All language subtitles for Doctor.Foster.S02E05.HDTV.x264-ORGANiC

I was born here.

I grew up here. My friends are here,

my work is here. There's
only one way I'm leaving now

and that's in a coffin.

That's good to know.

It's better if you go back to your mum.

But you said this is my home.

- Tom!
- I'll drop your things round later.

- Tom!
- I never want to see him again.

You're not going to waste 15 years.

Tonight's when you escape.

What's going on?

- You're not taking her.
- You're never going to see me again.

- Come on!
- You're never going to see Amelie again.

- You're obsessed.
- Please, Kate.

Have her!

My daughter! My family!

- I didn't do any of that.
- No, no,

- no!
- Your wife and your daughter have moved away.

Your mother is dead and
you threw your own son out

- so there's nothing left for you here.
- You think you've won.

Look, I'm still here.

Where are you going?

To get my son.

We need to talk.

WHISPERS: Shit! Shit.

Shit.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

We need to go. Your
dad knows where we are.

But you said I didn't have to see him.

What does he want?

To talk to you. Kate
has gone with Amelie,

he's been kicked out
of his house, his work.

Could you help me, please?

I just thought once
everyone left him, he'd...

... realise it was over.

Where are we going?

Home.

We have to go.

If he wants to talk, maybe I should.

What would you say?

No, it's a bad idea.

It's fine, it's going to be OK.

Tom?

This'll be the next place he'll try.

I had the locks changed.

And we can always call the police.

Where is everything?

Gone, most of it, but
your room's in storage.

Anna sorted it before she left.

We agreed, remember? New start?

It's weird.

Yeah, I know.

Look, Tom, in the end, I
can't order him to leave.

But at least now there's
less reason for him to stay.

What are these?

I was hoping by now he'd be gone and

we'd come back home with a blank slate,

we'd want to make some
decisions about the future.

We've never had a new kitchen.

Yeah, right?

I thought you'd help me choose.

I might move out next year.

Max's sister did it when
she was 16, lived by herself.

She said it was possible.

What did your dad say, about
me, that made you go with him?

I told you, it doesn't matter.

I thought we were...
We were never like this.

Choose what you want.

Mum?

He's just standing there.

Tom.

No.

Tom, this isn't a good idea.

Mate.

- Can I talk to you, please?
- Yeah.

- Go on, then.
- No, I meant without your mum.

Say it here.

All right. Well, I assume she's
told you what's happened with Kate...

... and Amelie. I'm
obviously upset and...

I suppose I need your help.

- Simon, he's 15.
- Shut up!

I was looking after my mum
when I was 15. 15 is old.

Stop trying to protect him,
it doesn't work. Does it, mate?

I'm sorry I didn't let you in the house.

Kate was concerned after what you did.

- Oh, so it's my fault.
- I thought we'd sort it out in time, but now...

The thing is, I literally
don't know who else to turn to.

Mum gave you some money
to get a hotel room.

Yeah, well, I don't want her...

- I don't want that.
- Why not?

Stay away from him.

Sometimes children have to
look after their parents.

It's not like I'm the
only one to blame, she's...

Are you going to stay with your mum now,

after everything we spoke about?

- What are you doing?
- Asking questions...

No, you're using me to get at her.

- I just need...
- You're obsessed.

... someone who understands me.

- Well, I don't.
- OK, well, we just...

- Leave us alone!
- Just...

If I had a knife now, I'd stab you,

I would, I would stab you.

Here and here and here.

You should stab yourself.

Maybe I will. Maybe I will!

- Are you OK?
- What did you say to him as I walked away?

- What?
- He shouted at you.

Maybe I will. Will what?

I told him to leave us alone.

DOORBELL

- I'll deal with it.
- Why won't he stop?

- What does he want?
- It's fine. Go upstairs.

Hi. We've just moved in across the way.

I'm Lucy. This is Harry and Matty.

- Gemma.
- Hi!

- Hi.
- We're just exploring, meeting people, so...

My husband just got this
new job. Short notice, so...

- You're in the middle of something.
- No, look, erm...

Maybe tomorrow, if you're around then...

... we could chat. Is that OK?

Perfect. Have a good evening.

OK, bye. Will you say bye-bye?

- Bye.
- Bye.

He's gone, then?

Don't worry, I'm back.

Safe and sound, the breadwinner returns.

Hey, how was physics?

- Yeah, good.
- Are you going to say hello?

- Hello!
- Charming.

I thought you were back at six.

Right, well, I'm an increasingly
successful entrepreneur.

Most of them tend to work
until the early hours,

but you are lucky to have a
husband with the right priorities.

The fact that I'm back home at seven

is testament to the importance
of my family in my life.

Well, I'm glad you
spelled that out for me.

You wouldn't believe the amount
of paperwork I have to do.

You're talking to a GP.

Have you packed for the weekend?

- Do it in a minute.
- Where you off to?

- London?
- Hemel Hampstead.

Ooh, the glamour.

Quite nice, actually. What's this?

Oh, I thought I'd cook something
before my husband got too old to eat.

40's the new 30.

Ah, 40 is old.

You're nearly 40 yourself.

I will never be 40.

- Magic potion?
- Moisturiser.

- Is that what it is?
- Yeah.

Yeah, that's what it is.

So, Tom's worried that we're
out of the house too much.

He wants me home earlier.

You haven't spoken to him
about it, said anything?

- What do you mean?
- About my hours.

Like being annoyed
with them or anything?

- He must have got it from somewhere.
- No.

OK. OK, fine.

- Can you pack?
- Absolutely.

Do you know where your suitcase is?

- In the loft.
- No, it's in the wardrobe.

Right. What am I
getting for my birthday?

A smack in the face
if you ask that again!

Well, congratulations.

Cheers. Well, here's to you.

- Cheers. Thank you.
- Congratulations.

Sorry I missed the reception.

Well, you saw us getting
married, that's the main thing.

My speech was really funny.

Loads of laughs.

Which is not exactly what a
groom is meant to be after.

I still made you cry. Three times.

So what's happening with school?

Karen said it's permanent exclusion,

but we're going to appeal the decision.

So it goes to the governors?

Well, generally, it's a fair process,

but either way, we need a quick decision

cos Tom's got his exams to think about.

- Mm.
- Tom?

He won't have any
problems with his exams.

Don't say that, it's really hard work.

He always works hard!

Don't you?

Well, look, the important thing

is you two are back
at home with friends.

Let's start looking
after each other now, OK?

I'd like that.

Is Simon still about?

We're not going to see him again.

- That's what Tom wants.
- But he's staying at... ?

- We don't know where he is.
- What time we going home?

When we've finished.

Tom was saying he might
move out next year.

- Oh.
- What?! Why?

- It's a good idea.
- Don't encourage him.

He's 16, he's grown-up.

Nearly 16 and where's he going to live?

- Find a place, won't you?
- Money?

Get a job.

Claim benefits.

It's independence,
people don't do it enough.

Of course, you have to
declare yourself homeless

before the council will help
you out. You'd rent, deposit.

Technically, you need
your parents' consent.

And you have to work all the
hours in the day, I'd imagine.

I really want to go now.

KNOCKING

- Oh, God.
- Call the police.

No.

- Want me to get rid of him?
- I'll talk to him.

No. OK, OK.

- Just get rid of him.
- It's OK.

I'll go. You stay here.

It should be me in there.

- What?
- It should be me with you and Tom,

our friends, having dinner.

- Right, well, I think you know why that...
- It's possible.

- The offer still stands.
- You could just decide to forgive everything.

- What?!
- You're not the right one in this.

We are as bad as each other.

- No.
- You told Kate

I was trying to make her like you.

You manipulated her,
you took her away from me

and it wasn't for any good reason.

- Tom wanted you gone.
- It was revenge.

It made you feel good to
win, that's all it was.

OK, how does this end, Simon?

Because we're outside, it's late and...

It ends with us admitting
we both got it so wrong,

letting it all go...

... and getting back together.

SHE SCOFFS

- Don't be ridiculous.
- We're attracted to each other,

so that works.

We can be his parents again.

I'll get some job, earn a bit of
money, but we give Tom stability.

No. When it's just the three of us
together it works, you know that.

We could decide to be a family again.

Forgive each other for the sake

- of the rest of our lives.
- Simon...

It's not too late.

I move back in, we just get on with it.

It's been a bad couple of years,

but we could be proud that
we got him back on track.

You think that we should get
back together for the sake of Tom?

- Not just Tom.
- You think that that's in any way what he wants?

It's what I want.

I think you do too, really.

Underneath.

I brought you something.

In...

In this moment, my life is
basically over, can you take this?

- No.
- Please.

Please.

Thank you.

Sort yourself out and move on.

- Your life isn't over.
- I don't want to move on.

We are never letting
you back into our lives.

- Gemma, please.
- You're ruining my evening.

How much is it going to
take for you to go away?

Fucking insulting.

You don't have any idea
what I'm feeling right now.

I should choke you to death.

One minute you say how easy it
would be to get back together with us

and the next minute you're saying
you want to choke me to death?

That's every family,
because you care about them!

You get what's happening?

If you leave this,

if you walk away, I will stab myself.

- You want me to.
- Simon, don't be stupid, I didn't mean that...

Yeah, but you did, you did mean it.

It's OK, it's all right.

- Tom.
- Can you come back inside, please?

- Tom.
- Mum?

Yes.

Mate, you just going to ignore
me, then, like I don't exist?

Tom...

You tell yourself
these stories about how

you actually are a good dad
or a good husband or whatever,

and it's all total shit.

The only way you get through
life is by lying to yourself,

because if you stopped, you'd
realise you're a massive failure.

That is the actual truth, isn't it?

So we're done.

YOU can go away now.

Tom, come back inside.

Tom...

Thanks.

LIGHT KNOCKING

You need to call the police.
Get an order against him.

He got the message this time.

Tom...

Tom was very clear.

Good.

Look, I'm glad you called tonight.

You left before I had a
chance to give this to you.

Maybe now let's call it
a welcome home present.

- Present?
- We can have a new start.

Some new things.

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

Want to try them on?

Um...

You like?

I love them.

- I might just get some water.
- Sure.

You never talk about your mum and dad.

I thought you were asleep.

I know they died in a car
accident when you were a teenager.

Yeah.

16. About your age.

Right. But apart from
that, I don't know anything.

- What did they do?
- Dad was a lecturer in history

and Mum worked in a nursing home.

Did you like them?

- I loved them.
- Were they together and loved you?

I think so.

Yeah.

Well, I think that even though
they died, you were luckier than me.

- Dad won't ever stop.
- He understood.

Tonight.

It's hard, I know, but...

- ... it's what you were feeling and perhaps...
- No,

even if he goes away for a bit,
he could come back at any time.

You read stories about dads
who can't see their kids.

They set the house on
fire or get a knife.

- He wouldn't do any of that.
- Yeah, he would.

You already thought that if Kate
left him and he lost the house,

- he'd just give up.
- I hoped he'd just... leave.

Start again.

You didn't just want to hurt him?

No.

Punish him?

I wanted him gone.

But if you're asking do I feel guilty...

I didn't start this.

We were fine before he came
back and started bullying me

and trying to take you away.

All I did was tell people
the truth about him.

IN VOICEOVER: Did you talk to Tom?

Yeah. I asked him if he was
worried about the hours we're doing.

- He said...
- CHAMPAGNE POPS

He said sometimes he
thinks you're not listening.

You're... thinking about work.

Sometimes he wishes you
were a bit softer with him.

Wow.

OK.

What did you say?

That you weren't just his mum.

You had a job.

Responsibility for a lot of people.

He was lucky you were so
talented and in demand.

Right.

You're a brilliant mum.

Love you.

Do you want this?

- Why?
- So that when we're old and unhappy

and in there watching TV all day,

you can remember that once
upon a time, we had fun.

Let's never get old and unhappy.

Deal.

CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Tom?

- What's going on?
- Tom's not here.

- I just heard a car leaving.
- PHONE LINE RINGS

Do you think he's... ?
He was talking about moving.

No, he'd... plan for
that, take his things.

Simon's taken him
somehow, he's made him go.

Taken him? Come on,

it's not like Simon could
have physically made him.

- Threatened him or...
- He's probably gone off with some friends,

some crisis he's having
in the middle of the night.

He doesn't have any
friends at the moment.

Why are you taking that?

In case something's happened to Tom.

- Hey, come here, you need to stop and think.
- Let go of me.

Why don't you stay here,
call around, I'll find Tom.

You think I'm going to let anyone
stop me from getting my son?

- Just calm down.
- Calm down?

- I'm not letting you do this.
- Nobody tells me what to do.

Tom was right, I messed you
around time and time again

- and you just keep on coming back.
- I don't mind that.

I think ultimately you like fixing me.

- No.
- Bird with a broken wing.

No, Gemma, I LIKE you, Gemma.

I'm not broken.

Sorry. We're not working
and it needs to stop.

I'll stay here in case he comes back.

Thank you.

PHONE LINE RINGS

Tom?

- ON PHONE: Dad, that's mine.
- Tom!

ON PHONE: Give it back. Give it back!

ON PHONE: Leave us alone.

- What the fuck are you doing?
- Leave us alone.

Please don't hurt him.

Dad. Dad!

Just please don't...

PHONE CUTS OFF

- Morning.
- Hi, my husband is staying here, Simon Foster.

- Do you have his room number?
- Husband?

Foster.

- I thought it was...
- When I was here before,

I used my maiden name.

We don't have a Foster, I'm afraid.

He's with my son.

There can't be that many men
checking in with a teenager.

This is urgent.

- 137.
- Thank you.

Tom?

CAR HORNS BLARE

HORNS GET LOUDER

Tom!

Hey!

He said... he said he
felt like killing himself.

And there was a taxi outside and
if I didn't get in it, he would.

OK.

Tom, go up the bank.

- Mum...
- To the top, where it's safer.

God, Simon. If a car hits you,
then it could kill them, too.

Jesus. Simon, please. Just...

Just come away from the traffic!

Please...

We can talk.

HE SNIFFLES

I wanted to talk to him, but
even when I'm feeling like this

he went at me. Now he's
just watching his shit dad.

Yes, and if a car hits you, what
he sees will scar him forever.

Don't argue with me!

All right. But now it has.

You can't stop arguing
with me, contradicting me.

- Let go of me.
- Jesus, Simon!

- Mum!
- Tom, no!

Simon, please.

HORNS HONK

OK. Look, we can talk.

Look at me.

Simon!

Not like this.

Not like this.

Are you OK?

CARS DROWN OUT HER SPEECH

Simon...

What did you say?

We're going to get some food.

- Food?
- He said he wanted us to eat together.

As a family and I...

I said OK.

Morning, how we all doing?

Good, thanks.

OK, excellent. Can I get
you any drinks to start?

- Coffee?
- Just some water.

- Jolly good. Sir?
- A beer.

You... Sure?

- Um, we have...
- Actually, could you do a whiskey and Coke?

Absolutely. Jack Daniel's?

- Jack Daniel's.
- All righty.

We only have Pepsi, is that OK?

Double. Double whiskey and Coke.

No problem, I'll be back in a
moment to take your food order.

Where are you going to go?

Back to London?

Maybe.

You never liked it there.

No.

You'll sort stuff out, you will.

You know people, you'll find a job.

And you'll find somewhere to stay.

You hate us anyway, so...

I don't hate you.

Kate's just angry. I'm sure you'll
be able to see Amelie eventually.

I don't think so, mate.

Why did you want this? We're all
just sitting here feeling shit.

What did you think was going to happen?

Jack Daniel's and Pepsi.

Water.

Can I take your food order?

Some toast.

Any marmalade, jam?

- Fine.
- Yeah, toast.

Sir, some toast for you as well?

Shall I come back in a moment?

- Should I... ?
- He'll have an English breakfast.

Poached egg, two bacon,
sausage and hash brown.

And he'll want some English mustard.

And some brown sauce, too.

Sure.

I hate myself. I hate what I've done.

I hate the entire world.

You've no idea. I hope you
never feel what I'm feeling now.

Did he tell you what I said?

Why he left you and went with me?

- No.
- You want to know?

- It doesn't matter.
- Look, Tom, she's desperate.

She can't bear not knowing things.

You thought about it so
much, you must have guessed.

I worked it out yesterday.

I assume you went back on
all the assurances YOU gave me

that you would protect my
relationship with my son.

It was important he knew what
you were capable of. Mum...

I was depressed.

I don't know if Dad mentioned the reason

why I left you on your own as a baby,

it was because I had
postnatal depression.

But I got better.

I assumed,

even given everything,

your dad understood the difference
between character and illness.

It didn't occur to me that
he would tell you about it

because I couldn't
imagine the psychology

of someone who would do that.

Who would hold that against you.

- You wanted me dead.
- No.

- But you said.
- I just...

- I couldn't cope.
- Hoped I would die?

- No!
- You did.

- Simon!
- You've forgotten.

You did say it and you meant it.

I heard it at the time. I never
said anything and never reminded you.

Until now.

Dad said he had to quit his
career so he could look after me.

His career? What career?!

To let him stay at home so
you could work for the better.

Oh, you just say things, don't you?

That you preferred work to me.

You want to stand by that now?

But you do work a lot.

I remember growing up,
you were always out.

Even since Dad left, it's not like
you've tried to talk to me much.

I mean, with your buildings and
more patients and more doctors,

- and I think it's because...
- Because I believe in what I do!

Because you want to avoid me!

I'm good at what I do and I work hard.

But I've also, despite everything,
been a good mum and I...

I think, one day,

you will realise that.

I think the only way, Tom,

that I have failed you is
in my choice of your father.

And the fact that on that night
when I should have been helping you,

I went back to him, and
I hate myself for that.

I will regret it forever.

At least I know that
I've always loved you.

I've always tried to protect you.

So if you want to hate me, you
hate me for the last two years,

but before that, before your dad
broke it, I was a really good mum.

Excuse me.

- Mum!
- I'll be back in a minute. You stay here.

It's done.

As agreed.

Thanks.

What do you mean?

I'm...

paying for the room a few days.

So your dad can...

sort things out.

So this is it.

What?

I'm never going to see you again.

Live a good life.

I'm...

I'm really sorry for everything.

You mum's right.

All that stuff I said, I was angry.

She didn't work too hard.

I found it difficult to stay in one job.

To put up with the boss, is the truth.

She loves you so much,
she's never let you down.

I'm the problem in our
family, I always have been,

so you're absolutely right, Tom.

You're so much better without me,

and when I've gone...

... I think you'll feel a bit
sad, but not for long. I think...

When my dad died, I just felt relief.

That I didn't have to
worry about him any more.

That I didn't have to try to predict

in what way he'd ruin my life next.

When he died, I cried, but within
an hour, I felt so much better.

That does happen, it can.

I think you're going
to feel that about me.

You're not going to die.

Well, I might as well because
you're never going to see me again.

That's what you want, isn't it?
You've had enough of me.

You ought to be a doctor.

Wh... what?

It's a job.

I thought you liked the idea
of being a doctor like your mum.

Well, I don't know.

You should. You'd be so good at it.

Forget about me, I'm...

I'm just shit, I'm...

I'm really just shit.

Enough?

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Tom.

Follow the instructions.

I just want to say a few things.

Don't worry, I'm not
going to take this away.

When I'm finished, do what you like.

This is just some small print
that I need to get through.

- I don't want to hear it.
- I don't care what you want.

I'm the one who'll have to
live with our son in agony

because his father killed himself.

I'm the one he'll probably
blame for that his whole life,

so I don't think that I'm out
of order trying to have my say.

Sit down.

After my parents died in the car crash,

for a long time I just...
took that at its word.

"Car crash" covers
quite a lot of things,

and for some strange reason I wanted
to know how they actually died.

They went under a lorry and the
roof of their car caved in on them

and crushed their heads.

It will have been utterly terrifying,

incredibly painful,

and not instant.

I think that's why I became a doctor.

Maybe if I'd been there, maybe
I could have done something.

Probably not, but who knows?

This won't be instant, either.

Because there is no painless way to die.

And the truth is, we don't
know exactly what it feels like,

but we do know that it'll be nasty.

And once you do it, you will be over.

There is no coming
back, you will just stop.

I thought about taking my own life.

In the middle of...

... everything.

I left Tom with you, do you remember?

You called me, I was by the sea.

After I hung up on you,
I walked into the water.

Because I wanted to drown.

But I stopped myself because I
knew that it wasn't fair on Tom.

I grew up without my
parents. I needed them and...

... they weren't there.

You know, a few days ago I thought...

... maybe you can't help yourself.

Everything that you've done.

Maybe you have an illness of some kind.

- I don't.
- No, I don't think you do.

No excuses.

Agreed.

Either way...

Don't do this.

Tom doesn't realise it at
the moment, but he needs you.

Then why did you...

You were quick to offer THIS.

I had to get you off that motorway.

The thought was already there, you...

You just happened to have
the right drugs in your bag?

I put them in there
when you took Tom away.

Just in case.

What do you mean?

A weapon, I suppose.

I am never losing him.

If you're desperate I don't do it,
why don't you take them away, then?

Because you nearly caused a car crash,

- at least this way you'll only kill yourself.
- Do you forgive me?

I won't ever forgive you.

But we will both
probably start to forget.

And that's enough.

Simon.

Don't do this.

The offer's still there?

A few days to get back on my feet.

Then take them.

- What?
- Take them.

Take them with you.

Bye, Simon.

Bye.

Hey!

- Wait.
- Oh...

Oh, thanks. Never without that.

Doctor Angeles?

You wanted your bill.

Thanks.

Could you put my card on
file? I'll pay for the week.

Sure.

You have three new messages.

First new message.

Gemma, it's Karen.

The governors have upheld your appeal.

If you could give me a call,

we can talk about how and when Tom
should come back to school. Thanks.

Message deleted. You
have two new messages.

Next new message.

Gemma, hi, it's Sian.

I hear you're coming back
and I just wanted to say

that I'm really pleased
it's all sorted out.

When you're ready, call me
and maybe we can go for a drink.

OK, bye.

Message deleted.

You have one new message.

Next message...

PHONE RINGS INSIDE CAR

_

SIRENS IN DISTANCE

And the moment the blood
rushes down out of your head...

... it's like suddenly falling,

like something giving way.

It's not like shock.

Because there's the horror
that somehow you knew...

... underneath,

without realising.

The horror that this
terrible thing was there.

Obvious the whole time,

and you didn't see it.

Tom!

Hi. Excuse me?

Have you seen my son?

I've lost my son.

His name's Tom, he's... He's 15.

No, we haven't seen him.

Go and stand back up the bank.
We'll attend to you in a minute.

And you know that now there's no repair.

No going back.

Whatever life you had,

whatever fight you thought was
important, now looks so naive.

Mum, I'm going.

I was going to move out anyway,
but I've had enough of Dad and you,

and not knowing, and...

I've got no school, no friends left.

I hate myself. I just
want to start again.

You went off at 17, you did all right.

You won't see me again.

It'll be better, I think.

Love you.

INAUDIBLE

What you thought had been the fight

was merely the warning.

Your biggest fear was
nothing compared to this.

_

The weeks go past and people
say it will get better...

... but it doesn't.

You do everything anyone could,
but somehow you know it's done.

It's happened. Too late.

He's gone.

_

You go over the past, what
you did, what you said.

Again and again and again.

What should you have done?

Did you get it wrong from the start?

Hello, Mrs Roberts...

You'll never stop going over it.

And in the end, all you can say is...

I'm here.

Tom, I'm your mum.

I'm sorry

and I'm here.

I'll always be here waiting.

When you want to come back.

Whenever you want to come back.