

and strangle you for rejecting me.

Okay, I'm gonna stop talking now.

Except to say,

my name is Benjamin.

- Julia.

- Julia.

Well, it was very nice to meet you, Julia.

And I'm sure you,

well, you may well have other plans.

- Well, I did, but I,

not any more.

- Sorry it's so rammed.

- It's all right.

My son works in a pub.

My youngest.

Works is overstating it.

He takes the least shifts possible.

My husband, ex-husband,

courtesy of my ex-best friend,

doesn't mind Leo drifting about.

Says it's character building.

So my other two go crazy about it, of course.

- That's all out there, then.

- Hi, you've reached Julia.

Sorry I missed you, please--

- If it makes you feel any better,

I was only cleaning coffee--

I'm not joking.

- What is the worst thing you've ever done?

- Ah.

I've always been terrified

of getting in trouble.

Doing the right thing.

It's a desperately dull mantra to live by,

but live by it I do.

I think if I'm really honest with myself,

I've chosen to be this way.

If I didn't, if I

let myself off the leash,

I don't know where it would take me.

What I'd be capable of.

None of us do.

And I'm remembering why me

and white wine aren't friends.

Um, what about you?

Your worst thing.

- Fine.

Fine, fine.

I said some things to my dad,

shitty things.

Things that turned out to be last things.

Sorry, this is totally unacceptable first date chat.

Mm.

- Thank you, Benjamin.

It was really fun.

So I better go.

- Oh, I'd never forgive myself

if anything were to happen to you.

- You mean on the long and treacherous

journey to the very secure lift

and my locked door?

- Exactly.

Hello. - Good evening, sir.

- This is very nice.

- Sh.

It's all right.

- Are you serious?

- I was stealthy.

I was beyond stealthy.

- I can see that.

So why'd the mothership decide not to stay?

- Quite unfathomably, she's decided

she'd rather stay in a hotel

than our perfectly nice guest bedroom.

Never mind the cost of it,

she'll be on the other side of town

to her grandchildren,

which is just bizarre.

- Yeah, well, it is your mother.

- What's that supposed to mean?

She's had a crappy year.

If she wants to treat herself,

then she should, don't you think?

- Yes, yes, I do.

I'm tired is all.

And this fucker,

lovely fucker hasn't given me a minute's peace all day.

Well, she's just had,

and then some great oaf.

- Some great, handsome oaf.

Give her to me.

Hello.

It's okay.

Sweet.

I know it's tough, isn't it?

Yeah, I know.

- Yeah, good girl.

- It's not much of a view.

- I disagree.

- I was attempting to be wry,

unsuccessfully, clearly.

- You're being ridiculous.

- At the risk of you laughing at me again.

- Would you like to dance with me?

- I'm sorry.

It was a stupid idea.

- No, it wasn't.

I just can't remember the last time I was asked.

- Hey.

- Hello.

- You have to go.

- Why's that?

- I was 60 yesterday.

60.

And you're, well, I mean, I don't even know,

but you're bloody young and--

- Julia?

Shall I get some room service?

Right, so until we've done the Tower of London,

we can't really consider ourselves proper tourists.

I've already got the perfect excuse for work.

And before you say anything, it's not a lie.

It's just not a truth as such.

- Sounds like a question of semantics.

- No, it's a question of intention.

And since I have no intention

of doing anybody any harm,

it only counts as a tiny white lie.

- You are dangerously persuasive.

- So here's what I'm thinking.

- I have to go back to Devon.

I have something that I can't get out of.

- And this something

that you can't get out of,

is that a long something

or a short something?

- It's a lunch something.

- So I'll meet you back at Paddington

in time for dinner then, yes?

- I'm starting to think

that you're certifiable.

- Where've you been?

I was worried.

I even resorted to calling Leo to see where you were,

who, of course, had no idea what day it even was.

What have you been doing all this time?

I mean, how many galleries

can one woman really consume?

- You'd be surprised.

- Julia, where have you gone?

- I'm right here.

- Don't take me for a fool.

You're thinking of that feckless son of mine.

Much use it'll do you.

"Oh, the man who commits adultery with a woman

"is lacking sense.

"He would destroy himself."

Does it?

Proverbs 6:32-34.

- They should make that into a fridge magnet, Hazel.

It's very pithy.

- I--

Something wrong with the bell?

- Hello, mother.

Nice to see you, too.

- I have visitors.

- Yeah, I, Julia.

- She's all yours.

- Well, don't leave on my account.

- Who said I was?

Someone's waiting for me.

- Hey, I saw your car.

You really do go above and beyond the call

of duty for Hazel.

- We're family.

Well, we were a family.

- How was your birthday?

- I have a train to catch.

- My least favorite subject at school was history.

Always felt so irrelevant.

All we have is what's to come,

not what's been.

- That's convenient for you.

I have to run.

- But the one moment that always stood out for me

was that brief period during the Cold War

where everyone just got their shit together.

It didn't mean they were all best friends,

everything was forgiven.

It just meant, I don't know,

things could be easier.

- I'm not having this conversation.

- You have to at some point!

- Ah, thank fuck you're back.

There's literally nothing

to eat in the fridge.

Light bulb's gone in my bathroom,

and the kitchen sink smells like a dead badger.

Good news.

Curt's got a load of bricks for the pizza oven.

He's said he'd give me the lot for 500 quid,

which I said I was good for,

obviously, but I'm, well, short.

- So you want money?

- Thanks, Mum.

You're the best.

- Do you or do you not know

where the light bulbs live?

- I get it.

This is about your birthday.

I've said it already,

but I'll say it again.

I'm sorry that I forgot.

I just, I have a lot going on at the moment,

and I'll make it up to you at your fast-approaching 70th.

Oh, come on, you've made your point.

- Not everything is always about you, Leo.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I know flowers are a more traditional reunion gift, but--

It's very sweet.

Thank you. - Ready?

- Yep.

- Hi, you've reached Julia.

Sorry I missed you.

Please, leave a message,

and I'll call you back, thanks.

- Patrick.

- Shit.

- Right response.

- I'm need to,

you look amazing.

You really do.

- But.

- Excuse me, sorry.

Is there somewhere we can sit?

Somewhere a bit less hectic.

- Sure, follow me.

You're a brave man.

I wouldn't bring my mum here.

- Lucky he didn't, then, isn't it?

- Julia.

Julia!

You do not look like my mum!

- Look, I've held off asking this because, well,

because I didn't want to know the answer,

but what exactly are you doing with me?

Why aren't you with someone your own age?

What's wrong with you?

- Oh, I see we're done with the pleasantries.

- I know nothing about you.

Nothing concrete.

- That's not true, you know lots.

- I don't even know your last name.

It's a pretty bloody basic detail.

- My last name is Greene.

All right?

Now can we please try and go back

to having a nice evening?

- I don't think we can.

- Fine, fine.

You wanna know stuff?

Here is stuff.

I was born in the Royal Surrey Hospital.

I'm a Virgo.

I'm an only child.

Always wanted a brother,

somebody who could look out for me,

but, in the end,

who really looks out for anybody in this life?

My parents, they,

well, let's just say

they don't really factor into the story.

And in answer to your question,

I was with somebody else.

I was with someone my own age.

I even thought that I was gonna marry her,

but it turns out that she, well,

she had a very different plan.

So I think, "Fine, fine, that's me.

"Done."

And then I happened to meet you,

and I forget about her

just for a little while, I forget.

And, yeah, you're older.

Big deal.

Ta-da!

- Did you just tick everything?

- Maybe.

- Aren't you sick of ordering room service?

- No.

- You'd be happy just holed up here for another week,

never leaving the room, wouldn't you?

- You are literally describing my dream scenario.

- It's not real life, though, is it?

- Well, who needs real life?

- I think I do.

I think we have to face it at some point.

- Okay.

So what do we do?

- We?

- Hm?

- We tell people?

- The dreaded people.

So who gets the honor

of being told first?

- Ah, I guess my kids.

- All right, then.

- They're gonna love you.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Happy birthday. - Thank you.

- You look--

- How are you, darling?

How's work?

- Oh. - Eimear and the girls?

- They send granny their love.

- Thank you.

- Did Dad get you anything?

- Can we not?

Not tonight.

- Just tell me he at least got you a present.

- Why would he?

- Because you were married for 35 years.

- Patrick--

- He at least got you a card?

Just tell me he at least got you a card.

- I don't want a card from him.

I don't want anything from him.

I just want to have a nice evening

with no mention of that fucking man.

You're a good boy.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- I'm not that late.

- Leo.

- Oh, so what are we eating?

- We were waiting for you to order.

- Well, wait no longer, my friend.

Ooh, lobster looks lush.

- It's 50 quid a kilo. - We're having the set menu.

- It's Mum's birthday dinner.

Belated birthday dinner,

so it's up to her to decide.

Do we have to order off the set menu?

- Have whatever you want, darling.

There's something,

well, there's something I need to tell you all,

and I'd appreciate it

if you didn't pass it on to your father.

- You're not dying, are you?

- No, Leo.

I'm not dying.

Sorry to disappoint.

The divorce has finally come through,

and I've met someone.

- Like a romantic someone?

- Like a romantic someone.

- Well, it's better than you dying.

I think.

- Don't be a dick.

It's much better.

- We're not ready to order.

I'll let you know when we are. - Oh, no, he isn't,

this is the someone.

Benjamin.

This is Benjamin.

- What the actual fuck?

He can't be much older than you.

- I think Mum's having some kind of breakdown.

This is a smart place, you know.

- Della, do you need to freshen up?

- Shall we?

- So tell me, Benjamin.

What kind of cushty work number have you got

that allows you to be prowling art galleries

in the afternoon?

- Copywriting.

You kind of set your own hours,

hence the prowling.

- Sounds almost too good to be true.

Very nice.

Very cool.

Us lawyers don't do cool.

- Well, I'm sure that there are other perks.

- Yes, there are.

Wolves kept firmly from the door.

- Can I?

- You're using lip gloss now as well?

- As well as?

- What part of the world is it that you hail from?

- Kent.

- Oh, well, Kent's a big place.

Where exactly?

- Tiny village, you won't know it.

- Try me.

- It's called Newenden.

- Family still there?

- Are you not going to eat that?

- Oh.

Please, be my guest.

I see you've got yourself quite the tattoo there.

- Leo, Julia tells me

that you've moved back home with her, temporarily.

- I'm back home temporarily.

- Yeah, no, I just mean I get it.

Can't be easy for your generation to try to--

- I wouldn't say you're far off my generation, Ben.

- It's Benjamin.

- Oh.

- Look, why don't we just address

the colossal elephant in the room?

- I don't know what you mean.

- I understand that this is awkward for you.

I'd be the same.

She's your mum.

You're rightly protective of her.

- Well, thanks for the permission.

- Then you see this youngish guy,

and you're thinking, "What's his game?"

All I can say to try to reassure you

is I'm not going to hurt her.

- Good, 'cause if you did, we'd kill you.

- How are you?

- Thank you.

- Oh, no, Mum.

Put it away.

- Well, that's kind.

- See you.

- Really good to meet you all.

Oh.

- Thank you.

- That is properly grim.

- You'll love this.

Leo has already managed to tell dad.

- It just slipped out.

I made him swear not to say anything to Mum.

- She specifically asked us not to.

- What can I say?

I'm in shock.

I mean, she hardly soft-soaked us with either bombshell.

- The divorce isn't a bombshell.

It's overdue.

- How did dad take it?

- He thought the timing was interesting.

- Oh, how depressingly typical,

thinking the whole world revolves around him.

Right, Benjamin.

What's he after?

- One word.

Well, two, I suppose.

Gold digger.

Thank you, Kanye.

- Do we instantly have to be suspicious?

- Yes.

He's, what, 20, 30 years younger than Mum.

- And?

- Mum has the house,

the villa, the investments.

She's the proverbial golden fleece.

- I'm sure she'd love to be described like that.

- The man didn't even try to pick up the bill!

Never mind he's decked out in designer gear,

which I find hard to believe he paid for.

- So what if mum wants to treat him?

It's her money.

- That's my inheritance you're talking about.

Well, our.

- He was evasive, artfully so.

When you think about it,

how much did he really give away about himself?

- It was a dinner, not an interrogation.

- Could be an opportunist.

Could be far worse.

Either way, we'll obviously have to stop it.

- Has it occurred to either of you

that mum was happy tonight?

Like actually, properly happy,

like in a way she hasn't been

since our bell-end of a father walked out.

- How is it, then?

Emily being back?

- What?

She's back?

How do you know?

- It's a new-fangled thing called social media.

I assumed she'd tell you herself.

- There is a thing called tact, Leo.

- Mm, coming from both of you.

I've got mates to see.

Not that this hasn't been lovely.

- You didn't need to,

I'm totally fine about it.

So what?

She's back.

She didn't tell me.

It's no biggie.

How's everything with you anyway?

- Ah.

- So much detail.

It's overwhelming.

- Everything's great,

if you count getting, let's see.

Yep, four missed calls from your wife

because you're out past,

wait for it, 10 o'clock.

- Remind me never to get married.

- I don't think you need reminding.

- I've just realized something

of epically tragic proportions.

Our 60-year-old mother is getting laid more than both of us.

- Come here!

- Dell, do you,

do you ever think about?

- This thing with Benjamin

will burn out, guaranteed.

So I say let her enjoy herself.

- And if it doesn't?

She's our mum.

It's our job to protect her.

- One of your guests, Julia.

Julia Day.

What room is she in?

- I'm afraid I'm not at liberty

to disclose that information, sir.

- I'm her son.

I just need to speak to her.

- That may well be the case, sir--

- It is the case.

Right.

Me, my mum.

Now, what room is she in?

- I'll see if Mrs. Day is willing

to receive further visitors.

- Thank you.

Further visitors?

I'm her son.

He's with her.

- Patrick, what's going on?

- Nothing, I was just--

- Come on.

I didn't know you were coming back.

And shit-faced.

- I uh...

- I'll get you some water.

- Thank you.

I'm not sure what I'd do without you.

- I'm sure you'd cope.

- I refuse to be anything like my parents.

My mum, I love her,

I really do, but she is weak.

Always has been.

My father,

he's not even worth the oxygen.

I'm a good man.

I have to be a good man.

Or else what am I?

Thanks.

- Never thought I'd be the kind of woman

who checks up on her husband.

I'm going back to work.

I've emailed my old chambers already.

- We agreed a year.

- We agreed a lot.

- I can't do this right now.

Mum's shagging someone my age.

She brought him to dinner to meet us.

Like it was a thing.

- What's he like?

- A liar.

Probably a criminal.

- And you got all that

from the one meeting?

- He is half her age.

- Yeah, well, it would have been hard

for her telling you all.

- Oh, for her?

Are you serious?

- Would yous prefer it

if she stayed miserable, then, would you?

She's a woman in her own right.

She is not just your mother.

Unless you're jealous of him.

- You're really on her side?

Like, really?

It doesn't matter to you that I'm your husband?

That you're going to be loyal to me?

- Do you know who you sound like?

Your father.

- Fuck.

- It will be okay.

All right, it won't be okay,

but your mother is old enough

to make her own mistakes.

We just have to be there to pick up the pieces.

- Oh, that's cheered me up.

- Well, lucky for you, you miserable sod,

whatever happens, whichever way it cuts,

you've always got us.

- We just thought our own place

in London might be nice.

Your glass is empty, my love,

which is entirely unacceptable.

- Mm, keeping me pickled

to get me down the aisle, aren't you, Mr. Greene?

- Busted.

Patrick, would you mind grabbing us another bottle?

They're just in the garage there.

- Well, we can't be low in champagne,

not with everything we have to celebrate.

- Thanks, mate.

- Mum, I'm sorry, but he's not a good man.

There are so many things--

- I will say it one last time, Patrick.

Do not make me choose.

- Uncle Leo, isn't it amazing?

It's a wedding!

- Go and help Auntie Della.

Go on.

Go on.

- Oi, are you really gonna behave like this all day?

- Mate, you promised.

You said you'd stop it.

There's still time.

- Marriage is forever.

When you're given the right person,

it's unbreakable.

It's being able to say what's mine is yours,

and what's yours is mine.

It's the feeling that I have in my chest right now.

A feeling that I am going to burst with pride

when I say the words, "Ladies and gentlemen,

"please raise your glasses to my wife.

"This is Julia Greene."