Original subtitles

Hi, it's me. I'm not here.

If you're a friend or someone who's loved me,

I want to thank you for being a part of my life.

If it's you, Mom, I'm coming, I'll be there, relax.

Here's the beep.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler. - I'm calling from the gas company.

I hope you're doing well

and spending these final hours in peace with your loved ones.

Rest assured that we will make every effort

to keep the gas flowing right until the end.

Coming up on the last night on the planet,

you're listening to CKRT, the top-500 songs of all time.

With ya... till the end.

Last night

I didn't get to sleep at all

No no

I lay awake and watched

Until the morning light

Washed away the darkness

Of the lonely night

Lonely night

I should call you up

And just forget my foolish pride

I heard your number ringing

I went cold inside

And last night

I didn't get to sleep at all

I know it's not my fault

I did my best

God knows this heart of mine

Could use a rest

But more and more I find

The dreams I left behind

Are somehow too real to replace

Replace

Oh last night

I didn't get to sleep at all

Oh no no

The sleeping pill I took

Was just a waste of time

I couldn't close my eyes

'Cause you were on my mind

And last night

I didn't get to sleep didn't get to sleep

No I didn't get to sleep at all

But more and more I find

The dreams I left behind

Are somehow too real to replace

Oh oh last night

I didn't get to sleep at all

Oh no no

The sleeping pill I took

Was just a waste...

- Hi, Mom. - Yes, dear.

- I'm sorry, I-- - I'll be with you in a minute.

Let's go. There may be some unfamiliar faces in here.

Hi.

- Your esteemed grandmother. - Ah!

- There he is! - Oh, you look so handsome in that suit.

- Yes, well... - Aunt Rose.

- Rose. - You remember Rose from Edmonton?

Dear sister Jennifer.

- Hi. - Alex.

Alex, I thought that was you.

I didn't know you were back in the picture. I thought you'd fled to...

- Patrick. - To the hills.

Patrick, shut up.

He comes back when it counts.

- Yeah, but I'm surprised you could come. - I thought you'd have

some big family thing, some big pig roast,

or something-- Patrick!

- What? I'm greeting him like a brother. - You're being obnoxious.

Yeah, well, exactly.

- Don't pay any attention. - He's trying to be funny.

Actually, we are going to my parents after.

So,

- let's enjoy the time we have. - We were just opening the stockings.

- What? Where's mine? - You already started?

Well, we couldn't wait forever.

I don't know, maybe there isn't anything left.

- What did you get? Is this yours? - Did she give you all this?

All of this... great stuff.

One of these, yeah.

Isn't it a little late for that?

- It's old. - From when I was a kid.

She's wrapping this old stuff up from the attic.

It's like nostalgia.

- Right... - Did you notice the tree?

It's a nice tree.

Your old daddy got out the chainsaw and he dragged it back.

From the front yard of the Winterson house.

- It's quite the tree. - You remember Hazel Winterson.

They were one of the first to leave.

I'm not surprised.

- Here we are! - Ooh, aren't you lucky.

Look what Santa brought you last night.

Yeah!

- Not that you deserve it. - Thank you, Santa.

Imagine, coming late to Christmas.

Not in the fire.

Oh, right, it's fake.

- What do you mean, it's fake? - It's not fake.

It's not for burning.

- Use the bag. - When you two were kids,

you always used to wake us at six o'clock.

"Oh! Oh, can we open the presents now, Mom?

Mom! Mom, It's Christmas! Wake up, Dad!"

Well, no point trying to go to sleep.

But your father put his foot down. No opening the presents

until your grandma arrives.

We had to put a skipping rope across the stairs

just to keep you from getting at the tree.

Skipping rope?

Surprised it worked.

Now, he comes an hour late.

Uh, well, Mom, there are two

really good excuses I can think of that maybe you should keep in mind.

For one thing, it's not really Christmas today,

is it, Mom?

And for another thing, it's the end of the world.

The world is ending tonight at midnight,

and that's kept me pretty occupied lately.

I'll check the dinner.

Would it hurt you to play along just once?

- It means a lot to her to have her family. - I'm sorry.

Today of all days...

All right...

Okay, I'm opening.

- Can I open the big one first? - Wait for your mother.

Mom? Mom!

I have just one question for my listeners.

Do you think Jimmy is loving Mary Ann

on their last night together?

Take a look in the looking glass and you'll find your answer.

Here on CKRT,

with ya... until the end.

So, choose.

Oh. Perfect.

Tropical punch.

You treat me so well.

Well, you get one every day at around now, if I'm not mistaken.

I thought I'd try it myself.

I thought you never noticed.

Well... but I did.

So, how goes the battle?

Fine. Good.

- Good old computer. - Mm.

Well, imagine...

even 10 years ago,

you'd've had to have eight or nine stations just to keep the system running.

I know.

- And now... - Now...

- Just you. - And you.

- Oh, well, I... - I'm almost done.

Go ahead.

- Oh, you've already got one. - Oh, this...

Yes, well... this one's old.

- You know, flat. - Yeah.

Well... keep up the fight.

Whoa, people!

This is the last night, you hear me?

- Hi, this is Rowena. - Please leave a message. Thanks.

Good evening, Mrs. Nora Wheeler, I'm calling from the gas company

and we just wanted to thank you for being our customer over the years.

I hope you are doing well

and spending these final hours at peace with your loved ones.

Rest assured that we will do our utmost

to keep the gas flowing right until the end.

Thank you and goodbye.

Look what you're doing.

Will somebody get that?

Just leave it, Mom.

Leave it to the machine.

And Aunt Margot is taking the whole family,

including the Simpson clan,

up north to Muskoka.

And she says the whole congregation is going to meet around the lake.

And at midnight -- or quarter to, I guess--

they're all going out in canoes.

Oh, excruciating!

Imagine ending it all singing "Kumbaya"!

Yes...

Well, she's with the United Church.

There she is!

- Your mother... - What a bird!

...knows how to handle a turkey.

- Don't butcher it. - I'll be right back.

What's she talking about?

Rose, uh, you like the dark?

Please.

There were... people in the street again today.

- It seems to go in cycles. - You be careful when you leave.

Don't go out in the streets unless you have to.

- Oh, come on, Dad. They're safe. - They're just having fun.

- Oh, that's fun, is it? - I'm not so sure.

I have to admit they've been better the last while,

but that's not saying much, compared to the first months.

Remember that nonsense?

- There's like two sides. - To what?

Well, I mean, I understand.

You understand what?

- Well, why people do it. - You know, go crazy in the street.

Mother, I have a little ham you might prefer...

for your condition.

People are destroying things,

killing people.

It's just a... It's just a chance to blow some off.

- What, heads? - Steam.

Steam. Oh, my mistake.

Yeah, blow off some steam.

Right. Alex, I think maybe I should mention,

before you make any faux-pas here,

that we have a tradition in this family that we don't kill other people.

Patrick, that's not what he's saying.

You know what he means.

People want to experience things.

And we're all gonna die anyway, so...

It gives us all the more reason to be civil.

Now more than ever, we should be courteous, respect each other's needs.

It's a test of our values.

Sweetheart, are you joining us?

Nice speech, Dad.

Well, look at that.

I know that this is a bit much,

but, Patrick, you always loved lamb.

Well, that should do it.

We didn't want anyone to starve.

Well, thank God we don't have to fit in those canoes.

I'm stuffed just looking at it.

I wanted you to have something special

so when you go home, Patrick, alone,

at midnight,

you'll remember your parents weren't so bad.

Sweetheart, is that all, or...?

Yes, I'm ready!

Oh, Christ...

Let's say grace.

For what we are about to receive,

may the Lord make us truly thankful.

Amen.

Mom, I told you about this three weeks ago.

- Why can't you just stay? - A couple of hours.

You haven't got anybody to go home to.

Mom, I made a decision

about where I want to be when it happens,

and I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to accept that.

Well, the food's getting cold, isn't it?

Hi.

Hi.

- I'm Lily. - I know.

I'm black.

I could tell.

Yep, 100 percent.

I believe you. You're... perfect.

Come on in.

Make yourself at home.

Uh, would you like a drink?

I have, uh... drinks.

Cognac.

All right. Cognac it is.

- Um, should I take off my clothes? - No!

Hold on, I'll be there in a minute.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

You don't remember me, do you?

No.

We met once before.

At a party.

At Basil's place.

I used to go to a lot of parties.

Yeah...

That's how I got your number, through a friend of Basil's.

I was asking around and, uh... Chris Fenton is his name.

Anyway, he was talking about this one girl--

a beautiful girl--

and, uh... clic! Like that, I remembered.

That's very sweet.

So we should, uh...

- Head to the bedroom. - Yeah.

Go ahead, I'll be with you in a minute.

- More? - No.

No. You don't have to.

What I was trying to say out there

is that you're very beautiful and I knew that before.

I just wanted you to know that I'm not doing this because you're black.

Yes, you are.

You don't have to lie.

Yeah.

So, uh, before we get started,

there's a couple of things I'd like to try.

Nothing too weird, I think you'll agree.

But, uh, you know, if there's anything you had in mind...

Yes.

...maybe you could tell me before so we could fit it in.

Hey, don't worry.

You'll be just fine.

I just wanted to have an orgasm today.

I'll do my best.

I've been watching you

The way you move your sexy body

I'm liking the things you do...

I love each and every one of you.

Leave a message.

Good evening, Mr. Zwiller.

I'm calling from the gas company.

Mom, can I get my ears pierced?

You promised me I could get my ears pierced when I was 12.

- And now, I'm 12 and 3 months. - Let's talk about something else.

- I hate this. - Silence.

Excuse me,

how long have you been waiting?

Almost 20 minutes.

- Oh, Jesus! Where did he go? - Who?

The driver.

What driver?

I don't suppose you know how to drive this thing, do you?

- See, Mom, you see that? - I hate this!

No, darling, I didn't see it.

We've got about four hours until the end of the world.

And I'm spinning this one for the kids.

Done?

Done.

I have a confession to make.

You bad girl.

Every day?

For seven years.

At six o'clock,

no matter what I was doing, or what I was supposed to be doing:

one drink, my private ritual.

So now it's off my chest.

Of course, you know I could fire you for this.

Do you want one?

Um, I think not, but you go ahead.

Right.

You're driving.

You'll call me if you need me?

Now why would I need you?

That's true.

If there's a problem...

Don't let me down.

Listen to my heart pound

Listen to my love song

Patrick, just promise me you'll call them, okay?

Promise.

- I promise. - Swear to God.

- You be good. - Patrick...

Take care of her.

Can I help you?

Uh... this is where I live.

Oh, sorry.

- Can I help you? - No.

Actually, yes.

- Do you have a phone. - Uh, no, not on my person, no.

- No, but inside. - There's a pay phone on the corner.

That doesn't work.

Well, if that doesn't work, mine won't either.

No that doesn't work because it's smashed.

Please, it's important.

Hi, hon, it's me.

I thought you said you'd still be there.

Uh... No, I guess you got off early. Okay, bye.

Good afternoon, please leave it here.

Hello, honey...

Honey, where are you? I need you to come pick me up.

My car got attacked and I'm stuck here on Phoenix Drive.

364.

364 Phoenix Drive, at 538-0398.

Call me, please. I'll try you on the car phone.

Uh, you gave him my number?

- I'm sorry, is that all right? - Hello.

- Can you... - Veuillez laisser votre numéro...

Shit!

Well, they haven't worked for weeks.

Cell phones never really did.

I'm sorry, am I keeping you?

- From what? - From your children.

I don't have any.

But these paintings...

Oh, those were done by other people's children.

From a daycare.

- So, are you going to a party? - Nope.

People coming over?

No, I'm staying here by myself.

- Oh, then I'll wait here a minute. - Do you mind?

I just went out to pick up some things and my husband is.., somewhere.

I have to get home.

Would you like a magazine or something?

Something to eat?

- Don't entertain me. - Just do what you were doing.

Candy cane?

My mother, she just threw this big Christmas dinner.

She wanted us to relive

our happiest moments as a family.

So she took all this stuff from our childhood

and wrapped it up and gave it to us as gifts.

This stuff?

Yeah, there's, uh...

these old report cards here,

and awards that I won,

and these little craft things like that.

Let me see that.

Oh, yeah, diving. Yeah. It must've been my sister's.

I think I had some of these.

Pete Seeger. That rings a bell.

Yeah, my mother says I loved that.

"Guantanamera."

She sounds nice.

Who? My mother, that she would do all this?

No, that she gave you Pete Seeger when you were a kid.

Oh, well, uh... I don't want to give you the wrong impression.

It's not exactly indicative of my family.

Actually, we had this big fight

when I told her there were socialist implications.

To what? Pete Seeger?

"Oh, Patrick, why do you have to go and spoil everything nice?"

I didn't know.

- What? - That he was a socialist.

Oh, uh... you know, folk music.

He had these sing-along things, right?

Uh... yeah.

On TV.

Pete Seeger of the Weavers?

You might be thinking of Mitch Miller or something?

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Guantanamera

It's Spanish.

The streams of the mountain pleases me more than the sea.

I should go.

So you're going back there?

- Where? - To your mother's.

No, I told you, I'm staying here.

- By yourself? - Yes, if I can.

If that's not so hard to imagine.

For billing inquiry, press 2.

Jesus Christ, where the fuck are you?!

Look, if you need a car, you can always get one.

Where?

From... from anywhere.

Steal one.

Stupid cell phones.

Three hours!

Three more hours!

- Hurry up! - Shut up, lady!

Move it. Move on, here.

Hmm. Well, here I am.

I'm a little bit early. I hope that's not a problem.

- No, no, no, that's perfect. - My friend just left.

- We have the place to ourselves? - That's right.

Come in.

So this is your apartment.

Where you live.

Isn't it nice.

- Is it? - It is.

And what had you been doing again?

What do you mean? Before?

Before. With your life.

Uh... well, I...

I finished, uh, school.

Finally.

And, uh...

I took a couple of years off.

I was going to med school, so...

I guess I would've been a doctor of some sort.

Aw, that's wonderful.

I always knew you had it in you.

Isn't it nice how things worked out so well

and you grew up so nicely.

You're a handsome man.

Thank you.

So...

Uh... can I get you something to drink?

I have... drinks.

Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you.

So, Craig, you probably won't want to hear this,

but I saw your stepmother at the SuperSave last week.

Oh, Christ.

And she has met another man and married him, as you may know.

And she made me promise that if I ran into you,

I would tell you that you're welcome if you want to join their circle.

Their circle, right.

Their prayer circle.

They're all meeting at Mel Lastman Square

and for the 24 hours leading to the end,

they're going to pray for the souls of humanity.

Of course, you've missed the beginning by now,

but I'm sure you can join in whenever you come.

Oh, well...

as much as that sounds like fun...

You have your own way to worship, I guess.

Yeah, I... I guess I do.

Give me a hug.

I was surprised by your call.

And happy.

You know you were always a favorite.

My favorite student.

You were a favorite of mine.

Well, I know now.

We should, um...

head to the bedroom.

I've been watching you

The way you move your sexy body

I'm liking the things you do

The way you move...

Even when you're with someone else, you're still by yourself

and I don't think that's pathetic, I don't think that's sad.

- What about this one? - Uh, no, let's keep going.

But what I do find sad and what I do find pathetic,

is people who don't know themselves,

or people who don't like themselves

and as soon as they hear that the world is ending,

they rush out and try and hook up with someone

like it was closing time at Studio 54.

Well, I guess I'm not the one to talk to.

I mean, I know in my heart

that I'm not in a meaningful relationship right now.

I'm not with a woman that I love and I can deal with that.

I just feel that now is not the time to compromise.

There's something to be said for human companionship.

- This one? - Fine, fine.

Okay, stand back.

No, wait! Oh, Jesus.

I can't drive standard.

Oh, that's all right, I don't like it much anyways.

I mean, cars are another big disappointment.

They should've gone farther than this.

They've peaked both esthetically and technically

sometime around the mid-'70s-- 72, according to my friend --

and then basically no progress.

I mean, we deserved better. I mean, even the little things, you know?

Why did they always have to be shiny?

Why couldn't they make a car with a nice matte finished?

Well, there is something to be said for human companionship.

Oh, come on, I like human beings as much as the next guy.

- Okay, this one. - Okay? This one?

Yeah, all right.

Here we go.

Madam, your car.

So now what?

Now, we, uh, start it.

Well, I think I understand where you're coming from.

It might make sense in your mind, but I can't really say I agree.

Meaning what?

- Take my life, for example. - How I met my husband.

I never knew him.

We met at a party when the government closed down.

Three days later, we were married.

That was like two months ago.

And I had been married before. Once before.

To a guy from a bakery shop where I used to work.

So I should've known better.

But this marriage,

my current marriage, is the best relationship I've ever had.

I love him.

I feel like we've lived a lifetime together.

So I guess I'm one of those people you hate.

Oh, well, I didn't mean it that way.

- And another thing. - I'm pregnant.

You're going to have his baby?

Carrying it, his embryo, my baby.

Do you think that's immoral?

Immoral? Well, uh...

Well, no, none of us can have children.

Actually, I think it's kind of sweet.

I wanted to know if I could do it, if I had the power.

And I do.

We could've done anything together.

I love him.

And we're going to go all the way.

What are you doing?

Well, uh, there's some wires under this thing.

If you break it off...

You don't know how to do this, do you?

No. No, I have no idea.

Taxi! Taxi!

- What the fuck! - You want me to run you over?!

Yeah, just, uh...

Hi. Uh, thanks for stopping.

My friend here needs a...

a smoke. Do you have a cigarette?

We're coming up on about 9:30,

and we've reached number 34 in the top-500 songs of all time.

We can't stop the clock,

but we can make it go a little smoother.

Mr. Burton Cummings.

Glamor boy

Get your costume on

You got 'em lined up waitin' for you

Glamor boy

You got 'em standin' in the aisles

So don't hang 'em up

For twenty-five-thousand dollars you can look like a woman tonight

For twenty-five-thousand dollars I think it'll work out right

I think it'll work out

I think it'll work out

Oh you never know how to write it

Think it'll work out

Work out work out

So spin with the archer now

And laugh in his face as he cocks his bow

Steal from his mistress

As she's makin' love to your family

And be aware

That there's not many there

Who want to take time to sing

Don't you wanna take time to sing and play

An honest song for the people tonight

Patrick. Patrick Wheeler.

What a treat to see you today.

Right... Menzies.

This is a friend of mine from high school.

Yeah, absolutely, the old orange and blue.

- Yeah, right. - Is this your car?

You know, uh,

you're lucky I ran into you today.

Yeah, maybe.

Because I have two extra tickets

for the concert tonight that I would be honored to give you.

Oh, great.

So what concert's that? The thing downtown?

- You didn't hear? - It's my concert.

I finally got my recital.

Tonight, 11:00 sharp.

Catroli Hall.

- Really? - That's really prestigious.

We all knew you had it in you.

We spent all day

driving around, me and my cousin Ernie,

looking for a tux. Mine was ruined.

Show him the tux, Ernie.

I finally found one at Harry Rosen.

Harry Rosen of all places!

Right. Okay, well, that's the thing.

My friend here needs a lift.

Well, I guess we could drive her.

But it's only three blocks.

Right, but she's going across town.

But if you're finished with the car...

Patrick... I need it.

At least until the show.

You know, Ernie might have to run errands or little...

- You know how concerts are. - Right.

I'd love to help you out.

And your friend. She looks like a movie star.

- But, uh, I only have one car. - Right.

Not like Craig Zwiller.

- Well, good luck, then. - Break a leg.

- Oh, keep them. - In case you're in the neighborhood.

Patrick, I really appreciate all your help.

Oh, listen, my pleasure.

Uh... one second.

I've been watching you

The way you move your sexy body

Yeah, what is it?

Craig, it's me, Patrick.

I have to ask you a favor.

What is it? I'm busy.

Let me in. It's important.

Everything is important today.

Ten minutes.

- So what is all that stuff anyway? - Do you have to drag it around?

Oh, it's just some stuff we needed tonight.

My husband and I are gonna commit suicide.

We're gonna kill each other at midnight.

So...

I guess you really love him, then.

Patrick Wheeler? Look at you.

You look like you're waiting for the principal.

Again.

Madame Carlton.

And what have you been up to, Patrick?

Qu'est-ce qui s'est passé depuis le temps?

J'étais un architect

dans un bureau de architecture.

You mean my job?

Oui. Bravo.

Je n'ai jamais fait quelque édifice

moi-même. None were actually built.

Oui, oui.

Mais j'ai travaillé...

J'ai fait beaucoup de dessin

et j'ai travaillé sur beaucoup de projets

avec les autres architects.

L'important, c'est d'y mettre l'effort

et de rêver.

It's the dream that counts.

It's nice, you can still remember.

Mais bien sûr.

Bravo.

Well, French was never your forte, Craig.

Au revoir, Madame.

- Adieu. - Adieu.

Bon voyage.

Fuck off!

No.

You can't have it. It's unfair to even ask.

- Oh, man, it's not for me. - All the more reason.

- It was my car first. - Right. And now it's mine.

I bought it. It's been mine for over two years.

It's part of my... thing.

- Patrick, let's go. - We can't force him, okay?

- Come on, man, do something good. - Fuck off with that good shit.

- Let's go. I'll find another car. - It's fine.

- What are you doing? - Planning a road trip or something?

'Cause guess what? You don't have time.

- Look, I told you, it's not about that. - It's not about... utility.

- You know, listen, I'm sorry. - It's important.

I'm sorry we had to interrupt your last day. Let's go.

You have two others.

- It's a collection. - They're antique cars.

Two old cars is not a collection, it's a guy with two old cars.

Take it. Bastard.

I knew you'd give in.

I wanted to die a man with three cars.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, he's obviously fucked.

Thanks a lot, my dearest friend.

So I'll walk you to the car?

Oh, I'm sure I can find it.

- It's hard to miss. - A 1970 lime-green Super B,

overhead cams, dual exhaust. It was one of the first...

Not that you'll need to look under the hood.

- Thank you very much. - Thank you.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

- Are you sure you're gonna be all right? - You don't need any help?

No, I'd better go.

Oh, uh, Patrick,

what are you doing right now?

Right now, uh...

going home, I guess.

If my husband calls, tell him I'm coming.

So...

Not bad.

Not bad, eh, Mrs. Carlton.

No, I was referring to what's-her-name.

Oh, Sandra. Yeah, not bad.

- Come on, don't be modest. - No, I barely know her.

Ha! Even better, you dog.

- No. No, she's a stranger. - I helped her find a car.

And that's it?

What's the matter with you?

I saw the way she was looking.

Women these days are ripe for the picking.

Well, I don't think that was an option here.

Hmm! Are you kidding me?!

They all want to go out with a... bang.

Patrick, when was the last time you got...

some?

For one brief moment, I thought you had actually forgotten your tragedy.

- Look, I'm not complaining. - You don't have to--

And realized that what is one death

compared to the fact in another two hours,

every living soul on Earth is gonna evaporate.

Yeah, well I realize that.

It just doesn't turn me on, you know?

If Karen were here, she'd want you to be with other people, right?

- If Karen was here? - No, I don't think so.

- But she liked people. - You know what I mean?

She worked in a kindergarten, for fuck's sake.

Vitamins.

Well, listen, I appreciate your concern, but...

It' a question of perspective.

Living while you can and, baby, it's not too late.

I mean, most people are probably taken by now.

But if I were you, I would get on the blower, get on the Internet.

I mean, that's what it's there for, that's why they invented it.

Come here, I'll show you something.

One thing that this has proved to me:

you have to take life in your own hands.

You have to fulfill your own destiny.

I'm sure there's things, Patrick, that you feel ripped off about.

Sure, I guess, but I'm pretty much over it now.

Take a look at this.

I tried to ask myself,

what did I want?

What were those experiences that I had hoped for

which were now just passing me by?

And I made a list, I made a comprehensive list,

and then I went out and I actively tried to meet those goals.

And as you can see, it wasn't that hard.

"Anal sex."

Can you believe it?

I had never given it to a woman up the ass before.

You know? I'm not afraid to say it now,

it's way past modesty at this point.

"Redhead.

Black, Chinese. Blind."

"Sex outdoors.

Sex with a virgin."

See, it's split into different categories.

Types of location, types of act,

type of woman.

- What about bestiality? - You done that yet?

Not on the list. It's just things I've wanted to do, not just every perversion.

"Coercive sex."

Um... within limits.

"Ménage à trois."

Oui.

These are things I really believed in.

I had to look in my heart. Some of these things were hard to achieve.

Some of these things were hard to...

admit to.

But I'm proud of what I've done. I'm proud of what I've...

accomplished.

I'm not going to my grave with any regrets.

And all of this since yesterday morning?

Oh, yeah.

Ha-ha! No!

Two solid months.

And it's not over yet.

I wanna die having a...

mutual orgasm.

Oh, well, I'd better be going, then.

- See, that's a pretty basic fantasy. - I mean, if you gotta go...

- You might as well be coming. - Right.

Hey, hey, hey, Patrick.

Look, I wasn't trying to show off.

Or trying to make you feel inadequate.

I was showing you that as a friend and a buddy.

I was actually trying to inspire you.

Thank you.

Drink up, honey.

One and a half!

Just one and a half!

You gonna be okay out there?

- Yeah, yeah, sure. - It's just a couple of blocks.

Yeah...

Can you do me one favor before you go?

Sure.

Come in.

Uh, Patrick, have a seat.

I was trying to give you a hint up there by, uh...

showing you the list, but I guess you don't, uh...

read too well, right?

I forgot.

What?

Man, you're stupid.

Do you want to have sex?

That was down at the bottom of the list.

I mean, there were certain acts

that could only be done with other men.

That necessarily wouldn't include anal sex, 'cause I already did that,

but, you know, there are other things. I mean--

Right, right, I understand.

- Patrick, I like you. - I mean, I always have.

And I like you too.

And to be perfectly honest, I never thought of you that way.

I mean... but that idea of, uh...

sex with other men, you know, it crossed my mind.

As it has done with most of us, probably.

Of course.

So...

here's our chance.

I mean, you could do worse.

- Well, uh... - I thought you had a date.

I do.

So we don't have much time.

It's not gonna take that long.

Come on, you've already done this

I don't know how many times today. It's gonna take some time.

- Look, are you being judgmental? - No, I'm not.

There's no judgment here, 'cause I don't have time for that.

- No, I'm not. - I put myself on the line here.

- And I'm flattered. - I'm moved by that.

Don't fucking condescend to me.

I would do it.

If you asked me any other time, I swear...

I always thought I should, you know?

If you'd given me some time to prepare psychologically

and some time after,

a couple of months...

I knew it, you're a wuss.

- It's nothing personal. - It has nothing to do with you.

I would say the same thing to a woman.

It's just, sex, today...

I just don't want to risk having bad sex today.

Just don't want that to be the last thing on my mind.

And you think I'm fucked.

But I love you.

And I love you, pal.

Okay.

- Mercy-fuck your skinny ass? - What was I thinking?

In your dreams, pal.

- Fuck on home. - Ahem.

Oh, I forgot to mention.

I saw Menzies just around the corner. I'm sure he'd be game.

- Oh, really? Fuck off. - Okay, I will.

- See ya. - No, you won't.

Good luck.

Fag.

Coming up on the last hour,

and we've reached number 12 on the top-500 of all time,

according to... me, right?

So don't bother calling me.

This time, it's my choice.

Did you know I'd go to sleep and leave the lights on

Hopin' you'd come by and know that I was home and still awake

But two years go by

And still my lights on

This is hard for me to say but this is all that I can say

It's the last song

I'll ever write for you

It's the last time

- Hey, this is for pedestrians! - Get out of the way!

- Get off the car. - Get off the car!

This is the last song I'll ever sing for you

You come looking for the light...

Hey, baby! Hey!

Where you going? Why don't you have some fun with us? Come on.

- Just go away. - Come on, baby.

Just don't think you understand the virtues of fun. Come on.

- Leave me alone. - Come on! I just want you

- to have a little fun. - I just want to go home.

I just want you to be happy.

- What? - Leave her alone!

- Gross! - She doesn't want to party.

- Thank you. - I can handle myself.

- Are you okay? - I've got a gun!

Okay.

Take care.

- Yeah, I don't know. - I'm waiting for him.

- Hey, who was that? - A lady.

- Oh, yeah? - Well, thanks anyway.

I thought it was a friend of my brother's.

He used to collect cars like that.

Fuck!

Come on, let's go.

Where's this party anyway?

Let's go.

Come on, let's go!

Ignore them, honey, ignore them. Shh.

Come on!

Mom!!!

...sightings, swearing

and tearing asunder the monuments of civilization.

Closer to home,

over 600 would-be rockstars joined with Randy Bachman,

in North York, for the world's largest guitar jam.

Here they are learning the chords to "Taking Care of Business."

Taking care of business and working overtime

A great song.

We now continue with our live coverage

from Nathan Phillips Square,

where hundreds of thousands of people

are now converging to celebrate and to mourn.

Thanks again to Hank...

What do you want?

Hey, nothing.

- Come on, Marty, let's just go. - Don't move.

- Marty, forget it. - We've gotta go downtown.

Shut up.

- Come on, Marty, forget it. - Let's just get outta here.

Shut up.

- Marty, we don't have time. - Shut up!

- Great! This is fantastic. - Shut up.

Look at me.

I'm not afraid of you.

I'm not afraid of what you can do.

You're the one who's afraid.

You're the one who's afraid.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,

for coming out to my debut.

I hope you enjoy it

as much as I hope to enjoy it.

Well, I don't know.

I was thinking more like Bruckner or, uh, Beethoven...

Oh, come on, a little obvious...

No, that's for Christmas.

That's for Christmas.

Tell her that's for Christmas or for Easter.

Well, I don't have a copy, so it's pretty academic, really.

No, I told you, I-I-I'm feeling good.

Good...

I am in good spirits.

Well, I don't know what they sound like, but I think I would know...

- Uh... Yeah, hold on. - Hold on a second.

Patrick?

Hello!

Patrick, open up, please!

It's me!

- Yeah, I got to go, Dad. - I'll call you later...

- I love you, son. - Yeah, I love you too.

Take the phone.

- Did he call? - Did he leave a message?

I don't know. I didn't check.

We can do that after.

Pick it up.

Pick it up, please. Pick it up.

Here, come on upstairs.

Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler.

I'm calling from the gas company.

I hope you're doing well

and spending these final hours in peace with your loved ones.

Rest assured that we will make every effort

to keep the gas flowing right until the end.

Thank you, goodbye.

Memory is full. Message received at 5:53 p.m.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler. - I'm calling from the gas company.

I hope you're doing well

and spending these final hours in peace with your loved ones.

Rest assured that we will make every effort

to keep the gas flowing right until the end.

Thank you, goodbye.

Memory is full. Message received at 5:53 p.m.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler. - I'm calling from the gas company.

I hope you're doing well

and spending these final hours in peace with your loved ones.

Message received at 5:53 p.m.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Wheeler. - I'm calling from the gas company.

I hope you're doing well

and spending these final hours in peace with your loved ones.

- He sounds like... - a nice person.

Memory is full.

You can tell from his voice.

I'm...

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Don't be sorry.

I'm sure that, whatever happened,

I'm sure that he tried to reach you.

He's obviously conscientious.

The machine was full, right?

So I'm sure...

- Patrick, I have to ask you a question. - Feel free to say no.

Yes.

Yes what?

Yes, you can stay.

You can spend the night until the end.

Even if he was there, your husband,

you wouldn't make it home in time.

It's past eleven.

And anyway, I want you to stay.

I've been thinking about it and it's not an imposition.

It's not like I want to have sex with you.

But I do feel like...

like I like you.

We made a connection and...

I want us to be together.

I want you to shoot me.

Oh... so that was the question.

My husband and I made a promise,

and I'm not backing down.

No matter where he is, I know it's what he's doing.

I'm not gonna let this world take my life.

I am not just gonna pass away.

At 12:00, I'm asking you to shoot me.

Well, I don't know if... if I can.

I'll shoot you too.

Well, sit down and, uh...

make yourself at home and, uh...

we can discuss this.

I mean...

Help me pick a record to play.

I mean, I hardly know you.

I mean, why, for instance,

did you choose this particular wine?

I don't know.

It's bad wine.

- I don't care who it is. - I think it's wonderful.

What's the big secret?

Did he sound happy?

Happy? I guess so.

Happy to get off the phone.

Jennifer?

- Hi, I'm calling like I said I would. - Good.

Yeah, I just called, it was busy.

Well, your brother just called and it turns out there's a girl after all.

You're joking! Who?

- I don't know. - You'd better ask your mother.

- Hi, honey. - So who's the girl?

Now this is Christmas '79.

Chester, you crazy dog! What a wild one!

Oh, no, I'm wrong. It's still Jenny's birthday.

Oh, that woman must've been cousin Margot,

visiting from Regina.

Hello, darling.

- Oh! There's a picture of you, Rose. - Mm-hmm.

What a sad face.

Oh, I wonder how they're doing.

When did they think they were gonna watch all of this?

Barbecues.

Open fires.

Foreign food.

And traveling. I like to travel.

I've been to every continent.

Except South America.

So how was Antarctica?

And Antarctica.

But even there, I wish I'd seen it, too.

Ice cream.

I guess that's pretty obvious.

No, no, it counts.

I could use some right now.

Strawberry ice cream, straight out of the package.

Sorry, can't help you.

So do you feel like you now me?

Better than anyone.

How about you?

Me...

Uh, okay.

Well, I was born here in Toronto

and lived here all my life.

In North York, actually.

And my father was a stockbroker.

Okay, you better hurry up.

Tell me something to make me love you.

Uh... okay.

Tell me your big tragedy.

My tragedy...

About the girl you loved who ran away or died.

She died.

It's pretty obvious.

But people die all over.

You have to put it into perspective.

Soon, we all will.

Uh... it's hard...

it's hard for me to explain this.

You'd have to meet my family.

But, um... well, she taught me how...

I could love.

How much.

Which is a lot, actually.

Surprising. You'd never believe it. Someone like me.

But, um...

You know, actually...

It's embarrassing for me to tell you this,

and, uh, to tell her,

but, um...

she... she died,

and then they said the world would end.

I'm sorry.

She was sick.

Remember when people got sick

and died one at a time?

- It's not your fault. - That she died? I know.

That the world is ending.

- Yeah... yeah, that too. - I know.

I'm not that arrogant.

Tell me more.

I wanna love you.

It won't be hard.

- Well, that's about it. - That's my big story.

It usually does the trick.

- Okay, uh... - Tell me all the details.

It's hard on them.

It's harder on their children.

I think those little ones...

I don't give a damn.

People are always saying, "The children,"

"pity the children."

I'm tired of the children.

They haven't lived,

given birth, watched their friends die.

I have invested 80 years in this life.

The children don't know what they're missing.

Good point.

Well...

- We should get ready. - Ready.

How do I know that you are what you say you are?

What do you mean?

I think you could tell.

Well, no, I've never had one before, so...

I'm a virgin.

Why would I lie?

People do. I mean, I would if I were in your place.

Yes, well...

I mean, if you were younger-- I think I'd better go.

No. I mean...

You're beautiful.

I'd wanna have you anyway.

So... beautiful, I mean, it's hard to believe you.

That was my point.

The way you move your sexy body

It's nice.

Would... Do you want a drink? I have drinks.

That won't be necessary.

I think we'd better get to work.

They could not help me to

Two of you

And y'all sexy body

Aii aii

Fifteen!

Fifteen minutes!

In a way, I feel kind of privileged.

I mean, it's the biggest thing that ever happened.

And we're gonna be there.

I mean, no one was there to witness the beginning.

But we're gonna be there at the end.

Yes, it may be very beautiful.

Are you sure you don't want to see it for yourself?

It'll mean more coming from you.

- Is there anything else I should get? - Get a clock?

I don't think we'll need one.

We should be able to hear the countdown from the street.

Okay.

Let's go to the can --last chance-- and make our final phone calls.

Let's take another look at the crowds of people

filling Nathan Phillips Square.

As I understand, they have become a little more rowdy,

although there are no major incidents

to report.

Well, pop that champagne, it's now officially...

10 minutes

until the end of the world.

Out on the streets, the crowds are getting pretty wild.

This is crazy!

- I'm gonna stand up. - Okay, stand up.

Stand up and take a look. Can you see it?

Yeah. Whoo!!!

- What's the matter? - Nothing.

Look, it's not you.

- Well, what, then? - We don't have much time.

I had a busy day.

Look, 10 minutes, I'll be fine.

I'll be fine.

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Yo soy un hombre sincero

Wait till the last second.

De donde crecen las palmas

- How will I know? - You'll know.

Yo soy un hombre sincero

- How? It's never happened before. - How will I know?

We'll know.

It's too big.

Wait till you're certain.

Guantanamera

God! It's times like this when I really miss the night.

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Mi verso es de un verde claro

Y de un carmin encendido

Two minutes!

Mi verso es de un verde claro

Y de un carmin encendido

Call for... your help...

Que busca en el monte amparo

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

25, 24...

The words mean, "I am a truthful man

from the land of the palm trees.

And before dying, I want to share these poems of myself."

The last verse says,

Con los pobres de la tierra.

The streams of the mountain please me

more than the sea.

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

Guantanamera

Guajira Guantanamera

16, 15,

14, 13, 12...

11, 10, 9...

Eight seconds!

7, 6, 5,

4...

Subtitling by CNST, Montreal