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1
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:18,894
Thank you very much.
2
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:34,953
Excuse me.
3
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:20,912
Morning, Brian.
4
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,523
Mr. Runnicles,
if you don't mind.
5
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:25,134
If you say so, Brian.
6
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,965
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.
7
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:33,011
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
8
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:46,329
Scandinavian Import Company.
9
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,853
That you, Niko? Who wants him?
10
00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:51,726
Pete here. Pete Hunter. It's me. What do you want, Pete?
11
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,684
I want my stock,
that's what I want.
12
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,512
It's all in hand.
13
00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,427
It's no good in hand, mate.
I want it in the shop.
14
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,211
Don't worry, Pete.
15
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,389
I've some lovely,
clean porn for you.
16
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,608
You'll make a bomb with
all those high-class commuters.
17
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,741
Wanna bet? We're up on the takings
18
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:10,484
already this week
in Cheltenham and Canterbury.
19
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:13,356
Uh... You better give me
that address again.
20
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,966
I haven't got the file handy.
21
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,795
I told you before,
313 the High Street.
22
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:20,885
What was that?
23
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:23,540
The bloody bed's collapsed again.
24
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,803
Like I said, they're not made
for two, are they?
25
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:28,023
Don't be crude.
26
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:31,505
I'll send the stuff right away,
special delivery.
27
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:38,773
131, High Street.
28
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:45,083
Thank you, Miss Martin.
29
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,868
Call me Daphne. Not during banking hours.
30
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,826
Do you mind?
31
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,829
And please take that
out of my pending tray.
32
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,570
By the way, is the
assistant manager in yet?
33
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,833
No, he's still up there.
34
00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,748
Well, you can't blame him, can you?
35
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,750
I mean, three days
back from a honeymoon.
36
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:04,102
Nevertheless, it is15,
he should be on the job.
37
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:12,154
You know... I really should be
getting down to the bank.
38
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:15,070
Who's stopping you? You are.
39
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,077
My God! Look at the time!
Penny! Penny!
40
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:25,036
Penny! Penny. Penny.
41
00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,695
You really must control yourself
when I bring you tea in bed.
42
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,872
That'll be Brian.
43
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,704
Morning, David. Don't want
to intrude on the happy couple.
44
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,619
Morning, Brian.
45
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:45,187
My new electronic digital
calculator hasn't arrived today.
46
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,189
It was supposed
to arrive and it hasn't.
47
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,321
I thought you ought to know,
being the assistant manager.
48
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,498
If I had been made
the assistant manager
49
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:53,369
as I'd half expected, then
I needn't have bothered you.
50
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,327
But since you were, in fact,
made the assistant manager...
51
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:56,764
Yes, yes, all right, Brian.
52
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,896
Not that I bear a grudge... They phoned.
53
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,421
You'll have it in a day or two.
54
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,813
For heaven's sake,
put some clothes on.
55
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:05,425
I have. I've got my... My...
56
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,819
Oh, sorry. I see.
57
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,647
Do give my love to Penny...
58
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,823
Well, not my love, my, uh...
My regards.
59
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:16,392
My fondest. Uh...
Oh, dear.
60
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:17,785
I don't think I'm going to like
61
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:18,873
living on the end of that buzzer.
62
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:20,396
I don't know,
it has its advantages.
63
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,050
I might even get
a fireman's pole put in.
64
00:07:22,224 --> 00:07:23,225
Whoosh. Straight down
to the office.
65
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:24,922
Where the hell are my shoes?
66
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,576
But we will get a place
of our own, won't we?
67
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:27,751
In time, darling.
Right now
68
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,231
I couldn't make
a down payment on a brick.
69
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,102
What if I help with the deposit? Oh, yes, how?
70
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,235
Well, a man called at the door.
You know,
71
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,759
"Thousands of women earn
substantial sums of money,
72
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,369
as well as widening
their circle of acquaintances
73
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:40,372
in this very pleasant way."
74
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,853
Swedish glassware.
I've sent for it already.
75
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:45,247
Penny, we cannot afford
Swedish glassware.
76
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,988
But lots of women round here can.
77
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,990
You see, I invite them round
for tea,
78
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:50,687
they stock up with crystal goblets,
79
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,602
and pretty soon we get
the deposit for the house.
80
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,648
We cannot have a bazaar
on bank property.
81
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,388
Oh, David. Think of Bromley,
82
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,955
our beloved manager,
he'd go raving mad...
83
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,740
Oh, that reminds me. What?
84
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:02,046
The guest room. It's nice
to have guests occasionally?
85
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:05,354
Not when we're just back
from our honeymoon.
86
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,399
You haven't asked anyone, have you?
No, no, no, no, no.
87
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,271
Well, hardly anyone. Who have you asked?
88
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,099
Well, she telephoned
and I forgot to tell you.
89
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:13,362
Um, Bertha.
90
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:20,412
And you!
91
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,068
Your mother?
92
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,288
Yes. And, look, darling,
it's not very likely,
93
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,855
but she may
just want to stay the night.
94
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,030
So your mother
is staying the night.
95
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,422
No, no, no. She just might.
96
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,294
She will. Oh, David! Oh, look, darling,
97
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,165
she won't want much.
98
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,341
She can have the Teasmade
for one night, surely.
99
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,648
The radio and electric blanket,
we haven't even used yet.
100
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:40,258
Perhaps she wouldn't like
the food mixer as well.
101
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:43,697
I'm sorry. Mmm.
102
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:46,656
No, I must dash.
Must dash, darling.
103
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:50,007
You know what Bromley's like
if I'm not behind my desk.
104
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,922
And where is my other shoe?
105
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,341
I'm terribly sorry,
106
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:22,170
my mind was diverted
by some pornographic books.
107
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:23,954
You shouldn't have been reading
them while you were driving!
108
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,739
Oh, no, no, no.
There in the shop.
109
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,305
In the window there.
Disgusting filth.
110
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:28,872
Well, what about my boot?
111
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:31,048
And you knocked the head off
me nodding dog.
112
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,834
It's high time that that...
Done what?
113
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,799
Psst! Old wobbly chops
is just parking his car.
114
00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:45,062
That's no way to talk
of the manager.
115
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:47,021
Hello? Yes?
116
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:48,675
Oh, tell David old wobbly chops is parking his...
117
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:49,893
I mean, Mr. Bromley,
that is...
118
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,329
Yes, yes, Brian.
I'll be right down.
119
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:52,026
My zip's stuck.
120
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,593
Pardon?
121
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,072
On my briefcase! Oh, yes.
122
00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,726
Look, try and delay him, would you?
123
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,380
Delay Mr. Bromley?
124
00:09:58,554 --> 00:09:59,250
Bye, darling.
125
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,950
Mm.Mm.
126
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:03,777
Bye!
127
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,477
I really must learn to make coffee.
128
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,030
Good morning, Mr. Bromley.
129
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,597
I do hope
you've had a pleasant journey?
130
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:46,297
May I take this opportunity on
behalf of myself and the staff
131
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:50,301
to say how glad, nay, delighted...
132
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:53,696
What are you doing out here? Out here? I saw you arriving.
133
00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,132
I arrive daily, Runnicles,
134
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,873
but you've never before run out
135
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,440
and babbled greetings at the curb!
136
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,529
No, no, but I thought
it might be raining
137
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,183
and I'd bring out an umbrella,
138
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,750
um, so that you wouldn't get wet.
139
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,448
But it isn't raining.
140
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:10,017
Well, that's why I didn't
bring an umbrella. Pointless.
141
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:11,801
Are you feeling all right?
142
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:14,238
Yes, I'm feeling fine, sir.
I'm...
143
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:17,024
I'm not feeling quite as well
as I felt last week,
144
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:18,634
but I'm feeling a little bit better
145
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,201
than I felt the week before.
146
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,550
Are you feeling fine, sir?
147
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,639
I'm feeling extremely irritable.
148
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:26,337
So, will you stand aside
and let me get into the bank?
149
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:36,870
Come on!
150
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:41,135
It's here somewhere. Oh, give it to me!
151
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,096
What kept you so long? There are some things
152
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,142
that no one can do for you,
Mr. Hunter.
153
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,806
Oh, good morning, sir. Hunter, will you
154
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,459
come in my office, please?
155
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:04,027
I'll just finish off this...
This prospectus.
156
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,403
Come in!
157
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:36,016
Well, David, it's arrived. What has, sir?
158
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,887
Oh, Brian's calculator.
That's odd...
159
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,455
This, David!
This has arrived!
160
00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,674
I saw that over breakfast
this morning.
161
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,721
My boiled egg
turned to ashes in my mouth!
162
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,549
But I consoled myself
with the thought
163
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:48,811
that it couldn't happen here.
164
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,552
Well, it has!
What has, sir?
165
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:52,032
The creeping menace.
166
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,556
What, here, sir? With my own eyes I saw it.
167
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,427
Between the Christian reading room
168
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,734
and, appropriately enough,
the National Westminster Bank.
169
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:01,824
The Aphrodisia Bookshop. The mind boggles, sir.
170
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,783
Not enough to boggle, David.
171
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,610
Actions speak louder than boggles!
172
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,353
I'll get my hands on these
filth merchants.
173
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:11,355
I'll give them stick.
174
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,444
I'll draw the attention
of the watch committee to them...
175
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,185
Hello? Get me Inspector Paul.
176
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:17,709
My fellow J.P.'s, the council,
the police.
177
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:22,279
And, David, I'm not ashamed
to say this:
178
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,368
I shall pray.
179
00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,501
Will you join me? What, here and now, sir?
180
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:29,852
No, no, no, no. In the campaign! Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
181
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,636
I want to get up a petition.
182
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,204
I thought that you and Penny
could take a street each,
183
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,727
in the evenings after work.
184
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,251
Door to door. It'd be a pleasure, sir.
185
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,687
Right.
186
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,057
That's the way,
bring them over here.
187
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,801
Most kind.
188
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:08,064
Look, missus, I was trying to
tell you, you can't park here.
189
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:10,893
There's another one
on the back seat.
190
00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:18,248
Oh, blast!
191
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:21,121
Now, look, missus.
Just a moment now. Look.
192
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:24,037
Double yellow lines! Very pretty.
193
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:27,562
No, no, you can't park here.
That's what I'm here for, see?
194
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,564
What a helpful service.
195
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,784
I'm sure you know
all the best places.
196
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:37,485
I'm coming. I'm coming. Hello?
197
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,791
It's Bertha. Can you give me
a hand with my luggage?
198
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,141
Oh, yes, of course.
199
00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:44,709
Luggage?
200
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,539
Luggage?
201
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:52,761
That uniform does become you.
Really does.
202
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:56,721
Somewhere round the corner will
do. Preferably in the shade.
203
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,202
Little Hitler.
204
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,687
Oh, there you are, Penny, darling.
205
00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:07,776
I thought you might be
in the bath or something.
206
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:10,213
I was.
207
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:13,608
What an elfin sense of humor.
My bags are outside.
208
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:28,362
Careful with the big one.
It's got my nut cutlets in it.
209
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,059
You seem to have enough luggage
for a fortnight.
210
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,843
I couldn't possibly stay
a fortnight.
211
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:32,975
Might manage a week.
212
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,130
Oh.
213
00:15:57,304 --> 00:16:00,916
It's quite sweet
in its own little way.
214
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,527
Your room's upstairs, Bertha. Oh, thank you.
215
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,877
Um, I'll bring the luggage up
when I've finished drying.
216
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:09,446
Oh. You really were in the bath.
217
00:16:09,620 --> 00:16:11,622
How funny.
218
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:17,237
If we don't come down hard
on these pornographers,
219
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,065
it'll be Sodom and Gomorrah
and Windsor.
220
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,067
The Royal Borough crawling
with these filthy magazines.
221
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,460
I agree, sir. I shan't rest
until I get every one of them.
222
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,680
What? The salesmen. The suppliers.
223
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,551
Oh, I see. Watch and wait.
224
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,727
Excuse me.
225
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,599
Yes? Can I speak to David?
226
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:34,863
Yes, of course. David.Sir.
227
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:38,171
Yes? Your mother has arrived already.
228
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,216
Oh, uh, look, darling.
Can I call you back?
229
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:41,652
We've got Inspector Paul with us.
230
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,524
I don't care if you've got
Pope Paul with you.
231
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,004
She's talking about staying
for a week!
232
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,877
Ah, right. I'll be up directly.
Sorry about that, sir.
233
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,967
All right. Care for a cup
of tea, Your Holy... Inspector?
234
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:54,187
Very nice. I'll ask Miss Martin for some.
235
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,757
Special delivery for P. Hunter.
That must be for Penny.
236
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,281
It should've gone up to the flat.
237
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,631
Yes, it should've gone up to...
238
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:06,199
Would you? Thanks. What? I'm not a delivery boy.
239
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:08,114
What? It's not the usual delivery...
240
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:11,421
I'll take it up to the flat.
241
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,510
Oh, yes. I've been married
three times myself.
242
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:15,295
I know how to make a marriage work.
243
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,905
Yes, which one was David's father?
244
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,385
He had the eyes from number one,
245
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:21,431
the ears of number two...
246
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:25,566
Odd, really. According to
my diary, it was number three.
247
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:28,960
But you said "guidance."
Um, what sort of guidance?
248
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:32,703
Oh, Penny, men are just children.
249
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:37,839
Behind every successful man,
there is a woman, a mother.
250
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,189
Or failing that, a wife.
251
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,802
Oh, excuse me. That's the bell.
252
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:47,588
Don't worry. I'll be keeping
a close eye on you.
253
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,864
Oh, hello, Brian. Parcel for you, Penny.
254
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,866
It arrived at the...
255
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,609
Oh. Oh, I say.
256
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,654
What's the matter? Haven't you
seen one of these before?
257
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:13,396
Well, not during banking hours.
258
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:17,139
Thank you.
I expect it's my glassware.
259
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,010
It doesn't sound like glassware.
260
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,012
Oh, these knots are tight.
261
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:24,015
I've got my scout knife with me.
"Be prepared."
262
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:29,499
Wait a minute, there's a blade
here somewhere. Oh, here we are.
263
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:32,502
Oh, thank you.Oh. Sorry. That's all right.
264
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,507
Let me give you a hand.Ah.
265
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:42,512
Oh, yes. Here we are.
266
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:43,818
Oh, wait a minute.
I think you've got...
267
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,820
Sorry, sorry. Thank you.
268
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:50,390
Yes... Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
How clumsy of me.
269
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,261
It's all right,
it was all my fault.
270
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,613
It doesn't feel like glassware.
271
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,615
They must've made a mistake.
272
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:02,358
They're all sealed down. No, this one isn't.
273
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,448
My God, it's a dirty picture!
274
00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,146
Let me see. No, I couldn't.
275
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,713
You couldn't look at this.
I daren't look myself.
276
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:11,411
Oh, don't be so ridiculous, Brian...
277
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:16,633
Oh, how embarrassing.
278
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,636
Put them away quickly
before David sees them.
279
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,943
Oh, Brian! Oh, I am sorry.
280
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:25,164
How could I be so clumsy?
Do them up quickly.
281
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,817
Do them up? Do what up?
282
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:29,429
Penny, you're not dressed yet.
What's going on here?
283
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,648
David... Um, I hope you don't think
284
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:33,302
I was in any way, uh...
285
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,565
What are you two up to? Now, David...
286
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,481
Uh... They fell out.
I was putting them back.
287
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,527
What? I mean, I was trying
288
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,616
to put them back
before you came back.
289
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,531
Look at that. They're filthy,
they're disgusting.
290
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,489
Were you interfering with my wife,
291
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,099
you randy little chief cashier?
292
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,754
How dare you...
293
00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:52,756
I'm gonna punch him on the nose. Please, do I gather...?
294
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,541
Put him down! Put me down, put me down!
295
00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:57,500
David, stop it at once! It
wasn't his fault. It was mine.
296
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:58,980
Please let go of my arm.
Oh, I'm becoming so angry.
297
00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:00,764
Yours? Yes, this box.
298
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:03,941
I was expecting glasses
from the Swedish company.
299
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,553
But it's full of dirty photos.
Look.
300
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,164
Good God Almighty! May I get up?
301
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,514
How can they possibly send stuff
like that through the post?
302
00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:12,950
Wasn't there
a sender's address on it?
303
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,952
Never mind about that,
look what you've done
304
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:17,041
to my badminton club tie. Pulled
my shuttlecock out of shape.
305
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,783
Good God, Bertha!
306
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,785
Coo-ee!
307
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:25,441
Oh, darling, David, there you are.
308
00:20:25,615 --> 00:20:27,748
Hello, Mother.
309
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,838
You're looking very pasty.
310
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:33,536
I hope you haven't been stuffing
him with saturated fats.
311
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:35,538
No.What have you got there?
312
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,975
Uh, photographs.
Uh, but they're Brian's.
313
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:39,803
All of them.
314
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:43,024
Mr. Runnicles, you were
the best man at the wedding?
315
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:45,766
Are they wedding photographs? Yes. No. Possibly.
316
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:48,159
Well, actually, I forget. Am I in any of them?
317
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:50,684
Um, no. I don't think so.
318
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,816
Mostly overdeveloped.
Overexposed.
319
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,775
Come along, Mother, dear,
let me help you unpack.
320
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:56,733
But I've unpacked already.
321
00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:58,300
No need to push.
322
00:21:09,224 --> 00:21:11,487
What are you doing? I'm phoning the company.
323
00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,752
Yes, yes, madam,
I've traced your order
324
00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:17,493
and I've sent for the invoice.
325
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:20,104
How dare you send stuff
like this to us! I'm...
326
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,149
I'm flabbergasted!
327
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,846
I can't think why, madam.
328
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,066
I can assure you that it is
what you ordered.
329
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,548
But they're absolutely filthy. That's impossible, madam.
330
00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:30,593
My girls are very thorough.
331
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,292
Even as I talk, there's one
less than two yards from me,
332
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:34,858
working away
with her feather duster.
333
00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:35,903
Good grief!
334
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:39,689
According to our invoice,
335
00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:42,083
you have a set of our crystal
with the wide bottom.
336
00:21:42,257 --> 00:21:45,782
Crystal? That's the blond.
That's the blond. Disgusting!
337
00:21:45,956 --> 00:21:48,089
Yes, they're really beautiful.
338
00:21:48,263 --> 00:21:51,092
I gaze at them with rapture
every time they catch my eye.
339
00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:52,746
You dirty old man!
340
00:21:55,096 --> 00:21:56,793
No doubt, you make some sort of
sense to yourself, madam,
341
00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:59,492
but, um...
342
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:01,624
According to the dispatch note
343
00:22:01,798 --> 00:22:03,887
that has just been placed
in front of me,
344
00:22:04,061 --> 00:22:06,281
your order has not even yet
left the warehouse.
345
00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:09,110
But we had this box of postcards!
346
00:22:09,284 --> 00:22:10,894
In the circumstances, madam,
347
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:12,853
perhaps we'd just better cancel
your order.
348
00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:16,900
Hello? Hello? They say
they haven't sent them.
349
00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:18,859
Well, they're just covering up,
aren't they?
350
00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:20,121
Anyway, we're stuck
with the stuff now.
351
00:22:20,295 --> 00:22:21,514
We'll have to make
a clean breast of it.
352
00:22:21,688 --> 00:22:22,950
What? Report it to the police.
353
00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:25,648
The police! Excellent! Oh, no, you don't.
354
00:22:25,822 --> 00:22:27,650
You are staying right here.
355
00:22:29,478 --> 00:22:30,697
Hello, Daphne speaking.
356
00:22:30,871 --> 00:22:31,915
Mr. Runnicles isn't here
at the moment.
357
00:22:32,089 --> 00:22:33,743
I know where Mr. Runnicles is.
358
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:35,005
Is Inspector Paul still down there?
359
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:36,616
He's just leaving, sir.
360
00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:38,139
Could you send him up? With pleasure.
361
00:22:38,313 --> 00:22:40,576
Don't you think you're being
hasty, calling the police?
362
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:41,925
It's a police matter,
for God's sake!
363
00:22:42,099 --> 00:22:44,014
But we can't prove
we didn't order them.
364
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:45,494
That's true. That is true. Oh, do shut up, Brian!
365
00:22:45,668 --> 00:22:46,843
You signed for them.
366
00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:48,367
The police can't
possibly suspect us,
367
00:22:48,541 --> 00:22:50,107
not if we're open with them.
Open and aboveboard.
368
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,935
But it's their job
to suspect people.
369
00:22:52,109 --> 00:22:54,764
Ooh, that one on the trampoline. And the poor Dutch girls.
370
00:22:54,938 --> 00:22:56,375
How do you know
they were Dutch girls?
371
00:22:56,549 --> 00:22:57,724
The clogs. It was
all they were wearing.
372
00:22:57,898 --> 00:22:59,856
It's him, the inspector.
373
00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:01,728
Darling, go and get
some clothes on.
374
00:23:01,902 --> 00:23:04,992
I'll go back to my position. Where do you think you're going?
375
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:07,124
You're in this just as much as we are.
I am not.
376
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,300
They were addressed to Penny.
I may have signed for them,
377
00:23:09,475 --> 00:23:10,519
but those photographs are not mine!
378
00:23:13,130 --> 00:23:14,784
Ah, Inspector. Come in. Morning again, Mr. Hunter.
379
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:16,699
I came up the back way. Ah!
380
00:23:16,873 --> 00:23:18,353
You know Mr. Runnicles,
our chief cashier?
381
00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:20,790
I haven't had the pleasure.
What's the problem, Mr. Hunter?
382
00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:25,447
It's about this pornography. Pornography? Yes, very nasty.
383
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:26,448
Still, we're cracking down on it.
384
00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:28,015
I was just telling Mr. Bromley,
385
00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:31,148
I arrested one of the
muck-peddlers last week.
386
00:23:31,322 --> 00:23:35,631
What actually had he been doing? Peddling muck. Evil pictures.
387
00:23:35,805 --> 00:23:38,329
And, if you please, from
a private flat in Maidenhead.
388
00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:40,810
Told some cock and bull story
about them arriving in the post.
389
00:23:40,984 --> 00:23:42,246
"Try that one on the judge,"
I said.
390
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,726
"You'll get five years
for certain."
391
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:45,336
I'd birch them, if I had my way.
392
00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:49,340
Enough of this sordid business.
393
00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:50,907
What can I do for you people?
394
00:23:51,081 --> 00:23:55,434
Yes, yes. Well, um, the fact is,
it's, uh... It's Brian.
395
00:23:55,608 --> 00:23:58,045
It's all right, Brian.
It's all right, don't worry.
396
00:23:58,219 --> 00:24:00,134
The inspector won't accuse you
of making a fuss about nothing.
397
00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:02,092
Just, uh... Just tell him about
the mysterious parcel...
398
00:24:02,266 --> 00:24:03,572
Uh, parson... Person!
399
00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,400
What? Well, you know,
400
00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:07,358
the loitering prowler, that's it.
401
00:24:07,533 --> 00:24:09,709
See, Brian noticed this
mysterious-looking prowler
402
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:11,188
lurking around the back.
403
00:24:11,362 --> 00:24:14,931
Really? When was this? What? Um...
404
00:24:15,105 --> 00:24:19,414
Oh, yesterday, uh, morning.
And afternoon, mainly.
405
00:24:19,588 --> 00:24:21,155
Describe him to me.
Please, Mr. Runnicles.
406
00:24:21,329 --> 00:24:25,028
Describe him? Yes, uh, what did he look like?
407
00:24:25,202 --> 00:24:27,727
It was very hard to tell
because of the, uh...
408
00:24:27,901 --> 00:24:29,293
Because of the mask.
409
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:32,209
Mask? He was wearing
a mask in the street?
410
00:24:32,383 --> 00:24:36,562
Um... A mask in the street?
That's ridiculous, isn't it?
411
00:24:36,736 --> 00:24:39,695
No, um, it was, um, a muffler.
412
00:24:39,869 --> 00:24:41,915
You know, a kind of scarf, really.
413
00:24:42,089 --> 00:24:43,264
And because of
the very strong wind,
414
00:24:43,438 --> 00:24:45,179
this scarf was being blown
across his face, you know,
415
00:24:45,353 --> 00:24:48,443
making it very difficult to,
um, see.
416
00:24:48,617 --> 00:24:51,228
Muffler.
Was he tall or short?
417
00:24:51,402 --> 00:24:53,187
I can help you there.
He was tall.
418
00:24:53,361 --> 00:24:55,189
Tall. You sure?
419
00:24:55,363 --> 00:25:00,847
Um... Well, he might have been,
unless, of course, he was short,
420
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,719
and everybody who was passing
him, you know, was shorter,
421
00:25:03,893 --> 00:25:05,895
making him
appear taller than he was.
422
00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:07,680
Very clever like that,
some of them.
423
00:25:07,854 --> 00:25:09,508
Did anybody else see this person?
424
00:25:09,682 --> 00:25:12,206
No, no, no, inspector.
Just Brian.
425
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:15,470
Mr. Runnicles, try hard.
What was this person doing?
426
00:25:15,644 --> 00:25:20,519
Doing? Um, prowling, uh, mostly.
And a bit of loitering.
427
00:25:20,693 --> 00:25:22,303
Yes, this person or persons...
No, there's only one.
428
00:25:22,477 --> 00:25:23,957
There's only
one person we are looking for...
429
00:25:24,131 --> 00:25:26,960
Was, in fact, loitering
more than prowling.
430
00:25:27,134 --> 00:25:29,528
What made you think
that this person was loitering?
431
00:25:29,702 --> 00:25:32,618
And prowling a bit.
Good question. Excellent.
432
00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:35,403
Very astute. First class.
433
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,492
What was the question again?
434
00:25:37,666 --> 00:25:40,843
What made you think there was
anything suspicious about him?
435
00:25:41,017 --> 00:25:46,936
The loitering and the prowling.
And the close-set eyes.
436
00:25:47,110 --> 00:25:49,548
And the dark glasses.
Well, not really dark, tinted.
437
00:25:49,722 --> 00:25:52,333
Enabling me to see
the close-set eyes.
438
00:25:52,507 --> 00:25:55,205
You're not giving me very much
to go on, Mr. Runnicles.
439
00:25:55,379 --> 00:25:57,120
Still, I'll get my people
to keep a lookout.
440
00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:58,557
If anybody else
sees anything suspicious,
441
00:25:58,731 --> 00:25:59,906
please contact us at once.
442
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,255
Yes, of course, inspector.
443
00:26:01,429 --> 00:26:03,431
You didn't notice whether...?
444
00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:05,389
No, never mind.
445
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,217
Thank you for calling us.
446
00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:10,351
We rely on public cooperation.
Good morning.
447
00:26:10,525 --> 00:26:12,353
- Good morning, inspector.
- Good morning.
448
00:26:16,531 --> 00:26:17,924
Well, that was a nice trick.
449
00:26:18,098 --> 00:26:19,490
You put me in a terrible position.
450
00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:21,057
Shut up, Brian.
The problem is,
451
00:26:21,231 --> 00:26:22,493
how are we gonna get rid
of this blasted porn?
452
00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:24,278
Well, you can burn it
in the garden, can't you?
453
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,280
This is a bank flat, Brian.
We haven't got a garden.
454
00:26:26,454 --> 00:26:28,151
We haven't got any fireplaces
either. It's all electric.
455
00:26:28,325 --> 00:26:29,718
You've got a garden,
haven't you, Brian?
456
00:26:29,892 --> 00:26:31,546
Yes, I have. No, I haven't.
I have not got a garden.
457
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,243
I share it with all the others.
It's communal.
458
00:26:33,417 --> 00:26:35,158
Eight other flats.
I've only got 12.5 percent.
459
00:26:35,332 --> 00:26:37,204
It's nothing to do with me. You signed for the parcel.
460
00:26:37,378 --> 00:26:38,858
The post office have got
your name already.
461
00:26:39,032 --> 00:26:40,599
Will you stop saying that?
462
00:26:41,817 --> 00:26:43,732
This is terrible.
463
00:26:43,906 --> 00:26:45,604
It's obvious.
It's staring us in the face.
464
00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:47,301
What is? The lavatory.
465
00:26:47,475 --> 00:26:49,303
I beg your pardon. We tear them up and flush them.
466
00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:50,739
Oh, Brian, don't be ridiculous!
It'll take hours.
467
00:26:50,913 --> 00:26:52,523
I'll do a whole lot at once.
468
00:26:52,698 --> 00:26:55,222
Can't stand around here,
wanna do something.
469
00:27:09,453 --> 00:27:12,152
I'm sorry, darling.
It was all a misunderstanding.
470
00:27:12,326 --> 00:27:13,501
I'm sorry too, darling.
I should never
471
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:14,937
have gone off
at you and Brian like that.
472
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:21,378
I can't get them down, any of them.
473
00:27:21,552 --> 00:27:22,815
They're all floating on top.
What are we going to do?
474
00:27:22,989 --> 00:27:24,512
Flush it again. Well, it's no use.
475
00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:26,035
They keep coming back up.
476
00:27:26,209 --> 00:27:27,515
They look so much worse
when they're framed.
477
00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,125
Get something from the kitchen
and fish them out.
478
00:27:29,299 --> 00:27:32,346
This is so ignominious for me!
So ignominious!
479
00:27:36,524 --> 00:27:37,786
Be an angel.
480
00:27:40,180 --> 00:27:42,791
Hello? Hello, Penny. Is David with you?
481
00:27:45,272 --> 00:27:47,578
Yes, Mr. Bromley,
he'll be down in a minute.
482
00:27:47,753 --> 00:27:49,798
Oh, good.
Have you seen Mr. Runnicles?
483
00:27:49,972 --> 00:27:52,627
Oh, he's up here as well. What on earth for?
484
00:27:52,801 --> 00:27:54,803
He's gone to the bathroom.
485
00:27:54,977 --> 00:27:56,762
What an extraordinary thing to do.
486
00:27:56,936 --> 00:27:58,198
Perfectly good men's room
in the bank.
487
00:27:58,372 --> 00:27:59,895
Send him down, would you, Penny?
488
00:28:00,069 --> 00:28:02,419
Yes, Mr. Bromley, I will.
As soon as he comes out.
489
00:28:02,593 --> 00:28:03,812
Thank you.
490
00:28:07,598 --> 00:28:08,512
What a funny time to go.
491
00:28:10,340 --> 00:28:12,821
I should never have signed!
Never have signed!
492
00:28:12,995 --> 00:28:14,475
David? Oh, my God.
493
00:28:14,649 --> 00:28:16,695
She's coming down again.
494
00:28:16,869 --> 00:28:19,175
Yes, Mother, dear, what is it?
495
00:28:30,099 --> 00:28:32,580
Burn! Burn!
496
00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:34,364
Burn!
497
00:28:36,845 --> 00:28:38,107
Ooh!
498
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:56,909
Brian, quick! Help me!
499
00:28:57,083 --> 00:28:59,999
I can't.
I've got my trowel stuck.
500
00:29:06,614 --> 00:29:08,224
Mother.
501
00:29:08,398 --> 00:29:11,445
David, I want to go downstairs.
502
00:29:11,619 --> 00:29:13,882
Of course you can
go downstairs, Mother, dear.
503
00:29:14,056 --> 00:29:15,318
I just think you need a rest,
that's all.
504
00:29:15,492 --> 00:29:18,278
I'm just thinking of you. Oh, nonsense.
505
00:29:18,452 --> 00:29:21,803
I've had my vitamin B.
I've done my yoga. I've...
506
00:29:26,982 --> 00:29:28,114
What on earth have you been doing?
507
00:29:28,288 --> 00:29:29,898
Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
508
00:29:30,072 --> 00:29:31,204
I was burning something...
509
00:29:31,378 --> 00:29:32,901
Something was burning in the bin,
510
00:29:33,075 --> 00:29:33,684
and I was trying to put it out.
511
00:29:33,859 --> 00:29:34,773
It must've been Runnicles.
512
00:29:34,947 --> 00:29:36,209
He's terribly careless.
513
00:29:36,383 --> 00:29:37,819
He leaves a trail
of cigarette ends.
514
00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,995
My fingers are filthy. No!
515
00:29:40,169 --> 00:29:41,431
No, no, no.
Couldn't you use the kitchen?
516
00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:42,781
I beg your pardon.
517
00:29:46,175 --> 00:29:49,657
Mr. Runnicles,
what are you doing?
518
00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:51,833
I'm stuck.
519
00:29:52,007 --> 00:29:53,617
Oh!
520
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,403
Ah, finished.
521
00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:58,884
What are you doing
with a trowel down the, um...?
522
00:29:59,058 --> 00:30:02,801
Down the, uh...? Pan.
523
00:30:02,975 --> 00:30:05,151
There's a perfectly simple
explanation for that.
524
00:30:05,325 --> 00:30:09,938
I was in the bathroom, as you
saw, and I called for a towel,
525
00:30:10,112 --> 00:30:13,159
and he, not hearing properly,
thought I said trowel, you see.
526
00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:14,856
And in my surprise
at receiving a trowel,
527
00:30:15,030 --> 00:30:17,163
it flew in the bowel... The bowl.
528
00:30:17,337 --> 00:30:18,729
Why did David bring a trowel
into the bathroom?
529
00:30:18,904 --> 00:30:21,820
Ah, um, because, um, Brian...
530
00:30:21,994 --> 00:30:24,561
He's had a lot of experience
at tiling and grouting,
531
00:30:24,735 --> 00:30:27,042
and he couldn't find
the proper one for the job.
532
00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:28,739
Couldn't I?
No, I wanted a towel.
533
00:30:28,914 --> 00:30:30,741
And a trowel for the tiling.
534
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:33,396
Because he's very good at tiling
and I'm not, am I, darling?
535
00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:35,703
No. Hopeless. While Brian's had
a lot of experience...
536
00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:38,575
Of tiling and grouting,
haven't you, Brian?
537
00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:41,404
I have had a lot of experience
of troweling and griting.
538
00:30:41,578 --> 00:30:43,102
I was going to start now,
and then I thought,
539
00:30:43,276 --> 00:30:44,973
"No, I'd better wait till
I get my trowter's grout...
540
00:30:45,147 --> 00:30:46,757
My grouter's trout."Tiler's trowel.
541
00:30:46,932 --> 00:30:48,759
That as well.
542
00:30:48,934 --> 00:30:50,631
Yes, well, you should've said.
543
00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:53,677
I mean, now you've explained,
it's all perfectly clear.
544
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,071
Yes.
545
00:30:56,245 --> 00:31:00,989
Do you realize, young man, you
almost set this flat on fire?
546
00:31:03,818 --> 00:31:05,776
What? By poking my trowel
down the, uh...?
547
00:31:05,951 --> 00:31:08,823
No. By leaving cigarette
ends about.
548
00:31:08,997 --> 00:31:12,566
I've never smoked in my life!
I'm a lifelong boy scout.
549
00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:14,394
Clean in thought, word and deed.
550
00:31:17,005 --> 00:31:20,791
Grilled trout? Down there?
551
00:31:20,966 --> 00:31:22,532
Quick, darling.
Bring that over here.
552
00:31:22,706 --> 00:31:25,013
We're gonna tape it
and dump it far away from here.
553
00:31:25,187 --> 00:31:26,797
That's a good idea.
That's the best thing to do.
554
00:31:26,972 --> 00:31:29,626
Oh, darling, where would
we be without you?
555
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,325
Excuse me! Excuse me!
556
00:31:32,499 --> 00:31:35,241
You'll look back on this and
have a damn good laugh about it.
557
00:31:35,415 --> 00:31:37,721
Yes, I expect we will.
558
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:42,291
Best to look on the funny side.
Very droll. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
559
00:31:42,465 --> 00:31:44,293
Quite. Off you go, Brian.
And mind where you dump it.
560
00:31:44,467 --> 00:31:45,947
Who, me? Not me!
561
00:31:46,121 --> 00:31:47,644
Oh, flick!
562
00:31:47,818 --> 00:31:50,473
There's something strange
about these photographs.
563
00:31:50,647 --> 00:31:52,345
Excuse me, I must go.
564
00:31:52,519 --> 00:31:54,390
He's been tearing them up.
565
00:31:54,564 --> 00:31:57,089
Are they the wedding photographs?
566
00:31:57,263 --> 00:31:58,612
This looks like part of an organ.
567
00:31:58,786 --> 00:32:00,919
Or is it a trampoline? Yes, it's a trampoline.
568
00:32:01,093 --> 00:32:03,704
That's why he tore it up,
because it's out of focus.
569
00:32:03,878 --> 00:32:06,228
He was probably jumping up
and down on it when he took it.
570
00:32:21,113 --> 00:32:22,070
What on earth...?
571
00:32:25,769 --> 00:32:29,077
Runnicles, where are you going? To my desk in the bank, sir.
572
00:32:29,251 --> 00:32:30,818
Then why not take the shortcut?
573
00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:51,970
What have you got there? Nothing.
574
00:32:52,144 --> 00:32:55,103
Just a box of, um, nothing.
575
00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:00,326
I'll put it in the drawer.
576
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:02,806
That's the best thing
to do with it.
577
00:33:07,289 --> 00:33:08,943
And Runnicles. Hm?
578
00:33:09,117 --> 00:33:11,163
Use the toilet down here.
579
00:33:12,512 --> 00:33:14,296
Yes, sir, right...
580
00:33:14,470 --> 00:33:16,733
Tie. Desk. Excuse me.
581
00:33:20,128 --> 00:33:21,912
What have you done with them?
582
00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:23,523
They're in the drawer. My desk.
583
00:33:23,697 --> 00:33:24,785
I'll get rid of them later on,
after work.
584
00:33:24,959 --> 00:33:26,830
Then we can...
585
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,049
Just going, sir.
586
00:33:31,357 --> 00:33:33,185
What's got into him? Oh, uh, he's...
587
00:33:33,359 --> 00:33:35,187
He's probably rather upset, sir,
588
00:33:35,361 --> 00:33:37,189
by all this pornography business.
589
00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:39,800
We all are, David.
590
00:33:39,974 --> 00:33:42,716
When I was under-manager,
down at the Edenfield branch,
591
00:33:42,890 --> 00:33:46,937
I caught a teller
with a dirty book: Titter.
592
00:33:47,112 --> 00:33:49,723
Titter? Titter.
593
00:33:49,897 --> 00:33:51,464
I sacked him on the spot.
On the spot, David!
594
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,947
I've just been to the, uh...
And done the, uh...
595
00:33:57,122 --> 00:33:58,471
Excellent, excellent!
596
00:34:25,976 --> 00:34:27,282
Come.
597
00:34:29,154 --> 00:34:30,459
Good morning, Bertha.
598
00:34:30,633 --> 00:34:33,158
I brought your breakfast for you.
599
00:34:33,332 --> 00:34:35,073
There's your orange blossom honey,
600
00:34:35,247 --> 00:34:37,292
and that's the molasses.
601
00:34:37,466 --> 00:34:39,686
I expect I look dreadful
this morning.
602
00:34:39,860 --> 00:34:41,818
Oh, no, I don't.
603
00:34:41,992 --> 00:34:44,560
I always say, "As long as you've
got the bone structure,
604
00:34:44,734 --> 00:34:46,997
just let the rest go hang."
605
00:34:47,172 --> 00:34:49,348
How did you sleep? Not very well, I'm afraid.
606
00:34:49,522 --> 00:34:51,045
The mattress was rather lumpy.
607
00:34:51,219 --> 00:34:53,874
Like the princess
who had a pea in her bed.
608
00:34:54,048 --> 00:34:56,224
I beg your pardon.
609
00:34:56,398 --> 00:34:59,662
Oh, the fairy story? Yes.
610
00:34:59,836 --> 00:35:02,100
Have you decided what you're
going to do today?
611
00:35:02,274 --> 00:35:03,579
You're not staying in, are you?
612
00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:05,668
No, I thought I'd
go round the shops
613
00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:08,454
and buy myself a... "Sex maniac"?
614
00:35:08,628 --> 00:35:11,370
A what? Look, in the local paper.
615
00:35:11,544 --> 00:35:13,676
"Thousands of obscene photographs
616
00:35:13,850 --> 00:35:16,418
fished out of the river."
Disgusting!
617
00:35:16,592 --> 00:35:20,074
"Police wish to question
a man acting suspiciously."
618
00:35:20,248 --> 00:35:23,599
Look at that face. Evil! Ugh!
619
00:35:23,773 --> 00:35:25,384
But don't you see? It's Brian!
620
00:35:25,558 --> 00:35:27,516
Oh, my God, I believe you're right.
621
00:35:27,690 --> 00:35:30,345
Did Bertha recognize him? No. Oh, but honestly the twit.
622
00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:32,391
Fancy dumping them in the river! Now, darling, be fair, be fair.
623
00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,871
He may have had a good reason.
I know why he did it.
624
00:35:35,045 --> 00:35:36,786
Why? Because he's a twit! Honestly.
625
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,441
Why didn't he just pin them up
on the police notice board.
626
00:35:39,615 --> 00:35:41,226
If that idiot got on a bus,
he'd be hijacked!
627
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,357
Come on, you'll be late.
628
00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:47,493
Thank you, darling. Oh, and,
darling, whatever you do,
629
00:35:47,667 --> 00:35:49,408
don't let anybody
see this newspaper.
630
00:35:49,582 --> 00:35:52,280
They're on to me!
They're on to me!
631
00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:56,676
David! David!
632
00:35:59,896 --> 00:36:02,725
Brian, why the river?
Why didn't you bury them?
633
00:36:02,899 --> 00:36:06,294
I tried. I did try.
634
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,401
Psst! Psst! Psst!
635
00:36:28,534 --> 00:36:30,710
Have you, uh...? Good afternoon.
Have you a light?
636
00:36:30,884 --> 00:36:32,102
Oh, yes.
637
00:36:34,931 --> 00:36:38,631
Oh, sorry. My cigarettes
are in the bushes. May I, uh...?
638
00:36:38,805 --> 00:36:39,545
Thank you.
639
00:36:50,947 --> 00:36:53,472
I've lit it. The cigarette.
640
00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:07,137
Oh, it'll take weeks
to burn this lot.
641
00:37:11,577 --> 00:37:13,318
So then I thought,
"Where do people put
642
00:37:13,492 --> 00:37:14,928
unwanted paper
in a public park?"
643
00:37:59,842 --> 00:38:02,323
Good evening. Good evening, sir.
644
00:38:02,497 --> 00:38:03,933
You've, uh, been digging
for bait, have you?
645
00:38:04,107 --> 00:38:05,979
Yes. No, no.
646
00:38:06,153 --> 00:38:09,852
Well, yes to worms and no to bait.
Ah.
647
00:38:10,026 --> 00:38:13,029
Yes, and for what purpose did
you intend to use these worms?
648
00:38:13,203 --> 00:38:14,379
Um, for my budgie.
649
00:38:16,206 --> 00:38:18,034
Naughty boy. What's it doing in a box
650
00:38:18,208 --> 00:38:19,949
without air holes? Um...
651
00:38:20,123 --> 00:38:21,821
It's dead.
652
00:38:21,995 --> 00:38:23,170
Well, if it's dead, how can it go:
653
00:38:25,477 --> 00:38:29,481
I did that. In memory of him.
654
00:38:29,655 --> 00:38:31,700
Now, look, I know
just what you're up to.
655
00:38:33,702 --> 00:38:35,617
Here, why don't you just
chuck it in the river?
656
00:38:41,493 --> 00:38:43,669
In, out!
657
00:38:43,843 --> 00:38:45,105
In, out!
658
00:38:46,541 --> 00:38:47,890
In, out!
659
00:38:49,152 --> 00:38:50,240
In...
660
00:38:54,201 --> 00:38:56,638
Cor! Cor, look at this.
661
00:38:56,812 --> 00:39:00,163
What a shape! What's up, Stroke?
662
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,732
Cor, blimey! Look at this. What is it?
663
00:39:07,257 --> 00:39:08,302
And now this. Look at it.
664
00:39:10,130 --> 00:39:11,740
It's them!
665
00:39:11,914 --> 00:39:16,919
Ooh!
Oh, Brian! Stop messing about!
666
00:39:17,093 --> 00:39:19,792
Yes? It's Mr. Bromley. Is that you, Penny?
667
00:39:19,966 --> 00:39:22,447
May I come up? Yes, of course, Mr. Bromley.
668
00:39:24,057 --> 00:39:26,842
The papers!
He mustn't see the papers!
669
00:39:27,016 --> 00:39:29,105
Over here!
670
00:39:33,066 --> 00:39:35,503
Oh, good morning, Mr. Bromley. I'll make some tea.
671
00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:38,071
Have you seen this?
672
00:39:38,245 --> 00:39:40,203
Thousands of filthy photographs
floating down the pure waters
673
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:41,422
of England's greatest river!
674
00:39:41,596 --> 00:39:43,946
Polluting the whole nation!
675
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:45,905
God help Europe if those had
ever got into the Gulf Stream.
676
00:39:46,079 --> 00:39:50,039
Oh, absolutely. You know
my mother, Mr. Bromley?
677
00:39:50,213 --> 00:39:52,564
Of course.
678
00:39:52,738 --> 00:39:55,349
I'm very pleased with David. I am so glad.
679
00:39:55,523 --> 00:39:57,830
The last time we met was
at the wedding, wasn't it?
680
00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:02,182
Eighteenth-century sauceboat. Ha-ha... I beg your pardon.
681
00:40:02,356 --> 00:40:04,619
Don't you remember? You told me
of your interest in antiques.
682
00:40:04,793 --> 00:40:08,928
Oh! Yes! Yes, I do have this
weakness for very old things.
683
00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,408
I'm delighted to see you again.
684
00:40:15,064 --> 00:40:17,197
May I ask what you are
doing up here again, Runnicles?
685
00:40:17,371 --> 00:40:19,808
I came up for some advice
on a personal problem.
686
00:40:19,982 --> 00:40:22,115
A very personal problem, sir. Really?
687
00:40:22,289 --> 00:40:25,074
Let's use one of the
other rooms for a few minutes.
688
00:40:25,248 --> 00:40:26,467
Come tell me all about it. No, no, I meant David.
689
00:40:26,641 --> 00:40:27,903
I want my advice from him.
690
00:40:28,077 --> 00:40:29,644
Won't I do? Well, no, sir, no.
691
00:40:29,818 --> 00:40:31,603
It is, in fact, rather delicate.
692
00:40:31,777 --> 00:40:35,258
He thinks he may be suffering
from a slight touch of...
693
00:40:40,220 --> 00:40:42,614
Oh, dear. Well, that is
rather different.
694
00:40:42,788 --> 00:40:44,485
Nothing to be ashamed of, mind you.
695
00:40:44,659 --> 00:40:46,487
I saw a lot of it in the army. Saw what?
696
00:40:46,661 --> 00:40:48,097
What am I supposed to have? Shut up.
697
00:40:48,271 --> 00:40:49,751
You should certainly get
some ointment for it.
698
00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:51,492
Could be due to nerves. What did you tell him?
699
00:40:53,189 --> 00:40:55,365
Good heavens. You don't get
much peace, do you?
700
00:40:58,064 --> 00:41:00,327
Special delivery.
A parcel for P. Hunter.
701
00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:02,547
Oh, not another one? Yes, well, you sign for it.
702
00:41:02,721 --> 00:41:05,506
That's a good fellow, Brian. I can't! I haven't got a pen!
703
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:06,899
Here's a pen.
704
00:41:09,728 --> 00:41:12,948
Sign here. Thank you.
705
00:41:13,122 --> 00:41:15,647
Thank you, Mr...
Yoko Omo?
706
00:41:15,821 --> 00:41:18,345
It's for Penny. For you. It must be yours.
707
00:41:18,519 --> 00:41:20,086
No.No?
708
00:41:20,260 --> 00:41:21,957
Definitely yours, Brian.
Definitely. It's your new, uh...
709
00:41:22,131 --> 00:41:24,786
Your new thingamajigs
for your scout troop.
710
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:26,266
Thingamajigs? Yes! Yes, they...
711
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,138
They rub them together
in the woods.
712
00:41:29,312 --> 00:41:32,141
Disgusting. No, no, no! Sticks for, uh...
713
00:41:32,315 --> 00:41:34,013
Badges? Badges, that's it.
714
00:41:34,187 --> 00:41:36,232
I ordered them for you
as a surprise.
715
00:41:36,406 --> 00:41:38,757
I don't want them.
They're the wrong color.
716
00:41:38,931 --> 00:41:41,194
How do know before you open it?
717
00:41:41,368 --> 00:41:43,936
Yes, how can you possibly tell,
Mr. Runnicles,
718
00:41:44,110 --> 00:41:46,112
if you haven't opened the box? They are the correct color.
719
00:41:46,286 --> 00:41:47,548
Definitely. Blue.
720
00:41:47,722 --> 00:41:48,897
Yes, good. Off you go, Brian.
721
00:41:49,071 --> 00:41:51,291
Don't thank me.
Take it downstairs.
722
00:41:51,465 --> 00:41:53,598
Keep it out of everybody's way. Yes, I'll do that.
723
00:41:53,772 --> 00:41:55,817
Then I may kill myself.
724
00:41:55,991 --> 00:41:57,384
What's the matter with Runnicles?
725
00:41:57,558 --> 00:41:58,428
Why is he always up here?
726
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,787
Do you know something, Brian?
You've got nice hands.
727
00:42:08,961 --> 00:42:11,224
They belong on a woman. What? Don't be rude.
728
00:42:11,398 --> 00:42:13,008
Now, come on.
I'm very busy, Miss Martin.
729
00:42:13,182 --> 00:42:15,489
Daphne. Here, I passed you
on my way to work this morning.
730
00:42:15,663 --> 00:42:16,838
Now, remember my position.
I'm the chief cashier.
731
00:42:17,012 --> 00:42:19,232
I could've given you a lift
on my scooter.
732
00:42:19,406 --> 00:42:21,016
What would I hold onto?
Don't answer that.
733
00:42:21,190 --> 00:42:22,931
Brian.
734
00:42:23,105 --> 00:42:24,672
Thank you, Miss Martin,
that will be all.
735
00:42:24,846 --> 00:42:25,934
Yes, Mr. Hunter.
736
00:42:27,980 --> 00:42:30,112
Right, let's open it.
737
00:42:30,286 --> 00:42:32,550
Over here.
Scissors, scissors.
738
00:42:38,207 --> 00:42:40,906
They're films. Films?
739
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,908
For one awful moment,
I thought they were...
740
00:42:43,082 --> 00:42:46,825
Oh, my God! They're blue films! Oh, no!
741
00:42:46,999 --> 00:42:49,175
"find sample
of non-flam safety rollers.
742
00:42:49,349 --> 00:42:51,786
PTO for tits... "Titles!
743
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,223
Ride a Cock Horse Side Saddle. What's does that mean?
744
00:42:54,397 --> 00:42:57,183
It means we can't burn them,
not if they're non-flam safety.
745
00:42:57,357 --> 00:43:00,360
Teasy Rider. Jack and Jill Forgot the Pill.
746
00:43:00,534 --> 00:43:02,797
Winnie the Poof.
We've got to get rid of these!
747
00:43:02,971 --> 00:43:06,235
Sure, but how?
I know. We can mince them.
748
00:43:06,409 --> 00:43:08,934
Mince them up?
Ah, yes, mince them up, eh?
749
00:43:09,108 --> 00:43:11,501
Upstairs in the waste disposal
unit, in the flat. Come on!
750
00:43:15,157 --> 00:43:17,595
I'm looking forward to seeing
them. I believe you have a pair.
751
00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:19,422
Unfortunately, no.
I had,
752
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:22,556
but one got damaged
during the war by shrapnel.
753
00:43:22,730 --> 00:43:24,645
How rotten.Yes.
754
00:43:34,133 --> 00:43:38,877
It's a porcelain cream jug.
Worcester, 1770. Sparrow beak.
755
00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:42,750
Pardon? Sparrow beak.
756
00:43:42,924 --> 00:43:45,971
The style of the jug. Oh, I knew at once.
757
00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:47,929
But I mustn't thrust
my passion onto you.
758
00:43:48,103 --> 00:43:51,150
Oh. Feel free.
759
00:43:51,324 --> 00:43:53,631
Actually,
I'm giving a little lecture
760
00:43:53,805 --> 00:43:55,545
on antiques at the Rotary Hall
this evening.
761
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:58,679
How fascinating, Leslie.
762
00:43:58,853 --> 00:44:00,246
Penny? Penny?
763
00:44:03,336 --> 00:44:05,294
In here, quickly. What on earth's the matter?
764
00:44:05,468 --> 00:44:07,340
Blue film, miles of it.
Turn on the waste disposal unit.
765
00:44:07,514 --> 00:44:08,646
There's a good girl.
766
00:44:08,820 --> 00:44:11,779
That's good, that's good.
767
00:44:11,953 --> 00:44:14,303
Not the reel as well.
No, no. I'm feeding it in.
768
00:44:14,477 --> 00:44:15,957
It's working.
769
00:44:16,131 --> 00:44:18,046
Don't do it too fast!
770
00:44:18,220 --> 00:44:21,006
Leave it to me.
I know what I'm doing.
771
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:23,312
It's got me! It's got me!
772
00:44:23,486 --> 00:44:25,184
Get me out!
773
00:44:25,358 --> 00:44:26,664
Switch off.
774
00:44:30,929 --> 00:44:34,846
Right, switch it on again. Switch on.
775
00:44:35,020 --> 00:44:38,240
It's jammed! Jammed!
Switch it off!
776
00:44:38,414 --> 00:44:39,677
Switch off. It won't go off.
777
00:44:39,851 --> 00:44:41,940
You twit! You've done it again!
778
00:44:43,768 --> 00:44:46,292
Penny? Penny?
779
00:44:46,466 --> 00:44:47,946
Your mother!
780
00:44:49,425 --> 00:44:52,646
Now look what you've done!
781
00:44:52,820 --> 00:44:55,867
Hello, Mother, you're back. No need to push.
782
00:44:56,041 --> 00:44:57,346
Brian, the tin!
783
00:45:04,614 --> 00:45:05,833
Is that the front door?
784
00:45:09,532 --> 00:45:11,970
What's going on in the kitchen? Kitchen?
785
00:45:12,144 --> 00:45:13,754
Look, it's stuck!
786
00:45:13,928 --> 00:45:15,538
Scissors, in my bag!
787
00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:17,018
Hang on, hang on.
788
00:45:17,192 --> 00:45:19,891
Imagine all this filthy film.
789
00:45:20,065 --> 00:45:22,894
Filthy film?
That's Mr. Runnicles, isn't it?
790
00:45:23,068 --> 00:45:25,113
Yes. Yes, it is, it is.
791
00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:29,030
He's trying to get
the filthy film off the sink.
792
00:45:29,204 --> 00:45:32,468
Very domesticated, isn't he?
For a man.
793
00:45:32,642 --> 00:45:35,167
Involved with boy scouts too,
I believe.
794
00:45:35,341 --> 00:45:36,908
Yes. Yes, he is. Yes.
795
00:45:37,082 --> 00:45:39,824
Oh, but he's not in...
Brian's not in any way...
796
00:45:43,436 --> 00:45:45,351
Ah, good morning, again.
797
00:45:45,525 --> 00:45:47,440
Good morning.
798
00:45:47,614 --> 00:45:49,703
I've been in the kitchen,
uh, mincing.
799
00:45:49,877 --> 00:45:52,488
Well, it takes all sorts.
800
00:45:55,622 --> 00:45:59,278
I've done it! I've done it! Right. I'm off.
801
00:45:59,452 --> 00:46:01,106
Brian, don't forget your parcel. My parcel?
802
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,021
Yes, your parcel.
You know what to do with it.
803
00:46:03,195 --> 00:46:04,022
Oh, my God!
804
00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:10,637
That man is beginning
to get on my nerves.
805
00:46:43,975 --> 00:46:47,152
All right, all right,
I believe you.
806
00:46:47,326 --> 00:46:50,416
But they haven't arrived yet.
No, none of it.
807
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:52,679
Do your best, eh, Niko?
808
00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:54,289
Good afternoon.
809
00:46:54,463 --> 00:46:56,944
Um, I wonder if you'd
like some films for nothing.
810
00:46:57,118 --> 00:46:58,859
What? Blue, are they? No, well,
811
00:46:59,033 --> 00:47:00,339
they're black and white, mostly.
812
00:47:02,602 --> 00:47:05,039
Well, I might be interested. Oh, good, because I, uh...
813
00:47:05,213 --> 00:47:06,824
I haven't got any,
do you understand?
814
00:47:06,998 --> 00:47:09,348
I haven't got any.
How dare you suggest I have!
815
00:47:09,522 --> 00:47:11,002
I was telling this fellow
all this filth and muck,
816
00:47:11,176 --> 00:47:12,960
it's absolutely disgusting!
It shouldn't be allowed.
817
00:47:13,134 --> 00:47:15,267
Exactly why I'm in here, sir. Quite right too.
818
00:47:15,441 --> 00:47:19,749
Don't I know you? No. No. No. I'm not me.
819
00:47:19,924 --> 00:47:21,708
And this is, um...
820
00:47:21,882 --> 00:47:24,537
There's badges in here, or, um,
oh, possibly a dead canary.
821
00:47:24,711 --> 00:47:26,452
Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!
822
00:47:26,626 --> 00:47:27,496
Good afternoon.
823
00:47:44,165 --> 00:47:47,299
Good night, Mr. Hunter. Good night.
824
00:47:47,473 --> 00:47:49,823
Night, Mr. Hunter. Good night, Miss Martin.
825
00:47:49,997 --> 00:47:51,564
Night, Mr. Bromley. Oh, Miss Martin.
826
00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:56,003
There's a bank inspector
coming tomorrow.
827
00:47:56,177 --> 00:47:58,353
Do see what you can do
about lowering your hemline.
828
00:48:00,616 --> 00:48:02,705
Not without showing me navel.
829
00:48:05,099 --> 00:48:06,100
Do the best you can.
830
00:48:11,932 --> 00:48:13,194
Well, David, I think that's it.
831
00:48:13,368 --> 00:48:15,631
Incidentally, where did
Runnicles disappear to?
832
00:48:15,805 --> 00:48:17,242
I gave him the afternoon off, sir.
833
00:48:17,416 --> 00:48:18,852
He wanted to get rid of something.
834
00:48:19,026 --> 00:48:21,333
A cold.
835
00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:25,554
He's behaving very strangely
lately, Runnicles. What's this?
836
00:48:25,728 --> 00:48:28,731
I don't know, sir. I don't know.
We're not expecting anything?
837
00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:30,908
Not as far as I know.
838
00:48:31,082 --> 00:48:33,432
Delivery for the name of Hunter. What? Oh, no!
839
00:48:33,606 --> 00:48:36,304
I'll help you with them.
I'm going to see your mother.
840
00:48:36,478 --> 00:48:38,263
No, no, sir. They're not for me,
they're for the bank.
841
00:48:38,437 --> 00:48:41,048
They're Brian's. It must be
Brian's digital calculator.
842
00:48:41,222 --> 00:48:43,790
Oh, yes, of course. Sign here, mate.
843
00:48:43,964 --> 00:48:45,661
Bit big for a calculator.
Why four?
844
00:48:45,835 --> 00:48:47,925
Um, uh, spares.
845
00:48:48,099 --> 00:48:49,709
All right, I'll sign. Oh, thank you, sir.
846
00:48:49,883 --> 00:48:51,624
That's a splendid idea.
847
00:48:55,149 --> 00:48:56,368
Thank you, mate. Thank you.
848
00:48:58,718 --> 00:49:00,633
Where did we order these from?
849
00:49:00,807 --> 00:49:03,592
David, our troubles are over!
I got rid of the, uh...
850
00:49:03,766 --> 00:49:06,204
The cold, the one that kept you
off work all afternoon.
851
00:49:13,820 --> 00:49:16,170
That's why I came in to work
the last 30 seconds.
852
00:49:16,344 --> 00:49:18,433
I doubt if you'll get much done
in half a minute.
853
00:49:18,607 --> 00:49:20,522
Even with the help
of your digital calculator.
854
00:49:20,696 --> 00:49:22,872
Oh, it's arrived!
Oh, marvelous!
855
00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:25,223
I'm so excited.
Can't wait to see it.
856
00:49:28,095 --> 00:49:29,488
Instruction book, I expect.
857
00:49:31,707 --> 00:49:34,058
Well, I'll leave you to it.
858
00:49:37,191 --> 00:49:39,541
And, Runnicles...
859
00:49:39,715 --> 00:49:42,240
Try shaving a little
more closely in the mornings.
860
00:49:44,285 --> 00:49:45,852
There you are, darling.
861
00:49:49,029 --> 00:49:50,117
Come along, Leslie.
862
00:49:50,291 --> 00:49:51,814
Mustn't be late for your lecture.
863
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:53,816
I was just coming for you.
864
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:56,254
May I say
you look absolutely charming.
865
00:49:56,428 --> 00:49:58,996
They're real, you know.
866
00:49:59,170 --> 00:50:01,128
Oh, I wouldn't have doubted it
for a moment.
867
00:50:04,131 --> 00:50:06,394
Back for supper later, David.Right.
868
00:50:06,568 --> 00:50:08,222
Hope you like herb omelet.
869
00:50:08,396 --> 00:50:10,050
Oh, is that
the Tijuana Brass fellow?
870
00:50:10,224 --> 00:50:12,792
Steady. Oh, I see what you mean.
871
00:50:14,837 --> 00:50:16,578
It's absolutely filthy.
Look at it.
872
00:50:16,752 --> 00:50:19,016
They must all be the same. We can't leave them here.
873
00:50:19,190 --> 00:50:21,235
Take them up to the flat for the
time being. I've got an idea.
874
00:50:21,409 --> 00:50:23,107
All of them?
On my own? David! Oh!
875
00:50:26,762 --> 00:50:28,199
"With the compliments
876
00:50:28,373 --> 00:50:29,983
of the Scandinavian
Import Company, Soho."
877
00:50:30,157 --> 00:50:31,724
That's not the same firm.
878
00:50:31,898 --> 00:50:34,292
They can jolly well send someone
to take them back!
879
00:50:43,997 --> 00:50:46,521
Scandinavian Import Company. Hello? I'm speaking to you
880
00:50:46,695 --> 00:50:48,784
on behalf of Mr. Hunter.
Now, he doesn't want
881
00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:50,743
any of the stuff
you sent round, you understand?
882
00:50:50,917 --> 00:50:52,745
Hunter? What? Windsor?
883
00:50:52,919 --> 00:50:55,226
Yes. So you'd better get
somebody round here at once.
884
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:56,836
I don't...
885
00:50:57,010 --> 00:50:59,534
Oh, I'm with you.
886
00:50:59,708 --> 00:51:03,103
Like in Cheltenham, eh?
How many, one or two?
887
00:51:03,277 --> 00:51:06,063
Two, I should think. There's an
awful lot of moving to be done.
888
00:51:06,237 --> 00:51:08,108
Ah, they're lovely movers.
889
00:51:08,282 --> 00:51:10,589
It's a bit short notice,
but I'll see what I can do.
890
00:51:10,763 --> 00:51:12,504
I can't promise anything, right?
891
00:51:12,678 --> 00:51:14,984
You better do better
than you did the last time.
892
00:51:15,159 --> 00:51:16,464
Better than... Hello?
Hello?
893
00:51:23,036 --> 00:51:25,256
Hello? Hello, Niko.
894
00:51:27,519 --> 00:51:29,042
Windsor?
895
00:51:29,216 --> 00:51:31,784
But we're only just getting up.
896
00:51:31,958 --> 00:51:33,742
We didn't get home
till00 this morning.
897
00:51:43,491 --> 00:51:49,236
Ah, that's the last.
I've locked the bank. Penny!
898
00:51:49,410 --> 00:51:53,762
They're awful. Surely this
picture's upside down.
899
00:51:53,936 --> 00:51:58,854
It's even worse that way. Oh, what a day. What a day.
900
00:51:59,028 --> 00:52:02,031
What a grueling day.
Grueling indeed.
901
00:52:02,206 --> 00:52:04,208
Take them all downstairs again.
I've borrowed a van.
902
00:52:04,382 --> 00:52:06,123
Oh, no! Oh, yes.
903
00:52:06,297 --> 00:52:08,647
We're gonna chuck them all
on the corporation rubbish tip.
904
00:52:08,821 --> 00:52:10,605
That's what we should've done
in the first place.
905
00:52:10,779 --> 00:52:13,304
What did you with them? I was rather cunning about that.
906
00:52:13,478 --> 00:52:16,002
There was this old junk lorry.
I waited for the right moment,
907
00:52:16,176 --> 00:52:17,264
threw them in the back.
908
00:52:17,438 --> 00:52:19,353
Probably be miles away by now.
909
00:52:22,313 --> 00:52:24,619
This way, my dear. The lecture
hall's just through there.
910
00:52:24,793 --> 00:52:25,838
Oh, good.
911
00:52:28,406 --> 00:52:30,669
Ah, Mr. Bromley.
We're all ready for you.
912
00:52:30,843 --> 00:52:32,410
Thank you, John.
Bertha, may I introduce
913
00:52:32,584 --> 00:52:33,889
a fellow Rotarian,
the Reverend Mower.
914
00:52:34,063 --> 00:52:35,935
Oh, a Rotary mower!
915
00:52:39,068 --> 00:52:40,418
Quite.
916
00:52:43,725 --> 00:52:46,467
Awfully sorry. Well, now, do go through.
917
00:52:46,641 --> 00:52:48,600
I think I'd like to powder my nose.
918
00:52:48,774 --> 00:52:51,516
Ah, you want to see
a man about a dog.
919
00:52:51,690 --> 00:52:53,605
No, I want to powder my nose.
920
00:52:53,779 --> 00:52:56,564
You see, if I wanted
to see a man about a dog,
921
00:52:56,738 --> 00:52:58,784
I would have said
I wanted to wash my hands.
922
00:53:00,481 --> 00:53:04,224
Oh, never mind.
Come along.
923
00:53:04,398 --> 00:53:07,575
Of course, yes.
Rotary mower!
924
00:53:09,447 --> 00:53:10,796
Well...
925
00:53:38,650 --> 00:53:40,608
Any more? One more pile.
926
00:53:43,568 --> 00:53:45,352
Evening, Miss Martin.
927
00:53:49,356 --> 00:53:50,792
Hello, Brian.
I thought it was you.
928
00:53:50,966 --> 00:53:52,403
I recognized your walk.
929
00:53:52,577 --> 00:53:54,579
I don't always walk like that,
Miss Martin.
930
00:53:54,753 --> 00:53:56,363
I was just on me way
to the pictures.
931
00:53:56,537 --> 00:53:58,887
All on me own. Alone.
With no one.
932
00:53:59,061 --> 00:54:03,588
I'm busy, because I'm taking
these books back to the library.
933
00:54:03,762 --> 00:54:05,024
Do you read all these?
934
00:54:05,198 --> 00:54:06,808
No, I don't read
this sort of, uh...
935
00:54:06,982 --> 00:54:08,593
Well, as a matt...
I don't read books.
936
00:54:08,767 --> 00:54:11,683
Well, what do you do with them?
937
00:54:11,857 --> 00:54:16,644
Stand on them, um,
to reach the gas meter.
938
00:54:16,818 --> 00:54:19,038
I'm just changing these
because it gets very boring
939
00:54:19,212 --> 00:54:22,607
standing on the same books
night after night.
940
00:54:22,781 --> 00:54:27,176
Well, um, bye-bye, Miss Martin. You don't fancy coming, then?
941
00:54:27,351 --> 00:54:30,179
You could come back to my place.
Me mum won't be there.
942
00:54:30,354 --> 00:54:32,181
Neither will I. No, thank you.
943
00:54:32,356 --> 00:54:34,967
I wouldn't mind dropping
them off for you.
944
00:54:35,141 --> 00:54:36,969
What? The books.
945
00:54:37,143 --> 00:54:40,842
Oh, no, thank you. I can manage. Oh, well. Please yourself.
946
00:54:41,016 --> 00:54:43,541
If you wanna turn your back
on bliss. Good night, Brian.
947
00:54:43,715 --> 00:54:44,977
Good night, Miss Martin.
948
00:54:46,718 --> 00:54:49,982
Oh! Oh, hello again,
Miss Martin.
949
00:54:50,156 --> 00:54:53,594
Oh, come on, Brian, get them in.
950
00:54:53,768 --> 00:54:56,684
Don't rush me.
I've done myself a mischief.
951
00:54:56,858 --> 00:54:58,207
Brian,
this is no time for horseplay!
952
00:55:02,603 --> 00:55:04,605
Just a minute, I'm stuck again.
953
00:55:04,779 --> 00:55:05,998
Stop complaining.
954
00:55:10,611 --> 00:55:11,308
Oh...
955
00:55:17,879 --> 00:55:19,490
Well, come on, Brian!
956
00:55:37,072 --> 00:55:38,857
Brian, keep down! The police!
957
00:55:50,216 --> 00:55:52,000
Herb omelet.
958
00:55:53,393 --> 00:55:57,919
Soya beans. Chili peppers.
959
00:56:04,883 --> 00:56:07,625
Ah, yes, hello. Good evening,
the door was open.
960
00:56:09,714 --> 00:56:13,500
Good heavens! Here, are you ill?
961
00:56:16,808 --> 00:56:18,636
What are you doing?
What's the matter?
962
00:56:20,725 --> 00:56:22,161
Is it your throat?
963
00:56:24,119 --> 00:56:26,383
I didn't know Niko had
any clients in Windsor.
964
00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:29,777
Hm. I wonder if we'll get paid
according to how far we go.
965
00:56:29,951 --> 00:56:32,954
Well, we usually do. No, I mean distance.
966
00:56:33,128 --> 00:56:35,304
Twenty miles, you know.
Better get a move on.
967
00:56:35,479 --> 00:56:38,003
It'll be pretty boring for him
if he starts without us.
968
00:57:02,810 --> 00:57:05,073
It's all right, she's gone. Let me out!
969
00:57:05,247 --> 00:57:09,817
All right, all right.
Don't panic. Keys...?
970
00:57:09,991 --> 00:57:12,298
Oh, no! Oh, my God!
971
00:57:14,039 --> 00:57:15,606
Hang on.
972
00:57:15,780 --> 00:57:17,564
Can you, uh...?
Can you talk now?
973
00:57:17,738 --> 00:57:19,784
I mean, is it better?
Have some more.
974
00:57:19,958 --> 00:57:21,612
Oh, chili. Oh, I'll close the door then.
975
00:57:21,786 --> 00:57:24,049
No, hot. Oh, I'll leave it open.
976
00:57:24,223 --> 00:57:26,486
Thank you. Not at all.
977
00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:31,970
Oh, incidentally,
you'll be wondering who I...
978
00:57:32,144 --> 00:57:35,452
Well, I'm the inspector.
979
00:57:35,626 --> 00:57:37,366
Another one? No. The first one.
980
00:57:37,541 --> 00:57:39,456
I mean, what other one?
981
00:57:39,630 --> 00:57:41,501
Could I speak to Mr. Hunter?
Oh, are you Mrs. Hunter?
982
00:57:43,372 --> 00:57:47,594
What's left of her.
Oh, and you want to see David?
983
00:57:47,768 --> 00:57:50,510
Yes, I would like to. I'm terribly sorry, because...
984
00:57:50,684 --> 00:57:53,252
Penny! Penny! Have you
got a crowbar? Quickly, darling!
985
00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:54,732
I wonder who that could be.
986
00:57:58,387 --> 00:58:01,260
Go away. The police! There's
an inspector in the living room!
987
00:58:01,434 --> 00:58:02,696
Who? Paul? No, a new one.
988
00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:05,482
Oh, my God! They must be closing in.
989
00:58:05,656 --> 00:58:06,918
This is ridiculous.
We're not the Mafia.
990
00:58:07,092 --> 00:58:08,789
I'm gonna put a stop to it
once and for all.
991
00:58:08,963 --> 00:58:10,617
How? By doing what I should have done
992
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:12,489
with Paul. I'm gonna make
a clean breast of it.
993
00:58:15,361 --> 00:58:18,059
Right, I'm David Hunter. I
understand you're an inspector.
994
00:58:18,233 --> 00:58:20,192
Oh, that is correct.
Good evening. I mean, hello.
995
00:58:20,366 --> 00:58:22,063
Now, look, inspector,
do I look like a criminal? Hm?
996
00:58:22,237 --> 00:58:24,196
Does Penny, uh, my wife
look like a criminal?
997
00:58:24,370 --> 00:58:27,025
Criminal? You?
Um, I don't understand.
998
00:58:27,199 --> 00:58:29,680
I'm not hiding anything.
This is a waste of time,
999
00:58:29,854 --> 00:58:31,595
but I'm going to tell you
all about it.
1000
00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:34,162
All about it, good. Very good.
That's why I'm here.
1001
00:58:34,336 --> 00:58:36,774
I mean, that's my job.
I shall have to see for myself.
1002
00:58:36,948 --> 00:58:39,037
See what for yourself? Well, the books.
1003
00:58:39,211 --> 00:58:40,778
I shall have to see the books.
1004
00:58:40,952 --> 00:58:42,344
Those books. Would you believe
1005
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:44,085
I was going to chuck them
on the rubbish dump?
1006
00:58:44,259 --> 00:58:46,653
What? On the rubbish dump?
Books?
1007
00:58:46,827 --> 00:58:48,437
The first lot
we threw in the river.
1008
00:58:48,612 --> 00:58:50,918
In the river?
But this is fantastic.
1009
00:58:51,092 --> 00:58:52,703
We were desperate
to get rid of them.
1010
00:58:52,877 --> 00:58:55,053
Get rid of them? Do you think
you are an anarchist?
1011
00:58:55,227 --> 00:58:56,489
Destroying the books!
1012
00:58:56,663 --> 00:58:58,273
No, the first lot were photos
not books.
1013
00:58:58,447 --> 00:58:59,666
Photos, Photostats,
what's the difference?
1014
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:02,669
Bankbooks destroyed, ruined! Hang on.
1015
00:59:02,843 --> 00:59:05,411
Hang on, bank... Bank records?
1016
00:59:05,585 --> 00:59:08,545
Who exactly are you? The bank inspector, Needham.
1017
00:59:08,719 --> 00:59:11,896
Arnold Needham. Oh, oh... Of course. Of course.
1018
00:59:12,070 --> 00:59:14,725
And you thought that I meant...
1019
00:59:14,899 --> 00:59:17,771
This is really rather funny.
I was talking about something...
1020
00:59:17,945 --> 00:59:20,208
About those moldy books
you found in the attic.
1021
00:59:20,382 --> 00:59:23,821
You see, David assumed
you were the fire inspector.
1022
00:59:23,995 --> 00:59:26,693
Yes, that's what...!
Yes, that's what I assumed!
1023
00:59:26,867 --> 00:59:29,348
I assumed you were
the fire inspector!
1024
00:59:29,522 --> 00:59:31,132
Well done, darling.
1025
00:59:31,306 --> 00:59:33,570
Good heavens.
Well, what a relief.
1026
00:59:33,744 --> 00:59:36,094
Then the records, they're safe?
They're quite safe?
1027
00:59:36,268 --> 00:59:38,139
Absolutely.
We're ready for your inspection.
1028
00:59:38,313 --> 00:59:41,316
Oh, good. You see, actually
I came to see Mr. Bromley,
1029
00:59:41,490 --> 00:59:44,493
in the past he has put me up in
this flat, as a matter of fact.
1030
00:59:44,668 --> 00:59:46,452
This is still bank
accommodation, is it not?
1031
00:59:49,934 --> 00:59:51,326
What's the matter with your voice?
1032
01:00:06,994 --> 01:00:09,388
Yes. This will do splendidly.
Thank you. Most kind.
1033
01:00:09,562 --> 01:00:10,911
It's the least we could do.
1034
01:00:11,085 --> 01:00:12,130
I'm tempted to have an early night.
1035
01:00:12,304 --> 01:00:13,261
Please do!
1036
01:00:13,435 --> 01:00:14,785
Ah, why not?
1037
01:00:14,959 --> 01:00:18,136
Oh, I forgot to mention,
I shall need a girl.
1038
01:00:18,310 --> 01:00:19,964
But there's an electric blanket.
1039
01:00:20,138 --> 01:00:21,792
Hm? In the morning,
to take dictation.
1040
01:00:21,966 --> 01:00:23,315
I always say an hour
before breakfast
1041
01:00:23,489 --> 01:00:24,446
is worth three afterwards.
1042
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:25,970
Oh, you're so right.
1043
01:00:26,144 --> 01:00:27,928
That's what you always say,
isn't it, darling?
1044
01:01:18,805 --> 01:01:20,633
Keep an eye on it. Yes, sir.
1045
01:01:25,203 --> 01:01:26,378
What about the man whose van it is?
1046
01:01:26,552 --> 01:01:27,988
Who the van belongs to?
1047
01:01:28,162 --> 01:01:31,296
I'm just going to break
the window, that's all.
1048
01:01:31,470 --> 01:01:34,125
Downstairs! The books! The van!
The police are downstairs!
1049
01:01:34,299 --> 01:01:35,779
Not in that room.
There's an inspector in there.
1050
01:01:35,953 --> 01:01:38,042
It's a manhunt!
What am I going to do?
1051
01:01:38,216 --> 01:01:39,347
Brian, will you stop messing about!
1052
01:01:43,177 --> 01:01:45,266
Yes? Help me, Penny.
1053
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:47,704
Oh, yes, Inspector Paul. Mind my spectacles.
1054
01:01:47,878 --> 01:01:51,098
Do come up. Me spectacles! The other end!
1055
01:01:54,101 --> 01:01:57,061
He's after me. I knew it!
Good heavens, what am I doing?
1056
01:01:57,235 --> 01:01:59,846
Penny, quickly, get him
in the bedroom.
1057
01:02:06,679 --> 01:02:07,941
Right, now follow my lead.
1058
01:02:11,423 --> 01:02:13,555
Oh, good evening, Inspector. Good evening, Mr. Hunter.
1059
01:02:15,383 --> 01:02:19,605
Ah, we're making an omelet. Ah, yes. Yes.
1060
01:02:19,779 --> 01:02:23,522
I was passing and I saw a van
outside the bank in the alley.
1061
01:02:23,696 --> 01:02:26,133
Oh? Oh, really? A van? Yes.
1062
01:02:26,307 --> 01:02:28,875
One of my women constables
made a report about it.
1063
01:02:29,049 --> 01:02:31,225
We're keeping a special watch
because of Runnicles' prowler.
1064
01:02:31,399 --> 01:02:35,012
Runnicles, yes, it's his van. But he's not here.
1065
01:02:35,186 --> 01:02:37,536
No, he just popped down
to the pub for a quick drink.
1066
01:02:37,710 --> 01:02:39,059
I thought I saw him in the street.
1067
01:02:39,233 --> 01:02:40,887
I hope he's not
having one for road.
1068
01:02:41,061 --> 01:02:43,107
Very hot on drinking
and driving, our bench.
1069
01:02:43,281 --> 01:02:45,413
I'll make a special point of
warning him. Good night.
1070
01:02:45,587 --> 01:02:46,893
Good night, Mr. Hunter.
Night, Mrs. Hunter.
1071
01:02:47,067 --> 01:02:48,373
Good night. Night.
1072
01:02:50,636 --> 01:02:52,594
We'll give him five minutes
to get clear,
1073
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:54,945
and then we'll get the rest
of those books together.
1074
01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:57,904
I heard that! I heard that! Oh, shh!
1075
01:02:58,078 --> 01:02:59,732
I'm a drunken driver, am I?
1076
01:02:59,906 --> 01:03:01,821
And a chain smoker
with horrible diseases.
1077
01:03:01,995 --> 01:03:03,823
And hallucinations
about mysterious prowlers!
1078
01:03:03,997 --> 01:03:05,303
Oh, Brian. That's it!
1079
01:03:05,477 --> 01:03:07,522
I've had enough.
I've made up my mind.
1080
01:03:07,696 --> 01:03:10,003
Definitely. I'm going to resign
my position at the bank!
1081
01:03:12,266 --> 01:03:14,355
Well, what about that, then? And the best of luck!
1082
01:03:14,529 --> 01:03:16,183
I'll get the books.
1083
01:03:16,357 --> 01:03:18,142
That's gratitude for you.
After all I've been through,
1084
01:03:18,316 --> 01:03:20,884
even Penny's turned on me now. Do stop whining, Brian!
1085
01:03:21,058 --> 01:03:23,060
It's a bid dodgy at the moment.
It's no worse for you than us.
1086
01:03:23,234 --> 01:03:24,844
Oh, yes, it is! It certainly is!
1087
01:03:25,018 --> 01:03:27,542
You don't have to rush in there
every time a door opens.
1088
01:03:27,716 --> 01:03:29,414
Oh, blast!
1089
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:33,810
My wife. Just the same
with car doors.
1090
01:03:33,984 --> 01:03:37,291
So's mine. She's rather
a heavy-handed lady.
1091
01:03:37,465 --> 01:03:39,337
Oh, yes? Look, I am sorry to bother you,
1092
01:03:39,511 --> 01:03:41,556
but I wondered if I might have
a glass of water.
1093
01:03:41,730 --> 01:03:43,515
My, uh... My sleeping capsules,
you know.
1094
01:03:43,689 --> 01:03:45,473
Of course, Mr. Needham,
allow me.
1095
01:03:45,647 --> 01:03:48,128
I would get it myself,
but not having a dressing gown,
1096
01:03:48,302 --> 01:03:49,956
and your good lady,
you do understand.
1097
01:03:50,130 --> 01:03:52,959
Yes, of course. How many? Just one in half a glass.
1098
01:03:53,133 --> 01:03:55,657
They're very efficacious
and quick-acting as well.
1099
01:03:55,832 --> 01:03:57,877
Don't open that door!
The inspector!
1100
01:03:58,051 --> 01:03:59,792
For goodness sake,
pull yourself together, Brian!
1101
01:03:59,966 --> 01:04:00,880
What is happening to me?
1102
01:04:03,361 --> 01:04:04,536
Oh, dear.
1103
01:04:12,544 --> 01:04:14,328
What are you doing? A sleeping pill for Needham.
1104
01:04:14,502 --> 01:04:16,765
The sooner he's out, the better.
What are you doing?
1105
01:04:16,940 --> 01:04:17,723
Making sure. Penny, you can't...
1106
01:04:17,897 --> 01:04:19,638
This is no time to take chances.
1107
01:04:19,812 --> 01:04:21,770
Brian's getting worked up
and I think he might crack.
1108
01:04:21,945 --> 01:04:23,729
I've got the answer. Destroy
the evidence. I'll eat it.
1109
01:04:23,903 --> 01:04:25,949
I see what you mean.
1110
01:04:26,123 --> 01:04:29,213
Brian. Brian. Brian. Brian.
1111
01:04:29,387 --> 01:04:32,477
Come on, just give me the book.
You cannot eat paper!
1112
01:04:32,651 --> 01:04:34,914
Brian! Come on. Shh!
1113
01:04:37,656 --> 01:04:40,093
Come in! Here we are, Mr. Needham.
1114
01:04:42,182 --> 01:04:44,881
Your sleeping draught. Thank you, how very kind.
1115
01:04:45,055 --> 01:04:47,884
Glad I didn't have to wait
too long. Might've nodded off.
1116
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:55,326
Come on, Brian.
Come on, spit it out. Come on.
1117
01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:57,632
I can't keep on the run
like this from the police.
1118
01:04:57,806 --> 01:04:59,896
I must give myself up,
confess everything.
1119
01:05:00,070 --> 01:05:01,636
Oh, don't talk such utter rubbish!
1120
01:05:01,810 --> 01:05:04,161
I'm at the end of my tether,
I've got a pounding headache.
1121
01:05:04,335 --> 01:05:06,467
Ah, yes! He better have
two of our Disprin.
1122
01:05:06,641 --> 01:05:08,295
Disprin? Yes, darling,
1123
01:05:08,469 --> 01:05:10,080
I wouldn't offer them to him
if he didn't Needham.
1124
01:05:10,254 --> 01:05:13,605
Need them? Oh, "Needham."
Of course. Quickly, darling.
1125
01:05:13,779 --> 01:05:15,607
It's just as well.
I couldn't have eaten that.
1126
01:05:15,781 --> 01:05:16,913
Look at it! Ugh!
1127
01:05:18,784 --> 01:05:20,829
Here you are. This'll get rid
of your headache.
1128
01:05:21,004 --> 01:05:22,483
Two? Yes, two.
1129
01:05:22,657 --> 01:05:23,963
Perhaps just a little sip.
1130
01:05:25,530 --> 01:05:27,314
Look at that.
I've swallowed it all.
1131
01:05:27,488 --> 01:05:28,925
Good. Good.
Come along then, Brian.
1132
01:05:29,099 --> 01:05:30,448
Come and lie down for a minute.
1133
01:05:30,622 --> 01:05:32,667
You'll feel better for it. Yes, for a minute or two,
1134
01:05:32,841 --> 01:05:34,452
then I'll get out of here.
1135
01:05:34,626 --> 01:05:36,715
Right. Now, when those two
are asleep,
1136
01:05:36,889 --> 01:05:39,065
we'll take the van
and we'll dump the books.
1137
01:05:39,239 --> 01:05:41,111
Darling, I love you.
1138
01:05:42,677 --> 01:05:45,854
And whilst
the George I kneehole desk
1139
01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:48,292
will always hold its value,
1140
01:05:48,466 --> 01:05:54,385
I do advise you all to stick
to 18th-century commodes.
1141
01:05:54,559 --> 01:05:56,387
And now, with the help of
the Reverend Mower,
1142
01:05:56,561 --> 01:05:58,345
I'm going to show you a short film
1143
01:05:58,519 --> 01:06:02,045
of some of the pieces at the
Duke of Radford's stately home.
1144
01:06:02,219 --> 01:06:05,657
You ready, vicar?
1145
01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:08,051
Now, first,
we shall see what is probably
1146
01:06:08,225 --> 01:06:10,227
one of the Duke's favorite pieces.
1147
01:06:10,401 --> 01:06:14,144
Note the bow legs and
the fine handwork on the doors.
1148
01:06:14,318 --> 01:06:16,494
Some people say this is
a reproduction,
1149
01:06:16,668 --> 01:06:18,887
but to me,
it looks like the real thing.
1150
01:06:21,281 --> 01:06:24,110
Now, if you glance
at this William and Mary...
1151
01:06:24,284 --> 01:06:26,895
Good God Almighty! Vicar!
1152
01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:28,767
Disgusting! Disgusting!
1153
01:06:28,941 --> 01:06:32,684
Reverend, turn it off! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
1154
01:06:32,858 --> 01:06:34,077
Sit down, I can't see!
1155
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:38,951
Good grief!
1156
01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:41,214
Get off! Get off!
1157
01:06:41,388 --> 01:06:44,087
Vicar, get a grip on yourself, man!
1158
01:06:46,959 --> 01:06:51,181
Take your hand off the switch! Leslie, Leslie, steady.
1159
01:06:51,355 --> 01:06:53,226
Lights! Lights!
Put the lights up!
1160
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:54,662
Turn the lights on, somebody!
1161
01:06:57,622 --> 01:06:59,537
Wait a minute,
did I shut the front door?
1162
01:06:59,711 --> 01:07:02,279
Now, don't worry about it.
We'll only be gone 10 minutes.
1163
01:07:19,513 --> 01:07:23,300
This is it, 131. Wakey, wakey!
1164
01:08:00,685 --> 01:08:03,166
Nice to feel wanted, isn't it? Come on, let's go up.
1165
01:08:33,805 --> 01:08:36,590
Hello? Who's there? Hello?
1166
01:08:36,764 --> 01:08:40,290
It's us, Barbara and Susan.
The girls.
1167
01:08:40,464 --> 01:08:46,252
Oh. Oh, girls, of course.
Work. Yeah, come in. Come in.
1168
01:08:46,426 --> 01:08:48,820
Can you open the door?
1169
01:08:48,994 --> 01:08:51,605
Yeah, I can open the door.
1170
01:08:51,779 --> 01:08:53,738
No, not that door, this door.
1171
01:08:56,088 --> 01:08:59,613
Oh, this door.
This door's... Coming.
1172
01:09:01,267 --> 01:09:02,790
Come in. Come in. At last!
1173
01:09:08,187 --> 01:09:10,842
Nice room.Mmm.
1174
01:09:11,016 --> 01:09:12,757
Nice color.
1175
01:09:12,931 --> 01:09:15,281
Archbishop of Canterbury's
bedroom's this color.
1176
01:09:15,455 --> 01:09:17,370
How do you know? Saw it on the telly.
1177
01:09:17,544 --> 01:09:18,850
A documentary.
1178
01:09:30,340 --> 01:09:31,645
Must be over there.
1179
01:09:33,952 --> 01:09:35,171
Oh, yes, that's it.
1180
01:09:44,876 --> 01:09:47,139
Right. That's the lot.
Now, let's get out of here.
1181
01:09:56,975 --> 01:09:58,455
Right, let's get to it.
1182
01:10:04,852 --> 01:10:06,941
Oh, ready?
1183
01:10:07,115 --> 01:10:10,293
Sit down here
and prepare for dictation.
1184
01:10:10,467 --> 01:10:13,861
Oh! So you want
to play secretaries?
1185
01:10:14,035 --> 01:10:16,560
That's right, secretaries. That's all right by me.
1186
01:10:16,734 --> 01:10:17,387
Yes.
1187
01:10:20,738 --> 01:10:23,480
Memo to Messrs Fleming and Har...
1188
01:10:29,137 --> 01:10:32,010
Memo to Messrs Fleming
and Hardcastle.
1189
01:10:32,184 --> 01:10:34,578
C Section, Head Office.
1190
01:10:34,752 --> 01:10:38,364
My inspection
of the Twickenham branch.
1191
01:10:38,538 --> 01:10:42,542
I've made a thorough check
of the statistics,
1192
01:10:42,716 --> 01:10:45,763
and I find that...
1193
01:10:47,286 --> 01:10:49,593
Thank goodness that's all over.
1194
01:10:49,767 --> 01:10:51,725
And those two should be
flat out by now.
1195
01:10:51,899 --> 01:10:57,427
Next memo.
Messrs Needham and memo...
1196
01:10:57,601 --> 01:11:00,778
A letter for secretary Needham...
1197
01:11:00,952 --> 01:11:02,388
David.
1198
01:11:02,562 --> 01:11:03,998
I've made an inspection...
1199
01:11:04,172 --> 01:11:07,001
What on earth is going on?
1200
01:11:07,175 --> 01:11:09,047
Mr. Needham? Hm?
1201
01:11:09,221 --> 01:11:11,267
Mr. Needham! Ah.
1202
01:11:11,441 --> 01:11:14,313
Excuse me. Ah, Mr. Hunter,
we were just taking things down.
1203
01:11:14,487 --> 01:11:15,836
Oh, you're Mr. Hunter?
1204
01:11:16,010 --> 01:11:17,229
Niko sent us. Who?
1205
01:11:17,403 --> 01:11:18,578
Niko. The books
and the photos.
1206
01:11:18,752 --> 01:11:19,927
I don't know anybody called... What?
1207
01:11:22,103 --> 01:11:25,716
Just leave Mr. Needham alone.
Get dressed!
1208
01:11:25,890 --> 01:11:27,805
What about Brian?
1209
01:11:27,979 --> 01:11:30,851
I'm awfully sorry. The whole
thing is a terrible mistake.
1210
01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:33,376
Do you mean, he doesn't want it?
Of course he doesn't want it!
1211
01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:34,594
He shouldn't be getting it!
1212
01:11:34,768 --> 01:11:36,988
Look, please! Look, I am sorry,
Mr. Needham.
1213
01:11:37,162 --> 01:11:39,512
It isn't at all what it seems.
1214
01:11:39,686 --> 01:11:41,471
He's gone to sleep on us.
How insulting.
1215
01:11:41,645 --> 01:11:43,124
Where's his pajama cord?
1216
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:45,823
Oh, my God, the whole thing
is an absolute disaster!
1217
01:11:45,997 --> 01:11:47,781
And for heaven's sake,
put something on!
1218
01:11:49,435 --> 01:11:51,437
Oh, it's the gear he wants.
1219
01:11:51,611 --> 01:11:53,787
Back to the bathroom.
1220
01:11:53,961 --> 01:11:55,398
Don't go away.
1221
01:12:19,204 --> 01:12:20,988
Mr. Needham?
1222
01:12:21,162 --> 01:12:24,862
What are you doing
against the wall, Mr. Needham?
1223
01:12:25,036 --> 01:12:27,604
Where the hell could it be? What's he up to, David?
1224
01:12:27,778 --> 01:12:30,824
Hmm? He's sleeping. David, his trousers!
1225
01:12:32,957 --> 01:12:35,133
Don't look, darling,
it's not a pretty sight.
1226
01:12:38,223 --> 01:12:42,096
Oh, eh? What are...? What are
you doing with my tassel?
1227
01:12:42,270 --> 01:12:43,707
It's all right, Mr. Needham,
don't worry about a thing.
1228
01:12:43,881 --> 01:12:45,752
You've had a nasty dream,
and, uh...
1229
01:12:45,926 --> 01:12:47,406
We're just getting you back to bed.
1230
01:12:47,580 --> 01:12:48,668
Oh, thank you. I must say,
1231
01:12:48,842 --> 01:12:49,669
I really rather enjoyed it.
1232
01:12:49,843 --> 01:12:51,323
They're back!
1233
01:12:51,497 --> 01:12:54,457
The vicar simply went
into a state of shock.
1234
01:12:54,631 --> 01:12:57,503
Here.
It was a full five minutes
1235
01:12:57,677 --> 01:12:59,157
before he could switch
the projector off.
1236
01:12:59,331 --> 01:13:01,507
Dreadful mix-up somewhere. I wouldn't say anything
1237
01:13:01,681 --> 01:13:03,335
to the children. They're
not used to that sort of thing.
1238
01:13:03,509 --> 01:13:06,164
Oh, not a word.
1239
01:13:06,338 --> 01:13:09,385
Oh, hello, dears. Hello, Mother. Mr. Bromley.
1240
01:13:09,559 --> 01:13:11,996
Did you enjoy the lecture? Well, it was different.
1241
01:13:12,170 --> 01:13:14,564
Good, good. Well, look,
supper isn't ready quite yet,
1242
01:13:14,738 --> 01:13:16,609
so why don't we all go upstairs.
1243
01:13:16,783 --> 01:13:19,046
I'd very much value
your opinion, Mr. Bromley,
1244
01:13:19,220 --> 01:13:21,309
on a piece of old china
in Bertha's room.
1245
01:13:21,484 --> 01:13:22,876
- You can't show him that.
- Why not?
1246
01:13:23,050 --> 01:13:25,052
I'm most interested in anything
you have to show me.
1247
01:13:25,226 --> 01:13:27,446
Quickly, darling, drinks.
We'll have them up here.
1248
01:14:14,580 --> 01:14:16,713
Good God! They're forming
a guard of honor!
1249
01:14:16,887 --> 01:14:18,758
Come on, Mr. Needham,
up you get.
1250
01:14:18,932 --> 01:14:20,717
Come on, Brian.
1251
01:14:24,503 --> 01:14:26,853
Now, you wait there.
1252
01:14:27,027 --> 01:14:29,682
Oh! Come on, Mr. Needham,
wake up! Wake up!
1253
01:14:29,856 --> 01:14:32,816
We've got to get you back to bed
so you can go to sleep again.
1254
01:14:32,990 --> 01:14:35,688
I don't want to go back to bed.
I'm having such a lovely dream.
1255
01:14:35,862 --> 01:14:38,691
Up, up and away!
1256
01:14:41,041 --> 01:14:46,090
Oh, where's everybody gone?
Hello, who's this?
1257
01:14:46,264 --> 01:14:48,962
Hello, darling. You didn't send
for a couple of girls, did you?
1258
01:14:49,136 --> 01:14:51,530
Girls? Books. Yes, yes.
1259
01:14:51,704 --> 01:14:54,054
Oh, it was him who sent for us.
1260
01:14:54,228 --> 01:14:56,622
I'd have thought they'd send
a couple of well-built blokes,
1261
01:14:56,796 --> 01:14:57,928
but if you think you can...
1262
01:14:58,102 --> 01:15:00,234
Oh!
1263
01:15:00,408 --> 01:15:03,455
Oh! Oh, I knew I was going
to have a breakdown.
1264
01:15:03,629 --> 01:15:06,066
Oh, I want to confess.
I want to do it now.
1265
01:15:06,240 --> 01:15:08,242
We're going to do it now!
1266
01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:11,202
No! No! I work in a bank!
1267
01:15:13,030 --> 01:15:14,292
Brian?
1268
01:15:14,466 --> 01:15:15,685
No, you can't get in with me!
1269
01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:16,860
It's not big enough! Yes,
1270
01:15:17,034 --> 01:15:19,036
it's a most interesting piece
of chinaware.
1271
01:15:19,210 --> 01:15:22,126
Oh! Early 1920s, I should say, yes.
1272
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:24,258
Don't come down yet!
1273
01:15:24,432 --> 01:15:25,738
You haven't seen the view
from Bertha's window.
1274
01:15:25,912 --> 01:15:27,435
There's nothing
but a blank brick wall.
1275
01:15:27,610 --> 01:15:29,960
Ah, but beyond that,
four counties! Marvelous!
1276
01:15:30,134 --> 01:15:32,876
They'll get me.
Don't let them get me.
1277
01:15:33,050 --> 01:15:36,314
Oh, no! No!
1278
01:15:36,488 --> 01:15:39,012
No! No! No!
1279
01:15:39,186 --> 01:15:41,101
Get them off.
1280
01:15:41,275 --> 01:15:44,104
- No, no, no...
- I work in a bank.
1281
01:15:46,324 --> 01:15:47,760
Gotcha!
1282
01:15:55,376 --> 01:15:58,379
What are you doing? Don't you
ever take no for an answer?
1283
01:15:58,554 --> 01:16:00,381
Can't you understand? We don't
want you here, any of us.
1284
01:16:00,556 --> 01:16:02,732
So put your clothes on
and go! Leave! Get out!
1285
01:16:02,906 --> 01:16:04,560
You've all had enough? More than enough.
1286
01:16:04,734 --> 01:16:06,039
We didn't want anything
to start with.
1287
01:16:06,213 --> 01:16:08,564
There must be something
wrong with you lot.
1288
01:16:08,738 --> 01:16:10,391
You can't be normal. Would you just please
1289
01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:11,741
get dressed and go!
1290
01:16:13,525 --> 01:16:16,006
Excuse me, is that Mr. Bromley
at last?
1291
01:16:16,180 --> 01:16:19,400
Ah, no. No, it's not. It's not.
It's my wife coming downstairs.
1292
01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,229
Another drink.
1293
01:16:22,403 --> 01:16:25,581
How long have I been asleep? Oh, ages. Absolutely ages.
1294
01:16:25,755 --> 01:16:27,278
Is anything the matter,
Mr. Needham?
1295
01:16:27,452 --> 01:16:29,062
Must have been
that sleeping capsule.
1296
01:16:29,236 --> 01:16:32,326
Very odd effect. Most disturbing.
Oh, dear.
1297
01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:35,199
I think I better have another. Would you like me to get it?
1298
01:16:35,373 --> 01:16:38,289
Yes, please. Mister, uh, I think
I'd better postpone the...
1299
01:16:38,463 --> 01:16:39,943
The inspection.
1300
01:16:40,117 --> 01:16:41,335
Postpone it?
But you're not ill, are you?
1301
01:16:41,509 --> 01:16:43,773
No, no. It's just, uh,
1302
01:16:43,947 --> 01:16:46,036
I've been away from home
for a rather long time,
1303
01:16:46,210 --> 01:16:49,387
a lot of things I want to
go through with my wife.
1304
01:16:49,561 --> 01:16:52,042
Twit!
1305
01:16:52,216 --> 01:16:54,958
Here you are, Mr. Needham.
You'll soon be asleep again.
1306
01:16:55,132 --> 01:16:56,699
I'm really looking forward to it.
1307
01:17:01,268 --> 01:17:05,316
Thank you and good night,
Mr. and Mrs...
1308
01:17:07,231 --> 01:17:10,974
Happy dreams. Yes, thank you very...
1309
01:17:11,148 --> 01:17:14,804
Did you find it interesting? Well, yes, I did.
1310
01:17:14,978 --> 01:17:17,241
Although, as a matter of fact,
I have seen a brick wall before.
1311
01:17:17,415 --> 01:17:19,199
That's it, we're packed
and we're off.
1312
01:17:19,373 --> 01:17:21,375
At least we'll get
an early night for a change.
1313
01:17:22,463 --> 01:17:23,987
Good God.
1314
01:17:24,161 --> 01:17:25,989
Oh, look, Barbara.
It's Mr. Smith.
1315
01:17:26,163 --> 01:17:27,991
Ah, Mr. Smith.
1316
01:17:28,165 --> 01:17:29,775
Fancy seeing you here, love!
1317
01:17:29,949 --> 01:17:31,777
Of course, it was you
who sent for us.
1318
01:17:31,951 --> 01:17:33,866
I beg your pardon.
1319
01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:35,868
And you used to be so regular.
1320
01:17:36,042 --> 01:17:38,218
It's not Mr. Smith,
Barbara.
1321
01:17:38,392 --> 01:17:40,133
Just someone that looks like him.
1322
01:17:40,307 --> 01:17:42,658
We're taking Access cards now,
you know.
1323
01:17:42,832 --> 01:17:44,921
Access takes
the wanting out of waiting.
1324
01:17:45,095 --> 01:17:46,879
No, it's the other way round.
1325
01:17:47,053 --> 01:17:49,099
It takes the waiting
out of wanting.
1326
01:17:49,273 --> 01:17:50,927
I always did get everything
back to front.
1327
01:17:51,101 --> 01:17:51,884
Come on.Bye-bye.
1328
01:17:59,849 --> 01:18:01,067
Who were those people?
1329
01:18:01,241 --> 01:18:03,722
Shudder to think.
1330
01:18:11,774 --> 01:18:16,387
So that's where it's been going. You berk! I told you, 313.
1331
01:18:16,561 --> 01:18:20,130
Leave off, will you? Hold up, look who's arrived.
1332
01:18:33,230 --> 01:18:34,927
Lining up a bit this morning,
aren't they?
1333
01:18:36,973 --> 01:18:39,453
I seem to recognize this one.
1334
01:18:39,627 --> 01:18:41,847
- Good morning, Leslie.
- Oh, good morning.
1335
01:18:42,021 --> 01:18:43,283
Come on, Penny.
1336
01:18:45,895 --> 01:18:47,461
Oh, thank you. Good morning.
1337
01:18:47,635 --> 01:18:49,507
Good morning, inspector. Good morning.
1338
01:18:49,681 --> 01:18:52,205
Oh, thank you so much
for looking after it for me.
1339
01:18:52,379 --> 01:18:54,033
Now, just a moment, madam.
1340
01:18:54,207 --> 01:18:56,470
I'm a friend of Inspector Paul's.
1341
01:19:02,563 --> 01:19:05,001
Sorry I'm late, Brian. I'm still
trying to park me scooter.
1342
01:19:05,175 --> 01:19:06,263
Here's a parcel for you.
1343
01:19:06,437 --> 01:19:08,700
Oh, no. Not another one.
1344
01:19:10,484 --> 01:19:14,750
Dirty postcards,
dirty films, dirty books...
1345
01:19:30,504 --> 01:19:32,245
Must get away!
Must get away!
1346
01:19:34,508 --> 01:19:35,814
Excuse me.
1347
01:19:37,033 --> 01:19:39,078
Use my car.
1348
01:19:39,252 --> 01:19:41,211
Where are we going? Get after that scooter!
1349
01:19:41,385 --> 01:19:43,909
What's that, mate? He's got our parcel with him.
1350
01:20:03,711 --> 01:20:05,931
Brian has gone completely
off his head!
1351
01:20:06,105 --> 01:20:07,367
HQ to mobiles
1352
01:20:07,541 --> 01:20:09,239
Foxtrot 1 and Foxtrot 2. Over.
1353
01:20:13,460 --> 01:20:16,376
Report your position. I'm so sorry, HQ.
1354
01:20:16,550 --> 01:20:19,640
The whole thing seems to be
a dreadful mistake.
1355
01:20:30,042 --> 01:20:31,957
For heaven's sake,
Mother, get rid of it!
1356
01:20:32,131 --> 01:20:32,871
...pickup at Grange Avenue.
1357
01:20:38,485 --> 01:20:42,315
There you are, Pegasus.
There's a lovely feed.
1358
01:20:44,448 --> 01:20:48,626
You're going to enjoy that.
There you are. There.
1359
01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:52,108
Zephyr 4 to HQ. I am proceeding towards Ascot.
1360
01:20:52,282 --> 01:20:54,501
Repeat, towards Ascot.
1361
01:21:15,609 --> 01:21:16,959
- Oi! What's your game?
- Get out of it!
1362
01:21:17,133 --> 01:21:18,874
What about my car?
1363
01:21:19,048 --> 01:21:21,006
Get your car out of the road or
I'll nick you for obstruction.
1364
01:21:21,180 --> 01:21:22,181
You'll nick me?
1365
01:21:39,459 --> 01:21:43,289
I've only just had that done!
What? You again?
1366
01:21:43,463 --> 01:21:44,987
I'm after that chap on the scooter.
1367
01:21:45,161 --> 01:21:46,466
He's got a parcel of pornography.
1368
01:21:46,640 --> 01:21:49,252
What are you, mate? Some sort
of sex maniac or something?
1369
01:21:49,426 --> 01:21:51,080
This your virility symbol, is it?
1370
01:21:51,254 --> 01:21:52,908
Get that car out of the way,
or I'll nick you.
1371
01:21:53,082 --> 01:21:53,996
Go on, move! Yes, go on.
1372
01:22:57,798 --> 01:22:59,278
Tou... Oh, never mind.
1373
01:23:37,447 --> 01:23:38,665
Hey, look out, you're going
the wrong way.
1374
01:23:38,839 --> 01:23:40,058
Oh, rubbish!
1375
01:23:51,417 --> 01:23:53,854
You'll have to get out of here.
I'm a vegetarian, you know.
1376
01:25:51,320 --> 01:25:53,931
Hey, you!
Hey, come here, you!
1377
01:25:58,109 --> 01:26:00,024
You leave him alone, or I'll
put one on the lot of you!
1378
01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:04,071
All right. All right.
1379
01:26:04,246 --> 01:26:08,032
Here's the evidence.
Do what you like. I resign.
1380
01:26:11,862 --> 01:26:13,211
I'll take that, officer.
I think it belongs to me.
1381
01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:20,436
Just a minute!
1382
01:26:20,610 --> 01:26:23,134
Let's open the parcel and find
out who it does belong to.
1383
01:26:25,397 --> 01:26:29,140
I shall make for the ports.
Apply to become a stowaway.
1384
01:26:29,314 --> 01:26:32,578
Goodbye, Brian. I don't suppose
I shall ever see you again.
1385
01:26:32,752 --> 01:26:34,014
Goodbye, Miss Martin.
1386
01:26:47,027 --> 01:26:50,205
It's Brian's digital calculator.
1387
01:26:52,729 --> 01:26:54,339
I shall go to Australia.
1388
01:26:54,513 --> 01:26:56,211
A man can walk tall in Australia.
1389
01:26:56,385 --> 01:26:57,864
Yes, that's it. Australia.
1390
01:26:58,038 --> 01:26:59,649
I can always lie about my height.
106956
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