All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S19E10.WEBRip.x264-TG

Oh, my God.

No, hey, no, no, no.
Stop. [ Laughs ] Stop.

One of the more harrowing parts

of complex heart surgeries

is the moment we
wean the patient

off the cardiopulmonary
bypass machine.

Oh, Lucas!

We start slowly
warming the patient.

- You're up early.
- Couldn't sleep.

As the patient's
temperature rises...

we check to make
sure all of the air

has been removed from the heart.

Good morning!

- Hey.
- Morning.

Coffee for the road?

- Mm.
- You can bring it back tonight.

Thank you.

Anybody want a weed whacker?

The house on the corner's giving
away a bunch of stuff for free.

Oh, I'm gonna be late,
but I'll see you tonight.

- Bye!
- Bye.

She took my mug.

Apparently, she'll
bring it back. Tonight.

I found some good
bridesmaid dress options.

If you're looking.

Those dresses
belong in a museum.

They're free. And go away.

You think that I
could officiate?

'Cause I've always
wanted to do that.

I barely know you.

Oh, I'm sorry, are
you gonna do it?

Trey and I still have
a lot to figure out.

Yes! I'm in the mix.

Once the aortic
cross-clamp is removed,

all eyes are on the heart
for that moment of truth.

Will it start to beat?

Hey, can I borrow a shirt?

I need to bring some
more clothes over here.

Uh, help yourself.

Thank you.

You know, I'm gonna
go make breakfast.

Uh, meant to tell you... We
are out of the good granola.

Really? I just bought some.

I know. Been on a yogurt kick.

I'll get some more.

Oh, is that Kai?

Will you tell them I said hi?
When are they coming back here?

I've got this documentary
I want to show them.

Yeah, can I talk about
this a little later?

Yeah. Um, they're about
to go into a meeting,

so I just... I've gotta...
No, of course, of course.

To be continued.

Oh, uh, I'm... I'm sorry.

I didn't know anyone was
here, um, doing this.

Morning, baby. Meet Taya.

Taya is Seattle's most highly
regarded Reiki practitioner.

R-Reiki. Uh, of... of course.

Reiki, you know, it's an
energy healing technique.

It clears the mind, promotes
relaxation, improves focus.

I thought I'd give it a try
before my surgery today.

- You want to go next?
- Uh, no, no, thank you.

I was just, uh, looking
for my raincoat.

It's in the hall closet.

And it's not like my
workload has just evaporated.

My paperwork has
doubled with the clinic.

Oh, please complain more about
data entry to a chief resident.

You want to make it a contest?
Because I work two jobs,

I moonlight in general,
plus I'm a mom.

That's like four jobs.

Well, I feel like I have seven.

I'm having recurring dreams

about intern
rotation assignments

when I should be dreaming
about... hot nurse.

What? Hot.

Nurse. Hot. What?

Carlos. Oh, wait,
quick. Hide... Hide me.

Oh, my God. What is
happening right now?

Carlos and I had
a-an interaction

at the intern house party.

A quality interaction?

Very high quality, yes.

And afterwards, he
gave me his number.

So, what's the problem?

He thinks I'm cool.

So? Look at me.

Okay, well, just take
off the bike helmet.

Okay.

- I'll tell you when he's gone.
- Oh, gosh.

Hey, have you assigned
someone to supervise me today?

Right, I knew I was
forgetting something.

I have to got to
look at microscopes

and then a compliance
meeting, whatever that is,

so somewhere between that
and the hundred other things

I have to do, uh, I will
get you a supervisor.

Do that first. Owen, I-I...

I called the medical commission.

- And said what?
- I asked them for an appeal,

and they granted me one.

They're sending a preceptor.

He will assess
me, and if I pass,

they will temporarily
reinstate my license.

You just decided that? You
didn't even talk to me about it?

You and I are broken.
You know it, I know it.

I'm pretty sure the
entire hospital knows it.

If I can practice
medicine again,

maybe we can stop
resenting each other.

Alright, when are they
coming to assess you?

Today. He's
downstairs right now.

So, about the supervisor.

Porter's with Ndugu.
Millin's with Dr. Webber.

Griffith and Yasuda,
you're with, uh, Shepherd.

And Massey's on scut.

As a gentle reminder,

I will be in the OR
today with the Dr. Fox,

so do not page me, call
me, or attempt to find me.

Uh, what if our
patient is dying?

Take that attitude and
channel it into saving them.

Move.

I've come to return my interns.

Pretty sure there's
a no-return policy.

All my surgeries
have been canceled.

Only thing they'd be learning is
how to be the viper of Seattle.

Well, I see that a possible
teaching opportunity...

- Where do you want us?
- Look, just give me a second.

Dr. Schmitt, we're late.

Oh, I'm... I'm so
sorry, Dr. Fox.

I just need to
reassign these interns.

Who wants to come fix a penis?

Totally. I'm in.

Consider them reassigned.
Let's go, fellas.

Let's go.

Uh, Natalia Asaki, 32, post-op
day two from right craniotomy

for resection of a
metastatic lesion

from the primary
esophageal carcinoma.

Well, your incision is
healing well, Natalia.

No sign of infection.

Will I be able to travel soon?

Honey, you just
had brain surgery.

Let's not rush anything, okay?

Our friends chipped in

to give us a divorce-honeymoon.

We want to go to Europe
to see the sunsets.

Sunset is Natalia's
favorite time of the day.

Mm. It's the magical hour when
the sky becomes a painting.

My wife and I took a
spectacular trip recently,

and yes, it really
does feed the soul.

See? Our trip is
doctor-recommended.

When can we book our
plane ticket, Dr. Webber?

Well, we need to get
a PET scan first.

And then we'll
re-stage the cancer,

and we'll go from there.

Thank you.

Venice first.

If there's gelato, I'll
follow you anywhere.

Yes.

Barbara Collins, 45,

presents with double
vision and headaches.

A CT revealed a tumor in the
center region of the brain.

Today, we will do
a trans-ventricular

endoscopic approach
to resect it.

And once removed, we'll
send it to pathology

to determine if the mass
is benign or cancerous.

And there it is. Our baby
sister finally has cancer.

Took you long enough.

Dr. Shepherd, meet my
sisters, Didi and Paula.

They flew in from Boston last
night to offer their... support.

We never miss a
cancer diagnosis.

We don't know for sure
that it is cancer.

I'll need to obtain
tissue first.

She has it. We've all had it.

I had breast cancer,
Carol had skin cancer,

and Paula had butt cancer.

We all get it, and then
we make the best of it.

That's right. Yeah.

Barbara, you can finally
come to cancer camp.

We go every year
with our chemo girls,

but this one never
could because...

- No cancer.
- No cancer.

Oh, I forgot. I
brought champagne.

Huh?

Our mother was
fertile for 40 years,

and she finally gave up
sex when Barbara was born.

Is your other sister on her way?

Carol? No. She's, uh...

Oh, no. Ladies,

meet Carol.

She died 15 years ago.

Well, she kicked the cancer,
but then she fell off a ladder.

She was always the clumsy one.

Your sister's in that box?

- Yeah.
- Yep.

Well, we take her everywhere.

She loved meeting new people.

Yeah.

It's nice... nice to meet you.

- Aww.
- See, that's nice.

Good for you.

Yeah.

Oh. Bailey. Hey. Look,
I want to apologize

for Owen and I fighting in
front of you and Ben at dinner.

Cappuccino?

Fine.

Honestly, your pie
was the first thing

that Owen and I
agreed on in months.

I mean, the best pie ever.
The most tender crust,

and the filling was
sweet, but not too sweet.

I mean, what is your secret?

You know, you're my boss now.
You don't have to butter me up.

No, I dreamt about
your pie, truly.

You can just ask for what
you want, Dr. Altman.

Owen is being evaluated by
the medical commission today,

and he's trying really
hard to fix this,

and if anything goes wrong,

he can't be reevaluated
for another six months.

I'm still waiting
for the question.

Would you supervise
him, please? No.

What happened to I'm your boss
and I can ask for what I want?

Doesn't mean I have
to say yes. I'm busy.

And I'm rooting for him.

Mm.

Okay.

Link.

What are you doing right now?

Gerald Lien, age 60,

a history of increasingly
painful, curved erections

that led to a diagnosis
of Peyronie's disease.

Okay, so who can tell me

the pathophysiology
of this disease?

It's an inflammatory condition

that can cause a
bend in the penis,

and it's thought to be
caused from repeated injuries

due to athletics,
accidents, or sex.

Correct. Okay, let's
go meet Gerald.

Gerald.

So nice to see you again.

This is Dr. Schmitt,
Dr. Kwan, and Dr. Adams.

They're gonna be
assisting me today.

Gerald first came to me
about six months ago,

when his symptoms first started,

and we weren't able
to help him surgically

because we needed to wait until
the progression stabilized

and there was no
further curvature.

You had to wait six months?

Uh, sorry. Please just fix it.

You can fix it, right? So I
can stop avoiding my wife?

Today, Dr. Fox will resect
the plaques that have built up

and then place a xenograft
to repair the damage.

Gerald, are you sure there
isn't anyone you want to call

and let them know you're
having surgery today?

My wife and our friends think
I'm at a conference right now,

where, in about three hours,
I'm gonna pull a muscle,

which will require me to be
in bed for a couple days.

Understood. Alright,
Schmitt, Kwan, Adams,

let's go and study
his penile ultrasound,

and I will see you in the O.R.

Thank you, Dr. Fox.

I'll need her latest
scans so we can go over

my approach and positioning...

Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd?
Didi and I were wondering

if you could tell us where
we could get some coffee.

Uh... Uh, there's a
cafeteria downstairs,

or Dr. Yasuda could grab
some from the lounge.

- Oh, that would be great.
- Oh.

Sure. Two coffees,
coming right up.

Actually, three.

Uh, and Carol takes hers
with cream and sugar.

She always had a sweet tooth.

Okay. Sure.

Thank you, Dr. Yasuda.

Mm-hmm.

How do I get coffee
for a dead person?

Same way you get coffee
for a living person.

Pour it in a cup.

You worried she'll get mad at
you if you screw up her order?

It looks like a... Boomerang.

- How does he pee?
- Sideways?

As you can see, the
ultrasound shows

a build-up of fibrous plaques,

and these plaques can
contain calcifications

or completely ossify,
which means...

The tissue can turn to bone.

Correct. It's worth noting
this is not an ortho case.

It's very complex.

So be sure to carefully
review the ultrasound studies.

Be extremely prepared.
Then get him up to pre-op.

So, he's got bone...

In his bone.

Nope.

Penile surgery can
be bloody and messy,

and if anything goes wrong,
this man's erectile function

will be permanently impaired.

So, let's hear 'em.

All of 'em, right now.

Get your jokes out now.

Not one more after you set
foot outside that door.

Captain Hook. Gargoyle
gherkin. Bendy straw.

Get back to work.

Today, I'll be assessing
your clinical skills,

bedside manner, - and diagnostic knowledge.
- Yeah.

I want you to
pretend I'm not here.

Do everything like
you normally would.

Yeah. Mr. Williams,
I am Dr. Hunt.

I am here to take
a look at that cut.

- Can you tell me how it happened?
- What's he doing here?

Oh, sorry, I should
have introduced myself.

I'm Dr. Lincoln.

You... You killed the Tank.

Mnh-mnh. I don't
want him touching me.

Dr. Lincoln is an
excellent surgeon,

but he is just here
to observe today.

Observe what?

Wh... Well, I am in a
probationary period.

Not because of any
malpractice or anything,

more bureaucratic stuff.

I assure you, I am a fully
board certified trauma surgeon,

more than capable of sewing
up a small head laceration.

So, when you're ready...

I'll wait for another
doctor. Not you.

Mr. Williams, I really
need to close that up

before it becomes
infected, so...

Mm, I'll take my chances.

Alright.

So, the PET scan
won't take long.

You can go back to planning
your trip once we're finished.

Our first stop is the island

where Monet painted "San
Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk."

He's one of my
favorite painters.

Do you have a favorite
place in Europe, Dr. Millin?

I have never been,

but I've always wanted
to go to Paris someday.

Ooh!

She has a case of the somedays.

The what? Natalia always says

that there are seven
days in a week,

and someday isn't one of them.

When you live in
"someday," you waste today.

I had a real bad case until I met
her. She knocked it out of me.

The last time he used
the word "someday,"

I made him sleep
in the guest room.

Also known as the porch. She
made me sleep on the porch.

Oh, God, she's bleeding!
Hey, Natalia, hey.

I need suction and a crash
cart, and page Dr. Webber! Now!

It's okay. Hey,
hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Into this. Can you breathe?

You know Peyronie's disease
is actually really common?

Affects 1 in 11 men.

Worried you got a
kink in the hose?

If you bring that hyena
home again tonight,

I am sleeping in my van.

How is that a threat?

Her name is Cara.

Yeah, Cara from
internal medicine.

Did she wear her
stethoscope in bed?

What does that even mean?

Is she why you're worried
you have Peyronie's disease?

- You're worried about Peyronie's?
- No.

I don't trust anyone
who doesn't cut.

You know, maybe I'm not
interested in "trusting" her.

The people need sleep!

Are you kidding me? I
have to get out of here.

I understand.

Seems like it's going well.

That woman is
yelling in his face.

Well, it's not you for once.

This is me trying
to be encouraging.

It's a UTI.Owen:
You're probably right,

but I need to do a full work-up,

just to make sure that
nothing else is going on.

It burns when I pee, and
I have to go all the time.

It's textbook UTI.

Just give me the antibiotics,
and I'll free up a bed.

We can't. I need to take your
vitals and take a urine sample.

And how long will that take?

That depends on how
busy the labs are,

but I promise we will get you
out of here as soon as we can.

Okay, I'm already missing the
study group for my logic class,

and then I have an econ
paper due at 5:00 p.m.,

and my restaurant
shift starts at 7:00.

I don't have time for this.

I'll just use my friend's
leftover antibiotics.

No, no, no. I wouldn't
recommend that.

Okay, what's next?

We just need to send off
your type and screen,

and then we'll be ready to go.

Okay.

Uh, can I ask you something?

- Now that it's just you and me?
- Of course.

If things don't go smoothly in
there, could it be permanent?

There's always the
possibility of tissue damage,

nerve damage, or more
severe erectile dysfunction,

but that only happens
in 20% of the cases.

And Dr. Fox is excellent.

Oh.

My wife's name is Gloria,
but I call her Glow

because she... just glows.

She was a history professor
before she retired.

She loves big concerts,
dive restaurants,

and the ocean, and
I didn't tell her

because I didn't want
her to feel sorry for me.

Or look at me differently.

So, what if I'm in that 20%?

How long have you been
married? 37 years.

I don't think that your
condition will be permanent,

but your marriage
sounds like it is.

Right.

I'll be back in a few minutes
to take you to pre-op.

Right there. Natalia's
esophageal tumor

has eroded into the aorta and
the posterior mediastinum.

Tumor's everywhere.

So, her heart's bleeding out.

Essentially, yeah.

Can you resect it?

I wouldn't know where to begin.

You paged me?

I need a second opinion.

Large esophageal mass,

which has eroded into the
aorta and pericardium.

Sorry. Uh, you don't think

a-a descending stent
graft would work?

That won't help her.

Well, so what do we do now?

Nothing. Best thing we can do

for Natalia is, uh,
give her pain medication

and help her go peacefully.

How much time do I have?

It depends.

Could be anywhere
from a few days

to a few hours.

I'm so sorry, Natalia.

We'll make sure
you're comfortable.

Whatever you need.

Thank you.

When Elliot gets back, we
can walk him through this.

We know that these
conversations can be difficult.

No.

Just let us plan our trip.

Natalia, your husband
needs to be prepared.

He needs to say goodbye.

No, he doesn't.

He doesn't need that.

We cannot handle that.

Please.

Let us... plan our trip.

I talked to Nurse Staci,
and I got the full download.

- The full download?
- Yeah. Carlos.

Okay, dogs, not cats.

Star Trek, not Star
Wars. That's good, right?

And then, oh, he went
to Costa Rica last year

just to see the sloths.

- Isn't that so cute?
- This is stalking.

I really don't want to be
implicated in a stalking case.

Listen, you and Nico
broke up over a year ago.

- I have surgery.
- Oh, my God.

Will you just talk to
him? It's not a big deal.

No. I am not you.

Why is it that every time
someone like me feels insecure,

a very good-looking,
charming person is like,

"Just do it. It's
not a big deal.

It's fun. It'll be easy"?

Oh, and he hates vampire shows!

I know you're
scared of vampires.

So, you got kids?

Yes.

- Okay, what do we got?
- Edgar Reyes, 38,

MVC, unrestrained driver with
blunt trauma to the chest.

Got diminished breath
sounds bilaterally,

satting at 80%.

BP is 95/40.

Intubated and needle
decompressions done in the field.

You ready? On my count.

1, 2, 3, let's go.

Okay, let's bring in the X-ray.

Okay, sats are dropping.

I'm seeing extensive
subcutaneous emphysema.

Plate's already in.

Alright, here we go.

Damn it. Deviated trachea.

I can't make out if
there's a hemothorax

with all the air in the tissue.

Okay, there's no oxygen
getting to his lungs.

Systolic's falling. We
should call for bronchoscopy.

He'll be dead by then, especially
if he has a ruptured airway.

Get me a 10-blade,
gloves, and betadine.

- What the hell are you doing?
- He might have a tracheal injury.

We need to do something
before he codes.

So wait for the bronchoscopy
so you don't go in blind.

We don't have time for me to
check all those boxes, okay?

Somebody page Dr. Ndugu!

Who can tell me why I
am injecting the penis

with papaverine to
induce an erection?

Hello?

The penis must be erect...

In order to place the
correct anatomic markings.

Correct. 15-blade.

Dr. Kwan, should I
make the incision

on the long or short
side of the curvature?

Short side.

Correct.

Here we go.

Oh, nice blood flow.

Suction, Kwan.

Kwan.

Blue? Kwan.

Blue.

I would have bet my
money on the other one.

Oh, crap.

Eyes on the field, Schmitt.

Someone get that intern
off my O.R. floor.

Adams, get him out of here.

If I leave, can I come back?

Now!

So, there's a chance I
won't remember anything

- when I wake up?
- Well, there is a chance,

but I'm very, very
good at my job.

Oh, don't worry,
honey, you'll be fine.

The doctors told Paula

she'd never be able
to eat spicy food.

And I eat hot sauce
on my eggs every day.

And remember when they forgot
to give Didi her nipple?

Who needs two nipples?

Yeah, see, there. - It all works out.
- You know what?

We really need to get her
into the operating room.

Her pulse is thready. But I will
update you as soon as I can.

Okay. Mwah. We'll
be waiting for you.

Yeah, all three of us.

What's wrong with my pulse?

Nothing. It's perfect.

But sometimes, we
need our space.

You're right. You are
very good at your job.

Woman over P.A.:
Pathology, extension 2479.

Pathology, extension 2479.

Mr. Asaki, is
everything alright?

Natalia sent me to
get hot chocolate.

She only does that
when she knows

that things are gonna get worse.

It's her tell.

Coughing up blood is not
a sign of recovery, is it?

There are always
unforeseen complications

with any kind of cancer.

Is she dying?

This is really a conversation

you should be having
with your wife.

Do we at least have a month?

A week?

Do I have today?

I just need a minute.

I don't want her to
see me like this.

I don't want to cause
her any more pain.

Oxygen saturation
still dropping, Hunt.

It's at 62%.

Tube's in. Ambu bag.

We had to do the clamshell
to get a better visualization

of the tracheal repair.

Okay. Sats are rising.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Patient is
hemodynamically unstable.

He needs an exploration and
a definitive tracheal repair.

Alright. Okay. Let's go.

Woman over P.A.: Dr. Erica
Newton to Trauma 2.

Dr. Newton to Trauma 2.

Dr. Millin? Are you alright?

We're Natalia's doctors,

and she is dying, and we are
standing here doing nothing.

You gave her pain meds.
That's not nothing.

She trusted us.

We should be doing everything we
can think of to fix her heart.

I mean, isn't that what you
would want if it were you?

Or your wife?

I wanted to become a surgeon
because we heal people.

You don't just prescribe them
medicine and wait to see if it works.

You wheel them to the O.R.,
and then you open them up,

and then you fix them.

That's our job. And right
now, we are failing.

We are failing Natalia,
and we are failing Elliot,

and I don't know
what to do with that.

The worst part of this job
is the powerlessness you feel

when you know there
is nothing you can do.

Yes, we could take
her back to the O.R.,

but all we would be doing
is killing her faster.

The best surgeons, the best,

learn how to live with the
worst part of this job.

Ready?

Ready.

Wait. If I die... Barbara...

If Carol can die from putting
up Super Bowl decorations,

I can die from brain surgery.

If I die, do not let
them carry me in a box.

I don't care. Let them
throw me out the car window.

Okay.

Dr. Seip to oncology.
Dr. Seip, report to oncology.

Where's your preceptor?

Gone. He said he
had what he needed.

Ha. Yeah, was that
before or after

you did an intracavitary
intubation in the E.R.?

You know what, Bailey?

I thrive on order and
protocol. I'm a solider.

The chain of command
is in my bones,

but I also know when to break
the rules to save the patient.

My license wasn't suspended

because of my ability
to practice medicine.

It was suspended because

I fundamentally
disagreed with the law,

because I did what
I thought was right.

I want to get my license back,

and of course I want to
fix things with Teddy,

but if I had done anything differently
today, that patient would be dead.

I did what I thought was right, and I don't
know how to do this job any other way.

Hey, none of those
words you just said

is a thing that your wife
or any of us don't know.

Have you tried apologizing

for all of the things
that you got wrong

instead of constantly defending
the things you got right?

Dr. Andorka to the NICU.

Dr. Mary Andorka to the NICU.

Is he in a lot of pain?

I'm sorry. And... And you are?

Gloria. Glow. Gerald's wife.

Oh, I wasn't aware
that he had called you.

He didn't. He has
no idea I am here.

I've... I've known all along.

He doesn't seem to remember

that I handle all of
our insurance payments.

You never said anything to him?

I thought I should wait until
he was ready to tell me.

And then months went
by, and he didn't,

and I respect that.

I respect his pride
enough to pretend.

Well, the surgery
turned out beautifully.

Thank you.

Oh, you don't want
to stay? See him?

I just needed to know that
he was going to be okay.

I'll wait for his call.

Hmm.

♪ No matter what the
cost or the distance ♪

♪ No bounds between
our hearts ♪

Natalia...

your pain may increase
over the next few hours,

and we'll adjust your
medication to help, alright?

Thank you.

♪ You can't bear ♪

♪ No mountain I won't
scale to meet you ♪

♪ My love will find
a way to reach you ♪

♪ From the breeze
kissing your cheek ♪

♪ To the gentle
smile of stranger ♪

Can we go to that
restaurant in Venice?

Oh, with the mussels in the pie?

- It's our first stop.
- Yeah?

We can sit outside, right
at dusk, so we can see...

The sunset.

And walk all along the canals.

The pigeons might get
us, but who cares, right?

Yeah.

♪ I ♪

And someone will take our
picture right by that tower.

♪ I ♪

The wind will be blowing
your hair around,

and you'll keep asking
for another one.

Then we'll go to Florence.

We'll go to Lake Como.

We'll keep going until
we run out of money.

♪ Rivers will dry ♪

We'll see the sunsets every day.

We'll see the sunsets every day.

♪ Sun will rise and
fall and still ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am, I am, I am ♪

♪ Here ♪

♪ I am, I am, I am ♪

♪ I am here ♪

♪ I am, I am, I am ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I am here ♪

Okay, spit it out.

Say whatever you
want to say. Come on.

Fine.

I fainted when I saw a penis
bleeding like a fire hydrant.

We found it.

We found the one thing

that makes Dr. Benson
Kwan squeamish.

Are you happy?

You know, I lost out
on a surgery today

because you passed out.

Then I had to drag your
sorry ass in here...

Heavier than it
looks, by the way...

And, uh, babysit you.

The way I see it, you owe me.

Fine. I will do your
progress notes for a week.

Two weeks.

What?

Nothing. Just, uh,
sizing up the competition

and liking my odds.

Shut up.

Did you get all the tumor out?

I did. And the pathology
report came back.

It was a colloid cyst.
Your tumor is benign.

- Say it again?
- Barbara doesn't have cancer.

Oh, don't worry.
You'll get it.

You still got time, huh?

Yeah, you'll probably get
breast cancer like me,

and then you can do a tummy tuck
when they do the mastectomy.

I don't want cancer!

And no matter what you say,
or how positively you say it,

having cancer is not fun.

Didi, you were
exhausted all the time,

and I know you hated
losing your hair.

You love your hair.

And, Paula, I hated watching
you throw up all the time

and then boast about
how skinny you were.

I hate everything about cancer.

I don't want it,
I've never wanted it,

and you need to stop making me
feel guilty for being healthy.

I love you both so much,

and I love that
you somehow turned

the most horrible disease
that can happen to us

into something positive.

But I still don't want it.

And you have to stop carrying
our dead sister around in a box.

That is very weird.

It is.

We stay positive because,

the truth is, it's the only
way we can deal with it, right?

But you're right.
Cancer sucks.

I hate cancer, too.

And while we're
telling the truth,

there's something
else you need to know.

That's not Carol. I left
her in Reno in 2007.

We've been carrying around
cat litter for 15 years.

No. Stop it.

Cat litter. Stop it.

Stop it.

I heard what happened.

I'm sorry.

I am sorry that I made decisions
that affected your life,

my life, and the
life of our kids.

I'm sorry that we
had to flee to L.A.

I'm sorry that I couldn't
bring myself to face it

or even talk about it with you,

all the while you
supported our family.

I'm sorry that my surfing
partner was attractive.

You were right. I distracted
myself with her attentions,

and then I pretended
like I wasn't doing that.

I am sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

Wait, stop. It, um...

It's my turn.

I'm... I'm also sorry.

I'm... I'm sorry that
I wasn't as supportive

as I could have been
when you were struggling

with the possibility
of losing your career.

I'm sorry that instead
of talking to you,

I chose to drink.

I'm sorry that
instead of accepting

that we are all
less than perfect,

I chose to lash
out, and I'm sorry,

because I know that
nothing you have ever done

was meant to hurt me
or the kids or you

or... or our somewhat
chaotic life.

You did it because you believed
it was right. And I love you.

I always have,
and I always will.

Also, um, Dr. Patel called.

And, um, you passed.

And I would really love
it if you would return

to chief of trauma
effective immediately.

Congratulations.

I would kiss you, but I'm chief,

and people can see
through the window.

Did you never examine penises

in the Caribbean?

What about your
urology rotation?

Once again, it's
not about the penis.

I didn't expect that amount
of blood in the field

and forgot to eat breakfast.

I saw you eat a
bagel and a sandwich.

I don't want to talk about it.

Natalia died.

I'm sorry.

Yeah. Me, too.

Let's go.

Both of you. Come on.

Did you hear about Kwan?

- No.
- He passed out in surgery...

I meant, "No, I don't
want to talk about this."

Uh, do you have a
problem with me?

No, no. Just had a long day.

Really tired. Didn't get
any sleep last night.

You sure that's it?

Your fiancé's calling.

Hey. Perfect timing.
Just got off my shift.

You ready?

Yeah.

I'll see you at home.

♪ Energy has got
me flowin' freely ♪

Sorry, What did you say?

♪ It's easy when you just wake
up glowin' like diamonds ♪

Sorry. Sorry, I
had to follow up

on the solo penile placation
grafting I did today.

You didn't need to include
the word "solo" in that.

Dr. Fox let me
place the graft,

and it was flawless.

That's great.

No, it is great.

I-I'm not Glasses anymore.

Somebody passed out in the
O.R. today, and it wasn't me.

It was Kwan. We all heard.

I am a successful
chief resident,

and I deserve to claim it.

Right now.

Why are you telling me this?

What unit is Carlos on?

Okay, thanks.

♪ I feel alive,
vibin', flyin', yeah ♪

Carlos.

Hey.

Would you wanna grab
a drink with me?

I'd love that.

Okay. Let's go.

I'm... on a double shift.

Right.

But tomorrow works?

Alright then. Tomorrow.

♪ Ladi dadi ladi dadi
dadi, ladi dadi ♪

♪ And I'm only
goin' up from here ♪

How'd the surgery go?

Oh. I had an intern pass
out on the O.R. floor

when I cut into a penis.

Ooh, Lord, have mercy.

What is it, baby?

When we went to Kyoto,

we met a Reiki healer

who talked about using
Reiki for pain management.

I remember.

Catherine...

I know something's wrong.

And I know you're
trying to protect me.

But whatever it is,
I'm ready to hear it.

My cancer is progressing.

Acceptance letters,

medical scans, the
next morning's news...

We all have moments in which we
want to hide from the results.

♪ But they're not talking ♪

Hey.

♪ It's quiet in the streets ♪

Hey. Uh...

can I stay at your
place one more night?

What, you're heading back home?

I'm, uh... I'm gonna
check into a hotel.

You are?

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like
I've worn out my welcome.

Now you think you've
worn out your welcome?

You've been stealing my clothes
and eating my food for years.

At least at my apartment,
we both have bathrooms.

That was different. You're
Meredith's sister-in-law,

I was her sister. You
didn't have a choice.

Hey.

Just because Meredith moved,

nothing has changed between us.

We are still there
for each other, okay?

Okay.

♪ I can still see the light ♪

But get your own cereal.

Yours will still taste
better. I can't explain it.

♪ The light ♪

Come on. Let's go home.

♪ I can still see the light ♪

♪ If I know one thing ♪

♪ It's that all my
plans are nothing ♪

♪ But wishes in the wind ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

But instead of closing your eyes

and delaying the inevitable...

♪ And my future rearranges ♪

- Mm, mm!
- What is happening?

- Oh, no.
- You know you want to.

- I really, really don't.
- You do.

Oh, come on.

Mm, fine.

Yes!

You're next.

♪ When it gets darker,
it gets even harder ♪

Nope. Not my color.

Ohh. Do they all smell?

Like dead people.

And cabbage.

Absolutely. Yeah.

- Here.
- Okay, thank you.

Alright.

Find someone to
hold your hand...

You look...

Bad.

Yes. Alcohol now. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers.

Actually, may I, uh...

Are we gonna be invited
to your wedding?

We better be.

As I said, we're
figuring things...

Are you kidding me?! Come on!

I'm kidding. I'm
kidding. I'm kidding.

You're obviously invited.

We'll get back to you.

And face it with you.

Captions by VITAC...