Original subtitles

this is the story of Walter

nebiker doing what he likes best

fighting crime in the streets you see

Walter's a policeman unfortunately the

chief doesn't want Walter on the streets

Captain get back to your cage

boy now so Walter must fight crime in

his own way in the computer room that's

where he's an expert

fortunately for me Walter's Advanced

knowledge of electronics led him to

experiment with what is called a

hologram that's a very fancy word for a

three-dimensional picture that when

perfected can be made to look real sound

real as a matter of fact given enough

power it can even be made to feel

real that's kind of what got me into

this

[Music]

world

my name is

otan you must be Walter

Nea how did you know that it's on the

programming you've F into my system I

must say Walter you're very good very

good

indeed I look

wonderful if you do say so yourself well

you programmed me to be honest but tell

me why did you call me Automan it means

that you're the world's first truly

automatic man you can do anything

because you're not real oh but I am I'm

as real as you are just different and

thanks to you perfect nobody's perfect

autom man that's not true Walter you've

programmed me to observe other people

and do whatever they can do as well as

they can do it Jimmy Conor is playing

tennis jravolta dancing in fact on a

scale of 1 to 10 think of me as an

11 I created a

monster no what Walter really created

was a wonderful Force for

good

Automan that's

[Music]

me

[Applause]

[Music]

don't worry folks just a little security

problem hold

up

where are the stones they're not on him

try his room I did that girl he's been

with Laura Ferguson leave Lura after

this come

on please don't tell anyone else if they

find out my life could be in

danger I just hope this message gets to

you in

time

Philip Philip is that you

you just left a message for someone and

I heard you what did you tell him what

do you want from me you have something

that doesn't belong to you I want it

back look whatever it is you want I

don't have it guess you made your

choice help

[Music]

me

what are you doing I'm familiarizing

myself with your various forms of

recreation crime is fought on the

streets Otto not on the golf links the

more I know about humans the more

effective I'll be at recreating their

behavior who knows I may have to

impersonate a doctor

someday you're right in the Fairway

would you please Walter

oh

you know it's amazing the links your

species will go to to put a little white

ball in a hole for someone who can trace

his family tree back to pong I'd think

you'd have a little more appreciation

for games oh darn hit the sand

trap hello oh hi roxand Wally do you

know my friend Laura Ferguson who I told

you about her the travel Rider oh yeah

Laura well I'm afraid she's in trouble

what do you mean can you meet me at her

apartment in ten minutes what's the

address all right right I got it

bye-bye uh

Auto the hole's the other way Walter the

shortest distance between two points is

not always a straight

line birdie

your friend Laura sure lives in a nice

place Laura went to Club Tim for two

weeks and I'm house sitting for while

she's away Club 10 isn't that that Jet

Set Spa mhm the one on bright Isle

[Music]

yeah hello roxan this is Laura I met a

man down here by the name of Philip but

he's in some kind of trouble and now so

am I oh roxan I have never been so

scared and all my LifeWay she's writing

an article for travel World magazine but

she was due back 3 days ago well maybe

she was having such a good time she

decided to stay a little longer that's

what I thought at first but then this

morning I play back the phone messages

on her answering machine and there was a

call on it from Laura she left a message

for herself no the message was for you

me look if you don't hear from me you

have to come down to Club 10 I'll leave

a coded message that'll explain

everything but it's going to take your

friend Wally the computer expert to deci

for it please don't tell anyone else if

they find out my life could be in danger

I just hope this message gets to you in

[Music]

time

[Music]

you take a pretty mean punch are you all

right yeah

yeah well looks like we walked in on a

burglary in progress this was no routine

burglary whoever that guy was he was

after the message in Laura's tape so say

got to be connected with her

disappearance let's play this at

headquarters I'm sure Jack and the

captain will like to hear it too

if they find out my life could be in

danger I just hope this message gets to

you in

time well I got to admit that woman may

not actually be in trouble but she

certainly thinks she is Captain How can

there be any doubt in your mind

especially after the break-in we just

interrupted you said nothing was taken

from the apartment not that we could

tell he seemed to be after the tape I

want you to call the authorities over

there let them handle it Captain I've

known Laura half my life I'm not going

to stand by and let someone else try to

figure out what happened to her I'm

going to go down to Club 10 myself who

am I going to send us your backup I

can't spare a single soul here to go

with you Laura said I need Wally to

decide for the

message neish Neer whatever gone for a

week you have some vacation time coming

haven't you well yes as a matter of fact

I do good go with roxan and you'll do

some

investigating thank you Captain

[Music]

I

[Music]

think you sure you want Wally away for

that long

right just have to get along

[Music]

withan the club 10 computer was more

than accommodating I just had to provide

a a financial statement that was

sufficiently impressive ahuh here are

our reservations

now Auto J man why are they in your name

the computer told me Club 10 takes its

name very seriously admission is granted

only to those with a 10 rating in looks

as well as finances wait a minute are

you saying they wouldn't let me in they

claim they won't even make an exception

for a nine I made the only logical

choice I hope you don't mind you're

going as my valet your what well don't

worry cursor will do my

packing now wait one minute I have no

intention of being anyone's servant

understood

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

understood you know we cover those

diamonds within 72 hours we could all

end up paying for it with our

lives we'll find them good

morning unless they find them

[Music]

first what are you talking about those

people checking

in the ones I ran into while I was

searching the girls apartment

yes wait

wait well what are you going to do about

them why you in a hurry obviously

they're looking for the same thing we

are just because we couldn't find the

message the girl left doesn't mean they

won't

is everything all

right why not let them lead us to the

diamonds and then I'll deal with

[Music]

them another moment you are on my mind

taking up my time through the

day I try

controles all

[Music]

thank

you

yeah well now I know why they call this

place in club 10 Wally put your eyeballs

back in their sockets and remember why

we're here okay okay has anybody seen

cursor curser come over

here what were you doing in that

sauna no I would not believe you were

Chang into your bathing suit behav

yourself terrific

Auto excuse me hi I'm Jerry I'm Club

tense Recreation director you are my

name is Otto this is roxan this is

Walter my valet oh yes from Los Angeles

we've been expecting you come uh let me

show you to your rooms here you go

please

[Music]

so tell me how did you decide to come to

clubt a friend of mine recommended it

perhaps you know her Laura Ferguson yes

the writer she's here no she's away on a

cruise right now but she should be back

in a day or so a cruise yes she met a

very Charming Frenchman and they went

off together these romances Bloom so

quickly here it's the climate must be

well this is it as a matter of fact your

rooms happen to be right next door to

miss

Ferguson's I hope you enjoy yourselves

while you're here if there's anything

that I can do please don't hesitate to

ask thank you

thanks anything at

all CH oh no thank you we've

[Music]

eaten

[Music]

well I don't know about you two but I

don't buy that story about Laura being

away on a cruise the woman was obviously

lying how do you know that the first

time she touched me her blood pressure

was 120 over 70 the second time it was

160 over 90 she was very nervous about

something

walking lie detector Auto you're amazing

so that's one person we have to watch

out for no that's two who else that guy

in the tan jogging

suit what

Guy the one that followed us from the

pool wal do you're pretty amazing

yourself yeah well Mr amazing how are we

going to get into Laura's room without a

key well that's easy I'll let you

in

he really is

amazing come

[Music]

[Applause]

on

[Music]

reach I believe what you doing that

hurts it's nothing compared with what

we'll feel if we don't get

free now pull

[Music]

pull having interesting conversation not

really if I were

you I try praying how can I figure out a

clue I can't even find I don't even know

what we're looking for it's got to be in

this article she was working on well

I've been through it twice if there's a

clue here I don't see it perhaps this

will help what's that her notes for the

article it's a diary everywhere she went

everything she ate it's all right here

maybe if we use the diary retrace her

steps go everywhere she went do

everything she did we'll find the clue

an excellent suggestion Walter I'll get

started on the leg work right away

let's see we'll start with breakfast

lunch and

dinner big one's leaving he's got the

diary well what about the other two

they're still inside I'm following the

big one why don't you stay with the

others and I'll pick him up all right

you got it maybe it's not in the

room all she said was come to club

10 I think I'll do a little

snooping seeing as how we're not doing

too well finding the message maybe I can

find Laura someone must have seen her

leave if she left at all I'll go over

her article again I mean maybe there's

something so obvious we're just not

seeing

[Music]

it

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh you're a policeman yes I see you are

as well yeah sorry I I I I didn't know

so I

gathered all I know is that uh you were

tailing me actually I've been tailing

the man who was King you what man come

officer neiger your department and my

department we must have mutual

cooperation oh absolutely I agree then

you will tell me why you're here oh yeah

well I'm uh I'm on vacation oh please

don't insult my intelligence we want

Roger kandle as badly as you do we have

reason to believe he's using Club 10 as

a front Diamond smuggling can have a

very adverse effect on our tourism time

look Mercer uh inspector Mercer

inspector Mercer I swear I didn't know

anything about smuggling

diamonds because you're here on

vacation no I'm

not good maybe now we can get

[Music]

somewhere

[Music]

will that be all let's see Shadow Brion

a chocolate mousse and coffee you'd be

so good as to bring me 17 cups of coffee

17 oh and uh double

espresso Double

Espresso may I join you be my

guest are you hungry no but you

certainly appear to be well actually I'm

trying to cram seven days of vacation

into

[Laughter]

one it's time to tango shall

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

we

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

yeah the girl's

leaving I said the girls leaving do you

hear me yes I can hear you what's the

matter you've been running no not

exactly dancing what where's the big

guy he's going wind surfing swimming and

horseback riding and tomorrow he's going

to play two sets of tennis a little

volleyball and 18 holes of golf I'm

telling you the guy never gets tired

well he may not be getting tired but I

am I'm getting those diamonds back no

matter what it

takes

[Music]

when I tell you to

[Music]

scream

[Music]

no no no no no no no it's not bad this

is a par

five if you're going to get any distance

you have to follow through silly me I I

thought the object was to hit the ball

as hard as I

could

[Music]

no

Auto nice shot

can we

talk nice

shot 525 yd Nice

Shot I believe I'm on the Green in one

I'll see you

[Music]

there come on Mr

Nicholas he may be the club pro but he

was following me I figured the best

defense was an offense I challenged him

to a grudge match we find out anything I

overheard him on a walkie-talkie

checking in with a man named

crle Mercer was right this crle must be

hoping we'll find those diamonds Mercer

told you about that could take forever

unless unless

what why don't we act like we already

found the message and we have the

diamonds like then they'll come after us

right and lead us to Laura Walter you

continue to amaze me look we've got to

celebrate throw money around convince

them that we've got the diamonds yeah

but how I mean we don't have that much

money I believe I can remedy that

situation you're

putt you will tell me if I'm doing this

[Music]

right

[Music]

he's got a nice touch doesn't

he lucky

shot you shouldn't have killed him crle

I did what we should have done the

moment he said he wanted out look when

we signed on to do this thing it was to

smuggle Jewels not to kill we're not

murderers you are

now look OT maybe this isn't such a good

idea we're only going to borrow the

money okay just promise me you'll pay it

back wal D you should know I'm

completely honest you wrote the owner's

manual hello this is Automan hello

Automan what can I do for you for you it

seems my friends and I have found

ourselves without cash reserves and I

was wondering if you could arrange a

small loan for us my pleasure

[Music]

on this is crazy Guys somebody is going

to see us M get is all over the

floor

oh that'll

do I can't believe what I just saw you

just asked that machine to loow you

money and it did what do you expect from

an automatic

teller it's your buddy nebish it's a

teet type from inspector Mercer of the

Brighton Isle Police Department he's

just a little bit miffed at your pal

nebish Des spot has promised to coate he

is continuing to conduct an independent

investigation which may well conflict

with our own efforts of

s this is your fault Curtis I never

should have let you talk me into letting

them go come on Captain it was your idea

don't you contradict me

this could turn into an international

incident I want you to take the first

plane over there bring him back here

before he trips over a gun and hurt

[Music]

somebody

[Music]

all

right well hey is everybody happy yeah

good glad to hear it well uh I have an

announcement to make my employer Mr man

has to leave unexpectedly tomorrow

morning and well this is his way of

saying thank you that's right the

champagne's on us along with everyone's

dinner

tonight

take it e of money will you certainly

are a generous man well women as lovely

as you are deserve something more what

did you have in

[Music]

mind what is it about 12

carrots I understand they're a girl's

best

friend they

are next to

you there you are come on let's dance

is that your B his night off thanks for

the diamond Mr Man auto

man look I'm telling you he gave each

one of the girls a diamond and they're

throwing a party they're spending money

like it was going out of

[Music]

style

[Music]

well I don't know how but they must have

found those diamonds search their rooms

[Music]

[Music]

okay

thanks very

[Music]

much seems all this dancing and parting

has depleted my power circuits I'm

afraid I'll don't have to leave you for

a while well before you uh res out on me

have you seen Rock sand wish I could

help you find her but I'm just not

myself right

[Music]

now

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

T watch out

[Music]

so we meet

again

Mercer what happened I was hoping you

could tell

me officer Nea you are under arrest for

murder Mercer you got to believe me I

swear I never saw that guy before in my

life look somebody knocked me

out the next thing I knew I was lying on

the golf course with the murder weapon

in your hand well I know it sounds crazy

but when I make up a story that's stupid

if it wasn't true you do have a point

well then why are you locking me

up we are trying to prevent another

murder

yours consider this protective custody

no wait Mercer come

back useless to

argue but uh I'm I'm innocent so was

I miss

Ferguson time is is running

out consequently so is yours you kill me

you'll never find those

diamonds I may be dead myself tonight if

I don't come up with those

diamonds Let's See How brave you are

when someone else's life is at

stake

[Music]

Jerry

[Music]

[Music]

it's

it's about time where have you been

actually generator I found was quite

stimulating listen we can't waste any

more time you got to get me out of here

break out of jail Walter you designed me

to fight crime not engage in it Otto get

me out of here all right all right don't

make a scene Otto now please all right

you know the

procedure

CA the auto

[Applause]

car look A lot's happened there's been a

murder roxand might be in danger I'll

get us back to the resort as as fast as

I can no no I just escaped from jail I

don't want to draw any more

[Music]

attention step on

[Music]

[Music]

it

I'll see if Roan's in the room you go to

the front desk and see if she left us a

message park it for you sir that won't

be necessary

[Laughter]

cursor Otto I think you should send for

your tailor you're right

Walter cursor

very nice thank you Walter I'll check

for a message from roxan at the front

[Music]

desk

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

Jack it's you yeah obviously you're

expecting somebody else what what are

you doing here well the captain thought

you might be in just a little bit over

your head Walter

Walter I'm here you'll never guess who's

here at Club

10 oh I I see you've already found it

you remember Agent Man from Washington

yeah sure of course you're getting be a

habit isn't

it now don't tell me they got you

working missing persons too when it

involves International Diamond smuggling

yes diamonds what diamonds look I'll

explain everything later first we've got

to find roxan we haven't seen her since

last night come on Otto Dalling maybe

you better leave a message in case she

comes back here good

idea wait a minute what is

it this is the page that was in the

typewriter when we first came in

take a look at the last line right

guests will find that even the most

trivial requests are accommodated by

Club tin Personnel so no asteris I beg

you pardon would you mind explaining

that to me too take a look at the ribbon

here the last characters typed in are a

row of

asteris she's a writer she left the

coded message on the ribbon you're right

Walter she must have typed something

else and then put this sheet back in the

typewriter all we have to do is look at

the imprint left on the ribbon

the letters will be out of sequence they

don't read across they have to be read

vertically in rows of three you forget

Walter I'm fluent in

[Music]

IBM going to ask you just one more

time where are the diamonds don't tell

them Laura it's the only thing that's

keeping you alive that may be so

unfortunately the same can't be said for

you no don't kill

her only you can stop stop and you've

got 3 seconds

1 2 no I'll tell you where are

they they're in the dining hall where in

the dining

[Music]

hall they're in the bottom of the

aquarium the dining hall closes in 20

minutes we can get them

then what do we do with

them to be taken to the other side of

the island there's nothing there but

sheer

Cliffs

exactly t o h QR M and another row of

asterisks somebody please translate just

one moment I'll have it the diamonds are

in the dining hall at the bottom of the

aquarium let's go

Walter you beat the computer what about

roxan no no you two go get the diamonds

I'll see if I can find

roxan

[Music]

hold

it stay where you

are now back up slowly with your hands

[Music]

up don't be

fools we could take these diamonds and

leave this island we could live like

millionaires forever

no deal now tell us where we can find

roxan and

[Music]

Laura the game's over not

quite

[Music]

drop you two have been a thorn to my

side ever since you got here it's going

to be a real pleasure disposing of you

you're finished crle we've called the

police they'll be here any minute and

when they get here I'll they find a

three B

iies

three I'm sorry my darling simple

mathematics a oneway split is much

neater than a two-way split he'll never

get away with it of course I will two

guns with whose fingerprints on them

certainly not mine the police will think

you shot each other yeah but we know

that's not true don't we drop it don't

get cute just drop

it all right you two put your hands on

the

aquarium

if you only I can take it from here

there's no sign of roxan don't worry

we'll find

[Music]

[Music]

her there she goes roxan she's in that

car with another woman I didn't see her

they're on the floor of the back

[Music]

seat please AO don't get us killed

Walter what is death but a sleep into

forgetting a transition from one energy

state to another Cosmic convert shut up

and

[Music]

[Music]

drive it's like we have coveny that's

all we need right now don't worry Walter

we can get a much better view of things

from the

[Music]

there they

[Music]

are what we need is a tree in the road

[Music]

cursor hold on

[Music]

all right let's go

[Music]

girls come

[Music]

on all right that's far enough give me

your car

keys come on it uh pulls a little to the

left when you hit the Brak come on hurry

it

[Music]

up I believe everything's under

control I'll take my leave

now

I didn't know what to do with them so I

put them in here it's almost impossible

to see diamonds when they're immersed in

water smart

girl now if I was smart I never would

have fallen for

Philipe I still can't believe he was a

part of all those people and now he's

he's gone Laura crel and his friends

fooled a lot of people and it was a

pretty neat scheme too they use the rich

clientele of Club 10 to unknowingly do

the smuggling for them but how they have

them carry tennis rackets golf clubs

tennis balls that sort of thing they got

them to carry sports equipment full of

diamonds through customs at airports all

over the world and then rip them off at

the other end and according to inspector

Mercer they'll all be senior citizens by

the time they get out of jail oh Wall-E

in the spirit of police cooperation he

has decided to drop all charges against

you a you know that Mercy he wasn't such

a bad guy provided you're off the island

by noon

tomorrow well I guess that about wraps

it up hey what do you say we get those

diamonds out of the tank huh MH you know

Laura I'm going to hand it to you I mean

that really was a smart place to hide

those diamonds I mean only an idiot

would stick his arm in a tank full of

piranha

[Music]

piran Auto man's all programmed in to

reappear on Bravo screens next Tuesday

at 6:30 and coming next be movie Madness

and Mayhem as Donovan's brain goes