Original subtitles

MOM, YOU REMEMBER CALEB.

OH, OF COURSE.

HE'S THE ONLY GUY THAT REALLY GETS ME!

GETTING WHAT HE WANTS

IS PROBABLY CLOSER TO THE TRUTH.

TIM'S BEEN MILKING THIS BULLET WOUND

LIKE A DAIRY FARMER WITH TEN HANDS!

DO WE HAVE CHEDDAR CHEESE?

JUST IF WE DO.

YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE YOU'RE STAYING HERE, OKAY.

ARE YOU WORRIED

YOU'RE GONNA SULLY MY REPUTATION?

I'M WORRIED YOU'RE GONNA SULLY MINE.

THERE'S OBVIOUSLY NOTHING BETWEEN US,

SO THERE'S NOTHING TO EXPLAIN.

VAL: I HAVE TO HAVE SOME TESTS DONE.

MY DOCTOR'S PROBABLY JUST BEING OVERLY CAUTIOUS.

YOU, TY BORDEN, NO MATTER WHAT I DO,

I ALWAYS END UP WITH MORE QUESTIONS.

YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS YOU SAID LAST NIGHT

ABOUT YOUR STEPDAD?

WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME?

I NEVER TOLD ANYONE THAT STUFF BEFORE.

TIM: JACK!

HEY!

SURE DIDN'T TAKE YOU LONG TO TAKE ME UP ON MY OFFER.

A MAN GIVES YOU A GIFT OF FREE HAY,

YOU JUMP ON IT.

FREE? WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FREE?

YOU DID. YOUR MESSAGE.

AND I QUOTE: "JACK, YOU WANT SOME HAY?"

YEAH. I'VE GOT 200 TONS OF HAY

AND TWO LONGHORNS TO EAT IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T WANNA RUIN OUR RELATIONSHIP

OVER HUNDRED BUCK HAY.

SEVENTY-FIVE, OR I'M DUMPING IT BACK.

SEVENTY-FIVE?

IT IS A GIFT.

WHAT THE HECK...

(BALER WHIRS)

MRS. BELL: OH, THIS IS WONDERFUL, DEAR.

SUGARFOOT LOVED YOUR MUFFINS.

AND YOUR TIMING IS PERFECT...

BECAUSE I COULDN'T FIND MY READING GLASSES.

SPECIAL DELIVERY.

DID I WIN THE SWEEPSTAKES?

LOU: NOT EXACTLY. UH...

IT'S ABOUT SUGARFOOT.

FROM HUDSON COUNTY.

HUDSON DERBY?

NO. NOT THE DERBY, MRS. BELL.

THEY HAVEN'T RUN THAT IN YEARS.

NOT SINCE THE LAST TIME...

YOUR FATHER AND GRANDFATHER ALMOST KILLED EACH OTHER!

NOW, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT SUGARFOOT?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

WHY DON'T I MAKE A FEW CALLS,

TAKE CARE OF THIS FOR YOU?

SO APPARENTLY YOU NEED AT LEAST ONE HECTARE

IN ORDER TO KEEP LIVESTOCK ON YOUR PROPERTY,

ACCORDING TO THIS BYLAW.

UGH. BYLAWS.

(SIGHS) AND THE UPSHOT IS

THEY ARE THREATENING TO IMPOUND SUGARFOOT.

UNLESS WHAT?

THERE IS NO UNLESS.

AND AS FAR AS MRS. BELL WAS CONCERNED,

WE'RE HAVING A NICE CONVERSATION

ABOUT THE HUDSON DERBY.

THE HUDSON DERBY!

NOW THAT TAKES ME BACK.

WELL, I FINALLY FOUND MY DAMN CHEQUE BOOK.

I FIGURE THE PROSPECT OF BUYING HAY FROM YOU

MUST'VE CLOUDED MY MEMORY.

TIM: HEY, SPEAKING OF MEMORIES, JACK,

I BET YOU REMEMBER THE HUDSON DERBY?

OH, WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

WELL, LAST TIME I EVER HEARD ANYONE SAYING,

"I'M NUMBER TWO! I'M NUMBER TWO!"

OH... (CHUCKLES)

NICE ONE, DAD.

HEY, CHECK IT OUT.

HE'S A REAL LOOKER, HEY?

YEAH. WHERE'D YOU GET HIM FROM?

FROM ME. HIS NAME'S MONEY.

OH, YOU... YOU GAVE TY A HORSE?

THAT'S A PRETTY SPECIAL PRESENT.

KIT: UH, NOT REALLY, ACTUALLY.

UM, TY SAID YOU GUYS COULD REHOME HIM.

HE DID, DID HE?

I-I KNOW. I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT UM... I'M KIND OF DESPERATE.

MY UNCLE JUST DUMPED HIM ON ME. (TIGHT INHALE)

I PUT AN AD ON THE NET ABOUT A MONTH AGO,

WITH A PICTURE, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

SO FAR NADA!

YEAH, MAYBE THE PICTURE WAS A MISTAKE.

(LAUGHS)

ISN'T HE THE FUGLIEST HORSE YOU'VE EVER SEEN?

BUT HE'S GOT A GREAT PERSONALITY.

I JUST THOUGHT THAT WE'RE ALL SET UP

FOR REHOMING, SO...

YEAH. NO, IT'S AWESOME.

IT CAN BE LIKE YOUR SPECIAL PROJECT?

YEAH.

(BALER WHIRS)

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE LOSING IT.

HONESTLY, YOUR MEMORY'S SHOT.

I WON THAT RACE, FAIR AND SQUARE!

NO. YOU TOOK A SHORTCUT.

YOU SHOULDA BEEN DISQUALIFIED.

WRONG SIDE OF A COUPLE OF TREES?

YOU CALL THAT A SHORTCUT?

YOU WENT OFF-COURSE. I KNOW IT! YOU KNOW IT!

THE ONLY PERSON THAT MISSED IT

WAS THAT DAMN SPOTTER!

HE WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE.

IF THERE WAS SOMETHING TO SPOT, HE WOULD'VE SPOTTED IT!

EXCEPT HE WAS SO DRUNK

HE COULDN'T SEE A FOOT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE.

'CAUSE YOU BOUGHT HIM THE WHISKEY.

YOU CAN HAVE THE HAY.

I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN HAY!

I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN MONEY.

WELL, I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANYMORE

ABOUT YOU WINNING THAT DAMN RACE!

DON'T WORRY, I'LL NEVER MENTION IT AGAIN.

FINE!

(BALER WHIRS)

EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW I WON THAT RACE

BY THREE LENGTHS!

BECAUSE YOU CHEATED!

(BALER WHIRS)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪ And at the break of day ♪

♪ You sank into ♪

♪ Your dream ♪

♪ You dreamer ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪

♪ You dreamer ♪

♪ You dreamer ♪

LOU: SEE, THIS BYLAW,

IT REFERS TO THE KEEPING OF LIVESTOCK.

SUGARFOOT IS DEFINITELY NOT LIVESTOCK.

SOME PEOPLE THINK OF THEIR HORSES AS PETS,

BUT AS FAR AS HUDSON COUNTY IS CONCERNED,

THEY'RE IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS COWS, CHICKENS AND GOATS.

OKAY. SUGARFOOT IS MORE LIKE A COMPANION, REALLY.

I MEAN, HE'S A... A LIFE-SAVER;

WHEN MRS. BELL HAD A HEART ATTACK,

HE DID EVERYTHING BUT CALL 911.

SO THIS HORSE IS A GUIDE ANIMAL?

YES, EXACTLY. LIKE A THERAPY HORSE.

MRS. BELL IS VISUALLY IMPAIRED?

WELL, YES... THERE IS IMPAIRMENT.

DEFINITELY.

OF COURSE, WE MAKE PROVISIONS FOR THESE SITUATIONS.

GREAT. SO THEN YOU CAN JUST TEAR UP THAT LETTER

AND MAKE AN EXCEPTION?

(LAUGHS) HUDSON COUNTY DOESN'T TEAR UP LETTERS

AND MAKE EXCEPTIONS BASED ON HEARSAY EVIDENCE.

IF MRS. BELL QUALIFIES

FOR THE USE OF AN ASSISTANCE ANIMAL,

THAT WILL BE TAKEN INTO CONSIDERATION.

UNTIL THEN,

THE BYLAW TAKES PRECEDENCE.

(ATV MOTOR RUMBLES)

(ATV MOTOR RUMBLES TO A STOP)

WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOIN'?

YOU STILL GOT THAT ROPE OF YOURS?

YES.

AND A HORSE YOU CAN ROPE OFF OF?

YOU KNOW I DO.

WELL, BETTER START PRACTICING.

FOOTHILLS RODEO'S THIS WEEKEND

AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO SUCK,

I NEED THE POINTS.

UM, AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE?

WELL, IF I DO GOOD IN BRONCS AND TIE-DOWN ROPING,

I GOT ENOUGH POINTS TO GET MY PRO RODEO CARD.

BUT I COULD DO WITH A THIRD EVENT,

JUST AS INSURANCE.

WHAT, LIKE... TEAM ROPING?

OKAY. YES, YES!

(LAUGHS)

CALEB: I KNEW YOU COULDN'T RESIST.

THIS BABY IS A DEFINITE CHICK MAGNET!

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

SO ANYWAYS, I'M SURE ONCE SHE MEETS SUGARFOOT,

HER BUREAUCRATIC HEART WILL MELT

AND, YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

HEY, LOU, I'VE GOT THREE LOADS,

BUT DON'T WORRY...

THIS TIME I BROUGHT MY OWN DETERGENT.

IS THAT SOUR CREAM COFFEE CAKE?

HELP YOURSELF, ASHLEY.

UM, IN BETWEEN LOADS,

DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE APOLLO OUT?

COME ON, ASHLEY.

YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO ASK.

I TOLD YOU I'D SELL HIM BACK TO YOU

FOR NEXT TO NOTHING.

I LIVE IN A TRAILER.

A LAUNDROMAT IS WAY OUTSIDE MY BUDGET,

SO HOW DO YOU THINK I CAN AFFORD TO TAKE CARE OF A HORSE?

I MEAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH A BALE OF HAY COSTS?

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO.

KIT: YOU CAN BRUSH HIM ALL YOU WANT,

HE'S NOT GONNA GET ANY BETTER LOOKING.

KIT AND TY: (CHUCKLE)

SO, YOUR UNCLE GIVE YOU ANY HISTORY ON THIS GUY?

JUST THAT MONEY USED TO BE A CHUCKWAGON HORSE.

REALLY? MM-HMM.

WELL, I THINK I'M GONNA GET SCOTT TO VET HIM.

SEE HOW OLD HE IS,

MAKE SURE HE'S IN GOOD SHAPE.

I KNEW YOU'RE THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB.

(LAUGHS)

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY GLAD

THAT YOU'RE COMING THIS WEEKEND.

FOR SURE IT WILL CUT A COUPLE OF SECONDS OFF MY TIME,

HAVING YOU THERE, CHEERING FOR ME.

AND WE DON'T HAVE TO GO WITH CALEB AND AMY.

WE COULD TAKE YOUR TRUCK.

AMY'S COMING?

YEAH. SHE'S, UH, GONNA BE CALEB'S HEADER.

OH.

SHE NEVER TOLD ME.

WHAT, YOU GUYS TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING?

WELL, OBVIOUSLY NOT.

WELL, DON'T YOU DARE TELL HER HOW MUCH I LIKE KISSING YOU.

MS. NEWTON: I DON'T SEE ANY SIGN OF A HORSE:

NO PEN, NO SHELTER.

LOU: LIKE I SAID, HE'S MORE LIKE A COMPANION.

(DOOR CREAKS OPEN, HOOVES CLOP)

(GRUNTS)

MRS. BELL: COME BACK HERE...

YOU LITTLE RASCAL!

HE HATES BATHS.

THE SECOND I START TO FILL UP THE TUB,

HE'S OUT OF THERE!

I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE WAS VISUALLY IMPAIRED?

IT COMES AND GOES.

BUT SHE IS ALMOST COMPLETELY 100 PERCENT DEAF.

OH, THAT'S A BIT OF AN EXAGGERATION,

ISN'T IT, LOU?

SHE MUST BE HAVING A GOOD DAY.

OR A BAD ONE.

NOT ONLY IS SHE KEEPING LIVESTOCK

IN CONTRAVENTION OF THE BYLAW,

BUT SHE'S KEEPING IT IN HER DOMICILE,

WHICH RAISES RED FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE.

RED FLAGS?

I'M AFRAID I HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT TO REPORT MRS. BELL TO SOCIAL SERVICES.

WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS, UH, MRS. BELL MIGHT BE BETTER OFF

IN AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY.

AN OLD AGE HOME?

THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN, OKAY?

AND, YOU KNOW, AS FOR THAT STUPID BYLAW...

SHE WILL HAVE 30 DAYS TO FILE AN APPEAL.

BUT I WARN YOU,

THAT CAN BE A VERY EXPENSIVE AND TIME CONSUMING PROCESS.

YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER...

OUR LAWYER...

DEFINITELY, A LAWYER.

NOW THIS WAS AN ALL OUT ENDURANCE RACE

ACROSS SOME PRETTY TOUGH TERRAIN...

GRAMPA, YOU'VE REALLY NEED TO LET THIS GO.

I PUT THIS BEHIND ME YEARS AGO.

IT'S JUST THAT...

TY NEEDS TO KNOW NOW HOW IT REALLY HAPPENED

BEFORE YOUR FATHER STARTS REWRITING HISTORY.

NOW, MY STRATEGY WAS TO GET IN THE LEAD...

(MIMICS JACK) AND STAY IN THE LEAD.

JACK: WE COME UP ON PLUMMERS ROAD... ABOUT HERE,

AND YOUR FATHER WAS HERE...

AND SCOTT WAS RIGHT BEHIND HIM.

SCOTT? SCOTT WAS IN THE RACE?

HE'S THE MUSTARD.

(SARDONIC) OBVIOUSLY.

JACK: IT WAS HIS FIRST TIME OUT, BUT HE WAS A CONTENDER

'CAUSE HE COULD RIDE.

WHEN I GOT TO THREE POINT CREEK,

I LOOK BEHIND ME...

TIM WAS GONE.

BUT WHEN I BROKE OUT OF THE TREES,

(DISH SLIDES)

HE'S AHEAD OF ME.

(PEPPERMILL THUNKS)

HE NEVER PASSED ME,

JUST MAGICALLY APPEARED IN FRONT OF ME.

(MOCKING) BUT GRAMPA, HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY HAPPEN?

YEAH, GRAMPA, HOW?!

HE CUT CORNERS, THAT'S HOW.

WENT OFF-COURSE SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS.

WELL, WHY WASN'T HE DISQUALIFIED THEN?

(SCOFFS) TEFLON TIM.

THAT MAN IS SO SLICK THAT NOTHING EVER STICKS TO HIM.

OKAY, SO HOW MUCH MONEY WAS AT STAKE IN THIS DERBY?

IT WASN'T ABOUT THE MONEY, IT WAS A CHARITY RACE.

THE REAL ACTION?

THE REAL ACTION WAS UNDER THE TABLE.

REALLY? HOW MUCH DID YOU RAISE?

WELL, OVER THE YEARS,

PRETTY WELL ENOUGH TO BUILD A WHOLE NEW TRAUMA WING

ON THE HUDSON COUNTY HOSPITAL.

(CHUCKLES) IT'S A GOOD THING, TOO,

'CAUSE THAT DAMN RACE, THAT'S THE REASON STUMPY

GOT THE NAME STUMPY.

LOU: I HAD NO IDEA THAT CRAZY RACE WAS ALL ABOUT DOING GOOD.

IF YOU CALL A KNOCK-DOWN, DRAG 'EM OUT,

NO HOLDS BARRED GRUDGE MATCH DOING GOOD, THEN...

I GUESS IT WAS.

(SIGHS)

(RELUCTANT SIGH)

OH MY GOD.

MS. STANTON.

(EXASPERATED SIGH)

WOULD ASHLEY BE IN?

I'M PRETTY SURE I'D KNOW IF SHE WAS.

IT'S NOT LIKE SOMEONE COULD HIDE OUT IN THERE.

WELL, I GUESS THIS'D BE MY CHANCE

TO TALK TO THE YOUNG MAN

MY DAUGHTER IS SHACKED UP WITH.

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

MM. LIKE YOU SAID,

NOT MUCH ROOM FOR PRIVACY IN THERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN?

COFFEE? BEER?

THANK YOU, BUT NO.

(HALF LAUGHS)

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE A BULLRIDER?

OH, NO, NOT PLANNING ON DYING YOUNG,

SO...

I'M STICKING TO BRONCS.

AH.

YEAH, COUPLE OF MORE WINS AND I'M TURNING PRO.

YOU MUST BE PRETTY GOOD AT IT THEN, HUH?

YEAH, THAT AND ROPING.

MY ONLY PROBLEM IS

I GOTTA HOOK UP WITH SOME SPONSORS

IF I WANNA FOLLOW THE CIRCUIT SOUTH

COME WINTER.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE GOT YOUR FUTURE ALL WORKED OUT.

YES I DO.

AND TO THINK I WAS WORRIED

THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE

WHOSE ASPIRATIONS DIDN'T GO BEYOND

WORKING AS A RANCH HAND,

LIVING IN A RENTED TRAILER.

NO, MA'AM. I SAW THAT MOVIE

AND I DON'T LIKE HOW IT ENDS.

(WITH A SIGH) OKAY, WELL, UH...

I GUESS I BETTER BE GOING.

TELL MY DAUGHTER TO CALL ME, OKAY?

I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER IN DAYS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ASHLEY, MA'AM.

I'M TAKING REAL GOOD CARE OF HER.

(HALF LAUGHS)

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

LOU: QUICK-QUICK-QUICK-QUICK- QUICK-QUICK-QUICK-QUICK!

TURN ON THE TV!

JACK: WHERE'S THE FIRE, LOU?

QUICK. COME ON, COME ON.

THAT'S RIGHT, SHELLEY.

OH MY GOD, LOU, IT'S YOU!

LOU: MANY SENIORS IN OUR COMMUNITY ARE DENIED THE RIGHT

TO KEEP COMPANION ANIMALS IN THEIR HOMES.

SO WE'RE RAISING MONEY FOR A LEGAL DEFENSE FUND

BY RESURRECTING A HUDSON TRADITION,

THE HUDSON CHARITY DERBY!

AND VIEWERS CAN GET MORE INFORMATION

BY CALLING THE INFORMATION HOTLINE...

RIGHT HERE.

SHELLY: THANKS, LOU. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR EFFORTS,

AND I REALLY HOPE THE EVENT... (HOME PHONE RINGS)

SEE?! THE PHONES ARE ALREADY RINGING OFF THE HOOK!

HUDSON CHARITY DERBY INFORMATION HOTLINE.

YES, THIS IS LOU FLEMING.

WHAT AM I WEARING?

EXCUSE ME?

UGH!

(AMY SNICKERS, LOU EXHALES, DISGUSTED)

(HORSE WHINNIES)

JACK: WELL, LOU,

SEEING AS THE LAST TIME,

THE TITLE WAS STOLEN FROM ME,

ALLOW ME TO BE THE FIRST ONE TO SIGN UP.

COME ON, GRAMPA.

DO YOU REALLY WANNA GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN?

DAMN RIGHT I DO.

OKAY.

OKAY.

JUST, UH, FILL OUT THIS FORM

AND GIVE ME A CHEQUE FOR THE ENTRY FEE.

(WHISTLES) IT'S A LITTLE STEEP.

YOU KNOW, GRAMPA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO RACE.

YOU COULD MAKE A DONATION,

YOU COULD UM... YOU COULD BE A JUDGE.

THAT WOULD BE A GREAT HELP.

WHAT IS THIS?

OH, I UH...

I RAN INTO DAD

ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE INTERVIEW AND...

I GUESS YOU COULD SAY HE BEAT YOU TO IT.

IS THAT RIGHT?

WELL, THAT'LL BE THE LAST TIME

TIM FLEMING BEATS ME AT ANYTHING.

(PENCIL'S LEAD SNAPS)

(SETS CLIPBOARD DOWN HEAVILY)

OH MY.

YOU AND GRAMPA, REMATCH?

TIM: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN DOING PRETTY WELL LATELY, BUT...

MY SHOULDER STILL STINGS A BIT.

YEAH, MAYBE IT'S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

LIKE YOU SHOULD'VE NEVER ENTERED THAT RACE?

WELL, MAYBE, BUT I CAN'T BACK OUT NOW.

YOUR GRAMPA'S ALREADY ENTERED.

LOU ALMOST HAD ME TALKED OUT OF IT.

(GRUNT OF EFFORT)

MY KNEES DO GET A BIT STIFF THIS TIME OF YEAR.

BUT THEN, I SEE TIM'S NAME

RIGHT AT THE TOP OF THE ENTRY LIST.

YOU KNOW IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT, JACK.

BACK OUT?

AH, THE ENTRY FEE'S NON-REFUNDABLE.

BESIDES,

THIS OLD FIREBRAND RIGHT HERE,

HE MIGHT NOT BE AS YOUNG AS HE USED TO BE,

BUT HE'S STILL GOT A BURNING DESIRE TO WIN.

I FIGURE I GOT A WINNING HORSE,

BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET HIM UP

TO MORE THAN A WALK LATELY, BECAUSE...

THE DARN BULLET WOUND.

YEAH.

SO I WAS KINDA HOPING THAT YOU'D LEG HIM UP.

GET HIM IN RACING SHAPE.

'CAUSE I KNOW THAT I HAVE ONE GOOD RIDE IN ME,

I JUST DON'T WANNA BLOW IT BEFORE THE RACE.

MY STRATEGY IS TO TAKE IT EASY,

TAKE IT SLOW.

I DON'T WANNA WEAR THIS GUY OUT

BEFORE RACE DAY.

SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT THIS HORSE

MIGHT BE TOO OLD FOR THE SUICIDE RACE,

BUT YOU'RE NOT?

I DON'T WIN THIS RACE,

TIM'LL NEVER LET ME LIVE IT DOWN.

(HALF LAUGHS) COME ON, JACK.

THE DERBY WAS WHAT, TEN, TWELVE YEARS AGO?

OH, IT GOES BACK A LOT FURTHER THAN THAT.

TIM FLEMING'S BEEN KEEPING SCORE

EVER SINCE THE CLARESHOME RODEO.

HE BEAT ME ON A TECHNICALITY

AND HE'S BEEN DINING OUT ON IT EVER SINCE.

CLARESHOME RODEO.

YOUR GRANDPA GOT A 10 SECOND PENALTY

FOR BREAKING THE BARRIER.

SOMEHOW, HE FIGURED THAT WAS MY FAULT.

HE HASN'T HAD A KIND WORD TO SAY ABOUT ME

FROM THAT DAY FORWARD.

I'M RIDING IN THAT DERBY,

WHETHER YOU HELP ME OR NOT.

EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU?

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

YOURS.

JUST DON'T LET YOUR GRANDPA FIND OUT.

(STRAINING GRUNTS)

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT A LEG UP, JACK?

NO, I DON'T WANT A LEG UP.

(HORSE GRUNTS)

OKAY, MAYBE JUST THIS ONCE.

BUT IF YOU TELL TIM...

TY AND JACK: (GRUNTS OF EFFORT)

TY: YOU KNOW, JACK, I REALLY ADMIRE YOU.

(PLEASED CHUCKLE)

I JUST HOPE WHEN I'M YOUR AGE,

I'M HALF AS STUPID AS YOU ARE.

I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T BRING ANY MORE COUNTY OFFICIALS

TO MY HOUSE, LOU.

LOU: I SWEAR, IF I HAD FOR ONE SECOND

THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD TURN OUT

THE WAY IT DID...

BUT DON'T WORRY,

I'M TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING.

OH PLEASE, DEAR, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

AND I KNOW HOW TO RAISE MONEY FOR YOU!

WE'RE GOING TO RUN THE HUDSON DERBY!

THEY CANCELLED THAT RACE YEARS AGO.

I KNOW, MRS. BELL, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN,

AND I WANT YOU TO DROP THE FLAG ON DERBY DAY.

FINE.

BUT DON'T TELL YOUR FATHER

OR YOUR GRANDFATHER ABOUT THAT RACE,

OR IT'LL BE HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF

ALL OVER AGAIN!

(WHIR OF APPROACHING VEHICLE)

TY: YOU OKAY, JACK? BEEN GONE A LONG TIME.

YEAH, I'M OKAY.

IT'S THE HORSE THAT NEEDED A BREAK.

YOU WANNA TAKE MY TRUCK?

I'LL WALK HIM BACK.

JACK: I STILL GOT A FIRE IN MY BELLY,

BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, MY FEET ARE FREEZING.

AS FOR THAT OLD GUY,

WELL... (GRUNTS)

I THINK THE FIRE'S GONE OUT.

(GEARSHIFT CLUNKS, ENGINE RUMBLES)

(FIREWOOD CLATTERS)

YOU KNOW, YOUR MOM CAME BY.

MY MOM?

WHAT DID SHE WANT?

I DON'T KNOW,

I THINK SHE JUST WANTED TO TALK TO ME.

YOU KNOW, SHE SEEMED PRETTY DECENT.

WEIRD.

YEAH, EVER SINCE SHE'S HAD THESE TESTS,

SHE'S MAKING IT REALLY HARD FOR ME

TO KEEP HATING HER.

YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT MOVING BACK HOME, ARE YOU?

WHAT?!

AND TRADE ALL THIS IN FOR INDOOR PLUMBING,

CENTRAL HEATING AND SATELLITE TV?

(LAUGHS)

LOOK, JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HATE HER,

DOESN'T MEAN I WANNA LIVE WITH HER.

WELL, GOOD...

'CAUSE YOUR COFFEE'S GETTING A LOT BETTER AND...

KIND OF LIKE NOT HAVING TO MAKE IT ON MY OWN.

(HALF LAUGHS)

DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE?

UH-HUH.

JUST THERE'S A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT I...

I KIND OF DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT.

YES, AND WHILE YOU'RE TALKING TO ME,

YOU CAN FOLD THESE.

I'M SERIOUS, LOU.

(SIGHS) IT'S JUST... CALEB,

HE WANTS ME TO GO TO THE RODEO WITH HIM

THIS WEEKEND,

BUT I'VE GOT A REPORT ON SOIL EROSION DUE AND...

AND, YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I COULD SPEND

FOUR HOURS IN A TRUCK WITH TY AND KIT.

I MEAN, ALL THAT HUGGING AND SMILING

AND THOSE CUTE LITTLE JOKES.

IT MAKES ME SICK.

AND ON TOP OF IT ALL,

DAD ASKED ME TO WORK HIS HORSE FOR HIM

AND I SAID YES,

BUT I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD EVEN BE IN THE RACE.

LOU, YOU'RE NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ME.

DITCH CALEB, HELP DAD,

DO YOUR HOMEWORK AND...

DON'T MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE HANGING OUT WITH TY AND KIT.

YOU CAN TELL IT MAKES ME MISERABLE?

OH MY GOD, DO YOU THINK THEY KNOW

IT MAKES ME MISERABLE?

WHEN YOUR FINISHED FOLDING THOSE,

YOU CAN PUT THEM IN THESE ENVELOPES.

(HEAVY SIGH)

EASY, BOY.

SEE THIS?

YEAH.

HE'S GOTTA BE ABOUT 15, 16-YEARS-OLD.

(HORSE GRUNTS)

SCOTT: AND...

HE'S GOT A TATTOO.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

MEANS HE'S A THOROUGHBRED AND HE WAS ON THE TRACK.

HE WAS A RACE HORSE?

WELL, HE RACED AT LEAST ONCE.

BUT DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

DOESN'T MEAN HE WAS ANY GOOD AT IT.

A LOT OF HORSES ONLY HAVE ONE RACE IN THEM.

HEY, JACK SAID YOU WERE IN THE DERBY

LAST YEAR THEY RAN IT.

SAID YOU WERE A REAL CONTENDER.

(HALF LAUGHS) I WAS BARELY 18, YOU KNOW.

DIDN'T KNOW WHAT FEAR WAS.

AND ALL I WAS THINKING ABOUT WAS WINNING THAT RACE

SO THAT LOU WOULD REALIZE

THAT I WASN'T JUST ONE OF HER MOM'S PROJECTS.

SO WHAT'RE YOU THINKING NOW?

WELL, I'M THINKING

THAT YOU SHOULD CHECK THIS HORSE'S RACING STATS

BEFORE YOU GET JACK'S HOPES UP.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS IS ABOUT JACK?

WELL, I WAS A COUPLE LENGTHS BEHIND WHEN TIM

WHEN HE CROSSED THAT FINISH LINE FIRST.

I'VE BEEN RELIVING THAT MOMENT EVER SINCE THEN.

I ONLY CAME IN THIRD! (HALF LAUGHS)

I THINK THESE ARE YOURS.

I FOUND THEM IN THE DRYER. YOU KNOW, STUCK.

THANKS.

HEY, UM...

I CAN'T...

I CAN'T GO WITH YOU THIS WEEKEND TO THE RODEO.

I'M SURE YOU'LL STILL DO GOOD.

PROBABLY EVEN BETTER WITHOUT ME,

'CAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO PRACTICE.

WELL, THERE'S STILL A FEW MORE DAYS.

I KNOW, I... I JUST CAN'T.

OKAY? IT'S MY DAD.

I PROMISED MY DAD I'D HELP HIM WITH SOMETHING.

YEAH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOU PROMISED YOU'D ROPE WITH ME.

I ALREADY SIGNED YOU UP.

I'M SORRY.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. I WAS COUNTING ON YOU.

AT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR BOXERS BACK.

(KEYS CLACK)

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

(KEY CLACKS, COMPUTER BEEPS)

WHOA!

HIS REAL NAME IS "YOU'RE SO MONEY."

HE RACED 12 TIMES AND HE WON THREE OF THEM.

OH, I THINK HIS RACING DAYS ARE LONG OVER.

THE SAME COULD BE SAID FOR YOU, JACK.

OKAY, MONEY, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.

YAH! (HORSE WHINNIES WILDLY)

HOLY CRAP!

(JACK LAUGHS)

I TOLD YA, JACK! WOOOOO!

(HORSE GRUNTS)

HA HA!

OH, I'VE RIDDEN SOME GOOD HORSES IN MY DAY,

FAST HORSES,

BUT THIS GUY,

I THOUGHT I HAD HIM IN OVERDRIVE,

HE STILL HAD A COUPLE OF GEARS LEFT.

SO WE GOT OURSELVES A WINNER THEN?

WELL, WE'VE GOT SOME NATURAL TALENT,

THAT'S FOR SURE, BUT...

IT'S GOTTA BE MOLDED.

ALL RIGHT.

WAIT, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

THAT MEANS THAT WE LOPE,

WE BREEZE, WE RUN HIM, WE DO SOME HILLS,

WE PRACTICE STARTS,

AND WE FEED HIM EXACTLY RIGHT

SO HE PEAKS ON RACE DAY.

BUT I'M GONNA NEED YOUR HELP ON THIS.

YOU CAN COUNT ME IN.

(HALF LAUGHS) YES, SIR.

THIS GUY,

THIS GUY IS OUR SECRET WEAPON.

EMPHASIS ON THE "SECRET."

(PLEASED LAUGH)

AND WHAT'RE YOU TWO SO HAPPY ABOUT?

OH NOTHING.

NOTHING.

JACK: WAIT A MINUTE...

ISN'T THAT YOUR...

YOU ARE TRAINING YOUR DAD'S HORSE!

WELL, I JUST... (TIGHT INHALE)

AT LEAST NOW I KNOW

WHOSE SIDE OF THE FENCE YOU'RE ON.

GRAMPA!

HEY, NOT THAT I CARE. BELIEVE ME.

TIM FLEMING NEEDS ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET.

(LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

IF I WAS CONDITIONING A HORSE FOR AN ENDURANCE RACE,

I'D BUY THIS.

FRONT RUNNER.

I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

AND YOU'LL NEED THESE TOO.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, FOR OURSELVES,

I WAS THINKING, UH, PIE AND COFFEE?

APPLE PIE.

(PATRONS CHATTER)

HEY THERE, STRANGER.

HI SCOTT.

I SAW YOUR TRUCK OUTSIDE.

HEY. UH, YEAH, UM,

I WAS ACTUALLY MEANING TO CALL YOU.

UM... YOU SEE, THE THING IS,

SOMETHING CAME UP AND I CAN'T GO WITH YOU

TO THE RODEO THIS WEEKEND.

OH NO. I HOPE IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS?

NO, ACTUA... WELL, MAYBE, BUT...

I JUST MADE A PROMISE.

YEAH. TO ME.

YEAH, BUT, UM...

I ALSO MADE A PROMISE TO JACK.

IT'S ABOUT HIS HORSE.

WHY DOESN'T AMY TAKE CARE OF IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK SHE'S GOING TO THE RODEO.

THAT'S FUNNY.

'CAUSE, UH, CALEB JUST TOLD ME THAT SHE'S NOT GOING EITHER.

THAT'S FIRST I'VE HEARD.

WHY DON'T I BELIEVE YOU? COME ON, KIT.

IS THERE STILL SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?

THIS ISN'T ABOUT AMY.

IT'S ABOUT JACK.

(SNORTED HUFF)

BUT, HEY, I KNOW YOU'LL DO GREAT

AT THE RODEO.

YEAH, THANKS.

(DINER DOOR CLOSES)

AH.

FEEDING HIM THE GOOD STUFF I SEE.

YEAH, NOTHING BUT THE BEST.

YOU MIND, UH...

SAVING SOME OF THAT FOR MY DAD'S HORSE?

TY: OH... SORRY.

IT'S LIKE YOU SAID,

THIS GUY'S MY SPECIAL PROJECT.

(FEEDBAG RUSTLES)

(LAUGHS)

WELL, THAT'S JUST TOO BAD.

'CAUSE AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE FOR THAT RODEO THIS WEEKEND,

THAT BAG'S MINE.

MAYBE I'M NOT GOING TO THE RODEO.

YEAH, MAYBE I'M NOT EITHER.

WAIT, YOU'RE NOT GOIN'?

NO. NOW KIT'S KINDA MAD AT ME, SO.

YEAH, ME AND CALEB, SAME THING.

SO HOW COME YOU'RE NOT GOING?

NO REASON. HOW ABOUT YOU?

NO REASON.

YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT.

AND YOU AREN'T?

OKAY, SO...

WE BOTH KNOW WE'RE BACKING DIFFERENT HORSES,

BUT LET'S NOT GET SUCKED INTO

THAT WHOLE COMPETITIVE THING,

RIGHT? SALT VERSUS PEPPER.

YOU COULD SAY THAT.

(HOOVES THUNDER)

AMY: (LAUGHS) I WON!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE WEREN'T EVEN RACING.

WELL, MAYBE YOU WEREN'T.

YOU MEAN YOU WERE?

BECAUSE IF YOU WERE, I WASN'T EVEN TRYING.

I WASN'T TRYING EITHER. BUT I STILL WON, DIDN'T I?

BOTH: (CHUCKLE)

SO, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA COME?

THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM IN THE TRUCK.

BECAUSE AMY BAILED OUT ON YOU?

NOW THERE'S AN INVITATION I CAN REFUSE.

COME ON, ASH.

NEXT TIME.

AND I PROMISE, I'LL ASK YOU FIRST.

I DON'T GET YOU.

ARE YOU REALLY THAT OBLIVIOUS?

OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT?

WELL, AMY BAILS OUT ON YOU AND TY BAILS OUT ON KIT?

I MEAN, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S A COINCIDENCE?

OKAY, MAYBE NOT.

BUT I CAN'T THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW I GOTTA THINK ABOUT FOUR HOURS ON THE ROAD,

EIGHT SECONDS ON A BRONC,

AND ABOUT 7.9 SECONDS TO ROPE A CALF,

GIVE OR TAKE.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT YOUR THINKING

PRETTY WELL FIGURED OUT.

YES, I DO.

(HUM OF EXCITED CHATTER)

IS THAT GONNA GO UP? I NEED THAT TO GO UP.

OH HEY! COMPETITOR PARKING ONLY PLEASE!

GENERAL PARKING, BACK THAT WAY.

HERE YOU GO. GREAT. THANKS.

SCOTT!

I WAS AFRAID YOU DIDN'T GET MY MESSAGE.

MESSAGE?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, I NEED A VET ON STANDBY.

I WISH I COULD PAY YOU,

BUT I'M BARELY BREAKING EVEN AS IT IS, SO.

I'M NOT ON STANDBY, ACTUALLY. I'M A LATE ENTRY.

OH! ANOTHER ENTRY!

(GASPS) AND A LATE ENTRY!

I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHARGE YOU

A LATE ENTRY FEE.

GLAD TO BE OF HELP.

GREAT. SO... SCOTT CARDINAL.

AND WHAT IS YOUR HORSE'S NAME?

"EAT MY DUST."

(CHUCKLES)

I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT!

A C-NOTE ON "EAT MY DUST" TO WIN.

STUMPY, YOU'RE BETTING ON THE RACE?

CAN'T RIDE IN IT ANYMORE,

NOT SINCE, UH... (HOLLOW TAP ON PROSTHETIC)

THE LAST TIME.

AT LEAST I CAN MAKE SOME MONEY.

ONE HUNDRED BUCKS ON "EAT MY DUST" TO WIN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THE WINDOW IS NOW OPEN.

PLACE YOUR BETS!

STUMPY... (CLEARS THROAT)

YOU ARE A GENIUS.

REMEMBER TO HOLD BACK UNTIL THE HOME STRETCH.

I ALREADY TOLD YA,

I LIKE TO GET THE EARLY LEAD, AND KEEP IT.

I'VE GOT ALL THE STATS, JACK.

LOOK. HE'S A COME FROM BEHIND HORSE.

WELL, IT'S NOT MY STYLE TO COME FROM BEHIND.

WELL, IF YOU WANNA WIN THIS RACE,

YOU GOTTA CHANGE YOUR STYLE.

(SCOFFS) IS THAT RIGHT?

(MUTED DIN OF CHATTER FROM OUTSIDE)

(SIGHS)

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE UP FOR THIS, DAD?

YES.

IF THE HORSE IS UP FOR IT.

I STILL THINK IT'S INSANE.

YOU KNOW, YOUR PRE-RACE PEP TALK

COULD USE A LITTLE WORK.

(LAUGHS) I'M JUST BEING HONEST.

WELL, DON'T BE HONEST. JUST SAY, "DAD,

YOU'RE GONNA WIN IT."

AND THEN... TELL ME HOW TO DO IT.

OKAY! DAD, YOU'RE GONNA WIN. JUST GO FAST.

AND IF YOU SEE GRAMPA COMING UP BEHIND YA,

GO FASTER.

(LAUGHS)

(HORSE GRUNTS)

ALL RIGHT, A FIVER ON "YOU'RE SO MONEY."

YOU GOT IT. GOOD LUCK. SHORT HORSE TO WIN.

I'M LIKING THE ODDS ON JACK BARTLETT!

AND, UH, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE RETURNING CHAMPION...

TIM FLEMING! AMY! I'M SHORT A SPOTTER.

I NEED YOU TO TAKE THIS,

GET UP TO THE HALFWAY MARK

AS SOON AS THE RACE STARTS.

NO, NO. SHE CAN'T BE A SPOTTER!

SHE'S BEEN HELPING THE COMPETITION.

ALL RIGHT. TY, YOU GO!

OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.

YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT TY

HASN'T BEEN WORKING WITH THE OLD MAN.

OKAY. THEY BOTH GO.

OKAY.

OKAY.

WE CAN PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEE

THEY WON'T BE BLIND DRUNK.

OKAY.

THANKS.

LOU.

YOU GONNA WISH ME LUCK?

I WOULD, DAD,

BUT I HAVE TO MAINTAIN ABSOLUTE IMPARTIALITY.

HEY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,

YOUR ODDS ARE REALLY GOOD.

AS WE ALL KNOW, THE HUDSON CHARITY DERBY

ISN'T JUST ABOUT WINNING OR LOSING...

IT'S ABOUT COMMUNITY.

AND BEFORE I INTRODUCE OUR OFFICIAL STARTER,

MRS. SALLY BELL,

I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU ALL,

THAT BETTING WINDOW IS NOW CLOSED.

CROWD: (HUM OF CHATTER)

ON YOUR MARK...

GET SET...

GO! (CROWD CHEERS)

COME ON, JACK!

(CROWD CHEERS, HORSES WHINNY WILDLY)

(CROWD CHEERS, HORSES WHINNY, RIDERS CALL TO THEIR HORSES)

LOU: COME ON, GRAMPA!

COME ON, JACK!

CROWD: (CHEERING)

TY: COME ON, JACK, LET ME GIVE YOU A LEG UP!

JACK: FORGET IT. JUST HOLD HIM STILL!

TY: DON'T BE SO STUBBORN, JACK!

JACK: I'M NOT BEING STUBBORN.

IT'S ALL PART OF YOUR STUPID COME-FROM-BEHIND STRATEGY.

COME ON, GRAMPA!

YAH!

GO, JACK! COME ON!

(CROWD CHEERS, TY CHEERS JACK ON)

AMY: WOOOO! COME ON, DAD!

LOU: AND AT MILE ONE, IT'S DUSTY BURDICK IN THE LEAD,

RIDER: UNGH!

FOLLOWED CLOSELY BEHIND BY... JIM.

SLIM?

FEMALE SPOTTER: NO, TIM!

TIM! TIM FLEMING! WOO HOO! GO DAD!

RIDERS: (URGING HORSES) YAH! YAH!

MS. NEWTON: EXCUSE ME?

OH. MS. NEWTON.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE TAKING BETS.

OH, I'M SORRY.

THE BETTING WINDOW IS NOW CLOSED.

THE RACE HAS ALREADY STARTED.

YOU UNDERSTAND,

PARI-MUTUAL BETTING AT AMATEUR SPORTS EVENTS

IS IN CONTRAVENTION OF HUDSON COUNTY BYLAWS.

PARI-MUTUAL? I HAD NO IDEA.

IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BREAKING THE LAW.

BUT... YOFROM MY OFFICE.

RIDERS: YAH! H'YAH!

HAH!

(THUNDERING OF HOOVES)

RIDER: UNGH!

RIDERS: H'YAH! YAH!

MALE SPOTTER: THAT'S TIM... SECOND PLACE,

AND SCOTT'S RIGHT BEHIND HIM...

AND JACK'S IN FOURTH PLACE.

LOU: ALL RIGHT, I'VE JUST GOT AN UPDATE

FROM THE COURSE, FOLKS.

THEY ARE CLOSING IN ON THE HALFWAY MARK AND...

OH NO...

TIM FLEMING HAS FALLEN BEHIND!

(DISGRUNTLED SHOUTS FROM CROWD)

LOU: AMY! COME IN, AMY!

(RADIOS CUT IN AND OUT)

AMY, ARE YOU THERE?

MAN: WHAT'S THE DEAL? WHAT'S GOING ON?

CROWD: (ANNOYED CHATTER)

UH, YES, THEY'RE APPROACHING THE HALFWAY MARK

AND THEY'RE GOING... REALLY FAST!

DAMMIT, AMY, WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT'S GOING ON?

(RADIO CUTS IN AND OUT) AMY...

LOU, I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

LOU: (RADIO CUTS IN AND OUT) AMY, WHERE ARE YOU?

LOU!

YOU KNOW, EVEN WHEN YOU CAN'T HEAR,

OR KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING,

YOU SORT OF KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING.

YEAH. OUT OF ALL OF YOU, SHE'S GOT IT THE WORST.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

WELL, YOU KNOW.

THAT CRAZY COMPETITIVE THING

THAT RUNS IN YOUR FAMILY.

NO, I AM WAY MORE COMPETITIVE THAN LOU.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PROVE IT.

ALL RIGHT, YOU ASKED FOR IT.

BRING IT ON.

(AMY LAUGHS PLAYFULLY, TY LANDS WITH A GRUNT)

AMY, WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?

AMY: (LAUGHS) NO, NO...

NO, NO, NO! (LAUGHS)

AMY: STOP! STOP!

TY: GOTCHA! (LAUGHS)

(ONCOMING THUNDER OF HOOVES, RIDERS URGE HORSES ON)

AMY: TY!

RIDERS: H'YAH! YAH! HAH!

HAH!

RIDER: YAH! HAH!

COME ON!

WOOO! GO SCOTT!

WOO-HOO! GO DAD!

GO JACK!

YEAH! COME FROM BEHIND!

WOOOO!

RIDERS: YAH! H'YAH!

JACK: HEY!

TIM: (GRUNTS)

UNGH!

WHAT, YOU'RE TAKING A SHORTCUT, TIM?

(PAINED GRUNT)

YOU NEVER LEARN, DO YA?

(PAINED GRUNT)

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

TIM: GIMME ME A LEG UP, WILL YA, JACK?

YOU JUST HAD YOUR SHOULDER BLOWN TO BITS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THIS.

TIM: (PAINED GRUNTS) YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY.

(GRUNTS)

AND THIS TIME...

I'M NOT GONNA FEEL GUILTY ABOUT BEATING YA.

JACK: WHY YOU SON OF A...

WHOA.

AND AT THE THREE QUARTER POLE

IT'S STILL DUSTY BURDICK! FOLLOWED BY...

MALE SPOTTER: SCOTT CARDINAL.

SCOTT CARDINAL? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DAD?

AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY GRAMPA?

MALE SPOTTER: I DON'T KNOW.

(CACOPHONY OF CHATTER)

BUT WE DON'T CARE WHO WINS OR LOSES, DO WE, FOLKS?

BECAUSE IT'S ALL JUST FUN AND GAMES

FOR A GOOD CAUSE!

CROWD: (CHEERING AND CHATTING EXCITEDLY)

(HORSE GRUNTS AND WHINNIES)

SCOTT: WHOA!

RIDER: SEE YOU, SCOTT.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

RIDER: YEAH, I'M OKAY.

DAMMIT! H'YAH!

ANOTHER RIDER DOWN! IT'S ANYONE'S RACE!

JACK AND TIM: HAH! H'YAH!

JACK: GIDDUP!

COME ON! YAH!

(HORSES WHINNY)

(HOOVES THUNDER)

EAT MY DUST! YAH! HAH! YAH!

(GRUNTS)

CLEAR THE COURSE!

THEY'RE COMING IN FOR THE HOME STRETCH!

(CHEERING EXCITEDLY)

LOU: AND HERE THEY COME! AND IN FIRST PLACE IT'S...

I DON'T BELIEVE IT! IT'S SCOTT!

SCOTT CARDINAL, IN FIRST PLACE!

AND IN SECOND PLACE, IT'S TIM FLEMING.

NO, IT'S JACK BARLETT. NO! IT'S A DEAD HEAT.

WOO HOO! IT'S A TIE!

A TIE FOR SECOND PLACE!

OH MAN, MAYBE YOUR DAD

AND JACK WILL GIVE IT A REST NOW.

YEAH RIGHT.

(LAUGHS)

LOU: AND NOW, IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE

TO PRESENT THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S HUDSON DERBY

WITH AN ALL INCLUSIVE DELUXE WEEKEND PACKAGE

AT THE HEARTLAND EQUESTRIAN CONNECTION!

(CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS)

AND I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO APOLOGIZE

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO MISTAKENLY THOUGHT

I WAS RUNNING A PARI-MUTUAL BETTING OPERATION,

AND ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR NON-TAXABLE

CHARITABLE DONATIONS

WILL GO STRAIGHT TO MRS. BELL'S DEFENSE FUND.

(CROWD CHEERS)

HEY, IT'S FOR TWO.

NOW ALL I'LL HAVE TO DO IS FIND SOMEONE

TO SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH ME AT THE DUDE RANCH.

WHO WANTS TO START THE BIDDING

ON A WEEKEND WITH OUR BIG WINNER?

HUH? DO I HEAR 200?

(WOMEN SHOUT EAGERLY) RIGHT HERE?

UH, DO I HEAR FOUR?

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE, SOLD! TO THE WOMAN IN THE WHITE HAT.

NOW HOW 'BOUT HIS HAT, FOLKS?

LET'S GET SOME BIDS ON SCOTT CARDINAL'S HAT.

HECK OF A RACE, SCOTT.

LET ME BE THE FIRST TO CONGRATULATE YOU.

HEY, GREAT JOB, PAL.

YOU KNOW YOU WON IT FAIR AND SQUARE.

SCOTT: THANKS, GUYS.

NO HARM IN BEING NUMBER TWO.

(CHUCKLES)

I KNOW WHY LOU CALLED IT A TIE,

BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW

THE ONLY THING YOU SAW CROSSING THAT FINISH LINE

WAS MY HORSE'S ASS.

YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT, TIM.

IF I LOOKED BEHIND ME, I WOULDA SEEN YOU:

BIGGEST HORSE'S ASS IN HUDSON COUNTY.

REALLY.

I GOT ENOUGH POINTS TO GET MY PRO-CARD.

GREAT. WHEN'RE YOU HEADING SOUTH?

I CAN'T GO. I MEAN...

I HAVE TO FIND A SPONSOR.

AH...

WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I WANTED TO MEET WITH YOU.

DON'T SHOW THIS TO MY DAUGHTER, ALL RIGHT?

SHE'LL TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY.

WHAT IS THIS?

LET'S JUST SAY NOW YOU'VE GOT ALL THE SPONSORSHIP

YOU'RE GONNA NEED.

(IGNITION TURNS, ENGINE RUMBLES)

AND SO... I JUST,

I WISH WE MADE A PROFIT,

BUT WITH THE ALL THE EXPENSES AND THE FINES,

I DON'T EVEN THINK WE'RE GONNA BREAK EVEN.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LEND YOU SOME MONEY, LOU?

MRS. BELL, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I WAS TRYING TO RAISE MONEY FOR YOU!

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME!

MY LAWYER TELLS ME

WE ALREADY HAVE THAT MS. NEWTON ON THE RUN.

YOUR LAWYER?

I FOUND MY GLASSES, DEAR.

HE WAS THE FIRST PERSON I CALLED

AFTER I READ THAT LETTER!

YOU HAVE A LAWYER?

AND HE THINKS SUGARFOOT IS THE CUTEST LITTLE CLIENT

HE'S EVER HAD,

SO HE'S WORKING FOR FREE!

FREE?

MRS. BELL, DO YOU HAVE HIS CARD?

CAN I GET HIS NUMBER? YOU SEE,

I GOT THIS OFFICIAL LETTER FROM HUDSON COUNTY.

I GOT THIS OFFICIAL LETTER FROM HUDSON COUNTY.

(BALER WHIRS)

WELL, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU WERE ABLE TO SET ASIDE

YOUR PETTY CONCERNS AND ACCEPT THE HAY.

GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO DROP YOUR PRICE

TO SOMETHING REASONABLE.

YEAH, WELL, DID IT FOR THE GIRLS.

SO, JACK...

WADDAYA SAY,

MAYBE IT'S TIME WE BURY THE HATCHET.

FIRST I'LL HAVE TO DIG IT OUT OF MY BACK.

COME ON. HOW LONG WE BEEN AT THIS?

HUH? CLARESHOME? WILLIAMS LAKE?

WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I WAS COMING UP, WINNING ALL THE MONEY.

AND YOU WERE SLIDING IN THE STANDINGS.

THE HELL I WAS!

OH, ADMIT IT!

I WAS THE NEXT BIG THING, IT WAS MY TURN.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN SHAKE MY HAND.

I BARELY KNEW WHO YOU WERE, DIDN'T CARE,

TILL MY DAUGHTER DRAGGED YOU HOME

LIKE SOMETHING STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF HER BOOT.

OH, SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU DIDN'T MIND ME BEATING YOU

ALL THOSE TIMES?

WHEN YOU AND MARION...

I NOTICED.

EVERY TIME YOU MADE THE WINDOW,

EVERY TIME YOU TOOK HOME A BUCKLE...

I WAS PROUD OF YOU.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU MARRIED MY DAUGHTER.

YOU WERE LIKE A SON TO ME.

LIKE A SON?

THAT'S RIGHT. UNTIL YOU BROKE HER HEART

AND IT ALL WENT SOUTH.

YEAH.

I WISH IT COULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT, JACK.

ME TOO. (SIGHS)

(BLOWS OUT A SIGH)

OKAY, I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING, JACK.

I'M GONNA BE VERY HONEST HERE.

WHEN I REALIZED THAT SCOTT WAS GONNA WIN THE RACE,

I SLOWED DOWN SO YOU COULD CATCH UP.

THE HELL YOU DID!

♪ I could kick your ass ♪

♪ Yeah, you in the looking glass ♪

♪ I'm gonna settle my accounts with you... ♪

♪ Whoa-ho! ♪

SO, THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL?

YEAH. WE NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY,

ONCE AND FOR ALL.

OKAY. BUT I WANT THIS TO BE FAIR.

DO YOU WANT A HEAD START?

(HALF LAUGHS) I DON'T NEED ONE.

GOOD.

HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO FAIR?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪