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1
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,849
Yes. Uh-huh.
2
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,365
I'm not kidding.
3
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,729
That's where this
"class act" brought me.
4
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,804
Yeah, you heard me. Hooters.
5
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,850
This is the first date I've
been on since the divorce...
6
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,924
...and the guy brings
me to a Hooters.
7
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,450
Is Tyler asleep?
8
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,762
Oh, yeah! Whoo!
9
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,321
- Not all the way.
- What's he doing?
10
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:56,086
This T-shirt's on fire!
11
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,086
Why is he singing that?
12
00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,601
Must save planet Earth.
13
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,801
No, It's all good.
14
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,604
- It's out.
- What's out?
15
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,091
Oh, God, I'm coming home.
16
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,605
Intruder alert.
17
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,280
Yeah, maybe that's not
actually a bad idea.
18
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,410
Okay, here's the plan, You're
gonna call me in 10 minutes...
19
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,450
...so that I can tell this
dope I have an emergency.
20
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,086
Can you give me my bath now?
21
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,604
Make it five minutes.
22
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,008
Got you, uh, Buffalo shrimp
with the sauce on the side.
23
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,528
They'll do that for me here.
I didn't know how you took it so...
24
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,885
You realize that you're not actually
looking at my face right now.
25
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,646
Very tight game going on there.
I don't wanna miss it.
26
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,885
You gotta really swing the
ax hard to get those, uh, hits in deep.
27
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,250
- Hi, Jim.
- Hey, Jim.
28
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,561
Hey, Jim.
29
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,246
Cheese sticks in the
shape of a heart.
30
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,370
From me, Bunny,
Bethany and Britney.
31
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,206
Thank you, Bubbles.
That's very nice.
32
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,329
- Have fun.
- See you.
33
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,925
All right.
34
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,165
Hey, I noticed that you made
eye contact with Boobies...
35
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,085
...but I'm not sure it was her
eyes you were looking at.
36
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:51,244
So you organize
closets for a living.
37
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:52,601
Yes.
38
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:57,561
Is it hard to find people who can't organize
their own closets? How does that work?
39
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,087
Well, it's not that they
can't do it for themselves.
40
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,602
It's that they don't have the time
or they don't do it efficiently.
41
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,161
Did you start with organizing
glove compartments...
42
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,448
...and just work your way
up from there or...?
43
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:15,970
Listen, I'm sorry. I know this
is not going well. I, heh...
44
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,561
I haven't been on a
date in 20 years.
45
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,961
I haven't been on a
date since senior year.
46
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,929
You get married in college?
47
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,887
- Yep.
- Me too.
48
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,651
- Really?
- Yes.
49
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,371
Is this not the weirdest feeling
in the world right now?
50
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,882
Like Weird Al starring
in Weird Science.
51
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,647
Yes. I like that. You
just came up with that?
52
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,680
Yes.
53
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,330
Very good.
54
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:49,210
You know, I think I will have
one of these Buffalo shrimp.
55
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,010
And I'll have it with the sauce.
56
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,447
Excellent.
57
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,001
Oh, my God.
58
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,685
Oh.
59
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,284
- It's hot.
- Oh, my God. Who makes sauce this hot?
60
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:05,646
I just...
61
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,450
Did you drink my beer?
62
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,005
No. No, no. I think you did.
63
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,162
Boobies! Buddy! Britney!
64
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,767
- Can you get me some water?
- Here. Have some French onion soup.
65
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,968
You know, I'm curious.
66
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,009
With so many possible reasons...
67
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,409
...which one's the one
your wife left you for?
68
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,290
Cancer.
69
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,204
I'm sorry. I...
70
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,042
...naturally just assumed
you were divorced.
71
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,045
It's okay.
72
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,771
I naturally assumed your
husband shot himself.
73
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,729
So we're even.
74
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,964
I gotta take this.
75
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,491
Hello.
76
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,564
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down!
77
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,326
An avalanche in our backyard?
78
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,244
I'll be home right away.
79
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,368
It's an emergency. I'm sorry.
80
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,327
Twenty dollars should
cover my half.
81
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,727
He used the
emergency excuse on you?
82
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,400
Like he's the one
that had to escape.
83
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,040
- Like I'm so horrible.
- Huh.
84
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,807
Well, everybody has a bad blind-date
story and this loser is yours.
85
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,291
Who set you up?
86
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,681
One of the mothers
in Tyler's class.
87
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:34,401
Every time I see her she tells
me about her "friend Jim."
88
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,331
And, "Oh, I just
have to meet Jim."
89
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,443
Well, she's a liar and an idiot.
90
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,648
You should roofie her
and shave her head.
91
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,042
Dick? Hi.
92
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,771
- No, I can talk. I'm just at work.
- Great.
93
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,002
Ha, ha. I know. I'm so sore.
94
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,284
I L word you too.
95
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,567
Okay. Talk to you later. Bye.
96
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,282
Did you just use the
L word with Dick?
97
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,044
We said it last night.
98
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,647
Jen! That's great!
Why didn't you tell me?
99
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,486
Well, you know. You finally went
on a date and it was so awful.
100
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,928
I didn't want to make you feel lonelier
than you probably already feel.
101
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,401
I'm fine, actually.
And I'm not lonely.
102
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,006
I have two wonderful
men in my life,
103
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,764
Brendan and Tyler.
104
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,885
Brendan needs a girlfriend
and Tyler needs Ritalin.
105
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,648
You're suggesting sex and drugs as a
remedy for my children's behavior.
106
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,646
Aah. Oh, my God. This is the
dress I've been wanting forever.
107
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,926
Ooh.
108
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,321
What? No.
109
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,091
- Who has that kind of money?
- Dick.
110
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,607
Try this on. This is
a total MILF dress.
111
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,009
We don't try on the clients' clothes.
It's one of our selling points.
112
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,847
"We won't wear your underwear while
we're organizing your closets."
113
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,081
I'm just saying.
114
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:58,841
Back to work.
115
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,403
I think right at the bottom of this rack,
we could fit some more shoes and storage...
116
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:04,686
Jen!
117
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:07,969
Kanye, come and change the baby.
118
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,488
North is wet and I don't wanna
drop her on camera again.
119
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,650
Okay. Take it off.
120
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,122
No! Look, this whole rack
still has the price tags on.
121
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:23,205
Technically, she hasn't taken ownership
yet. And besides, she's at the tennis club.
122
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,044
Now, try this on.
123
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,488
This dress can change a woman
from the kind a man cheats on...
124
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,449
...to the kind a
man cheats with.
125
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,811
I'm gonna go pee.
126
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,370
Expensive. Expensive.
127
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,449
Ooh, most expensive.
128
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,046
Wow. I didn't know you were
gonna look that good in it.
129
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,246
Oh, honey, what's wrong?
130
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,602
I should have tried harder.
131
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,730
I should have dressed sexier.
132
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,003
You didn't do anything wrong.
Mark is a pig.
133
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,409
But the kids don't know that.
134
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,006
Agh. They just...
135
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,688
They want us to get
back together.
136
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,002
And I don't know how
to explain it to them.
137
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,960
Well, it's time for them to learn
that their dad is a big pile of crap.
138
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,364
I get so depressed I need
to wear high, sexy heels.
139
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,841
- Stop jogging.
- It helps.
140
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,930
It's freaking me out.
141
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,447
Look at me. I'm ridiculous.
142
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,046
Come here. Come here.
143
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,128
- Jen's got you.
- Now I see why they call you "Closet Queens."
144
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,649
- Instagram.
- Facebook.
145
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:48,961
- Yes!
- Yes!
146
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,087
It was awful, man.
There was no connection at all.
147
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,891
I was so happy when you came
up with the avalanche thing.
148
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,644
- That saved my life.
- Ha-ha-ha.
149
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,009
And the way she dressed was like an
assistant principal or something.
150
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,650
I felt like I was in detention.
151
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,449
- I got a girl for you.
- Yeah?
152
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,648
Blond lady. From my
belly-dancing class.
153
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,645
A little bit on the plus size.
154
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,963
But when she gets to moving, all
that flapping can make it happen.
155
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,441
- No good.
- That big girl would hit that Hooters...
156
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,525
...like a hurricane. Agh! Chicken.
Steak. Fries. And a Diet Coke.
157
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,680
- All right! Gotcha!
- Ha-ha-ha.
158
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,208
I'm out, man. No
more dating for me.
159
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,647
It's time and money I should
be spending with my kids.
160
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,609
Look who it is.
161
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,610
Hey, Larry!
162
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,410
My all-star! Give me some.
163
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,245
It's Hilary, Dad,
which is bad enough.
164
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:37,971
You gonna leave me hanging?
165
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,451
Boom. Guess what?
166
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,449
The new Kodiak tents
just arrived.
167
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,130
In time for spring break.
168
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,125
We're going camping in our
back yard again this year?
169
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,691
Why? You too old for that?
170
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,890
No. It's just some kids in my
class are going to Florida...
171
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,123
...or to Colorado or
even Switzerland.
172
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,967
You got a lot of rich
kids in your school.
173
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,727
- We don't got that kind of money.
- I know. It'd just be nice to go someplace.
174
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,000
You know where you could
take her that's cheap?
175
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,162
My belly-dancing class.
176
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,682
Oh. Put that away. Seriously.
177
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,322
Excuse me, sir? I'm here to
pick up my basketball uniform.
178
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,130
Did you just call me "sir"?
179
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,484
- Yeah.
- I'm a girl.
180
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,724
That's one fugly girl.
181
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,370
Hey, man, that's his daughter.
182
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,925
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
183
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,570
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- MM.
184
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,042
Hey, honey, how's
the math homework coming?
185
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,163
Are any of the tutor's
shortcuts helping?
186
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,406
Did you go on a date?
187
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,331
A date? Who told you
I went on a date?
188
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,689
You should really change your e-mail
password, little Miss 072099.
189
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,405
That is the last time I use
your birthday as a password.
190
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:53,006
I can't believe you
read my e-mails.
191
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,844
Brendan, I love you...
192
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,482
...but we have to learn to respect
each other's privacy in this house.
193
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,406
Who's Jim?
194
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,643
Nobody, honey. A buffoon.
195
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,280
Trust me. It was nothing.
196
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,647
- You promise?
- Promise.
197
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,402
Hey! No wheels in the house!
198
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,050
- I've told you this!
- Aah!
199
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,611
Tackle him, Mom! Get him!
200
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,081
Did your dad take you for
ice cream on the way home?
201
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,282
- Spank him!
- Rocky Road and mint chocolate chip!
202
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,400
- Take him to the ground!
- I'm on top of the world! Goose, goose!
203
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,843
- Yeah.
- You're dead!
204
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,241
No more titty
twisters, guys!
205
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,006
You only have two titties
for the rest of your lives!
206
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,970
We need to learn to
love and respect them.
207
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,567
I always did.
208
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:38,964
How many times
have I told you...
209
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,283
...not to pump him full of
sugar before you drop him off?
210
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,011
Oh, come on. Going out with
Dad for an ice cream cone...
211
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,730
...is a lasting
memory for a kid.
212
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,282
Oh, okay. Well, if Dad
spent more time with him...
213
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,125
...then the memories wouldn't
have to be so "lasting."
214
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,089
Boom, zing. Got me again.
215
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,971
It's so great spending
time with you, Lauren.
216
00:11:58,640 --> 00:11:59,766
That doesn't go there.
217
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,526
What are we gonna do?
218
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:07,162
Oh. Oh, man! It's gonna
explode in 3, 2...
219
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,321
Oh, thank God.
220
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,881
That was close. It was almost
unorganized for a minute.
221
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,810
- Hi.
- How are you?
222
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,287
Good. Are you going to
Tyler's game on Saturday?
223
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,171
- Yes! Of course!
- Great. I'm putting you down.
224
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,329
It's what you do best.
225
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,370
On the board, Mark.
On the board.
226
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,803
Lauren, the boys don't need a board.
They don't need a list.
227
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,640
The know they can count on me.
That's it.
228
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,768
Dad, can you help
me with my homework?
229
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,720
Oh, I can't, bud! Sorry! I gotta
go to a thing! Ask your mom!
230
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,848
This is not an example
of my behavior.
231
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,806
Did you leave?
232
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:52,287
♪ No, oh, oh I'll ♪
♪ never be that girl again. ♪
233
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,090
♪ No, oh, oh. ♪
234
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,210
♪ My innocence is wearin' thin. ♪
235
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,284
♪ But my heart is growin' strong. ♪
236
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:05,606
♪ So call me, call me, call me. ♪
237
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:10,800
♪ Miss movin' on Oh, oh, oh. ♪
238
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,408
- Larry, wanna shoot some hoops?
- Dad!
239
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,567
- Oh!
- Aah!
240
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,131
- Stop! Get out!
- Oh!
241
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,845
Why wouldn't you knock?
242
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,968
I'm sorry, honey!
I didn't see anything!
243
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,849
Oh, thanks a lot!
244
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,331
No, no, no!
245
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,687
There was plenty
of stuff to see!
246
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:33,887
Uh...
247
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,004
I mean, I didn't see
any gelling going on!
248
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,082
- How about a fist bump?
- No!
249
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,210
Larry, we both need
this fist bump.
250
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,290
We're cool.
251
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,128
Hey, how we doing in here?
252
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,606
I'm talking to Mom.
253
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,440
Great. What are you
guys talking about?
254
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,924
It's girl stuff.
255
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,728
Okay. Well, just so you know, I'm
pretty good with girl stuff too.
256
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,245
Excuse me for a second.
257
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,169
Thanks, Dad.
258
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,084
But I just wanna talk to Mom.
259
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,161
Sure, sure.
260
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,731
Say hi for me.
261
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,289
I'm all out of stickers.
262
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,728
You're all out of face.
What happened to you? Ugh.
263
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,564
Can I play with Espn now?
264
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,922
Espn is having her quiet time.
265
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,245
Oh.
With Invincible Mommy?
266
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,011
"Invisible." Yes.
267
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,847
It's not fair
only Espn gets to see her.
268
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,286
I know.
269
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,090
I wish I could see her.
270
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,566
Me too.
271
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,801
Come here. MM.
272
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,562
Eh, eh?
273
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,321
Mac and cheese?
274
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:05,970
- Mac and cheese.
- Yeah!
275
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,447
I mean, he's looking around here.
Looking for you.
276
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,530
You knew it was today.
I published the calendar.
277
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:23,162
Laur, the meeting went longer than
expected. What do you want from me?
278
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:27,211
You know what? I just want you to be a dad!
I can't take it!
279
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,847
Why don't you hop over to the snack
bar, see if they sell any chill pills.
280
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,289
"Chill pills"? Why don't you
"bust a move" back to 1990.
281
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,689
You're at a baseball game?
282
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,362
I'm going on a mystery
trip with Dick.
283
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,521
That's so great.
284
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,331
I have no idea where we're going.
He's so much fun.
285
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,891
I'm so excited!
286
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,844
Now batting, number
23, Tyler Reynolds.
287
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,409
Okay! Come on! Go Tyler! Whoo!
288
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,006
- Come on, Tyler!
- They're putting this kid in?
289
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,970
League rule. Every kid
has to play two innings.
290
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,326
Even kids like him.
291
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,802
- You shut your piehole.
- I'll kick your ass!
292
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,521
- Or I'll stuff my entire fist in your mouth!
- Burt Reynolds scrawny reject!
293
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,890
Hey, how old is that pitcher?
He looks like a NASCAR driver.
294
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,209
- Strike!
- Come on!
295
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,091
It's okay, buddy! Shake it off!
It's okay!
296
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,005
Oh, no. He's not gonna have
one of his meltdowns, is he?
297
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,970
No. He has two more swings.
It's gonna be okay.
298
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,249
Okay. I better go now, then. Oh,
by the way, I need a week off.
299
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,243
Oh, yeah, sure.
When's the vacation?
300
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,765
Two weeks from today.
301
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,764
Wait. No. That's not gonna work.
302
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,049
Because that's spring break and
I've gotta take care of the boys.
303
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,047
- Strike two!
- Why?
304
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,043
It's okay, cutie, you got this!
305
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,163
Check out what happens
when this kid strikes out.
306
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,763
- You have been warned, Ratso!
- One more comment and it is go time!
307
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,922
- I will crush you!
- So checkity check it!
308
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,926
I thought Mark was taking the
kids whitewater rafting.
309
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,724
Oh, shocker. He canceled.
310
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,291
Business trip.
311
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,967
Now I'm racking my brain trying to
figure out how to compete with that.
312
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,690
You won't. There's no time.
313
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,763
And why should we
both stay at home?
314
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,089
You are the bestest
business partner ever. Heh.
315
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,368
- Strike three!
- I hate this!
316
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,443
I hate this! I hate this!
I suck!
317
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,726
No.
318
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,881
Oh, boy. Here we go again.
319
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,247
Oh, God.
320
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,284
Maybe you should try badminton.
321
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,125
- Maybe you should try mouthwash!
- And deodorant!
322
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,290
- And some testosterone supplement!
- And some Cialis!
323
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,090
I'm just assuming!
324
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,842
And shave your neck!
325
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,205
It's very hairy.
326
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:47,921
God.
327
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,006
What?
328
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,045
Ugh.
329
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:54,961
No.
330
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,291
Damn it.
331
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,883
Rip that little loop off the back
of your shirt. And Step Three...
332
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,649
- Daddy?
- Yes.
333
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,451
What do you miss about Mommy?
334
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,244
What do I miss about Mommy?
335
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,605
Hmm.
336
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,047
Everything.
337
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,051
I miss her laugh.
338
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,045
And her smile.
339
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,082
And I miss her little nose
that she gave to you.
340
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,766
Luckily you didn't get mine.
You'd look very weird.
341
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,888
- Heh.
- Yeah.
342
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,761
I miss every time The
Wizard of Oz was on.
343
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,442
- I love that movie.
- I know.
344
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,443
She would sing all
the songs to us.
345
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,365
Especially "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow."
346
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,407
You know what I miss
most about her?
347
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,365
What?
348
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,646
Getting to tell her
how much I love her.
349
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,170
Are you allowed to do
that with anyone else?
350
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,848
Am I allowed?
351
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,683
Your mother, before she left...
352
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,602
...that's all she would talk about,
was me finding somebody else.
353
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,965
But I would tell her I can't
because she's my one and only.
354
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,444
What did Mommy say?
355
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,009
Your mom would say...
356
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:33,967
...my heart is so big
that it has room for two.
357
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,209
That's another thing I
miss about your mother.
358
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,604
She actually thought
I was awesome.
359
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,802
I think you're awesome, Daddy.
360
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:49,367
Thank you.
361
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,124
Hey, Dad? Um...
362
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,841
I have a personal errand to run,
and I need to borrow the car.
363
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,843
Well, you can't drive
without me yet...
364
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,571
...and somebody's got to
stay here with your sisters.
365
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,963
Dad, I have a personal errand.
366
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,522
What does that even mean? You
taking a hit out on somebody?
367
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,331
Dad, she's monsterating.
368
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,804
- What?
- I have my period!
369
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,004
Oh. I forgot you get those.
370
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,169
"Tampax Pearls."
371
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,684
Douches. "Fresh Scent."
372
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,963
"Medicated" and "Sweet Romance."
373
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,489
Yeah, let's not be doing the
Sweet Romance douches quite yet.
374
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,362
"Poise Feminine Wash."
375
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,207
"Poise"? That's a
little close, guys.
376
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,365
"Always Clean"?
377
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,646
I could actually use those.
Uh...
378
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,730
What's a Diva Cup?
Is that to make coffee?
379
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,770
I don't under...
380
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,409
What kind do you guys use?
381
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,730
Huh.
382
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,160
- No!
- Hi.
383
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,445
Don't tell me.
384
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,924
- Lauren.
- Lauren.
385
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,850
Mr. Hooters.
386
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,326
Jim.
387
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,763
What's going on in the sweater?
Just for the articles?
388
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:27,602
No. These, um, actually
are for my son.
389
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,771
Wow. What a progressive mother.
390
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:36,444
No. I found a centerfold under
his bed, and I tore it up.
391
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,366
From a magazine,
not the Internet?
392
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,568
He's old school.
I respect that.
393
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,085
Why'd you tear it up?
394
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,800
Because as a woman
I was totally offended.
395
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,045
You don't have to be. It's a
normal part of growing up.
396
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:55,244
Okay, but he taped a picture of
our babysitter's face on it.
397
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,370
Okay, that's sick.
He needs help.
398
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,210
Borderline Dahmer situation.
399
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,250
Oh, very funny. Okay, but if you
had kids you'd understand...
400
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,602
- Three daughters.
- ...it's complicated.
401
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,445
You have three daughters?
402
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,571
Yes. Do you have any other
children, or just the masturbator?
403
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,049
He has a younger brother.
404
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,402
Uh-huh. Maybe you'll do a
better job with that kid.
405
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,000
I'm just joking. So what, you're here
to replace it before the kid finds out?
406
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,690
Yes. But I can't tell what
magazine it's from. I just...
407
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,167
Do you have any of the
centerfold remnants?
408
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,571
Yes, I do.
409
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,246
I, um... I tried to
tape it back up.
410
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,402
Did a great job. You
can hardly tell.
411
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,764
Snapper magazine.
412
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:46,967
How can you tell?
413
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:50,124
From the staple placement and
the way the paper feels...
414
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,529
...and I already have this copy at home.
How about a fist bump? Huh?
415
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,490
Ah.
416
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,930
- Yep, that's the one.
- Great.
417
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,525
Excuse me. Actually, I thought of
something that might help us both...
418
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,047
...to save us some
embarrassment.
419
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,807
How about I bring that up to the
cashier, and you bring this up for me.
420
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,007
- Whoa. Are these for your daughter?
- Yeah. She's 15.
421
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,731
And her "friend"
just paid a visit.
422
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,246
Okay. Well, these are for
a much older "friend."
423
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,485
A much heavier "friend" staying
in a much bigger "room"...
424
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,529
...than your daughter has.
425
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:29,850
You lost me.
426
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,365
You found me. Oh.
427
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,648
- Can I get a bump?
- No.
428
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,370
No.
429
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,483
Okay. So you will do this.
430
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:40,846
That'll be $13.
431
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,565
Hi, I'm Tom.
432
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,040
- Here's your change.
- Hi, I'm Tom.
433
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,488
Yeah, you told me. Next.
434
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,485
Oh.
435
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,041
I remember the Slender Fit days.
436
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,884
You must be doing your Kegels.
437
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,603
Nowadays, I need six of
these taped together.
438
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,685
Okay. Moving on.
439
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,729
And we got...
440
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,881
...that and card.
441
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,048
Rockin' Saturday
night, huh, Lefty?
442
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,965
Oh, that's not mine.
That's for her kid.
443
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,529
Ooh, pretty progressive mom.
444
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,364
- Yeah. That's what I said to her too.
- Why would you do that?
445
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,649
- I'm sorry. I'll get you out of it.
- What is wrong with you?
446
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,282
She just takes her homeschooling
real serious, so that's why...
447
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,886
We get those back?
448
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:33,966
She's gotta get home to the
kid and get him going.
449
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,207
- Take care.
- Yeah.
450
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,370
Hi, I'm Tom.
451
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,964
Ugh, thanks a lot for
selling me out back there.
452
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,849
Oh, she didn't
even hear about...
453
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,480
- I panicked. I'm sorry. Here.
- Oh, I noticed.
454
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:48,641
Thank you.
455
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,929
I can't believe you
have three girls.
456
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:56,120
- What does that even mean?
- I just can't imagine you with three girls.
457
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:57,321
Don't, then.
458
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,127
I'm sorry. What are their names?
459
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,371
Hilary, Lou and Espn.
460
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,327
- "Espin." That's unique.
- MM-hm.
461
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,641
Is it Biblical?
462
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,563
No. Named after my
favorite network.
463
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,326
ESPN.
464
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,084
- No.
- Yep.
465
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,844
- What?
- Heh.
466
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,081
Pretty cool.
467
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,890
Oh, my God.
468
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,691
Your wife must
have been a saint.
469
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,841
She was.
470
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,368
Your husband must have been
very patient dealing with...
471
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,691
Ah.
472
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:42,925
Another charming sentiment
from Captain Cheese Sticks.
473
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:46,283
You know what? Hooters is too good for you.
I'd never bring you there again.
474
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,331
Well, then I guess I'll just have to learn
to get through life without Hooters.
475
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,051
You've been doing a pretty
damn good job so far!
476
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,401
- That doesn't make any sense.
- I didn't realize they were that big.
477
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,683
Oh, whatever.
478
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,884
Guys, unfortunately your dad had
a business trip that came up...
479
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,931
...so your whitewater rafting trip is
gonna get postponed till this summer.
480
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,646
- What?
- We're stuck here doing nothing all week?
481
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,565
I have plans. I have
great plans actually.
482
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,610
Like what? Bowling and
going to the mall?
483
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,047
How did you know?
484
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,091
- Bet that's Dad!
- Maybe he'll take us on his business trip!
485
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,291
- Oh, hey. Is your mom home?
- What do you mean "Is your mom home"?
486
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,761
- Who are you?
- I'm Jim.
487
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,886
Jim? Jim66@DSG.Com?
488
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,005
What is this, Dateline NBC?
Yes, you got it right.
489
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,447
- What do you want?
- I need to talk to your mother.
490
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,285
- Not a big deal.
- She said she's not interested in you.
491
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,445
Believe me, Frodo, I don't like her either.
I have to sort something out with her.
492
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,763
- Brendan, honey, who's at the...?
- Hey.
493
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,690
- Jim.
- You lied! Liar! You like him!
494
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,446
What? I didn't lie, honey.
He's a buffoon.
495
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,495
- Just like I said.
- Don't talk to me!
496
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,601
Ever!
497
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,445
No, sweetie, come on.
498
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,047
- What?
- Great.
499
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,089
Which one was the masturbator?
The big one?
500
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,641
Why are you here?
What do you want?
501
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,280
The old bag at the pharmacy
mixed up our cards.
502
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,091
That's impossible because I
keep my cards very organized.
503
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,810
I keep them in
color-coded sleeves...
504
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,407
All right, I'll give this back to
whoever it belongs to. Lauren Reynolds.
505
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,484
- You know her? Have you met her?
- Oh.
506
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:45,970
God, I don't know what's wrong with me
lately. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
507
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,686
Just come in.
508
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,286
So wait. How do you
know where I live?
509
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,887
I Googled you and "Closet
Queens" came up.
510
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,004
- You're a lesbian?
- No.
511
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:03,168
We organize "closets" and we're
the best, so we're "queens."
512
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,481
"Closet Queens."
513
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,247
Maybe the picture
was confusing me.
514
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:08,841
What picture?
515
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,322
Ugh, those
little weasels.
516
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,046
Your girlfriend, like, does
she know we went on a date?
517
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,168
Is she gonna kill me?
She looks nuts.
518
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,885
- Lauren!
- Well, here she is.
519
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,682
- I have to talk to you!
- I never touched her. She repulses me.
520
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,365
- What?
- What?
521
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,681
Jen, what's wrong?
522
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,684
- It's over between me and Dick.
- Over?
523
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,649
I thought you don't like dick.
524
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,761
But you guys just started
using the L word.
525
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,123
The L Word. I saw that show. You
guys love that one I'm guessing.
526
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,726
I'm sorry. Who are you?
Are you here to fix something?
527
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,083
- You should probably go and do that.
- I'm Jim. I'm not a threat.
528
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,724
- Jim?
- The blind-date guy.
529
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,645
- You said that was a disaster.
- Oh, it was.
530
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,524
You said he was a chubby loser.
531
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:55,727
He is.
532
00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,204
You didn't mention he has that high phlegmy
voice like he drinks a lot of dairy.
533
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,084
- I know.
- Standing right here, ladies.
534
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,401
Hearing everything.
535
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,643
All right, our cards got switched
so we're just dealing with that.
536
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,290
What happened with Dick?
537
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,642
He just dropped a
major bomb on me.
538
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,086
He's married.
539
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,811
No, worse. He's got kids.
540
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,960
Oh, you're still here. Why?
541
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,085
You still have my card. "Why?"
542
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,882
Wait. You're just gonna break up
with him because he has children?
543
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,089
Five children. Five.
544
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:33,685
What am I, Julie Andrews?
545
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,003
I'm gonna sew matching outfits
and sing to escape the Nazis?
546
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,040
He asked me if I wanted
to be "part of the team."
547
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,249
- No, I don't!
- Maybe you should just go on the trip...
548
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,171
...and, you know, spend
some alone time with Dick.
549
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,289
See, he wanted the
kids to come with us.
550
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,762
He wanted me to get to know them in
a "fun and neutral environment."
551
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,083
Eh, five kids? Is his
last name Theodopolis?
552
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,126
- Yes.
- That's incredible. That's my boss.
553
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:02,690
He owns all the Dick's Sporting Goods.
I manage the one in Ridgefield.
554
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,882
Of course you do.
555
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,200
Dick takes a lot of special needs people,
makes them "managers" of something...
556
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,931
...so they can have a business
card and feel important.
557
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:13,760
Good for you!
558
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,127
That explains it.
That explains a lot.
559
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,886
You know, actually I applied
to work at Closet Queens...
560
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,123
...but they said there's already
a gorilla filling that position.
561
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,090
It's a thyroid thing.
562
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,811
- Heh.
- Where was he gonna take you?
563
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,121
Africa.
564
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,482
It was gonna be incredible.
Look at that.
565
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,120
- Sun, sand, safaris.
- Wow.
566
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,290
- Oh, my God.
- He must really like you a lot.
567
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,121
Sorry, I'm not
getting it at all.
568
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,607
Okay. And this concludes
our business.
569
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,561
Thank you. Africa.
570
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,167
So he's just gonna go here all
by himself with his kids now?
571
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,086
No. He's heartbroken now.
Nobody gets to go.
572
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,571
Oh, damn it!
573
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:59,046
Why does he have to have joint custody?
I thought the mother always got the kids.
574
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,522
I mean, this is a week away.
I hope he gets his money back.
575
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,251
- A week out? Not a chance.
- Aah!
576
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,727
Well, maybe they do things
differently in Africa.
577
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,089
I forgot you were an expert at
closets and African refund policies.
578
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,568
Okay. Kick him out. Don't let
him talk to you like that.
579
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,769
- Get out.
- I'm leaving.
580
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,770
Jen. My boys would give anything
to go on a vacation like this.
581
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,327
Mr. Theodopolis. Hi.
It's Jim Friedman.
582
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:30,805
I don't mean to be a vulture picking on
the carcass of your dead relationship.
583
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,121
But I wonder...
584
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,044
...if you'd sell
me the vacation...
585
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,680
...you were gonna go on with
Freddy Krueger's sister?
586
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,447
I have been saving and saving. I could
never give him full value for it...
587
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,642
...but something's better
than nothing, right, sir?
588
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,325
It would just be
the three of us.
589
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,046
It would just be the four of
us so we only need one room.
590
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,682
Oh, my God. Wait until
I tell the boys.
591
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:52,888
Wait till I tell the girls!
592
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,088
We're going to Africa!
593
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,441
Welcome to Africa.
594
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,489
Welcome, welcome.
595
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,565
I can't believe we're here.
596
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,330
This is pretty cool, Mom.
597
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:18,686
Yeah.
598
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:22,367
Welcome,
welcome, welcome, welcome.
599
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:27,202
So I did good? This is better
than, like, bowling and the mall?
600
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,970
Oh, yeah.
601
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:38,765
- Welcome, welcome.
- Africa!
602
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,527
Thank you so much. Thank you.
This is terrific. This is great.
603
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:43,841
What the fu...?
604
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,725
- Brendan!
- What the fudge is he doing here?
605
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,441
We're going on family
vacations together now?
606
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:54,286
I have no idea why they
followed us to Africa.
607
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:58,807
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
608
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,089
Is this a sick dream?
What is happening right now?
609
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,481
You're stalking my mom!
You're a predator!
610
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,610
Hey! Don't talk to my dad
like that, butthole!
611
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,127
- Language!
- How about you don't correct my daughter?
612
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,248
She can say "butthole"
if she wants to.
613
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:14,930
- Butthole! Butthole!
- Not you.
614
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,641
I hear thunder on the mountain.
Ha-ha-ha.
615
00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:23,327
Welcome to South Africa.
Mfana at your service.
616
00:34:23,720 --> 00:34:24,767
Mfana.
617
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,163
Uh, Jim. I mean, Dick.
618
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:29,765
Dick Theodopolis.
619
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,450
Welcome,
Dick Theodopolis!
620
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:36,242
And you are traveling with one
little girl and two, uh...
621
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:42,210
- Big girls.
- Ha-ha-ha. Of course.
622
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,641
And you must be...
623
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:44,927
...Miss Palmer.
624
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,321
Yes. Jen Palmer.
625
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:48,965
Oh, I see what you did.
626
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,804
I see what you did too.
627
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,045
Are you ready for the most exciting,
amazing, and romantic week...
628
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,089
...of your entire lives?
629
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,329
Exciting, amazing, romantic!
630
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:05,168
Yeah, we're here for the
zero romance package.
631
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,006
You still haven't told the
children, my friends?
632
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,446
Told the children what?
633
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,728
- Do I have a new mommy?
- Mfana.
634
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,367
Will you do us a favor?
Leave us alone for just two secs.
635
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,047
- Which means "of course."
- Thank you.
636
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,921
All right. Listen. Would you just
reassure my son that we're not dating.
637
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,447
We are not dating!
I promise you.
638
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,689
This is not a face I want to
wake up to every morning.
639
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,367
Wow.
640
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,643
You'd be lucky to wake up to that
every day. My mom is frigging hot.
641
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,484
Did you just say
your mom was hot?
642
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,085
No! Not hot...!
643
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,169
That's just wrong.
644
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,727
- Tyler! Tyler!
- Whoo!
645
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,684
- Get down from there!
- Wee!
646
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,242
Oh, God! Please, please,
please, please get down!
647
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,687
- Whoo!
- Aah!
648
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,282
This place is ginormous!
649
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:53,601
Oh, my God!
650
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,286
Follow me.
Right this way.
651
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,765
Welcome to your familymoon.
652
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,001
Whoa.
653
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,608
This is so cool.
654
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,046
Now we're talking!
This is Africa, baby!
655
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,281
We'll take this room.
656
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,442
No! We want this room.
657
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,929
Silly Theocropolises!
This is for the children.
658
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:20,084
This room is for the
mama and the papa.
659
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:23,730
Look at that bed.
660
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,405
- Huge.
- Awesome.
661
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,201
- This is so cool.
- Look at this candy.
662
00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:30,811
Here is where you make
more Theopotamuses.
663
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:34,651
My bad.
664
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,284
What part of "not dating"
does this bed fit into?
665
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,886
- Oh, boy.
- Okay. You know what?
666
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,610
Everybody fall into line.
667
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,121
Brendan, Tyler honey,
I need you on the couch.
668
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,044
Hilary, C-SPAN, Lou...
669
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,611
Espn, Espn.
670
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,366
Excuse me. Espn.
I'm sorry, honey.
671
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:52,971
Oh, my God.
672
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:59,401
Dick was gonna propose to Jen.
A family honeymoon, a "familymoon."
673
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,291
And your dumb friend ruined it.
Here's what's gonna happen.
674
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,204
The first room we saw,
we're gonna take that.
675
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,807
And you and your deranged boys can
have Wilt Chamberlain's headquarters.
676
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,724
Dude, what are you eating?
677
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,806
MM. "Cherry Pan-ties."
678
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:16,008
What are "Cherry Pan-ties"?
Let me see that.
679
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,041
- Oh, no! God! Spit it out! Spit it out!
- Why?
680
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,931
Just no Cherry Pan-ties ever!
Out, out, out!
681
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,209
Hey, Mom. I guess this
used to be a firehouse.
682
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,851
Look at this place. Wow.
683
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,321
Hello, Mr. Snuffleupagus.
684
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,244
Heh. Theodopolis.
685
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,005
Hello...
686
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,691
Girls.
687
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,241
- Girls. They're girls.
- That's twice.
688
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,368
Let's go, guys... Girls.
689
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,641
23. We're looking for 23.
690
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,529
There it is.
691
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,884
- Ahem.
- Oh.
692
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,087
'Hi!
693
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:10,561
How you doing? I think we're
sharing a table with you.
694
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:15,004
Yeah. Hi! I'm Eddy Wernick and this
is Ginger Wernick and our son, Jake.
695
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,800
We're from Vancouver.
696
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,530
Okay. I'm your son. All right?
697
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,571
Ginger would've had to give birth to
me when she was 6. She's not my mom.
698
00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,484
Okay. Get it out
there for everyone.
699
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,689
Sharing it, loving it. No holding back.
That's good.
700
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,561
- All right. Let's do our thing. Come on.
- Isn't this place fantastic?
701
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,688
- So romantic.
- Oh.
702
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,763
Good. Gonna have
a nice trip here.
703
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,845
- Um, Dad?
- Hey, sweetie.
704
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,246
Where should I sit?
705
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,811
You can sit anywhere you want.
706
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,321
What about Mom?
Where does she sit?
707
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,644
Uh, where do you
want her to sit?
708
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,287
Next to me?
709
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,602
Then that's where she'll sit.
Go ahead.
710
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,371
Get right next to Lou.
Your mom's right there.
711
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,851
Okay?
712
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,650
All good.
713
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,961
Ignoring it. Ignoring
the weirdness.
714
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:00,606
Ah.
715
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,087
Where's the funeral at, boys?
716
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,049
Where's the golf
tournament at, girls?
717
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,441
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
718
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,090
Mfana. Mfana!
719
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,442
Yes! Missus, uh...?
720
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,843
Reynolds. Palmer! Just
not his wife, okay?
721
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:16,843
I don't wanna sit here.
Not gonna happen.
722
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,611
Ha, ha. I'm afraid it
must happen, ma'am.
723
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,128
All tables are filled and
this is your family.
724
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,566
Please sit with us.
725
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,524
You give it a try.
726
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,968
Every family fights.
727
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,770
- You make it better.
- MM-hm.
728
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:32,967
- Yes?
- Yes.
729
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,645
Try the chakalaka.
730
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,607
- Hi, new people.
- Hello.
731
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:42,641
This is Lauren, by the way, and her children,
the karate kids, Wax On and Wax Off.
732
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,887
Isn't this place fantastic?
733
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,566
Oh, it's so romantic.
734
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,771
Sorry, what'd you say?
735
00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:54,163
So romantic!
736
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,487
Easy.
737
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,250
Keeping it classy, huh, Ginger?
738
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,528
Oh, Jakey, you have
something on your face.
739
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,364
Oh, it's a mole.
740
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,129
Hey! You can't sit there.
741
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,248
- Why not?
- My mom's sitting there.
742
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,322
- Is she in the bathroom or something?
- No. She's sitting there right now.
743
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,411
Are you on meds?
744
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:17,647
Ow!
745
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,883
It's okay, Espn. We'll get
Brendan another chair.
746
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:22,847
Thank you.
747
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,685
Whatever. I'm just gonna
go to the buffet.
748
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,320
Tyler, come with me. They eat
fried caterpillars here.
749
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:29,845
Hell, yeah!
750
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,601
Very nice. Girls, why don't
you hit the buffet also?
751
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,367
Larry, make sure you have plenty of beef,
okay? Gotta bulk up for the season.
752
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:37,885
Love you. Go on.
753
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,726
"Bulk up for the season"?
What is she, a bear?
754
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,445
She's trying out for girls' varsity this
year. A lot of big ladies out there.
755
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,888
- She's gonna eat her way into the starting five.
- My God.
756
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,204
Hello, everybody!
757
00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:00,200
My name is Nickens.
758
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,648
And we are Thathoo!
759
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,005
We play traditional South
African isicathamiya music...
760
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:13,768
...with a little bit
of American soul.
761
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,882
- Ha-ha-ha!
- It is getting a little hot in here.
762
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,251
Finally, my huge
African arms are free.
763
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,004
Yeah, baby!
764
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:27,960
Yes, they are.
765
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,441
No.
766
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,524
I would like to
welcome you to our...
767
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:36,480
...Fourth Annual Blended
Familymoon Week!
768
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,802
- What's a blended family?
- I don't know. It sounds painful, though.
769
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,009
I am looking out at
all you beautiful...
770
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,448
...stepchildren,
stepdads, stepmoms...
771
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:55,162
...half-brothers, same-sex domestic
partners, and good old-fashioned...
772
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,647
...booty calls gone wrong.
Ha-ha-ha.
773
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,724
Now, even though the
emphasis is on family...
774
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:07,441
...we here at the beautiful Sun
City Resort want to make sure...
775
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,491
...you get some alone time.
776
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,887
Oh...
777
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:19,408
Because alone time can
sometime take a long time...
778
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:23,451
...we have many supervised
activities for the young ones to do.
779
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,361
We have a fabulous
jungle play zone.
780
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,285
A nightly pool party.
781
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:39,920
Hey, Espn. Why aren't you getting in?
Is your mom afraid of the water?
782
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:43,806
Good one, Mom.
783
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,851
Magical animal time.
784
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:51,648
Little one, wouldn't you like
to try petting a living animal?
785
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,203
He's dead?
786
00:42:55,960 --> 00:43:00,409
And our famous
Tekula teen disco!
787
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:07,807
Hey, dude. There's a lot
of hot chicks out here.
788
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,485
The best time.
789
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,929
What the heck is...?
790
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,005
What is that?
791
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:33,891
Are you kidding me?
792
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,688
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?
793
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,769
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
794
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,968
Oh, God! Crocodile!
795
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,451
Crocodile attack!
796
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,120
Help me! Somebody help me!
797
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,726
Please don't kill me!
God! Oh, my God!
798
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,687
Mr. Bellyflopolis, the
crocodiles are fake!
799
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,605
They're fake?
800
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:01,809
Yes, they're fake!
801
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,407
Why would you make them
look so realistic?
802
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,689
Well, to scare the baboons away.
803
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:14,562
You just scared a zebra
stripe into my underwear!
804
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:18,805
Don't worry! What happens
in Africa, stays in Africa.
805
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:27,965
Oh. Oh.
806
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:29,884
Tyler. Okay.
807
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,123
Excuse me. Oh.
808
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:34,327
Okay.
809
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,450
That's one way to get him
to sleep through the night.
810
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,608
- You saw that?
- I actually heard it.
811
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,330
I think they heard it in Uganda.
812
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,403
It was a lot easier
when he was Lou's age.
813
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,291
Of course, let me help you out here.
Here you are. You're home.
814
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,200
- Thank you.
- Absol... Oh. Too late.
815
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,328
- Aah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
816
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,245
All right, all right, all right.
Pick him up.
817
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,562
Three-second rule.
Three-second rule.
818
00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:03,121
Good, good, good. You're fine.
He's fine.
819
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,723
Okay, now I'm getting scared.
820
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:24,370
Okay.
821
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,328
Sleep, sleep.
822
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:33,003
Too hot in here. No blanket, okay?
Shh.
823
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,724
Here's your buddy.
824
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,403
Love ya, love ya.
825
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:45,923
Mom's sleeping there.
826
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,284
Okay, can I sleep with her?
827
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,325
No, you'll crush her.
828
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,043
No, I could get in with her and
spoon with her. It would be nice.
829
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,807
- I don't wanna see that.
- No. Okay.
830
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,847
We'll let Mommy rest. I'll, uh...
I'll figure it out.
831
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,161
I love you.
832
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:05,886
- I love you too, Dad. Good night.
- Sleep good.
833
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:10,843
Me and you there, shorty.
834
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,207
Okay, that's right.
835
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:18,367
Right on my neck. That's gonna
make a nice evening for me.
836
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:42,690
Hey, guys. It is
time to wake up.
837
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:46,886
Africa awaits us.
It's a beautiful morning.
838
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,567
- Is he crazy?
- Go away. It's way too early.
839
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,971
Lou, will you wake up
with Daddy, please?
840
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,887
In the name of
Lucifer, let us sleep.
841
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:03,885
Up, up, up, you two.
I have quite a day planned.
842
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,331
I need a coffee.
843
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:15,765
Morning.
844
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,288
- Big day planned?
- Oh, yeah.
845
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:24,008
7:15 nature walk. 8:30 petting zoo.
10:00 a.m. native crafts.
846
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,447
The boys, they're so excited.
847
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:29,922
Really? My girls are ecstatic also.
Just jumping up and down on the bed.
848
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,286
Can't believe they're here.
849
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,488
- Cream?
- No, thank you.
850
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,803
- Sugar?
- Yes, please.
851
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,127
- Couldn't get the boys out of bed?
- No.
852
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:42,327
The girls?
853
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,245
The girls are probably
sleeping the rest of the trip.
854
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,927
Possible exorcism coming for the
little one. We'll see what happens.
855
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,485
Well, it's beautiful here.
856
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,011
Oh, yeah.
857
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,330
- I'll see you around.
- Yeah. Have a good one.
858
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,680
You won't see that
in New Jersey.
859
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:11,885
Okay. All right. All right. Here we go.
Okay. Here you go, baby.
860
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,566
That's it, sweetie. Take him down.
Take him! That's it.
861
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:16,802
Back him. Use your weight!
Muscle him.
862
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,885
- Unh.
- Use your body.
863
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,606
- Unh!
- Oh, yeah! Finish it!
864
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,651
- Ugh!
- And bam! That's it! Yes!
865
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,968
Yes! Way to go, Larry.
866
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,323
Winners up. Let's go.
Give me the ball. Buddy.
867
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:34,925
Up top.
868
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,370
And we go in. Let's go.
Get loose.
869
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,484
Cut. Cut! Larry! Move!
870
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,649
Come on. What are you doing?
871
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:49,650
Larry?
872
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,802
Just cut! Go! Break it.
873
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,689
Shake him off. Come on.
874
00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:56,006
Are you voguing right now?
875
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:58,531
What is happening?
876
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,525
Here! Just take the ball.
877
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,209
Work the kid. Work him.
Lose him.
878
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,125
Cross him. Cross him over.
Cross him.
879
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:07,691
Don't skip!
880
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,689
Why you moving like that?
Is it the bra?
881
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,009
Because if it's the bra, just take it off.
You don't need it anyways.
882
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:21,321
What?
883
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,407
What are you doing?
We just started.
884
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,131
Is your boy okay?
Why does he wear a bra?
885
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,006
She's a girl.
886
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:34,571
You suck.
887
00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:36,722
♪ You suck, you suck, you suck. ♪
888
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:38,803
♪ You suck, you suck, you suck. ♪
889
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,084
♪ You suck, you suck, you suck ♪
♪ You schooled by a little girl. ♪
890
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:44,720
♪ Your boy has no skills. ♪
891
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,050
♪ You schooled by a little girl ♪
892
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:01,764
Tyler, slow down!
893
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,250
Come on, Mom! We're going
four miles per hour.
894
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,324
That's plenty fast enough.
Fast and safe.
895
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,000
Miss Palmer!
It's okay to go fast.
896
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,764
Oh, okay, Mfana.
897
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:14,604
Watch me!
898
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,081
Ha-ha-ha. Wee!
899
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,806
- You're going the wrong way!
- Watch out, Grandma!
900
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:24,526
My bad.
901
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:29,126
The blending process
is really going well for us.
902
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:34,081
My husband's 13-year-old still has
some hatred issues towards me.
903
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,801
But it is becoming less
physical, so it's a start.
904
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,440
- That's great.
- Good for you.
905
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:44,406
I woke up this morning with a
pillow pressed against my face.
906
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:48,491
But I could sense some guilt afterwards.
So that's progress.
907
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,883
Hang in there, ladies. There's a
light at the end of the tunnel.
908
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,644
This little angel here...
909
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,731
...is finally starting to think
of me as her second mom.
910
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,247
Not just her former
gymnastics teacher.
911
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,244
What are you drawing, honey?
912
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,848
It's a picture of elephants stomping
on your head and making you dead.
913
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,408
- Heh-heh-heh.
- Stop it.
914
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,480
Don't worry. What happens
in Africa stays in Africa.
915
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:16,287
Bump my fist?
916
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,171
- Ha, ha. Jim's so funny.
- Yeah.
917
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:36,926
My head is boiling, Mom.
Get it off.
918
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:38,161
I'm trying.
919
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,007
- Why did you tie it with so many knots?
- I didn't want it to come flying off.
920
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,124
Oh, my God! What
happened to her face?
921
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:48,523
- I painted it. She's a kitty cat.
- Are you wearing eye shadow?
922
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:51,968
I made Daddy a princess, but
he washed the paint off.
923
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:55,522
Well, not all the way off because
he looks a little like Lady Gaga.
924
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:59,446
Why is this kid wearing a helmet? Are you
carrying him to bed again or something?
925
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:03,207
No, I tied the chin strap too many times.
I can't get it off.
926
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:07,046
Best thing about working at a sporting
goods store, Swiss Army knives.
927
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,009
- Just be careful.
- I'll go easy.
928
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:11,800
- Aah!
- Oh.
929
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,042
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Thank you.
930
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,044
- Daddy, I gotta go to the bathroom.
- You do? Okay.
931
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:18,565
Can she take me?
932
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,643
She's got her own life to live.
What do you gotta do? One or two?
933
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,246
- Number one.
- I can handle this.
934
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:27,730
- Okay.
- Will you watch him?
935
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:31,686
- And I mean watch him.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it, home slice.
936
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:32,887
- Okay.
- For sure.
937
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:34,923
What's number one again?
938
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,923
It's a pee-pee.
939
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,881
And sometimes
he wipes too hard.
940
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:44,322
I'm sure he doesn't mean to.
941
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:48,087
No, he's a good daddy.
He just doesn't have a bagina.
942
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,801
Okay, honey. Let's
wash your hands.
943
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:58,400
He's a bad daddy! He made me
look like the walking dead!
944
00:52:58,560 --> 00:52:59,607
Oh, no!
945
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,091
Okay.
946
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,691
All right.
947
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,525
Let's see what we have
in the magic bag here.
948
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,445
Oh. Perfect.
949
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,762
All right. La, da, da.
950
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:15,766
You're pretty.
951
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,244
You're prettier.
952
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,445
I said you are.
953
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,966
Shut up and
let me do your makeup.
954
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,130
Don't worry.
They're around.
955
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,725
Oh, I'm not worried.
956
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:31,405
Maybe that's where they are.
957
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:33,606
Yeah!
958
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:35,800
Yeah!
959
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:37,086
Tyler?
960
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,160
- Hold on, now!
- Excuse me.
961
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,961
- Hold on, big time!
- Aah!
962
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,924
Aah! Oh, my God!
I'm gonna kill him.
963
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,082
Yeah, baby! Hold on, now!
964
00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:54,651
Whoa! Whoa!
965
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,723
Easy, homey. Easy!
966
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,165
Tyler! Get off that
dodo bird right now!
967
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:05,291
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everything's fine.
The safety instructor's on top of it.
968
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,241
Ugh.
969
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,324
Look at me, Mom! I'm a cowboy!
970
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,927
Well, partner, I bet I can
stay on longer than you!
971
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,605
It's on, sheriff.
972
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,683
No "longer"! No "staying"!
973
00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:21,971
- I can't be beat!
- I can't hear you! You're going down!
974
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,522
I'm never gonna fall off!
Never!
975
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,570
Whoo! One hand, mama!
976
00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:33,846
Whoo... Aah!
977
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,049
Ooh!
978
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:38,201
Good!
979
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,364
Yes! I win!
I'm the king of Africa!
980
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,690
- Whoa!
- Tyler!
981
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:50,850
A winner!
982
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:52,405
Are you kidding me?
983
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,762
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
984
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,844
Wow. Whoo, boom!
985
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,731
You're a moron, okay?
Because he could've broken his neck!
986
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:05,044
Mom. Mom, Mom. Did you see that?
I stuck the landing and did the bull dance.
987
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:06,361
I saw it.
988
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:08,966
Thank you so much for taking
me on this trip, Mom.
989
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,963
This is the best day of my life!
990
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:15,531
Okay. Great! Oh, good! Oh, good.
I love you so much.
991
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,889
- I'm so glad you're having fun.
- Aw.
992
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,206
You're welcome.
993
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:21,931
Thank you so much.
994
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,885
- Why you flipping my dad off?
- Huh? I'm not.
995
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,890
Yo! Check out white girl
in the neighborhood.
996
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,441
Am I right, my brothers?
Woo-woo!
997
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,761
I can't believe your
dad's into my mom.
998
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,729
He doesn't like her.
She's into him.
999
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:52,363
No way. He's goofy and flabby all over.
My mom's gorgeous with a rocking body.
1000
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,249
Hey, that's sick, man.
1001
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:56,129
That was out of context!
1002
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:57,886
Was it?
1003
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,647
You know, you should just go talk to
him because he probably won't bite.
1004
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,644
Oh! No, no. I can't.
1005
00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:34,924
Got a boyfriend back at home?
1006
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:38,488
Please. All the guys at my school
pretty much assume I'm a lesbian.
1007
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,444
And not the hot kind.
1008
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,808
Well, have you ever
considered, say, like...
1009
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:46,560
...changing your hairstyle?
1010
00:56:46,720 --> 00:56:49,963
Our barber only really knows
how to do this and crew cuts.
1011
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:51,485
- So...
- A barber?
1012
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,842
Like the kind with
a pole outside?
1013
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,163
He cut our grandfather's hair.
He cuts my dad's hair.
1014
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,529
- And now he cuts our hair. Heh.
- May I just...?
1015
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,001
Yup.
1016
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,366
You have such a beautiful face.
1017
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:17,968
You know, it's funny because I was
actually on my way to the salon.
1018
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,129
Do you wanna come
check it out with me?
1019
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,201
For what?
1020
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,044
For a hairdo...
1021
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:25,646
...for a girl...
1022
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,370
...in this century.
1023
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:32,044
I would but I'd have to
ask my dad for the money.
1024
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,771
No. No, no, no. It's on me.
1025
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:37,287
Really?
1026
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,690
It would make me so happy.
1027
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,047
Because I don't get to
do this with my boys.
1028
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:44,722
- Come on, Prince Valiant.
- Heh.
1029
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:47,611
- I don't know who that is but okay.
- Okay.
1030
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,209
Where do you buy your clothes?
1031
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,846
Oh, Dad gets most of
our clothes from work.
1032
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,561
Oh, then I guess we should be
grateful he doesn't work at Hooters.
1033
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:00,888
No, my mom worked at Hooters.
1034
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:02,846
She what?
1035
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:07,523
Oh, my mom, she used to work at Hooters.
She managed the one over on Lake Street.
1036
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:11,649
Oh. Heh.
1037
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,210
So then he gets down on
one knee and proposes.
1038
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,569
Right in the middle
of kickboxing class.
1039
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:28,564
He's lucky he didn't get
kicked in the nuts.
1040
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,404
Oh, my nuts! Ha-ha-ha.
1041
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:37,406
Espn. This is the best passion
fruit I've ever tasted. Try it.
1042
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,562
And I got some for your mom too.
1043
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:42,961
Thank you.
1044
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,571
You're welcome.
1045
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:46,165
So how'd you two sexicans meet?
1046
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,766
Yeah! Hitting them with the
hard questions. I like it.
1047
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:50,883
Well, we met on a blind date.
1048
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,930
- Argh. Those are the worst.
- Oh.
1049
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,208
I've been on 10 blind
dates in my life.
1050
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,523
All fatties. Ten for ten.
All fatties.
1051
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:02,686
No offense, Jim.
1052
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:04,886
What?
1053
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:06,610
So what happened?
Where'd he take you?
1054
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:09,162
Actually, Hooters.
1055
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:10,441
Here we go.
1056
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:16,004
Which was wonderful service,
nice people, really great.
1057
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:19,921
Aw. How romantic.
1058
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,368
- Oh.
- Aw, everyone's shimmying now.
1059
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:25,568
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
Ha-ha-ha.
1060
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,530
Why you no shimmy, Jimmy?
Shimmy.
1061
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,087
Jim?
1062
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:12,561
Where's Larry?
What happened to Larry?
1063
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,165
I'm right here, Dad.
1064
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,846
Why were the, uh...?
1065
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,002
How did this, uh...?
1066
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,169
What's happening right now?
1067
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,611
Um, well, Lauren gave me
her salon appointment...
1068
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:26,841
Uh-huh.
1069
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,526
...and they put in hair
extensions and makeup...
1070
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:34,847
...and she even told them how to style
it and what to do, what not to do.
1071
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:36,968
She was pretty amazing.
1072
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:39,768
She was amazing, huh?
1073
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,890
Do you want to go get
some sushi from the bar?
1074
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,646
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, scarecrow!
She's gotta bulk up!
1075
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,963
Pork chops! Lamb chops! Tri-tip!
1076
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:51,207
Uh...
1077
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:53,169
Let's go get our beef on?
1078
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:02,009
Uh-oh. I think someone new came to dinner.
A flying baby named Cupid.
1079
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:03,844
- Heh-heh-heh.
- Ping.
1080
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,844
Aah! You got me!
1081
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:12,570
Now we're both in love.
1082
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,280
What's the matter?
1083
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,326
What's the matter?
1084
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:23,041
I just looked at my daughter, and
I didn't really recognize her.
1085
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:24,890
Kind of threw me
off for a minute.
1086
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:29,330
Well, she's 15, you know?
She's bound to grow up at some point.
1087
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:30,891
I know. Call me crazy.
1088
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,801
I just thought maybe that would be
my decision because she's my kid!
1089
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,931
Okay! Awkward moment. Uncomfortable.
Tension.
1090
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,844
I'm leaving the table.
Who's with me?
1091
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,048
- Me! Me!
- I'm going.
1092
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,410
Wow.
1093
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,001
Whoa. I just...
1094
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,400
Can I ask you?
1095
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:52,770
What made you think you could tart up
my daughter without my permission?
1096
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:57,083
You're right. I'm sorry. I am.
1097
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:00,882
I just find it hypocritical from
someone who nearly killed my son.
1098
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:02,724
So it was getting even?
Is that it?
1099
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:05,406
No, it's not getting
even but I just...
1100
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,369
- She's beautiful.
- Right.
1101
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,126
With that pageboy Prince Valiant
haircut you gave her...
1102
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,248
She looked very
nice with that haircut.
1103
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:17,281
...and the tracksuit, are you kidding me?
Dying on the inside to come out!
1104
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:21,968
Her mother was tomboyish at her
age and that was fine with me.
1105
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:24,961
You knew your wife
when she was 15?
1106
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,965
I knew my wife when I was 13.
I had a crush on her.
1107
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,248
I have no idea why
she liked me back.
1108
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,610
I was 90 percent goofy
and 10 percent loser.
1109
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:39,730
Well, I was 60 percent Urkel
and 40 percent Screech.
1110
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:44,050
Put it to you this way, If I didn't have braces,
my teeth would be hitting you right now.
1111
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:55,723
I'm sorry I yelled at you. I feel like a jerk
because I put your kid on a gooney bird...
1112
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:59,771
- ...and I didn't ask your permission.
- No, but listen. You're right.
1113
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,607
I need to let go of the
reins a little bit.
1114
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:08,521
I just want to say on
behalf of Thathoo...
1115
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:13,761
...how happy we are to see
you two lovebirds finally...
1116
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,160
...blending.
1117
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:18,688
No, we're not blending. We were
just having a conversation.
1118
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,525
- Just happy we haven't killed each other yet.
- Heh.
1119
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,682
♪ Yes, yes, you are blending. ♪
1120
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,604
We don't feel that way
about each other!
1121
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,922
♪ Yes, you'll be touching. ♪
1122
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:29,923
♪ Like wine and bobotie. ♪
1123
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,003
All right, let's go
and get our beef on!
1124
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,009
♪ And like malva pudding. ♪
1125
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,486
All right, thank you.
1126
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,371
I think they're blending over there!
Come now! Come now!
1127
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:40,369
They're blending over here! Yes!
1128
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:52,449
Daddy, look!
1129
01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:19,891
Ha-ha-ha. Woo-hoo!
1130
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,526
What?
I thought I saw an eagle.
1131
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:31,567
I saw a camel!
Ha-ha-ha.
1132
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,764
Hey, Hilary. Uh... You
wanna come in our truck?
1133
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,400
Shouldn't you be in your coffin?
The sun's out right now.
1134
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,529
Take a walk, homes.
1135
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:47,251
Eh, yo, yo, yo.
1136
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:48,840
Go ahead.
1137
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:04,561
Oh!
1138
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,404
- Oh, my God.
Ha-ha-ha.
1139
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:14,685
Look, children.
1140
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:16,922
The bush pig has
lost its parents...
1141
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:20,289
...so it is being cared for
by Mama and Papa Lion.
1142
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,883
Even in nature there
are blended families.
1143
01:05:24,080 --> 01:05:25,491
- That's nice.
- That's sweet.
1144
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,210
I may have misread
that situation.
1145
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,091
- You think so, buddy?
- What is wrong with you?
1146
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:00,244
Yeah, Lauren!
1147
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,765
Yeah. Baby!
1148
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,646
- No!
- You can do it, Mom!
1149
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,448
Go Lauren! Go Lauren!
1150
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:09,729
Whoa.
1151
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,206
Oh, my God.
1152
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:46,561
Emotional. Time passing.
Changes.
1153
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:49,166
It's... it's... It's hard.
1154
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:53,405
You gotta let it go. Turning the page.
Moving on.
1155
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:55,925
She was a little kid just a...
1156
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:58,048
Processing it. Accepting it.
1157
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:00,447
The circle of life.
Painful, though.
1158
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,011
It hurts, right?
1159
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:04,249
No. Not for me. I got a boy.
1160
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,050
But you're in the shithouse.
1161
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:07,680
Thanks.
1162
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,325
Whoo! Aah!
1163
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,609
The view is splendid!
1164
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:17,168
Which mean "who's next?"
1165
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:18,527
Please, Mom?
1166
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:21,087
What? That?
Are you crazy? No.
1167
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:24,130
If Mfana can do it, I could do it.
It's totally safe.
1168
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:28,171
There is no way I'm going
to let you do that.
1169
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:32,721
Unless I try it first...
1170
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,451
- ...and make sure you can handle it.
- Yes!
1171
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,568
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
1172
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,688
Your mom is gonna do it.
1173
01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:44,970
You have nothing to worry about.
You are in tight.
1174
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:46,969
You got 50-gauge webbing here.
1175
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:49,766
Possibly malaria is the only
thing you gotta think about.
1176
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:51,724
Don't swallow anything
weird up there.
1177
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,526
Okay. What happens if, like,
I wanna signal for help...
1178
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:57,809
- ...or, like, if I decide to change my mind? Aah!
- Whoa!
1179
01:07:57,960 --> 01:07:59,121
Oh, yeah, baby!
1180
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,520
- You look good!
- Oh, my God!
1181
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:02,927
I change my mind!
I change my mind!
1182
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,048
- Whoo!
- That's awesome!
1183
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:08,841
Oh.
1184
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,321
Wow!
1185
01:08:13,680 --> 01:08:16,411
Oh, my God!
1186
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:18,729
It's beautiful!
1187
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,121
Go, Mama, go!
1188
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:22,367
Aah! Aah!
1189
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,045
There are giraffes!
1190
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:27,926
Jim, there are giraffes right there!
I can see them!
1191
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,327
Well, say hello for me!
1192
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:33,331
Oh, wow!
1193
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,641
Oh, this is so pretty!
1194
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:42,763
Oh, my God! Elephants!
Elephants!
1195
01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:44,365
Aah!
1196
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:50,411
- Thatta girl!
- Go Lauren!
1197
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:54,444
Why is she screaming?
1198
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,446
She's not screaming. She's howling.
She's having fun.
1199
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:04,728
Looking good up there, baby!
1200
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:09,169
Fly, Mrs. Thorpopolis!
Fly like the wind!
1201
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,524
Tyler! You've gotta try this!
1202
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:20,051
Why you slowing down?
1203
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:23,524
- We're out of gas.
- You're out of gas? What does that mean?
1204
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:26,771
We used to have gas.
But now we're out.
1205
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:28,206
Oh.
1206
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:31,564
Oh, my God! What's happening?
1207
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:34,127
Jim!
1208
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,251
- We're out of gas!
- What?
1209
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:39,920
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God! No!
1210
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:41,320
This is all your fault!
1211
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:43,642
Don't worry! My dad's gonna
come up with a plan!
1212
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,770
- What's the plan?
- Look for a gas station.
1213
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:48,241
You suck.
1214
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,801
Why did I let you
talk me into this?
1215
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,041
Listen to me!
1216
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:53,929
When you get close
to the ground...
1217
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:56,646
...start running fast!
1218
01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,246
I have the legs of a corgi dog!
1219
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:03,121
It doesn't matter right now!
Move those little babies!
1220
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,524
You cannot let your kids
see you die like this!
1221
01:10:08,520 --> 01:10:11,444
Go! Go! Go!
1222
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:14,086
Now! Get those legs going!
1223
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,725
Oh, my God! Rhino!
1224
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:20,450
- Rhino, rhino!
- Oh, my God!
1225
01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:23,401
Spread them!
1226
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:25,642
- Oh, my God!
- Spread the legs!
1227
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:28,406
- Aah!
- Her bagina!
1228
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,250
Aah! Ow!
1229
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:34,406
Yeah!
1230
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:36,331
Ugh!
1231
01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:40,770
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Dad!
1232
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:07,245
Ooh.
1233
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,888
Aah.
1234
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:16,528
I didn't have you pegged for
the massage type of guy.
1235
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,365
It's the first massage I'll
ever do in my life. I have to.
1236
01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:22,126
To see if they can rub my
pancreas out of my neck.
1237
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:24,851
My God. You're
welcome, by the way.
1238
01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:27,050
For what?
1239
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,243
"For what?" For saving you.
1240
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:31,124
You didn't save me.
1241
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:32,964
You told me to keep running.
1242
01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:34,724
Why didn't you catch me?
1243
01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:37,247
I was supposed to catch you?
Who am I, Batman?
1244
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,289
Coming at me like
700 miles an hour.
1245
01:11:39,480 --> 01:11:43,405
You're weighing about a buck fifty. The
inertia would rip my arms off my body.
1246
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:47,804
Yes. That's me. I weigh a buck fifty.
If I'm holding your left ass cheek.
1247
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:52,404
- I don't know what women weigh.
- You don't know anything.
1248
01:11:52,560 --> 01:11:55,325
MM-hm. We'll see.
- Have a nice massage.
1249
01:11:55,480 --> 01:11:57,847
All right.
Now do the same on your partner...
1250
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:02,489
...while making sure to continue to
look deeply into each others' eyes.
1251
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:09,611
- What is this?
- A scene out of The Doors?
1252
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:11,928
I don't know. Uh...
1253
01:12:12,080 --> 01:12:14,481
Ma'am? Yeah.
I booked a massage.
1254
01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:18,366
Yes. You've booked for the
Art of Couples massage.
1255
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:23,244
- I just got a call from my babysitter...
- Oh. There was an avalanche in my back yard...
1256
01:12:23,440 --> 01:12:26,125
Come on! This is exactly
what you guys need.
1257
01:12:26,320 --> 01:12:28,641
We'll form a massage train.
I'll be the caboose.
1258
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:32,043
- Unacceptable.
- I'm joking.
1259
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:35,847
- Join us.
- No, ma'am.
1260
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:37,843
- I'm so good.
- I'm being totally honest...
1261
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:39,690
I think you should.
This way.
1262
01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:42,525
- And there you go.
- Oh, my God.
1263
01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:47,046
Okay!
1264
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:51,410
Let's loosen things up by
stroking your lover's neck.
1265
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:54,129
- Okay.
- Come on now.
1266
01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:56,120
Don't be bashful.
1267
01:12:56,280 --> 01:13:01,286
Give yourself over to the pleasure
of your loving partner's touch.
1268
01:13:05,160 --> 01:13:06,685
Yeah.
1269
01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:11,005
- Hello.
- How are you?
1270
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:16,247
Ow.
1271
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:18,084
Remember to keep the touch soft.
1272
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:20,846
Lightly brush your fingers
against her skin.
1273
01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:23,607
It's so...
1274
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:25,645
Oh, God! What's happening?
1275
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,290
- Is there a bug on me?
- No.
1276
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:31,968
There's no bug. I was just trying
to get some skin, like she said.
1277
01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:34,521
- Well, that hurts the jugular.
- I won't do it.
1278
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:37,371
I'm sorry. I don't know...
1279
01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:40,122
...how to give you a...
1280
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:49,450
Okay, so...
1281
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:51,485
- There you go.
- Oh.
1282
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:55,524
- That's actually really nice. Heh.
- Good.
1283
01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:57,045
Oh, God.
1284
01:13:57,720 --> 01:13:58,767
Oh.
1285
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:00,968
I feel like I'm relaxing.
1286
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,886
Oh, it's wonderful.
1287
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:06,765
Excuse me. Am I gonna get some
sort of rub action here...
1288
01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:09,122
...or does the guy do
all the work in Africa?
1289
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:10,770
Very funny, Mr. Moptopolis.
1290
01:14:13,200 --> 01:14:15,441
But he's right. Ladies,
it's time for you to join in.
1291
01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:20,249
As your partner moves down to
your shoulders, reach out...
1292
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:21,925
...and touch his ears.
1293
01:14:22,440 --> 01:14:26,286
Gently rub the lobes between
your thumb and index finger...
1294
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:29,086
...as if you were rubbing
the morning dew...
1295
01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:32,050
- ...off a flower petal.
- Uh-huh.
1296
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:34,282
- Are these your flower petals?
- Yes.
1297
01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:36,966
- Now rub the dew. Ha, ha. Do the dew.
- Heh.
1298
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:41,524
I'd be doing you a really big favor if I
just yanked these goofy things right off.
1299
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:44,445
Oh, just shut up,
schlumpy shoulders.
1300
01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:48,089
- I do have schlumpy shoulders.
- No, you don't. They're very nice.
1301
01:14:48,240 --> 01:14:51,528
But you know what helps if you
need to work on your posture?
1302
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:54,809
Here, just lift your arms a little bit.
Watch, I'll show you. Right...
1303
01:14:58,880 --> 01:15:00,211
Feels very good.
1304
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:03,006
- You have nice shoulders.
- Really?
1305
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,640
You really have a lot of muscle.
1306
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:07,086
- Not as much as you.
- Heh.
1307
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:09,891
From carrying that kid around
and smashing his head.
1308
01:15:11,360 --> 01:15:13,203
- Ugh.
- Oh, yeah!
1309
01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:15,880
Mr. Wernick. Those are not
your wife's shoulders.
1310
01:15:16,440 --> 01:15:17,965
Busted!
1311
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:21,684
Loving it though. Respect the vision.
I get it.
1312
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:23,650
- Gotta go for it, right?
- You do!
1313
01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:30,248
Whoa.
1314
01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:34,286
MM. That was so relaxing.
1315
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,531
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1316
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:42,520
I hope I put your pancreas
back where it belongs.
1317
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,802
I don't even know where
it is right now.
1318
01:15:46,240 --> 01:15:49,767
- Are you my sexy little wormhole?
- Yeah, I'm your sexy little wormhole!
1319
01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:57,930
They have fun.
1320
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,130
That's very pretty.
1321
01:16:11,680 --> 01:16:13,648
You were very nice.
Thank you.
1322
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:15,643
Heh. Oh, you know.
1323
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:19,289
You're a strong woman.
Strong hands.
1324
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:22,804
MM. I'm glad you like my hands.
1325
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:28,411
Daddy?
1326
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:30,682
Can Lauren put me to bed?
1327
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:34,482
Sweetheart, Daddy will put
you to bed in one second.
1328
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:36,769
But I want Lauren.
1329
01:16:36,920 --> 01:16:40,402
Lauren... Another time,
Lauren will do that.
1330
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:43,491
But I want her to put
me to bed tonight.
1331
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:45,051
And Daddy said no.
1332
01:16:45,440 --> 01:16:47,124
- MM!
- No.
1333
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:50,887
- MM!
- No!
1334
01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:53,731
I want Lauren.
1335
01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:57,528
I'm flattered.
1336
01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:03,131
That's good. You're all right.
1337
01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:07,609
Okay. How's that?
Are you all cozy now?
1338
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:09,440
Yes.
1339
01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:13,122
Daddy? Can you give
us some alone time?
1340
01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:19,966
I could go to the bathroom outside.
Is that what you want? You got it.
1341
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:22,084
Thrown out of my own tent.
1342
01:17:22,840 --> 01:17:24,490
I own him.
1343
01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:26,530
It seems that way.
1344
01:17:27,240 --> 01:17:29,720
Can you rub my head so
I have good dreams?
1345
01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:33,330
Of course.
1346
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:37,804
What a cute little head.
1347
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,563
Ew.
1348
01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:45,964
Couldn't go a little
further from the tent?
1349
01:17:46,440 --> 01:17:50,286
What do you want from me? There could
be gorillas out here, ready to kill.
1350
01:17:57,320 --> 01:18:01,484
Well, why don't you get them to
give you some Flomax or something.
1351
01:18:01,640 --> 01:18:04,086
Yep, getting older.
I'll give you that.
1352
01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:06,843
Can you sing to me?
1353
01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:09,049
Um, sure.
1354
01:18:10,320 --> 01:18:12,049
What should I sing?
1355
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:20,885
♪ Somewhere over the rainbow. ♪
1356
01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:25,081
♪ Way up high. ♪
1357
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:30,282
♪ There's a land that I heard of. ♪
1358
01:18:30,760 --> 01:18:35,641
♪ Once in a lullaby. ♪
1359
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,806
♪ Someday I'll wish upon a star. ♪
1360
01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:46,127
♪ And wake up where the ♪
♪ clouds Are far behind me. ♪
1361
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:51,045
♪ Where troubles melt ♪
♪ like lemon drops. ♪
1362
01:18:51,240 --> 01:18:56,724
♪ Away above the chimney tops. ♪
1363
01:18:57,160 --> 01:18:59,322
♪ That's where. ♪
1364
01:18:59,480 --> 01:19:06,409
♪ You'll find me. ♪
1365
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:36,735
- There's a gorilla right there!
- Aah!
1366
01:19:36,760 --> 01:19:38,171
I'm just kidding! I'm sorry!
1367
01:19:38,320 --> 01:19:42,211
I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle how emotional
it was getting. I just... I'm sorry.
1368
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:45,250
Get some rest. I didn't
mean to do that to you.
1369
01:19:54,360 --> 01:19:56,169
So get in your stance.
That's right.
1370
01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,800
And spread your legs just a little bit.
Like an inch.
1371
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:01,042
Elbow up. It's all
about balance.
1372
01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:03,646
That's right. That's right.
Keep your weight right there.
1373
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:05,724
How do you even play cricket?
1374
01:20:05,880 --> 01:20:07,882
We're not playing cricket.
We're playing baseball.
1375
01:20:08,040 --> 01:20:11,362
The only thing at the hotel they had
was this stupid battle thingamajiggy.
1376
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:12,567
Who's that guy?
1377
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,803
He's some guy named Dale.
Uh, he'll be pitching to you.
1378
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:17,883
Yeah, in cricket we
don't pitch, we bowl.
1379
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:20,128
Hey, Dale. How much
am I paying you?
1380
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,760
Five Brooklyn T-shirts from
your sporting goods store.
1381
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,321
Okay, I'm gonna make it four
if you correct me again.
1382
01:20:26,040 --> 01:20:28,361
All right, Dale. Pitch...
Or bowl one in.
1383
01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:33,487
- I stink at this.
- No, it's not you. It's not you.
1384
01:20:33,680 --> 01:20:36,604
Dale, you think maybe you can
reach the plate? That would help.
1385
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:38,967
Actually, in cricket
we bounce the...
1386
01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:41,165
I'll try. I'll try.
1387
01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:43,971
All right. Elbow up. Come on.
Get there.
1388
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:48,124
I don't wanna do this!
1389
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:49,526
Hey. What are you doing?
1390
01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:52,411
You don't throw your bat.
Or whatever this thing is called.
1391
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:54,164
- A bat.
- Thank you.
1392
01:20:54,320 --> 01:20:58,086
You're an athlete. You're a sportsman.
You gotta respect your equipment.
1393
01:20:58,640 --> 01:21:00,324
- Yes, sir.
- We ain't leaving here...
1394
01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:03,450
...till you hit the ball as
good as you ride an ostrich.
1395
01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:05,651
Pick up the bat.
1396
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:09,929
Hey. I know you're
up there all alone.
1397
01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:12,526
It's scary. You feel like
all the pressure's on you.
1398
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:15,724
But guess what?
The pressure is on him.
1399
01:21:17,040 --> 01:21:19,281
Doesn't look like he's
feeling the pressure.
1400
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:26,051
Oh, he's feeling it all right. He doesn't
think he can get the ball past you.
1401
01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:30,842
I want you to look him right in the
eyes and let him know you own him.
1402
01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:35,080
Go ahead. That's it, big time.
1403
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:36,486
Give him the stink eye.
1404
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:41,246
What's his problem?
1405
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:43,448
Well, look at that.
You rattled him.
1406
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:46,604
Okay. Dale, pitch it
in if ya got the guts.
1407
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,170
Whoa!
1408
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:54,284
Yes! Did you see that?
I killed it!
1409
01:21:54,440 --> 01:21:56,044
Let's do it a
hundred more times.
1410
01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:59,090
If I hit like that, my dad's
gonna start coming to my games.
1411
01:21:59,240 --> 01:22:00,480
What's going on here?
1412
01:22:00,680 --> 01:22:03,286
Jim just taught me how to
make the pitcher my bitch.
1413
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:04,846
Ah-ah-ah.
1414
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,160
My brother doesn't need you
to teach him how to hit!
1415
01:22:09,280 --> 01:22:11,248
Okay. You wanna show
him how to do it?
1416
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:12,926
Let's see what you got.
1417
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:15,242
I don't need to prove
anything to you, d-bag.
1418
01:22:16,200 --> 01:22:18,646
Dale, did he really
just call me a d-bag?
1419
01:22:18,920 --> 01:22:20,763
This shit just got real.
1420
01:22:22,320 --> 01:22:23,606
I'm gonna kill you.
1421
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:26,730
Okay, we'll see. Let's get your gloves up.
Face protected.
1422
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:28,366
Kick his ass, Brendan!
1423
01:22:28,520 --> 01:22:30,522
- What's that?
- Kick his ass, Jim!
1424
01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:33,160
Uh-huh. Whoa! Whoa, whoa.
1425
01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:35,209
You see, you gotta
look at your target.
1426
01:22:35,360 --> 01:22:39,445
How about I put a picture of your babysitter
on my face? Will you look at it then? Huh?
1427
01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:42,200
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Just leave her out of this!
1428
01:22:42,360 --> 01:22:44,601
Use your right hand.
You're better with that one.
1429
01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:47,161
- All right, all right. Boom.
- Oh!
1430
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:50,567
- You seem pissed at me.
- You just hit me!
1431
01:22:50,720 --> 01:22:53,644
No! Before that. Before that,
like when we first met.
1432
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:57,771
- Just think that my mom could do better.
- First of all, she can't do better.
1433
01:22:57,920 --> 01:23:00,400
Because no one's better than me.
I am the greatest.
1434
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:03,689
Secondly, I think it's nice that
you wanna protect your mommy.
1435
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:05,126
I hate you!
1436
01:23:05,280 --> 01:23:08,170
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down.
That was good though.
1437
01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:11,244
Showing a little something in there.
Listen, being a man...
1438
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:14,609
...ain't about pissing and moaning
anytime something's bothering you.
1439
01:23:14,800 --> 01:23:18,043
It's about dealing with what's in
front of you. So deal with me.
1440
01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:21,401
Are you okay?
1441
01:23:22,720 --> 01:23:25,121
That was sneaky. But I'm fine.
1442
01:23:25,960 --> 01:23:28,361
Does that make me
a man now, Jimbo?
1443
01:23:29,440 --> 01:23:30,521
No.
1444
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:33,365
Asking me if I was okay,
that was a start.
1445
01:23:34,880 --> 01:23:36,689
♪ They are blending. ♪
1446
01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:40,609
♪ They are bonding. ♪
1447
01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:46,091
Yeah, that's great. Didn't know you guys
worked out together, but it makes sense.
1448
01:23:46,640 --> 01:23:48,404
♪ When one person. ♪
1449
01:23:48,760 --> 01:23:50,524
♪ Meets another. ♪
1450
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:52,921
♪ Come together. ♪
1451
01:23:53,480 --> 01:23:56,245
♪ Oh, they are blending ♪
1452
01:24:03,760 --> 01:24:05,728
And then what happened?
1453
01:24:05,880 --> 01:24:11,046
The bowler threw it, and
I hit it like a mile away.
1454
01:24:11,200 --> 01:24:14,044
Yeah. And then Jim
taught me how to box.
1455
01:24:14,200 --> 01:24:17,443
And after 5 minutes,
I basically knocked him out.
1456
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:18,647
Yeah!
1457
01:24:18,800 --> 01:24:20,609
Well, that was nice of him.
1458
01:24:22,360 --> 01:24:24,886
Kind of worked out well,
they came on this trip.
1459
01:24:25,080 --> 01:24:27,811
Yes, it did.
1460
01:24:43,720 --> 01:24:47,566
Lauren, you looked so hot in
this dress, I had to buy it for you.
1461
01:24:47,720 --> 01:24:49,563
And by "buy," I mean "steal. ".
1462
01:24:49,720 --> 01:24:51,529
Hope you're having
fun on my vacation.
1463
01:24:59,920 --> 01:25:04,323
So its tongue was ridiculous.
It got me, like, all over.
1464
01:25:04,480 --> 01:25:06,562
It was, like, in balls.
They were like,
1465
01:25:06,720 --> 01:25:09,929
Like a stem going against
each other, head-to-head.
1466
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,651
Dad. Did you comb your hair?
1467
01:25:13,800 --> 01:25:17,088
No. Got out of the shower
like this, I guess.
1468
01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:18,651
You took a shower?
1469
01:25:18,920 --> 01:25:22,083
I shower! I'm allowed to shower.
My God.
1470
01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:25,767
- I haven't taken a shower since we got here.
- I know. You stink. I love it.
1471
01:25:25,920 --> 01:25:27,251
Yeah, I stink bad.
1472
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:30,643
Yeah, you stink real bad.
Your breath smells terrible.
1473
01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:35,526
Where's Lauren?
1474
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:13,167
Wow.
1475
01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,687
- Look at Mom.
- Hello.
1476
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:17,205
Dad! Say something to her.
1477
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,731
Yes, yes. You look
very, very nice.
1478
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:23,326
Oh, well, thank you.
You showered.
1479
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:27,448
Am I really known as the non-shower guy?
I shower all the time, guys.
1480
01:26:27,600 --> 01:26:28,601
No, he doesn't.
1481
01:26:29,960 --> 01:26:32,486
Ladies and gentlemen...
1482
01:26:32,640 --> 01:26:34,529
...it's the final night...
1483
01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:39,208
...of our blended family
experience here in Africa.
1484
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:46,483
Our tradition is to invite the
kiddies to the pool area...
1485
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:50,008
...for our famous kids-only
safari buffet...
1486
01:26:50,160 --> 01:26:53,721
...and 10-foot chocolate
rain forest fountain!
1487
01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:55,206
Can we go, Dad?
1488
01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:57,727
All right, go ahead. Stay
with you sisters though.
1489
01:26:57,880 --> 01:27:00,486
My boy here's a chocoholic.
You better watch out.
1490
01:27:00,640 --> 01:27:04,440
Or he's gonna jump in and come out
looking like a handsome Hershey bar.
1491
01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:08,530
Did you see that?
1492
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:12,288
I made him smile. He tried not
to but he couldn't help himself.
1493
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:16,289
- We're gonna be a great family.
- Yes, we are.
1494
01:27:18,040 --> 01:27:19,451
Love you.
1495
01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:23,286
All of the little
ones have gone.
1496
01:27:23,560 --> 01:27:26,131
Tonight the dining room is,
1497
01:27:26,960 --> 01:27:29,042
Adults-only.
1498
01:27:29,480 --> 01:27:31,801
Yeah, now we're getting there.
1499
01:27:31,960 --> 01:27:35,169
Let's have all you blended
lovers on the dance floor.
1500
01:27:45,800 --> 01:27:49,202
♪ Love. ♪
1501
01:27:49,360 --> 01:27:53,763
♪ Is a many blended thing. ♪
1502
01:27:55,600 --> 01:27:58,524
♪ It's the April rose. ♪
1503
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:00,604
♪ That only grows In ♪
♪ the early spring. ♪
1504
01:28:00,760 --> 01:28:01,921
It's crazy, huh?
1505
01:28:02,080 --> 01:28:03,241
The song.
1506
01:28:03,400 --> 01:28:06,882
He took the word "splendid" and
replaced it with "blended."
1507
01:28:07,040 --> 01:28:09,441
So clever. It rhymes!
1508
01:28:09,640 --> 01:28:12,246
But, the real word
is "splendored."
1509
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:14,129
So wouldn't it be "blendored"?
1510
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:15,841
What's this now?
1511
01:28:16,000 --> 01:28:17,843
I'm just rambling. I'm sorry.
What...?
1512
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:20,571
- Heh.
- Are you ready, Mr. Chiapetolis?
1513
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:23,200
"Chiapetolis"? All right.
He finally got it.
1514
01:28:23,400 --> 01:28:28,361
- Heh. Ready for what?
- You scheduled a star-gazing experience.
1515
01:28:28,560 --> 01:28:29,686
So...
1516
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:32,964
...Mrs. Chiapetolis, would
you like to come join me?
1517
01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,482
- Oh. Yeah.
- All right.
1518
01:28:38,160 --> 01:28:41,482
♪ Once. ♪
1519
01:28:41,640 --> 01:28:45,087
♪ High on a windy hill. ♪
1520
01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:48,291
♪ Or two hills, that's good. ♪
1521
01:28:48,440 --> 01:28:52,684
♪ On a morning mist, ♪
♪ Two lovers kiss. ♪
1522
01:28:53,240 --> 01:28:55,004
Just a little bit farther.
1523
01:28:55,160 --> 01:28:56,969
- All right. Thank you.
- Okay.
1524
01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:00,844
Here we are.
1525
01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:02,804
Dinner for two.
1526
01:29:03,160 --> 01:29:04,241
Oh, yeah.
1527
01:29:04,440 --> 01:29:05,566
Wow.
1528
01:29:05,720 --> 01:29:06,846
This is good.
1529
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:12,086
I gotta give it up to Dick. He's probably
the most romantic guy on the planet.
1530
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:15,011
Yeah, he's got the moves.
No doubt about it.
1531
01:29:15,240 --> 01:29:18,244
I bet this is where he
was gonna ask Jen to marry him.
1532
01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:19,447
Maybe.
1533
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:22,649
We were able to get everything
you asked for this morning...
1534
01:29:22,800 --> 01:29:26,521
...except the sticks of cheese
in the shape of a heart.
1535
01:29:26,680 --> 01:29:28,170
Cheese sticks?
1536
01:29:29,920 --> 01:29:31,365
Did you set this up?
1537
01:29:31,560 --> 01:29:33,005
I wanted a do-over.
1538
01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:35,004
For that first date fiasco.
1539
01:29:35,480 --> 01:29:36,766
I'm better than that.
1540
01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:44,167
Which means,
1541
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:49,441
"Lovers long for the moment their
souls may blend in a whisper."
1542
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:52,683
- MM.
- May this be your moment.
1543
01:29:53,560 --> 01:29:56,723
Did you eat pork chops...
1544
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,121
...with tuna fish
today at lunch?
1545
01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:01,521
- Yes, I did.
- I can tell.
1546
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:05,765
Apologies. I will brush my teeth
presently, Mr. Lollipopolis.
1547
01:30:06,080 --> 01:30:09,084
I'd brush them twice. And did you
really call me "Lollipopolis"?
1548
01:30:11,000 --> 01:30:13,401
It's Theodopolis.
Just for the record.
1549
01:30:13,560 --> 01:30:15,369
I know. I just like
to have fun...
1550
01:30:15,720 --> 01:30:17,006
...Jim Friedman.
1551
01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:19,845
- Wha...?
- What?
1552
01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:23,408
- That was good.
- Thank you, Mfana.
1553
01:30:30,600 --> 01:30:32,443
How about Thathoo
showing up everywhere?
1554
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:36,241
They were in my shower this morning.
I had a very nice time with them too.
1555
01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:41,811
There she is. Oh,
thank you so much.
1556
01:30:41,960 --> 01:30:45,169
Hey, Bubbles. Nice wiggle, but
you grew a tail. Ha-ha-ha.
1557
01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:47,370
Here's looking at you.
1558
01:30:47,520 --> 01:30:50,967
No, really. Looking at you, because
you're actually looking at me this time.
1559
01:30:53,560 --> 01:30:54,800
You...
1560
01:30:56,280 --> 01:30:58,601
...have the most beautiful...
1561
01:31:01,400 --> 01:31:02,481
...kids.
1562
01:31:03,320 --> 01:31:05,846
- Oh. Thank you.
- Sure.
1563
01:31:07,360 --> 01:31:09,283
You're a great mom too.
1564
01:31:10,160 --> 01:31:12,640
You're a pretty
good mom yourself.
1565
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:14,606
I'll take that.
1566
01:31:15,200 --> 01:31:17,487
Tyler has a playoff
game on Saturday...
1567
01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:18,687
Yeah?
1568
01:31:19,080 --> 01:31:22,163
...and I think that...
1569
01:31:23,480 --> 01:31:30,045
...for the very first time, he won't actually
be completely dreading it, thanks to you.
1570
01:31:30,200 --> 01:31:34,091
Tell your... His father the more he works with
him, the more he's gonna get confident...
1571
01:31:34,240 --> 01:31:36,680
...the more he's gonna belt the
ball anytime he gets up there.
1572
01:31:36,840 --> 01:31:41,164
Yeah, well, his dad's not really
into working with him, you know...
1573
01:31:41,320 --> 01:31:45,962
...because to do that, he'd have to
show up, which he's just not good at.
1574
01:31:46,200 --> 01:31:48,328
You gotta show up for your kids.
1575
01:31:48,520 --> 01:31:52,002
It should be boring how
reliable a parent is.
1576
01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:56,686
It's funny to me that some
people don't get that. You do!
1577
01:31:56,840 --> 01:32:00,765
I mean, your kid needs to come
first 100 percent of the time.
1578
01:32:00,920 --> 01:32:02,888
Absolutely. 99 percent.
1579
01:32:03,120 --> 01:32:07,091
One percent of the time, I think we
are allowed to get what we want.
1580
01:32:07,240 --> 01:32:09,607
Aah. God.
1581
01:32:09,760 --> 01:32:13,082
I forgot what it was
like to want something.
1582
01:32:13,720 --> 01:32:18,408
I vaguely remember
it feels good.
1583
01:32:30,000 --> 01:32:31,729
I can't do this.
1584
01:32:31,920 --> 01:32:34,082
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1585
01:32:36,880 --> 01:32:40,123
I really... I'm... It's not you.
1586
01:32:43,720 --> 01:32:45,768
I thought I could do this.
I just...
1587
01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:52,809
Sorry about them too.
1588
01:32:55,480 --> 01:32:57,005
They're still awesome.
1589
01:33:04,080 --> 01:33:06,003
Sorry I did that to you.
1590
01:33:08,280 --> 01:33:10,123
He didn't kiss you?
1591
01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:13,331
He's an idiot.
1592
01:33:14,080 --> 01:33:17,766
Although, you have to admit. The
monkeys playing the violins and stuff?
1593
01:33:17,920 --> 01:33:19,410
That is hilarious.
1594
01:33:19,800 --> 01:33:22,280
I can't believe that we both
found these great guys...
1595
01:33:22,440 --> 01:33:24,283
...and we're not gonna
end up with them.
1596
01:33:27,440 --> 01:33:28,885
Are you gonna get that?
1597
01:33:33,640 --> 01:33:35,768
Hi. It's not a good
time right now.
1598
01:33:38,120 --> 01:33:39,406
I L word you so hard.
1599
01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:42,211
And you know what? I am
gonna make L word to you...
1600
01:33:42,360 --> 01:33:43,930
...for at least an
hour and a half.
1601
01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:46,881
Okay.
1602
01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:51,889
That was my mom.
1603
01:33:52,040 --> 01:33:53,610
And she's doing good.
1604
01:33:55,320 --> 01:33:57,721
All right. I'm giving
Dick another chance.
1605
01:33:57,960 --> 01:34:00,406
To do what? Get rid of his kids?
1606
01:34:01,680 --> 01:34:04,206
I'm gonna meet his children.
Heh.
1607
01:34:05,120 --> 01:34:08,806
You should try saying that without
contorting your face so much.
1608
01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,087
I'm gonna meet his children.
1609
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,562
Heh. Better.
1610
01:34:15,280 --> 01:34:16,805
I'm sorry about Jim.
1611
01:34:17,960 --> 01:34:19,246
Me too.
1612
01:34:44,040 --> 01:34:45,929
Why didn't you kiss her, man?
1613
01:34:47,760 --> 01:34:50,491
I couldn't. I just...
1614
01:34:51,640 --> 01:34:55,167
I was afraid it wasn't
the right thing to do.
1615
01:34:56,640 --> 01:34:59,086
What did Africa do to you?
1616
01:35:03,640 --> 01:35:05,608
- That doesn't hurt. Stop.
- Ow.
1617
01:35:06,120 --> 01:35:09,010
I'm trying my best.
Just sit still.
1618
01:35:09,320 --> 01:35:11,846
- Does it look pretty?
- It looks fantastic. Yeah.
1619
01:35:12,000 --> 01:35:13,650
Yay.
1620
01:35:14,200 --> 01:35:16,089
Ha-ha-ha. No.
1621
01:35:16,960 --> 01:35:19,486
- You look nice.
- Oh, thanks.
1622
01:35:19,640 --> 01:35:22,405
- Where you off to?
- Oh, I'm going on a date with Jake.
1623
01:35:22,560 --> 01:35:25,291
How can you go out with Jake?
He lives in Vancouver.
1624
01:35:25,440 --> 01:35:26,851
Hi, Mr. Friedman.
1625
01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:30,686
Yay there, Skeletor. Listen,
make sure plenty of beef.
1626
01:35:30,840 --> 01:35:32,683
Seriously. She's got
tryouts this week.
1627
01:35:33,160 --> 01:35:35,766
Lamb chops, pork chops, tri-tips.
You got it.
1628
01:35:36,040 --> 01:35:37,769
That's the way.
1629
01:35:37,960 --> 01:35:39,530
Garbage twisties?
1630
01:35:39,680 --> 01:35:41,523
- I don't know how to...
- You're awful.
1631
01:35:41,680 --> 01:35:43,045
Just fix it then.
1632
01:35:43,200 --> 01:35:45,202
So when are we gonna
see Lauren again?
1633
01:35:45,640 --> 01:35:47,608
Something happened
between you guys.
1634
01:35:47,800 --> 01:35:50,121
No. What are you, crazy?
Nothing happened.
1635
01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:52,482
Dad, come on. I saw the
way you looked at her.
1636
01:35:52,680 --> 01:35:55,286
- And I saw the way she looked at you.
- It's undeniable.
1637
01:35:55,440 --> 01:35:58,683
- You guys are infatuated with each other.
- Jake, butt out.
1638
01:35:58,840 --> 01:35:59,841
Sorry, sir.
1639
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:03,686
Don't you guys have anything better to do
than look at people looking at each other?
1640
01:36:03,840 --> 01:36:05,888
Besides, what am I
supposed to do?
1641
01:36:06,040 --> 01:36:09,044
Change our whole lives just
because I'm in love with her?
1642
01:36:11,240 --> 01:36:12,480
Yes!
1643
01:36:15,120 --> 01:36:16,849
Wow.
1644
01:36:17,040 --> 01:36:19,441
Aah! So romantic!
1645
01:36:19,600 --> 01:36:22,968
Loving it! Taking a risk.
Go get her, baby!
1646
01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:29,607
I know I confused you.
1647
01:36:29,800 --> 01:36:32,690
I just had to make sure.
1648
01:36:32,960 --> 01:36:34,849
For my wife and for my kids.
1649
01:36:35,000 --> 01:36:37,685
And for your kids. And for you.
And...
1650
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:41,082
Just so we have no lies.
1651
01:36:41,240 --> 01:36:44,130
It was me who drank
your beer at Hooters.
1652
01:36:44,280 --> 01:36:47,170
I don't know why I did that.
I get free beers there...
1653
01:36:47,360 --> 01:36:49,840
...so it was just panic then.
1654
01:37:07,600 --> 01:37:08,681
Yeah?
1655
01:37:09,920 --> 01:37:12,082
This is 323, right?
1656
01:37:12,560 --> 01:37:13,766
Yeah.
1657
01:37:14,520 --> 01:37:16,249
I was looking for Lauren.
1658
01:37:16,880 --> 01:37:18,211
You and me both.
1659
01:37:19,040 --> 01:37:20,087
Jim!
1660
01:37:20,760 --> 01:37:22,728
Big time! Look at you!
1661
01:37:23,160 --> 01:37:25,447
Mom's not home. This is my dad.
1662
01:37:26,240 --> 01:37:27,241
Mark.
1663
01:37:27,640 --> 01:37:29,005
Yeah. Who are you?
1664
01:37:29,160 --> 01:37:30,889
Jim! The cool guy
from the safari.
1665
01:37:31,520 --> 01:37:33,841
Do you wanna "bowl"
me a few pitches?
1666
01:37:34,920 --> 01:37:37,241
I'm sure your father wants
to do that with you.
1667
01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:39,281
No, he doesn't.
1668
01:37:39,440 --> 01:37:42,046
No, no, no, no. Go get
your bat, big time.
1669
01:37:42,400 --> 01:37:44,129
Hey! We can all play!
1670
01:37:44,280 --> 01:37:46,282
I'll get Brendan's glove.
He never uses it.
1671
01:37:47,160 --> 01:37:49,731
Boy, he hasn't shut up
about that Africa trip.
1672
01:37:49,920 --> 01:37:52,651
Your kids are incredible.
1673
01:37:52,880 --> 01:37:53,961
Yeah.
1674
01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:59,047
That's why Lauren and I are, you know,
trying to make things work again.
1675
01:37:59,200 --> 01:38:00,440
For them.
1676
01:38:01,680 --> 01:38:03,921
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
1677
01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:05,844
I'll tell her you came by.
1678
01:38:06,040 --> 01:38:09,203
And I'll put these
in the bedroom...
1679
01:38:09,800 --> 01:38:11,768
...next to where we make love.
1680
01:38:14,960 --> 01:38:16,371
Okay.
1681
01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:21,611
Tell Tyler I said goodbye.
1682
01:38:25,120 --> 01:38:26,485
Where's Jim going?
1683
01:38:27,360 --> 01:38:29,089
He had stuff to do, I guess.
1684
01:38:30,280 --> 01:38:32,487
- Can you and me play then?
- Yeah, of Co...
1685
01:38:33,880 --> 01:38:36,247
Ooh. Saved by the bell.
1686
01:38:36,560 --> 01:38:38,130
Hey, what's up?
1687
01:38:38,680 --> 01:38:40,205
You busy?
1688
01:39:11,280 --> 01:39:13,567
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
1689
01:39:13,960 --> 01:39:16,964
Is there a GQ photo
shoot going on here?
1690
01:39:17,120 --> 01:39:20,442
Oh, no. I'm just, uh...
I'm just chilling.
1691
01:39:21,000 --> 01:39:25,403
I'm sorry that took so long. Thank
you for watching after the boys.
1692
01:39:25,640 --> 01:39:29,201
I'm done now and I'm guessing you
have somewhere you gotta go so...
1693
01:39:29,400 --> 01:39:30,970
How do you always look so great?
1694
01:39:31,680 --> 01:39:34,889
Yeah? It's my
haven't-washed-my-hair-in-three-days look.
1695
01:39:35,040 --> 01:39:36,565
Thanks for noticing.
1696
01:39:36,720 --> 01:39:38,961
Heh. You're so funny.
1697
01:39:40,400 --> 01:39:42,721
It's hard for me to imagine
you with someone else.
1698
01:39:42,920 --> 01:39:45,400
Really? It wasn't hard for
you to imagine yourself...
1699
01:39:45,560 --> 01:39:47,562
...with someone else
when you cheated on me.
1700
01:39:47,720 --> 01:39:51,167
You always bring it back to that. I
could say, "Hey, look at that house."
1701
01:39:51,320 --> 01:39:54,244
And you'd say, "Oh, we lived in a
house when you cheated on me."
1702
01:39:54,400 --> 01:39:57,085
Or I could say, "Pass that pickle."
And you could say, I don't know.
1703
01:39:57,240 --> 01:39:59,766
Something about a pickle
and you cheating on me.
1704
01:40:02,280 --> 01:40:04,487
It's fun to laugh with
you again, Lauren.
1705
01:40:04,680 --> 01:40:06,330
We used to do that all the time.
1706
01:40:06,720 --> 01:40:08,210
You brought flowers?
1707
01:40:09,640 --> 01:40:10,687
Yeah.
1708
01:40:13,440 --> 01:40:15,090
Why'd you bring flowers?
1709
01:40:15,560 --> 01:40:17,528
Because you deserve flowers.
1710
01:40:19,920 --> 01:40:23,481
Lauren, when you went away to
Africa, I did a lot of thinking.
1711
01:40:24,960 --> 01:40:28,646
You and I, we have so much
history together. Two boys.
1712
01:40:28,800 --> 01:40:29,961
One receptionist.
1713
01:40:30,120 --> 01:40:32,964
Look, I made a mistake!
1714
01:40:33,120 --> 01:40:36,090
You made it at least four
mistakes that I know of.
1715
01:40:36,240 --> 01:40:37,810
Made. Past tense.
1716
01:40:37,960 --> 01:40:39,803
I was a jerk.
1717
01:40:40,080 --> 01:40:42,606
Lauren, you were the
best thing in my life.
1718
01:40:42,880 --> 01:40:44,086
You and the boys.
1719
01:40:45,600 --> 01:40:48,604
And boys need their fathers.
1720
01:40:49,320 --> 01:40:50,526
They do.
1721
01:40:51,000 --> 01:40:53,162
I know that I'm a good father.
1722
01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:55,409
I just need to prove it to them.
1723
01:40:55,560 --> 01:40:57,881
Well, you can!
It's not too late.
1724
01:40:58,320 --> 01:41:00,084
Is it too late...
1725
01:41:00,280 --> 01:41:01,691
...for this?
1726
01:41:03,280 --> 01:41:05,760
What are you doing?
1727
01:41:05,920 --> 01:41:07,445
I'm coming home, baby.
1728
01:41:07,600 --> 01:41:10,285
Oh! Mark! Get off of me!
1729
01:41:10,520 --> 01:41:12,249
You don't live here anymore!
1730
01:41:13,480 --> 01:41:14,720
Is there someone else?
1731
01:41:14,920 --> 01:41:19,164
Heh. No. And that's none
of your business anyway.
1732
01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:22,608
You're interested in
being a good father?
1733
01:41:22,800 --> 01:41:25,087
Tyler has a game on Saturday.
Be there.
1734
01:41:46,320 --> 01:41:47,651
Dad?
1735
01:41:48,120 --> 01:41:50,202
I didn't mean to wake you. Sorry.
1736
01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:53,802
I was talking to Mom before bed.
1737
01:41:54,840 --> 01:41:57,605
- MM-hm.
- And...
1738
01:41:57,760 --> 01:42:01,401
...she says she has a
lot of stuff to do.
1739
01:42:02,840 --> 01:42:03,887
She does?
1740
01:42:04,720 --> 01:42:10,011
Yeah. So she might not be
able to hang around as much.
1741
01:42:13,280 --> 01:42:14,725
Okay.
1742
01:42:15,120 --> 01:42:19,045
She also said you need to increase
my allowance to 5 dollars.
1743
01:42:20,040 --> 01:42:21,929
She's very generous.
1744
01:42:26,320 --> 01:42:27,685
I just...
1745
01:42:30,720 --> 01:42:33,087
I don't want her to disappear.
1746
01:42:33,880 --> 01:42:37,771
Sweetheart, she's never
gonna disappear.
1747
01:42:37,960 --> 01:42:39,246
Never ever.
1748
01:42:40,040 --> 01:42:44,204
You can let her go.
She will always be right here.
1749
01:42:44,360 --> 01:42:47,603
And I will always be here.
I promise you.
1750
01:43:00,280 --> 01:43:02,089
By the way...
1751
01:43:02,240 --> 01:43:04,527
...Mom loved the Africa trip.
1752
01:43:05,240 --> 01:43:06,685
So did I.
1753
01:43:10,360 --> 01:43:11,486
I miss her.
1754
01:43:12,200 --> 01:43:14,168
Your mother was the greatest.
1755
01:43:15,280 --> 01:43:16,884
I mean Lauren.
1756
01:43:20,480 --> 01:43:21,766
Me too.
1757
01:43:22,680 --> 01:43:25,445
We don't have to let
go of her too, do we?
1758
01:43:26,080 --> 01:43:27,730
Come here.
1759
01:43:39,120 --> 01:43:41,885
Brendan, don't forget that I'm
picking you up for Scouts...
1760
01:43:42,040 --> 01:43:43,485
...so don't take the bus home.
1761
01:43:43,880 --> 01:43:46,724
Thanks for telling everyone
I'm still in Scouts, Mom.
1762
01:43:46,880 --> 01:43:49,281
You're a good boy.
Be proud of who you are.
1763
01:43:52,280 --> 01:43:53,725
Love you.
1764
01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:14,848
Say one word and you're dead.
1765
01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:17,322
You're driving a minivan.
1766
01:44:17,640 --> 01:44:19,005
It's Dick's.
1767
01:44:19,160 --> 01:44:22,323
I'm off to buy toilet paper
for Team Theodopolis.
1768
01:44:22,560 --> 01:44:26,007
When the team needs toilet paper,
the Co-captain goes and gets it.
1769
01:44:26,160 --> 01:44:28,731
And believe me, those
kids never stop crapping.
1770
01:44:29,560 --> 01:44:31,289
Kids need to crap.
1771
01:44:31,440 --> 01:44:34,603
You need anything from Walmart?
1772
01:44:35,600 --> 01:44:36,647
I'm good.
1773
01:44:37,640 --> 01:44:40,644
- See you at the PTA meeting.
- Okay, foxy.
1774
01:44:54,920 --> 01:44:57,161
Yeah! Base on!
1775
01:44:57,720 --> 01:44:59,927
This is so good, honey.
1776
01:45:00,080 --> 01:45:03,004
- This is family.
- This is fun for me.
1777
01:45:08,000 --> 01:45:10,480
- Way to go, Dad.
- One out to go.
1778
01:45:10,640 --> 01:45:13,803
But Standard Fence
has a rally going.
1779
01:45:13,960 --> 01:45:19,205
Now batting, number
23, Tyler Reynolds.
1780
01:45:21,520 --> 01:45:24,683
- Hey, that's not nice!
- Shut up. That kid's awful.
1781
01:45:24,880 --> 01:45:27,167
Go Tyler!
1782
01:45:27,320 --> 01:45:28,560
Tracy.
1783
01:45:29,360 --> 01:45:31,169
What's your head doing here?
1784
01:45:51,600 --> 01:45:53,443
Strike one!
1785
01:45:53,840 --> 01:45:55,604
I'm so sorry Mark
didn't show up.
1786
01:45:56,040 --> 01:46:00,204
He just doesn't get it, you know? Your kids
have to come first 100 percent of the time.
1787
01:46:00,560 --> 01:46:03,370
Well, like, 99 percent. You
get one percent for yourself.
1788
01:46:04,320 --> 01:46:05,685
- That's great news.
- Heh.
1789
01:46:06,080 --> 01:46:09,289
Well, no matter what, you have
to show up for your kids.
1790
01:46:10,400 --> 01:46:11,686
Like him.
1791
01:46:11,880 --> 01:46:15,202
- Hey, hey! All right, big time!
- Come on, Tyler!
1792
01:46:15,360 --> 01:46:17,044
Looking good out there!
1793
01:46:18,880 --> 01:46:20,405
Get that elbow up!
1794
01:46:20,760 --> 01:46:21,966
Elbow up!
1795
01:46:22,320 --> 01:46:23,970
Incredible.
1796
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:30,761
Come on, Tyler.
1797
01:46:33,240 --> 01:46:34,446
Strike two!
1798
01:46:34,600 --> 01:46:35,886
All right, all right!
1799
01:46:38,480 --> 01:46:41,563
Nice cut, nice cut.
Slow it down a little bit.
1800
01:46:41,720 --> 01:46:44,724
Bend those knees.
Balance, okay?
1801
01:46:44,880 --> 01:46:47,326
Take care of this.
That's it.
1802
01:46:47,480 --> 01:46:49,403
Elbow up. Higher, higher.
1803
01:46:49,920 --> 01:46:51,684
Now, remember the stink eye.
1804
01:46:55,400 --> 01:46:57,687
The mustache is rattled.
1805
01:46:57,840 --> 01:46:59,171
Come on, Tyler, let's go!
1806
01:46:59,320 --> 01:47:00,810
Take them deep.
1807
01:47:18,920 --> 01:47:20,001
You hit it!
1808
01:47:20,520 --> 01:47:22,124
Run, Tyler, run!
1809
01:47:30,200 --> 01:47:32,441
Keep going, brother! Go!
1810
01:47:33,480 --> 01:47:34,606
Go now!
1811
01:47:35,640 --> 01:47:37,529
Don't hesitate. Come, come!
1812
01:47:39,680 --> 01:47:41,489
Come to me, big time!
1813
01:47:41,680 --> 01:47:44,206
Go! Run to me!
1814
01:47:45,720 --> 01:47:47,290
Keep it going, Tyler!
1815
01:47:47,480 --> 01:47:49,289
We're going home, baby!
1816
01:47:49,720 --> 01:47:51,324
We're going home!
1817
01:47:53,040 --> 01:47:54,201
Safe!
1818
01:47:54,400 --> 01:47:56,209
Yeah! Yes!
1819
01:47:58,520 --> 01:48:00,841
Do you believe in miracles?
1820
01:48:03,960 --> 01:48:05,405
Yeah! Whoo!
1821
01:48:05,600 --> 01:48:09,047
Yeah! That's my brother!
1822
01:48:09,640 --> 01:48:11,404
Ha, ha! Whoo.
1823
01:48:12,080 --> 01:48:13,411
Thank you.
1824
01:48:13,560 --> 01:48:15,927
All you in there, big time.
1825
01:48:16,440 --> 01:48:18,204
Oh, my God!
1826
01:48:21,360 --> 01:48:22,691
What are you doing?
1827
01:48:23,640 --> 01:48:25,085
I love you!
1828
01:48:25,880 --> 01:48:27,723
That was amazing.
1829
01:48:27,880 --> 01:48:31,168
I'm so sorry to show up like this.
I was at your house the other day...
1830
01:48:31,320 --> 01:48:34,722
...and I saw your ex-husband blow off
Tyler when he wanted to practice.
1831
01:48:34,880 --> 01:48:38,009
I know you guys are trying to work
it out, but it broke my heart.
1832
01:48:38,720 --> 01:48:41,291
We're not working it out.
That's never gonna happen.
1833
01:48:41,720 --> 01:48:42,767
Really?
1834
01:48:44,520 --> 01:48:46,761
What were you doing at my house?
1835
01:48:47,160 --> 01:48:49,606
I came by to tell you that...
1836
01:48:51,120 --> 01:48:53,964
...I think it's okay now.
1837
01:48:55,000 --> 01:48:56,490
Okay for what?
1838
01:48:56,640 --> 01:49:00,247
Okay to have one of those
rare, rare moments...
1839
01:49:00,400 --> 01:49:02,129
...where we get what we want.
1840
01:49:02,560 --> 01:49:04,562
Oh.
1841
01:49:04,760 --> 01:49:06,444
Well, what do we want?
1842
01:49:07,320 --> 01:49:08,970
You know what we want.
1843
01:49:10,280 --> 01:49:13,648
Yeah. I think the
kids want it too.
1844
01:49:14,160 --> 01:49:17,323
Not as much as I do there,
schlumpy shoulders.
1845
01:49:19,360 --> 01:49:20,850
Wait.
1846
01:49:21,640 --> 01:49:23,130
I can't do this.
1847
01:49:24,320 --> 01:49:25,321
You're kidding me.
1848
01:49:25,760 --> 01:49:28,809
Heh. Totally. I just had to
get you back for Africa.
1849
01:49:28,960 --> 01:49:30,041
Come on.
1850
01:49:39,960 --> 01:49:41,530
You know something?
1851
01:49:41,720 --> 01:49:43,802
Your mom is hot.
1852
01:49:43,960 --> 01:49:45,883
Your dad's pretty hot too.
1853
01:49:47,040 --> 01:49:48,485
Not hot.
1854
01:49:50,960 --> 01:49:52,400
Come on, you deserve
a nice massage.
1855
01:49:54,000 --> 01:49:56,321
- Ow! Oh, it's good.
- Come on, you like that.
1856
01:49:56,520 --> 01:49:58,761
- Oh, it hurts so good.
- Sorry.
1857
01:50:02,440 --> 01:50:04,124
♪ ♪ Look, they're blending. ♪
1858
01:50:04,320 --> 01:50:06,004
♪ Hearts are mending. ♪
1859
01:50:06,200 --> 01:50:08,328
♪ Sad times ending ♪
♪ Good times spending. ♪
1860
01:50:08,480 --> 01:50:09,686
♪ With love. ♪
1861
01:50:10,280 --> 01:50:12,328
♪ Kids are friending. ♪
1862
01:50:12,480 --> 01:50:13,686
♪ Wedding trending. ♪
1863
01:50:14,200 --> 01:50:18,091
♪ Blending, friending, blending, ♪
♪ friending Movie ending ♪
139787
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