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1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:03,870
(man on TV)
'And "Love Fortress
International" had no response'
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,500
'to this morning's
"Daily Planet" story.'
3
00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:07,460
'The newspaper reported that
"Love Fortress" magazine'
4
00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:09,710
and nightclub operation
is little more than a cover-up
5
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,550
for crime including gambling,
prostitution..
6
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:14,340
Well, you sure scooped
that pretty boy.
7
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:15,430
Perry.
8
00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:17,600
I just dropped by
to congratulate you.
9
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,060
This is a heck of a story.
10
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,270
Yes. That is a heck
of a story, Lois.
11
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:24,230
Clark, weren't you assigned
to this piece, too?
12
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:26,020
I was kind of under
the impression
13
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:28,610
that you two
were permanent partners.
14
00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:31,280
Well, we're not
permanent permanent
15
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,240
partners yet, chief.
16
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,110
No. That would be
a...big step, chief.
17
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,950
The kind of thing that
a person would have to..
18
00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,160
...think through.
19
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,410
Uh-huh, well..
20
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,960
...thank you for that
cryptic exchange.
21
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,130
Now all you interpreters
22
00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:48,960
let's get back to work.
23
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,460
We're all proud
of you, Lois.
24
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:53,970
Lois, I can't believe
the number you did on my man.
25
00:00:54,050 --> 00:00:56,720
- Your man?
- Spencer Spencer.
26
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,470
The owner of
"Love Fortress International."
27
00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:01,770
- Have you read his work?
- "His work"?
28
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:05,140
This is nothing but a..
Whoa...skin book.
29
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,310
Chief, he takes on
serious topics.
30
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,770
[laughing]
31
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,150
Look, I've read him so much,
I feel like I know him.
32
00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:13,530
Nobody knows him, Jimmy.
He hides out from everyone.
33
00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:17,070
If I had the looks, the women,
the cars, and life he has
34
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,410
I'd hide out, okay?
35
00:01:18,490 --> 00:01:20,870
[telephone ringing]
36
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,910
- Yes.
- 'Hold for Spencer Spencer.'
37
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:26,750
- It's Spencer Spencer.
- Oh, my God. The man!
38
00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:29,080
- Hello.
- 'Miss Lane..'
39
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:32,460
'Lois, Spencer Spencer here.'
40
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,210
'Quite a colorful article'
41
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,880
'you did
on my little operation.'
42
00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:39,840
'I'd like to make
you a proposal.'
43
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:43,350
'What say you meet with
one of my spokesmodels'
44
00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,390
'and let us give you
an accurate'
45
00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:48,020
'picture of...my world?'
46
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:51,730
Believe me, I can make it
worth your while.
47
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,030
Mr. Spencer, I have an accurate
picture of your world
48
00:01:55,110 --> 00:01:57,450
and a truly disgusting place
it is.
49
00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,570
Read part two tomorrow.
50
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,320
- Lois!
- Mr. Charm.
51
00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:03,990
He's probably sitting there
in his legendary silk pajamas
52
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,870
drinking Absinthe,
girls massaging him.
53
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,920
I...disgust...her?
54
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,040
[dramatic music]
55
00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:17,050
I...disgust...her?
56
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:19,300
I disgust her!
57
00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,930
You're finished, Ms. Lane!
58
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,550
When I'm through with you..
59
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,180
...we'll see who disgusts whom!
60
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:34,270
[theme music]
61
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,130
[music continues]
62
00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,290
[instrumental music]
63
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,220
I know you think
I'm not thinking about it
64
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,640
but just because I'm not
talking about it
65
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,180
doesn't mean I'm not
thinking about it.
66
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,980
Louis, marriage
is a very big step.
67
00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,140
I said I would wait,
and I will wait.
68
00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:54,980
I'm glad you understand.
69
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,730
Of course, if I was
the paranoid type
70
00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:58,860
I might think that you were
trying to avoid the whole thing.
71
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:00,990
[chuckles]
Of course not.
72
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:03,200
Avoid it..
No, I'm not trying to avoid it.
73
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:04,570
Do you ever notice how lousy
74
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,990
the cheese sandwiches are
in this machine?
75
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,280
- What?
- Oh! I'm just saying.
76
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:08,660
You can't get
a good cheese sandwich.
77
00:04:08,740 --> 00:04:10,870
I mean, I would kill
for a piece of camembert
78
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,000
the really good kind
from France.
79
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,250
You notice
it's tough to get
80
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:15,500
good camembert outside
of France.
81
00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:16,830
Lois, you know,
I'm so glad
82
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,170
you're not avoiding
this whole thing.
83
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,710
I'm very, very
happy about that.
84
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,090
Oh! Lois. You busy?
85
00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:24,720
Um, no. No, no. Heh, heh.
86
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,470
Just talking to Clark here.
87
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:30,010
Clark?
88
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,180
[instrumental music]
89
00:04:32,270 --> 00:04:34,060
[people shouting in French]
90
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,690
Perry, I am fine.
Don't worry about me.
91
00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:39,570
I'm not working too hard.
Can I go back to work?
92
00:04:39,650 --> 00:04:41,360
Now Lois, I read you
like a book.
93
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,990
Things get a little rough
in your life
94
00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:45,820
you wrap yourself up
in your work..
95
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,320
...like it was going
to save you.
96
00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:49,120
Look, chief,
I've gotta draw the line here.
97
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,410
I have a professional life
98
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,370
and I have a personal life..
99
00:04:52,450 --> 00:04:55,080
...and Clark asked me
to marry him!
100
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,710
Lois, don't you think
you ought to try dating first?
101
00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,170
But see, I really love him.
102
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,380
Well, then there's
no problem--
103
00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,050
Well, yes, yes
there is, Perry!
104
00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:04,050
Ha-have you ever thought
that you found someone
105
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:05,760
who is exactly
right for you
106
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,550
but then you found out
some...thing
107
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,050
that you never knew
about them
108
00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:11,680
that you thought
could just wreck it all?
109
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,430
Yes, you know after
Alice and I got married
110
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,730
I found out her right leg
111
00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:17,600
was an inch shorter
than her left.
112
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:18,940
Chief--
113
00:05:19,020 --> 00:05:20,110
She used to wear
these little shoes
114
00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:21,570
with wooden wedges in them.
115
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:23,070
Made in Portugal.
116
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,900
Then on our wedding night
we're standing there
117
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,610
in front of each other, uh
118
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,740
in the, uh...altogether
119
00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:31,580
and she's listing off to the
starboard, her secret was out.
120
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:34,200
But see it, it didn't
make any difference to me
121
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,910
because I loved her.
122
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:41,250
- That's so beautiful.
- Oh, well, listen, now..
123
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,050
You and Clark have got to deal
with whatever it is
124
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:47,340
and I don't mean
over a sandwich at your desk.
125
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,630
Where do you mean?
126
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,260
Well, get out of town
127
00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,760
so you can focus on
what really counts.
128
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:55,430
Oh, well, Perry, I think
I'm disciplined enough
129
00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,440
to not be distracted by work.
130
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,940
- Ah, it's for you.
- Oh.
131
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,440
Hello. Yes?
132
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,900
What? Are you sure?
133
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,440
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
134
00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:08,860
My police source says
they just found four bodies
135
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,450
all male, in a shallow grave.
136
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:12,370
The first two ID'd last seen
137
00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:14,910
at one Spencer Spencer
Love Fortress.
138
00:06:14,990 --> 00:06:17,290
Oh, heh, heh, and get this..
139
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:19,000
They were all headless.
140
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,130
Good Lord. Hey, Lois!
141
00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:22,880
A word to the wise..
142
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,630
Honey, there will always be
another headless corpse
143
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,130
but true love..
144
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,260
...comes around maybe once.
145
00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:35,600
Hey. There you are. Guess you
haven't seen your desk yet, huh?
146
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,980
Not now, Jimmy. I just got
a major tip I have to..
147
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,310
What about my desk?
148
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,940
[chuckles]
Camembert.
149
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,940
Let me guess....France.
150
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:51,070
Oui. But of course.
151
00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:55,830
Clark, that's...so sweet.
152
00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:59,040
But?
153
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:00,620
We have to talk.
154
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,920
[sighs]
I-I also think
it's a really good idea
155
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,090
what Perry said
about getting away.
156
00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:07,800
How did you know?
157
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,010
Uh...s-super-hearing.
158
00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:12,430
Right.
159
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,890
And we will talk,
uh, right after I get back.
160
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,770
Sorry I just, uh,
I have to get this statement.
161
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:22,190
But we'll do this.
We will, I swear.
162
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:25,900
[sighs]
163
00:07:26,940 --> 00:07:29,900
[dramatic music]
164
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:41,580
What? Oh, great.
My car's blocked in.
165
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:44,290
Oh, aah..
166
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,880
No. No!
167
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,300
[cellphone ringing]
168
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,550
[music continues]
169
00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:55,180
Yes. Hello.
170
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:57,310
(man on phone)
'Miss Lane, you have
an overseas call.'
171
00:07:57,390 --> 00:07:59,390
- 'Please hold.'
- No. No, I can't..
172
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:01,520
Oh! Yes, I'll hold.
173
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:06,230
'Hello? Hello?'
174
00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:08,320
Hello? Hello?
175
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,240
'Hello? Hello?'
176
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:15,280
[dramatic music]
177
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,240
Please hold.
I'm transferring.
178
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,290
Yes, I-I'm holding.
179
00:08:23,830 --> 00:08:26,670
Oh, hey, could you call
somebody in maintenance?
180
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,170
They got me blocked in there.
181
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,090
- 'Sure, Ms. Lane.'
- 'Thank you.'
182
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:31,590
[music continues]
183
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,840
Hello?
184
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,340
[creaking]
185
00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:36,930
[gasps]
186
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,220
Aah..
187
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,520
(woman on phone)
'Please hang up
and try again.'
188
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:45,140
[instrumental music]
189
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,690
- Are you alright?
- Yes.
190
00:08:48,770 --> 00:08:51,320
Thank you.
191
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,490
I know it doesn't seem
like enough to say.
192
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:56,360
It's just,
it's all I can.
193
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:00,950
Well...look at you.
194
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,960
You've gotten me
out of a lot of jams
195
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,750
but I've never
seen you like this.
196
00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:09,000
Things are different now.
197
00:09:10,380 --> 00:09:14,010
What do you mean...she's alive?
198
00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,760
Idiot! High school dropout!
199
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,010
I'll deal with you
when I see you.
200
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,180
Slam the phone down
definitively.
201
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,270
Take it easy, Mr. Spencer.
202
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:29,230
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
203
00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:32,820
What do any of you
know about pain?
204
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:36,650
I make Quasimodo look like
a Rockette for cryin' out loud!
205
00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:39,780
Hola! It's happy hour,
is it not?
206
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:43,950
'Oh, yeah. We're all
happy as hell in here.'
207
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,080
The Lane woman's still alive
and bodies with no heads
208
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,540
are popping up
all over Metropolis!
209
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:51,340
I merely do the experiments.
210
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:53,670
I don't dispose
of the refuse.
211
00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:56,130
Do I look like
a gravedigger?
212
00:09:56,220 --> 00:10:00,050
No. You look like
an alcoholic quack.
213
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,390
Hm, very well.
214
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:05,020
Then perhaps I will not share
my breakthrough with you.
215
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,680
Breakthrough?
216
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:08,940
[whirring]
217
00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,100
Dr. Pescado..
218
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,690
...tell me.
219
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,690
I don't think so.
220
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,780
I hope I wasn't
out of line with that
221
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,530
"quack" thing.
What can I say?
222
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,910
I'm a tortured
human being.
223
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:28,040
Yes, yes.
224
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,670
Heidi!
225
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,130
Jawohl.
226
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,540
Heidi, the data.
227
00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:34,750
Jawohl, Herr doctor.
228
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:38,220
After all these
long months
229
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,800
my brilliance..
230
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,800
...and your millions
231
00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:44,390
have finally won out.
232
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:46,140
Do you mean to tell me
233
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:48,810
you have performed
the transplant..
234
00:10:48,890 --> 00:10:50,230
...successfully?
235
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:53,190
Behold...patient X!
236
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,530
Hm.
237
00:10:56,610 --> 00:11:00,650
Here we have a man with
a face like Abe Vigoda
238
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:01,910
and a body..
239
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:04,830
...and a body like
Sylvester Stallone
240
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:08,250
in the first "Rocky"
before things got crazy.
241
00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:13,250
Pescado, this surgery
will work...for me?
242
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:16,710
You have merely to select
the body you wish.
243
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,510
I already have.
244
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,760
Allow me to introduce
245
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,760
'the new, improved..'
246
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,180
'...Spencer Spencer.'
247
00:11:25,260 --> 00:11:27,220
[intense music]
248
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:29,020
I always say..
249
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,850
...shoot for the moon.
250
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,900
[tapping on window]
251
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:40,740
- Who is it?
- Who is it?
252
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:43,110
Lois, who else knocks on
your third storey window?
253
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:48,240
I, uh, I guess I didn't
seem very appreciative
254
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:51,370
about all that cheese.
255
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,870
It's just having
a boyfriend
256
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,460
who can turn your every
whim into reality
257
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:58,550
takes some getting used to.
258
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,460
I mean, my gosh,
if I, uh, wanted
259
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:03,090
the perfect pearl
from Japan
260
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,300
I wouldn't expect it
to just appear
261
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,390
'anymore than if I had
some sudden craving'
262
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:08,760
for Swiss chocolate.
263
00:12:08,850 --> 00:12:10,270
I wouldn't expect you
to go zipping off
264
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,270
to Switzerland
265
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:15,100
no more than if I wanted
snow from the Andes.
266
00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:17,310
I mean they're just
idle fantasies.
267
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,940
'And they're not something
that's important to two..'
268
00:12:23,070 --> 00:12:24,740
[chuckles]
269
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,160
- You got to stop doing that.
- Why?
270
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,290
Making you happy
makes me happy.
271
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,870
Did I ever tell you
why I gave up
272
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,420
my crush on Superman?
273
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,710
Because he is a fantasy.
274
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,340
And did I tell you
why I fell in love with Clark?
275
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:43,380
[instrumental music]
276
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:45,130
Because he's real.
277
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,260
And that's what I want.
278
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:51,520
- You do?
- Yeah.
279
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,890
He's got problems
and insecurities and..
280
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,060
...hat hair.
281
00:12:58,150 --> 00:13:00,190
I do not have hat hair.
282
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:02,110
If I told Clark
that I like
283
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:04,570
the scent of tulips
from Holland
284
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,450
that is not your cue to go
taxing down the runway.
285
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:10,490
It just means that Clark
and I would save up
286
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:13,250
and someday take
a vacation
287
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:15,120
like a normal couple.
288
00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:17,750
But I am Clark.
289
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,790
But you're also that guy
who saves the world
290
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:24,300
from killer bees and props up
the Golden Gate Bridge.
291
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:27,380
Couldn't you just think of me
as a very...busy
292
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:31,060
very fast,
very strong...doctor?
293
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,850
- I need some stability.
- 'Superman, help!
294
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:34,310
- 'Please!'
- Ah, Lois--
295
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:36,350
I need a sense that
I'm not always sharing you
296
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,560
with the five billion other
people on the planet.
297
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:39,900
If you could just
hold that thought--
298
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:41,860
I need to know that
you will be there
299
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:44,570
for me when I need you.
300
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,110
I got to go.
301
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,200
[instrumental music]
302
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,910
[whooshing]
303
00:13:56,290 --> 00:13:58,790
[disco music]
304
00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:20,270
Klavel!
305
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:22,900
Towel me. Towel me.
306
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,610
Easy!
307
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:26,440
Think you're scrubbing
a bowling ball?
308
00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,070
First day I get new arms
309
00:14:28,150 --> 00:14:29,740
I'm going to wring
your neck.
310
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,910
'There is one little wrinkle,
Senor Spencer.'
311
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:34,740
[whirring]
312
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,630
As Heidi and I
were making
313
00:14:41,710 --> 00:14:43,500
the final preparations
for the surgery
314
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,050
'she raised a rather
an important issue.'
315
00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:47,550
My understanding is
316
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:51,550
that this Superman
is invulnerable.
317
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,350
How am I to perform
the excision of his head?
318
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:56,220
My scalpels will
not even nick
319
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,770
el hombre de acero.
320
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:02,560
- What?
- His schalpels will not even--
321
00:15:02,650 --> 00:15:05,480
Heidi...I speak English.
322
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,610
Ze Man Of Schteel.
323
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:10,150
You crepe-hanging crybabies!
324
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,570
You think you're dealing
with kids here?
325
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,830
The guy will cut like butter.
326
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:16,370
Ever hear of Kryptonite?
327
00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:21,000
Well, I know that only
a few specimens exist.
328
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,880
- How can you get it?
- I'm getting a body transplant!
329
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,210
You think I cannot pull off
a piece of Kryptonite?
330
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,630
I suppose Superman will just
331
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,510
cha, cha, cha into
our waiting clutches.
332
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,220
[thuds]
333
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,180
No, Ms. Reichstag.
334
00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:40,100
His two best friends,
Lois Lane and Clark Kent
335
00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,770
will lure him here.
336
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:44,360
My man in Metropolis
says their boss
337
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,860
is pushing them to go off
to some remote little spot
338
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,740
he says this Clark guy
is all for it.
339
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:51,400
Well, gee whiz
340
00:15:51,490 --> 00:15:54,370
I live in a remote
little spot
341
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:56,200
and when they think
they're stranded here
342
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,290
their buddy will show up
and I got him!
343
00:15:59,370 --> 00:16:01,910
Am I smart or what?
344
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,880
This promotional basket
just came for you.
345
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,670
Judas Priest! These things
get worse every year.
346
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,880
You know they're fleeing Cuba
in things smaller than that.
347
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:14,590
They want you to send
a travel editor out
348
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,010
to review this new
private island resort.
349
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,890
They say it's the perfect spot
to fall in love.
350
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:22,730
Jimmy, should I even bother
reading my mail anymore
351
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:25,980
'or should I just ask you
for a summary? Give me that.'
352
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,570
Um, I was kind of
thinking that
353
00:16:28,650 --> 00:16:30,280
the travel editor's
been awful busy
354
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,570
and maybe you might wanna
send somebody a little..
355
00:16:33,650 --> 00:16:36,820
...younger, uh, a little more
in need of a vacation.
356
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:39,490
You know, I think you may be
onto something, son.
357
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,040
Tell Lois to come
in here, will you?
358
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,130
[instrumental music]
359
00:16:57,340 --> 00:17:00,060
[music continues]
360
00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:03,890
[knock on door]
361
00:17:14,610 --> 00:17:16,410
- Hi
- Hi. See that?
362
00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:18,320
Used the door
just like a regular guy.
363
00:17:18,410 --> 00:17:19,700
Very impressive.
364
00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:20,830
Yes siree.
365
00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:22,160
Came down the old street
366
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,580
and walked up the old stairs
367
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:26,870
just walking up
the stairs.
368
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:32,000
Here, let me help.
369
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:38,760
Just like a regular guy.
370
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,260
Sort of..
371
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:45,140
So what was that thing that
we just...crushed, anyway?
372
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,940
Promotion for some
stupid tropical resort.
373
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:50,610
Ah, so Perry
got to you, too.
374
00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:52,480
He's practically
forcing us to go.
375
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,150
I told him I'm too busy.
376
00:17:54,230 --> 00:17:56,490
Yeah, well, work would be
a lot safer than
377
00:17:56,570 --> 00:17:59,160
spending an uninterrupted
weekend with me.
378
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,120
Hold it.
Hold it.
379
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,160
I'm not the one leaping
off tall buildings
380
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,580
at every distant SOS.
381
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:06,620
Wait, wait, ah,
what are you saying?
382
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,830
I'm saying I don't think
you could let the world
383
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,670
get by on it's own
for two whole days.
384
00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:12,750
Oh, and you'd rather write
about other people's lives
385
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,550
'cause it's less dangerous than
living one of your own.
386
00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:17,510
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
387
00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:24,350
Someone...want you?
388
00:18:24,430 --> 00:18:25,680
No..
389
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,690
- Yes..
- Go.
390
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:36,070
[whooshing]
391
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,370
You know...I could do it
if you could.
392
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,450
Wanna bet?
393
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,540
Heh, heh...bet.
394
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,960
[instrumental music]
395
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:18,610
[music continues]
396
00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,410
(Clark)
Here we are!
397
00:19:27,870 --> 00:19:29,370
Let me help you with
those bags here, captain.
398
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:32,960
Oh! Excuse me, do you know
where we check in?
399
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:38,260
Well, the, uh, brochure
said something
400
00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:40,590
about a, a welcoming hukilau.
401
00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:45,260
Uh, I-I guess we just wait
for the Hotel Jitney.
402
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,520
I think I understand
what's going on here, captain.
403
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,680
You think we
shouldn't be fooled
404
00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:53,600
by the casual elegance
of this place.
405
00:19:53,690 --> 00:19:55,270
I understand that.
406
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,860
You know, us big city tourists
might think
407
00:19:56,940 --> 00:20:00,530
it's a little bit...rustic
or even primitive.
408
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,780
[chuckles]
409
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,410
Thank you very much!
410
00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:10,450
[instrumental music]
411
00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:17,460
[Clark chuckling]
Ah-ha! I knew you couldn't
keep our bargain.
412
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:20,010
Two hours and already
you're working.
413
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:21,920
I'm writing my will.
414
00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:23,840
This way, when they
find our bleached bones
415
00:20:23,930 --> 00:20:25,720
someone will know
my last wishes.
416
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,300
Well, if these are
my last minutes
417
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:29,560
who better to spend
them with?
418
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,270
Alone in paradise
with the woman I love.
419
00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:35,060
It's almost Biblical.
420
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,320
While you were out...
looking around
421
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,190
you didn't happen
to find any proof
422
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,110
that there actually
is a hotel, did you?
423
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:44,780
No, but why wouldn't
there be a hotel?
424
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:48,330
Well, maybe...no one
built one
425
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:51,660
or maybe we're on
the wrong island, or..
426
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,830
...maybe this is
a penal colony
427
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,460
or-or maybe no living being
has ever been here
428
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:58,670
in the history
of the Earth!
429
00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,840
Why don't you just go
430
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,590
and take a quick buzz
and look?
431
00:21:01,670 --> 00:21:03,220
Now, how would I do that?
432
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,720
I don't buzz anywhere.
433
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,840
Yes, but Superman does.
434
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:09,430
Yes, but..
435
00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:12,180
Superman is not here.
436
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:13,680
That's cute.
437
00:21:13,770 --> 00:21:15,190
[chuckles]
438
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:17,900
Boy, that's really,
really, uh..
439
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:21,110
...cute.
440
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,360
Well, okay.
441
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,700
Hmm.
442
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,660
Thank you.
443
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:34,960
I knew you'd come through.
444
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,580
A joke's a joke,
huh, but..
445
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,460
Where's the suit?
446
00:21:39,540 --> 00:21:41,630
What suit? There is no suit.
I left it at home.
447
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:42,710
It's just you and me
448
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,380
Joe and Judy Regular.
449
00:21:44,460 --> 00:21:46,720
- Uh!
- Wanna neck?
450
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,550
[dramatic music]
451
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:54,020
[Spencer laughing]
452
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:55,600
(Spencer)
'Can you believe these two?'
453
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,730
'Looking forward to some
fun in the sun?'
454
00:21:58,810 --> 00:22:00,980
[laughing]
455
00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:03,070
Pretty quick it'll hit 'em,
they're in trouble.
456
00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:05,070
That's when they'll call
in the big boy.
457
00:22:06,650 --> 00:22:08,910
[whirring]
458
00:22:08,990 --> 00:22:12,580
Oh, well, I've never been
a patient man.
459
00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:14,080
Do it!
460
00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:18,500
[whirring]
461
00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:20,580
[growling]
462
00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:28,880
[roaring]
463
00:22:36,390 --> 00:22:38,770
[dramatic music]
464
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:43,440
[growling]
465
00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:48,700
[music continues]
466
00:22:48,780 --> 00:22:50,280
[sighs]
467
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:51,910
- Hi.
- Hi.
468
00:22:53,370 --> 00:22:56,870
Oh, God! It wasn't a dream.
We are here.
469
00:22:56,950 --> 00:22:58,460
[laughs]
470
00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:02,670
- What are you doing?
- I am building our hut.
471
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:04,500
Our hut?
472
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:07,380
Well, I figure
the hotel people
473
00:23:07,460 --> 00:23:09,970
will be here before nightfall or
the boat people will come back
474
00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:12,180
and realize that they have
put us in the wrong place.
475
00:23:12,260 --> 00:23:13,930
Either way,
we'll need shelter.
476
00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:17,060
No, no, what we need
is a sauna and a massage
477
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:18,520
and some room service.
478
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,770
So why don't you scoop me up
into your arms and fly us off?
479
00:23:21,850 --> 00:23:23,060
Maybe we're near Rio.
480
00:23:23,150 --> 00:23:25,150
No scooping,
no flying.
481
00:23:25,230 --> 00:23:27,150
You have been scooping
and flying
482
00:23:27,230 --> 00:23:29,860
on a fairly regular basis
ever since I've known you.
483
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:33,070
And now, now that we're
surrounded by crazed insects
484
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,870
and murderous plants
485
00:23:34,950 --> 00:23:36,620
now you think
would be a bad time!
486
00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:38,540
Lois, you challenged me
to let the world
487
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:40,410
get along without me
for a weekend.
488
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,790
Me and the world we seem
to be doing just fine.
489
00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:44,790
You, on the other hand,
are a wreck.
490
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,250
Oh! Really?
You think I'm a wreck?
491
00:23:47,340 --> 00:23:49,710
Well, I'll show you
what a wreck I am.
492
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,050
Let me get these
pantyhose off!
493
00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:54,720
Hand me one of
those palm leaves.
494
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:55,890
Here you go.
495
00:23:57,260 --> 00:23:58,720
[laughs]
496
00:23:58,810 --> 00:24:01,520
I just wish you didn't look like
your having such a good time.
497
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,400
Oh! I've hadn't had
a vacation in years.
498
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,270
'Ow! Oh!'
499
00:24:07,690 --> 00:24:10,940
Trust me! There could
be better ones.
500
00:24:11,030 --> 00:24:12,530
Okay, what do you
do with this?
501
00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:15,990
Too boring.
502
00:24:17,620 --> 00:24:19,370
Bigger print.
503
00:24:23,330 --> 00:24:25,540
The tiger ran away?
504
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:29,880
You said this was the most
vicious animal alive.
505
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,760
And it is.
506
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:36,050
Assuming that, uh,
it keeps going, you know..
507
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:38,220
...forward.
508
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:40,220
Contaminate the drinking water!
509
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,890
[sighs]
510
00:24:43,980 --> 00:24:45,230
It's not so bad.
511
00:24:45,310 --> 00:24:49,020
No. No, I think it
looks pretty sturdy.
512
00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:53,030
Gee, our first house.
513
00:24:55,820 --> 00:24:58,030
Hey, I thought
you said no scooping.
514
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:00,540
This is not scooping.
This is carrying.
515
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:02,620
I'm carrying you
over the threshold.
516
00:25:05,290 --> 00:25:07,630
♪ Da da dum ♪♪
517
00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:09,130
Our new home.
518
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,880
No, no, Alice, it's okay
I'll go to the video store.
519
00:25:15,970 --> 00:25:17,260
Uh, what's your
second choice
520
00:25:17,340 --> 00:25:19,140
if they're out of
"Tora, Tora, Tora"?
521
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,680
Oh, some breaking news,
dumpling. I got to go.
522
00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:27,900
Chief, sometimes it seems
like you're afraid of Alice.
523
00:25:27,980 --> 00:25:30,940
I am, Jimmy. I am.
524
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:33,940
- Any word from Lois and Clark?
- No. And there won't be.
525
00:25:34,030 --> 00:25:36,450
CK says the island doesn't
even have any phones.
526
00:25:36,530 --> 00:25:38,950
Ah, no phones.
527
00:25:39,030 --> 00:25:42,370
Jimmy, learn the value
of life's treasures
528
00:25:42,450 --> 00:25:45,460
a beautiful woman,
a bottle of rum..
529
00:25:45,540 --> 00:25:48,830
[Perry laughing]
Oh, boy, I envy Clark.
530
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,840
Those two, they must be
in seventh heaven right now.
531
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,380
Aah!
532
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,130
[chuckles]
What happened?
533
00:25:57,220 --> 00:25:59,390
I thought a swim
might be nice.
534
00:26:06,850 --> 00:26:10,810
Uh, Lois! Uh, that water
doesn't look so good.
535
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:13,480
But look, th-there's a natural
spring right over here.
536
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:18,860
Where have you
been anyway?
537
00:26:18,950 --> 00:26:21,490
Ah, I was searching for food.
538
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:27,540
And, boy, are we lucky.
Look at all these bananas.
539
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:29,080
Here, this water
is a lot better.
540
00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:33,340
Great. By the way,
I hate bananas.
541
00:26:33,420 --> 00:26:36,260
Well, there's always
roots and snails.
542
00:26:36,340 --> 00:26:37,800
I can't believe
I was complaining
543
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,680
about camembert
from France.
544
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,640
It's like those words came
from a different woman
545
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,930
a clean woman, a dope.
546
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:46,350
'Well, if there's
any fish in here'
547
00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:48,690
I bet I can figure out
a way to catch one.
548
00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:51,310
My pop used to take me fishing
all the time when I was a kid.
549
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,650
I got pretty good.
550
00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:54,650
I've never been fishing.
551
00:26:57,940 --> 00:27:00,530
He's just an ordinary guy,
my father
552
00:27:00,610 --> 00:27:03,530
who loves to do
this ordinary thing..
553
00:27:03,620 --> 00:27:07,330
...fishing. I-I guess I love it
because he loved it.
554
00:27:07,410 --> 00:27:09,660
Your parents are
really wonderful.
555
00:27:13,290 --> 00:27:15,880
Maybe I want to get married
and have kids
556
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,760
because they made it
look like so much fun.
557
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,840
- Oh, God.
- What?
558
00:27:20,930 --> 00:27:23,640
I'm just never gonna be as good
of a mother as yours was.
559
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,140
'What do I know about it?'
560
00:27:25,220 --> 00:27:26,810
Your parents made
marriage look fun.
561
00:27:26,890 --> 00:27:28,390
Mine made it look
like a root canal.
562
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,560
- Lois..
- 'Mother was always depressed.'
563
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,310
My sister wouldn't
come out of her room.
564
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,900
My father only
related to cyborgs.
565
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,440
I didn't want a family.
566
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,570
I ran away as far
as I could.
567
00:27:38,650 --> 00:27:42,160
Okay, so your parents
made some mistakes.
568
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,030
That doesn't mean
that you're gonna.
569
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:45,740
How do you know?
570
00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,580
Because I hear that the guy
that wants to marry you
571
00:27:48,660 --> 00:27:51,410
is really, really terrific.
572
00:27:52,830 --> 00:27:55,790
[instrumental music]
573
00:28:00,590 --> 00:28:02,050
[dramatic music]
574
00:28:03,890 --> 00:28:05,850
[whimpering]
575
00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:12,440
One last trial run
before the big event?
576
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,650
Jawohl,
Herr Spencer Spencer.
577
00:28:14,730 --> 00:28:17,440
No...no!
578
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,280
Get him out of here.
579
00:28:19,360 --> 00:28:21,860
[music continues]
580
00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:23,660
(male #1)
'No!'
581
00:28:27,030 --> 00:28:28,700
Well, they're not sick
582
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:30,870
and there's no sign
of Superman anywhere.
583
00:28:30,950 --> 00:28:33,040
I'm not a patient man.
584
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,500
I'm telling you
585
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:37,790
they look like
they don't want to be rescued.
586
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,550
Grab 'em!
587
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,590
(male #1)
'No!'
588
00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:47,430
[dramatic music]
589
00:28:52,890 --> 00:28:54,270
Ooh!
590
00:28:54,350 --> 00:28:56,230
Oh, Superman..
591
00:28:57,730 --> 00:28:59,690
...what a way to go.
592
00:29:02,780 --> 00:29:04,990
[crickets chirping]
593
00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:13,660
[laughs]
I guess you never
learned how to do that.
594
00:29:13,750 --> 00:29:15,960
[chuckles]
Think about it, Lois.
595
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,210
Why would I ever have
to learn how to do this?
596
00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:22,630
Well, it just so happens that
I'm a former girl scout.
597
00:29:22,710 --> 00:29:25,970
Good, 'cause I'm a strange
visitor from another planet.
598
00:29:26,050 --> 00:29:27,840
[chuckles]
599
00:29:27,930 --> 00:29:29,890
So I guess by now
600
00:29:29,970 --> 00:29:32,850
you concede that we are
on the wrong island?
601
00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:34,350
[chuckles]
Well, yeah.
602
00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:37,020
Why, do you want to leave?
603
00:29:38,270 --> 00:29:41,320
Um...no.
604
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,400
I suppose I could stick it out
for...one night.
605
00:29:44,490 --> 00:29:45,820
Good.
606
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,660
Go get some dried leaves.
607
00:29:52,910 --> 00:29:54,370
Clark, hurry up.
608
00:29:54,450 --> 00:29:56,460
- It's starting to smoke.
- Okay.
609
00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:59,130
Okay, put the leaves on.
610
00:29:59,210 --> 00:30:00,420
Now, blow.
611
00:30:01,540 --> 00:30:02,710
Oh!
612
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,970
Um, well, that was good.
613
00:30:06,050 --> 00:30:08,300
Next time you blow..
614
00:30:08,380 --> 00:30:10,640
...just remember that
it's a campfire
615
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,560
'not a nuclear reactor.'
616
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:13,770
Sorry.
617
00:30:13,850 --> 00:30:16,560
That's okay.
Let's try again.
618
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:17,890
[both laughing]
619
00:30:17,980 --> 00:30:20,900
Here we go.
Okay, now blow.
620
00:30:23,150 --> 00:30:24,400
Blow.
621
00:30:25,820 --> 00:30:28,030
Faster!
622
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,330
[laughing]
623
00:30:32,410 --> 00:30:33,620
What's so funny?
624
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:35,290
Well, this is exactly
what I thought
625
00:30:35,370 --> 00:30:37,160
camping with Clark
would be like.
626
00:30:37,250 --> 00:30:39,750
Well, Lois,
you are camping with Clark.
627
00:30:39,830 --> 00:30:41,830
Oh!
628
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,630
- We did it.
- Alright.
629
00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:45,090
[sighs]
630
00:30:46,630 --> 00:30:49,720
Now, if we only had some
hot dogs on a stick.
631
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,590
Ah, the next best thing.
632
00:30:53,350 --> 00:30:54,430
'Oh, boy.'
633
00:30:54,510 --> 00:30:57,640
There you go,
banana on a stick.
634
00:30:57,730 --> 00:31:00,140
Is this how you do this?
635
00:31:00,230 --> 00:31:02,650
- I guess.
- I wonder what it tastes like?
636
00:31:02,730 --> 00:31:05,230
[instrumental music]
637
00:31:07,780 --> 00:31:10,860
You know, I dreamed of this..
638
00:31:10,950 --> 00:31:13,660
...spending the night
in your arms.
639
00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:18,540
First it was Superman
I dreamed of.
640
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,920
Then it was Clark.
641
00:31:25,090 --> 00:31:26,880
And what happened?
642
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,340
Well..
643
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,760
...first you held me
in your arms..
644
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,020
...and then..
645
00:31:38,100 --> 00:31:39,930
...we kissed.
646
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,070
- And..
- And?
647
00:31:46,150 --> 00:31:49,150
And then I asked you
how you felt about me.
648
00:31:52,990 --> 00:31:57,450
I don't know...
how I feel about you.
649
00:31:59,410 --> 00:32:01,830
There is no one way.
650
00:32:01,910 --> 00:32:03,830
I feel..
651
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,750
[sighs]
...so many...things
652
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,880
and all at once.
653
00:32:13,090 --> 00:32:14,680
Happy...
654
00:32:16,050 --> 00:32:17,720
...but kind of scared, too.
655
00:32:19,810 --> 00:32:21,810
Excited.
656
00:32:21,890 --> 00:32:23,480
Calm.
657
00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:26,560
Lost.
658
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,490
Found.
659
00:32:33,530 --> 00:32:37,330
I feel safe in a way
that I've never known
660
00:32:37,410 --> 00:32:40,500
but...in danger, too.
661
00:32:40,580 --> 00:32:44,000
This thing between us,
whatever it is..
662
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,090
...it's stronger than me.
663
00:32:52,380 --> 00:32:56,840
Being with you...is
stronger than me alone.
664
00:33:00,100 --> 00:33:01,600
That's new to me.
665
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,690
[instrumental music]
666
00:33:10,230 --> 00:33:12,690
[dramatic music]
667
00:33:36,010 --> 00:33:38,140
(Belzer)
On your feet.
668
00:33:41,510 --> 00:33:43,930
[intense music]
669
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:50,570
I'll tell you what.
670
00:33:50,650 --> 00:33:52,110
I'm willing to forgo the bet
671
00:33:52,190 --> 00:33:53,780
anytime you wanna
change into..
672
00:33:53,860 --> 00:33:56,280
[whispering]
...Superman,
it's fine with me.
673
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,660
Lois, I kinda have to pick
my moments for changing into..
674
00:33:59,740 --> 00:34:00,910
[whispering]
...Superman.
675
00:34:00,990 --> 00:34:03,700
This one. This moment.
Pick this one.
676
00:34:03,790 --> 00:34:06,540
Maybe we're being watched.
I don't have the suit.
677
00:34:06,620 --> 00:34:08,120
Maybe we'd bust out of here
and never find out
678
00:34:08,210 --> 00:34:09,290
what's behind all this.
679
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:10,880
Do you have rules
for everything?
680
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,050
- Because that'd be good--
- You're being impulsive.
681
00:34:13,130 --> 00:34:15,800
I'd really like to think twice
about marrying somebody
682
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,760
with that kind of impulsive--
683
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,930
(Belzer)
'Hey, pipe down.'
684
00:34:23,970 --> 00:34:27,350
Your host requests the honor
of your company upstairs.
685
00:34:30,650 --> 00:34:32,320
(Lois)
'Ah, I think I'm gonna
have to pass.'
686
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,650
'I forgot my party clothes.'
687
00:34:33,730 --> 00:34:36,280
Spencer Spencer says
to come-as-you-are.
688
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,780
Hey, hold it, Houdini!
689
00:34:40,070 --> 00:34:42,240
- Aah!
- Nap time, sweetheart.
690
00:34:43,580 --> 00:34:46,000
I don't how you got
out of those chains
691
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,790
but this toxin will kill her
in a few minutes.
692
00:34:48,870 --> 00:34:50,370
The antidote is upstairs.
693
00:34:50,460 --> 00:34:51,920
If you so much as blink
694
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,670
she won't get it
695
00:34:53,750 --> 00:34:56,170
and you could say goodbye
to your babe.
696
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:01,890
'If he even breathes wrong'
697
00:35:01,970 --> 00:35:04,470
hit the alarm,
and this one dies.
698
00:35:05,430 --> 00:35:08,390
[dramatic music]
699
00:35:20,860 --> 00:35:23,570
Come on!
700
00:35:23,660 --> 00:35:27,040
Wake up!
701
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,620
'I've had lousy
dates before'
702
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:30,620
'but this is ridiculous.'
703
00:35:37,710 --> 00:35:41,090
Hiya, toots.
I'm Spencer Spencer.
704
00:35:41,180 --> 00:35:43,050
Welcome to my windowless lair.
705
00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,100
You're Spencer Spencer?
706
00:35:48,060 --> 00:35:49,810
I thought you'd be...taller.
707
00:35:49,890 --> 00:35:52,560
You know, you're lovely
when you're revolted.
708
00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:54,020
Look, I don't know
what's going on here
709
00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:55,310
but you might as well
just let me go.
710
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:56,730
Superman will be here
any minute.
711
00:35:56,820 --> 00:36:01,400
Well, that'd be just
hunky dory with me.
712
00:36:01,490 --> 00:36:04,450
[intense music]
713
00:36:20,510 --> 00:36:22,430
[zapping]
714
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:28,930
This place lined with lead?
715
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:31,350
It was built as
a fallout shelter.
716
00:36:31,430 --> 00:36:32,890
Quiet.
717
00:36:34,350 --> 00:36:36,400
[music continues]
718
00:36:42,780 --> 00:36:45,240
What's he doing with her?
719
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:46,620
Anything he wants.
720
00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:48,580
Well, that exactly does he want?
721
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,330
Superman.
722
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:54,370
[dramatic music]
723
00:36:56,210 --> 00:36:58,290
You know, I was gonna kill you
724
00:36:58,380 --> 00:36:59,960
'for all that crap
you wrote about me'
725
00:37:00,050 --> 00:37:01,340
but then I thought
you might prefer
726
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:03,510
an exciting career
opportunity.
727
00:37:03,590 --> 00:37:06,890
- What do you mean?
- You can be my sex slave.
728
00:37:06,970 --> 00:37:10,510
- Kill me.
- I know. I know. The body.
729
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,140
Maybe I shouldn't hide
it in a box.
730
00:37:13,230 --> 00:37:15,230
Maybe you imagine it worse
than it is.
731
00:37:15,310 --> 00:37:16,690
Maybe?
732
00:37:16,770 --> 00:37:18,190
You couldn't imagine
worse than this!
733
00:37:18,270 --> 00:37:19,860
My only chance
at girls like you
734
00:37:19,940 --> 00:37:21,650
is shooting 'em up
with cobra venom!
735
00:37:21,730 --> 00:37:22,990
And then it's iffy.
736
00:37:23,070 --> 00:37:24,490
But all that's
gonna change now
737
00:37:24,570 --> 00:37:26,820
thanks to modern medicine.
738
00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:28,950
[whirring]
739
00:37:31,740 --> 00:37:33,370
Oh, my God.
740
00:37:33,450 --> 00:37:36,500
What? I don't look good
in tights?
741
00:37:36,580 --> 00:37:38,540
The headless bodies,
it was you.
742
00:37:38,630 --> 00:37:40,040
[dramatic music]
743
00:37:41,590 --> 00:37:43,510
He says he can
get you want you want.
744
00:37:43,590 --> 00:37:44,760
- Lois?
- Clark.
745
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,550
Shut up. Blow.
746
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:51,260
Mess up, and she'll look
like a goalie for a dart team.
747
00:37:53,810 --> 00:37:55,640
Okay, Spencer,
here's the deal.
748
00:37:58,270 --> 00:37:59,860
- I'm Superman.
- Clark!
749
00:37:59,940 --> 00:38:02,110
- What?
- I am Superman.
750
00:38:02,190 --> 00:38:04,190
- No, he's not.
- Lois, stop.
751
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,030
- No, he's not.
- Yes, I am.
752
00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:09,240
I think you should know
this man is insane.
753
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,830
- Lois!
- So where's the suit?
754
00:38:11,910 --> 00:38:14,120
No, don't tell me,
you left it at home.
755
00:38:15,370 --> 00:38:17,250
- As a matter of fact.
- Oy..
756
00:38:17,330 --> 00:38:19,040
Someone get him out of here!
757
00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,130
Keep your eye
on the candelabra.
758
00:38:21,210 --> 00:38:22,590
Clark!
759
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,510
[zapping]
760
00:38:30,140 --> 00:38:32,560
Gee, am I impressed.
761
00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:35,810
Is there, uh, Kryptonite here?
762
00:38:37,230 --> 00:38:39,310
I have that feeling.
763
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,770
Well, Spencer,
you figured me out.
764
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,400
- I-I'm not Superman.
- He's not Superman.
765
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,900
A passing resemblance, maybe.
766
00:38:44,980 --> 00:38:46,280
It's a thing
he does at parties.
767
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:47,900
So now if you'll
just let her go--
768
00:38:47,990 --> 00:38:50,740
Enough! I don't know
what's going on here
769
00:38:50,820 --> 00:38:52,660
but...something is.
770
00:38:52,740 --> 00:38:54,910
Pescado!
Bring in the you-know-what!
771
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,830
[dramatic music]
772
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:05,880
[groans]
773
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,170
Clark!
774
00:39:08,630 --> 00:39:10,970
It is him!
775
00:39:11,050 --> 00:39:12,510
Doctor..
776
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,560
...scrub for surgery.
777
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:15,970
[music continues]
778
00:39:18,850 --> 00:39:20,940
Get in your cage.
779
00:39:25,190 --> 00:39:27,650
[crackling]
780
00:39:46,210 --> 00:39:48,670
[music continues]
781
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,930
Following the removal
of the head
782
00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:01,230
we will immediately freeze
the body in liquid nitrogen
783
00:40:01,310 --> 00:40:03,440
for attachment to you.
784
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:10,190
[music continues]
785
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,770
Ah! The Kryptonite has
rendered his flesh
786
00:40:40,850 --> 00:40:43,560
completely vulnerable.
787
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,480
[dramatic music]
788
00:40:48,610 --> 00:40:51,650
Night-night, Superman.
789
00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:55,910
[intense music]
790
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,460
[singing in German]
791
00:41:17,930 --> 00:41:19,430
[intense music]
792
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:35,950
[continues singing]
793
00:41:39,700 --> 00:41:42,160
[dramatic music]
794
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,920
Heidi!
795
00:42:00,350 --> 00:42:01,640
Heidi!
796
00:42:03,930 --> 00:42:05,480
Belzer!
797
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,190
Get whoever just
ran out of here.
798
00:42:11,270 --> 00:42:12,520
Do it, Pescado!
799
00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:16,030
Klavel, let's go!
800
00:42:17,780 --> 00:42:20,200
[dramatic music]
801
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,740
[grunting]
802
00:42:30,580 --> 00:42:33,840
Damn it, doctor! Make the cut
before he regains full strength!
803
00:42:36,420 --> 00:42:37,970
Heidi, the Nitrogen!
804
00:42:38,050 --> 00:42:39,760
Jawohl, Herr doctor.
805
00:42:41,430 --> 00:42:43,100
[both grunting]
806
00:42:45,350 --> 00:42:46,680
[wind howling]
807
00:42:48,940 --> 00:42:51,900
[intense music]
808
00:42:53,730 --> 00:42:55,820
'Okay. That'll hold you.'
809
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,990
[gunfire]
810
00:43:05,620 --> 00:43:08,580
[gunfire]
811
00:43:10,330 --> 00:43:12,000
[ice shattering]
812
00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,920
[music continues]
813
00:43:17,340 --> 00:43:19,050
[both groaning]
814
00:43:22,010 --> 00:43:23,430
Oh, gee.
815
00:43:25,260 --> 00:43:27,140
Where's Spencer Spencer?
816
00:43:29,350 --> 00:43:31,650
He's a...broken man.
817
00:43:34,060 --> 00:43:36,110
I'll call someone
to pick up those two.
818
00:43:36,190 --> 00:43:37,990
And then could we
please go home?
819
00:43:38,070 --> 00:43:42,450
[chuckles]
Do you wanna,
uh...wait for a boat?
820
00:43:42,530 --> 00:43:44,830
No. I want to fly.
821
00:43:44,910 --> 00:43:46,620
First class.
822
00:43:46,700 --> 00:43:48,000
Okay.
823
00:43:51,670 --> 00:43:55,040
So, so, uh, he tried
to decapitate Superman
824
00:43:55,130 --> 00:43:57,250
and make you
his love slave?
825
00:43:57,340 --> 00:43:59,210
Oh, this is terrific stuff!
826
00:43:59,300 --> 00:44:03,220
Ah, well, I mean, of course
you must be very shaken up
827
00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:05,300
'uh, unable to write even.'
828
00:44:05,390 --> 00:44:07,890
I'm sending you
the story now.
829
00:44:07,970 --> 00:44:09,390
'Oh, great.'
830
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,480
Now, uh, Lois, um..
831
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,310
...about that other thing
with Clark.
832
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,820
'Uh, have you thought
it over yet?'
833
00:44:16,900 --> 00:44:18,820
Well, things have been
pretty hectic.
834
00:44:18,900 --> 00:44:22,280
But you know that other side
to him I mentioned?
835
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:24,620
I think I decided
it's something
836
00:44:24,700 --> 00:44:26,530
I could put up with.
837
00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:30,410
- Goodnight, Perry.
- Goodnight, sweetie.
838
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:33,210
Oh-oh, listen,
Lois...great work.
839
00:44:34,580 --> 00:44:36,290
[laptop beeping]
840
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:39,550
[tapping on window]
841
00:44:44,300 --> 00:44:47,010
I was, uh..
842
00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:48,260
...out.
843
00:44:48,350 --> 00:44:50,220
And I wondered
how you were doing.
844
00:44:51,980 --> 00:44:54,440
Dare I ask
where these are from?
845
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,020
Uh, down the street.
Tony's.
846
00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:58,730
I paid cash.
You want to see a receipt?
847
00:44:58,820 --> 00:45:00,690
[chuckles]
No.
848
00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:07,370
[instrumental music]
849
00:45:15,710 --> 00:45:19,040
[chuckles]
Well, I better..
850
00:45:22,050 --> 00:45:23,510
Hmm.
851
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:28,430
[music continues]
852
00:45:44,570 --> 00:45:46,860
[theme music]
58773
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