Original subtitles

YOU KNOW, LOU,

I THOUGHT IT WAS TOUGH GETTING TIME WITH YOU BEFORE,

BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

ONCE THE DUDE RANCH IS UP AND RUNNING...

YEAH, YOU'LL HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.

ALONE TIME. SAY THAT.

ALONE TIME.

HEY. IT'S NICE SEEING YOU AGAIN.

DANCE?

NO.

YOU GOT NO IDEA WHAT AMY CAN DO.

WELL, I FULLY INTEND TO FIND OUT,

COUNT ON IT.

BOTH: (GRUNTS OF STRUGGLE)

I SEE RAY'S STILL RUNNING THOSE LONGHORNS.

HE'S GOT A THOUSAND HEAD OF WHITE FACE,

AND HE CARES MORE ABOUT THOSE TWO.

A LOT OF THINGS ARE DIFFERENT.

NOW WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?

(HORSE WHINNIES)

(ALARM CLOCK BUZZES REPEATEDLY)

(SLEEPY MOAN)

LOU: ALL RIGHT, GUYS! EVERYBODY UP!

(YAWING) LET'S GO!

EVERYONE WAKE UP! BREAKFAST!

YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE, GUYS!

COME ON, EVERYBODY UP!

LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

JACK: WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD CALL HIM, LOU?

A... A GOOD FRIEND?

A FINE FRIEND? OR AN OLD FRIEND?

UH, YEAH, HOW ABOUT A FRIEND OF A FRIEND?

HOW 'BOUT A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?

LOU: ALL RIGHT, THE WORKS?

MALLORY: YES.

(UTENSILS AND DISHES CLANK)

YOU'RE GOOD. ALL RIGHT.

MALLORY: WHY CAN'T COPPER COME?

WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT LOU'S TRAIL HORSES

ARE SUITABLE FOR ANY DUDE TO RIDE.

AM I, LIKE, A GUINEA PIG?

NO, WE'RE ALL DOING IT, MALLORY.

IT'S LIKE TAKING THE HORSES FOR A TEST DRIVE.

WHOA!

'CEPT YOU CAN'T EVEN REACH THE PEDALS.

HEY!

LOU: COME ON, PEOPLE. HURRY HARD.

LET'S GO, GRAMPA. BREAKFAST IS HISTORY!

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA COME, LOU?

YOU COULD SLEEP IN MY TENT.

HEY, TY, WHAT'S THE HOLD UP?

I GUESS NOT.

IT'S BETTY.

SHE WON'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT SLICK.

SO LOAD THEM TOGETHER.

(HORSE GRUNTS)

HI. SORRY I'M LATE.

UM, ACTUALLY, I'M NOT LATE. YOU ALL ARE EARLY.

ARE WE IN A RUSH?

WELL, LOU'S GOT A KINDA...

DRILL SERGEANT THING GOING HERE.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

OH, YOU GOT A NEW SADDLE?

LOOK AT IT.

IT'S CALLED THE "E-Z GALLOP."

IT'S GOT WATER AND SNACK POCKETS...

LOOK AT ALL THE EXTRA PADDING.

AND THE AD SAYS IT'S LIKE RIDING ON PILLOWS!

AND IT'S DOCTOR RECOMMENDED FOR ARTHRITIS!

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ARTHRITIS.

NO, I BOUGHT IT FOR YOU.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE! WE'RE ROLLING!

WOW.

(DOOR THUDS SHUT, IGNITION TURNS)

THEY'RE GONE.

(GIGGLES)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪ And at the break of day ♪

♪ You sank into ♪

♪ Your dream ♪

♪ You dreamer ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh... ♪

♪ You dreamer ♪

♪ You dreamer ♪

(BIRDS SINGING)

RAY WAS A FINE RANCHER,

A VALUED FRIEND,

AND A GOOD NEIGHBOUR.

HE STARTED COWBOYIN' A WAY BACK

AND STAYED AT IT FOR 50 SOME ODD YEARS.

UH...

THERE'S NOTHING RAY ENJOYED MORE THAN...

WELL, AGGRAVATING A COW.

I SAW HIM THROW A ROPE ON ONE JUST TO HEAR IT BELLOW.

THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE,

HE MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT LEAVING ME HIS LONGHORNS.

I THOUGHT, "YOU SON-OF-A-GUN,

YOU PAWNING THOSE TWO GRASS GUZZLERS OFF ON ME

WHILE YOU GO SUN YOURSELF IN PHOENIX."

TURNS OUT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS WILL.

WELL, A COUPLE WEEKS AFTER THAT,

HIS DAUGHTER CALLIE CALLS.

I KNOW THAT HE WOULD'VE BEEN TICKLED

TO SEE ALL OF YOU HERE

AT WHAT WE'RE CALLING THE FIRST ANNUAL

RAY PHILLIPS MEMORIAL SPRING CATTLE DRIVE.

ATTENDEES: (APPLAUDING AND CHEERING)

SO, UH, LET'S MOUNT UP! WE'LL HEAD ON OUT!

ATTENDEES: (EAGER CHATTER) ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. YEAH, LET'S GO.

WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO INTRODUCE YOU

AT SOME POINT.

ATTENDEES: (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

(CALLING TO CATTLE)

(WHISTLES TO CATTLE)

(SHARP WHISTLE, CATTLE MOO)

MAN: LET'S GO.

MAN: HYAH! LET'S GO! (CALLS TO CATTLE)

(LATCH CLANKS, GATE SQUEAKS OPEN)

(CATTLE MOOING, CLOMP OF STAMPEDING HOOVES)

(GATE CREAKS SHUT)

MAN: (CALLING TO CATTLE)

(CATTLE MOO)

MAN: (WHISTLES AT CATTLE)

(MOOING)

(HORSE WHINNIES)

MEN: (CALLING AND WHISTLING TO CATTLE)

(PHONE RINGS)

MARNIE! HEY.

YEAH, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN AGES.

WHA... UH-HUH. I'D LOVE TO GO FOR LUNCH.

MMM... YEAH. TODAY'S NOT SO GOOD THOUGH

BECAUSE, WELL, MY WHOLE DAY'S KINDA BOOKED.

(RUMBLE OF APPROACHING TRUCK)

YOU KNOW WHAT, MARNIE? I'VE ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO.

YEAH. THAT ALL-DAY BOOKING THING JUST SHOWED UP.

OKAY, UH... LOOK, I PROMISE I'LL CALL YOU.

I'M SORRY. OKAY, BYE.

YOU SURE THEY ALL WENT, LOU?

LOU: I WRANGLED THEM INTO THEIR TRUCKS MYSELF.

SCOTT: OH YEAH?

YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING ANY CLIENTS

OR PROBLEM HORSES?

LOU: NO. THE DECKS ARE CLEAR.

HMM...

HOW 'BOUT ANY DELIVERIES? UH...

INTERIOR DECORATORS?

MM-MM. EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.

HMM... HOW 'BOUT BANKERS

COMING TO FORECLOSE THE MORTGAGE?

I AM ALL YOURS.

HMM, SO...

WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

CHAMPAGNE?

ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK AT 9:00 IN THE MORNING?

NO, I WAS THINKING MAYBE LATER.

LIKE, 9:30 OR 10:00!

(EXCITED SQUEALS)

MEN: (CALLING TO CATTLE) HA! HYAH! YAH!

LISA: WELL, HOW'S THAT SADDLE BREAKING IN FOR YA?

JACK: WELL, NO OFFENCE,

BUT I'M KINDA PARTIAL TO MY OLD ONE.

REALLY?

WELL, WHAT WAS ALL THAT COMPLAINING

ABOUT YOUR ARTHRITIS KICKING IN

AFTER THE FALL ROUND UP?

I DIDN'T COMPLAIN. I JUST MENTIONED IT.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA NOTICE A HUGE DIFFERENCE

AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS ON THE TRAIL IN THE RAIN,

LET ME TELL YA.

I'M ALREADY NOTICING I'M THE ONLY COWBOY HERE

RIDING ON A COUCH.

FIGURE THAT'S WHAT YOU AND TIM

MUST'VE BEEN GIGGLING ABOUT BACK THERE.

NO WE WEREN'T!

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT REAL ESTATE.

WELL, I DON'T SEE THE CONNECTION

BETWEEN MY SADDLE AND REAL ESTATE.

JACK.

WHAT?

WELL, THEY'RE BOTH ABOUT PROTECTING YOUR ASS-ETS.

BOTH: (LAUGHING)

(PHONE RINGS)

LOU: OH COME ON, SCOTT!

YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

I TOLD YOU, LOU. I'M ON CALL.

LOU: ACTUALLY, YOU DIDN'T.

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU HAD YOUR WHOLE DAY CLEARED.

(SIGHS) I TRIED.

BUT VETS TEND TO BE BUSY THIS TIME OF YEAR!

IS THERE A TIME OF YEAR WHEN THEY'RE NOT BUSY?

I'VE GOTTA TAKE THIS CALL, LOU.

(PHONE RINGING)

SCOTT HERE.

YES. OH, RIGHT. I'M ON MY WAY.

I SWEAR, I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN.

I HAD THE WHOLE DAY PLANNED, SCOTT.

(SIGHS GUILTILY)

PROMISE, I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

YOU BETTER.

CALL YOU.

YEAH, YEAH.

(BOTTLE CLANKS)

(THRUMS FINGERS ON BACK OF CHAIR)

(PHONE BEEPS)

HEY, MARNIE.

YEAH, IT TURNS OUT THAT ALL DAY THING

DIDN'T TAKE QUITE AS LONG AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD.

HMM.

(MOOING)

MEN: (CALLING TO CATTLE)

CALEB: LEFT HAND, LIKE SO.

JUST REMEMBER TO HOLD THE COILS SO THEY'RE ALL IN ORDER,

ELSE IT'LL ALL GET SNARLED.

RIGHT HAND, YOU GOTTA ADJUST THE DISTANCE -

DEPENDING ON THE JOB -

AND JUST REMEMBER,

IT DOES WHATEVER YOUR HAND DOES...

JUST A LITTLE BIGGER.

NOT SO FAST THERE, COWBOY.

(HORSE WHINNIES, AGITATED)

WHOA, WHOA. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT HORSE?

SOMETHING I SAID?

NO, I DON'T KNOW. HE'S JUST...

WANTING TO TURN BACK.

WELL, MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO RIDE DRAG

AND EAT DUST LIKE YOUR FRIEND TY.

(HALF LAUGHS)

EAT MY DUST, COWBOY.

(HORSES GRUNT)

I'LL ADMIT, HE DOES LOOK PRETTY GOOD ON A HORSE.

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

IT'S JUST THAT WHEN HE'S NOT ON A HORSE,

WHEN HE'S ON HIS OWN TWO FEET...

EVEN WHEN HE'S WEARING COWBOY BOOTS,

YOU KNOW, THE ONE'S WITH HEELS?

LOOKING GOOD ON A HORSE ISN'T EVERYTHING, MALLORY.

(DOG BARKING)

AMY AND CALEB: (LAUGHING PLAYFULLY)

NO, OF COURSE IT'S NOT!

AND RIDING, ROPING...

ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN CAN THROW A ROPE.

EVEN YOU LEARNED.

(COWS MOO)

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

HI.

HEY, JACK,

I NEVER FIGURED YOU FOR SUCH A HIGH-TECH GUY.

I'M JUST KEEPING UP WITH THE TIMES.

WELL, LISA WAS TELLING ME THAT SADDLE'S

MADE OF THE SAME STUFF THEY USE ON THE SPACE SHUTTLE.

THAT'S A HALF INCH OF FAST RECOVERY FOAM.

TIM: FAST RECOVERY? HUNH.

WE CAN USE IT TO RECOVER FROM ALL THE JOKES

PEOPLE ARE MAKING ABOUT THAT SADDLE.

HEY TIM, YOU UH... HAVE YOU MET CALLIE?

CALLIE'S RAY'S DAUGHTER, JUST CAME UP FROM CALGARY.

COME ON, LISA.

TIM: HI, CALLIE.

HI.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU,

I MEAN, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES...

OH. DON'T SAY "SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS" PLEASE.

WELL, ACTUALLY, IT HADN'T ENTERED MY MIND.

BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT.

YOU KNOW MY FATHER WOULD'VE LOVED THIS.

FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS

ABOUT RIDING IN THE RAIN FOR TWO DAYS

THAT YOU COWBOYS SEEM TO LIKE.

WELL, IT DEPENDS WHO YOU'RE RIDING WITH.

CALLIE: (LAUGHS)

I'M GLAD YOUR ALL DAY WHATEVER BAILED, LOU.

BECAUSE EVER SINCE I SAW YOUR WEBSITE -

HEARTLAND EQUESTRIAN CONNECTION -

I LOVE IT!

YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON

WHO HASN'T CALLED IT A DUDE RANCH.

TEAM BUILDING,

WORKING THROUGH TRUST ISSUES,

USING THE HORSE TO BALANCE MIND, BODY AND SPIRIT...

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO

WITH TAKING DUDES ON TRAIL RIDES?

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO GETS IT.

THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I WANTED US TO GET TOGETHER.

I GUESS YOU ALREADY HAVE A CATERER?

I MEAN, A REAL CATERER?

(HALF LAUGHS)

WE HAVEN'T, UM, BUDGETED

FOR A FULL-TIME PERSON YET.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT EVENT CATERING?

WEDDINGS? BIRTHDAYS?

FAMILY REUNIONS?

YEAH, WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING QUITE LIKE THAT BOOKED YET.

OUR FIRST GUESTS DON'T ARRIVE FOR ANOTHER WEEK.

AND IT'S JUST A COUPLE.

BUT, WHEN BUSINESS GETS ROLLING...

I THINK I WOULD BE A PERFECT FIT.

MM-HMM.

ALTHOUGH...

I DON'T REALLY FIT INTO MUCH THESE DAYS,

WHAT WITH THE BABY ON THE WAY.

YOU'RE PREGNANT.

YOU JUST THOUGHT I GOT FAT?

NO!

OKAY, YEAH!

BUT I DIDN'T WANNA SAY ANYTHING.

WE'RE DUE IN THE WINTER.

OH, MARNIE, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

THAT IS SO GREAT. (CELL PHONE RINGS)

UM...

I GOTTA GO. I UH...

I'M SORRY, IT'S SCOTT.

WOW. THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE.

YOU TWO FINALLY GOT TOGETHER.

YEAH, I'LL UM...

I'LL GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT.

(LOW HUM OF CHATTER)

GET 'EM IN THE WATER. HERE WE GO.

(CATTLE MOOING)

(SPLASHING)

MAN: (CALLS TO CATTLE)

(CATTLE MOOING AND BELLOWING)

UH, YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS COULD BE

JUST A BIT ABOVE MY SKILL LEVEL.

UH, NO, THE WATER'S ONLY GONNA COME UP TO HIS KNEES.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

NO, NO, NO.

I'VE BEEN BEHIND A DESK FOR YEARS IN CALGARY,

WHY DON'T I JUST WALK HIM ACROSS?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME YOUR LEG?

EXCUSE ME?

YOUR LEG.

MY LEG?

GIVE ME YOUR LEG.

OKAY.

PUT IT IN MY STIRRUP...

YEAH...

GIVE ME YOUR HAND. WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!

AND... UP!

CALLIE: (PANICKED YELPS)

TIM: THERE YOU GO. CALLIE: OKAY.

JUST LIKE THAT.

CALLIE: AHHH! SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.

ONCE OR TWICE.

(WHISTLES AND CALLS TO CATTLE)

CALLIE: (LAUGHING)

TIM: HANG ON TIGHT.

CALLIE: OKAY, OKAY.

YOUR DAD'S A LEGEND ON THE CIRCUIT.

(HORSE SNORTS)

WELL, YOU READY TO GET BACK ON YOUR HORSE?

OH... REALLY?

MAN, THIS CATTLE DRIVE THING WAS JUST GETTING GOOD.

TIM: (CHUCKLES)

OH, BE CAREFUL.

(CATTLE BELLOW)

MAN: (CALLS TO CATTLE)

CALEB: HEY, YOUR FRIEND BACK THERE?

WHAT'S HIS DEAL?

AFRAID TO GET HIS FEET WET?

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHEN TO QUIT, DO YOU?

(CATTLE MOOING AND BELLOWING)

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. EASY.

WHAT, SHE AFRAID OF WATER?

NAH, IT'S MORE LIKE

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHICH WAY IS WHICH.

COME ON, GIRL, LET'S GO. (CLICKS TONGUE)

SEEMS OKAY NOW.

YEAH, IT'S ALL GOOD.

(SPLASHING)

AMY: HOW WAS SHE ON THE TRAIL?

TY: PRETTY CLUMSY.

FIGURED I WAS DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

WHOA, WHOA.

(CATTLE BELLOWING)

IT'S NOT YOU...

THIS HORSE IS BLIND.

WOMAN: LOOK OUT! (CARS IMPACT, HORN HONKS)

DAMN IT!

SORRY...

WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS, NO DAMAGE DONE.

KEVIN: OH, YEAH? TELL THAT TO MY OSTEOPATH.

CONNIE: OH, PLEASE.

YOU'VE BEEN CARPING ABOUT THAT NECK OF YOURS FOR YEARS.

KEVIN: AT LEAST I CAN TURN MY HEAD.

WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR YOU.

MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING?

WHOA, WHOA! ME?! YOU CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

I TOLD HIM, KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE ROAD AND SLOW DOWN!

CONNIE, I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YOU: "BUTT OUT!"

YEAH, WELL I HAVE TWO WORDS FOR YOU;

CAN YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY ARE, DARLING?

KEVIN: OH, LET'S SEE. "NOT TONIGHT?"

YOU'VE BEEN USING THOSE TWO WORDS A LOT LATELY.

CONNIE: OH WELL, HOW 'BOUT "NOT EVER"?!

OKAY, ENOUGH!

HI. CAN YOU PLEASE DO ME A FAVOUR

AND MOVE YOUR STUPID, LITTLE GREEN CAR

OUT OF MY WAY?

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO WESTERN HOSPITALITY?

YEAH, TOO BAD I LEARNED MY PEOPLE SKILLS

IN NEW YORK CITY.

NOW MOVE YOUR DAMN CAR!

WELL, SHE DOES PRETTY WELL FOR A BLIND HORSE.

IT SORT OF EXPLAINS EVERYTHING,

DOESN'T IT?

YEAH. EXCEPT FOR... WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO NOW?

WELL...

THE WAY BETTY GLUES HERSELF TO SLICK,

AS LONG AS WE DON'T SEPARATE THEM,

WE'LL BE FINE.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR ROPING LESSONS?

I'M JUST SAYING.

WELL, DON'T.

(HORSE NICKERS)

(MEN CALL OUT TO CATTLE)

LISA: ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANNA TAKE A BREAK, JACK?

JACK: WHAT'S THE POINT OF THE FANCY SADDLE

IF YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP TAKING BREAKS?

LISA: WE COULD GO RIGHT THERE.

GET OUT OF THIS DRIVING RAIN FOR A MOMENT?

YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT TRAIL MIX AND WATER IN YOUR SADDLE.

JACK: I DON'T NEED A BREAK.

I DON'T NEED A REST.

I DON'T NEED NUTS OR BERRIES.

I'VE STILL GOT A LOTS MILES IN ME.

OKAY, I DON'T!

I NEED A BATHROOM!

WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

LISA: I DID! BUT EVER SINCE I GAVE YOU THAT SADDLE,

YOU HEAR WHAT YOU WANNA HEAR.

OH, I GET IT, NOW I'M HARD OF HEARING?

OH DEAR LORD...

JACK: (CLICKS TONGUE)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

WHY'S HE RINGING THE DOORBELL?

COME IN!

(DOORBELL RINGS)

YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO RING THE DOORBELL, SWEETIE.

YOU CAN JUST COME ON IN!

'CAUSE THE DOOR'S ALWAYS OP-EN.

OH.

(HOOVES CLOMP)

CALLIE: YOU KNOW,

EVEN THOUGH I MOVED TO CALGARY RIGHT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL,

I THINK I'M REALLY GONNA MISS ALL THIS.

TIM: WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

YOU JUST INHERITED A BIG CHUNK OF LAND.

I'M NOT SURE IF YOU NOTICED OR NOT,

BUT I DON'T THINK I'M REALLY CUT OUT FOR RANCHING.

(CHUCKLES)

WELL, AS FOREMAN, I CAN RUN THE DAY TO DAY,

YOU'D JUST HAVE TO WRITE THE CHEQUES.

NOW, YOU MAKE THAT SOUND TEMPTING.

TRUTH IS, EVEN BEFORE MY FATHER DIED,

I WAS FIELDING OFFERS.

DEVELOPERS.

I KNOW MY DAD WOULDN'T AGREE, BUT UH...

THERE'S AN AWFUL LOT MORE MONEY IN SUBDIVISIONS

THAN THERE IS IN CATTLE RANCHING.

MMM...

SO, I'M FIRED?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA HOLD THAT AGAINST ME ARE YOU?

WELL, WE'LL HAVE TO SEE ABOUT THAT.

LOU: UH, YES, IT'S TRUE.

KEVIN AND CONNIE MILTOWN.

IT'S MILTON.

MILTON.

YOU DO HAVE A RESERVATION...

FOR NEXT WEEKEND.

NEXT WEEKEND?

SO WHY ARE WE HERE THIS WEEKEND?

OH, LIKE YOU NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE?

I DID ONCE.

I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO HONOUR YOUR RESERVATION...

NEXT WEEKEND.

WE'RE SPELUNKING IN JASPER NEXT WEEKEND.

UNLESS SOMEONE GOT THAT WRONG TOO?

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, KEV.

IT'LL MAKE FOR AN AMUSING POST ON MY BLOG.

YOUR BLOG?

MM-MM. PROS'N'CONNIES.

THE TRAVEL BLOG?

YEAH. I GET A ZILLION HITS A WEEK!

ZILLIONS. YEAH.

I'M ALWAYS ON THE LOOKOUT FOR NEW MATERIAL.

SO, LET'S SAY YOU SHOWED UP A WEEK EARLY

AND THE FRIENDLY GAL AT THE FRONT DESK

BENT OVER BACKWARDS TO HELP YOU OUT?

(HALF LAUGHS, MORDANT) NOT REALLY MUCH OF A STORY.

YEAH, BENDING OVER BACKWARDS

IS WHAT THE HOSPITALITY INDUSTRY IS ALL ABOUT.

WHAT IF I COMPED YOU THE WHOLE WEEKEND,

FOR THE INCONVENIENCE?

YOU KNOW, FREE? GRATIS.

WOW.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN TORONTO.

YOU'RE RIGHT, KEV.

THAT WOULD MAKE A WONDERFUL STORY!

ESPECIALLY IF YOU INCLUDED AN UPGRADE.

UP... UPGRADE?

YEAH. DEFINITELY.

UPGRADE.

AMY: DO YOU HEAR THAT?

TY: I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

AMY: COWS.

SOUNDS LIKE THE HERD'S JUST UP AHEAD.

HEY, IF YOU WANNA CATCH UP WITH WHAT'S HIS NAME,

IT'S OKAY.

WHO? CALEB?

I JUST MEANT... I DON'T WANNA HOLD YOU BACK

IF YOU AND HIM ARE...

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THIS EASY, AMY.

NO, NO YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD

FOR HANGING OUT WITH CALEB.

BUT YOU CAN LEAVE FOR - WHAT? -

FOUR MONTHS AND NOT EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

COME ON, AMY.

YOU KNEW IT WAS ABOUT MY DAD.

NO, I DON'T. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING...

ABOUT YOUR DAD, ABOUT YOU.

YOU NEVER EVEN BOTHERED TO TELL ME.

WHOA.

(HORSE NICKERS, AGITATED)

ARE GONNA HALF TO STAY BULLS UNTIL TOMORROW.

YEAH, NOT TODAY. TOMORROW.

WELL, I CAN SEE SOMEONE GOT A HEAD START

ON THE CHAMPAGNE?

OH, UM...

I WASN'T EXPECTING COMPANY.

HEH, NEITHER WAS LOU.

BUT SHE'S MADE US FEEL MORE THAN WELCOME.

OH, A WELCOME BOUQUET!

WHAT A WONDERFUL TOUCH.

(STUNNED HALF LAUGH)

YEAH, THAT'S LOU. SHE'S UM...

VERY WELCOMING. UH...

I'M JUST GONNA NIP OUT

AND HAVE A LITTLE CONVERSATION WITH HER.

CONNIE: OH! SHE'S AT THE CABINS.

KEVIN: WOW! AN AUTHENTIC NATIVE GUIDE?

THEY GOT EVERYTHING HERE.

(GIGGLES)

THIS IS CRAZY!

WE HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM, LOU!

I TRIED TO GET RID OF THEM. SCOTT,

BUT THEY'RE BLOGGERS!

A BAD REP IN THE BLOGOSPHERE COULD BE A DEATH SENTENCE!

YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE DRINKING MY CHAMPAGNE!

THAT IS THE LEAST OF MY WORRIES!

WHAT AM I GONNA DO WHEN THEY'RE FINISHED

DRINKING YOUR CHAMPAGNE?

AMY AND GRAMPA TOOK THE TRAIL RIDE HORSES.

I HAVE NOTHING TO FEED THEM.

AND AS FOR THE AUTHENTIC WESTERN EXPERIENCE,

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

HAVE THEM MUCK OUT THE BARN?

(FRUSTRATED SIGH)

THAT'S RIGHT. REMEMBER THAT?

KEVIN: (LAUGHING) I REMEMBER THAT.

THAT IS.

WHO'S UP FOR SOME BRANDING AND CASTRATING?

UH, THAT MIGHT BE ALMOST TOO AUTHENTIC.

BUT WE'RE WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING!

HAVE EVER TRIED PRAIRIE OYSTERS?

CONNIE: NO, BUT WE BOTH LOVE SEAFOOD, DON'T WE, KEV?

MM-MMM.

LOVE IT!

MALLORY: HOW ABOUT A GAME OF CRAZY EIGHTS?

YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

WELL, THERE'S GONNA BE MUSIC,

AND ONCE THE MUSIC STARTS,

JAKE'S GONNA ASK ME TO DANCE!

(SIGHS)

SO, YOU'RE GONNA AVOID THE ISSUE

INSTEAD OF TELLING HIM THE TRUTH?

WORKED FOR YOU.

I MEAN, WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD AMY THE TRUTH

WHY YOU REALLY LEFT?

IT'S COMPLICATED.

OF COURSE, ANOTHER HUGE COMPLICATED ISSUE

THAT NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY EVER TALK ABOUT!

OKAY. MAYBE I DIDN'T HANDLE THINGS

AS WELL AS I COULD HAVE.

WELL, YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

TO DEAL WITH THAT, RIGHT?

(LOW HUM OF CHATTER)

OH MY GOD! THERE HE IS!

(PHONE BUTTONS BEEP)

MARNIE, HEY! YEAH, IT'S LOU.

LISTEN, ABOUT THAT CATERING...

MM-HMM. YEAH, NOT SO MUCH NEXT WEEK;

MORE LIKE RIGHT NOW.

LISTEN, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU MAKE,

BUT IF IT COULD BE AUTHENTIC WESTERN CUISINE,

THAT WOULD BE A HUGE BONUS!

MM-HMM.

HEY.

I HEAR YOU GOT YOURSELF A BLIND HORSE.

YEAH, WE FIGURED IT OUT

WHEN TY HAD SOME TROUBLE GETTING ACROSS THE RIVER.

SORTA LIKE YOUR FRIEND.

OH, RAY'S DAUGHTER? CALLIE?

UH, SHE FIRED ME.

REALLY?

HM. YOU WERE LET GO?

SEE, FROM WHERE I WAS,

IT LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS HOLDING ON PRETTY TIGHT.

YEAH, WELL...

HONEY, YOU KNOW WE'VE NEVER REALLY TALKED ABOUT...

IT'S-IT'S-IT'S BEEN UH... FOR ME...

I JUST... I LIKE HER.

EVEN THOUGH SHE FIRED YOU?

WELL, ESPECIALLY 'CAUSE SHE FIRED ME.

I MEAN, THE LAST PERSON YOU WANNA GO DATING

IS YOUR BOSS, RIGHT?

(SNORTED CHUCKLE)

I GUESS.

WHAT, YOU CAME HERE TO ASK ME IF IT'S OKAY?

WELL, THIS IS NEW TO ME AS IT IS TO YOU,

AND I JUST MET THE WOMAN, SO...

I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO GET ALL WORKED UP ABOUT IT.

(HORSE SNORTS)

WOULD IT BE OKAY?

(CHUCKLES)

WHATEVER. (LAUGHS)

THIS IS ALREADY WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR ME.

WELL!

THAT WAS CERTAINLY AN EYE-OPENER.

OH HEY, THANKS TO SCOTT,

WE KNOW THAT PRAIRIE OYSTERS AIN'T FROM THE SEA.

THAT'S GREAT.

HOW 'BOUT YOU GUYS TAKE A BREATHER

OVER BY THE FIRE

AND DINNER WILL BE READY ANY MINUTE.

DINNER? WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

JUST MAKE 'EM A SANDWICH AND SEND THEM TO BED!

MARNIE: WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO SET UP, LOU?

OH, JUST RIGHT THERE.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, SCOTT?

THERE'S HORS D'OEUVRES ROTTING IN THE TRUCK.

AND THAT MUD PIE'S NOT GONNA WALK HERE ON ITS OWN!

(STARTLED GASP)

LISTEN, I'M SORRY, BUT, WE NEED TO TALK.

I NEED TO TALK.

THERE'S PROBLEMS. A MILLION PROBLEMS LIKE...

I'M ARIES, YOU'RE PISCES;

YOU'RE NOT A BIG TALKER, I'M A TALK-A-HOLIC;

YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY, I'M A LITTLE BIT ROCK'N'ROLL.

YOU'RE TOO SHORT!

I'LL GROW.

WANT TO DANCE?

AFTER YOU.

WELL, I GOTTA SAY,

I'M SURPRISED YOU'RE STILL HERE,

GIVEN YOUR OPINION ON RANCHING AND COWBOYS.

I SAID I WASN'T INTERESTED IN COWS.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT COWBOYS.

WHAT ABOUT UNEMPLOYED COWBOYS?

THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM. (CHUCKLES)

SO YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE A KILLING IN REAL ESTATE,

AREN'T YOU WORRIED THAT ONE OF THOSE UNEMPLOYED COWBOYS

MIGHT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU?

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR.

UM...

WELL, THEN I GUESS THE NEXT THING I SHOULD DO

IS ASK YOU TO DANCE.

BUT MY DAUGHTER'S OVER THERE AND SHE'S GOT ISSUES.

OKAY. I'VE NEVER DANCED IN A TRAILER BEFORE,

BUT I'LL GIVE IT A WHIRL.

(HANDLE CLICKS OPEN)

♪ And whisper softly she understands ♪

(MUSIC PLAYS, LOW HUM OF CHATTER)

LISA: YOU WANNA TURN IN EARLY?

JACK: WHAT'RE YOU GETTIN' AT, LISA?

YOU THINK I CAN'T STAY UP PAST 9:00?

NO, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

MAYBE NOT, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN TREATING ME

LIKE A RELIC OF THE OLD WEST

EVER SINCE YOU BOUGHT ME THAT RIDICULOUS SADDLE.

JACK, THAT'S WHAT I DO:

I FUSS, I WORRY...

I BUY INAPPROPRIATE GIFTS;

THAT'S JUST WHAT I DO WITH SOMEONE I LOVE.

(TAKEN ABACK) UM, SOMEONE...

WELL, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SAY IT,

BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU HOW I...

♪ The subtle hints my heart's conveying ♪

♪ When I feel lost she takes my hand ♪

♪ And whispers softly she understands ♪

(DISHES CLANK)

KEVIN: MMM!

MMMM!

THAT WAS DELICIOUS.

BEST MUD PIE I'VE EVER EATEN.

CAN I OFFER YOU ANOTHER SLICE?

WELL...

UH, WE HAVE A LOT OF BLOGGING TO DO,

DON'T WE, HONEY?

HI-SPEED? OUT HERE? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.

THAT'S WHAT IT SAID ON THE WEBSITE.

FREE WI-FI?

I HAVE DIAL-UP IN MY OFFICE.

SEE YOU GUYS AT BREAKFAST?

MMMM! HUEVOS RANCHEROS!

HASTA LA VISTA!

(RELIEVED SIGHS)

SO YOU TWO...

LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP?

(TEA CUPS CLANK)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

JACK'S GOT SOME PRETTY SWEET MOVES.

YEAH. YEAH,

THAT LITTLE SLIDE THING HE DOES IS CUTE.

(HALF LAUGHS) HE'S A PRETTY AWESOME GUY.

THAT NIGHT IN CALGARY, HE REALLY SAVED MY BUTT.

OKAY, YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT MY DAD?

PRETTY MUCH MY WHOLE LIFE, HE'S BEEN IN AND OUT OF PRISON.

WHEN I WAS A KID,

AND WE USED TO GO AND VISIT HIM...

HE USED TO TEACH ME ALL THIS NEAT STUFF.

I THOUGHT HE WAS A MAGICIAN.

HE WAS UH...

PRETTY GOOD AT MAKING STUFF DISAPPEAR:

CARDS,

MONEY,

HIMSELF...

WHEN THE MONEY WAS GONE.

SO, IF YOU KNEW ALL THIS,

THEN WHY DID YOU GO SEE HIM?

I DON'T KNOW.

I UH...

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOU.

BECAUSE OF ME?

WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT SECOND CHANCES.

THERE WAS A... A GUY IN VANCOUVER

MY DAD SAID THAT HAD OFFERED HIM A JOB AND...

I WANTED TO BELIEVE HIM.

BUT THERE WAS NO JOB AND...

HE USED MY MONEY

TO GET INTO A HARDCORE POKER GAME.

SO THEN, WHY DID YOU STICK AROUND?

HE'S MY DAD, AMY.

I COULDN'T JUST LEAVE HIM THERE,

SO WE CAME BACK TO CALGARY, I GOT A JOB WORKING...

YOU WERE IN CALGARY?

TY, CALGARY'S AN HOUR AWAY!

I KNOW. I SHOULD'VE CALLED YOU,

I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU WHAT WAS GOING ON.

BUT...

AMY, I DIDN'T WANNA LIE.

THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING

THAT I EVER WANTED TO SAY TO YOU,

BUT I WASN'T SURE YOU STILL WANTED TO HEAR IT.

I SHOULD GO CHECK ON THE COWS.

IT'S MY SHIFT. TY...

(LAUGHS, ELATED)

BUT I'VE REALLY GOT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH JERRY.

WITH OUR CRAZY SCHEDULES,

IT'S A MIRACLE WE EVEN MANAGED TO GET PREGNANT!

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TO GET A LOT CRAZIER.

BECAUSE NEXT WEEK...

WE ACTUALLY OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

OH, WELL, NO WORRIES.

I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YA!

COME HERE! FINALLY!

I THOUGHT SHE'D NEVER LEAVE.

(HEAVY SIGH)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I GUESS I'LL BE GOING TOO.

WHAT? WE'VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR THIS!

WELL, I GOTTA GET UP PRETTY EARLY,

AND TO BE HONEST,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE POINT IS.

OH, YOU DON'T, DO YOU?

I THINK YOU DO.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

ONCE YOU GET YOUR DUDE RANCH GOING,

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST CALL IT IN.

THAT COULD BE FUN.

(SIGHS) I'M NOT JOKING, LOU.

I'M ALWAYS YOUR SECOND PRIORITY.

I ALWAYS COME SECOND.

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

TWO TOTAL STRANGERS SHOW UP

AND YOU JUST DROP EVERYTHING?

WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

KICK THEM OUT.

YEAH, MY FIRST CLIENTS?

LOU, YOU DON'T GET IT! I DIDN'T SIGN UP

TO BE THE TRADITIONAL NATIVE GUIDE

FOR YOUR HOTEL!

IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?

YOU KNOW THAT WAS A ONE TIME THING.

TODAY WAS A ONE TIME THING.

HOW IS THAT MY FAULT?

OUR ONE CHANCE TO SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER.

YOU COULDN'T EVEN TAKE A SINGLE LOUSY DAY OFF!

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, LOU.

WHAT DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT?

I LOVE YOU...

BUT WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING

OR THIS IS ALL GONNA FALL APART.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK.

MAYBE WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.

MARRIED?

COW: (MOOS)

(LATCHES AND GATE CLATTER)

CALEB: YOU'RE LATE. WHAT'VE YOU BEEN DOING?

NOT MUCH.

YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL GO SEE WHAT AMY'S DOING.

'CAUSE I'M BETTING NOT MUCH EITHER.

'CAUSE IF IT WOULDA BEEN ME BACK THERE WITH HER...

HEY, FORGET IT, OKAY?

WELL...

I WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT HER IN THE LURCH

TO COME WATER A BUNCH OF COWS.

I'M WARNING YOU, MAN.

AND MORE THAN LIKELY, SHE'D BE BEGGING ME TO STAY.

(GATE RATTLES AGAINST IMPACT)

TY: (GRUNTS)

(SOUNDS OF STRUGGLE, CATTLE MOOING)

TY: WHOA! STOP!

OH MAN! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

(LAUGHING, LOW HUM OF CHATTER, COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS)

♪ I've got so... ♪

♪ So much love to give ♪

♪ Won't you take some... ♪

(CATTLE MOOING)

OH MY GOD!

(BELLOWING AND MOOING)

JACK: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,

JUST KEEP IT DOWN, KEEP IT DOWN!

DON'T GET 'EM RUNNING!

LET'S PUSH 'EM BACK TO THE PENS,

NICE AND EASY HERE.

(MOOING)

YOU GOTTA WONDER

WHERE OUR SO-CALLED TRAIL BOSS IS?

♪ Is it worth every minute of it ♪

♪ Are you worth every minute of my love ♪

(CATTLE MOO LOUDLY)

TIM: WHAT?

UGH!

TIM: HAMD ME MY HAT.

HEY! GET OUTTA HERE!

YOU'RE LEAVING?

NOW?!

OH... THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I HATE RANCHING.

HEY, YOU'RE OKAY, GIRL.

YOU'RE FRIEND'S RIGHT HERE.

THERE YOU GO.

(CATTLE MOOING)

COME ON, LET'S GO. (CLICKS HER TONGUE)

LET'S GO. (CLICKS TONGUE)

COME ON. (SHOOS COWS)

(CLAPS HANDS)

THERE COMIN' YOUR WAY, LISE!

JACK AND LISA: (LAUGH)

LISA: I GOT 'EM. GOT 'EM! WOOO!

(LAUGHS)

ALL RIGHT.

(MOOS)

GOT IT!

MALLORY: WHOA! WAY TO GO!

OH MY GOD, JAKE!

JAKE!

THAT'S GOT TO BE PRETTY WELL IT.

I DON'T GET IT? HOW DID THE COWS GET OUT?

EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WONDERIN'.

UH, ONE OF THE PANELS... IT SWUNG OPEN.THE GATE,

CAME LOOSE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I...

GOT KICKED BY A COW.

OH.

THAT SAME HIGH-KICKING COW TEAR YOUR SHIRT?

NO, IT WAS ONE OF THEM DAMN LONGHORNS.

(STAMMERS) I NEARLY GOT GORED.

YEAH, WELL, WORD TO THE WISE, BOYS -

NOT THAT EITHER OF YOU QUALIFY -

BUT A MAN LIKES TO ENJOY A PEACEFUL SLEEP,

KNOWING HE WON'T BE WOKEN UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

BY A BUNCH OF RUNAWAY COWS. YOU GET MY DRIFT?

CALEB: YOU WANT US TO STAY OUT HERE?

WELL, THERE STILL MIGHT BE SOME STRAGGLERS

COMING IN, YEAH.

ALL NIGHT?

WELL, I DON'T MEAN ALL DAY.

FIGURE THE TWO OF YOU ARE FULL OF ENOUGH BULL

YOU CAN KEEP YOURSELVES ENTERTAINED UNTIL MORNING.

MARNIE.

I AM FLIPPING EGGS. I AM FLIPPING TORTILLAS.

I'M FLIPPING THEM ON TO THE PLATES!

BUT I AM NOT FLIPPING OUT.

CILANTRO? BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY CILANTRO!

WELL, WHAT KIND OF SUBSTITUTION?

ITALIAN PARSLEY?

HUEVOS RANCHEROS, ISN'T THAT MEXICAN?

WHAT DOES ITALIAN PARSLEY HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY.

SOMETHING GREEN?

NOW THAT I CAN HANDLE THAT.

HAS TO BE EDIBLE? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?

WHY CAN'T I JUST OPEN A CAN, OPEN A JAR,

PUT OUT SOME CORN TORTILLAS AND CALL IT A DAY?

(SIGHS)

(BOWL CLATTERS ONTO TABLE)

ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT BAD.

TASTES PRETTY GOOD, TOO.

TURNS OUT, YOU DON'T MISS THE CILANTRO AFTER ALL.

THANKS, MARNIE. BYE.

(SIGHS)

SO, YOU'RE SURE ABOUT THIS?

CALLIE: YEAH.

IT'S A BIG DECISION.

I'M GOOD WITH IT. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

HEY...

YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING.

WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, I DON'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER.

AH, SURE.

LET'S KEEP IN TOUCH.

(CAR RUMBLES OFF)

(BUTTONS DIAL)

HEY, IT'S TIM.

JUST KEEPING IN TOUCH.

♪ I've got so... so much love to give ♪

LOU: SO, HOW WAS THE CATTLE DRIVE?

IT WAS OKAY.

JUST OKAY?

IT WAS GREAT.

IT WAS THE BEST DAMN CATTLE DRIVE

IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE WORLD.

MALLORY: YOU WOULD'VE HATED IT.

STAMPEDES, FIST FIGHTS,

TY GOT KICKED IN THE FACE BY A COW,

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE TOILETS.

(GATE SQUEAKS OPEN, LATCHES CLATTER)

♪ Is it worth every minute of it ♪

HEY LOU! THOSE THE HORSES?

KEVIN: IS IT TIME FOR THE TRAIL RIDE?

CONNIE: I'M SO EXCITED! I CAN'T WAIT!

LOU?

MY FIRST GUESTS.

THEY JUST SHOWED UP...

A WEEK EARLY.

CONNIE: HEY THERE, COWBOY!

WHAT ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND WITH SCOTT?

YOU KNEW?

HARD TO MISS.

IT UH...

IT DIDN'T QUITE WORK OUT ACCORDING TO PLAN.

KEVIN: (LAUGHS)

SO, WHO'S READY TO RIDE THE RANGE?

CONNIE AND KEVIN: OH! WOO HOO!

THIS'LL BE GREAT FOR MY BLOG!

KEVIN: LET'S HIT THE TRAIL! HA HA!

TIM: YOU KNOW, CALLIE, ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

I...

IT WASN'T EXACTLY SOMETHING I WAS LOOKING FOR, BUT...

IT WAS NICE.

(CHUCKLES) IT WAS A NICE SURPRISE.

YEAH, BUT PEOPLE ARE GONNA TALK.

YEAH, I KNOW, IT LOOKS REALLY BAD.

THEY'RE GONNA SAY I WAS USING YOU.

AND WERE YOU?

WELL, IF YOU GET TO KNOW ME BETTER,

YOU PROBABLY WON'T HAVE TO ASK THAT QUESTION.

YEAH. AND WHEN'S THAT GOING TO TO START?

I THINK IT JUST DID.

CALLIE: (CHUCKLES)

YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

I AM SURE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING.

IT'S A RIDICULOUS SADDLE.

IT'S GOT ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES.

ONE THING YOU DON'T NEED

IS MORE BELLS AND WHISTLES.

HEY! HEY, JACK!

JACK, LISA.

JACK, I GOTTA THANK YOU FOR INTRODUCING ME TO CALLIE.

MY PLEASURE.

YEAH. YOU KNOW, IT MUST'VE BEEN SOMETHING YOU SAID

ABOUT THOSE OLD LONGHORNS, BECAUSE...

WELL, I JUST COULDN'T STAND TO SEE 'EM LEFT BEHIND.

YOU BOUGHT RAY'S LONGHORNS?

I BOUGHT THE LONGHORNS. YEAH.

AND CALLIE SOLD ME THE WHOLE DAMN OUTFIT.

(LAUGHS) 601 ACRES.

I GOTTA TELL THE GIRLS.

(TRUCK RUMBLES AWAY)

WELL...

(SADDLE THUDS INTO TRUNK)

SO, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NOW?

WELL, I GUESS AS LONG AS WE DON'T SEPARATE THEM,

THEY'LL BE FINE.

♪ Is it worth every minute of it ♪

♪ Are you worth every minute of my love ♪

I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE HORSES!

YEAH. ME TOO.

♪ Baby, I don't care ♪

♪ Baby, I don't care ♪

♪ I just wanna be touched ♪