Original subtitles

[***]

GIRL: Do you think if you could, like, go back

and start high school over knowing everything you know now

about, like, high school, would you?

GIRL 2: No.

GIRL 1: I think I'd do it over.

GIRL 2: Really?

GIRL 1: I'd do sort of the same things,

just different.

[CHEERING]

MAN [ON SPEAKER]: New game.

I was doing so well!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay.

[WOMAN SINGING IN JAPANESE OVER SPEAKER]

I live with my mom and my dad.

Um, I spend a week with my dad, then a week with my mom,

and then I just switch.

So I was in sixth grade, and it was,

like, halfway through the year,

and we'd always watch Avatar the last day together.

So my dad paused it, and was like,

"so me and your mom are getting divorced."

As, like, casual as possible.

So I thought he was kidding.

We all thought that he was kidding,

and then he was like, "no."

LENA: Daddy? Hey.

I was wondering-- I'm going to go to a concert with Ginger.

Is that okay?

No, it's not-- It's a teenage concert.

It's not like a huge concert. It's a small concert.

With bands from my school playing.

Can I be home at 12:30?

Okay. I'll be home at 12.

I don't actually go out often at all,

because I have debate tournaments on weekends

all the time, so I haven't had a life forever.

So in the spring, I go overboard.

Not overboard, but in the spring,

I'm just like, "yes! I can do things on weekends!"

Okay, I'll be right back.

So you got the weed? Yeah.

Oh, good lord. How much did you take?

What happened was, I sat in his computer chair,

and I was like, "let me just tie my shoe, Dad."

So while I was tying the shoe, I slowly swiveled to the left

more and more and more,

and I just grabbed it.

Hey!

I have a little brother. He's...

WOMAN: Over at a friend's house.

Over at a friend's house right now.

This is my lovely room. It's small and teeny and not messy.

Are you sure? I feel like Rafael didn't want me to come.

Why would you think that?

Because he sounded like, "oh, Lena's coming?"

Why would he invite me and not you?

Because... He's closer to you.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean he wants me at his party.

They could dislike me.

But then they must dislike me if they dislike you.

No, that's not true. Yes, we're different people.

I'm just gonna text him and ask him.

Oh, my God, you suck.

It doesn't hurt you. It does.

If he says I can't come, then I don't want to be there.

No, please, Lena. That'd be more uncomfortable.

No cat eye!

This is a lot of makeup. I really like it on you.

I really don't like this much makeup.

Please.

I'm petrified of getting old.

I can't stand the idea that someday, someone will tell me,

you look a bit old for that outfit.

Or those kind of comments.

It terrifies me. I don't want to age.

I think that's the scariest thing in the entire world.

I'm not really in a clique, I don't think.

I guess, if I was in one, it'd be, like, my lunch table group.

I don't know. It can be annoying

because they just don't hang out with anyone else.

It's their friend group. It's not like they have to.

But I've hung out with them individually.

But then when I ask them to hang out,

they're like, "oh, I'm hanging out with my group."

Then become part of the group.

I don't want to be part of their group.

Then I can't hang out with anyone else.

Then just deal with it.

No, I'd rather hang out with a lot of people

than just one group.

It's sort of what parties you go to,

you end up in those cliques.

DUSTY: There's popular kids who don't go to parties.

Not really. In freshman year.

In freshman year because freshman don't go to parties.

I look good in your glasses.

They match your brown hair. [SCOFFS]

So I think this will be awesome, hopefully.

A beautiful cabinet of alcohol.

[PHONE RINGS]

LENA: Olivia?

All right, I'm buzzing you in.

GIRL: We're not allowed to sleep over.

GIRL 2: Why? GIRL 1: ...convince your mother.

GIRL 2: Your mom is actually the coolest person ever.

GIRL 3: Hey, anyone know how to sew?

GIRL 4: Not even a little bit.

[CHATTERING]

GIRL 2: Also in the fridge.

More soda, hummus. Um, we have more chips.

LENA: So the first part is just, like, my friends,

and then after that is just sort of open to people

who are normal and sane, who are my friends' friends.

And hopefully, one of them will bring someone attractive.

GIRL: Yeah, I think the dress will be done.

[LAUGHS] [PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Hey. That's fine.

Everyone's late except for the people helping set up. Bye.

GIRL: Whoa.

[CHATTERING]

Ginger!

Thank you guys for helping. I do love you.

Keep the champagne in the bucket.

[VACUUM WHIRRING]

[CHATTERING]

[STOVE IGNITER CLICKING]

GIRL: There was a group of boys that was like, 15, right?

They literally just kept giving us weed.

What they did is just like roll up four...

and they just kept passing it. You'd take a hit,

and then, just be like, oh!

GIRL: So people left at like, 11:30, 12.

The last part, there weren't that many people left.

LENA: After our party, either my therapist, or the neighbors,

or somebody called ACS.

WOMAN: What's ACS? Children's services.

Protective services.

Somebody called, they came by Monday or Tuesday

and they said, "we hear there is going to be a party here

for teenagers, with alcohol, unmonitored."

And since I'm the adult, everybody yelled at me.

You know, minors alone with alcohol,

and, you know, I understand that, I really do.

I just, um... that's all.

So tomorrow's the first day of junior year.

And...

I'm not ready to go back.

There's all this panic and everybody's texting one another,

and freaking out about what they're going to wear,

and everybody's sending pictures.

You know, "do any of these work?"

And she sent, one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven pictures.

And she looks beautiful in all of them. Like...

I think it's going to be different for you,

not having your sister in school with you.

'Cause it's just going to be you

that everybody's basing their opinion off of.

Which is going to be kind of nice, don't you think?

I don't know. That's how I feel about Neil not being there.

I mean, it's weird to start school

without having her start school, 'cause, like,

we've always been at the same schools pretty much.

DELIA: But not having him at home, not having him in the room over,

like, is gonna be very weird.

Yeah, I don't have that problem,

since Ginger's not going to college,

and doesn't really have a job.

[LAUGHING] I like those sunglasses.

Thanks. I found them in, like, a toy box in the desert.

I thought you were going to say in a dumpster.

I think Dusty's going to be the first to get a boyfriend.

I doubt that. Mm.

Probably Delia.

No, but you, like, talk to people.

So do you. Not really.

I talk to people I'm friends with.

Yeah, but you're friends with all these boys who like you.

Nah-- Who are, like, attracted to you.

I don't think so.

But...

[LAUGHS]

What? It's not uptown. Crown Heights?

Isn't that farther into Manhattan?

No, it's in Brooklyn.

That's Morningside Heights.

Um, Sunnyside. Some heights.

No, there's also a Crown Heights.

She's wrong. I'm not.

You can Google it.

GINGER: Ginger has never been caught drunk,

but Ginger has come home drunk multiple times.

She's been caught.

I haven't been caught. They've never actually caught me.

I had to call Ginger's mom from a party the other night.

But you didn't tell her I was drunk.

I said, "Ginger's feeling very, very, very tired."

Yes... Anyway.

Not okay. Don't touch my phone or call my parents ever again.

You okay, Ginger? No.

You were vomiting.

Who cares? Everyone vomits. It's a party.

Not everyone vomits.

Also, there's no other reason I would have been calling her.

"Ginger lost her phone." "Ginger's phone is dead."

So why wouldn't she just talk to you?

Then she would say, "can I talk to Ginger?"

You don't call my mom, full stop.

Everyone said, "call Ginger's mom."

You just pretend to. You don't actually.

I never actually called your parents when you were sick.

I called them for myself.

That's because you were crying

and forced us to give you the phone.

Because I'm responsible. Yeah.

For myself. No.

Regardless, I've never been actually caught.

[***]

LENA: My mom got laid off from work

just very recently.

I just moved in here with my dad like a few weeks ago.

It's really far away from everything.

A lot of things in this house don't work.

My brother had to go to a hospital

for a few days, and when he was signed in,

my dad was the one who signed him in.

He hasn't spoken to my dad since then

which has been really hard on my mom,

'cause now she only takes care of him.

Did you know that she was-- Have you told them

that she was declared negligent?

Yeah, but-- By Child Services.

But she shouldn't have been declared negligent

for Nathan not going to school, but--

It wasn't just school, though. But, I mean--

He wasn't getting the kind of psychiatric care he needed.

Well, he's going to Dr. Dickstein and Betty.

Now he is. Yeah.

And he was going to Betty-- Negligence!

Mom is not negligent.

Plus, they were going to declare you negligent,

but you just barely got out of it.

I didn't just barely get out of it.

I mean... You did, just barely--

No, I didn't just barely get out of it.

Okay, whatever. I guess it's not a big deal. But, um...

Well, it's a big deal to me.

Okay, fine. You weren't negligent.

A-ha!

I made a horrible mistake freshman year

and I took my dad's advice which was...

just sort of float from person to person

and don't make any close bonds, that way you're not trapped.

And, now, I'm just a floater, and it's not as fun.

And I wish I'd not taken his advice

and just made a ton of close friends.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey.

Inside. In the clear. All good.

You know, people assume you're stupid if you don't go.

It's like, "oh, she's not going to college."

She obviously isn't smart enough to get in,

or they assume you're broke and you can't afford it.

So I'm going to try just acting

and traveling, and...

Yeah, maybe when I'm older, maybe when I'm not still dumb,

I'll go.

And I can make more friends and I can meet people.

You know. School isn't the only way to make friends, I hope.

I did a school play in seventh grade.

And I really liked it, and I had fun,

and I liked being on stage, and I liked the attention.

That you could use your emotions

to control how someone else feels.

It's almost like a superpower.

Uh, this is my mom's room.

She has, like, a vision board.

And then, like, I always kind of knew she thinks

this painting is representative of her and my dad,

which is cute. It doesn't look like them,

but it's, like, them. Their essence.

WOMAN: Sage, I really want you to go to the prom,

because it's something you're going to remember

for the rest of your life.

SAGE: No, I don't want to go to prom,

because I've already been to prom once. It sucked.

You went to somebody else's prom.

SAGE: At our school!

But you weren't the prom person,

and these are people you've been with since kindergarten.

Okay, Sage, look in my purse, and get some money.

WOMAN: You're an 18-year-old...

SAGE: Oh, my God, I have so many chores.

I do so many chores.

If I plan on going out, I have to plan from 10 a.m.

so that I can get all my laundry done,

and, like, clean my room,

and, like, wash the dog.

It's just, like, a lot of stuff.

Then I have to get my mom's approval.

And then I get to leave.

WOMAN: I'm giving you $50 for other groceries.

Do you actually want me to grocery shop,

or do you just want me to get stuff that I want to eat.

How do I get it back?

"How am I gonna get it back here"? Are you kidding?

Mom, you're the one who gets it delivered back here.

All the time. I didn't just pull that out of nowhere.

Like, "I don't know how to carry things."

That's 'cause you always get it delivered,

so I wanna know what the number is for the delivery service.

Oh, my God.

You're making me so annoyed. WOMAN: Okay. Bye.

See you. SAGE: So annoyed.

Make sure you get some juice and some vegetables.

Bye. Bye. See you.

Bye.

Hi, Miss Drake.

I have a curfew. It's 12:00.

It's really early.

Ivy and, like, everyone, they just stay out until whenever.

I'm not allowed to do that.

My mom's black. She's not down.

She's Caribbean. She's from Jamaica.

She's, like, a single parent now,

so she gets really nervous when I go out.

You know the boy?

A little bit has happened since I last talked to you,

but not much. What? What's happened?

Nothing significant. We've just spent more time together.

Have you clarified your relationship status?

No. That's not a thing.

I mean, okay, it's a thing.

[WHISPERS] Have the talk.

I know that cliché, "it's not you, it's me."

Sometimes, I feel like that with him.

Like, it's my fault that things aren't working the right way,

because...

Because I can't make up my mind.

Ginger invited me to hang out before we were fighting.

I don't think I'm going to go, I think.

I feel like you and Ginger are always fighting,

just to varying degrees.

That's true. We are always fighting.

It's exhausting.

[SIGHS] Yeah.

It is.

We were talking about this earlier.

The more we see ourselves in others in ten years.

Yeah, it was fun.

It was a good list.

For a long time I thought I'd be a philosophy professor.

And for a long time before that, I thought I'd be an actor.

Before that, you thought you'd be the president,

and open a pie shop.

No, a bakery, and before that I thought I would be

a president/actress/baker,

and I would video chat with China.

But that was in sixth grade. But...

I feel like you're gonna end up somewhere no one expects you.

Things happen to you and you just say yes to them.

I feel that means you're going to be in some really cool place.

That's nice. That's one of the nicest things

anyone's ever said.

Well, people should say nicer things to you.

[LAUGHS]

There'll be no boys at Sarah Lawrence.

No. No. Not at all. No.

It's just true.

Yeah. It's okay. No, it's not.

I don't know. I wouldn't mind meeting someone

who I like right away.

Yeah. I guess I wouldn't mind that in the abstract.

I don't know what I like at all, though, so...

It probably wouldn't...

What you like, meaning...?

Anybody-- Like, what do I want?

I don't know.

LENA: Hi!

Hey! Nice to see you!

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

That's the boy.

[WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]

The point of the party

was there's this guy I've liked for a very, very long time.

So I thought if I got him drunk, and me drunk,

and the lighting was dim,

and maybe I'd just tell him I liked him

and he'd tell me that he liked me,

or that we'd go into my room, or something, and...

Just trying my very, very best to flirt with the boy I like.

And he was like, "oh, we need to talk, by the way."

And he's like, "I'm getting vibes you're flirting with me

"and that you've liked me for awhile,

and I just wanted to tell you I don't like you like that."

And I lied at first.

I said I didn't like him.

And it was funny, because I was very, very drunk,

and every time he said something

along the lines of "I don't like you," I...

I literally just felt like I was spinning,

and I was about to fall on the floor,

and he said he was sorry,

and that made it a little worse.

He said, "are you okay?"

And I just said, "yes, this is what life is."

I drank a little more after that too.

So I was really spinning, and really, really dizzy,

and I went to the other boy who was there,

and then I took him into my room,

and that was my first hookup, or kiss, really.

That was my first, really, kiss.

[SCOFFS]

I don't know. It was just supposed to....

It was supposed to be the other guy,

and it wasn't, and that's how things work.

It just was one of those things when you expect something

to be amazing and perfect and it's not.

[GIRLS SINGING] * And the cat's in the cradle

* And the silver spoon

* Little boy blue And the man in the moon *

* When you coming home Dad, I don't know when *

* Know we'll have A good time then, son *

* You know we'll have A good time then *

Sorry, we did order Thai.

Why? The Indian gets a little--

Oh, take it-- Take it inside.

Did you get some chai pancakes? What are chai pancakes?

What is that? That sounds delicious.

Lena was having a party,

'cause Lena wanted to hook up with a boy

that she liked. Sorry, are we sharing?

Um, so... [ALL LAUGH]

I said to Ginger, I said, "Ginger, be careful.

You're probably best off not drinking."

No, I said I was being your wingman for the night.

So we didn't hear anything until about midnight,

when Lena called up to explain how Ginger was passed out.

And had gotten drunk.

And they weren't sure what they should do with her.

Ginger insisted she wanted to come home,

but she couldn't sit up, apparently.

GINGER: She left me. She left me.

I got up and called a cab on my own, she left me.

LENA: No! Do you not remember?

I took your earring off, I literally tucked you in,

You threw a Mexican blanket over me, one blanket.

And my special sleeping bag!

I don't know the difference between tucking someone in

and putting a blanket on someone.

What? Nothing.

No! Nothing.

LENA: I'm sorry I left you. GINGER: It's fine.

I wouldn't have left you.

I-- Okay. GINGER: I wouldn't have.

I've never.

You've-- No, literally never left you.

Made sure your parents found you, or called them.

Right so, if I-- If you were asleep,

and I literally tucked you into my bed,

GINGER: I'd watch you. Okay, but we had watched you

for, like, two hours. GINGER: It's fine.

But apparently it's not fine, because you keep-- You...

bring it up in a really angry way.

So don't say it's fine, if it's not fine with you.

[KEVIN MOANS]

Dad, you can go upstairs.

I was just, like, talking to this guy,

who I, like, don't know at all,

but he's, like, widely regarded as, like,

very hot.

And I got, like, weird, and I was, like,

not like weird, but I was, like--

And I don't really get tripped up on that stuff,

like, I really don't. Maybe it's a crush.

But it's not, 'cause I don't know him.

Well, you can have a crush on someone you don't know.

Nah, but it's not like that, it's, like,

it's not, like, fun like that, it was just more like:

[GAGGING]

DELIA: I have another really close friend who met a guy

outside of school and they had sex,

and there's just, like-- Who?

No! Not... Huh? [INAUDIBLE]

No, no, no. Who? Somebody I know?

Yeah, yeah.

Wait, who goes to La Guardia? Yeah!

In our drama class?

Yeah, I think you know this.

Not in our drama class. No, I don't.

In Kay's...

S? Yes!

DUSTY: I hate the whole, like, losing your virginity.

DELIA: Yeah, I think it's really fucked up.

DUSTY: I know, but it's, like, the first time, like,

that's gonna be a memory that sticks,

but I also don't want to let other experiences pass me by

because I was waiting for the right one.

DELIA: The right guy. DUSTY: But not the right person,

but, like, the right experience.

I think the first time is always gonna be bad,

'cause it's awkward and you don't know what you're doing,

and it's just, like, uncomfortable.

But, like, isn't sex supposed to be fun?

Isn't that the whole fucking point?

Yeah, but I think it may take a little bit.

Oh, yeah, 'cause, like, everybody tells you

you're too young to be having it.

So, like-- Or they tell you,

"Oh, you haven't had it yet? Like, wow."

So it's both like a "fuck you," and like a pressure.

But then, there's also, like--

Like, when did it become, like, a thing that was so much more

accepted as something that people did, like, casually?

You know what I mean? I don't think it is complete

yet, in our grade. I don't either.

But...yeah. But senior yet, it totally is.

I always thought it would, sort of,

more be like, I...

knew some people like randomly,

and then, like, I'd know some friends, and then...

Hopefully, not too far after that,

I'd know myself. [BOTH LAUGH]

I don't know, do you think you'll, like,

love someone before you're out of high school?

Um... Or do you think you have?

OLIVIA: I've noticed the girls that I'm around, I guess.

Everyone sort of notices everyone.

It's, you know, automatically assumed

that I liked boys.

And I never told anyone otherwise.

It took a long time for it to even occur to me

that I could like girls.

It just slowly dawned on me

that this was gonna be something I have to deal with

for the rest of my life.

And, you know, maybe someday it'll make me happy.

So about my parents...

I just don't ever see myself--

At least, where I'm at right now,

I don't see myself having a conversation

with them about this.

Feels too personal.

And I don't have it figured out enough

to tell them one thing or another.

Um...

And I will tell them someday, but when it matters.

You know, when I have a girl that I want to bring home

or something like that. Right now, it doesn't matter.

I'm excited to go to college.

I want to move out.

[CHUCKLES]

I wanna be a little more...

away.

KEVIN: Never wanted kids, never liked kids.

Were you mad when you found out she was pregnant?

Scared.

Scared. Selfish.

GINGER: Did you wish that you had a boy?

No.

Never wanted a boy. You like having kids now?

Yeah, once you have them, they're great fun.

You get to have another go 'round.

Hopefully, do it right, was the plan.

GINGER: Oh, I see.

Our parents got it a bit wrong with us.

What did they get wrong? What did they do?

They hit us a bit more than they should have

and they didn't tell us they liked us as much as they should.

It's not like you do much better with the liking.

I'm not a hundred percent on this big 180.

I think that there's a lack of gumption

that your privileged upbringing's given you.

KEVIN: You getting tattoos?

At some point, maybe. Why?

If I have something I feel strongly enough about

to get a tattoo. Nothing is worth

tattooing on you.

SAGE: I know a girl with the 2-1-2 tattooed on her

right here. Are you serious?

GIRL: That's so not cute. Another girl got a tattoo

in Braille, but it's not raised.

It's just dots. GIRL 1: No!

I love this city so much.

Also, I don't think I could, like, drive everywhere.

Like, I just don't think that's gonna be a part of my life.

And delis. Delis.

GIRL 2: We were with Ivy, last night.

We've been friends with her since, like, freshman year.

SAGE: She was an upper classman in my, um,

writing and thinking class

and I remember seeing her and thinking,

"oh, she's like so cool, like, my life is gonna suck!"

SAGE: Hey, Ivy. IVY: Hi.

MAN: How you doing? SAGE: I'm good.

You got mad food, you got lemons, you got bread.

GABRIEL: You have so many eggs. GIRL 3: Yeah, I don't know why.

Gabriel, wanna make us some eggs?

[ALL LAUGH] [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Can I wash my hair before you cut it?

Do you think--? Okay, great. Yeah.

[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

SAGE: It's so long, Ivy.

Oh, my God. IVY: Yeah, I know.

I need just, like, an inch off or two.

[***]

SAGE: When you're little, you don't want to think

that you're a lot different than everyone else,

but once you kind of mature and get into high school,

I feel, like, it's important to embrace your differences.

There's just so many

weird things that come along with being a teenage feminist,

because-- 'Cause no one

wants to listen to you.

Because you're a teenage girl and you know nothing,

and you like boy bands and you like pink,

and if you don't then you're gay,

and then if you do then you're a girly girl,

and you're stupid and you're an airhead.

Like, the teenage body is so over-sexualized,

the teenage female body especially.

People want to see you,

but they don't want to hear what you have to say.

[BLOWS]

I never wish. I always forget to.

DUSTY: I know it's, like, very,

I don't know, I kind of always wanted

to be a mom.

I don't know, I really love kids,

and I love the idea of...

making people.

You play such a role in who they become, and...

I feel, like, it must be so fulfilling, like,

to have them turn out to be, like, a functioning

human being who can do things, like,

you did that.

[***]

I don't know if I want to go to college yet.

If you don't go, you kind of just jump into the real world.

versus if you go to college,

you have four more years to try to

figure out what you want to be doing.

It's so stressed in high school,

and you're kind of told, if you don't go to college,

you're not gonna be able to get a job after.

and you're not gonna have a future.

And that's what some of my friends' parents

are telling them, like, if you don't go to college,

you're totally fucked, so...

I don't know if their parents are crazy,

or mine just don't understand

how important it is these days.

It's not cheap in New York, especially uptown.

KEVIN: You girls think I should give you more money

and give you more things, don't you?

More money? Yeah.

What about chores and tidying?

We have been ti-- Doing them.

You couldn't even finish that sentence.

I've told her to not to go college and bounce around

for a year or so.

Do some work, do some-- I told myself

not to go to college.

That's not entirely you. Okay, sure.

I just don't see you being able to move out,

because you don't have a job yet and you don't have money.

Fuck off, you condescending bitch.

That was condescending.

I mean, a little.

KEVIN [STAMMERS]: Don't make it your goal,

make your goal to-- My goal is to move out.

But also I'll go insane, watching Dusty and Lulu

still go to regular school and I'm not.

You know, it already gets a little bit uncomfortable

sometimes when people are talking about

the college acceptance thing.

DUSTY: It's not that simple, it's not just...

You can magically have money-- No, it's not that simple,

but it doesn't mean I'm not willing to try.

KEVIN: No, but, Ginge, you also don't have to move out.

I want to. [KEVIN STAMMERS]

I think it'll settle in this next year or so.

I think you'll find your true self.

Why? DUSTY: I think it's just--

KEVIN: Well, 'cause that's the whole point

of growing older, as you eventually figure out

what's fake about you and what's real

and hopefully move on with more of the real.

GINGER: I don't understand why you wouldn't want me

to be responsible. Because I love you,

and I enjoy your company, and I want some fun time with you.

Most of our teenage relationship has been you and me fighting.

I want to do the stuff where you're cool.

I don't want you to move out, I want fun and friendly years,

I want us to be best friends.

We were best friends when you were younger, and then...

we spent the last six years fighting.

LENA: I'm at college, and as opposed to

high school freshman Lena, who sat at tables by herself,

or, like, hid to the library or staircases,

I actually, like, went and was, like,

"Hi, can I sit at your table? I'm Lena."

And was-- I'm gonna say social.

I was very social, possibly normal, probably not.

Looking forward, socially, I want a boyfriend.

That's just-- I want that.

I don't know how to get one.

I don't know how people do this boyfriend nonsense.

So that's, uh, that's a real goal.

A dream.

[PHONE RINGS] Hey, Mom.

LENA'S MOM: Your dad just called me and said

"I heard there was an incident with Nathan at school.

I want to know what's going on."

[LENA'S MOM SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I don't know when they are or anything about it.

LENA: My dad and my brother are living together.

Dad's calling ACS on you? For what?

LENA: Mom is staying in different places.

She's been staying with some friends,

she was house-sitting for awhile.

She has a temp job that she's doing now.

No, no, it's-- I wanna fix it, whatever.

It has to be my problem.

LENA'S MOM: It has to be your problem?

You know what I mean.

Hold on, just a second...

Okay, here's Nathan.

Can you hear him? Nathan?

[NATHAN SPEAKS INAUDIBLY]

LENA: I was just trying to deal with Dad. I just mentioned--

They asked where you were and I said you were

having a hard time at school that day,

and that you were with Mom.

That's what I said, and so you're meeting with Mom.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mess anything up for you.

Nathan?

Nathan?

My mother doesn't have a home.

My father is worried about losing his home,

which means my brother will be homeless.

And that would be disastrous.

At this point, it's important for me

to worry more about school,

because, if I don't,

if I put myself in a position

where I'm not gonna be successful,

then ultimately it's just going to make the problem a lot worse.

DUSTY I'm glad I grew up in New York City.

I feel like in a lot of places, you don't, like,

go out in the same way.

'Cause here you can just take the train and go

and just, like, sit in a park all day, like,

you don't necessarily need, like, a plan.

In, like, some ways, I feel like you kind of doing, like,

more adult stuff at a younger age.

My older sister, Ginger, she's, like,

in some kind of purgatory.

Most of her friends are in college,

and now there's this group of kids

who are just all the leftovers, who didn't go.

Look, we're twins right now.

[***]

GINGER: I reconnected with a girl from middle school, named Ivy.

And she has a friend group, so I hang out with them

sometimes, like her boyfriend, and a bunch of people.

What time is it?

IVY: "Is it cool if I come around 9:30?"

Yes, my dear.

[CAP POPS] IVY: I mean,

he's making good money tonight, for sure.

They're having two costume contests.

And he's dressed up as a pirate,

and then he's changing into my vampire sister,

and then we're gonna fuckin' make out and shit,

it's gonna be great.

IVY: Well, I'm hopping into a taxi, I call you later, bye.

GINGER: Yeah, no, no, no. I'm not into that at all.

You wanna get me to Aster Place?

IVY: Are you coming down now? GINGER: What do you mean?

Like, when you get high. I know.

* Well you keep telling me

* It won't be long

* Well, that's not right And that's not wrong *

Hey, Ivy, let me in.

* Come on, talk to me baby

* And don't be so cold

[INAUDIBLE]

* Your kingdom comes From ashes *

LENA: I've written, like, three sentences,

of the letter to financial aid.

I just said,

my dad's not gonna pay for school anymore,

he can't afford it,

and my mom's not gonna pay for school,

because she's still looking for a house to live in.

So it would be great if you could give me more money.

And, um, I just don't really know what else to say.

LENA'S MOM: I think you need to talk about your dad's mental decline.

And I have to tell you that I tried to set that up for you

back when I was writing letters

by saying that I was concerned about your dad's mental health.

I don't know. Sometimes I feel like...

I'm too hard on him? I know.

It just seems that, to me,

there's something that seems so wrong there.

There's some kind of thing that's just not connected.

And I just worry that we're not catching the right things.

Okay.

If something catastrophic happens,

I don't want you to have to miss out on school.

And it sounds like such a great school for you.

Yes.

It is. You are correct. Um...

I just don't want that taken away from you, at all.

Yeah.

I think if we can get past this--

If we can get past this situation right now,

we might have some stability for a little while.

Well, I'm always worried about you.

What? Why are you worried about me?

You're a little crazy.

I'm a little crazy. Okay. But I love you.

I love you too.

Why do you think I'm a little crazy?

I don't know.

All right, we won't have to answer that right now.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[BIRD CHIRPING]

IVY: No. No.

Please shut up.

GINGER: Are you saying "pretty bird"?

Shut up. GINGER: Pretty bird!

[BIRD CONTINUES CHIRPING] IVY: I hate you.

Pretty bird.

IVY: He's really hot.

Yeah, he is. [BOTH LAUGH]

IVY: I mean, like, really fucking hot.

I mean, so why are you so hesitant to find "the one"?

Like, do you have anybody that you genuinely like?

Not at the moment, no. Don't you have, like a...

sexual need or something? Of course, yeah.

No, obvious--

No, I was thinking the other day that I would love to get laid.

[LAUGHS] There's so many boys,

I have literally-- When you're hanging out with me,

it's primarily boys. It is, which is nice,

but that's also why I wouldn't sleep with them.

I like platonic boy relationships,

like, they're fun to have. Yeah, but you have so many

that you could keep platonic.

And even just have one, or one and a half.

[BOTH LAUGH]

My dad's like, "I would rather you had sex

"on a bench, in the rain, in a park,

than bring a boy home to my house."

That sucks.

Is it really cold? It's cold, bring a jacket.

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

I have a bottle opener.

[LAUGHING]

[CHATTERING]

Let's go inward.

GINGER: Weed always fucks me up.

[***]

GINGER: When it gets cold out, and you aren't going back to school,

that's a really weird feeling.

LENA: I've wanted to have, like, pastel blue hair

for forever. And so, over spring break,

Ginger came up and we just sort of

impulsively decided to dye it.

It's not quite the color I want, but it's really close, like,

it's fun.

LENA: Ginger comes up to Sarah Lawrence a lot.

She has her own, like, people, that she hangs out with

that are not my friends, so she's up a lot.

I had actually cut myself for the first time

within the same four days as Ginger had, probably.

Without either of us knowing.

I had come home to this meeting

about what we were going to do with my brother,

right after my dad had been hospitalized

and he showed us his wrists

which were just, you know, like...

And I don't know if it was some sort of response

to the feelings of not knowing what to do,

a coping mechanism or some attempt to understand

or something like that.

But I-- Yeah, I cut myself right up on my wrist right here.

And...

And then I did it one other time

after that big fight my parents had.

[***]

I guess I get worried about Ginger

because we started at the same time,

and I've stopped.

My dad passed away two years ago

when I was 16. Yeah.

It happened in, like, ten minutes.

We were all at home, it was like 4 a.m.

I think he was feeling weird, and he went to the bathroom,

and then my mom heard him kind of just fall,

and then he started seizing and stuff.

She called my brother from downstairs,

then I called the ambulance,

but they couldn't, like, resuscitate him in time.

I definitely feel like I see him on the street, like, often.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]

It's always, like, on the train and stuff,

like, businessman or...

Like, right after it happened I'd have so many dreams,

and it would just be, like, he'd be there,

and, like, he wouldn't say anything,

but I would just, like, know it was him.

And then I'd wake up and, like, what was the scary part

about them is I just wouldn't know that it wasn't real.

So I'd, like, go to school and stuff,

like, go through an entire day,

but then I'd come home, and I'd be like,

"Where's my dad?

Usually he'd be home by now, or like--"

Like, usually the dog would be walked,

or usually the backyard wouldn't look like this.

But I didn't have a real, like, grip on reality at that point.

We were close. Like, we had this--

We had similar, like, ideologies.

And, like, he taught me about the news and politics,

and like-- He wasn't like a professor.

He just, like, knew so much

because he wanted to learn so much, and, like--

That's what I wanna be like.

No one has really touched this backyard.

Like, we've kind of tried,

but I think it makes my mom too sad.

My dad planted that tree.

It's like a dogwood.

And it was a lot smaller before.

Gabriel.

Wake up.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

IVY: Is that the cheddar milk?

Oh, my goodness. MAN: Right?

It's too sweet.

It's got, like, sweet peppers in it.

MAN: Yeah. Fuck off.

I wanna live with you so badly.

It would be very good. It would be very good.

It's all about money, though. That's the sad thing.

[SIGHS]

A lot of people have it, we don't,

but soon we will.

Soon we will.

Julia! JULIA: Aah!

We're-- I'm gonna-- MAN: Go that way.

I'm gonna come down right now. It's right here.

JULIA: Okay.

[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]

IVY: It's my birthday and Ginger just texted me.

"I hope you have a fantastic night. I'm sorry."

Thanks, Ginge.

[***]

GINGER: She doesn't like it.

DUSTY: I do.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

GINGER: She wants me to get a real job.

WOMAN: She thinks she doesn't have to do acting classes.

I do think I have to do acting classes.

When have I said I don't have to do acting classes?

WOMAN: About a million times. My God. That's not true.

You say, "I came out of acting school." Not that clean.

You're not gonna clean this up. Don't do that.

You're 18. You're not 11. MAN: Ginger, if she added up

all the days she's worked, she spent about--

Fourteen days you've been busy in the last six months.

This is not independence.

You say you wanna be an actress, say wanna be special, but--

I have been doing jobs... No, no, Ginge.

You only want greatness if it's delivered.

Ask your friends, ask anyone if they think you made an effort.

You had a big talk of how you're gonna leave school.

You didn't wanna go to college and do stuff.

You wanted to go straight into acting.

But you have not done a damn thing to make it happen.

WOMAN: No, don't-- Why are you being so insulted?

MAN: That's the problem with-- WOMAN: Don't get so insulted.

It's too easy right now.

You have a roof over your head and you're not paying rent.

Ginger, when you didn't end up going to college,

I said you shouldn't go to college

because you don't try hard enough.

You're lazy at the moment.

I'm not willing to invest money

in your make-believe life

unless you wanna try and make it a reality.

Don't act like it's been years.

WOMAN: It has been. He's not saying that. It's been a few months.

MAN: Ginger, you have been sitting around since you left school.

What I told you is every day when you wake up,

you need to put an hour into your acting,

an hour into getting work.

And you should learn how to become interesting.

Do all the things to make you interesting.

GINGER: You say it like I'm not interesting now.

MAN: You believe this is the peak.

All I've asked for is when I bring home something

I worked hard on for you to be, "That's good."

I don't think I'm fully formed, I don't think I'm fully grown,

but I hate hearing all the time from you,

"To become more interesting.

You're not interesting." You know how shitty that is?

WOMAN: No one's saying that. How about the fact that we've asked you

to do acting classes? We've asked you...

[***]

[GROANS]

I wanna go out with my friends.

I-- I love them, but, like...

[GROANS]

MOTHER: I bought myself a Longchamp.

Oh, yes, Mom.

I bought the Longchamp backpack.

That's nice, you buying yourself things.

Every now and then. Dad used to buy me everything,

so it's nice. You know, I try to keep his tradition.

Well, if you ever-- If I ever had money,

I would totally buy you some things.

If you ever had money you'd buy me stuff?

Well, first, I'd pay you back, and then I'd buy stuff.

Then you could buy me stuff. [LAUGHING]

I wanna talk about that weed pipe I found

in the bushes. Okay, you found it.

It's actually, like... I just didn't know what to do with it.

I'm not going to throw it out.

Why not? I threw it out.

I don't know, I said I'd give it back,

and I just never really gave it back,

but I left it in there. I forgot where I put it.

So why did the person give it to you in the first place?

I don't-- I don't know. I don't know.

I was really a little disappointed

that you let me believe it was your brother's.

And that was disappointing.

That was not cool of me, and I told him that too.

Okay. And he knows that.

And I appreciate that.

That I know that it wasn't cool.

I'm just saying that I need you to evaluate

why you didn't stand up and tell me the truth immediately.

That's something that you could just sit around and think about.

'Cause those decisions are rooted in your character,

and character is important to me.

I know you're concerned about me,

but I'm an adult.

You're not an adult. You're a young adult.

I mean, I'm legal, like, I'm--

You're legally an adult, but I-- Since I--

No-- We could cease and desist right here.

You're just turning it into something.

I think, you know, you should really question

how much of this stuff are they smoking

that they actually need like a utensil for it.

People don't hold it up and pay for it anymore?

If--

Can--? I'm not gonna talk-- Why are you laughing at me?

No, I'm not laughing at you.

It's just funny 'cause, like,

New York City private school,

like, I came out really good from that.

Like, I came out really good--

You get to say that you came out good?

How do you say to yourself, "I came out good"?

No, I-- Because I know people who didn't.

Like, I know friends who didn't,

and it's just, like, I don't know,

I feel like I came out really well.

Sage-- Too much.

No, stop, you can't laugh. It's just--

You're gonna have your ass handed to you.

I can't wait for college for you.

You can call me and cry all you want

because you think you're such a smart ass.

Oh, I can't wait till life hits you in the rump.

Quote.

Why do you think you're so funny?

I can't wait till you figure out

that you're not as smart as you think.

My God.

Okay, well, whatever.

OLIVIA: So I'm home for spring break and...

It's been snowing for most of the week

that I've been home.

None of my friends are home for spring break yet.

I think the thing about high school

is that you don't realize how tough it is

until you're out of it.

Because it's confusing and weird and scary,

and you think everybody else knows what they're doing,

and then you get out of it and you look back,

and you realize that you were really confused.

Six months ago, I was...

scared of a lot of stuff.

Um, and six months later, I've...

figured a lot out.

But I don't regret the, like, time in between, you know?

[***]

I think I was worried that if I came out

that was all I would ever be to anybody.

There is a person who, um...

I've had sort of feelings for for a long time.

She came up to me in the library and she sat next to me.

She said, "Olivia, we're gonna be a great friends one day."

And we were never gonna be just friends.

Hi, guys.

LENA: I asked Ginger to give me some space at college.

Are you good? Yeah. I'm always good.

No, you're not, but...

Um...

You don't have to be. That's all.

Stop. What?

I'm sorry that-- You know, but I...

That I wish this was the last time you'd come up this year,

but I just don't get enough homework done.

No, you have to get your work done.

Yeah.

LENA: It's been nice having you here so many weekends.

It's not annoying?

No, it's not annoying. You don't annoy me.

It only annoys me when you ask me if you're annoying me.

Like, that's it. That's the only annoying thing.

GINGER: Bye, baby. LENA: Bye.

You promise you'll call me. Yes. Don't worry.

All right.

I'll miss you. You too.

GINGER: It's definitely a fear

that your friends are all gonna move on, you know?

Because they have college and they have new friends,

and you're scared that...

you're just gonna be a high school friend.

Just being a little bit low.

[***]

It kind of feels like I'm depressed.

Lena really wants me to go see a therapist.

She was threatening to tell my mom something if I didn't...

[TRAIN CHIMES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING OVER PHONE]

LENA: I wanna help. I don't know how to help.

I don't know how to help.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING OVER PHONE]

My dad is, um...

He just told my mom that he didn't know

if he was gonna make it.

You know, he's been saying it for a while, the end is coming.

He says if he loses his apartment

he won't speak to me again.

Said he'd disappear.

He made it sound like he'd kill himself.

He tried to kill himself.

It's just like-- It's-- It's...

It's-- There's...

It just sort of sometimes feels like the ending of the story.

Like, you know, there's a movie, there's a story.

It starts with me being upset

because my parents are separated,

and that they fight all the time.

Suddenly, Child Services is coming,

and they're gonna take away Nathan.

And then my mother loses her job

and my dad just lost his job. And then she gets addicted,

and then my dad's about to get addicted, and then that's--

It just sort of feels like that's where it's been going

the whole time.

I think it'll work out.

It has to work out.

GINGER: We are auditioning for a toothbrush,

toothpaste thing. They want sibling pairs.

WOMAN: The reason to go there--

So you don't actually wanna have dinner as a family.

You just wanted to do it

so you could try and push me into doing that.

WOMAN: Yeah, I was very clear about that.

I wanted to go there to see

if they will be able to give you a job.

Now you know the reason to go.

GINGER: Can we just eat somewhere else?

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

GINGER: I do. I just don't wanna work there.

It's not like you're spending that much money on me.

I don't why you feel so, like--

Well, Ginger, you still need to get a job.

Dusty, is it any of your business? No.

Yes, it is.

How is it your business? It is.

No, it's not. How does it affect you?

Because I have to deal with you.

You don't deal with me.

What the fuck does that mean?

No, what-- What part of me does she think she deals with?

Maybe you'd be less of a bitch if you had a job.

I would still be a bitch to you because you're annoying.

WOMAN: That's nice. I'm gonna go get my headphones

so I can ignore her on the way to the station.

DUSTY: Don't worry, I already have mine packed.

Fine, I take it back. GINGER: Are you my mom?

Is it any of your business?

Bye, Dusty.

DUSTY: I don't know where we're fucking going, Ginge.

[SIGHS]

[***]

What do you think you'd be doing that'd be so much better?

You think you're that much more adept.

I think that there's a lot more that you could've been doing

that you haven't been.

I've been doing shit. It's not fair to say that.

Are you saying you've done everything you could've done?

No, Dusty, but I'm saying it's not your business

what I haven't or have done.

Why can't you just be my sister?

WOMAN: Did you go to sleep?

LENA: For, like, two hours.

It was always-- Yeah, two hours.

Do you ever get those dreams where you don't know

if you dreamt it or if it was real?

Oh, my God! All the time.

I fucking hate it. [CHUCKLING]

Yeah.

And then sometimes I can't tell

if I thought something or if it happened.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You think of a conversation in your head?

Yeah, you run it in your head, and you're like--

Yeah. And then I'm, like,

"Did that happen or did it--?"

Was it a head conversation?

MAN: Yeah.

LENA: I think he knows I like him.

I mean, I think he's really cute.

We hang out alone a lot.

A lot.

I just like listening to him talk.

And that's cool 'cause...

Like, I don't know, he just gets a lot of my concerns,

and he knows what's going on with my family,

and, like, he gets it.

WOMAN: Yeah. MAN: Why don't you--?

No, please don't tell me.

Can I read it out loud?

"Hey, I'm leaving Saturday.

"I have an interest of being sexually intimate with you.

"If you are interested in my, let me know

because I would love to get on that bandwagon." Heh.

I accidentally sent a series of thumbs up to him.

And the results of the series of thumbs up,

that Facebook sent on its own without my permission

was that message.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

WOMAN: You know that he-- He's gonna see

that you've read it now, though?

Yes. The problem is--

Okay, so--

Fuck.

This wagon's ready to roll.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

* Let's get physical Physical *

* Let's talk about sex

BOTH: * Baby Let's talk about you and me *

[CHUCKLES]

DUSTY: Our friend made a chart of everyone who's hooked up.

And then, like, it's very

extensive at this point. DELIA: Extensive. It's funny.

She should, like, contact everyone on it and fact-check.

DELIA: Yeah. But people will deny.

Do you like that you're connected

somehow to your brother?

Ooh, that makes me feel really weird.

You're connected somehow to Ginger, so...

Yeah, well, we're all connected. It's okay.

You and I are connected.

True.

No, I feel like a lot would change

if I was closer with Ginger.

It would be nice to just have, like, a friend that...

like, lived in my house and I could hang out with, and--

DELIA: Ginger always seems like the world is against her.

Like, it always seems like she feels that way.

Maybe it is.

I think she just got a little bit stuck this year.

DELIA: I bet it was hard. At a place.

Yeah, because she just jumped into the real world.

There wasn't a segue.

She had to make a lot of moves and decisions.

And she kind of just didn't know which direction to go

or how to get there.

I feel like I'm not old enough to be 17.

I thought I'd be more comfortable

in my own skin.

I don't think I am as grown up as I should be.

I just feel like I need a little bit more time.

[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

How much money did you make in tips yesterday?

GABRIEL: Uh, $70.

And, uh...

Plus, like, $25 in cash.

All right, that's not bad.

I brought my Slayer shirt.

My Slayer shirt? My Slayer shirt.

Dude, I bought that Slayer shirt in seventh grade.

Whoo... It's so cool.

[IVY CONTINUES WHOOPING]

It's my Slayer shirt now. GABRIEL: It is yours.

IVY: The Jersey Shore.

MAN: Why don't this fucker go around me?

Yeah, why don't you go around me? Please.

[IVY CHUCKLES] I'm sorry. Oh.

Without parking.

...be here, finally. Took us fucking forever

to get here. We-- Yeah.

We should have been here, like, four hours ago, but it's cool.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN: Dance. Dance.

[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

IVY: Game plan is work really hard this summer, have money,

move out as soon as you have enough money.

This is the summer of grind.

It doesn't matter.

People work hard all over the world

from a much younger age, and they're doing it for,

you know, a lot less than what I have.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

I picked a mustard one.

Whatever.

[***]

I used to go to school right over there.

I don't really have, like, a name for this period yet.

This is like my launch point.

This is, like, where I'm, like, building the rocket.

Gonna... boom.

WOMAN: Thank you.

WOMAN: Argh. I haven't eaten today.

WOMAN: You haven't eaten?

So your dad has rent for the month of May.

I haven't able to get in touch with him.

He won't answer my calls. He won't?

Anyway, so it brings up whether you're gonna stay

with your dad until I can-- He said I couldn't.

He said you couldn't? Did he say why?

He said I have to pay rent.

WOMAN: Hmm. LENA: Know what would be fun?

I know I-- We probably couldn't do it, and it's just whimsical,

but I have friends all over the country

that would let me stay with them for a little bit.

And I could get, you know...

Must be nice, you know.

I've worked every summer since I was 14.

I don't know, I wanna get to see places

and just be there for the sake of being there.

WOMAN: Maybe one more year. LENA: Why?

WOMAN: Because maybe one more year,

and I'll have a little bit more security,

you'll have a little bit more security.

But right now, if something happened to you,

and you needed money, nobody could rescue you.

LENA: I'd be fine. I mean, like, I'd be fine.

[WOMAN LAUGHING] I don't know, I just...

I never get to go anywhere.

WOMAN: So I won't have much left after this paycheck here.

LENA: When are you getting paid?

LENA: Tomorrow. WOMAN: Tomorrow.

WOMAN: As far as I know. Unless something goes wrong.

I think it should all go okay.

I'll get you a phone and come up this weekend.

And we'll have lunch at that sushi--

At that Thai place, that was-- With the great noodles.

Okay. Would that be good?

Yeah. I still have a lot of work.

Okay. And it's Mother's Day.

Yeah, right. Yeah. [CHUCKLING]

We can do that for Mother's Day. I'll bring you a phone.

Yes, bring me a present on Mother's Day.

[CHUCKLING] Sounds excellent.

Okay. All right. Okay. I like it.

I forgot to tell you, I'm pregnant, so...

Oh. You've neglected having a--

You're not serious, are you? No.

LENA: Bye, Mommy.

WOMAN: I love you so much.

You are so special.

SAGE: I'm just lucky that I didn't go to a school

with like literally all white people.

Like, I'm glad I was not the only person.

But at the same time, like, is that enough?

Heh. And like...

I just had this concept of diversity,

as, like, a few kids of color

scattered in, like, a room,

not talking about, like, where they really came from.

And then I went to public school,

and I, like, saw real diversity,

and like how the majority doesn't mean white.

And like...

It just-- It kind of, like, blew my mind.

Even being middle class or upper middle class,

like, going to a private school, you feel like you're dirt poor.

And that is the weirdest thing ever.

'Cause, like, I have so much nice stuff.

And, like, I live in a really nice house.

And, like, you just--

I completely did not understand that.

I accepted my scholarship at Howard.

It's just, like, such a change in environment.

Like... I think it's gonna be interesting,

It's gonna change my perspective on a lot of things.

And I think that's gonna be really good. That'll be good.

I just won't have to, like, hold my breath.

That's what everyone says. That--

Like, everyone who goes to predominantly white school

and then goes to Howard, like--

It felt, like, they were, like,

letting out, like, a deep breath

they didn't know they were holding.

[***]

OLIVIA: I thought you were way cooler than me.

What's that?

OLIVIA: I knew you were way cooler than me.

You came up next to me and sat down and said,

"We're gonna be great friends." And my heart exploded.

[LAUGHING]

I totally remember that.

And I just, like, looked at you,

and you were watching a surfing video.

I was like, "Surfing?"

[LAUGHING]

We're gonna be great friends.

You didn't tell me your name, and I didn't know what it was.

[LAUGHING] Did I not? No way.

OLIVIA: So we were awkward for like four or five months.

And I told you I didn't wanna mess anything up.

GIRL: Yes. OLIVIA: And...

I asked if I could kiss you, and you said yes.

Which is the dorkiest way to do it.

I felt like it was-- Like the entire world

was gonna end or change drastically.

Mm.

And then I finally came out

and no one cared that much.

I feel, like, still up till, like, recently, like, I'm...

Like, I guess I am still, like, open.

It's just-- You don't have to be one thing.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm just with you,

and that's fine. Yeah.

The only time I've ever, ever talked to my mom

about sex openly was when I was scared I was pregnant.

That was it.

Why didn't you just get a pregnancy test?

I was scared to buy a pregnancy test too.

Scared to be judged by the cashier.

Yes. Scared to actually be pregnant. I was like,

"If I don't get tested, there's no way I'm pregnant."

Any boys?

Not for awhile. Why not?

Just hasn't been anyone I'd want to sleep with.

I mean, guy-wise.

What's the furthest you've ever gone with a guy?

You can use bases if you don't wanna use details.

This is uncomfortable.

Can I just opt out? You can't opt out.

I'll talk about like-- No.

There are certain things.

You're open with Mom and Dad... This is important.

That's because you pretend you're like Margot Tenenbaum.

DUSTY: I don't pretend I'm fucking Margot Tenenbaum.

GINGER: You do. Like, "You don't know anything about me."

DUSTY: Okay, you always pull that with me.

"Stop pretending you know who I am, Dusty."

GINGER: To you. But I'm more open with Mom and Dad than you.

What's the furthest you're ever gone with a guy?

I don't know the bases.

DUSTY: I just wanna forever be like a child,

never had sex, never done drugs, never drunk.

I just, like, don't...

You don't want them to ever know you're a person?

I just don't want to be viewed that way by them.

I think it's weird. As a functioning human being?

They can assume, and I can assume.

We just don't have to talk about it.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

LENA: Been hooking up with anyone?

GINGER: Yeah, I have.

Um... A really good friend of mine.

Like one of your best friends, right?

Kind of, yeah.

Someone's in an almost relationship.

It's not a relationship. A comradeship?

That's what you're calling it? Comradeship.

Calling it comradeship.

LENA: Do you have mustard, by any chance?

WOMAN: Mustard? LENA: Great. Thank you.

Did you open it? Yeah. A tiny hole.

Aw.

LENA: But you're more than just hooking up,

and like more than just friends, right?

GINGER: I mean, it's odd, because it's got an expiration date.

No matter what.

Whatever it is, it's good right now.

That's nice.

Aw.

What are doing this summer? Possibly just working.

Sucks, but it's good, right?

Yeah, it is good.

Job, comrade. All is good in life.

Damn, girl. A job and a comrade.

Are you excited to travel this summer?

Yeah. I'm so excited.

I'm like-- I can't wait.

Willem said I could stay with him in San Francisco.

Nice. Yeah, he's cool.

I'm really happy we're friends.

Like, he's really a good friend. Yeah? Friends?

Friends. Comrades?

Friends. Comrades.

Friends. You sure he's not a comrade?

Good friend.

How do you feel about him?

GINGER: I've known her since my freshman year of high school, actually.

At some point over winter, I kind of realized I liked her.

So I started scheming, 'cause I'm a schemer.

Like, what can I do

that will still seem like a friendship thing,

but could also be a date

and she doesn't have to realize it,

that I'm tricking her into a--? Like, a borderline date.

And so I was like, "Ice skating."

Because I knew that I could hold her hand,

'cause she'd fall over a lot, so...

It was a great scheme for getting her to hold my hand.

And then we just, like, hung out a lot, and, like,

it just sort of gradually became...

friends who date.

Not friends. Girlfriends.

I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her.

Actually, I'm not pretty sure. I know.

[***]

She's moving to Canada for school.

Ideally, like, "yes, let's make it work,"

but, realistically, I'm probably

not the type of person that could do that for very long.

'Cause you want your friends to be happy.

'cause they're going on adventures. At the same time

you're like, "Wait, take me."

It makes me less unhappy that they're going places

because I think I'm going places too.

Okay.

That's that.

Going to Port Authority.

Gonna take the 3:15 a.m. bus to Columbus, Ohio.

And then I'm gonna see my friend from college.

I'll stay there for a week.

Then I'll take a train or a bus to Colorado.

Then I'll go to Seattle for six weeks,

then hopefully California.

I really love this city.

I was at the Metropolitan Museum

with all my friends,

and, you know, we were on acid,

but we were there, we were in the Greek stuff.

We all held hands and ran through

all the old European bedrooms, and--

And then I suddenly really wanted to go

to where I was as a kid,

into the Egyptian section, and we all--

We went into the Temple of Dendur,

and I looked at all the hieroglyphics and--

And I just realized

that something that was so everyday for people...

All of that kind of stuff

was in the Met now. All of it was art.

[SIREN WAILING]

All of it was meaningful and important, and then--

When I'm frustrated,

when I feel like nothing is meaningful,

I tend to look inwards and think about myself.

And I realize that that was completely

the wrong thing to do.

Even if everything goes sort of terribly

in my life and--

You know, I don't make anything great.

At least there's the world around me to just look at.

And see.

I don't know. It's hard to put it in a way that isn't clichéd.

It doesn't make it seem silly, but it's not silly.

It's not.

I don't know.

I'm scared I'll never see Ginger again, you know.

WOMAN: Yeah.

When you're a kid, you're so obsessed with, like--

I was so obsessed with, like, the age

that you become a big kid.

It's like, "I'm 8 now. I'm a big kid.

I'm 10. I'm really a big kid."

And then, like, 11, you're like, "I'm a preteen."

At 13, you're a teenager.

And then, like, 16, you're like,

"I can drive in some places."

Seventeen, you can see R-rated movies,

and 18 you can vote. Nineteen, there's nothing.

Twenty, you're in your 20s,

Twenty-one, you can drink.

And at 25, they say your brain is fully developed

and you can, uh, get a-- Get a Zipcar, so...

I guess that's that.

Stand there. It'll be a pretty-- I don't--

Just stand there.

Just for two seconds and then I'm done.

God.

It's so pretty.

DUSTY: We're only 17. It's like,

"What do you want to do for the rest of your life?"

DELIA: I'm like, "Oh, wait, I have no idea."

DUSTY: Like, "Oh, wait, yeah, the next, like, 60 years.

Let me figure that out."

Eighty.

No.

If you're gonna live--

Ninety-five. Ninety-seven.

Think you're gonna live to 97?

I hope to.

Ninety-seven, that's the goal.

DUSTY: It would be nice if there's something after.

[***]

[HUMMING]

[EX HEX'S "OUTRO" PLAYING]

* Take care, don't beware

* Follow the sound

* I've been up I've been down *

* I've been around

* I follow The silver stream *

* Of what I can't forget

* I wait for worlds That haven't happened yet *

* Take care, don't beware

* Follow the sound

* I've been up I've been down *

* I've been around

* We lay beside our minds

* And watched The time grow *

* There was nothing Left to find *

* And nothing left to know