All language subtitles for The.Last.Time.2006.720p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H264-FGT

Look, I'll be in and out
of there before you know it.

In fact,
I'll bring you some lunch.

We can talk over a sandwich
if you like.

Of course,
I can send you a brochure.

Why don't our aides follow-up
again in about 10 business days.

Allow me to send you a CD-ROM
outlining our entire production plan.

One thing I can promise you
is that at our first meeting

I will not be trying to sell
you a single solitary thing.

I just want to get to know
you and your company.

We did this last year,
but the upgrades on

all the parts is
the only way to guarantee...

If I knew where
Westchester, New York was,

I'd be in the city in 20 minutes
to show you our new product.

I know it's a big investment.

That's why I spent
a great deal of time

customizing this plan for you.

Don't make me come show
you how to do your fucking job.

The Saint Paul office
is really struggling.

Same with Phoenix and Tulsa.

John is really
starting to worry.

Hi, Jaime.

Process analysis,
sample filtration...

Yeah,
the vacuum inlet-outlet.

I'll get back to
you on that, sir.

I think it's 22 BLI, but...
Hello? Hello?

Yes, I will take care
of everything

from implementation to training.

It's my pleasure, please.

Look, I've talked to
my manager. That's my best offer.

No, wait, wait, wait.
I can do better.

Larry, wife three on line two.

Shit!

Guardia can't touch that price.

How? Because it is my job to have
that information. Oh, really?

You know what? Fuck you.

I don't need your
fucking business.

Fuck you, you fucking fuck!

Morning, Ted.
Hey.

He'll be with you in a moment.

Oh, hey. Ted.

Thanks for coming in.

How's it going with Jaime?

He's an idiot.

I wanted you to be the first
one to see the DLX 179.

Six years in the pipeline.
The R&D guys finally did it.

It's like I always say.

Success is the sum of small efforts
repeated day in and day out.

Do you realize how much money we're
gonna make selling this thing?

In the first six months,
I bet we make like...

Oh, hey, hold on.
Hold on! Hold on!

Hold, hold, hold, hold.

All right! All right!
The truth is

I want to talk about
the upcoming quarter.

I know. I know.
I'm a big pain in the ass,

but the fact is as your sales
go, so goes the whole team's.

Do you remember Fisher?
From Cincinnati?

Yeah, he's a prick.

Yeah, well, he was also
a topnotch salesman,

and then he starts
hitting the bottle,

and before you know it, the whole Midwest
division sales go down with him.

I'm telling you, if we don't
meet this quarter's projections,

it's going to be sayonara
for old John boy here.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

Well, you better
learn to sell shoes

or suck cock real fucking fast.

I'm really excited
to be in New York.

It's always been
a dream of mine.

New York, New York.
It's a heck of a town.

My mom loved that song.

So John tells me that you are the
number one salesman in the division,

maybe the whole company.

You know, I was the number one
salesman in my old job. Yep.

Wow.

So, uh, what do you say, since
we're both reigning champs,

that we have a little friendly

sales competition this quarter

for say dinner
at Le Bernardin's?

I'll take that as a yes.

How about if I sweeten
the pot a little bit?

Put this baby in, huh?

I sold more than
my entire division

put together to earn this baby.

This trophy makes me so happy.

Nobody's happy.
I'm happy.

No, you're not.
You're miserable.

You don't even know me. Trust me.
Your life sucks.

No, no, my life is
actually pretty good.

What's so great
about your fucking life?

I've got a new job.
I've got a new house.

I'm getting married soon.

I've finally started
taking art classes.

Yeah, listen, Jimmy.
Jaime.

Yeah, like it fucking matters.

Everything you see, everything
you feel, is nothing.

This job, this car,

that polyester bargain-basement
suit you're wearing

is totally meaningless.

As far as beating me
is concerned,

what you should worry about
is getting one sale,

'cause if you don't,

'cause if you fucking don't, they're
gonna ship your sorry ass back to...

Where the fuck
are you from again?

I'm from Solon, Ohio.
Really?

Yeah. It's a pretty cool place.
Yeah.

Pretty cool place? Really?

Then why the fuck did you leave,

you sorry son of a bitch?

It was, uh, working great
this morning.

I even laid in all the schematics
digitally for simplicity, right, Ted?

Right. Well.

What you would be seeing
if this thing was,

you know, working...

Wait. Oh, there it is.
That's good. Okay. Good.

All right...

All right. Just forget it.
Look, we'll...

I'm sure it's a great
product and everything,

but to be perfectly honest, Guardia
is gonna be in here later on today

and their CEO, Ronnie Leguzza,

he and I are old poker buddies,

so we're probably
gonna go with them.

I see. Well, this was
my first sales call

so maybe next time
I could probably...

Try again when that
new DLX technology

I've been hearing about
is available.

DLX? Yeah, sure.

Hey, Barney!
Give me a second, okay?

Yeah.
Okay. Okay. Thanks.

Hey, who's Leguzza?
Shut the fuck up.

Who the fuck is...

You know, when we
first got into this,

it was just us and the Japanese.

Is that right?
Yeah.

Then the Swiss got in, then the
Germans, then the goddamn French.

I hate those goddamn French.
Yeah.

But we still manage
to move 40,000 units

out of this factory alone,
every month.

Is that right?
Yeah.

Man. Barney, honestly,
I have to tell you something.

I'd heard all the talk
about this place,

you know, blah, blah,
blah and everything.

This is everything
everybody said it was.

It's fantastic. Really. Thank you, Ted.
Thank you.

Really. It's great.

Wow!
Yeah.

Hey, I have a question
for you, Barney. Yep.

Do I have "asshole"
written on my forehead?

Excuse me?
Listen, fat man.

I didn't want to embarrass you

in front of your flunkies,
but I'll tell you this.

Next quarter, I'll be standing
here with your replacement

while you're off somewhere selling
soap to blue-haired fucking ladies

who don't have a pot to piss in.

What the hell are
you talking about?

Every fucking thing you doled out to us
in there is bullshit and you know it.

Things have been a little slow
lately, but they're turning around.

The only thing turning
is my stomach.

What the fuck am I even
doing here with you?

I'll tell you another thing.

There are at least 50 other companies
out there we can be servicing

who won't be wasting
our fucking time.

Ted! Can I talk to you
for just a second?

Hey, man.
How you doing?

Got the week off
to a right start?

Yeah.

Hey, Ma. How you doing?

Yeah?

Yeah?

What do you think?

I know.
I knew you'd like it.

Well. Come on.
That's okay. It's okay.

'Cause I can afford it,
that's why. Yeah.

Yeah. Hey, did you go
to the doctor?

What did he say about your hip?

Mom, listen to me.

No.

'Cause it's important,
that's why.

Listen, don't make me
drag you down there myself.

Promise? Okay.

No. I'm sure
she's a nice girl.

No, I gotta go.
I got work to do.

Yeah. No.

No. Yeah.

Tell Marco I said hi.

Okay. I love you, too.

It'll give you a chance
to see the house.

Come on, you'll love it.

Can you do me a favor?

If it's possible, can you
just not say anything

about the remote possibility
of me getting fired

if I don't get a sale
this quarter?

You know, I don't want
Belisa to get worried.

So I guess Le Bernardin is out?

I'm still gonna
beat you, you know.

It's just gonna take me a
little longer than I planned.

This is a nice surprise.

Yeah, you are, too.

I just dropped by

because I'm looking
for that address

for this afternoon's
appointment.

Check next to the stuffed
panda on the dresser.

Okay. Okay.

Oh...

I'm sorry. Ted,
this is my fiancee, Belisa.

Belisa, this is Ted.

Hey.
Hi.

She's been dying to meet you.

I'll be right back.

He can be a little
forgetful at times.

Yeah, I know.

Could you hand me
that hunting knife, please?

Yeah.

There you go.
Thanks.

Still waiting for him
to bag his first elephant.

I can't find it!

Check in the den!

I did.

Oh. This fucking thing.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.
Don't worry about it.

Do you want something to drink?

What have you got?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing.

I figured you'd say no
so I just took a chance,

but it didn't really work out.

I'm sure Jaime mentioned it,

but he invited
the entire neighborhood

over for a barbecue
this Saturday.

He didn't say anything.

Don't bother asking.
Ted doesn't do barbecues.

Thanks. Found it.

Well, it would be really nice.

At least I would know someone.

I'll give it some thought.

No, really. You could be
my badminton partner.

Yeah. I'm gonna
wait in the car.

All right.
Here you go.

It was really nice meeting you.
Thanks.

I'm gonna wait outside.

Okay.
See you in a bit.

Nice to meet you.

Thanks. I was looking
everywhere for this.

Hey, isn't Belisa great?

Great.

The house needs a little work.

The gardener could use
a kick in the pants.

Yeah, great.
Everything is great.

You mean it?
No.

You're kidding, right?

A house, fucking mortgage,
neighbors and that bullshit.

You didn't like Belisa?

Belisa's great.
No, she's great.

She may even stick around
for a little while,

but eventually she's going
to break your heart.

She'll leave your rotting
soul gasping for air

while her new boyfriend sodomizes
you right out of her memory.

What? What the hell
are you talking about?

You know what?
I'll never understand

why people think
their pathetic lives

are somehow going to get better

just 'cause they
get fucking married.

Why they get divorced,
that I get. That's easy.

I don't want to hear
any more of this.

Listen,
first of all, sunshine...

Don't call me sunshine.

There's no limit to the problems

a woman is going to
bring to your life.

Dante didn't
scratch the surface.

It is fucking endless.
Infinite.

It goes on and on and on.

You know, maybe you
just need to fall in love.

Love? What kind of love
are you talking about?

Are you talking about real love?

Are you talking about true love?

Are you talking
about this suburban

bullshit fantasy
we've been milk fed

so we don't slit
each other's throats?

Maybe you just need to get laid.

Really? I get a piece
of ass anytime I want.

I could even fuck you
with a little effort.

That's not funny, okay.
Don't even go there.

Excuse me?

Can you tell me where
Route 304 is please?

Blow me.

Well, does anyone know
why he's so angry?

He was probably
beaten as a child.

Oh, how I hope.

Why do they put up with him?

Because that son of a bitch is responsible
for 70% of this division's sales.

I'll get him to lighten up.

Ted and I went on
a sales call together.

He told the client
to shove his cock

in my mouth if he
wants me to shut up.

So, either one of you new guys
broken your sales cherry?

Yeah? Mmm?

Uh-uh, I got nothing.

Ted says that they fire you if you don't
get a sale before the quarter is over.

Yeah, plus they burn down your
house and rape your wife.

Oh, yeah.

So, Mr. Funny Guy,
did you screw up

your first round
of interviews, huh?

What interviews?

For a management position.

Yeah, top man
in each sales office.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Misty. Oh...
- Top man?

Well, why don't they
just give it to Ted?

Ted?
Ted would never volunteer,

and I am next on the totem pole.

Barely.

We interview here
at the home office.

Chicago's got the opening.

Fucking lucky prick.

It's not luck, sweetheart.
Uh-huh.

Shit.

Ted.
Morning, Ted.

Hey, Ted.
How's it going?

You gonna join
the team this year?

So, as you can see,

these products not only
address your current needs,

but all of your
future requirements

in each and every one of your 20
facilities on the Eastern Seaboard.

And when it comes
to installation,

we can have them up
and running in what,

five to 10 business days.

Well, thank you.
I think we've heard enough.

If you please, just let
me finish, then I can...

You are finished.

You promised me five minutes.

I said your time is up.

If you'll just give me
a moment to explain to you

how our company can help you...

I've been doing this
for 27 years.

There's nothing you can tell
me that I don't already know.

Sir, I really need
this sale. I do.

I plan on starting a family.

I'm gonna get married.

I've got a family, too.

Reynolds here has two of them.

Three.

Good day, gentlemen.
We don't validate.

"I'm starting a family"?

"I'm starting a family."

I got flustered.

Tick. Tick. Tick.
Tick. Tick. Tick.

What the hell are you doing?

That's the time
ticking away on this quarter,

and you haven't made one sale.

Where the fuck did you
find this company, anyway?

Do you know you
could've helped me?

I'm not your fucking wet nurse.

Why don't you draw on all that
experience you allegedly have?

What the hell is
that supposed to mean?

That means, I don't think you're
half the salesman you claim to be.

You know what, Ted?

I'm gonna beat you this quarter.

All right.

Okay?
Yeah.

And the only reason why is just to
get you to shut your fucking mouth.

Can I help you, sir?

No, thanks.
I'm just looking.

Oh, hi.
Hey.

What are you doing here?

I'm supposed to be meeting Jaime
around the corner for lunch,

but his review is running late.

So, is this where
you spend your lunch hour?

No, I eat at a cafe
down the street,

but I had some extra time so I
thought I'd waste it in here.

Well, it's a nice place.

Yeah. Yeah,
it's really nice.

They have a great collection.

So, Jaime tells me you're the
number one salesman in the company.

I'm not too surprised. I met
a few of the other guys.

I'm not so sure
that's a compliment.

It is.

So, what's your secret?

Maybe Jaime can pick up on it.

As long as he's young, all you gotta
do is ignore your conscience.

Hmm.

I see.

So you're one of those dark,
brooding introspective types.

Now I understand.

Understand what?

Oh, nothing.

Here.

You should try
reading some Berlin.

He's also dark and brooding.

Yeah. Rimbaud is
more my speed.

You know your French poets.

I wasn't always a salesman.

So, come on, tell me.
I'm a big girl.

What's Jaime
doing wrong at work?

I mean, at his last company
he was the biggest star.

For starters, he's too happy.

He wants to be best buddies
with all of his clients.

I warned him that love-for-life
act wouldn't fly here.

The guy draws cartoons
on my lead sheets.

Yeah.
He loves that art class.

So,

what's your story?

Did you want to move
out here to New York?

I mean, you don't seem like
the doting housewife type.

No. I don't know
how much doting I do.

I'm not even sure I know how.

Back home I ran
a small art gallery.

Oh, well,
thus Jaime's art classes.

We were hoping moving to New York
would give us a fresh start.

We've been engaged
three different times.

Oh.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, I'm pretty confident
things will work out this time.

Or at least until some other guy

sodomizes him out of my memory.

Hey, you know what?

Jaime tells me everything.

Yeah, well, maybe he shouldn't.

You know...

You know, when I said...
Don't worry about it.

I gotta go. See you.

Firm handshake.
Look them in the eye.

Smile, smile, smile.
That's three smiles.

Ten Tips for Solution Selling,

it's always been there for me.

Yeah, when I started
selling three years ago,

I read every one of
these fucking books.

You've only been
selling for three years?

Every schmuck I know,
selling tampons to tobacco,

thinks this shit works.

Hey.
None of this shit works.

It does so.

Yeah. Really? Well, then
where are all your sales?

All right, Mr. Number One
Salesman, what's your advice?

Fuck you.
That's my advice.

Ted, look.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm just a little edgy.
I admit it. All right?

I got Whitman on my back.

I got bills piling up.

I got Belisa
giving me advice now.

What kind of advice?

Well, for one thing, she thinks that I'm
being too friendly with the clients,

and that's the reason why
I'm not getting any sales.

Maybe she's right.

Yeah, maybe.
Maybe I overreacted.

At any rate, I got her
this little gift, you know,

sort of a, kind of
a peace offering.

Jesus.
What?

She collects them.
I think they're nice.

Look, if you wanna
make her feel better...

What?

Get rid of that "Made
in Taiwan" piece of shit

and start making
some fucking money.

Why?
Listen, this is serious.

Every one of your competitors is going
to be up at Haverton today, okay?

Including Guardia.
You get it?

I got it.
Ted, this is going to be big.

It's gonna be huge.

Big. Big, big, big.
Really big. Huge.

We're gonna make a lot of money.

This job sucks dick!

How the hell could
he say no after that?

I maneuvered perfectly from the
three-fucking-point close deals

to the goddamn...

Fuck it!
Fuck them in the ass!

I was this close!

Damn it!

I got to calm down.
I got to calm down.

Yep.

Do you want a vitamin?

Look, Jaime,
you're trying really hard,

but you gotta quit being
such a fucking salesman.

People know when
they're being conned.

Excuse me? I'm not
trying to con anybody.

I know you're not.

But the way you
present yourself,

it seems that way.

That'll be Belisa.

Hi, honey.
How are you?

It went great.

Of course I got the sale.

I can't wait to
tell you all about it.

Nothing to worry about.

Okay. All right, sweetie.

See you soon.

I love you.

What?

I didn't want to disappoint her.

Yeah.

She's cooking a big
celebration dinner.

She's not a very good cook.

Fuck this.
Let's get a drink.

What the fuck am I doing here?

Hey, honey. Dinner will
be ready in just one second.

Oh, my God!

I think this belongs to you. Hi.

What happened?

He had a few too many
of everything.

Get up.

Another bad day?

Oh, yeah. Well,
he almost got a sale.

Shit. I don't think I can take
another night of him crying.

I don't think you're gonna get
much of anything from him tonight.

Would you please help me
take him upstairs?

Yeah. Here we go.

Just throw him on the bed.

I don't know how many more nights I
can take of the supportive-wife act.

We're not even fucking married.

Hey, I'm gonna get going.

Can you help me?

How much longer is Bineview
going to put up with this?

Probably not much longer.

Lift him up.
Okay.

Oh, God.

How come he isn't getting any sales?
What is he not doing?

Selling a product is simple.

What a salesman wants to do

is instill confidence
in his client.

That sounds simple enough.

Say I have a product,
really high quality,

and even if it isn't, I'm gonna
convince my client that it is.

And any product

that will satisfy
all your needs,

show immediate dividends,

becomes the bottom line.

Why can't he do that?

Maybe it's not that simple.

I guess that's why
you're so good.

Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe I'm just
really good.

I don't know.

Do you know where I can get
something to eat around here?

Cafeteria's on two.

Who's that fucking guy?

That's the top man
from Baton Rouge.

He didn't make it to round two.

Damn. Looks like someone
beat the crap out of him.

Yeah. Rumor is he had some
gambling problems back home,

ran in with
a bookie or something.

Fuck him. Yeah, I don't
really give a shit.

All I know is there's only eight
of us left for the Chicago job.

What the fuck were you
thinking last night?

Fucking idiot, fuck.
Jesus Christ.

All right. I just gotta
think about this now.

Never ever again.
Never fucking...

Our products just
aren't that good,

and things are down in just about
every one of Bineview's divisions.

And the truth is Leguzza signed
up half the town 10 years ago

when the WVX was launched.

Now they're sending
me away for five days

to this sales focus
bullshit seminar.

Yeah, I went to that.
Worthless.

Hey, guys.
Looks like one of us

isn't getting fired at
the end of the quarter.

I'm sorry, what?

I just got Plexar
to buy four BLR compressors.

Congratulations, Alvarez.

You are no longer the low man
on the totem pole.

Thank you.

Hey, Ted. Hey, look,
I'm on the board!

Hey, Riker!

Look, why don't you
take your loss

and sell your boy here
for spare body parts?

Cut him up and sell him.

You seem to forget how pathetic you
were when you first started out.

You didn't have a sale for six fucking
months. What are you talking about?

You almost shit your pants in front
of the president of Gyro Tech.

I thought you were gonna cry
like a little fucking girl.

So shut your fucking mouth, and
fuck you, too, you sleazy cunt.

You'd fuck a mailbox
if it had tits.

Congratulations, Alvarez.

Thanks.

Fuck you, too.

Hey.

Thanks for sticking up
for me back there.

I told you those guys were
fucking pricks. Yeah.

Didn't I?

The thing I can't understand is

how the hell that spic
got a sale before I did.

I mean, what's wrong with me?

It never used to be this hard.

I gotta make some fucking money.

Listen to me.

You don't chase money,
you build clients.

My life is shit.
It's a big bag of shit.

But you know what?
It's not just the sales.

If that were my only problem,
I would be a happy man.

All right what?
What is it?

You were right.

It was just a matter of time.

Just a matter of time
before she...

She what? Who? What?

Who? Belisa.
Who else? She...

She's...

There's a meeting...

Hey, you wanna give us
a fucking minute here?

Yeah, go ahead.

She wants to delay the wedding.

What?

She said that she needs some
time to think things through.

She said that she's confused.

Suddenly she's the one
that's confused.

Fuck.

So she's confused.

It's no big deal.
It's just, you know...

You're taking her side?

No, I'm just saying. All she said
was confused. Confused is...

I don't know
what the fuck to do.

Well, what do you think, Ted?

About what?

About Belisa?
Yeah.

I don't know.

All right. What kind of things
does she enjoy, you know?

What makes her feel special?

I mean, that's basically
what women want.

Well...

You know, I don't really feel
like talking about this.

Fine. Forget it.

She likes scented candles.

She likes zinfandel.
Can you believe that?

All right.
That's a start.

She likes Billie Holiday.

There you go.

Lilies.

She just thinks I am
the world's biggest loser

because I can't get a sale.

All right, listen.

John Schaudry over at Magamate,

he needs a new
hydro converter valve system.

All you gotta do is
fill out the paperwork.

He's a decent guy.

Ted, what are you doing?

You can take this up when
you go up to the

stupid fucking
focus group you're going to.

Come on, Ted.
Look, I can't.

Here, just take that. I don't
want any handouts, all right.

I'm not giving you a handout.
It's a no-brainer.

It's just easy to fucking do.
No big fucking deal.

Ted, I can't.

Here. His cell's on there.

Just take the fucking card.

Just take the fucking card.

It's not a big deal.
Here you go.

Thank you.

You know, you're probably right.

I just need a little
shove in the back.

Yeah, just to put you on
the right track. Right.

It'll come back. I'll
get my game back. Yeah.

You know, you're a good friend.

I'm gonna go to
the conference now.

Hey, thanks a lot.
Yeah.

Hey.
Hey.

You told me that you ate here.

Yeah.

Sit down.

I just wanted to
come by and apologize...

No, don't.

For the other night.

I don't know what came over me.

It was crazy.

It was like a dream
or something, you know?

God, that sounded
like a cop-out.

Well, listen, I never...

Don't, please.

New York isn't what I expected.

I was drunk from the champagne.

It was...
It was crazy.

I said that already, though.

It's like something I would've done
in college without thinking about it.

I've been beating myself up
about it all day. I just...

Yeah, well,
that makes two of us.

Thanks. That's all
I wanted to say. Bye.

Hey, you wanna get
something to eat?

They have really
good lasagna here.

Hey.

Hey,

let's do something fun.

Okay. Come with me.

Yes!

Is to not let the client
know that you're selling to them.

But at the same time, find
an effective way to respond

to their goal-oriented
business needs

through product knowledge
and service availability.

Don't fall into the trap of
explaining your philosophies of life,

experiences in the trenches or
your future prognostications.

Business owners want to hear
real, present-day solutions

to their ever-changing, industry-specific
issues, concerns and challenges.

I'm telling you,
people come here

knowing they're not
gonna make any money,

knowing they're
gonna lose money.

Is that why I won so much?

The way you played, it's hard to
believe you've never gambled before.

Well, maybe you're
my good luck charm.

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong
men believe in cause and effect."

Emerson.

Very good.

I told you I wasn't
always a salesman, right?

What did you do?

Guess.

You were a doctor.
No.

You were a priest.

No. Guess again.

You were a biochemical engineer.

No.

You were a teacher.

What made you say teacher?

It was a good guess.

I taught English Literature
at Northwestern.

I was about to go on a tour and
lecture in Italy a couple years back.

It was a good guess.

It was a good guess.

Do you miss it?

Yep, once in a while.

How'd you end up at Bineview?

Oh, man.

Sometimes you wind up in a place

never in a million years
you thought you would.

Hmm.

And the days just
disappear on you.

When am I gonna see you again?

His art class is the only
reason he goes out at night.

Unless, of course,

you take a few days
off from work.

Thank you.
Thanks.

I don't know.

I've got a lot of clients.

You know,
I've got appointments and...

Then I guess you're just
gonna have to wait.

I guess I will.

In the meantime,
you can get some practice

missing me while I go
to the ladies' room.

Hey. John.

Hi. Good morning, Ted.

Mr. Bashant.

Hey, there. Hi.
Mr. Roberts.

No. My name's Brad.

Mr. Roberts asked me to
meet with you in his place.

Oh, uh...

I see.

Oh, well, should we go upstairs?

Actually, it's pretty
busy up there.

If it's all the same,
we can talk here.

Very well.

Well, as you know,
I'm from Bineview,

and I'm here to discuss the way

that our company's
long-term technologies

can increase your productivity.

I mean, by now,
we would have expected

that you would have had
at least one sale.

Yeah.

I mean, I know it's
a tough transition and all,

but with your experience you
should be killing it out there.

I know. It's just...

Look, you can ask anybody, okay?
When it comes to my staff,

I am a cupcake.

I understand how salesmen
can fall on hard times.

Lord knows I've been there
myself, okay?

But I have got to get
my troops moving here

or they're going to hang my ass
from the highest flagpole in town.

I just want you to know

that this is not coming from any lack
of effort whatsoever on my part.

I'm really, really,
really trying out there.

Yeah. What? What?
I am under...

Give! Go!

Thank you.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah.

Okay. I'm just
under a lot of pressure.

I don't have any friends
in this town,

and I'm getting married, and my fiancee
is getting a little frustrated,

and the products
are pretty confusing.

You got this BZ, the BTA...

BLR. BLR.

That and...
You gotta focus.

You've got to know
the name of the product.

BRL, but then there's the
RBL, and the frigging HB...

I mean, I understand the...

On top of that, everything is so
freaking expensive in this town!

Hey! All right, calm down. Just
calm the fuck down, all right?

Please, don't fire me.

Nobody is firing anybody!

All right. Don't fire me.
Calm down.

I'm not firing you. Easy.
Please.

Okay, okay.

Hey, I got something
that is gonna make you feel

a whole lot better, all right?

What?

Now, I'm not even supposed
to be talking about this.

But this little baby is gonna make
our jobs a hell of a lot easier.

Is that what I think it is? Yes.

And I want you around
when we launch that puppy.

Okay. All right.
Okay?

So remember.
Yeah?

When you're faced with a difficult
task, you act like you cannot fail.

Okay?
Yeah.

When you're going out
after Moby Dick,

you take along the tarter sauce.

Right?
Yeah.

You got it? Good.
Got it.

They can show up with... What are
they called? Like, little bags

and little yoga mats.

You know what? This is where Eugene
O'Neill used to come and write.

Really?
Yep.

In fact, they said he finished

the Long Day's Journey
into Night here.

Oh, shoot.

Fuck.

It's the office.
I gotta take this.

No, you don't.

Yeah, I do.
No, you don't.

Okay, you're right.
You're right.

A salesman is not a salesman
when he's not selling.

Did you get him?

I'm serious.
That means something.

Why'd you say eww?

'Cause I didn't
want to look at that.

I told you this was
more fun than working.

Oh, man.

The way my sales are going, I'm going
to avoid the office at all cost.

I'm sure a bit of that
is my fault.

I'm a big boy.
I can make my own decisions.

I know. Yeah.
Yeah.

The Picture of Dorian Gray.

This was one of my
favorite books in college.

Really?
Uh-huh.

I taught that every semester.

You did?
Yeah.

God, I haven't
read this in years.

So do you think we pay for our
sins now, or later, like Dorian?

Actually,
I think the real issue is

whether or not we
recognize the damage

our sins are doing to our
souls before it's too late,

if you want to know the truth.

I'm not sure I agree with that
interpretation, Professor.

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

Then you would have
failed my class.

You'd hit me with a ruler?

If that's what you needed.

You ever think about going back?

It's not that easy.

Why not?

Because, you know...

Because to, you know...

To teach, I mean,
to truly inspire,

you have to pour your
soul out to a student.

You have to water each one like it's the
last surviving plant in the garden.

All teachers
should be like that.

What happens if
you run out of water?

I understand that
it's tough out there.

And that is why you have to
forget about the business outlook

and you have to be on the
outlook for business.

We have reached DEFCON 1.

We are not meeting
our self-imposed,

and I might add, mutually agreed
upon goals for this quarter.

What the
fuck is he talking about?

And our time is ticking away.

Tick, tick, tick, tick.

Tick, tick, tick, tick. Tick.

Tick, tick, tick, tick. Tick.

Motherfucker!

I know what you're thinking.

You don't want to do it.

I don't? 'Cause he's been
acting like a fucking lunatic.

You know, I hate to
see anybody struggle,

but sometimes there is
no success like failure.

Besides, the way things
are going around here,

I'm gonna have to let
somebody go pretty soon.

Look, John, you're the guy
who hired Jaime. Right?

Yeah.

Okay, well,
this company laid out

a great deal of cash
to uproot him.

They've got moving costs,
you gotta find him a house,

you gotta give him
a signing bonus,

all the bullshit that goes along
with moving someone here.

Now, personally,
I don't give a fuck

one way or another whether
you fire him or not,

but four guys in six months,

that's a lot of
red ink to cover up.

You think I should give
him another chance, huh?

You can send him on one of those

weekend focus groups.
It helped him last time.

Hey, John, what's going on?

You guys are making our lives in
Accounts Receivable a little too easy.

We're so bored,
I had to take up smoking.

Yeah, the quarter's
not over yet.

Fucking bitch.

Fuck her. She's just
a glorified bookkeeper.

Hey, I've got some
really big clients

coming to this
conference tomorrow.

Send Jaime along as a backup.
Really?

Well, you need the sales,
plus it will keep these pricks

here and there at bay.

It's what you want.

Okay, I'll give him one week.

Two weeks.
Two weeks.

Listen, this could be the perfect
place to put you back on track.

I've met some of my
biggest clients here.

Hey, Chuck.

I haven't met any clients anywhere,
anyplace, anytime, anyhow.

Look, you're in a slump.
You snap out of those things.

You sure as hell don't want to lose
this job and move back to Ohio.

I don't know, maybe it's the
best thing for us to do.

Would you gentlemen
like to come over

and look at our
new boiler system?

Sure, if you can tell me
if it's a system

of interlocking
polycarbonate lining

or if it's the tubular
magnesium dioxide variety.

I'm not exactly sure.

Give her a break.
She's a slut.

In an economy
where fly-by-night

dot-com companies
come and go,

we represent one of
the many industries

that actually makes something.

You can grab hold of what we do.

We are the foundation
for America.

"Go with Guardia." These
guys are fucking everywhere.

You're right.
There's Leguzza.

Oh, my God.

That Pillsbury Doughboy
is the legend

everyone's been talking about?

Don't let appearances fool you.

That merciless son of a
bitch has ridden roughshod

over this industry for decades.

He used to screw his
competitors' secretaries

just to get information.

Do you know this guy?
Yeah.

He tried to buy me off
a couple years ago

'cause I was signing away
some of his clients.

Yeah, I can't wait to see the look
on his big fat face next year

when all anybody's
talking about is the DLX.

Technology, like all
the other industries,

will shape our future.
Now we at Guardia...

You know what, Ted?
You're absolutely right.

I don't want to go
back to Ohio a failure.

I gotta get my shit together.
Good, good.

Then start changing right now,

'cause this guy coming up here

is one of my
biggest clients, okay?

Imprint Industries.
He's a good guy.

Hey!
Ted.

How are you there?
Good to see you.

Fine. I was hoping
I'd get to see you here.

Well, yeah. This is my new
partner, Jaime Bashant.

Hi, how do you do?
My pleasure.

Come on.

It was like three years ago they used
to hold these things in motel lobbies.

That's right.
Yeah.

It was in the...

A long time...

Forget it.

Yeah, sure have come a long way.

Oh, yeah, you bet.

Yeah, we really have.

Speaking of long way,

I'll bet you that old system you
have up there in White Plains

is about ready to
give up the ghost.

Well, you might be right,
but I'm not sure

we need to replace
the entire system.

Well, Toby, I think
you should reconsider.

Hey, we're not buying
any of this horseshit

that you're doling out,
you cocksucker.

Ted?

He's kidding.

We've got like 20 companies lined
up to do business with us.

He does that thing...

You know, why don't you just go and
sell blue-haired old soap bags

to ladies, old ladies with gray
hair who piss their pants.

I'm gone.

Yeah, well. Your stomach's
making me turn.

He'll be back.

What?

You prick.

You weak, fucking, Midwestern

bad suit and stupid haircut
motherfucking prick!

Ted.

You know how important
that fucking guy is to us?

I'm just trying to be like you.

What?

You fuck.

Wow, you really are
a fucking loser.

How the fuck did I
get stuck with this guy?

Fucking waste of time,
these conferences.

But they make
great theater, right?

You look familiar.

You work for me?

No, I'm over at Bineview.

Bineview.
Yeah.

Our illustrious neighbor.

Food.

What do you need here, man?
Jaime.

Hey, Ted.

Hey.

I'm sorry to bother you
when you're not feeling well.

No, no, no, no, it's good.
Don't worry about it.

Okay.

Do you want to come in?
For a drink?

Well, I mean, I don't
really have anybody here.

I don't have
anything here, so...

I don't keep any alcohol here.

No, it's all right.
Yeah.

What are you doing?

I got something for you.

This.

Why?

'Cause you won the bet.

And I don't even think I'm gonna
get one sale at this point.

I can't catch you,

and I even managed to fuck up that
easy one that you handed me last week.

Hey, take this
stupid fucking thing.

Jaime, take this.
I don't want it.

Come on, man, this is dumb.
Take the thing.

Jaime, I don't want it.
I don't want this.

I'll see you later, okay?

Jaime, come on.

Hope you feel better. Bye.

You know, you never told me
why you quit teaching.

That was Jaime out there.

What?

He stopped by to give me this.

Jesus.

Did he know I was here?

I don't know.

The guy's out there dying, and
we're in here fucking all day.

Shit.

I can't believe this.

Would you move in here with me?

Just get started
with your life right now.

It's not as simple as
just packing a bag, Ted.

I know, but the sooner you do
it, the easier it's gonna be.

Trust me, I know it.

I'm not one of
your clients, Ted.

Don't sell me.

Look, I'm gonna
tell him soon, I promise.

Yeah, it's okay.

I'll make it easier
for both of us. Just go.

I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
Just go.

Come on.
Sit down and talk to me.

Ted.
Just go.

My future wife, that bitch,
wants to take some time off.

Remember something, kid.

Marriage is not
an accomplishment.

It's a choice.
And it's the wrong one.

Fuck this place.

Hey, Ted, you're on your
way to Frogers, right?

Fuck off.

Hey, Ted, this is important.

Come on, we gotta close this deal!
I'm serious!

I'm just sick and tired
of dealing with this shit.

I never even wanted
to move to New York.

She's the one that convinced
me to take this job.

Why was I dealing with her?

I don't know
what I was thinking.

I've gotta fucking
stand up to this bitch

or she's gonna walk all over me.

Then she fucking
delays the wedding.

Who the fuck is she
to delay the wedding?

Hey, guys. Hold up.

What do you want?

Yeah, what do you want?

Nothing, really.

I just wanted to say goodbye.

They let me go.

They did?

Yeah, they're slashing
people left and right.

I mean, it's happening in every
office from here to Tacoma.

Why don't you try Guardia?

I don't think they hit their
affirmative action quota yet.

Yeah, Poncho.

Fuck you. At least
I made one sale.

Who's your wife banging
to keep your job?

What the fuck was that for?

Sorry.

Fuck this, I'm out of here.

What are you fucking looking at?

Just fuck off.

You want some, too?

Your fish seemed so lonely.
I just...

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna ask him
to move out tonight.

Is that what you want?

They finally fired
that son of a bitch Jaime.

Bastard.
What?

You made it to the final
round of interviews.

Well, I can't
baby-sit you forever.

Congratulations.

We're having our worst quarter
ever and he's getting a promotion?

Capitalism at its finest.

You get to go off to Chicago while
I'm stuck with that son of a bitch,

who, by the way, missed his
last three appointments.

I know, John. You did
everything you could.

The guy cost us Imprint
Industries for Christ's sakes.

I get it.
I understand.

Listen, another thing, don't
worry about this quarter,

'cause I got Glyrade
and I've got Parker Plastics

and I've got Lange all
coming in, next 10 days.

All right.
Good, good.

Well, looks like
he's back on track, huh?

Thank God.

Yeah, when your sales start
to get low like his have,

you're forced to be nice.

Yeah? Then why are you
still such a prick?

Fuck her.

Warned you not to go there.

She's got a point.
Fuck off.

So, you ready for lunch?

We've got reservations at
Mimosa in about 20 minutes.

Not exactly.

Why? What's the matter?

What's he doing here?

He came over early
this morning, crying.

What was I supposed
to do, kick him out?

Did you know
he'd been fired yesterday?

I know, I know.

You know,
I did everything I could.

Well, now he's come to the
conclusion that life has no meaning.

He won't take his
anti-depressants.

This is exactly
what I was afraid of.

All right.
What do you want me to do?

Just, can you get him off my
hands for a little bit, please?

Okay. What about lunch?

I need your help, please.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Let me do this.

He takes anti-depressants?

Yeah, he tells everybody
they're vitamins.

No wonder he's so
happy all the time.

Hey!
Hey! Riker!

What the fuck
are you doing here?

I just...

Do you mind?

Oh, sorry.

I heard about the job, and I just
wanted to see how you're doing.

Well, you know.

Hey, listen, come on.
Let's get out of here.

Why?

No, come on. Let's get...
I got food, I can sketch.

Bring your sketch pad.

Really?

I'm starved. I'm buying.

That's a great idea, man.
I'd like that.

Let's go.

No, I'm gonna stay here.

Come on. Come on.

You need to get out of here, cheer
you up or something. Come on.

What are you so happy about?
I don't know.

Just in a good mood, I guess.

Nobody's fucking happy, Ted.

Nobody is fucking happy.

Someone told me that once.

Matter of fact,
I'm gonna drive, okay?

Let's get the fuck out of here.

All right.
See you later, honey.

Be good. Come on.

Okay.

Wow.

Move it!
Watch the fucking road.

Don't you think...

Don't you think that you're taking
this misery thing a little too far?

How dour should I be?

My fiancee is seeing someone.

Who, Belisa?

Please, I found a book of
matches in her coat pocket

from some restaurant
in Atlantic City.

She's not smart enough
to find AC on her own.

Wait, you snooped
through her things?

Hell, yeah, I did.

Aren't you the one who said
that I shouldn't trust anybody?

Yeah, but...
Especially a woman?

Is that what you said?

Yeah, but I mean,
when I said that...

I have a pretty good idea
who it is, too.

My honeymoon is
supposed to be next week.

I should be packing for Jamaica
this very fucking minute!

Hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Watch this fucking... You're
right up on the guy's ass!

Watch the fucking road.
Keep your hands on the wheel!

Why, Ted?

Why what? Why what?

Why?
Why what?

Why doesn't Belisa
love me anymore?

I've given her everything!

I've given her
my heart, my soul!

I gave her
a Toyota Celica hatchback

with leather seats
and a CD player!

I'm the one who brought her
to fucking New York!

And now she doesn't even care
if I live or die!

Hey, whoa, whoa, watch the road!

Watch the fucking road!

Pull the fucking car
over here! I wanna drive!

I wanna drive the fucking car!

What are we doing at Bineview?

Let's just say that

I have some unfinished
business to take care of.

Hey, Ted, hang on.

What the fuck is
the matter with you?

What the hell is going on in there?
There? Oh, nothing.

Let's just say that I left
John a proper goodbye present.

Hey, let me tell you
something right now.

I don't want to be
a part of any...

I want you to know
that I've come

to a decision about
my so-called fiancee.

What's that?

I'm gonna kill her.

Hey, man, I don't want
to hear that crazy shit.

Relax, man.

I'm not gonna kill her.

I'm not gonna do that.

I'm just gonna maim that cunt.

Don't talk like that, man!

I'm serious.
Don't fucking say that shit.

You should see your face.
Let's go get lunch.

Let's get out of this
shithole. Come on, man.

Hello?

Hey. It's me.

Hey.

How you doing?
I'm fine.

Is he gone?

Yeah, he left this afternoon.

You okay?

I'm fine.

I'm worried about you.

Me?

I'm worried about you.

When he left, all he took
was his hunting knife.

That's all right.
I can handle myself.

I know you can.

It's just he has this,
you know, dark side to him.

You should see some of the
shit he's been drawing.

I wouldn't want anything
to happen to you.

Because I think I'm...

I think I'm...

You know. Forget it.

I gotta go.

I should probably go.
I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

Good night.

Twenty-five years
in this business,

I never witnessed
anything so horrible.

From 30 to eight.

I knew I should have sold.

I'm never hiring a fucking
relative as a stockbroker again.

I'm going to kill the
cocksucker this Christmas.

What am I gonna
tell my ex-wives?

Oh, fuck them.
I am really screwed.

Hey. Whisper numbers
say we're going to lose

60 cents per share this quarter.

And those pricks have
decided to close Chicago.

The management job is off.

Those miserable cocksuckers.

See you, Rog.

Who's your junkie boyfriend?

What? That's Richards from
the Southwest office.

You've got to be shitting me.

No. He was up
for Chicago, too.

Hey, you think we have it bad,

that guy just lost his home,
his wife and his kid.

Look, when are we gonna be able to
start selling that fucking thing?

Hey, have any of
you guys seen Ted?

No.

Well, neither has
Parker Plastics.

He was supposed to
close them today.

Our biggest client.

John, how's it going in there?

Not very fucking good.

What the fuck is
going on around here?

Hey, I was in an appointment
when you called.

You all right?

No, not really.

What's the matter?

I'm moving back to Ohio.

He showed up at 5:00
this morning and...

He needs to be with family.

I can't handle this on my own.

I just...
I can't abandon him.

I'm sorry.

When?

Tomorrow.

Belisa.

It was because of a woman.

What?

You asked me why I never
went back to teaching

and never moved to Italy.

It was because of a woman.

I woke up one day
and she was just gone.

We were living on
a teacher's salary

and money never really
meant anything to me.

She said it didn't mean
anything to her, either.

She lied.

So I've been carrying around
all this anger, all this hurt.

And I used that as an excuse
to be cold and hard.

Son of a bitch.

Let me show you what I've been
hiding all these years, okay?

Deep inside.

I'm really...

I'm sorry, Ted. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Hey, Ted, where you been?

I've been, you know,
doing stuff.

I've been around.

You do realize that the
quarter closes on Friday?

Yeah, I know.

So, we lost Parker Plastics.

I sent Breckenridge, totally
fucked the whole thing up.

What... What do you
hear on Lange?

On Lange? I'm gonna
head up there now.

Good, good. 'Cause we
can use every dollar.

Well, well, well.
Yeah, I know.

If it isn't Willy Loman, huh?

Look, Willy,

why don't you get yourself
a bowl of soup on me? Hmm?

Huh?

You know what?

You know, I've been a prick
to you for a long time.

And, you know, maybe I didn't
have a right to be. I don't know.

I don't know.

Sorry.

See you, John.

How the mighty have fallen.

If he doesn't sign
his next two deals,

this is gonna be the
next office they close.

Jaime went back to Ohio.

I stayed.

What's going on?

Hey, John.

What's going on?

Fuck off.

What happened? What do
you mean, what happened?

I told you how important this
quarter was, you motherfucker.

I was the first one to go.

I don't believe this.

Yeah, well, believe it,
sunshine.

Those pricks upstairs didn't
put up much of a fight.

Breckenridge is our number one
salesman for fuck's sake.

How'd Leguzza pull this off?

Mezzanine financing.

It wasn't even a stock swap.

The price was so low they
came up with the cash.

Every division's sales from
here to Seattle, way down.

The DLX 179 is gonna make
them a fucking fortune.

They're not even gonna
need a sales force.

Fucking Breckenridge!
What the hell was I doing?

That is for putting up with
your shit for three years,

you miserable cocksucker.

All I had to do
was dangle a young blonde

in front of that sick
fuck Crosby from Trenton.

He took the bait,
hook, line and sinker.

His trial starts next week.

It was only a matter of time

before I got Richards hooked
back on the white powder.

Sobriety is so easy to cure.

Pretty good.

But I got the number one guy
from Tacoma

to gamble away his home, his
car, even his kid's dental plan.

Last I heard, he was living downtown
in an empty refrigerator box.

Well, that little lady
from the Nashville office

still thinks she's
having my baby.

That phony doctor
had her so convinced,

she started having
morning sickness.

As soon as sales dipped below
60 mil for the quarter,

the stock plummeted.

Bineview's market cap
value dropped almost 30%

from this time last year.

Excellent.

I really
enjoyed the last three months.

I don't think I have ever had
that much fucking fun.

So tell us, Artie, how did you come
up with such a brilliant plan?

Funny enough, it was when the wife
and I were in Zimbabwe on vacation.

She'd been driving me crazy to see
these fucking elephants in the wild

ever since we first got married.

So one day we're tracking this
herd with the park rangers.

Now, if you know
anything about elephants,

you know they eat up to a ton
of vegetation every single day.

Now if the authorities let
them keep eating like that,

there wouldn't be a single
shrub left in the park.

It's a damn shame.

Belisa!

So, as fucked up as it sounds,

these rangers have to kill
hundreds of elephants every year

just so the others
don't starve to death.

What they do is they maim
the leaders of the herd,

and with the leaders out of
commission the others...

Belisa.

Become helpless and confused,

unaware of the bloody carnage
going on all around them.

It's an amazing sight.

They call it culling.

Belisa!

I knew Bineview's DLX technology

was gonna forever
revolutionize our industry.

And I also knew

I wasn't gonna pay their
asking price for the company.

Huh?

So I figured

if you can cull elephants,

why not salesmen?

Do you know where I can get
something to eat around here?

Cafeteria's on two.

Who the fuck is that guy?

That's the top man
from Baton Rouge.

Those miserable cocksuckers.

Who's your junkie boyfriend?

What? That's Richards from
the Southwest office.

Well, you definitely
targeted the right leaders.

Those 10 were responsible for
42% of Bineview's sales.

He desperately wanted
to be in show business,

so I got him to drop
every one of his clients

and begin rehearsing
seven days a week.

The schmuck actually thinks he's
opening for Cher next month in Reno.

Now that was a good one.

But I think we all know where
the best job of all was done.

You get close to them.

You find out who
they really are.

And then you tear
their insides out.

Oh, yes,
it was a thing of beauty.

I just don't know
how you pulled it off.

People are weak and vulnerable.

They're the ones that
make it easy to pull off.

Yeah, but Riker.

Ted?

The thing about Ted is that

he's just naive enough
not to care about money,

which made it all the more
challenging for both of us.

You should have seen
her with the books.

Every time he fucked her,

he'd offer me
one of his clients.

And every time,
I'd just piss them away.

A salesman with a conscience,
talk about impotent.

Hey, a little respect.

He's one of the sharpest
motherfuckers I ever met.

Bright, charismatic, heart of a poet.
Hell, I'd fuck him.

Once she got her tentacles
in him, it was all over.

She did. She just loved him.

You dump him and then
she walked all over him.

He didn't know
which way to turn.

Hey, pal.

Hey, I just remembered.

He wrote you a poem.
It came in the mail.

It's pretty good.

It goes like this.

"You've got gold inside of you

"If you look deep enough,
you'll see

"There's some gold
inside me, too"

There's no one better
than your team

at finding someone's
Achilles' heel.

I taught them well.

If you look deep enough,
you'll find it.

Some people need drugs.

Others need love.

Others have an affinity for

young, well-built
Korean boys.

What the fuck?
Hey, easy. Easy.

Don't get your panties
in a bunch.

It will never get out.

That is of course unless our money
does not arrive by 9:00 a.m.

Ted.

Ted.

Nice to see you again.

Help me, please.

Oh, please, oh, God.
Help me, please.