Original subtitles

It just seems like a funny place to make a funeral arrangement.

Well, I guess she'll inherit everything he owned.

Why did I have to hear about this on the news?

Don't feel bad. Could happen to anybody.

You'll make another two million the first year.

It's also my problem to find somebody...

... who might even have the motive to kill Mr. Wagner.

You're looking for something?

Columbo, I'm gonna throw you out of here, on your rear.

I mean, you missed the best part.

Hello everybody, from Los Angeles,

the jam-packed Coliseum on a brilliant, sunshiny day.

Welcome to professional football...

And oh, what a game this is going to be, ladies and gentlemen.

Both teams have finished their warm-ups,

Both coaches have finalized their game plans,

And yours truly and our old buddy, that old linebacker Virgil Tower...

... Is here with all the action.

It's the final meeting of the season,

Between the local Rockets and our powerful Pioneers.

Good afternoon, Mr.Hanlon.

It's Jimmy, isn't it? You shoulcTve called the office.

I won't be having any people this afternoon.

Oh, well, I thought maybe Mr. Wagner might be bringing by some people.

Well, you're new in the organization, kid.

Eric Wagner owns the team, but football is not his game.

Well, would you like a drink, sir?

Well, let's see, there's uh... tomato juice in the icebox?

Yes, sir.

Okay, why don't you get yourself an empty seat,

or take your girl to the movies or something.

I won't need you at all this afternoon.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Hanlon.

Right.

There's plenty of ice in there, sir.

Okay, you scoot now.

Yes, sir.

Uh, lock that one on the way out, huh?

Yes, sir.

Looks like somebody is planning to march right on into that scoreboard.

Let's listen to some music.

And say, you mentioned Dodge, now, there's quite a story...

... about that courageous young man,

His right leg's been broken four times...

Yeah.

Eric?

Eric, is that you?

Ahhh... I'm not sure.

Ooooh, what a night.

You're not still in bed? Of all the... At least you're alone, aren't you?

Um...

Yeah..., yeah. Oh, listen, Paul, I gotta tell you...

That... that chick that you've put me on to,

She brought her little sister along...

Well, will you... get yourself out of there,

And dunk yourself in some coffee,

And get out to the pool, you hear me?

Now, hold it, Hanlon, Til do whatever I want.

Kid, this is an emergency. I stopped by the travel agency,

And picked up our tickets.

We're on our way to Montreal at 6:30.

We're what?

If we move fast enough,

I can still pin down that hockey franchise for you.

I've been on the horn to the Canadians...

What am I gonna do with another sports franchise?

Anyway, hockey's for penguins.

You'll make another two million the first year, kid, I guarantee it.

Who needs it?

Look, let's put the money into something constructive.

Now look, you just get yourself out of there and haul it to the pool!

Get in and get a workout.

I don't want you day-dreaming when we get to Canada.

I need your signature, kid.

Hey, look, hold it Hanlon.

I'm gonna fire you one of these days.

Next time you call me "kid", you've had it.

My son, this isn't for me, I just work here.

It's for your dad, remember?

Biggest sports empire in the world.

That's all he ever dreamed of.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Paul, I don't need to hear that again.

All right. 6:30. I'll be ready.

What's all that noise? Oh you're at the game.

Sure kid, I'm minding your store as usual. I'll talk to you later.

Yeah. Bye.

Yeah.

/ want Rizzo.

This is me. This is Rizzo, Paul.

One sign that, hey, he's looking...

... another game's just about read to start.

I've got eyes, Rizzo, I want you up here at halftime.

Oh yeah? Why?

I don't like your game plan, that's why.

I may make some changes. In the 2nd half.

You may make some changes?

Listen, Paul. Come on, we settled all this last night.

Last night's last night. Today, we've got to win! This one!

All right.

But I'm not going to start Laden if that's what's you're getting at.

Now, you know what the doc said, his bad knees...

I don't care about his knees. What do you think of that?

And I'm going with the long game!

Use the long game, if you have to as long as it works!

Listen Paul, who the...

I mean, what do you mean, calling me up like this?

Right by before the kickoff...

Rizzo, I'll call you anytime I feel like it. And get this straight.

If you can't make up your mind on 3rd down,

You call me on the field phone.

I'll make your decisions.

Oh, yes, sir. Mr. Hanlon sir, Mr.Paul Hanlon, yes sir. You...

Who the...

Here.

What's this for?

Shove it up the field telephone!

Huh.

... and there they were, their backs against the wall...

... on their own 47 yard line.

That's what happened.

Thank you, Virg, for a brilliant analysis, but that was last time.

Today is another Sunday, fans. Today all holds are barred.

Today we '11 find out who's really the best in this division.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

From the Coliseum in Los Angeles, our national anthem.

Two weeks ago he made that beautiful game-saving tackle...

On Murdoch in the last five seconds...

To put these Rockets right where they are today.

And here we go, Jefferson approaching the ball...

... goes right and then cuts back to the left, but Pioneers are on him...

And down he goes under a whole host of white shirts.

It'll be first and ten for the Rockets on their own,

Let's make it the 28-yard line.

Did you notice how fast old Billy Murphy got down there, Tom?

/ sure did. He's one of the best on those special teams.

Yeah, we'll be watching him a lot this afternoon,

Along with Sam Dusky, 14 tackles, 10 assists last week for the fans.

All right, they're out of the huddle, Senovich is wide,

First play of the game, fans, 38-yard line.

... from that rush and down he goes, back at the 33-yard line.

You know, it, it didn't even look like...

He was looking for a receiver. To you, Tom?

Loss of 5 yards, 2nd down 15.

Jones over the ball, Dunkle barks them out.

Snapped to old number 11. This one's going to be a pass...

Intercepted by number 33, and uh-oh, he's long gone down the right sideline.

35, 30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5, touchdown!

Mason has him, and Saxon. They bury him!

Four Pioneers all over him this time. So back to...

Willy. Listen, I placed an order for that juice 20 minutes ago.

Yeah, I need reviving, man.

All right, hey, hey!

Stick in a couple of little half-pints, will you, for, uh...travel size, all right?

Drops back, Rockets need to get on the scoreboard,

It's in the air, and Maslovsky, number 25, he's to the 35,

And he's tackled at the 38.

Sanders at quarterback now, drops back...

Rockets need to get on the scoreboard,

It's in the air, and they wrestle for it, neither one gets it.

Ball bounces off out into the end zone.

Might be interference, and it is! They 're on the 2-yard line.

Hello.

Yeah, Eric, it's Paul again.

What's the matter? You afraid I'd fall back asleep?

No. Hey kid, I'm sorry. I was a little hard on you.

Just called to see if you wanted me to pick you up,

There's no sense in taking two cars to the airport.

Well, you're our leader.

What are you doing now? Playing right tackle?

Oh, I got the radio on here in the box. I guess it's a little loud.

Yeah. So how are my gladiators doing?

They're getting murdered. Listen, is your head clear, yet?

Oh, clear as mud.

I'm out by the pool now.

But are you in it, yet?

Will 20 more laps satisfy you? I told you I'd be ready, didn't I?

Now get off my back, Hanlon!

Pick me up at 5:30. You got that?

Hey mister! Stop, I want an ice cream! Please stop!

Mister, stop!!

Paul...

How did you get here?

What are you doing wearing that...

Pioneers' ball, hands off to "Old Faithful", number 44, Billy Tyram,

And there's a big 63 coming up, and they 're both down...

... at the bottom of a pile.

There's not too much time left in this half.

Well, there's maybe time for a few more plays.

And here they come, Pioneers break out of the huddle.

Second and 7, defense is deep, they 're looking for the pass...

There's the count, ball handed off to Murchison, number 20...

Hold on, there's a fumble!

Time remains for the Rockets to make one more attempt...

... to get on that scoreboard before halftime.

It 'd be a great psychological boost.

Sanders again at quarterback, the ball is snapped.

Play-action fake straight up the middle.

Not enough. A great play, a great call, but it just didn't work.

This 1st half at the Coliseum of Los Angeles is over.

Well, as expected, fans, a great first half of football, and its usual...

... spectacle down on the playing field here at halftime,

The bands, all the great colors, these youngsters marching. . .

All right, Mr.Hanlon.

... Coliseum at Los Angeles certainly enjoying themselves,

And they're buzzing about that first half.

Paul?

Look at that little girl down there, uh, if we can get a camera on her...

Uh... take a look at that! Boy, she's a pretty one. Tom?

Listen, uh, Virg, uh, you've got an eye for the ladies, we all know that.

Coach?

Yeah.

There's nobody answering your field phone. I've been trying to reach you.

Yes, I know.

So, we're trailing by a few points.

I'm still not going to take a chance...

... putting Laden in there with his bad knees.

Okay, Rizzo. Let's skip the whole thing.

I had a couple of plays would've been working better than yours.

Oh, yeah?

But I can't do everybody's job and I know it.

I'll stick to what we agreed on last night: you run your team.

Good.

I got bigger fish to fry.

Rockets' ball. Break huddle. New ball game, fans, this half,

And the Rockets are moving again.

Here's the count, Yodel in motion, Miller wide left, snap, Duran sky...

Takes the hand-off, oh, a great haul off...

Over here, Lieutenant.

... breaks another tackle, twists away, and here comes Chance, got him down...

... at the 45 yard line.

In fact, I don't think he quite made it, uh, for that 1st down, did he, Virg?

Well, it was a pretty fast whistle there...

They've been waiting for you by the pool.

All right here's the play. 2nd down Rockets, 3 yards to go.

Rockets break huddle... hand-off to Phelps, drives straight ahead...

Wait a minute. Fumbles!

Ah... I just want to hear the end of that play. I just got here, Sergeant.

Sir, the Deputy Coroner is all ready to leave.

He needs your okay to remove the body.

Ugh, Sunday afternoon.

This shouldn't take you long, Lieutenant.

I hope not. What happened here anyway?

The decedent's name is Wagner. Owns this place.

A delivery boy from the liquor store found him floating...

... in the pool at 2:50 p.m. Fished him out,

Yelled to neighbor for help, they couldn't revive him,

Called the police the big panic.

Lieutenant, I've got some guests waiting for me at home.

Oh, sorry, Doc. I got here as fast as I could.

Where were you, at the golf course?

Well no, my wife went bowling...

... and I was sort of testing out this new hammock listening to the game,

Then I ran into this Sunday...

Yeah. Well, uh, you wanna take a look?

You said somebody was in a big panic?

The neighbor.

What did you say, the neighbor?

The neighbor.

Saw some blood over here. Severe concussion. Do you see that?

Did he make it?

Uh, what time do you think this thing happened, Doc?

Oh, he's been dead about an hour now. Let's put it around... 2:30.

Okay? We're going now?

Listen, Doc, I kind of...

... He's no prize for 1, 2 and they 're untangling now. Pretty good game...

Ah, I kind of like to know a little bit more about what happened here.

Why? It's a false alarm, Lieutenant.

Well, how do you know that?

Well, look over there from the water that splashed on the decking,

He must have been diving, he slipped on that board,

And that contusion would have knocked him unconscious.

All right, boys.

How do you know that happened on the board?

I mean, there's water up around the steps, too.

The board, the steps, the bottom of the pool.

What difference does it make?

He was knocked out and he was drowned, that's all.

I've seen it a dozen times.

... that's another big 3rd coming up, though...

You're gonna work... do an autopsy, aren't you?

We have to Lieutenant, it's routine. Remember?

Or maybe you've forgotten.

I think he may be right, Lieutenant.

Detective there in the house says the same thing.

Well, as long as I'm here, I'd better see anybody who's in there.

There isn't anybody, Lieutenant.

Except maybe the delivery boy and the neighbor.

Y'mean, in a house like this, there are no servants?

Couldn't find any.

Send the detective up.

Yes, sir.

Officer, is there a gardener?

Wagner had a party last night, Lieutenant.

I'm Sergeant Clemens, sir.

What was that, a party?

A pretty good one too, I guess.

You see, the neighbors said Wagner's wife is out of town someplace.

So, maybe Wagner let the servants go for a while, and...

You know what I mean?

You've read about Eric Wagner, haven't you?

Eric? You mean the one whose father used to own the football?

You mean that's who this was?

The kid still owned it, I think.

Paul Hanlon. You must have heard of him.

He's a general manager or something.

Yeah !

I was just listening to the game!

Sir, I'd like to release the delivery boy, you know, and the neighbor?

No.

I mean... yes. As soon as you get their statements.

But I want a full team out here. I want prints and pictures,

the whole inside of the house. Oh, and the diving board,

And the pool coping all around. Your name is Clemens?

I'll leave you in charge of that. Til be in touch.

Oh, yes, sir. But where are you going, sir?

To the football game.

Wide left this time, a hand off the Ramsey again,

Blockers in front of him, 5 yards across the 40,

The 35 and he's down on the 31 yard line.

Well, with that hold of penalty, of course,

they're still way short of the 1st down...

But here comes that talented Tod from Sweden.

Yes, here comes Spencer, the men's love'em,

4th down his club needs 3 points, 3 points to tie...

It's a private box, mister.

Well, I knocked. You are Mr.Paul Hanlon, aren't you?

I've seen your pictures in the newspaper.

I'm busy now.

Tied up!

Who are you? What do you want?

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo, sir, L.A. P. D.

Police?

I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, Mr. Hanlon.

And since we can't locate Mrs. Wagner...

Well, Eric Wagner was found dead...

... a little while ago in the swimming pool.

Eric?

Sorry, sir.

Oh, no, no. Ugh. I just talked to him.

You did?

Yeah, about a couple of hours ago, I guess.

I called up from here before the game.

Then I called him again a little time later.

We were supposed to fly to Montreal tonight at 6:30.

I mean, I don't get this.

Eric was by the pool. He was alone as far as I could tell.

And he's a terrific swimmer.

Oh, this looks like a typical accident, sir,

There was this bump on his head.

Anyway, we're trying to locate his wife.

And there were no servants in the house.

There weren't?

No, sir.

And it's my understanding at least from the newspapers...

... that you're like one of their family.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay, Lieutenant. Til come right over.

Shirley's in Acapulco, she went down there about a week ago...

... some kind of charity function.

I'll contact her.

I'll talk to her. Myself. Thank you.

Don't worry sir, I won't bother with any questions just yet.

Nor you either for that matter.

What questions?

Oh, well.

Looks like Mr.Wagner had some kind of a party out there last night.

I don't think that's any concern of yours, Lieutenant,

... any more than it is mine.

And you've done your duty, that's enough, ain't it?

Well, I do kind of wonder about the pool service.

By any chance you don't happen to know...

... whether they come to the Wagner house on Sundays?

I don't know of any pool service who works on Sunday at all. Why?

Oh there was just this water around the pool decking.

Well, that's normal for there to be water around the pool ain't there?

Yes, sir. But not fresh water. No chlorine in it.

So, his death was an accident,

There must some simple explanation.

Well, that's why I said it "looked" like an accident, sir,

Because if someone had used the hose around there,

Like... to maybe hide something,

Or make it look like Mr. Wagner was diving.

Well, that's my problem, sir.

I sure don't wanna bother you with that now.

Coach Rizzo?

Coach Rizzo?

Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr. Rizzo.

I'm the coach Rizzo. Yeah. Who are you?

Got a minute?

Yeah, sure, what can I do for you?

My name is Lieutenant Columbo. I've got some bad news for you, sir.

Eric Wagner drowned this afternoon. In his pool. By the house.

Eric... huh?

Yeah.

Oh...

Oh no, Eric. Oh, that poor boy.

Sorry to bring you such a bad news, sir.

Huh?

Like everybody that reads the sports page, I was aware...

... that you were very close to Eric's father when the man was alive.

So I figured you wanted to know.

Yes. That child... that poor boy.

Never did anything right as you know, I mean,

According to his father's standards.

The old man always wanted him to be big time quarterback,

Professional, touchdown, blah blah. See what happens.

The poor kid winds up as the would-be half-baked swinger type.

Maybe you could fill me in there, sir.

I couldn't help noticing his name pop up...

... in some of the scandal columns now and then.

Was there anything that I...?

Now, come on, Lieutenant.

The kid sow the couple of wild oats, like anybody. It's...

Well, why do you ask me all these questions?

Well, I happen to be from Homicide.

Homicide? You just said the boy drowned in the pool.

Oh, just routine, sir. We investigate everything.

Actually I would ask Mr.Hanlon some of these questions,

But he's a very busy man, and excitable fellow.

Yes, very busy and excitable,

Since one of these days, dive for that bomb shell.

What did you say, sir?

I'm sorry, Lieutenant, that was a bad joke, I...

I suppose it's his privilege sometimes to...

You mean Mr.Hanlon was sort of upset today?

Yeah, yeah, you could say he was sort of upset.

He called me up on the field from the owner's box,

You know, up on top of the stadium...

...just before the game was about to start,

Chewed me out something I ought to do.

So, halftime I scooted up there,

Was gonna give him a piece of my mind. I get up there and...

Well, you know, it was all right. Everything seemed to be just fine.

Gee, I didn't think we did that good during the 1st half. Oh, no offense.

Ah, I wanted to ask you a question about Mr. Hanlon.

I read some of the publicity.

Now, he's very new here with you the Rockets, isn't he?

No, not that. Not really. He was a PR man first when he came.

You know, the public relations?

And then about two years ago when Mr.Wagner died,

Well, Eric didn't know anything about running the board clubs,

So we got Hanlon come in and take over, run the business for him.

So Hanlon just stepped in?

No. No, he didn't "just step in".

Don't go getting any bright ideas, Lieutenant, will you?

Look, maybe I'm not the biggest fan of Paul Hanlon.

But let me tell you this.

He's one of the sharpest shrewdest general managers in this business.

Put this club on its fame, got another basketball franchise,

Built a couple of stadiums, he made the kid a couple of million dollars,

And they were the best of friends.

Really?

Yeah. Really and that goes for...

... just about everybody else around here, too.

What do you mean by that, sir?

What I mean is; you're wasting your time.

Look I grant you I don't say Eric was the greatest in many things,

But he was a... Well, he was an all right kid.

I don't know anybody, anybody in the whole world...

... that would want to see him dead.

He's been so busy. No, he hasn't talked to anyone all day.

No, sir, the funeral arrangements aren't being announced just yet.

Yes, Mr.Hanlon will make an announcement...

... when it's appropriate. Thank you, sir.

Just leave it there, right there. That's fine.

Oh, do I have to sign?

Wagner residence. Hold a moment, please.

I was looking for the housekeeper.

Oh, I'm afraid she's busy with Mr. Hanlon.

She just got here herself, and she's quite upset, so I don't think...

Well, I'm Walter Cunnell. I was Eric Wagner's lawyer.

I was his father's attorney and best friend for about 40 years.

Please, sir. I am sorry.

You see, I'm new in the office and well... I replaced Miss Babcock,

And she was only there for a couple of days,

So I really haven't got everybody's name straight yet...

Oh, now now, that's nothing to worry about. That's all right.

Oh, that's fine. Right over there.

But... whose office?

Pardon?

The office that you're new in. Whose office is that?

Oh, Mr. HanlorTs.

Mr. Hanlon. Oh.

You can go now. Thank you.

Oh, no, I just helped him carry it in...

I'm out from the police. Lieutenant Columbo.

Oh... Wagner residence. Hold please.

Well, Mr.Hanlon said...

... he just wouldn't be able to see you for a while, sir, so...

No problem. I don't mind waiting.

Lieutenant. What are you doing here?

Well, actually, sir, we've had a little trouble locating Mrs.Wagner.

We've checked all the hotels in Acapulco.

Is that so far?

Of course Shirley is a bit of a whirling dervish...

... on every committee there. Fairly social.

Ah, sir.

Yes?

You don't mind if I asked you a personal question, do you?

No.

What did you pay for those shoes?

I think about... $60.

I stepped into some water yesterday, I ruined mine.

You don't know where I could get a pair that looks like that...

... for around 16 or 17?

16 or 17? Sorry, I don't. Really, Lieutenant.

Thank you.

Walter I didn't know you were here.

You shoulcTve come on into the study.

I didn't want to disturb you. Paul.

I thought you might be privately negotiating or something.

Ah, this doesn't seem to be the time or the place...

... to hear bad grimaces between you and me, Walter.

Why didn't call me this afternoon?

Why did I have to hear about this on the news?

I really wasn't sure you were back from Washington.

Wagner residence.

What? Oh, it's you again, Miss Rokoczy.

Well, wait a minute.

Walter, you shouldn't get yourself into an uproar.

You know it's bad for your ulcer.

Where's Shirley?

She's on her way. I've spoken to her.

Look, I know this must be very unpleasant for you, so...

Sir, it's a Miss Rokoczy.

I can't take any calls now, honey.

She says it's quite...

I told you no calls today. I don't have time.

Not till tomorrow. Got it?

Well, Miss Rokoczy, he says he just can't talk to you until...

Walter, you will have to excuse me now. That's all there is to it.

There's nothing that's left to be done that needs to be done.

Shirley will be back tomorrow, and that's it.

Lieutenant, it's for you.

I left this number. Excuse me.

Lieutenant Columbo.

Not a thing, huh?

Well what about the autopsy?

I see. Thank you very much.

Lieutenant, if you need me,

I'll be back in my apartment in about two hours.

I'm gonna finish the funeral arrangement.

Well, I did want to ask you, sir.

You don't mind if I bring another lab crew in here...

... first thing in the morning? Kind of recheck everything?

No, whatever you want. So long, Walter.

Sure knows how to take charge, doesn't he?

Lieutenant. What is all this? Autopsy, lab crews?

Well, just part of our routine murder investigation, sir.

Excuse me.

Murder?

Will Mr. David North, please report to the trans-global ticket counter?

Will Mr. David North, please report to the trans-global ticket counter?

Miss Rene Rudolph, please go to the nearest red courtesy telephone.

Miss Rene Rudolph, please go to the nearest red courtesy telephone.

Can't talk to you now. Bye.

Columbo! What are you doing? You following me?

Well, sir, it just seems like a funny place to make a funeral arrangement.

You know, you sort of caught me by surprise back there.

I mean, making that telephone call...

... right after you told the girl back at the house...

... that you didn't have time to talk to anybody.

That's why I was on the phone.

I was calling off a meeting at Montreal for tomorrow.

I forgot about it earlier. I don't know why.

Well, you have to be terribly upset by everything that's happened.

I can understand that.

Anyway, when you turned up at the airport, and actually...

All right! Lieutenant.

I am meeting Mrs.Wagner's plane in just a few minutes.

You know, I kind of thought that's what it might be.

I just couldn't figure out how she could have gotten here so soon.

I mean, all the way from Acapulco. You see, we checked the airlines...

I chartered a special flight for her.

Boy! You really know how to get things done.

Sorry, Lieutenant, I couldn't tell you about it back at the house,

Not with all those...

The last thing in the world that Shirley needs now is any of that...

... bleeding heart sympathy from Walter Cunnell.

I can appreciate that, sir.

I don't want any of that newspaper people after her either.

Not till she's had a good night's sleep.

I understand, sir. You could be a big help to me, sir,

If you just filled me in with certain details.

Do you think you could do that?

Well if you can be brief, Lieutenant.

I'll certainly try, sir.

I want to be delicate about this but...

I have wondered about the kind of marriage that the Wagners had.

I mean in the light of the kind of party...

... that Eric threw there last night.

Ahh, Mr.Columbo. That boy was like a kid brother to me.

But I couldn't straighten him out.

He was a baby who just never grew up.

Shirley understood about that, in better part of the year I guess.

She was way out of his class. They both knew.

They knew. Both of them.

But unfortunately, she could never bring herself to break off with him.

Sounds like quite a woman.

She is.

Ah, you don't happen to know...

Well, I guess she'll inherit everything he owned, wouldn't she?

What the hell is this? Exactly. Why follow me?

It's just that things are happening so fast, sir,

And I thought maybe you'd want to be brought up to date.

Like that autopsy report. I just got it on the phone.

Incidentally you never asked me about that. I thought you would.

I guess it slipped your mind.

No, it didn't slip my mind. It was nothing to ask about,

Because there was nothing new, was there?

No, sir. There wasn't.

Lieutenant, you're gonna find this was an accidental death.

And if God forbid, it's anything else.

Then it was one of those crazy hippie girls he was mixed up with.

You see, that was another thing I wanted to tell you about, sir.

We located every girl that was at that party.

They were no leads there at all. Nothing.

So it looks to me like we're just gonna have to look to someone else.

What does that mean?

Well, you see, we turned up a neighbor's kid...

... who's reported seeing a "DiNG-A-LiNG ICE CREAM" truck...

... in the area around 2:30.

That's just about when Mr.Wagner would have died.

I don't... So? What?

So, I have to thank my wife for one 'cause she's mad at everybody.

She's even mad at the ice cream man.

"Why does the ice cream truck have to come just before lunch,"

"just before dinner, ruining the child's appetite?"

I have to listen to that. I hear that three times a week.

You know that's twelve times a month. Well, anyway, listen.

I called the "DiNG-A-LiNG ICE CREAM" company.

Turns out they don't have the route before lunch,

They don't have one before dinner, they don't have one at 2:30.

They don't even work in that area. So I'd say, what I call a "loose end",

And it's something I gotta tie up.

Well, I wish you luck.

And the other thing, sir. I hope you're not offended by this.

I have to find somebody who will substantiate your story...

... that you were in your box at the football game.

No, Lieutenant, I'm not offended. That's your job.

Everybody is a suspect. Isn't that true?

Thank you very much. I'm very happy to hear you say that.

Ah, gee, I thought Mr.Rizzo could do it for us, you know,

But it turns out that he says he didn't speak to you...

... even once on the field phone during that whole awful 1st half.

And then you weren't even angry...

Columbo I told you I called Eric from the box just before the game,

I called him again from the box, about the end of the 1st quarter.

Unfortunately the telephone company's records can't prove that.

But that's not my problem, is it?

No, sir. That's my problem.

It's also my problem to find somebody...

... who might even have the motive to kill Mr. Wagner.

Paul!

Yes.

Oh, Paul.

I'm sorry. I've just been holding it in.

Lieutenant, she's going to be at home.

You won't bother her, will you?

You're looking for something?

Hold it right there! Just raise your hands up.

Now wait a minute, officer. This isn't what it looks like!

It's all right. He won't have a gun. Just get his wallet.

Thank you, sir.

Don't thank me. Thank that radio over there, huh?

Well, what do you know! License and everything.

Of course, I've got a license. My name is Ralph Dobbs.

What do you mean "radio"?

Well, let me show you. Don't feel bad. Could happen to anybody.

You see, some of these bugs have frequency leakage.

If you don't put them in right, it affects the other electrical systems.

That's what happened to you.

Well, take it easy, will you? Those things are expensive.

Sorry, it won't happen again.

Anyway, you put it in wrong, that's all.

When you used the telephone, it effected the radio.

I noticed the static.

But don't feel bad. I didn't know anything about this myself.

Till I had trouble on my TV when my wife used the hair dryer.

So the electrician explained to me. Do you find this boring?

And tell me who told you to take out those bugs.

Oh, come on, will you? Business is bad enough to...

Answer the lieutenant! That's why we caught you in the act of doing!

All right, it's all right, Sergeant. I've got a pretty good idea...

... who might have wanted Eric Wagner spied on.

I also remember who I told about coming in here with a lab crew.

Paul Hanlon, right?

Come on, Lieutenant,

You know my client's name is privileged information.

Now I have a perfect right to keep his identity a secret.

I've got a perfect right to arrest you for breaking and entering.

Not to mention illegal wire tapping.

So for the sake of that license of yours Mr.Dobbs, who hired you?

You know, you've put me on a spot?

I can't give you his name without his permission.

Well I'm not worried. Since I can call you an accessory to a murder.

I know you're gonna help me out,

You're gonna get me that information.

Six seasons? Where did you spend most of the time?

Mid-west and East, and during the summer, we spent in Europe.

Where did you get those shoes?

Norton Wilship.

Mr. Hanlon! Mr. Hanlon.

What?

Telephone!

Oh, right, cut it over here, guys.

Yes. Yeah.

Did what? Who let them in?

No, I want that watchman fired!

You get in touch with my attorneys and get them to meet me over here.

I wanna see them at...

Oh... no, cancel that. Til have to call you back.

What is this? My office tells me this morning someone came in there...

... before the dawn with a search warrant.

We didn't touch anything. Honestly, I promise.

You want some more shots of both of you?

No, no not now.

Finish the interview with Marc and then wrap it up, you guys.

You know, I didn't expect to find you here.

I had some trouble locating you,

Because I didn't know that you were at a basketball game, you know,

The day after Mr.Wagner is dead.

Not a game!

It's just some pros who live around here who like to work out together,

That's all.

Oh, these are professionals?

Yes, these are professionals.

That's LeRoy Ellis, Pat Riley, Happy Hairston, Jim McMillan,

That's Keith Ericson, Flynn Robinson.

In about two weeks all're gonna be working for me.

Marc was the first one to sign,

I had to come over here to get his signature,

Because he's gonna be gone this afternoon! What are you up to?

That's what I came down here to explain, sir.

I mean I came down here to get you because...

... I made a real wrong guess last night.

I think you made a few.

No, I'm talking about the phones in Mr.Wagner's house.

What about 'em?

Mr. Hanlon. Those phones were bugged.

Bugged?

Yes, sir.

And I admit that for a while,

I thought you had something to do with it, so we checked your office,

And you know what? Your phones were bugged, too.

By the same equipment, and by the same man.

My phones?

Yes, sir. Bugged. Honestly, that's the only reason we went in there.

The other thing sir, is, I came down here to get you,

Because I thought you would like to meet the man...

... who hired the detective.

Yes, I'd like to meet him.

Apparently they've got tapes of all your conversations...

... for the past two weeks. Isn't that something?

Well, Walter, you actually hired a private detective?

I'm sorry Hanlon. That's all I can...

You're sorry!

I think maybe you will be, when I report you to the bar association...

For spying on your own client.

Lieutenant, young man there is my witness.

I'm voluntarily disclosing everything that...

... that I paid Dobbs to do.

And I'd personally sue you for invasion of privacy.

Gentlemen please. I know it's kind of irregular,

But Mrs.Wagner is waiting inside.

I told you to stay away from Mrs. Wagner!

I'm the one who's insistent.

And besides I dare know what Dobbs has in his tapes.

And I want everyone to hear everything. Understand?

But... Columbo? Are you in charge of this mess or not!

Sir... sir! I'm only trying to solve a murder and,

This gentleman was Mr.Wagner's lawyer,

And this seems all right with me. Why don't we proceed?

Mr.Hanlon! A moment.

What is it?

Bad news.

What?

You remember I definitely told about...

... the "DiNG-A-LiNG ICE CREAM" truck?

The "DiNG-A-LiNG ICE CREAM", Yes, you did.

Ah, I checked the main office and I've got it right here...

They told me when I originally called...

... what areas they service and, And I've got all these papers here...

Oh, here we are. And it turns out...

... that they're in Westwood, Hollywood, Downtown L.A.

Shows you how stupid I am,

It never occurred to me that Downtown L.A. ...

... included the concession at the stadium.

I don't understand.

Well, I'm sorry to say this, sir,

But this makes it even more important that...

... we find some way to substantiate your story...

... that you were at the stadium at the time of the crime.

Well, Lieutenant, you may be right. Let's go inside, shall we?

You're not still in bed. Of all that... At least you're alone, aren't you?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, listen, Paul, I gotta tell you...

That... that chick that you've put me on to,

She brought her little sister...

Stop it! Stop it right there.

Shirley, that's the very sort of thing that I suspected.

Paul Hanlon was egging Eric on...

He was just trying to make trouble between the two of you.

Walter. We have been listening to this for nearly three hours.

And that's the very first time...

... there's been a slightest suggestion of anything.

But he said "that little chick that you've put me on to, Paul".

Didn't you hear him? Shirley, that's why I came back from Washington.

That's the whole reason that I had Dobbs here.

I wanted evidence to prove to you and Eric,

Our Hanlon had been using him. Using you both...

Wait a minute. Just hold it a second.

I think I've got it.

It took me a minute to connect with the word "chick".

Eric said that you wanted a new maid.

Do you recall anything about that?

Well, he was trying to find you one, as a surprise before you got back.

And I put him on to the best employment agency...

... that I could find. And that's all. If he found some girl through that...

Yes. Of course. Will you please get this over with?

Certainly, ma'am.

... two cars to the airport.

Well, you're our leader.

What are you doing now? Playing the right tackle?

Oh, I got the radio on here in the box. I guess it's a little loud.

So how are my gladiators doing?

They're getting murdered. Listen, is your head clear yet?

Oh, clear as mud.

I'm out by the pool now.

But are you in it, yet?

Will 20 more laps satisfy you?

/ told you I'd be ready, didn't I?

Now get off my back, Hanlon! Pick me up at 5:30. Got that?

That's all there is to that, sir.

There's still a big pile of tapes in Mr. Hanlon's office phone.

Ah, Sergeant, do you happen to have the time that I made that call?

Oh.

The log on my pickup has it at 2:29.

Of course, if you want to check with the radio station,

They keep the record of those football broadcasts.

And Eric died at 2:30. You said.

Approximately.

Well, Walter, maybe I ought to thank you.

For at least you managed to prove where I was.

And I guess that's another "loose end" as you call it, tied up.

You see, Shirley, the lieutenant thinks, I imagined,

With Walter's help that I might have killed Eric.

I really don't know what to say to you, Walter.

That would tell you how contemptible I think you are.

But Shirley, you've got to believe me.

Y'know, I had these tapes made for your own sake.

Look, don't worry, Walter.

I already knew how jealous you were of Mr. Hanlon's influence.

Now just get out! All of you! Please leave!

Mrs. Wagner. Um... there's still a lot of investigating we have to...

Just go away!

Hello.

Hey, Eric, it's Paul again.

What's the matter? You're afraid I'd fall back asleep?

Lieutenant.

You wanted to see me?

Just a minute.

I'm listening to that thing, that's the last phone call.

A hundred times. Nothing!

Well, the last three days I've called your office at least a hundred times.

Listen, Lieutenant, about my license. I cannot live without it.

Didn't I give you that back?

No.

Okay, I'm sorry. Must have forgotten.

Doesn't that strike you funny?

A man's watching a football game, makes a telephone call,

Just when they call pass interference against his own team.

On the 2 yard line?

Yes, I suppose so.

Maybe it'll prove he wasn't really there.

In the meantime, I gotta have my equipment.

You see, that's my problem. I can't prove where Hanlon was.

That's why I'm listening to this.

Trying to hear a sound; something that doesn't belong there.

Maybe he made the phone call from some place else.

Have you ever think of that?

Some place where there was a radio broadcasting.

Background noises, boat whistles, dogs barking, things like that.

Just can't seem to...

Listen, will you go find yourself another suspect?

Oh, come on, Lieutenant, cut it out! I gotta have my equipment back.

Oh, listen, by the way,

How did you manage to plant those phone bugs in the first place?

I didn't.

Well, who did it?

Come on, Lieutenant, I would be betraying a trust. You'd ruin me.

I don't want to get anybody else in trouble.

All I can tell you, it wasn't by breaking and entering, okay?

It wasn't?

No.

Then how was it?

That's all I can tell you.

Oh. I understand.

Listen, about the equipment, I'm sorry to hold you up on it.

It's just that I have been preoccupied by this case.

What's it worth?

600 bucks.

A lot of money.

All right. I put a girl in Hanlon's office.

She ran an errand to Wagner's house. It's as simple as that.

A girl?

Yeah. A part time operator. I use her all of the time.

She likes it for a change.

She have a name?

Eve Babcock. That's all she did. She's not there anymore.

Why?

I don't know why. Hanlon fired her after three days.

Oh, a secretary.

Babcock. A secretary?

Well, that's not her usual line of work.

Lieutenant, my equipment!

Coming!

Hi, darling.

Miss Babcock?

Don't be so Cincinnati.

My name is Eve.

Don't be embarrassed. I've been expecting you.

You have?

Sure! Our mutual friend called and told me all about you.

He did?

Oh, I didn't expect that.

I bet you're starving. Are you starving?

We'll go to dinner at Chasen's.

Apartment 2B?

Yes!

Eve Babcock?

Will you relax please?

We'll go out to Luau for drinks, that'll be fun.

Then the Chasen's for dinner.

No, there's a mistake, ma'am. I haven't planned on dinner.

Oh, you haven't? All right. No dinner. It's all right.

It just woulcTve been nice to know, you know?

I mean, I planned up the whole evening.

I had no idea you were pressed for time.

I mean, Harry should have told me.

Who is Harry?

Harry Stevenson.

No, I got your name from uh...

... uh, from a Mr. Dobbs.

Ralph? Oh, wouldn't you know, oh, this is really silly.

Look honey, you should have called before you came up.

I'm busy. Now. Ah, what about tomorrow? No no, no not tomorrow.

Thursday. I'm free Thursday. Will that do?

Thursday.

Hello, darling.

Miss Babcock?

Eve. And you're Cincinnati, aren't you?

The broker's convention, right?

Uh, my name is Smith.

Okay, Smitty. Ah, Smitty, this is my cousin.

He was just leaving, weren't you, honey?

Well, yeah, how are you?

Fine.

Oh I know a lot of people in Cincinnati, oh yes.

Incidentally...

My name is Lieutenant Columbo,

I'm from the Los Angeles Police Department.

Uh, Miss Babcock about those stocks, Til call you.

Nice that to have met you, Lieutenant.

Don't ask me any questions. I'm calling my attorney.

Wait a minute.

No.

Instead of doing that, why don't you do yourself a favor?

Take this appointment book...

... and put it some place where I can't see it.

Don't call your attorney, 'cause I'm not here to hurt you.

Now put that away.

I'm investigating the death of Eric Wagner,

And I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions.

But why would you wanna ask me...

I already know you planted the phone bugs for Mr.Dobbs.

I'm not worried about that. This is what bothers me.

Why were you fired from that job after only three days?

Because, if you don't mind my noticing,

You'd be an ornament in any office.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Perhaps my typing was not good enough. Who knows?

I thought maybe you got offered a better job.

I really think you should go.

Or maybe somebody offered you more money than Dobbs could.

I mean, Mr.Hanlon, he doesn't miss much...

And he sure wouldn't miss you...

And I thought that maybe he noticed you planting those phone bugs,

And bought you off?

Hey wait. Look, stop this!

Eric Wagner's death was an accident, right? Was it not?

That's what all the newspapers have said.

You have absolutely no right to come in here...

... and start upsetting me asking me questions, insinuating things...

Miss Babcock, you're perfectly right. I was getting way ahead of myself.

And I know you wanna get something to eat,

So I'm gonna run along. Good night.

Good night.

You know. It just struck me...

You know when you got upset there...

... well, the tiniest little accent came out,

And you know, I've got a nephew who married a girl,

She's got this same kind of accent, she's also very pretty...

But she's Hungarian.

Do you have another name? Besides Babcock,

Something more Hungarian? Like "Rokoczy"? Miss Rokoczy?

But, just a thought. Enjoy your meal.

Well, good afternoon, sir. And where would you like to go today?

Home.

What?

To soak my feet. They're killing me. New pair of shoes.

Just exactly what is it that you wish, sir?

Mr.Paul Hanlon,

Did he make a reservation for Sunday for Montreal?

Oh, why do you ask?

I'm from the police. My name is Lieutenant Columbo.

Does Mr.Hanlon usually use this office...

... to make all his travel arrangements?

Yes, he does.

Well, would you check on it? The Sunday reservation?

I'll have to consult my files.

Is that the game at the Coliseum?

Yeah.

... football, 2nd down 7 on their own 24 yard line.

How long has it been around?

Just started.

You know, I had tickets for the game, didn't even use it, couldn't enjoy it.

Not till I find the answer; I can't think of anything else.

Boy, the number of times I've heard these guys voices...

... over and over and over... Still can't find it.

Yeah, well, sometimes things are difficult to find, you know.

You know what it's like? I can hold the half of something,

And you can't get a hold of the other half.

Yeah, right.

... Sanders at quarterback, he takes a snap, hands off,

It's that same play again, Kelly over right tackle, it works again,

Good for 5 solid, no, 6 yards to the 41 yard line.

Well, it's sure different from last week brother Tom,

These Rockets are moving today. Two field goals...

Mr. Hanlon?

Columbo. What is it?

Sure going great guys today, aren't we?

I'll tell the coach. Kind words from a loyal fan are very rare.

This "DiNG-A-LiNG ICE CREAM" concession, that's the best in town.

Don't ever change that.

All right, Columbo. Now, what do you want?

Ah... I've got something to show you, sir. It won't take long.

Oh, those shoes feel better! Boy!

They were giving me a lot of trouble earlier.

Columbo, I'm trying to watch this game! What is it?

You know you did the same thing the first time I came in here?

Last Sunday. I guess that's what started me wondering.

I did what?

You turned the radio down, but not quite off.

When I told you that Eric Wagner was dead. It's all right.

I do the same thing. You know, when I'm listening to the game,

My wife interrupts, I can't help myself. I wanna hear that game,

And I don't care how important the interruption.

Your wife has my sympathy.

However, when I told you about the fresh water on the decking,

When I told you that Eric Wagner might have been murdered,

You know what you did?

Turned the radio completely off.

Well, I thought I'd struck a chord or something.

No, Columbo, you struck out.

Now will you please go find somebody else to pester?

I won't take long, sir.

Actually I just came here to talk about Miss Rokoczy.

Who?

You know, Miss Babcock. That was the lady...

... who kept trying to call you at the house and then later on...

... you phoned her from the airport?

What are you talking about?

Well, you did try to call her, didn't you?

I mean, you wanted to tell her that... be quiet about something.

I don't even know anybody named Rock..., whatever it is.

Well, I spoke to her last night.

And you see, when I saw the type of the woman that she was,

It suddenly occurred to me why you were in such a hurry...

... to rush out of that house and get to an outside phone.

The only reason that could have been was because,

You already knew that the phones in that house were bugged.

You did know, didn't you?

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait...

You're not seriously expecting me to tell you anything now.

I don't expect you to admit anything, sir.

"Admit"?

But you see, when I saw the type of lady that she was,

And that she'd like to have her bread buttered on both sides,

Well, she practically admitted it.

I don't believe you! You're really something!

And I'm sure Miss Rokoczy is gonna do a lot more talking

When she knows that this was really a murder. And it really is, sir.

This is a murder case. There is no question about it.

Oh, look, you did it again.

I guess you just can't help yourself.

Columbo, I'm gonna throw you out of here, on your rear.

I wouldn't do that, sir. I mean, you missed the best part.

You see? I'm not finished. The point is this.

Ah...

You see? The point is this.

If you knew that house was bugged, then you also knew...

... that you could use those phones to set up your perfect alibi.

What you want to call an alibi is the truth.

Jesus, why can't you get that?

I knew I had to break that alibi.

They're on the 10, sir.

Oh, yeah, I knew until I've broken that alibi,

None of these other things would mean much. But now...

Look, they scored a touchdown.

"But now", what?

You don't mind listening to last week's game again, do you, sir?

Why?

Well, just by coincidence.

It happens to be exactly the same time...

... that you made that second phone call to Eric.

Number 45...

Here we go. Exactly 2:29.

Just a minute or two before he was murdered.

You know, I listened to this thing, I can't tell you how many times...

... over and over again,

Figuring maybe I'd hear something that shouldn't be there.

Some sound that shouldn't be there. An ambulance, the fire truck,

Or it could be in the phone booth, something...

But you didn't because it isn't there!

I made the call from this booth, from that phone!

Then it suddenly occurred to me. Wap. I had it backwards.

Maybe there was a sound that should be there... and wasn't.

Like what?

Something right in front of us.

What kind of sound?

Oh, Shhh!

I'm out by the pool now.

But are you in it, yet?

Will 20 more laps satisfy you?

/ told you I'd be ready, didn't I? Now get off my back Hanlon!

Pick me up at 5:30. Got that?