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1
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,658
[Marge] Hustle your bustle, kids, we got to go!
2
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,919
[munching angrily]
3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,755
Our day is packed
with doctor visits.
4
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:18,851
So wrap up your angry food
shoveling and get in the car.
5
00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:22,229
Oh, this is gonna be a long day.
6
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,582
-Oh, I hope so.
-Huh?
7
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:27,601
Don't you get it?
This is a setup.
8
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,604
Mom and Dad told us we're gonna
have the worst day ever,
9
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:35,759
which means we're really
going to have the best day ever.
10
00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:37,852
-Wha...?
-You and I are about to be
11
00:00:37,946 --> 00:00:39,521
the stars of a "Mom-and-Dad
12
00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:43,358
in-car bait-and-switch" video.
-Guh?
13
00:00:43,435 --> 00:00:46,545
[groans] Put down your books
and read a phone sometime.
14
00:00:47,623 --> 00:00:49,956
[mother] You ready to go get
your new braces?
15
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:51,275
Guess so.
16
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:53,110
[mother]
Well, we're not doing that.
17
00:00:53,203 --> 00:00:55,036
We're taking you to Krustyland!
18
00:00:56,373 --> 00:00:58,799
We're not sprinkling
Grandma's ashes today.
19
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,801
We're going to Krustyland!
20
00:01:00,877 --> 00:01:02,710
[both]
Yay!
21
00:01:02,805 --> 00:01:04,621
We're not going to Krustyland.
22
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,623
We're going to church.
23
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,150
[both]
Yay!
24
00:01:10,145 --> 00:01:11,737
So Mom and Dad are punking us,
25
00:01:11,964 --> 00:01:14,147
and this is really gonna be
a fun thing?
26
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:17,484
Exactly,
we are getting funk'd.
27
00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:18,560
[car horn honks]
28
00:01:18,654 --> 00:01:20,195
[both]
Krustyland.
29
00:01:21,231 --> 00:01:24,308
We're almost at
"the medical center."
30
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:28,403
I hope I'm tall enough
to ride the EKG machine.
31
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,922
[both laugh]
32
00:01:29,998 --> 00:01:31,757
[Homer]
We're here.
33
00:01:31,984 --> 00:01:34,668
[laughter]
34
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,836
[Lisa screams]
35
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,837
Wha...?
36
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,156
This is a doctor's office.
37
00:01:39,158 --> 00:01:40,674
There was no bait and switch.
38
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,934
It was all bait!
39
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:43,994
No, no. This is Krustyland.
40
00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:45,162
It has to be.
41
00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:46,980
I'm going on the roller coaster.
42
00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:49,591
Whee!
43
00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:52,277
Whee...ze.
44
00:01:52,429 --> 00:01:54,947
Which doctor
are you here to see?
45
00:01:55,174 --> 00:01:56,840
-All of them.
-Like most Americans,
46
00:01:56,933 --> 00:02:00,786
our insurance is terrible
and has a giant deductible.
47
00:02:01,013 --> 00:02:02,696
Which we just met yesterday.
48
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,623
Thank you, kidney stones.
49
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:05,849
[groans]
50
00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:08,201
And our new insurance year
starts tomorrow.
51
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,704
So today is the only day
that everything's free.
52
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:14,466
So we're doing a whole year
of medical stuff in one day.
53
00:02:14,693 --> 00:02:17,118
Look, I went to
the Krustyland snack bar!
54
00:02:17,212 --> 00:02:19,529
I got 20cc's of
super silly saline.
55
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:22,032
[giggling]
Hey-hey!
56
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:24,551
? It's not about the money, money, money ?
57
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,628
? We don't need your money, money, money ?
58
00:02:26,722 --> 00:02:29,982
? We just want to make the world dance ?
59
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:32,559
? Forget about the price tag ?
60
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,320
? Ain't about the, uh, cha-ching, cha-ching ?
61
00:02:35,397 --> 00:02:39,140
? Ain't about the, yeah, ba-bling, ba-bling ?
62
00:02:39,234 --> 00:02:40,808
? Want to make the world dance ?
63
00:02:40,903 --> 00:02:43,570
? Forget about the price tag ?
64
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:46,573
? It's not about the money, money, money ?
65
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,334
? We don't need your money, money, money ?
66
00:02:49,561 --> 00:02:52,504
? We just want to make the world dance... ?
67
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:55,657
What a productive,
unpleasant day.
68
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:58,919
We've got to get one nice thing
out of this day.
69
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,254
At least take us out for treats.
70
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,756
Treats it is.
71
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,575
We'll even get one for Maggie
for getting her eye test.
72
00:03:05,594 --> 00:03:09,271
? Yeah! ?
73
00:03:11,433 --> 00:03:15,769
One Mandalorian Mango Jango
with 3-CP-Oat milk.
74
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,754
That's $6.99.
75
00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:19,256
[beeps]
76
00:03:19,349 --> 00:03:21,533
Enter your tip and sign here.
77
00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,111
[whimpering]
78
00:03:25,264 --> 00:03:27,597
Oh, fine.
79
00:03:27,691 --> 00:03:29,499
[muttering]
80
00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:34,287
You want a tip?
81
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,048
It's self-serve.
We did all the work.
82
00:03:36,275 --> 00:03:39,134
Hey, that iPad
didn't swivel itself.
83
00:03:41,613 --> 00:03:42,612
[groans]
84
00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,473
[beeping]
85
00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:47,643
-[beeping continues]
-[groans]
86
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,104
[groans]
87
00:03:52,975 --> 00:03:54,641
-[groans]
-[beeping continues]
88
00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:55,642
[panting]
89
00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:57,294
Dad, are you all right?
90
00:03:57,387 --> 00:04:00,480
Oh, I just suffered death
by a thousand swipes,
91
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,283
but at least now
it's time for my treat.
92
00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:08,305
Here's your Literary
Sampler Platter.
93
00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:10,824
Chicken Tenders is the Night,
A Farewell to Parms,
94
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,918
Occurrence at Owl Creek Ribs.
95
00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:17,664
Mmm... fried references.
96
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,240
My shift's ending,
97
00:04:19,334 --> 00:04:20,484
so I'll just leave this
with you.
98
00:04:20,577 --> 00:04:21,668
[groans]
99
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,654
Better get my "figuring out
the tip" glasses.
100
00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:27,749
Wouldn't be a meal if
it didn't end with a math test.
101
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,994
The service fee
is already included?
102
00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:32,345
I'm outraged!
103
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,513
But also relieved.
104
00:04:33,665 --> 00:04:35,274
At least nobody's
leaning over my shoulder
105
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,000
to shame me into leaving a tip.
106
00:04:37,093 --> 00:04:39,185
Actually, there is room
at the bottom
107
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,004
for an additional gratuity.
108
00:04:41,097 --> 00:04:43,198
Right next to
where I pre-thanked you.
109
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:47,511
What? They include the tip,
110
00:04:47,604 --> 00:04:49,846
and then I have to tip
on top of the tip?
111
00:04:49,848 --> 00:04:51,272
A tip top tip?
112
00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:53,625
Mm. I'll show them.
113
00:04:53,852 --> 00:04:56,369
-[clicks]
-I know that click.
114
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,131
"No. Thank you.
115
00:04:59,282 --> 00:05:02,968
Here's one dollar. Okay?"
116
00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:04,469
We're leaving!
117
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:11,701
Mr. Simpson!
Mr. Simpson, wait!
118
00:05:11,703 --> 00:05:13,720
Oh, great.
Here's the part where she says,
119
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,889
"Was there something wrong
with the service?"
120
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,149
And I throw potato skins at her.
121
00:05:17,376 --> 00:05:21,394
Oh, thank you so much,
you wonderful man!
122
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,547
[Marge gasps]
123
00:05:23,681 --> 00:05:26,716
You tipped her $10,000?
124
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:31,071
No! I tipped her one. "O.K."
125
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,573
Ten K! Ah! [laughs]
126
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,242
I've never had this much money
in my life!
127
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:37,485
Us neither.
128
00:05:37,579 --> 00:05:41,322
Yo, this guy just
tipped Sandee $10,000.
129
00:05:41,416 --> 00:05:43,249
You don't know
what this means to me.
130
00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,068
[cries]
131
00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,845
We don't have $10,000.
132
00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:48,922
We don't have 10,000
of anything.
133
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:50,757
Homer, you have to fix this.
134
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:53,093
Okay, you're right.
I got this.
135
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,354
Excuse me,
can I get that check back?
136
00:05:55,581 --> 00:05:56,646
Why?
137
00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,340
[cries] Why?!
138
00:05:59,434 --> 00:06:01,084
-[jeering]
-What a jerk!
139
00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:04,846
Yo, this guy just stole
$10,000 from Sandee.
140
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:06,013
-Get him.
-[grunts]
141
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,273
[grunting]
142
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,701
There was already a gratuity
on the bill.
143
00:06:09,928 --> 00:06:11,536
[grunting]
144
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:15,374
Why? Why did you
want the check back?
145
00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:20,253
So I can underline the $10,000.
146
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,606
[cheering]
147
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:26,200
Yo, this guy just underlined
the $10,000-tip
148
00:06:26,294 --> 00:06:28,461
he gave Sandee, get him!
149
00:06:28,614 --> 00:06:30,263
[cheering, whooping]
150
00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:32,349
[groans]
151
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,122
-[cheering]
-Your accidental tip went viral.
152
00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:40,715
The American dream.
153
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,051
Now we'll be in debt
for the rest of our lives!
154
00:06:44,146 --> 00:06:46,312
The American reality.
155
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:48,740
Look, baby,
no one's madder at me than me,
156
00:06:48,967 --> 00:06:50,316
but me have a plan.
157
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,412
We call the credit card company,
report the card stolen,
158
00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:55,747
and then shave our heads
and join a cult.
159
00:06:55,974 --> 00:06:57,157
One of the ones
where you don't have to
160
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,642
have sex with the leader.
161
00:06:58,660 --> 00:07:00,310
There is no such cult!
162
00:07:00,328 --> 00:07:02,069
You need to go
back to that restaurant
163
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:04,981
and explain that
this was all a mistake.
164
00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,073
I will.
165
00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:07,909
I was gonna go back there anyway
166
00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:11,721
for the bottomless chili fries,
but now I have two reasons.
167
00:07:13,082 --> 00:07:17,102
Okay, time to hit undo
on last night's ten-K typo.
168
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:20,087
Hey, that's the big tip guy.
169
00:07:20,165 --> 00:07:22,089
Ooh! Can I get an autograph?
170
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:24,834
Oh, signing things is
what got me into this mess.
171
00:07:24,928 --> 00:07:26,836
Hey! You're the guy
on the cover
172
00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:28,688
of the only newspaper
left in the world.
173
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,616
[Homer] I'm in the paper
for something I remember doing.
174
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,101
-Let me get a copy.
-That'll be one dollar.
175
00:07:34,196 --> 00:07:36,680
How much do you think
he's gonna tip?
176
00:07:36,773 --> 00:07:38,623
A lot or a whole lot?
177
00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:40,775
Yarr. I'm putting on me slicker,
178
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,462
'cause he's gonna
splash the cash.
179
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,690
Keep the change, pal.
180
00:07:46,692 --> 00:07:47,916
[cheering]
181
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:50,527
The most generous man in town.
182
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:53,138
Until today,
I always felt invisible,
183
00:07:53,365 --> 00:07:54,622
like Wonder Woman's plane
184
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:57,050
or the guy selling flowers
on the off-ramp.
185
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:59,144
But for the first time,
I am seen.
186
00:07:59,221 --> 00:08:01,871
It's not that I wasn't enough,
my tips weren't.
187
00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:06,818
Mr. Monopoly was wrong.
You can put a price on money.
188
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:09,896
From now on,
I'm gonna tip like Ben Affleck
189
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,549
and J.Lo's out of town, baby.
190
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,475
[cheering, whooping]
191
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:17,812
[Quincy Jones'
"Soul Bossa Nova" playing]
192
00:08:17,889 --> 00:08:19,664
? ?
193
00:08:32,738 --> 00:08:34,638
? ?
194
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,859
[music stops]
195
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:48,935
[snaps]
196
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,196
[music resumes]
197
00:09:00,615 --> 00:09:02,749
[humming "Soul Bossa Nova"]
198
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,288
Marge, I just had
the best day of my life.
199
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:12,458
They gave my burrito
the most rice of anybody.
200
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:17,097
So that's why I've been
bombarded by overdraft alerts.
201
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,134
Don't worry, honey,
I can make it all right.
202
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:24,396
Let me show you how to turn off
those notifications.
203
00:09:24,472 --> 00:09:28,266
Homer, we need to have
a serious talk.
204
00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:31,611
Oh, boy, then I'm gonna need
some Mexican courage.
205
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,198
[slurps, gulps]
206
00:09:36,726 --> 00:09:39,077
[sighs] You were supposed to
get our money back,
207
00:09:39,228 --> 00:09:40,745
not give away more.
208
00:09:40,972 --> 00:09:43,807
Your tipping has gotten
out of control.
209
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,809
But it feels so good
to be appreciated.
210
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:47,327
For once,
people aren't judging me
211
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:51,664
by the content of my character
but by the content of my wallet.
212
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,259
You wiped out our savings
and put us in debt.
213
00:09:54,486 --> 00:09:56,669
And look what it's doing
to our children.
214
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,412
Dad, where's my bike?
215
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,824
How would I know? I don't know.
You probably lost it.
216
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,508
Dad...
217
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,010
I tipped it!
218
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,103
I gave it to my barber
219
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,272
because he cleaned up
my eyebrows.
220
00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:10,091
[crying]
I'm so sorry, Bart!
221
00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,193
I'm so sorry.
222
00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:15,839
Oh, there, there.
223
00:10:15,932 --> 00:10:17,115
Dad, you have a problem,
224
00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:20,452
but I love you
and I'll always be here for you.
225
00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:22,028
You're a good son.
226
00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:23,696
Here, for your troubles.
227
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,290
-Hey!
-Let this slide
228
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:27,684
and there's
a vacuum cleaner in it for you.
229
00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,944
Homer, this has to stop now!
230
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:33,039
-Stop it!
-Marge, for once you're right.
231
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,540
I have a serious problem.
232
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,876
But, like any addiction,
it can easily be stopped
233
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,362
by just deciding to stop.
234
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:42,140
I'm going cold turkey.
I swear to you.
235
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:43,867
I'll never again waste money
236
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,645
trying to fill
an unfillable void.
237
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,833
Exact change? Huh. That's it?
238
00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:53,968
Oh, I really want
to tip you, Moe,
239
00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:56,212
but I promised my wife I'd quit.
240
00:10:56,347 --> 00:10:57,563
Here's a thought, Homer.
241
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:59,399
Uh, what if you took the moolah
out of your pocket,
242
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:01,809
but you just stop
before anything happened.
243
00:11:01,903 --> 00:11:04,311
You know, uh,
everything but the tip.
244
00:11:04,406 --> 00:11:07,223
That doesn't seem like
it could lead to anything.
245
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:09,376
Sure it couldn't.
246
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,750
We shouldn't have done that.
247
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:20,178
Does that mean that
you want to stop?
248
00:11:20,405 --> 00:11:21,754
No.
249
00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:23,664
[moaning]
250
00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:25,475
It feels so good.
251
00:11:26,411 --> 00:11:28,335
Don't stop, you generous man.
252
00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:30,021
Oh, yeah,
give it to me, big boy.
253
00:11:30,098 --> 00:11:31,338
-You like that?
-Oh, that's the spot.
254
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:33,249
-I can do this all night.
-Right there.
255
00:11:33,251 --> 00:11:34,434
-Tell me you want it.
-Oh, God!
256
00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,027
-Yes! Yes!
-Oh, God! Oh, God!
257
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:39,114
-Oh, God! Oh, God.
-Yes!
258
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,741
I need a new bar.
259
00:11:42,852 --> 00:11:44,110
[grunts]
Where you going?
260
00:11:44,262 --> 00:11:45,778
I can't stop tipping, Moe.
261
00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:47,263
I'm hooked on the rush.
262
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:49,648
I got a monkey on my back,
and he's got his hand out.
263
00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:51,100
But what about us?
264
00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:54,454
No one service worker
can satisfy my needs.
265
00:11:54,606 --> 00:11:57,632
God help me,
I'm a tip-phomaniac.
266
00:11:58,944 --> 00:12:01,094
[slower version of
"Soul Bossa Nova" playing]
267
00:12:03,631 --> 00:12:04,973
[groaning]
268
00:12:29,565 --> 00:12:31,583
? ?
269
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,634
? ?
270
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:49,917
[crying]
271
00:12:50,011 --> 00:12:52,662
I'm a curse on my family.
272
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,514
They're 20%--
273
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,090
no, 22%--
274
00:12:56,184 --> 00:12:58,485
better off without me.
275
00:12:59,337 --> 00:13:03,239
I'll take my misery to go.
276
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,771
Hey, it's Mr. Generous.
277
00:13:10,865 --> 00:13:12,532
What are you doing here?
278
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,200
I've hit rock bottom
279
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,702
and I need to be with family.
280
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,205
Well, who were those people
you were eating with?
281
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,040
Just my wife and some kids.
282
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:24,785
My real family are
the people I tip, like you.
283
00:13:24,879 --> 00:13:26,787
You love me, right?
284
00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:29,474
Oh, you poor generous man.
285
00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:31,050
I do love you.
286
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,645
You'll always be welcome here.
287
00:13:34,797 --> 00:13:35,730
[moans]
288
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,983
You love me, right?
289
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:41,736
-Creep!
-[shouting]
290
00:13:43,548 --> 00:13:44,614
Leave me alone!
291
00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,733
So our transaction was just...
292
00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:49,994
transactional?
293
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:01,155
[coughing]
294
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,007
Am I alive? Is this a dream?
295
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:04,734
Somebody pinch me.
296
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,235
Ow!
297
00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:08,513
I'm awake, you can stop now.
298
00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:14,577
You saved my life.
299
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:16,020
Here's a little something
for your troubles.
300
00:14:16,247 --> 00:14:17,671
Why you give me this money?
301
00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:19,582
Fausto no work for crab man.
302
00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:20,766
No, it's a tip.
303
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,418
It's all I know.
304
00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:24,345
And it's destroyed
my marriage and my life.
305
00:14:24,439 --> 00:14:28,441
How I wish I had never heard
of thanking people.
306
00:14:28,593 --> 00:14:29,926
Well, your bloated body
307
00:14:29,944 --> 00:14:31,685
drifted to the right
neighborhood, my friend.
308
00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:33,096
Nobody tips here.
309
00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,597
It's forbidden.
310
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:35,689
No tipping?
311
00:14:35,783 --> 00:14:37,617
What is this amazing place?
312
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,693
Welcome to Little Europe.
313
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,754
? ?
314
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:44,607
I'm home.
315
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,533
Yi yo yu.
316
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:49,946
There's no sign
of Homer anywhere.
317
00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:52,206
Okay, the first 24 hours
are crucial.
318
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,601
Do you have a recent photo?
319
00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:57,896
Not him. You.
320
00:14:58,123 --> 00:15:00,047
For your dating profile.
321
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,807
-[camera clicks]
-This is good.
322
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,126
You look desperate.
323
00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:04,551
Guys love that.
324
00:15:04,646 --> 00:15:05,737
I don't want to date.
325
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:07,554
I want to find my husband.
326
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:09,556
"Marriage minded."
327
00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:10,967
Don't mention the kids.
328
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:13,152
Bring them up on date three.
[chuckles]
329
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,580
Just before the sex.
330
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:16,973
Oh, my God.
331
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:18,899
We only have two
and a half dates to find Dad.
332
00:15:18,993 --> 00:15:20,585
At least we know he's alive.
333
00:15:20,812 --> 00:15:22,569
He's ordering things on Amazon.
334
00:15:22,664 --> 00:15:24,497
A universal power adapter.
335
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,982
Bicycle pants clips.
336
00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:27,926
12-pack of fanny packs?
337
00:15:28,153 --> 00:15:30,595
Case of cologne, but no soap.
338
00:15:30,672 --> 00:15:33,414
I know exactly where he is.
339
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,516
[humming]
340
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,602
Dad?
341
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:39,011
Hola, mes petite--
342
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,496
how you say?-- children.
343
00:15:40,589 --> 00:15:43,274
Give your papi
a European handshake.
344
00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:45,835
[smooching]
345
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,946
What are you doing
in Little Europe?
346
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:49,596
I'm going
to five different shops
347
00:15:49,691 --> 00:15:52,659
to get the ingredients
to make one sandwich.
348
00:15:54,362 --> 00:15:57,622
One smear of
your brownest mustard, Jorge.
349
00:16:03,688 --> 00:16:06,631
That'll be three deutsche-lira
and 99 pence.
350
00:16:06,858 --> 00:16:08,691
And not a franc more.
351
00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:09,968
Mom's a total mess.
352
00:16:10,195 --> 00:16:11,469
You've got to come home.
353
00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:12,971
This is my home now.
354
00:16:13,198 --> 00:16:14,530
I can live a happy life here,
355
00:16:14,623 --> 00:16:16,975
free from the demon
of generosity.
356
00:16:17,202 --> 00:16:18,534
So this is all about tipping?
357
00:16:18,627 --> 00:16:21,387
No, it's about
the European mindset
358
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,981
of not tipping.
359
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,234
? ?
360
00:16:51,494 --> 00:16:53,261
? Let's look, can't you see? ?
361
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,059
? That's money ?
362
00:17:35,538 --> 00:17:37,096
? That's Bart ?
363
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:41,059
? That's fair ?
364
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,641
Dad, this place is amazing.
365
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,401
I know.
366
00:17:50,628 --> 00:17:52,904
If only Springfield
was like this,
367
00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:54,405
then I could go back to your mom
368
00:17:54,632 --> 00:17:57,742
without my addiction
destroying the family.
369
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,138
Dad, if you came back with us,
370
00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:03,806
you could change things.
371
00:18:03,899 --> 00:18:07,476
You could inspire everyone
to make Springfield like here.
372
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:10,237
You really think Americans
can learn something
373
00:18:10,331 --> 00:18:12,256
from the country of Europe?
374
00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:14,759
Not just learn it, but steal it
and call it our own.
375
00:18:14,986 --> 00:18:16,986
Like pizza or fascism.
376
00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:19,171
I'll do it to heal our family.
377
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,099
Let's grab an early dinner
at 10:00 p.m.,
378
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,992
then ride the mini-Chunnel
back to Springfield.
379
00:18:23,085 --> 00:18:25,177
I'm going to take my message
to the people
380
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,480
who tipping affects the most.
381
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,109
[announcer]
Live from the Servers Of America Guild Theater.
382
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:34,353
It's the 75th Annual SAG Awards.
383
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,504
[cheering]
384
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:40,301
Hello, my name is Gary, and I'll
be your presenter this evening.
385
00:18:40,378 --> 00:18:41,527
-[grunts]
-Friends,
386
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,103
waiters, pepper-grinders,
387
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:44,847
lend me your ears.
388
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,682
My name is Homer Simpson
389
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,851
and I am addicted to tipping.
390
00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:50,519
It was a compulsion so powerful
391
00:18:50,613 --> 00:18:53,297
that I ran away
from the woman I love.
392
00:18:54,692 --> 00:18:57,376
Well, I'm here to tell you
there's a better way.
393
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:01,364
What if all restaurant workers
were paid a living wage?
394
00:19:01,382 --> 00:19:03,307
That way you wouldn't have
to rely on tips,
395
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:06,811
and diners would know
how much everything costs.
396
00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:09,480
Get rid of tips
and live a better life.
397
00:19:09,707 --> 00:19:10,982
Who's with me?
398
00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,391
[cheering]
399
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:15,060
My fellow wait-staff,
this man is right.
400
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:18,714
We can, we shall, we must,
401
00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,774
serve justice
402
00:19:20,885 --> 00:19:23,068
with a side of equanimity.
403
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,145
No substitutions.
404
00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:26,906
[audience cheering]
405
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,750
? ?
406
00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:36,916
Get rid of tips
and live a better life.
407
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,659
Who's with me?
408
00:19:38,736 --> 00:19:40,920
[booing]
409
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:42,421
Get rid of tips?
410
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,165
Well, that's how I decide
whose food not to spit in.
411
00:19:45,259 --> 00:19:47,243
This is the worst idea
in our industry
412
00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:49,020
since tableside guacamole.
413
00:19:49,096 --> 00:19:52,023
Yo! The guy
who tipped Sandee $10,000
414
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:54,767
is trying to take away
our tips. Get him!
415
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,695
[Homer grunting]
416
00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,363
This time it's happening
for real!
417
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:01,490
[grunting]
418
00:20:02,851 --> 00:20:05,094
I can't believe
I didn't fundamentally change
419
00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:08,097
the service economy
with one awards show speech.
420
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:10,783
Oh, Homie,
I know it's hard for you
421
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,118
to be generous, but you tried.
422
00:20:13,271 --> 00:20:15,028
And I'm not going
to hold it against you
423
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,697
for taking it too far.
424
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:26,098
our money problems and confront
your addiction to tipping.
425
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,118
Hello, my name is Homer.
426
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,287
And I'll be your server tonight.
427
00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,805
Would you like
still or sparkling water?
428
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,214
Just tap.
429
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:35,733
And more free bread.
430
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,401
[groans] Oh...
431
00:20:37,628 --> 00:20:39,295
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
432
00:20:39,388 --> 00:20:40,887
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
433
00:20:40,982 --> 00:20:42,406
and TOYOTA.
434
00:20:42,633 --> 00:20:44,742
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
435
00:20:49,323 --> 00:20:51,640
? Little E.U., Little E.U. ?
436
00:20:51,642 --> 00:20:53,976
? Little E.U. is the place to be in the party now ?
437
00:20:54,069 --> 00:20:56,754
? Flat price ?
438
00:20:56,831 --> 00:20:58,923
? I'm sane, so sane ?
439
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:00,983
? Sir, can't you see? ?
440
00:21:01,076 --> 00:21:02,260
? Let's look, can't you see? ?
441
00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:05,004
? Our health care is free ?
442
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,173
? And they pay us enough ?
443
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,341
? That's money! ?
444
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,344
? To just hand you your stuff ?
445
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,104
? That stuff ?
446
00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:15,106
? Lots of stuff ?
447
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:18,091
? Don't give us more math to do, math to do ?
448
00:21:18,185 --> 00:21:20,111
? Let's go! ?
449
00:21:20,338 --> 00:21:22,929
? The printed price is all that's due ?
31483
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