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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,225 Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 2 00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:38,566 Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 3 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:42,438 Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 4 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,945 Just a quarter mile left, Hare Krishna is still clear. 5 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:50,449 - Turning for home, Hare Krishna the one to catch. - Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 6 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,111 Hare Krishna! Come on! 7 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:56,280 - Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. - Hare Krishna's getting weary. 8 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:59,086 Keep it together. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 9 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:02,617 - A three-way photo finish coming up to the wire. - Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. 10 00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:05,357 Hare... No! 11 00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,890 And a heartbreaking loss for Hare Krishna.! 12 00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,912 Give me a 1-5-6, a 1-5-7 and give me... 13 00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,479 Give me a break, will you? You can't bet every horse in the race. 14 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:06,752 - It's cheating. The horses are inside the gate. 15 00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:09,420 - We're gonna get shut out here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 16 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:13,262 Got a sure winner. Ten dollars across the board on number two. 17 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:17,633 At 70 to 1? Charlie! Where's the money? 18 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,537 If I had the money, would I be betting long shots? 19 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,804 Please, Edie, cover for me this one time. 20 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:27,040 - The flag is up. - Okay, Charlie. You're down. 21 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,638 - Thank you, sweetheart. I love you very much. 22 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:33,015 Away they go.! 23 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:35,350 Pretty good start for all. 24 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:39,824 The only one slow is High Button Shoes, and High Button Shoes is last early on. 25 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:44,057 Swinging onto the back stretch, and it's Last Chance and Coates Tail setting the pace. 26 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:47,429 Now High Button Shoes does begin to pick it up. 27 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,334 High Button Shoes nowjoins the pack as they swing onto the back stretch. 28 00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:54,066 - It's still Punjab and Out of Time the leaders. - High Button Shoes. 29 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,973 Coates Tail is racing on the outside curve, and then Last Chance. 30 00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,568 High Button Shoes. High Button Shoes. 31 00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:01,773 High Button Shoes picks up good ground. 32 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,408 - High Button Shoes coming into contention. - High Button Shoes! 33 00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:08,352 High Button Shoes.! High Button Shoes.! 34 00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:10,946 Come on, you schmuck! Move! 35 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,754 You got it, kid.! You got it.! 36 00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:17,023 That's the way to do it.! High Button Shoes.! 37 00:03:17,096 --> 00:03:19,564 High Button Shoes.! 38 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:22,294 - You got it, baby! - High Button Shoes has won.! 39 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:26,304 High Button Shoes, a major upset. 40 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,363 - I love you. - Love you too. 41 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:31,001 See you later, sweetheart. 42 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:34,103 Hi. How you doin'? 43 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:37,206 Looks like you're having a big day, huh? 44 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,877 Mickey, my favorite bookie. How's business? 45 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:43,116 I'll tell you, Charlie. I'm in a tough racket, you know? 46 00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:46,556 Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, I gotta see somebo... 47 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:49,527 Sometimes I get this terrible feeling... 48 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,622 like people are trying to avoid me. 49 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:55,133 Yeah? Gee, that's too bad. 50 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:59,194 - Maybe you should see someone about that. - I am seeing someone. 51 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:01,604 - Who? - Where's my money, Charlie? 52 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,869 Money? Come on. I'm broke, Mickey. 53 00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:06,434 You'd be the first to know when I get money. 54 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:09,504 Oh, my goodness. Where did this come from? L... 55 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:14,281 I tell you what. I'll give you $500, and we call it even. 56 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,652 I'll tell you what. 57 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:20,181 I'll take a grand, and you still owe me three grand. 58 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:28,824 Three thousand. 59 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:19,908 Always and forever, kiddo. 60 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,427 Did you come to borrow money? 61 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,493 Let me just say... 62 00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:51,844 Why do you assume the only reason I come here is to borrow money? 63 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:55,012 Because every time you come here, you borrow money. 64 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:58,421 Herbie, I'm gonna tell you something you're not gonna believe. 65 00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:01,756 - I never believe anything that you tell me. - Ho, ho, ho. 66 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,127 - Very funny. - No. It's very sad. 67 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:10,031 Not as sad as a man having dinner with a photograph. 68 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:13,630 Hey, come on. I'm celebrating. It's my 45th wedding anniversary. 69 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,234 Very touching... 70 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,610 except today isn't your anniversary. 71 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:24,241 - Look, Suzie was my wife. - Yes, I realize that. 72 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:27,309 - I should know my own... - And she was my sister. I was your best man. 73 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,083 - March 15, 1952. - Yes. Correct. 74 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,648 Except today is the 16th. 75 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,490 - What? That's impossible. - Why? That's the way it works. 76 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:39,497 First you get the 15th, then right after that is the 16th. 77 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,932 And then later on comes the 17 th. Here. 78 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:45,493 Take a look at the date. 79 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,433 Sixteenth... 80 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,672 God, I've blown my own anniversary. 81 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,149 Sorry, kiddo. 82 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,246 Here. 83 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,883 What the hell? Hey, if you need clothes... 84 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,553 the Salvation Army's over on Fourth Street. 85 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,291 - These will be perfect. - Huh? Perfect for what? 86 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,299 Listen, will you do me a favor? 87 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,029 I worked in a department store for half of my life. 88 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,867 If you don't buy something, you put it back. 89 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,602 Herbie... happy anniversary. 90 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:26,076 - That was yesterday. - Go ahead, open it. 91 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,248 "Mexico and the Yucat�n. 92 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,448 "Witness the spectacle of a rare solar eclipse... 93 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,356 from the foot of the Mayan pyramids. " This is a cruise. 94 00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:43,122 That's right. Deluxe accommodations. 95 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,391 All right, where'd you get these? 96 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,925 Do you remember a guy named No-Neck? They finally busted him. 97 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,664 He gave me the tickets in lieu of the cash he owed me. 98 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:55,832 Now, wait a minute. Somebody owed you money? 99 00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:58,775 How dumb do you think I am? 100 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:02,747 What are you gonna do? Stay cooped up in this mausoleum you call home? 101 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,216 - You're still alive. Hasn't anybody told you? - Look who's talkin'. 102 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,685 You're damn right, look who's talking! 103 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:12,212 - Don't you get tired of being alone? - No. The answer's no. 104 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:16,455 - Herbie, there's gonna be gourmet food, free drinks, - No. No. 105 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,463 A bevy of pretty broads. 106 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:21,295 - Sure, because you're looking for a meaningful relationship. - Why not? 107 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:24,302 - You've never had one in your whole life. - I got news for you. 108 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:28,136 My whole life isn't over yet, which is why I suggest we get on that ship... 109 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:33,167 and sip champagne with some lonely, rich broads. 110 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:38,411 Who knows? We may get lucky during the eclipse. 111 00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:41,419 Charlie, hear me. 112 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,853 The answer is no. 113 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,584 Hold it.! Hold it.! Coming through.! 114 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,253 Two customers. 115 00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:51,262 Made it just in time, huh? 116 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:54,026 Herbie, come this way. 117 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,125 - It's the wrong section. - It looks like our seats. 118 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,136 Yeah, those are first-class seats. 119 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,434 What's the matter? We're not first class? 120 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:02,371 But our boarding things here say... 121 00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:05,205 I don't care what the boarding things say. Will you sit down. 122 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,941 - Yeah, but these could belong to somebody else. - Relax, will ya? 123 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,949 I mean, the doors are closed. 124 00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:14,646 It's not like we're gonna be stopping on 34th Street to pick up passengers. 125 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,211 - Okay, Charlie. - Gentlemen? 126 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,281 - Thank you. - Ah, thank you. 127 00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:21,349 Thank you very much. 128 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,963 - Sir? - I may become a frequent flyer. 129 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,966 Damn good mimosa. 130 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,968 Here's to good living, kid. 131 00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:32,971 Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 132 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,906 Okay, now. Thank you very much. 133 00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:39,411 Okay, now begins the first leg of our honeymoon. 134 00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,412 It's only a year late. 135 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,416 Mmm, I'd like to make a small bet on where they're gonna be sitting. 136 00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:47,418 There's Mom. Say hi, Mom. 137 00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,647 Stop it, will you, Allan? 138 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:52,748 And my beautiful bride. 139 00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,316 Let me see here. 140 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,659 Excuse me. I believe you're sitting in our seats. 141 00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:05,568 Yeah, that figures. 142 00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,607 - I'm sorry. - That's all right. I'm sorry. See what you do? 143 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:12,542 - May I see your boarding passes, please? - Actually, it's my fault. 144 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,604 The doctor here thought it would be best if I were not subjected... 145 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:18,172 to the stress of economy class. 146 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:23,051 37-H and J. You gentlemen will have to pay for these drinks. 147 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,056 Maybe Blue Cross could cover it. 148 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,957 That's... 149 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:31,019 That's very funny, ma'am. Very witty. 150 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,539 Hey. 151 00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:45,338 Aren't those the seats they use for transporting convicted felons? 152 00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,402 Herbie, sit down. 153 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,778 You're scaring the kids. 154 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,750 Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes... 155 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,558 we'll begin our nonstop express service to Miami, Florida. 156 00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,895 - Our flight time will be approximately five hours. 157 00:11:16,242 --> 00:11:19,075 Welcome aboard the beautiful M.S. Westerdam. 158 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:23,275 - Your cabin stewards are happy to meet any special needs. - Ooh. 159 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:26,580 - So do not hesitate to ask for their assistance. - Boy, oh, boy. 160 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:31,089 And please note, there will be a compulsory lifeboat drill today at 5:30 p. m. 161 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,318 Oh, Mr. Leu. Back again. 162 00:11:33,392 --> 00:11:35,986 Nice to see you and the lovely Mrs... 163 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:39,395 Oh, no. It's someone else, isn't it? Hello! 164 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:42,696 I'd like you to meet my dance hosts... Mac... 165 00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,702 - Jonathan. - Come on! 166 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,568 Please report to the purser's desk. Mr. Dunbar... 167 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:51,132 Herbie, listen to me. I wanted to tell you something before you... 168 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,872 - Herbie... - Oh, wow.! 169 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,315 I tell you something, Charlie. 170 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,546 When they say "deluxe accommodations," they mean deluxe. 171 00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:03,918 Yeah, well, Herbie, "deluxe" can mean several different things. 172 00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:07,584 For example, in a diner, deluxe means "comes with french fries. " 173 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,653 - Come on. - This is it. Oh, Ma! 174 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,963 This is gorgeous! What a suite. Oh! 175 00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,730 - Hi.! - Hello, ladies. 176 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,772 I want those small pieces in the bedroom. Who the hell are you? 177 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,774 - Lizzy! - What, Ma? 178 00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:26,243 Get a load of slouchy here. What, does he come with the stateroom? 179 00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:28,974 Ma! Where's your hospitality? 180 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:33,382 Now, listen! I have been on a plane for three hours. 181 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:36,250 I have been in a taxi cab for an hour and a half. 182 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:40,691 I need to take a crap and a nap, and I do not need an audience. 183 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,628 - Sounds like a party we can miss. - We'll see you later, ladies. 184 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,927 Bye now. 185 00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:50,025 Oh, boy. Did you see the chassis on that broad? 186 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,696 I'll bet she's worth a few mil. 187 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:56,139 This must be wrong. I mean, why would they have us way down here? 188 00:12:56,208 --> 00:13:00,542 I like it down here. Gives us a chance to get away from the commotion up top. 189 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,446 What, like the other passengers and the view? This is us. 190 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:06,349 Listen to me. I've been meaning to tell you something. 191 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:09,945 Before you go into the room, Herbie, please listen to me. 192 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:22,597 - Cozy, isn't it? - It's what? Cozy? 193 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:26,069 A good fart will give you a concussion. 194 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,629 Needs a little daylight. 195 00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:46,720 Herb, this is the best possible thing that could've happened. 196 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,886 Gee, I can't wait to hear why. 197 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,294 - As dance hosts, it's actually our job... - What? 198 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:55,492 - To flirt with all the classy broads. - Our job? Dance hosts? 199 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,435 Yeah, that's how I was able to afford the tickets. 200 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:02,099 Instead of paying for the cruise, I signed us up as dance hosts. 201 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,166 - So the cruise is free. - What do you mean it's free, you idiot? 202 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:09,010 - We're workin' here! - We're not workin'. We're dancing and cavorting. 203 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,675 Oh, you moron. You don't even know how to dance. 204 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,082 Well, that's why I brought you here. 205 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:19,554 Oh. Perhaps we're interrupting you gentlemen at a bad time. 206 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,958 Welcome aboard. We're gonna be sharing the bathroom. 207 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:26,361 This is Jonathan Deveraux. I'm Mac Vela, U.S.M.C., retired. 208 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,128 - I'll be your liaison to the C.D. - The what "D"? 209 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:31,192 Cruise director. Gil Godwyn. 210 00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:34,831 Oh, it's too bad you got Gil for your first gig. 211 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,137 - He's a real prick. - Control freak. 212 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,200 - Friggin' Nazi. - Classic megalomaniac. 213 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:41,439 Not a nice man. 214 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:44,414 Well, if you have any questions, feel free. 215 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:48,977 I got one question. What's the fastest route off this ship? 216 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,416 Excuse me. 217 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,611 - Hiya. - Hello. 218 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:29,716 - Okay, Chief. Let's pull the gangway in. - Take in the gangway, Captain. 219 00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:33,026 All visitors should now be ashore. Last call, please. 220 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,158 All visitors should now be ashore. 221 00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:38,203 Pardon me! 222 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:40,101 Ohh! 223 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:45,109 Oh, my God. Sir, are you okay? 224 00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:47,668 - Yeah, I think. - There you go. You sure? 225 00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,941 Thank you. Yeah. 226 00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,347 - God, that's embarrassing. - Only for you. 227 00:15:54,419 --> 00:15:56,444 - Oh, my God! - What? 228 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:58,717 The ship's moving. 229 00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:01,918 - Ships are known to do that. - Wait a minute! I need that gangplank! 230 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:05,760 Please.! Hello.! Somebody.! I gotta use that sucker.! 231 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:08,061 L... I've gotta... Hello.! 232 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,761 Where the hell did they go with my luggage? 233 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:15,136 Oh, God Almighty. Thank you very much. What's the matter with you? 234 00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:18,005 - You got a problem? - Not really. 235 00:16:18,076 --> 00:16:22,479 L- I always cry at sailings. They're so romantic. 236 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,483 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 237 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,485 Mm-hmm. 238 00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:45,498 Pleasejoin your cruise staffby the Lido Pool... 239 00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:49,905 on the upper promenade deck aft for the gala sail-away fiesta. 240 00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:52,967 Meet your cruise director and enjoy the music and drinks and prizes. 241 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:55,309 Herbie. 242 00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:58,645 Herbie, I know you're upset now, but in a few days... 243 00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:00,651 you'll be thanking me. 244 00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:03,813 Listen, Charlie. What is in this for you? 245 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:08,189 Now, tell me, and no shit because I'm too tired. 246 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:12,856 Okay, fine. You remember my old pal Tony? Tony. 247 00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,865 - Anthony Caldoni? - Yeah. 248 00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,867 The mail fraud guy. 249 00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:19,563 First of all, those charges were dropped. 250 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:22,129 But more importantly, guess what he's doing today? 251 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,141 I don't give a rat's ass. 252 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,576 He's married to one of the richest broads in Palm Beach. 253 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:31,377 And guess how they met? One, two, cha-cha-cha. 254 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,941 - One, two... - No way, Jose. 255 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:37,386 Just wake me up at the first port of call. That's where I'm gettin' off. 256 00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,118 - I hate to see you do this, Herbie. - Why is that, Charles? 257 00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:43,457 Because if you don't dance, you lose your employee status... 258 00:17:43,528 --> 00:17:47,225 and that means you gotta pay for the whole cruise... that's 2,500 smackaroonies. 259 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:51,235 You son of a bitch! You're the one who should be paying. 260 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:54,500 Will the dance hosts please report to the main ballroom. 261 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,633 Herbie, they're playing our song. 262 00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:27,132 Ahem.! 263 00:18:27,205 --> 00:18:29,139 Very nice hair. 264 00:18:29,207 --> 00:18:32,836 Right. Nails. Cut 'em. Uh! 265 00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,209 Let me. Thank you. 266 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:39,444 Excellent, Mac. Jonathan, clip the ear hair. 267 00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:43,010 - I beg your pardon? - Ear hair! 268 00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:48,822 I'm very skeptical of dance hosts who can't keep time. 269 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:52,261 - Mister... - Me? Sullivan, Herb. 270 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,323 - Uh, and that's Gordon, Charles. - Lovely. 271 00:18:55,400 --> 00:19:00,064 Sorry we were late, but, uh, it's a very big boat. 272 00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:04,074 This boat... happens to be the flagship vessel... 273 00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:08,135 of the world's premiere cruise line, and I am the cruise director. 274 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,238 Sir, yes, sir! 275 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,783 I've a feeling you two are going to be trouble. 276 00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:16,582 - Oh... - No. We're pussycats. 277 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,748 For your sake, I hope... 278 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,686 Is that cologne or Armor All? 279 00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:29,632 That's close, close. It's cologne, but I bought it at a gas station. 280 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:32,431 I've got my eye on you. 281 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,734 You're not so bad yourself. 282 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,901 All right. 283 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:41,571 Gentlemen, we're 30 seconds from intros. 284 00:19:41,646 --> 00:19:45,412 Now, remember that you are the representatives of this ship... 285 00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:49,580 and will, at all times, behave in a manner appropriate thereto. 286 00:19:49,654 --> 00:19:54,421 You will be courteous and respectful at all times. 287 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:59,021 When the music stops, you will escort your partner back to her seat. 288 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:03,329 And above all, you will not fraternize privately... 289 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,393 with the guests at any time. 290 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:08,462 - Uh, no. - If you do, it's grounds for immediate dismissal. 291 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,440 Permission to speak, sir. 292 00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:13,307 Denied. Mac, mike. 293 00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,708 - Who's Mac Mike? - I don't know. 294 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:28,316 Ohh, yes! 295 00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:32,727 Ladies and gentlemen, the M. S. Westerdam proudly presents... 296 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,857 your cruise director... 297 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,867 the very talented... 298 00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:40,336 Mr. Gil Godwyn! 299 00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,339 Thank you! 300 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,501 Can't believe it. The man actually opens for himself. 301 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:50,480 Thank you so very much. Aren't they absolutely marvelous? 302 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:52,244 Thank you. Thank you. 303 00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,512 - Very good. Very good. - Thank you. 304 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,577 - Very good. Very good. - Magnificent. 305 00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,850 Moving experience. 306 00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,721 Thank you so much. 307 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:34,782 You're too kind, really. Thank you, girls. 308 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:38,853 What could his parents have possibly done to him? 309 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:42,991 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce our dance hosts. 310 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:45,127 Here they are... Mac, 311 00:21:45,203 --> 00:21:49,105 Jonathan, Phil... 312 00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:52,075 - How do you like him? - Oh, he's too short. 313 00:21:52,143 --> 00:21:54,634 Julio... 314 00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:57,614 - Bobby, Scott, - Me! Me! 315 00:21:57,682 --> 00:22:00,412 Herb and Ch... Ch... 316 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,419 Ch... Charlie! Charlie! 317 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,478 Hey, Charlie. 318 00:22:06,791 --> 00:22:08,918 Charlie. 319 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,485 - That guy Herb is cute, huh? - Mm-hmm. 320 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:31,238 Well, let's get 'em while they're hot. 321 00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:33,250 Just an expression. 322 00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,616 Let's go. 323 00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:46,454 It's just like the beach at Normandy. 324 00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:49,864 Gentlemen, I didn't hire you to be wallflowers. 325 00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:53,132 I don't want anyone on my ship ever to feel ignored. 326 00:22:53,204 --> 00:22:56,196 Mrs. Carruthers, may I have the great pleasure? 327 00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:59,175 Ah. Oh. 328 00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,109 Kiss-ass. 329 00:23:09,988 --> 00:23:11,979 Take it, fellas! 330 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,288 - I'm Mac. Welcome aboard. - Thank you, Mac. 331 00:23:19,864 --> 00:23:22,526 Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Where do you think you're going? 332 00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:27,038 Oh, taking on a lot of water in the forward compartment, sir. 333 00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:29,835 Oh, God. You have two minutes. 334 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:32,672 Go. 335 00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:40,915 - Any time you're ready, Herb. - Huh? 336 00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:45,582 Silly old me. I do expect my dance hosts to actually dance. 337 00:23:45,657 --> 00:23:49,525 Well, of course, yeah. It's just that I don't know if I'm up to... 338 00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,528 I'll tell you the truth, Gil. 339 00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:54,588 - I lost my wife not too long ago. - Oh, good. Good. 340 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:56,600 Tell it to the ladies. They eat it up. 341 00:23:56,668 --> 00:23:59,796 Um, do I take a number or, uh... 342 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:02,704 may I serve myself? 343 00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:05,265 Yeah. Well, I'm kind of new at this. 344 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:08,176 Well, you can dance, can't you? 345 00:24:12,283 --> 00:24:14,581 Ohh! 346 00:24:14,653 --> 00:24:17,019 Oh, you can dance. 347 00:24:30,368 --> 00:24:33,064 Ohh! 348 00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:36,403 Oh, I sure hope these pins hold. 349 00:24:36,474 --> 00:24:39,409 - What pins? - Oh, nothing serious. 350 00:24:39,477 --> 00:24:43,004 They just keep my legs attached to my hips. 351 00:24:43,081 --> 00:24:45,072 Da-da 352 00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:43,469 - Have you ever seen so much food in your life? - Spectacular! 353 00:25:43,541 --> 00:25:46,169 I was a size four when I got on this ship. 354 00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:48,940 Excuse me for butting in, but don't I know you from someplace? 355 00:25:49,013 --> 00:25:51,140 - W-Well, I don't know... - Pardon me. 356 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:55,409 Uh... 357 00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:39,591 That's a good smoke. 358 00:26:43,735 --> 00:26:45,999 Sometimes. 359 00:26:48,406 --> 00:26:51,603 Whoo-hoo.! 360 00:26:51,676 --> 00:26:54,873 - I like it. - Bravo. 361 00:26:57,682 --> 00:27:00,708 Oh, thank you very much. Is there a seat open there? 362 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,719 - Oh, yes, of course. - Well, sure. 363 00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:06,223 - Pull up a chair. - Here we go. 364 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,125 - Looks like it's your lucky night, kid. - It is that. It is. 365 00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:12,686 Luck had absolutely nothing to do with it. 366 00:27:12,764 --> 00:27:15,927 She played that hand splendidly. Absolutely splendidly. 367 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,061 - Why, thank you. - That's okay. You can drop the accent now. 368 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:22,936 You want a refill on this, kid? 369 00:27:23,007 --> 00:27:25,134 - Your glass was empty. - Oh, thanks. 370 00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:28,111 Name's Charlie Gordon. I'm single and I'm lookin'. 371 00:27:28,179 --> 00:27:31,808 Liz LaBreche. I'm single and I ain't lookin', but thanks for the drink. 372 00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:34,317 - Cheers. - You're welcome. 373 00:27:34,385 --> 00:27:38,287 - They call me Gordo on the street. - What street is that, Gordo? 374 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,586 Wall Street. You ever hear of it? 375 00:27:40,658 --> 00:27:43,491 What exactly do you do on Wall Street? 376 00:27:43,561 --> 00:27:46,052 Well, I have a small hot dog stand. 377 00:27:46,130 --> 00:27:48,189 When things go badly over there... 378 00:27:48,266 --> 00:27:50,962 I'm in the mergers and acquisitions game. 379 00:27:51,035 --> 00:27:52,969 The buy-in's $1,000. 380 00:27:53,037 --> 00:27:56,939 A thousand dollars. That reminds me of my first year of college. 381 00:27:57,008 --> 00:28:00,171 Where exactly did you go to college, Gordo? 382 00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:02,736 Oh, that's a little place called F.U. 383 00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:07,249 - Your name, sir, is... - Carswell. 384 00:28:07,318 --> 00:28:09,912 Now, boys, boys, boys. Let's not have a pissin' match here. 385 00:28:09,988 --> 00:28:11,922 We're here to play cards. Let's play. 386 00:28:11,990 --> 00:28:14,356 Yes, we're here to play poker... 387 00:28:14,425 --> 00:28:18,657 if you can raise the thousand dollars. 388 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:22,530 Oh, a thousand dollars. May I have that deck for a minute, please? 389 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,262 I'll give it right back to you. I just want to take a look. 390 00:28:25,336 --> 00:28:28,772 I'll bet you $5,000 even money... 391 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,774 top card's a picture. 392 00:28:30,842 --> 00:28:33,140 - Even money? - Yes, sir. 393 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,873 - You've got yourself a bet. - Okay. 394 00:28:35,947 --> 00:28:37,938 Turn it over. 395 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,013 You owe me $5,000. 396 00:28:44,055 --> 00:28:46,319 That was a lot of fun. 397 00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:51,226 I'll tell you what... let's go again for 10, huh? 398 00:28:51,296 --> 00:28:53,992 You don't have to if you don't want to. 399 00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:57,159 If you want to quit right now, it's okay with me. I'll give you the five grand. 400 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,294 Let's make it 20. 401 00:28:59,370 --> 00:29:03,033 Yes. Yes. I like that. Now we're having some fun. 402 00:29:03,107 --> 00:29:05,735 Twenty? 403 00:29:05,810 --> 00:29:09,940 You want to bet $20,000 the top card is not a picture? 404 00:29:10,014 --> 00:29:12,141 You've got a deal. 405 00:29:12,216 --> 00:29:16,550 Okay, boy. $20,000. Turn it over. 406 00:29:18,122 --> 00:29:21,558 Turn it over, please. 407 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:28,766 Whew. 408 00:29:30,768 --> 00:29:33,362 That's very interesting. 409 00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:36,168 Oh, boy, is that interesting. 410 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,174 You want to double it again? 411 00:29:39,344 --> 00:29:42,074 Yes. 412 00:29:42,146 --> 00:29:46,105 Enough of this child's play. I owe you $15,000. 413 00:29:46,184 --> 00:29:48,118 - All right. - Let's play poker. 414 00:29:48,186 --> 00:29:50,746 Okay. Here we go. 415 00:29:50,822 --> 00:29:53,256 That's a lot of fun. 416 00:29:55,526 --> 00:29:58,984 - I'm gonna get a brownie. - A brownie? Yeah. 417 00:30:00,832 --> 00:30:04,233 - L... - Oh. Sorry. 418 00:30:04,302 --> 00:30:07,465 We shall have to call the Guinness Book of Records about your friend Charlie. 419 00:30:07,538 --> 00:30:09,472 Now what? 420 00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:13,670 - He's taking the longest piss in recorded freaking history. - Oh. 421 00:30:13,745 --> 00:30:17,943 There's a lady at table 16 who's arrived late. I suggest you welcome her. 422 00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:20,109 Okay. Where's table 16? 423 00:30:20,184 --> 00:30:22,118 Over there. 424 00:30:22,186 --> 00:30:24,468 Oh, what a lovely room. 425 00:30:25,770 --> 00:30:29,831 - Oh, that, uh... that... lady. - Mm-hmm. 426 00:30:36,681 --> 00:30:38,774 Hi there. Excuse me. 427 00:30:38,849 --> 00:30:41,010 - Hello. - Nice to see you're still on board. 428 00:30:41,085 --> 00:30:44,077 Thank you. I just wondered if you'd care to dance. 429 00:30:44,155 --> 00:30:48,922 Actually, I've seen you move. How do I know you won't trip and drag me overboard? 430 00:30:48,993 --> 00:30:51,553 Well, you don't. 431 00:30:51,629 --> 00:30:54,564 But I swim even better than I dance. 432 00:30:54,632 --> 00:30:57,192 - Go for it, Mom. - I promise I won't bite. 433 00:31:00,004 --> 00:31:02,666 Here goes nothing. 434 00:31:11,482 --> 00:31:14,474 I haven't danced in a long time. 435 00:31:14,552 --> 00:31:22,885 Slow, slow, quick-quick. 436 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,123 Don't look down. Look at me. That's it. 437 00:31:26,197 --> 00:31:29,530 Honey, tell me I did the right thing by bringing Mom along. 438 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,036 You did the right thing. 439 00:31:33,104 --> 00:31:37,438 Mmm. Now let's go sneak inside one of those lifeboats. 440 00:31:39,977 --> 00:31:42,969 You and whoever you used to dance with... 441 00:31:43,047 --> 00:31:45,106 you must have been great together. 442 00:31:45,182 --> 00:31:48,015 Now promenade. Yeah, that would be Suzie and me. 443 00:31:48,085 --> 00:31:50,212 We danced all night long at our wedding... 444 00:31:50,287 --> 00:31:53,279 and it seems like we never stopped dancing for 46 years. 445 00:31:53,357 --> 00:31:56,690 - What a lovely image. - Oh, thank you. 446 00:31:56,761 --> 00:31:59,252 Now tell me all about you. Everything. 447 00:31:59,330 --> 00:32:01,321 - Everything? - Sure. 448 00:32:01,399 --> 00:32:05,699 - It's only a 10-day cruise. - Well, give me the Reader's Digest version. 449 00:32:07,338 --> 00:32:09,306 Okay. 450 00:32:09,373 --> 00:32:11,341 - I live in New York. - Yeah. 451 00:32:11,409 --> 00:32:14,970 - I was a book editor at Doubleday. - Ooh. 452 00:32:15,045 --> 00:32:17,570 - Mother of two. - Mm-hmm. 453 00:32:17,648 --> 00:32:20,139 Recent widow of one. 454 00:32:20,217 --> 00:32:24,745 And I was... I was shanghaied here by... by newlyweds. 455 00:32:24,822 --> 00:32:26,756 - Oh. - Mmm. 456 00:32:26,824 --> 00:32:29,952 - The bride is my daughter. - Oh, well, I'm sure that she meant well. 457 00:32:30,027 --> 00:32:32,860 - I'm sure. - Are you having any fun? 458 00:32:32,930 --> 00:32:37,424 - I don't know yet. - Well, whad'ya know. 459 00:33:00,791 --> 00:33:02,656 Thank you. 460 00:33:02,726 --> 00:33:05,456 Thank you. 461 00:33:07,898 --> 00:33:11,129 That was, uh, fun. 462 00:33:11,202 --> 00:33:13,670 - Yeah. - Doctor... 463 00:33:13,737 --> 00:33:17,173 - Oh, uh, Sullivan. Call me Herb. - Vivian. 464 00:33:17,241 --> 00:33:21,075 I could use a little fresh air. 465 00:33:21,145 --> 00:33:23,670 - Join me? - Ye... Oh. 466 00:33:23,747 --> 00:33:25,874 - Well, I'd love to. - I promise I won't bite. 467 00:33:25,950 --> 00:33:30,410 You know something? I'm gonna go along with you in case you change your mind. 468 00:33:30,488 --> 00:33:33,855 Are you getting enough zeroes in there? 469 00:33:40,498 --> 00:33:43,331 - Eighteen thousand. - Thank you. 470 00:33:45,436 --> 00:33:49,065 Enjoying the company of a stunning lady... 471 00:33:49,139 --> 00:33:53,075 is all I wish to take away from this table, sir. 472 00:33:53,143 --> 00:33:56,044 Mere confetti. 473 00:33:56,113 --> 00:33:59,776 Confetti, sir. 474 00:33:59,850 --> 00:34:03,718 - Excuse me. - Very, very nice. 475 00:34:06,457 --> 00:34:10,291 I once heard that if a whale loses its mate... 476 00:34:10,361 --> 00:34:12,852 it never takes another. 477 00:34:12,930 --> 00:34:16,730 Do you suppose that could really happen? 478 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:20,031 I haven't spoken to a lot of whales lately, but... 479 00:34:20,104 --> 00:34:23,665 hell, if it was perfect the first time, then... 480 00:34:23,741 --> 00:34:27,040 My feelings... My feelings exactly. 481 00:34:27,111 --> 00:34:29,477 Ooh. 482 00:34:29,547 --> 00:34:31,879 Better not fall on our heads. 483 00:34:31,949 --> 00:34:35,248 What, this? Oh, no, that's 50-gauge cable. 484 00:34:35,319 --> 00:34:39,016 Hell, that could hold a couple of elephants playing patty-cake. 485 00:34:39,089 --> 00:34:41,922 Either you know your elephants or you know your cable. 486 00:34:41,992 --> 00:34:44,358 I was a swabbie. Pacific area. 487 00:34:44,428 --> 00:34:46,487 - Really? - Yeah. 488 00:34:46,564 --> 00:34:50,125 - Did you ever have to get in one of those? - No, ma'am. 489 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,134 Thank God. 490 00:34:52,202 --> 00:34:55,069 Matowski did though. 491 00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:59,473 - Who? - Ensign Myron Matowski. 492 00:34:59,543 --> 00:35:03,377 He was nuts about this Filipino girl, and her parents objected... 493 00:35:03,447 --> 00:35:06,314 so one night they put her in a boat to send her to another island. 494 00:35:06,383 --> 00:35:10,547 Matowski hijacks one of these lifeboats, gets in there... 495 00:35:10,621 --> 00:35:13,112 whoosh... out he goes, sends up a flare. 496 00:35:13,190 --> 00:35:15,454 He damn near started a naval battle. 497 00:35:15,526 --> 00:35:17,517 - Did she see the flare? - Are you kidding? 498 00:35:17,595 --> 00:35:21,053 The last I heard, they were workin' on their sixth grandchild... 499 00:35:21,131 --> 00:35:24,589 and she had her own brand of applesauce. 500 00:35:29,273 --> 00:35:31,400 So... So tell me... 501 00:35:31,475 --> 00:35:34,273 how does a swabbie become a doctor? 502 00:35:34,345 --> 00:35:37,246 A what? Yeah. 503 00:35:37,314 --> 00:35:40,010 L- I wanted to explain that to you. 504 00:35:40,084 --> 00:35:42,882 - You don't have to explain. - Yes... No, I wanted to... explain it. 505 00:35:42,953 --> 00:35:46,389 - That's... - Well, would you like to walk me to my cabin? 506 00:35:46,457 --> 00:35:50,553 Yeah, I would, but I-I-I ca-ca-can't. 507 00:35:50,628 --> 00:35:52,562 I can take a hint. 508 00:35:52,630 --> 00:35:54,564 No. What hint? 509 00:35:54,632 --> 00:35:57,795 I promised a couple of chest butchers that I'd have a brandy with them. 510 00:35:57,868 --> 00:35:59,859 Right. 511 00:36:05,175 --> 00:36:07,166 Chest butchers? 512 00:36:08,312 --> 00:36:10,712 What the hell kind of a moron are you? 513 00:36:12,716 --> 00:36:16,709 Now, why would you go and do something like that? 514 00:36:16,787 --> 00:36:19,551 - To impress you. - Oh! 515 00:36:19,623 --> 00:36:23,218 Oh. Well, keep it up. 516 00:36:23,293 --> 00:36:25,352 It just might work. 517 00:36:30,668 --> 00:36:33,728 Mr. Gordon.! 518 00:36:35,806 --> 00:36:40,175 What you do, like samurai. Great style. 519 00:36:52,823 --> 00:36:56,384 You have most terrible accent. 520 00:36:56,460 --> 00:36:59,554 - Where you learn Japanese? - Okinawa. 521 00:36:59,630 --> 00:37:04,897 - Oh. - It's a small sushi joint on the Sunset Strip. 522 00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:12,370 Where were you? 523 00:37:12,443 --> 00:37:15,071 A passenger requested an escort, sir. 524 00:37:15,145 --> 00:37:18,080 - Fraternizing. - Nobody "fratted" anybody. 525 00:37:18,148 --> 00:37:20,378 - All we did was... Oh, my God. - Don't tell me that. 526 00:37:20,451 --> 00:37:24,046 Coming through, please. Injured man here. Injury. 527 00:37:26,690 --> 00:37:29,750 Well, if it isn't the Phantom of the Ballroom. 528 00:37:29,827 --> 00:37:32,387 I oughta sue you guys. 529 00:37:32,463 --> 00:37:35,330 Everything around here is so slippery and wet. 530 00:37:35,399 --> 00:37:38,960 - It's an ocean liner. - I may never dance again. 531 00:37:39,036 --> 00:37:41,596 Aga... I haven't seen you dance yet. 532 00:37:41,672 --> 00:37:44,937 Fortunately for you, I found the infirmary. 533 00:37:45,008 --> 00:37:48,409 The infirmary is closed at this hour. 534 00:37:48,479 --> 00:37:52,745 - That's what I found out. - Look, let... 535 00:37:52,816 --> 00:37:57,810 Let me... Let me speak candidly, gentlemen. 536 00:37:57,888 --> 00:38:00,686 I am this close to a promotion... 537 00:38:00,758 --> 00:38:03,750 that would make me vice president of entertainment. 538 00:38:03,827 --> 00:38:05,920 Wow. 539 00:38:05,996 --> 00:38:08,362 I intend to get that job... 540 00:38:08,432 --> 00:38:12,562 by showing how well I can keep two old dickheads like you in line. 541 00:38:12,636 --> 00:38:14,695 - Oh, now, listen, you... - No, you listen. 542 00:38:14,772 --> 00:38:18,469 Don't mess with me. I'm your worst nightmare. 543 00:38:18,542 --> 00:38:22,501 A song-and-dance man raised on a military base. 544 00:38:22,579 --> 00:38:24,570 Dismissed. 545 00:38:25,849 --> 00:38:27,942 Hoo.! 546 00:38:34,825 --> 00:38:38,522 Now, you seem to be annoyed with me, Herbie. 547 00:38:38,595 --> 00:38:41,860 Tell me if I'm wrong. 548 00:38:41,932 --> 00:38:45,459 And what's this about you leaving the dance floor? 549 00:38:45,536 --> 00:38:47,470 None of your business. 550 00:38:47,538 --> 00:38:51,941 None of my business. How do you like that? 551 00:38:52,009 --> 00:38:56,343 - Why are you sterilizing your trousers? - I'm steaming them. 552 00:38:56,413 --> 00:38:59,246 Oh. Then what are you gonna do, eat 'em with garlic butter? 553 00:38:59,316 --> 00:39:01,841 It takes the wrinkles out, you imbecile! 554 00:39:01,919 --> 00:39:05,514 Huh. A man who's steaming his pants at midnight. 555 00:39:05,589 --> 00:39:09,582 - That generally means there's a broad. - No broad. 556 00:39:09,660 --> 00:39:12,424 Well, that's too bad, because I got one lined up. 557 00:39:12,496 --> 00:39:14,430 Rich. Texas rich. 558 00:39:14,498 --> 00:39:16,830 With an ass so beautiful... 559 00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:19,562 it's a shame she has to sit down on it. 560 00:39:19,636 --> 00:39:22,400 Will you do me a favor and just knock that stuff off? 561 00:39:22,472 --> 00:39:25,202 I'm sorry. I forgot you were cooking. 562 00:39:25,275 --> 00:39:28,108 Now that you've got this girl, how long is it gonna be before she finds out... 563 00:39:28,178 --> 00:39:30,112 you're not the man she thought you were? 564 00:39:30,180 --> 00:39:33,377 - By then, she'll be in love. - In love with a lie. 565 00:39:33,450 --> 00:39:35,714 Nobody's perfect. 566 00:39:35,786 --> 00:39:40,723 I think a man should always tell a woman the truth before she falls in love. 567 00:39:40,791 --> 00:39:42,725 Otherwise, how do you know it's real? 568 00:39:42,793 --> 00:39:46,251 What's real is, if I play my cards right, I'll wind up on easy street. 569 00:39:46,330 --> 00:39:49,390 Once I'm there, I'm inviting you over every Sunday. 570 00:39:49,466 --> 00:39:53,095 - I don't want to have anything to do with this. - Okay, then don't come over. 571 00:39:53,170 --> 00:39:56,662 She thinks I'm a doctor. 572 00:39:56,740 --> 00:39:59,300 - Who? - Oh, nobody. 573 00:40:07,651 --> 00:40:10,484 You met a broad. Da-da 574 00:40:20,330 --> 00:40:24,289 Y- You're crazy. Years of insanity have made you crazy. 575 00:40:24,368 --> 00:40:28,168 - Do I look crippled or not? - Yeah, crippled up here. 576 00:40:28,238 --> 00:40:33,437 Oh, cut it out! 577 00:40:33,510 --> 00:40:37,002 Most of you will work the dance class from 10:00 to 11:00... 578 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,243 and the wine and cheese tasting from 12:00 to 1:00. 579 00:40:40,317 --> 00:40:42,342 Please use moderation. 580 00:40:42,419 --> 00:40:46,321 The last thing I need is flatulating dance hosts staggering about the ship. 581 00:40:46,390 --> 00:40:49,848 I bet his father was cruise director on the Bismarck. 582 00:40:49,927 --> 00:40:52,088 Think of yourselves... 583 00:40:52,162 --> 00:40:54,494 as butterflies, gentlemen... 584 00:40:54,564 --> 00:40:57,590 and our guests as flowers. 585 00:40:57,668 --> 00:41:02,002 Your job is to pollinate the flowers with hospitality. 586 00:41:02,072 --> 00:41:05,166 This guy's been at sea too long. 587 00:41:05,242 --> 00:41:08,370 And if you screw up, I am personally going to see to it... 588 00:41:08,445 --> 00:41:12,814 that you are removed from the ship and charged the full round-trip passage... 589 00:41:12,883 --> 00:41:18,651 of $5,462.51 as indicated in your contracts. 590 00:41:18,722 --> 00:41:21,190 What the hell is... Five thou... Five thousand? 591 00:41:21,258 --> 00:41:23,488 You told me 2,000! 592 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:28,623 As for you, Mr. Gordon, Dr. Johanson will see you at 1100 hours sharp. 593 00:41:28,699 --> 00:41:33,159 I don't think that's necessary, sir. The foot just needs rest. 594 00:41:33,236 --> 00:41:37,332 You will remain off your... injured foot... 595 00:41:37,407 --> 00:41:40,069 until Dr. Johanson says otherwise. Are we clear? 596 00:41:40,143 --> 00:41:42,668 Yes, sir. Clear! Extremely clear, sir. 597 00:41:42,746 --> 00:41:45,715 Brilliant. Dismissed. 598 00:41:52,589 --> 00:41:55,581 All passengers disembarking at Playa del Carmen... 599 00:41:55,659 --> 00:41:57,718 please report to tender deck, midship. 600 00:42:01,898 --> 00:42:06,494 Those of you attending the festival must board the fiesta bus at 4:10. 601 00:42:06,570 --> 00:42:08,765 Remember, the last tender... 602 00:42:08,839 --> 00:42:11,637 will return from shore at 4:30. 603 00:42:19,916 --> 00:42:24,182 Well... look who's here. 604 00:42:24,254 --> 00:42:27,883 Flowers and all. I'll bet they're for me. 605 00:42:27,958 --> 00:42:32,691 - Who else would they be for? - Save it... Hoss. 606 00:42:34,097 --> 00:42:36,429 - Come on in. - Thank you. 607 00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:39,367 Thank you very much. Sure appreciate it. 608 00:42:39,436 --> 00:42:43,566 You know, the first day you was in here, sniffing around like a yard dog? 609 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,938 I knew you'd be back. 610 00:42:46,009 --> 00:42:48,000 Ma, for the love of Pete.! 611 00:42:48,078 --> 00:42:51,104 - Who's Pete? My competition? - That's right. 612 00:42:51,181 --> 00:42:53,274 And guess who I'm rootin' for? 613 00:42:53,350 --> 00:42:56,911 - Oh, Charlie! - Hi. 614 00:42:56,987 --> 00:43:00,946 - Oh, it's so nice to see you. - Oh, yeah. 615 00:43:01,024 --> 00:43:02,958 Are these for me? 616 00:43:03,026 --> 00:43:05,722 - No. - No? 617 00:43:05,796 --> 00:43:08,458 - Oh, yes! - Ohh. 618 00:43:08,532 --> 00:43:10,466 They're just beautiful. 619 00:43:10,534 --> 00:43:12,468 I didn't want to be too showy. 620 00:43:12,536 --> 00:43:16,563 Oh, well, yours are very tasteful. Thank you, Charlie. 621 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,972 - Thank you. - I have to get dressed. 622 00:43:19,042 --> 00:43:22,034 Why don't you talk to Ma? Ma'll keep you company. Excuse me. 623 00:43:22,112 --> 00:43:26,105 - Okay. - I want you to behave yourself, Charlie. 624 00:43:26,183 --> 00:43:30,279 You see, I saw the way you were starin' at my daughter's... chest. 625 00:43:30,353 --> 00:43:33,516 - Oh, I used to be a cardiologist. - Really? 626 00:43:33,590 --> 00:43:36,115 So I'm almost ready. 627 00:43:36,193 --> 00:43:38,491 Charlie, would you like to walk with me? 628 00:43:38,562 --> 00:43:41,554 - I'd be delighted. - Oh, thank you. 629 00:43:43,066 --> 00:43:45,933 - Ma, we'll see you later. - Have fun. 630 00:43:46,002 --> 00:43:49,403 I'll try to find a shot glass for those flowers. 631 00:43:49,473 --> 00:43:53,375 - She's darling, isn't she? - That's Ma. 632 00:43:53,443 --> 00:43:55,377 - Oh, there you are. - Hello. 633 00:43:55,445 --> 00:43:58,278 We really must hurry. The bus is leaving in 10 minutes. 634 00:43:58,348 --> 00:44:00,282 - Hello there, sport. - Hello. 635 00:44:00,350 --> 00:44:04,719 - Why don't you come with us? - I've been told that the tour is full. 636 00:44:07,057 --> 00:44:09,719 Oh, about those flowers... thank you so much. 637 00:44:09,793 --> 00:44:11,886 They're beautiful. I love them. See you later? 638 00:44:11,962 --> 00:44:13,953 - Have a good day, Gordo. - Ta-ta. 639 00:44:14,030 --> 00:44:16,692 There's something about that man I really don't like. 640 00:44:16,766 --> 00:44:20,550 - Don't you agree? - That you don't like him? I'd agree with that. 641 00:44:27,223 --> 00:44:29,885 Ha-ha! 642 00:44:32,662 --> 00:44:36,792 They call this dancing? I did this in line at the A&P. 643 00:44:36,866 --> 00:44:39,300 Well, the view is right. 644 00:44:39,369 --> 00:44:43,305 - I used to have an ass like that. - Guys, pay attention. 645 00:44:44,741 --> 00:44:47,073 Would you mind standing back, please? 646 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:50,169 Let me show you how this is done, okay? 647 00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:09,628 Ship-to-shore call for Mr. Cullen Carswell. 648 00:45:09,699 --> 00:45:12,293 That's you! That sounds excitin'. 649 00:45:12,368 --> 00:45:14,529 I'm sorry, Liz. I'll try to wrap it up quickly. 650 00:45:14,604 --> 00:45:17,630 - Why don't I just go ahead and I'll save you a seat? - All right. 651 00:45:17,707 --> 00:45:19,971 - Ship-to-shore for Carswell. - Oh, yes, sir. 652 00:45:20,043 --> 00:45:22,807 It's an overseas call from Mr. Donald Trump. 653 00:45:22,879 --> 00:45:24,870 He's calling from Zurich. Says it's urgent. 654 00:45:24,948 --> 00:45:26,939 Is there a telephone handy with some privacy? 655 00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:29,314 You can take it in the second booth there on your right. 656 00:45:29,385 --> 00:45:31,376 Thank you. 657 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,295 Hello. This is Cullen Carswell. I'll take my call now. 658 00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:42,957 - One moment, sir. - Hello. 659 00:45:43,032 --> 00:45:47,366 Hello, Mr. Carswell. Hello. - Who is this? 660 00:45:47,437 --> 00:45:50,895 This is the international operator. 661 00:45:50,974 --> 00:45:54,341 I have momentarily lost your congestion. 662 00:45:54,410 --> 00:45:57,004 Please hold for Mr. Trump. 663 00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,413 Yes, I'll hold, but please hurry. 664 00:46:00,483 --> 00:46:03,748 - Are you holding, sir? - Yes, yes, I'm holding. 665 00:46:04,921 --> 00:46:07,389 Is this Mr. Car-smell? 666 00:46:07,457 --> 00:46:09,391 Carswell! Yes. 667 00:46:09,459 --> 00:46:13,020 Please hold. Don't go away. 668 00:46:40,223 --> 00:46:42,953 All passengers traveling to the festival... 669 00:46:43,026 --> 00:46:46,962 must board the fiesta bus at wharf 10 for immediate departure. 670 00:46:47,030 --> 00:46:48,998 - This is the last call. - Hey! 671 00:46:49,065 --> 00:46:52,899 I figured I'd see if there were any no-shows. Where's your friend? 672 00:46:55,071 --> 00:46:57,767 You just don't give up, do you? 673 00:47:02,645 --> 00:47:04,613 Mmm. 674 00:47:04,681 --> 00:47:07,445 Oh, look at those.! 675 00:47:07,517 --> 00:47:10,975 - Don't you just love horses, Charlie? - Only when they win. 676 00:47:13,323 --> 00:47:16,087 - You've never done any real gambling, have you? - For how much? 677 00:47:16,159 --> 00:47:20,960 I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about life gambling. 678 00:47:21,030 --> 00:47:23,021 You've never been married, have you? 679 00:47:23,099 --> 00:47:27,365 - In what sense? - I knew it. I knew it. 680 00:47:27,437 --> 00:47:29,837 I'm waiting for my sexual prime. 681 00:47:29,906 --> 00:47:32,898 Just when do you think that's gonna happen? 682 00:47:34,377 --> 00:47:37,244 In about five minutes. 683 00:47:37,313 --> 00:47:40,305 That's it. Get the hips going. 684 00:47:40,383 --> 00:47:43,443 Get that Cuban motion going. 685 00:47:43,519 --> 00:47:47,649 Ladies under. Very nice. Good. Come back around. 686 00:47:47,724 --> 00:47:50,716 - Mom, give me a break. - Shelly, give me a break. 687 00:47:50,793 --> 00:47:52,886 I danced with the man one time. 688 00:47:52,962 --> 00:47:56,625 - And you were glowing like Miss Arkansas. - So I had fun. 689 00:47:56,699 --> 00:47:58,633 Herb's a wonderful dancer. 690 00:47:58,701 --> 00:48:02,000 But he's a doctor, and you know I hate doctors. 691 00:48:02,071 --> 00:48:04,164 Now, moving to the side. Hips going. 692 00:48:04,240 --> 00:48:06,401 - There's a class. Let's go join the class. - Oh, I... 693 00:48:06,476 --> 00:48:08,410 - It'll be fun. - Well... 694 00:48:08,478 --> 00:48:11,743 - You love dancing! - Under-arm turn, gentlemen. 695 00:48:11,814 --> 00:48:14,510 - All right. - Let the ladies under. 696 00:48:14,584 --> 00:48:17,451 - That's it. - Oh, you guys are getting so good.! 697 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,454 Your turn, madame. 698 00:48:19,522 --> 00:48:21,513 Oh! 699 00:48:21,591 --> 00:48:25,220 Excellent! Now, try everything that we practiced today. 700 00:48:25,294 --> 00:48:28,730 Okay. Goodjob, everybody. 701 00:48:30,199 --> 00:48:33,396 How 'bout a wonderful hand for our dancers? 702 00:49:01,731 --> 00:49:05,098 It says that it's a festival, a sacrifice to purge themselves... 703 00:49:05,168 --> 00:49:07,295 of all sins and evil before the eclipse. 704 00:49:07,370 --> 00:49:09,600 I'm so excited. I've never seen an eclipse before. 705 00:49:09,672 --> 00:49:11,606 - Is that right? - Never seen one. 706 00:49:11,674 --> 00:49:13,608 - I seen one once. - Really? 707 00:49:13,676 --> 00:49:16,839 But I think the moon got in the way. 708 00:49:18,815 --> 00:49:20,840 Yes! 709 00:49:20,917 --> 00:49:23,750 Oh. Here we go. Here we go. 710 00:49:36,466 --> 00:49:39,526 Look how happy they are that we're here! 711 00:49:41,537 --> 00:49:43,528 La, la-la, la-la 712 00:49:46,375 --> 00:49:48,775 What are you doin'? 713 00:49:48,845 --> 00:49:52,406 Oh, I... I'm looking at this for a possible suit. 714 00:49:56,786 --> 00:49:58,481 Oh! 715 00:49:58,554 --> 00:50:01,387 Charlie, what are you doing? I want to stay here and dance with my friends. 716 00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:03,391 - Come with me. - La-la, la-la 717 00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:05,393 Come with me, con permiso. 718 00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:08,726 La-la, la-la 719 00:50:08,798 --> 00:50:11,631 - Watch out! - You stay here. I'll be right back. 720 00:50:11,701 --> 00:50:14,226 - I gotta see a man about a dog. - Take your time. 721 00:50:14,303 --> 00:50:16,237 La-la, la-la 722 00:50:18,908 --> 00:50:21,342 Mucho viejo. Gracias. 723 00:50:21,410 --> 00:50:24,402 Gil, I've been talking to the board... 724 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,745 about hiring a vice president of entertainment. 725 00:50:27,817 --> 00:50:29,751 Interesting. 726 00:50:29,819 --> 00:50:32,879 Listen, is there a way out of here besides the door? 727 00:50:32,955 --> 00:50:36,254 Oh, yes. S�, s�, s�. Down the drain. 728 00:50:36,325 --> 00:50:38,259 Ah, ha-ha-ha-ha. 729 00:50:38,327 --> 00:50:42,286 Very funny, pal. Very funny. 730 00:50:47,904 --> 00:50:52,170 Listen, pal, I need to borrow your mask for a few minutes. 731 00:50:52,241 --> 00:50:54,971 - Get lost, pops. - Wait. I'll let you have this. 732 00:50:55,044 --> 00:50:57,774 It's a genuine Rolex. 733 00:50:59,282 --> 00:51:01,409 Please, mister. 734 00:51:01,484 --> 00:51:04,510 This ain't a Rolex. It says "Romex. " 735 00:51:04,587 --> 00:51:07,579 What, you're gonna make a federal case out of one lousy letter? 736 00:51:07,657 --> 00:51:10,217 They don't make Romexes anymore. 737 00:51:10,293 --> 00:51:12,158 - This is a collector's item. - Beat it. 738 00:51:12,228 --> 00:51:16,358 Oh, don't be ridiculous. I haven't had a chimichanga in years. 739 00:51:16,432 --> 00:51:19,731 Would you mind... Would you pardon me for just one moment? 740 00:51:19,802 --> 00:51:22,566 - What? - Eh, nature, you know. 741 00:51:22,638 --> 00:51:24,731 - Sorry. - Oh. 742 00:51:24,807 --> 00:51:27,469 Perd�name. Perd�name. 743 00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:31,737 - You... - Do you want to buy a Rolex? 744 00:51:31,814 --> 00:51:35,807 Comin' through. �Qu� pasa, se�or? 745 00:51:35,885 --> 00:51:38,149 What's goin' on here? 746 00:51:38,221 --> 00:51:40,416 Parrot coming through. 747 00:51:40,489 --> 00:51:42,821 Parrot here. Parrot. 748 00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:45,656 Con permiso. Con permiso. 749 00:51:49,298 --> 00:51:51,732 Gil! Whoo-hoo! 750 00:51:55,338 --> 00:51:59,069 Ah.! Leave her alone for five seconds. 751 00:52:00,376 --> 00:52:03,174 I'm gettin' a little dizzy in here with all this... 752 00:52:03,246 --> 00:52:06,044 Let me outta here.! 753 00:52:06,115 --> 00:52:08,709 Are you people insane? Oh, no.! 754 00:52:11,687 --> 00:52:14,554 What do you do with the bull? 755 00:52:14,624 --> 00:52:17,923 Holy "shaxamahnee'! 756 00:52:17,994 --> 00:52:19,859 Oh, my God! I'm the parrot! 757 00:52:21,764 --> 00:52:25,564 I see trouble! 758 00:52:27,603 --> 00:52:30,231 Hey, se�or. Hey, pal. 759 00:52:32,308 --> 00:52:34,868 Gil.! Wait.! 760 00:52:41,083 --> 00:52:44,951 All right, mister. I've got you! 761 00:52:45,021 --> 00:52:47,717 Oh, sorry. I thought you were... 762 00:52:47,790 --> 00:52:50,418 Oh, my God! 763 00:52:50,493 --> 00:52:52,427 - Charlie. - Let's go. 764 00:52:52,495 --> 00:52:55,293 - Why are we going now? - Now is the time to loot the shops. 765 00:52:55,364 --> 00:52:58,891 - We are witnessing history here. - I've seen history. It stinks. 766 00:52:58,968 --> 00:53:01,960 No, stop! There's a fire there! Can't you see? 767 00:53:02,038 --> 00:53:04,268 My head's on fire! 768 00:53:04,340 --> 00:53:07,987 Help me! Stop this cow instantly! 769 00:53:16,362 --> 00:53:19,092 Well, hello. 770 00:53:19,165 --> 00:53:22,896 Stuff works wonders for groin pain. Cheers to you all. 771 00:53:22,968 --> 00:53:26,927 - I've dug all over Guatemala and all over Honduras. - Really? 772 00:53:27,006 --> 00:53:30,339 It-It's just... The whole culture is so interesting... 773 00:53:30,409 --> 00:53:33,640 - so fascinating and... - Oh, uh, Vivian. 774 00:53:33,712 --> 00:53:36,772 - Herb. What a lovely surprise. - I know what you're thinking. 775 00:53:36,849 --> 00:53:39,409 - This is my new friend, Sebastian. - Hello. 776 00:53:39,485 --> 00:53:43,387 He just gave a brilliant lecture on the significance of the solar eclipse in Mayan mythology. 777 00:53:43,455 --> 00:53:45,355 - What? - Mayan mythology will tell you... 778 00:53:45,424 --> 00:53:48,018 that an eclipse isn't really an eclipse at all... 779 00:53:48,093 --> 00:53:53,030 but rather a birth... or an unveiling, if you will... of a new sun... 780 00:53:53,098 --> 00:53:55,794 - or a new life... - Fascinating. Herb is a doctor. 781 00:53:55,868 --> 00:53:58,359 - Oh? - And apparently a dance host on the side. 782 00:53:58,437 --> 00:54:01,304 - I tried to explain this to you. - Explain what? 783 00:54:01,373 --> 00:54:04,035 I think you did your job very well. 784 00:54:06,278 --> 00:54:08,269 - Who is he? - I don't know. 785 00:54:08,347 --> 00:54:11,282 - I've seen him somewhere. He looks familiar. - Not to me. 786 00:54:11,350 --> 00:54:15,252 - My husband was in the oil business with my dad. - Ah. 787 00:54:15,321 --> 00:54:17,881 If Daddy trusted him, I figured I could trust him too. 788 00:54:17,957 --> 00:54:20,926 - So, what happened? - Well, as it turned out... 789 00:54:20,993 --> 00:54:24,895 there were a lot of test wells he was drillin' on the side. 790 00:54:24,964 --> 00:54:27,797 - You should've had him neutered. - Oh, I did. 791 00:54:27,867 --> 00:54:31,166 - Except I used an attorney instead of a doctor. 792 00:54:32,638 --> 00:54:34,936 For lending a helping hand. Thank you, chappies. 793 00:54:35,007 --> 00:54:37,237 Thank you so very much. 794 00:54:37,309 --> 00:54:39,800 Oh! What's the matter? 795 00:54:39,879 --> 00:54:42,439 - Are you all right? - Old football injury. 796 00:54:42,514 --> 00:54:45,415 - College? - No. Professional. 797 00:54:45,484 --> 00:54:48,078 TheJets blew a 30-point lead against the Dolphins... 798 00:54:48,153 --> 00:54:51,316 - and I tried to throw my TV set out the window. 799 00:54:51,390 --> 00:54:53,415 You're in pain. I'll get help. 800 00:54:53,492 --> 00:54:56,893 No! Wait, wait! 801 00:54:56,962 --> 00:55:00,955 - What are you doing? - I wanna hear more about your ex-husband. 802 00:55:01,033 --> 00:55:04,491 You... What? How can... 803 00:55:04,570 --> 00:55:06,561 - What seems to be the trouble? - Oh! 804 00:55:06,639 --> 00:55:09,938 - His back went out, and I think he needs some help. 805 00:55:10,009 --> 00:55:13,467 - Aw. Would you help me get him on the deck chair? - Of course. 806 00:55:13,545 --> 00:55:17,709 - God bless you, sir, whosoever you may be. - Oh, careful. Oh! 807 00:55:17,783 --> 00:55:19,614 If you go in this direction... 808 00:55:19,685 --> 00:55:22,882 Oh.! What are you doin'? 809 00:55:22,955 --> 00:55:25,116 I have to get the wind from the east. 810 00:55:25,190 --> 00:55:27,454 - He has to get the wind from the east. 811 00:55:27,526 --> 00:55:31,622 Now, fortunately, I'm a retired doctor. Aren't we lucky? 812 00:55:31,697 --> 00:55:33,892 Huh? 813 00:55:33,966 --> 00:55:36,298 - And chiropractics is my specialty. - It's lucky for me. 814 00:55:36,368 --> 00:55:38,802 - Are you his wife? - Oh, no. I'm just his friend. 815 00:55:38,871 --> 00:55:41,169 She's just a friend. You tell me where the pain is. 816 00:55:41,240 --> 00:55:44,641 - It's okay. It's better now. - Well, I think we may need a little adjustment. 817 00:55:44,710 --> 00:55:47,679 - I don't need... An adjustment! 818 00:55:47,746 --> 00:55:51,409 - Uh-huh! A problem in the lumbar region. 819 00:55:51,483 --> 00:55:53,474 No. My "lumber" is all right. 820 00:55:53,552 --> 00:55:56,419 Don't worry about... 821 00:56:00,926 --> 00:56:03,360 Can you feel anything? 822 00:56:05,931 --> 00:56:08,661 Uh, what are you... 823 00:56:08,734 --> 00:56:11,225 Ah! That should relieve some tension. 824 00:56:11,303 --> 00:56:15,239 - Uh, what the hell are you doin'? - Now, just breathe normally. 825 00:56:15,307 --> 00:56:18,071 Go on. 826 00:56:18,143 --> 00:56:20,077 I haven't done anything yet. Uh! 827 00:56:24,116 --> 00:56:27,552 - Do you feel better, my friend? - I'm gonna get you. 828 00:56:27,619 --> 00:56:29,610 What? A present? Oh, don't be silly. 829 00:56:29,688 --> 00:56:34,523 Just to lighten the suffering of my fellow human beings is reward enough for me. 830 00:56:37,162 --> 00:56:39,722 - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. 831 00:56:39,798 --> 00:56:42,858 Why don't you go. I'll just rest up here a little while. 832 00:56:42,935 --> 00:56:45,233 Oh, I-I just can't leave you like this. 833 00:56:45,304 --> 00:56:47,602 - Sure, you can. - Are you sure? 834 00:56:47,673 --> 00:56:51,131 - Yeah. You go on. - Actually, I was gonna meet some friends in the casino. 835 00:56:51,210 --> 00:56:54,179 Besides, I like lying here on the couch. 836 00:56:54,246 --> 00:56:56,407 It's the puppy dog in me. 837 00:56:56,482 --> 00:56:58,609 All right. I'll see you later. 838 00:56:58,684 --> 00:57:00,675 See you later. 839 00:57:00,753 --> 00:57:03,950 - All right. - Bye. 840 00:57:06,258 --> 00:57:08,317 "Must be the puppy dog in me. " 841 00:57:08,394 --> 00:57:10,385 You are in over your head, kid. 842 00:57:10,462 --> 00:57:14,159 - What is that supposed to mean? - I saw the way you looked at her. 843 00:57:14,233 --> 00:57:17,828 She's a beautiful woman with a lot of money. How do you want me to look at her? 844 00:57:17,903 --> 00:57:21,930 - I think you care about her. - Give me a break, will ya? 845 00:57:24,410 --> 00:57:27,277 Oh, boy. I'm gonna sue you for malpractice. 846 00:57:27,346 --> 00:57:29,337 I saved your ass is what I did. 847 00:57:31,950 --> 00:57:33,941 Ah. 848 00:57:34,019 --> 00:57:36,613 Gil, baby. I was wondering... 849 00:57:36,688 --> 00:57:38,952 Oh, shut up. 850 00:57:39,024 --> 00:57:41,254 Tonight, you will dance every dance. 851 00:57:41,326 --> 00:57:44,921 You will be charming, attentive, light of foot. 852 00:57:44,997 --> 00:57:47,488 - And I will be watching. - Yes, sir! 853 00:57:48,834 --> 00:57:51,325 Have Dr. Johanson look at that eye, Sullivan. 854 00:57:53,405 --> 00:57:56,636 Jesus, Herbie, we've been pals for such a long time. 855 00:57:56,708 --> 00:57:58,835 Give me a break, will ya? 856 00:57:58,911 --> 00:58:03,143 - The answer is no. - If I don't dance, they'll throw me off the ship. 857 00:58:03,215 --> 00:58:05,809 I'll teach you how to swim. I won't teach you how to dance. 858 00:58:05,884 --> 00:58:07,875 Herbie, please! Please, I beg you. 859 00:58:07,953 --> 00:58:10,649 - Open up your heart. - Will you knock it off? 860 00:58:10,722 --> 00:58:14,954 - Open your heart to a sad, frightened old man. 861 00:58:15,027 --> 00:58:19,828 Slow, slow. Quick-quick. 862 00:58:19,898 --> 00:58:23,334 Slow, slow. Quick-quick. 863 00:58:23,402 --> 00:58:26,633 There you go. Slow... 864 00:58:26,705 --> 00:58:30,641 Whatever happened to slow, slow, quick-quick? 865 00:58:30,709 --> 00:58:32,700 You're-You're very much like a crane. 866 00:58:32,778 --> 00:58:36,475 Slow, slow. Quick-quick. 867 00:58:36,548 --> 00:58:38,539 Do it. 868 00:58:40,219 --> 00:58:44,622 Slow, slow. Quick... Oh, God. 869 00:58:44,690 --> 00:58:47,318 Try it. Left, right. 870 00:58:49,061 --> 00:58:51,154 Together. 871 00:58:51,230 --> 00:58:53,323 Aha. Bingo. 872 00:58:53,398 --> 00:58:55,958 Left. 873 00:58:56,034 --> 00:58:58,400 Right. Together. 874 00:58:59,638 --> 00:59:01,629 Very strange. 875 00:59:01,707 --> 00:59:04,039 Okay. This is the grapevine. 876 00:59:04,109 --> 00:59:06,577 Cross, behind, together. 877 00:59:06,645 --> 00:59:11,275 Slow, slow. Quick-quick. 878 00:59:11,350 --> 00:59:13,443 One, two, three, cha-cha. 879 00:59:13,519 --> 00:59:15,680 One, two, three, cha-cha. 880 00:59:15,754 --> 00:59:19,588 One, two, three, cha-cha. One, two, three, cha-cha. 881 00:59:19,658 --> 00:59:22,821 One, two, three, cha-cha. One... 882 00:59:22,895 --> 00:59:25,693 Okay, now wait a minute. Let's try... 883 00:59:25,764 --> 00:59:29,495 One, two, three, cha-cha. One, two, three, cha-cha. 884 00:59:29,568 --> 00:59:33,004 One, two... Uh, that's very... 885 00:59:33,071 --> 00:59:35,471 What the hell is that? 886 00:59:35,541 --> 00:59:38,203 Guys do this all the time on the streets... 887 00:59:38,277 --> 00:59:40,211 and-and people throw money at them. 888 00:59:40,279 --> 00:59:42,474 You're not gettin' a nickel outta me. 889 00:59:47,486 --> 00:59:49,613 Wait a minute. This is wrong. 890 00:59:49,688 --> 00:59:53,124 - You're leading. - I'm supposed to lead. I'm a man. 891 00:59:53,192 --> 00:59:56,320 - Kiss me. - All right. You lead. 892 01:00:41,273 --> 01:00:44,265 And on the CD... 893 01:00:49,281 --> 01:00:53,342 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 894 01:00:53,418 --> 01:00:56,478 - Uh, see, he's, uh... I'm-I'm... - It's my first time. 895 01:00:56,555 --> 01:00:59,490 - Oh. - Dancing, that is, see. 896 01:00:59,558 --> 01:01:02,322 Yeah. We're just friends. Good pals, buddies. 897 01:01:03,528 --> 01:01:06,793 - Oh. Yes, of course. - Don't ask, don't tell. 898 01:01:06,865 --> 01:01:09,129 Yeah. 899 01:01:20,379 --> 01:01:22,973 - Is that a waiter's jacket? - How can you tell? 900 01:01:23,048 --> 01:01:25,039 You got stains all over the sleeve. 901 01:01:25,117 --> 01:01:28,416 You got parsley down your back. Fits like a pup tent. 902 01:01:28,487 --> 01:01:31,081 - Are you kidding... - Ah! Good evening, gentlemen. 903 01:01:31,156 --> 01:01:35,217 Time to face the music, eh, Charlie? 904 01:01:35,294 --> 01:01:39,287 Hey, let-let's face. 905 01:01:41,466 --> 01:01:44,833 Once again, your host... 906 01:01:44,903 --> 01:01:50,671 the very talented Mr. Gil Godwyn.! 907 01:01:50,742 --> 01:01:52,539 Ladies and gentlemen... 908 01:01:52,611 --> 01:01:55,774 here we are, under the stars... 909 01:01:55,847 --> 01:01:59,442 in the moonlight, out on the open sea. 910 01:01:59,518 --> 01:02:04,080 Let's get ready... to rhum-ba. 911 01:02:04,156 --> 01:02:07,455 Ooh. We're going to rhum-ba. 912 01:02:09,761 --> 01:02:11,695 He's demented. 913 01:02:32,517 --> 01:02:34,747 You're on, champ. 914 01:02:40,726 --> 01:02:43,559 Care to dance, madam? 915 01:02:43,628 --> 01:02:45,892 Oh, yes. Yes, I'd love to. 916 01:02:52,504 --> 01:02:54,802 Don't slouch. 917 01:02:56,074 --> 01:02:58,702 Have you been hosting for long? 918 01:02:58,777 --> 01:03:02,304 This is my 23rd run, ma'am. 919 01:03:02,381 --> 01:03:05,509 I started out giving ballroom exhibition. 920 01:03:14,426 --> 01:03:16,621 Shorten your steps. 921 01:03:24,236 --> 01:03:27,433 You're doing very well, madam, but don't rush it. 922 01:03:27,506 --> 01:03:32,000 - You see, the rhumba is more of a walk than a dance. - Ouch. Oh. 923 01:03:33,211 --> 01:03:35,679 - Oh, shit! - Beg-Beg your pardon? 924 01:03:35,747 --> 01:03:38,716 Oh. Uh, hit. This song was a big hit. 925 01:03:40,886 --> 01:03:45,323 - Oh, what... What does that have to do with the rhumba? - Absolutely nothing. 926 01:03:53,465 --> 01:03:55,456 - Look out. - You said it was a walk. 927 01:03:55,534 --> 01:03:57,525 It's a fast walk. 928 01:04:01,239 --> 01:04:03,332 Ow! 929 01:04:09,648 --> 01:04:11,081 Oh, God. 930 01:04:18,557 --> 01:04:22,425 Oh! What... What do you call this step? 931 01:04:22,494 --> 01:04:24,928 - This is the Brazilian creep. - Oh. 932 01:04:24,996 --> 01:04:27,260 - In Brazil, of course, it's just called "the creep. " - Oh. 933 01:04:33,271 --> 01:04:35,262 Oh. 934 01:04:41,313 --> 01:04:43,247 Oh, oh, oh! 935 01:04:49,488 --> 01:04:51,649 Oh. Whoa. 936 01:05:07,772 --> 01:05:13,267 Oh! Oh! 937 01:05:31,396 --> 01:05:33,330 - Uh! Oh! I'm so sorry. - Ow. 938 01:05:33,398 --> 01:05:35,559 - No. It's our fault. - Sorry. 939 01:05:38,970 --> 01:05:41,734 Ooh, ooh, ooh! 940 01:06:03,728 --> 01:06:05,923 Excuse me. 941 01:06:07,232 --> 01:06:09,132 Thank you. 942 01:06:14,005 --> 01:06:17,463 Do you have any idea whom you've just assaulted on the dance floor? 943 01:06:17,542 --> 01:06:19,737 Oh, Miss Carruthers, I don't know what... 944 01:06:19,811 --> 01:06:22,609 I feel... ravaged. 945 01:06:22,681 --> 01:06:25,650 Thank you. I'm Ellen Carruthers. 946 01:06:25,717 --> 01:06:28,709 Oh. You're the dame that owns this little boat. 947 01:06:31,289 --> 01:06:34,349 Excuse me. Uh, duty calls. 948 01:06:34,426 --> 01:06:36,894 Can I get you anything, miss? 949 01:06:39,898 --> 01:06:44,561 All over Honduras. You wouldn't believe what happened. There were 40,000 people... 950 01:06:44,636 --> 01:06:49,232 So. It's the broad that stole our airplane seats. 951 01:06:49,307 --> 01:06:53,004 - That broad happens to have been an editor at Doubleday. - Who cares? 952 01:06:53,078 --> 01:06:55,308 All I was was a clerk at Gimbel's. 953 01:06:55,380 --> 01:06:57,678 And Secretariat was just a horse. 954 01:06:57,749 --> 01:07:00,411 - Go on. Ask her to dance. - Aw, it's too late, Charlie. 955 01:07:02,354 --> 01:07:06,347 There's no such thing as "too late. " That's why they invented death. 956 01:07:06,424 --> 01:07:08,415 Dance! 957 01:07:14,966 --> 01:07:17,366 By the Inquisition, they were burned. 958 01:07:17,435 --> 01:07:22,304 So now, some people argue, that they invented the ladle. 959 01:07:22,374 --> 01:07:25,673 But the ancient drawings indicate that the Mayans were using... 960 01:07:25,744 --> 01:07:29,771 - a large perforated scooping utensil. - Excuse me. 961 01:07:29,848 --> 01:07:32,214 Um, I'm gonna go drop the anchor on my toe. 962 01:07:32,283 --> 01:07:34,376 - I'll go with you. - You're leaving? 963 01:07:34,452 --> 01:07:38,752 Anyway, what is really important is that when I shone the light in the cave... 964 01:07:38,823 --> 01:07:40,950 there it was on the wall... the ladle. 965 01:07:41,026 --> 01:07:43,256 - Vivian? - Which proved beyond a reasonable doubt... Huh? 966 01:07:43,328 --> 01:07:48,391 Excuse me. L-I would really be very honored if you would care to join me. 967 01:07:48,466 --> 01:07:51,526 I've already danced this dance. 968 01:07:51,603 --> 01:07:55,130 Yes, well, I-I- I was hoping you might want to try it again. 969 01:07:55,206 --> 01:07:58,642 You know, a, uh, an archaeologist in Reykjav�k... 970 01:07:58,710 --> 01:08:02,806 - claims that the Incas actually did a form of the hustle. - What? 971 01:08:02,881 --> 01:08:05,975 - You-You never heard of that? I mean, it was a... - You win. 972 01:08:07,519 --> 01:08:09,510 Excuse us. 973 01:08:17,395 --> 01:08:19,522 You dance much better than you lie. 974 01:08:19,597 --> 01:08:23,363 Well, uh, lying is new to me. I've been dancing most of my life. 975 01:08:23,435 --> 01:08:26,632 Hmm. Did you start dancing before or after medical school? 976 01:08:26,705 --> 01:08:28,696 Oh, you're a funny lady. 977 01:08:28,773 --> 01:08:31,003 I'm also a very serious lady... 978 01:08:31,076 --> 01:08:33,067 especially when I'm lied to. 979 01:08:33,144 --> 01:08:35,908 Hey, I didn't lie to you. My friend did. 980 01:08:35,980 --> 01:08:38,414 Well, you could've told me the truth. 981 01:08:38,483 --> 01:08:41,247 - Well, maybe I was afraid. - Afraid of what? 982 01:08:41,319 --> 01:08:45,085 Well, that you would, uh, laugh or be disappointed. 983 01:08:45,156 --> 01:08:47,147 - About what? - Aw, hell, I don't know. 984 01:08:47,225 --> 01:08:50,217 - Well, tell me now. - Tell you what? 985 01:08:50,295 --> 01:08:52,786 - Try the truth. - Well, the truth is... 986 01:08:52,864 --> 01:08:55,890 I was just a clerk at Gimbel's for 35 years... 987 01:08:55,967 --> 01:08:58,162 till they damn well went out of business. 988 01:08:58,236 --> 01:09:00,704 And I got roped into this stupid dance-host thing... 989 01:09:00,772 --> 01:09:03,297 by that lunatic there, over there. 990 01:09:07,011 --> 01:09:08,876 Just... 991 01:09:13,718 --> 01:09:15,860 What happened? 992 01:09:15,994 --> 01:09:19,521 - Wait a second. - Why? So I can make a fool of myself again? 993 01:09:31,442 --> 01:09:34,377 I didn't think I'd ever kiss anybody that way again. 994 01:09:34,445 --> 01:09:36,470 Neither did I. 995 01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:40,476 - I need to step outside. - We are outside. 996 01:09:40,551 --> 01:09:42,712 I knew that. 997 01:09:50,128 --> 01:09:52,187 But won't... won't you get in trouble... 998 01:09:52,263 --> 01:09:54,254 I mean, if someone should see us like this? 999 01:09:54,332 --> 01:09:57,165 - Oh, well, they could throw me overboard. - I'd miss you. 1000 01:09:57,235 --> 01:09:59,430 Yeah? 1001 01:09:59,504 --> 01:10:03,372 Why don't we watch the, uh, eclipse together tomorrow? 1002 01:10:03,441 --> 01:10:07,775 - All right. - Yeah. We could go in separate buses to Chich�n Itz�... 1003 01:10:07,845 --> 01:10:09,836 and meet at a caf�. 1004 01:10:09,914 --> 01:10:13,441 - What caf�? - Well, it's a town. There must be a caf�. 1005 01:10:13,518 --> 01:10:16,316 I'll find it, and... and you'll find me. 1006 01:10:16,387 --> 01:10:20,483 Oh. 1007 01:10:20,558 --> 01:10:24,585 - It's been my pleasure, ma'am. - Oh, thank you very much. 1008 01:10:24,662 --> 01:10:28,098 Hey, Gil, I loved the number. 1009 01:10:28,166 --> 01:10:30,157 Oh. Thank you. 1010 01:10:32,236 --> 01:10:34,363 There are almost a dozen in the fleet now. 1011 01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,999 This is the baby, my little jewel. 1012 01:10:37,075 --> 01:10:39,202 - Madam? - Well, hello there. 1013 01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:42,769 Oh, how do you do? Mr. Godwyn asked me to give you this. 1014 01:10:42,847 --> 01:10:45,941 Oh, thank you. 1015 01:10:55,626 --> 01:10:58,789 Would you excuse me, please? 1016 01:10:58,863 --> 01:11:01,024 - How charming you look tonight. - Thanks. 1017 01:11:01,099 --> 01:11:05,229 - Oh, Mr. Godwyn. - Why aren't you dancing? 1018 01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:10,070 Because Mrs. Carruthers... asked me to give you a message. 1019 01:11:10,141 --> 01:11:12,132 - Really. - Yes. I have a feeling, sir... 1020 01:11:12,210 --> 01:11:14,974 that you're gonna get that promotion you've been looking for. 1021 01:11:15,046 --> 01:11:17,037 Did... Did she say that? 1022 01:11:17,115 --> 01:11:20,380 She said she wants you in her room... 1023 01:11:20,451 --> 01:11:23,477 A.S.P.C. A... A.S.A.P. 1024 01:11:23,554 --> 01:11:25,852 Her room? Now? 1025 01:11:27,258 --> 01:11:30,716 Her exact words were... 1026 01:11:31,963 --> 01:11:35,194 Well, I don't remember them off-hand, but, uh... 1027 01:11:35,266 --> 01:11:37,894 - Come on, man. - Uh, "If not sooner. " 1028 01:11:40,872 --> 01:11:43,033 - Get on that dance floor. - Yes, sir. 1029 01:11:46,511 --> 01:11:48,536 - Hi there. - Yes? 1030 01:11:48,613 --> 01:11:51,241 Gotta deliver Godwyn's shirts to his room. 1031 01:11:51,315 --> 01:11:53,510 - Oh, you need the key. - Yeah. I'm not gonna slip them under the door. 1032 01:11:53,584 --> 01:11:55,575 They'll get wrinkled. 1033 01:11:57,989 --> 01:12:00,014 Hello, hello, hello. 1034 01:12:00,091 --> 01:12:03,219 Oh, hello. You sure made a fast recovery, didn't you? 1035 01:12:03,294 --> 01:12:05,285 Nothing like being young. 1036 01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:11,100 Why do you look at me as though I were nothing but trouble? 1037 01:12:11,169 --> 01:12:14,229 - I like trouble. - I like you too. 1038 01:12:14,305 --> 01:12:16,603 - How about a game of poker? - Poker, okay. 1039 01:12:16,674 --> 01:12:21,976 But I gotta warn you, Carswell. This time, I'm not tearing up any of your checks. 1040 01:12:24,115 --> 01:12:26,743 Domo. 1041 01:12:26,817 --> 01:12:30,947 I think you're a phony, chum, and I'm going to prove it. 1042 01:12:31,022 --> 01:12:35,959 - Oh, boy. - Nice to see you're relaxing tonight, Carswell. 1043 01:12:52,310 --> 01:12:55,973 - I beg your pardon? - Take a hike. Hi. 1044 01:12:56,047 --> 01:12:58,607 To what do I owe this pleasure? 1045 01:12:58,683 --> 01:13:02,278 - Two vodka stingers, and I lost my key. - Oh. 1046 01:13:02,353 --> 01:13:06,790 - How about you? - I work here. 1047 01:13:07,892 --> 01:13:09,883 You do? 1048 01:13:09,961 --> 01:13:12,930 Uh, do you do... C.P.R.? 1049 01:13:14,632 --> 01:13:17,100 How does it go? 1050 01:13:48,065 --> 01:13:50,533 It's open. 1051 01:13:52,036 --> 01:13:55,528 Mrs. Carruthers? 1052 01:13:58,943 --> 01:14:01,639 Ellen. Bit of bubbly? 1053 01:14:02,780 --> 01:14:06,113 Ace, queen bets. 1054 01:14:06,183 --> 01:14:08,174 I will check. 1055 01:14:09,854 --> 01:14:11,913 Check, check. 1056 01:14:11,989 --> 01:14:14,355 I check. 1057 01:14:15,359 --> 01:14:18,089 Two, please. 1058 01:14:18,162 --> 01:14:23,156 - I bet 20 grand. - I'll take one. 1059 01:14:23,234 --> 01:14:28,069 - Hmm. - Too rich for my blood. 1060 01:14:28,139 --> 01:14:30,869 I fold. 1061 01:14:31,942 --> 01:14:34,740 - Hmm. - How much you bet? 1062 01:14:34,812 --> 01:14:37,713 - Twenty thousand dollars. - Twenty thousand dollars. 1063 01:14:37,782 --> 01:14:40,717 Right. 1064 01:14:40,785 --> 01:14:44,687 Oopsy doopsy woopsy. Call. 1065 01:14:48,759 --> 01:14:50,727 I'm out. 1066 01:14:50,795 --> 01:14:52,786 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - You all right? 1067 01:14:52,863 --> 01:14:56,731 - Yes, of course I'm all right. - Does anyone have a napkin or something? 1068 01:14:56,801 --> 01:15:01,636 - Card in sleeve. He's a cheat. You were right, Mr. Gordon. - Pretty sloppy, Carswell. 1069 01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:04,231 - That's disgusting. - But to prove that he was a fraud. 1070 01:15:04,308 --> 01:15:06,902 I'm gonna overlook this whole thing because you are an asshole. 1071 01:15:06,977 --> 01:15:10,310 Monsieur Gordon is right. You are an asshole. 1072 01:15:10,381 --> 01:15:13,043 Gentlemen, I've never done anything like this before in my life. 1073 01:15:13,117 --> 01:15:15,312 I'm afraid you'll have to leave the casino, sir. 1074 01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:19,914 - Gentlemen, please believe me. - It doesn't matter what we believe, does it, Carswell? 1075 01:15:23,127 --> 01:15:25,152 Tra la. 1076 01:15:26,931 --> 01:15:30,731 All right. This hand is dead. Everybody will get their money back. 1077 01:15:33,504 --> 01:15:37,270 - What say we go someplace quiet for a night cap? - Someplace quiet? 1078 01:15:37,341 --> 01:15:39,866 - Yeah. - Right. Like your room, right? 1079 01:15:39,944 --> 01:15:42,777 - Wonderful suggestion. - No. 1080 01:15:42,847 --> 01:15:46,305 No, that wasn't my suggestion. 1081 01:15:49,620 --> 01:15:51,611 - Oh. - Madam. 1082 01:15:51,689 --> 01:15:56,126 - Thank you. Oh, this is a nice suite, Charlie. - Isn't that nice? 1083 01:16:06,103 --> 01:16:08,196 Charlie, about your cologne. 1084 01:16:08,272 --> 01:16:10,331 Oh, it's not cologne. It's aftershave lotion. 1085 01:16:10,408 --> 01:16:13,866 You ever thought of, uh, growing a beard? 1086 01:16:13,944 --> 01:16:17,402 - Oh, yeah. Sometimes. - Oh. Uh-huh. 1087 01:16:17,481 --> 01:16:20,507 Uh... 1088 01:16:20,584 --> 01:16:23,553 Charlie? 1089 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:26,556 Oh, Charlie.! 1090 01:16:33,197 --> 01:16:35,529 Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. 1091 01:16:35,599 --> 01:16:38,500 It should be another day of calm seas and smooth sailing. 1092 01:16:38,569 --> 01:16:42,335 For your convenience, if you're in a hurry to meet your shore tour for the eclipse... 1093 01:16:51,715 --> 01:16:53,740 Oh! 1094 01:17:00,891 --> 01:17:03,052 That's above and beyond the call of duty. 1095 01:17:03,127 --> 01:17:05,254 Yeah. He should make captain for that. 1096 01:17:16,106 --> 01:17:19,542 Oh, yes. Oh, yes. 1097 01:17:19,610 --> 01:17:21,737 Oh! 1098 01:17:27,284 --> 01:17:29,514 Armor All? 1099 01:17:34,191 --> 01:17:36,182 I really had a good time last night, Charlie. 1100 01:17:36,260 --> 01:17:39,423 - I really enjoyed myself. - L-I... I just wanted... 1101 01:17:39,497 --> 01:17:41,692 Shh, shh. You don't have to. 1102 01:17:45,336 --> 01:17:48,271 Oh. What happened to the good-lookin' one? 1103 01:17:48,339 --> 01:17:51,604 This is a good-lookin' one, Ma. 1104 01:17:51,675 --> 01:17:53,666 See you later. 1105 01:17:56,747 --> 01:17:58,738 Huh. 1106 01:18:08,826 --> 01:18:11,624 Yah! I'll race you around the ship, pal. 1107 01:18:26,944 --> 01:18:29,208 Bravo! Bravissimo.! Bravo! 1108 01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:46,059 After a lifetime of wandering through the deserts of humanity... 1109 01:18:47,464 --> 01:18:53,027 - I find in you my oasis... - That's terrible. 1110 01:18:54,939 --> 01:18:58,841 The doctors say I have only a few more months. 1111 01:18:58,909 --> 01:19:01,537 Let's be married before one more grain of sand... 1112 01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:04,740 flows through the hourglass of mortality. 1113 01:19:04,815 --> 01:19:06,942 You barely know this woman. 1114 01:19:07,017 --> 01:19:10,384 Liz, I would be honored if you took my last name... 1115 01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,718 and put it on your bank account. 1116 01:19:12,790 --> 01:19:14,985 That's the one. 1117 01:19:15,059 --> 01:19:19,189 All passengers going ashore to view the eclipse... 1118 01:19:19,263 --> 01:19:22,027 please remember to wear your protective eyewear. 1119 01:19:22,099 --> 01:19:24,260 Well, the one-ounce bottle is beautiful. 1120 01:19:24,335 --> 01:19:26,599 - I'll take it. - Okay. 1121 01:19:32,309 --> 01:19:35,335 I finally figured it out, seeing you here in the gift shop. 1122 01:19:35,412 --> 01:19:39,576 Back at St. Vincent's? Seems like I was always running into you in the gift shop. 1123 01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:41,641 St. Vincent? 1124 01:19:41,719 --> 01:19:43,914 Oh, my God. It's Nurse Collins. 1125 01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:47,856 - Oh. I can't believe that I didn't recognize you. 1126 01:19:47,925 --> 01:19:49,916 It's probably not one of your better memories. 1127 01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:52,827 Oh, no, no. Come on. Suzie was nuts about you. 1128 01:19:52,896 --> 01:19:55,990 - The feeling was mutual. - Yeah. 1129 01:19:56,066 --> 01:19:58,728 You, on the other hand, were a complete pain in the butt. 1130 01:19:58,802 --> 01:20:00,793 Yeah. 1131 01:20:00,871 --> 01:20:05,433 - I've got exactly 20 minutes. How about a cup of coffee? - Love it. 1132 01:20:05,509 --> 01:20:09,036 Passengers going ashore, please report to tender deck, midship. 1133 01:20:09,113 --> 01:20:13,846 Even towards the end, th-there were moments... 1134 01:20:13,917 --> 01:20:16,909 when-when... when we both felt... 1135 01:20:16,987 --> 01:20:19,182 I don't know how... 1136 01:20:19,256 --> 01:20:23,158 That we weren't going to let this thing beat us. 1137 01:20:23,227 --> 01:20:27,129 - Yeah. You guys were one of those couples. - Yeah. 1138 01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:30,598 I remember on the last night... By that time, there's so much medication... 1139 01:20:30,668 --> 01:20:33,102 who knows whether they understand what's goin' on, but... 1140 01:20:33,170 --> 01:20:37,800 I remember you leaning right down next to her ear... 1141 01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:42,141 telling her you'd be in love with her always and forever. 1142 01:20:43,514 --> 01:20:47,712 Shejust had this... I don't know. 1143 01:20:47,785 --> 01:20:50,413 It was like a light in her eyes. 1144 01:20:50,487 --> 01:20:52,478 You knew she knew. 1145 01:20:54,625 --> 01:20:57,890 I shouldn't be saying this. 1146 01:20:57,961 --> 01:21:00,794 Oh, no, no. It's nice, really. 1147 01:21:00,864 --> 01:21:03,389 It's fine. It's... 1148 01:21:07,204 --> 01:21:09,638 - Oh. Weren't you going ashore? - Huh? 1149 01:21:09,707 --> 01:21:12,039 The eclipse. I don't wanna miss it. 1150 01:21:12,109 --> 01:21:14,441 Oh, yeah. 1151 01:21:14,511 --> 01:21:18,003 Well, uh, listen, uh... It-It was great... 1152 01:21:18,082 --> 01:21:20,073 - Oh. - You know, seeing you. 1153 01:21:20,150 --> 01:21:22,141 Really. Very, very nice. 1154 01:21:22,219 --> 01:21:24,119 - Me too. - Thank you. 1155 01:21:24,188 --> 01:21:28,022 The last tender for shore departs in five minutes. 1156 01:21:28,092 --> 01:21:31,755 Please remember that all passengers must return to ship by 4:30. 1157 01:21:56,286 --> 01:21:59,119 Liz, life drifts away... 1158 01:21:59,189 --> 01:22:02,454 - Like grains of sand through an hourglass. 1159 01:22:04,561 --> 01:22:09,294 Charlie, I'm sorry. L-I... I just don't get what you're trying to say to me. 1160 01:22:09,366 --> 01:22:11,357 - Liz. - Yeah? 1161 01:22:11,435 --> 01:22:14,461 Even though we've only known each other a short time... 1162 01:22:14,538 --> 01:22:16,529 That's true. It's been short. 1163 01:22:16,607 --> 01:22:19,599 Liz, after a lifetime... 1164 01:22:19,676 --> 01:22:23,578 of going through a desert of humanity, you... 1165 01:22:23,647 --> 01:22:26,980 Charlie! Charlie, Charlie! Charlie, look! 1166 01:22:27,050 --> 01:22:29,712 Look! Look, Charlie! 1167 01:22:29,787 --> 01:22:32,187 It's happening, and we're here to see it. 1168 01:22:32,256 --> 01:22:34,816 Even though... Liz, will you listen to me for a minute? 1169 01:22:34,892 --> 01:22:39,420 - Oh! - Even though we're like two ships passing through the night... 1170 01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:42,488 - Why don't we get married, Charlie? - Good idea. 1171 01:22:47,771 --> 01:22:49,762 Liz, will you marry me? 1172 01:22:53,143 --> 01:22:56,943 - Is that a yes? - Yeah. That's a yes. 1173 01:22:59,049 --> 01:23:02,541 - Oh. - I think we're missing it, sweetheart. 1174 01:23:29,980 --> 01:23:31,971 Always and forever, kiddo. 1175 01:23:37,788 --> 01:23:42,316 - Oh, no. - Maybe he's in thejohn. 1176 01:23:44,461 --> 01:23:46,452 Mom? 1177 01:23:46,530 --> 01:23:50,330 - Hi. How'd it go? - Great. We got it all on video. 1178 01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:52,766 Fine. I won't speak for the rest of our marriage. 1179 01:23:52,836 --> 01:23:56,829 - Mom, how are you? - I'm going home. 1180 01:23:56,907 --> 01:24:02,402 - All right, then we're gonna go with you. - No. No. It's your anniversary. 1181 01:24:02,479 --> 01:24:05,937 - Celebrate it while you can. - No, Mom, really. We can all go. That's fine. 1182 01:24:07,584 --> 01:24:10,678 I want to take care of myself. 1183 01:24:10,754 --> 01:24:13,621 Do you understand? 1184 01:24:13,690 --> 01:24:17,091 I need to take care of myself. 1185 01:24:26,336 --> 01:24:28,702 Explosions] 1186 01:24:34,811 --> 01:24:36,802 How'd it go with Daddy Warbucks? 1187 01:24:39,283 --> 01:24:42,113 We're gettin' married. 1188 01:24:42,189 --> 01:24:44,657 Hot damn! 1189 01:24:44,725 --> 01:24:48,058 I knew we'd snag one of'em. 1190 01:24:48,128 --> 01:24:52,792 Now here's what we're gonna do. 1191 01:24:52,866 --> 01:24:57,132 We can plan a... What the hell's the matter with you? 1192 01:24:57,204 --> 01:25:00,367 - Nothin'. - Hallelujah. 1193 01:25:00,440 --> 01:25:04,638 I'm tellin' you, Liz, we are in clover. 1194 01:25:04,711 --> 01:25:09,307 - What do you figure he's worth? - I don't know. I don't care. 1195 01:25:09,382 --> 01:25:13,842 Well, I don't know... but I do care. 1196 01:25:13,920 --> 01:25:18,152 We have spent our last two dimes on this highfalutin' stateroom. 1197 01:25:18,225 --> 01:25:22,218 - Ma, I like him. - Good for you. 1198 01:25:22,295 --> 01:25:25,059 He's... He's so sweet. 1199 01:25:25,132 --> 01:25:29,398 - And he's... He's... a decent man. - Terrific. 1200 01:25:29,469 --> 01:25:31,334 And he makes me laugh. 1201 01:25:31,404 --> 01:25:34,999 You not only snagged yourself a millionaire... 1202 01:25:35,075 --> 01:25:38,476 you're gonna have laughs into the bargain. 1203 01:25:38,545 --> 01:25:40,740 Yeah. 1204 01:25:40,814 --> 01:25:44,773 The last tender for shore departs in five minutes. 1205 01:25:44,851 --> 01:25:48,685 Please remember that all passengers must return to ship by 4:30. 1206 01:25:48,755 --> 01:25:52,919 We will be raising the anchor at 5:00 p. m. And setting sail for Cozumel. 1207 01:25:56,496 --> 01:26:00,626 - Hell, he probably... He probably changed his mind. - No, Ma. 1208 01:26:02,135 --> 01:26:04,126 - Hi, sweetheart. - Oh, hi. 1209 01:26:04,204 --> 01:26:08,800 - Oh, you look enchanting. - Oh, thank you. 1210 01:26:08,875 --> 01:26:12,971 Hello... Mother. 1211 01:26:13,046 --> 01:26:15,776 Charlie, don't overshoot the runway. 1212 01:26:15,849 --> 01:26:20,013 I love family. We'd better get goin'. 1213 01:26:21,621 --> 01:26:25,148 Oh, it's Mr. Gordon. Don't let this one get away. He's a good one. 1214 01:26:25,225 --> 01:26:28,991 Mrs. Carruthers, Gil Godwyn, this is Mavis and Liz "LaDreck. " 1215 01:26:29,062 --> 01:26:31,053 - LaBreche. - How you doin'? 1216 01:26:31,131 --> 01:26:34,794 Hmm. That's a familiar cologne, Mr. Gordon. 1217 01:26:34,868 --> 01:26:37,666 Yes. Thank you. You can pick it up anywhere. 1218 01:26:37,737 --> 01:26:40,900 Matter of fact, I picked some up this morning... on my pillow. 1219 01:26:40,974 --> 01:26:44,068 This guy's hilarious. 1220 01:26:44,144 --> 01:26:46,704 Liz, have you had the chance yet of dancing with Mr. Gordon? 1221 01:26:46,780 --> 01:26:49,510 - No, not yet, but I'm looking forward to it. - See you in the ballroom, Gordon... 1222 01:26:49,583 --> 01:26:52,518 with the rest of the dance hosts. 1223 01:26:55,622 --> 01:26:58,523 With the rest of the what? 1224 01:26:58,592 --> 01:27:01,823 Oh, he's always kidding around. He thinks I should become a dance host. 1225 01:27:01,895 --> 01:27:03,886 Charlie, I'm confused here. 1226 01:27:03,964 --> 01:27:07,730 - You told me that you were in mergers and acquisitions. - Well, he is. 1227 01:27:07,801 --> 01:27:11,532 His job is to acquire a partner and to merge with her on the dance floor. 1228 01:27:11,605 --> 01:27:13,766 Isn't that right, Gordon? 1229 01:27:14,908 --> 01:27:16,899 Liz, I was gonna mention this to you. 1230 01:27:16,977 --> 01:27:19,275 That would have been a good idea. 1231 01:27:19,346 --> 01:27:23,442 You see... Wait a minute, Liz. Come back. Let me explain. 1232 01:27:23,516 --> 01:27:25,848 Where are you going, Mother? 1233 01:27:25,919 --> 01:27:27,910 I hate losers. 1234 01:27:29,589 --> 01:27:32,057 Thanks a lot, pal. 1235 01:27:32,125 --> 01:27:34,719 Gil? What just happened? 1236 01:27:34,794 --> 01:27:36,785 - Well, where's your mother? - She's not coming back on board. 1237 01:27:36,863 --> 01:27:38,854 You can tell your friend she's going home. 1238 01:27:38,932 --> 01:27:41,025 - Where's my friend? - Question of the day. 1239 01:27:58,418 --> 01:28:01,353 - What the hell are you doin' up here? - Oh, hi. 1240 01:28:03,690 --> 01:28:07,091 Ah, Charlie, I'm... I'm still in love with Suzie. 1241 01:28:07,160 --> 01:28:11,062 - It seems to present a problem. - It's only a problem if you want it to be. 1242 01:28:11,131 --> 01:28:14,726 - Don't start with me, huh? - Go on after Vivian. Go now. 1243 01:28:14,801 --> 01:28:17,895 - Look, I hardly know her. - You know her, and you're crazy about her. 1244 01:28:17,971 --> 01:28:20,838 The question is, have you got the balls to do anything about it? 1245 01:28:20,907 --> 01:28:24,741 - Well, I... I'm just not ready yet. - Then get ready. 1246 01:28:24,811 --> 01:28:27,678 - You're here now. You're living. You're breathing. You got a choice. 1247 01:28:27,747 --> 01:28:31,581 - I can't do it. - Will you stop using Suzie as a safety net. 1248 01:28:31,651 --> 01:28:33,676 Wait a minute. Who in the hell are you to tell me... 1249 01:28:33,753 --> 01:28:36,722 She was my sister before she was your wife. 1250 01:28:36,790 --> 01:28:38,781 If she were here now, she'd tell you the same thing. 1251 01:28:38,858 --> 01:28:41,691 But she is not here now, is she, Charlie? 1252 01:28:41,761 --> 01:28:43,752 She's gone. 1253 01:28:43,830 --> 01:28:46,264 That's right, Herb, but you're not. 1254 01:28:56,810 --> 01:29:01,008 - What the hell am I doin' here? - That's what I asked you in the first place. 1255 01:29:01,081 --> 01:29:03,709 I am not authorized to give you that information. 1256 01:29:03,783 --> 01:29:07,219 Hey, I'm not authorized to throw your ass overboard, but I'll do it. 1257 01:29:07,287 --> 01:29:09,687 Now tell me where she is. 1258 01:29:09,756 --> 01:29:14,352 You'd better tell him, mister. This man's got a black belt in sum flung dung... 1259 01:29:14,427 --> 01:29:16,520 or one of them things. 1260 01:29:16,596 --> 01:29:20,862 Please. 1261 01:29:20,934 --> 01:29:24,529 All right, look. All I know is we got a message that she's flying home. 1262 01:29:24,604 --> 01:29:26,595 - She's flying? - Yes. 1263 01:29:26,673 --> 01:29:28,664 - From where? - I have no idea. 1264 01:29:28,775 --> 01:29:30,800 All right, all right. 1265 01:29:30,877 --> 01:29:34,643 Stop the car. Stop the car. Stop the car! 1266 01:29:34,714 --> 01:29:37,205 Stop... Stop the car. 1267 01:29:37,283 --> 01:29:41,083 Oh, my Lord! Where in the... 1268 01:29:44,524 --> 01:29:48,016 Oh. Look, I don't think you understand us at all. 1269 01:29:48,094 --> 01:29:50,995 We want to go to the airport. 1270 01:29:51,064 --> 01:29:54,591 - S�, se�ora. The airport. - That thing? 1271 01:29:54,667 --> 01:29:56,658 - Oh, my Lord. - I get the luggage. 1272 01:29:56,736 --> 01:29:59,364 No. Leave the luggage where it is, please. 1273 01:29:59,439 --> 01:30:01,339 Wait a minute. I see somebody. 1274 01:30:01,408 --> 01:30:04,741 Right out of the corner of my eye. Don't you move. 1275 01:30:04,811 --> 01:30:07,905 You stay right where you are. Come on, dear. 1276 01:30:07,981 --> 01:30:11,542 Come on. Uh, excuse me, but maybe you could help me. 1277 01:30:11,618 --> 01:30:14,610 This crazy cab driver's tryin'to tell me that this is a... 1278 01:30:14,687 --> 01:30:17,918 - "aerioporto. " - S�. 1279 01:30:17,991 --> 01:30:21,620 - Ayayay. - I don't believe this. I don't believe this. 1280 01:30:21,694 --> 01:30:23,685 All right, if this is the "aerioporto... " 1281 01:30:23,763 --> 01:30:26,027 then maybe you can show me a... a piloto. 1282 01:30:26,099 --> 01:30:29,626 - You're looking at him. - What? 1283 01:30:29,702 --> 01:30:31,829 You want a lift, sweetcakes? 1284 01:30:34,140 --> 01:30:38,201 - My God Almighty, did you hear what he just called me? - Sure did. 1285 01:30:49,222 --> 01:30:52,783 - Come on. - Are you crazy? This is dangerous. 1286 01:30:52,859 --> 01:30:54,850 What's the matter, Charlie? You afraid to live a little? 1287 01:30:54,928 --> 01:30:58,091 Living is good. It's dying I'm worried about. 1288 01:30:59,799 --> 01:31:03,735 Where are Gordon and Sullivan? 1289 01:31:03,803 --> 01:31:06,499 And don't give me any of that "code among comrades" crap. 1290 01:31:06,573 --> 01:31:08,564 Sir! Don't have the foggiest. Sir! 1291 01:31:09,576 --> 01:31:11,908 Oh, bollocks! 1292 01:31:11,978 --> 01:31:14,811 Uh... Pardon me. Pardon me. 1293 01:31:14,881 --> 01:31:17,247 This should be good. 1294 01:31:17,317 --> 01:31:20,047 - $500 cash. - Are you out of your mind? 1295 01:31:20,120 --> 01:31:22,850 - That's too much money. - That doesn't mean I ain't a good pilot. 1296 01:31:25,058 --> 01:31:28,858 Look at this. Look at this. It's J.F.K. All of a sudden. 1297 01:31:28,928 --> 01:31:30,919 Buenas noches. 1298 01:31:30,997 --> 01:31:33,625 I have an idea, Ma. Just stay with me. 1299 01:31:33,700 --> 01:31:36,533 Good evenin'. I don't know you, but this man over here... 1300 01:31:36,603 --> 01:31:39,731 says that he will charge us $500 to get to a real airport. 1301 01:31:39,806 --> 01:31:41,967 Now, would you be interested in splittin' that with us? 1302 01:31:42,041 --> 01:31:44,509 - Absolutely. - You got a deal. 1303 01:31:44,577 --> 01:31:46,568 You wanna ride shotgun? 1304 01:31:46,646 --> 01:31:49,274 Don't touch me. 1305 01:31:49,349 --> 01:31:52,284 - Okay, get ready, kid. - And where do we think we're going? 1306 01:31:52,352 --> 01:31:56,880 Oh, hi there. We're just gonna go scouting for some icebergs. 1307 01:31:56,956 --> 01:32:01,052 You two geezers aren't going anywhere except back to your cabin where you will stay... 1308 01:32:01,127 --> 01:32:04,062 Listen to me, you sniveling little brownnose! 1309 01:32:04,130 --> 01:32:07,896 I have lived for 71 years, I fought a war, I buried my wife... 1310 01:32:07,967 --> 01:32:12,233 and I have survived 48 white sales at Gimbel's. 1311 01:32:12,305 --> 01:32:17,504 So if you think that some little fop like you is gonna stop me, you got another think comin! 1312 01:32:17,577 --> 01:32:19,807 How dare you speak to me that way! 1313 01:32:19,879 --> 01:32:23,178 - May I speak to you for a moment, please? - No, you may not! 1314 01:32:23,249 --> 01:32:25,581 Oh! 1315 01:32:25,652 --> 01:32:27,677 Way to go, Charlie! 1316 01:32:29,722 --> 01:32:32,520 I can't stop it, Charlie! 1317 01:32:32,592 --> 01:32:34,184 Hang on, Charlie! 1318 01:32:36,729 --> 01:32:38,321 We're gonna hit! 1319 01:32:40,099 --> 01:32:43,193 Bon voyage, meathead. 1320 01:32:43,269 --> 01:32:45,703 I hope your boat capsizes... 1321 01:32:45,772 --> 01:32:48,434 and you drown like bloody rats! 1322 01:32:48,508 --> 01:32:52,308 - Bye.! - When that old bag makes me V. P... 1323 01:32:52,378 --> 01:32:55,040 I'll see to it you never work another cruise ship... 1324 01:32:55,114 --> 01:32:57,708 as long as you live! 1325 01:32:57,784 --> 01:32:59,718 Hah! 1326 01:33:02,655 --> 01:33:05,715 Good evening, Ellen. Eh... 1327 01:33:05,792 --> 01:33:08,226 - What are you doing out here? - You know, Gil... 1328 01:33:08,294 --> 01:33:11,889 I find it hard to believe, but it really is true. You are an asshole. 1329 01:33:11,965 --> 01:33:15,958 - Oh. I'm simply doing my job. - Oh, you have no job. 1330 01:33:16,035 --> 01:33:18,629 You're fired. Mac? 1331 01:33:18,705 --> 01:33:21,970 - As of now, you are my new C.D. - No... 1332 01:33:23,042 --> 01:33:25,033 What about me? 1333 01:33:25,111 --> 01:33:27,341 You're... his friend. 1334 01:33:29,882 --> 01:33:31,873 What the hell is she talking about? 1335 01:33:31,951 --> 01:33:34,681 She's talkin' about "button that button," you little prick. 1336 01:33:36,122 --> 01:33:39,091 Prick. 1337 01:33:44,564 --> 01:33:46,930 You know what I don't see? Land. 1338 01:33:47,000 --> 01:33:50,629 - It's there. - I see nothing but night. 1339 01:33:50,703 --> 01:33:53,831 Hope we don't get stranded. 1340 01:33:53,906 --> 01:33:56,101 You know, these are shark-infested waters. 1341 01:33:56,175 --> 01:33:59,269 We're not gonna get stranded. 1342 01:33:59,345 --> 01:34:01,609 They say that the big ones will swallow you whole. 1343 01:34:01,681 --> 01:34:03,808 Swallow my what? 1344 01:34:03,883 --> 01:34:06,613 You're not helping me, Charles. 1345 01:34:06,686 --> 01:34:10,122 - Here, let me do that. - What makes you think you can do it? 1346 01:34:10,189 --> 01:34:13,056 - Because I'm taller than you are. - Oh, that has nothin' to do with it, taller. 1347 01:34:13,126 --> 01:34:15,993 It's in... It's in the wrist. 1348 01:34:16,062 --> 01:34:18,053 We did it. 1349 01:34:18,131 --> 01:34:19,996 - We did it. - Yeah. 1350 01:34:23,636 --> 01:34:26,002 Well, it turns nicely. 1351 01:34:26,072 --> 01:34:28,563 Sit down, will ya, so I can see where I'm goin'. 1352 01:34:28,641 --> 01:34:30,632 Eh! 1353 01:34:32,211 --> 01:34:34,236 - Are you from the cruise? - Uh-huh. 1354 01:34:34,314 --> 01:34:36,714 - I thought so. - Now, here he comes. 1355 01:34:36,783 --> 01:34:39,809 - Be careful. Watch your head. - Good evening, ladies, and welcome aboard. 1356 01:34:39,886 --> 01:34:43,083 - Oh, my God. - And thank you for choosing Vaya Azul. 1357 01:34:43,156 --> 01:34:47,354 Oh, my God. 1358 01:34:47,427 --> 01:34:51,295 Piece of shit. 1359 01:34:51,364 --> 01:34:54,128 Which one of the Wright brothers did you buy this from? 1360 01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:56,327 Probably the one you dated in high school. 1361 01:34:56,402 --> 01:34:58,927 Ooh! I feel so much better. That's very reassuring. 1362 01:34:59,005 --> 01:35:02,168 We have a funny pilot! 1363 01:35:02,241 --> 01:35:04,709 Hold it! My God! What are you doing? 1364 01:35:04,777 --> 01:35:06,836 I wanna get out of here, Ma. 1365 01:35:06,913 --> 01:35:09,438 We're goin'! We're goin'! 1366 01:35:21,728 --> 01:35:23,992 Take it easy now. Oh, my Lord! 1367 01:35:26,232 --> 01:35:29,258 There! A plane! 1368 01:35:29,335 --> 01:35:31,326 There's a plane. 1369 01:35:31,404 --> 01:35:33,702 - Is she in it? - I don't know. 1370 01:35:33,773 --> 01:35:36,867 Do you see a telescope attached to my head? 1371 01:35:36,943 --> 01:35:39,036 Oh, come on, baby. Come on. Let's go. 1372 01:35:39,112 --> 01:35:41,376 - Come on, baby! Come on. - Ooh-ooh! 1373 01:35:43,683 --> 01:35:46,049 Ah! Ah! 1374 01:35:46,119 --> 01:35:48,349 - Wait.! Wait.! - Wait.! Wait.! Hold it.! 1375 01:35:48,421 --> 01:35:50,582 - Wait.! Stop.! - Wait a minute.! 1376 01:35:50,656 --> 01:35:55,525 - Wait for us.! - It's Herbie.! Herbie and his friend.! 1377 01:35:55,595 --> 01:35:57,563 Wait a minute.! Hold it.! 1378 01:35:57,630 --> 01:36:01,862 Oh, God.! Ah.! 1379 01:36:01,934 --> 01:36:03,697 Hold it! Hold it! 1380 01:36:03,770 --> 01:36:06,068 Wait! Wait! 1381 01:36:07,206 --> 01:36:09,265 Wait a minute! Wait! 1382 01:36:09,342 --> 01:36:12,038 Down here! 1383 01:36:14,447 --> 01:36:16,574 - Hey! - Hey! 1384 01:36:16,649 --> 01:36:19,379 Turn back! 1385 01:36:19,452 --> 01:36:22,285 They're not gonna hear a whistle, for cryin' out loud. 1386 01:36:22,355 --> 01:36:24,380 Hey.! 1387 01:36:29,695 --> 01:36:32,960 Wait a minute. Wait a minute! 1388 01:36:33,032 --> 01:36:35,398 - What are you doin'? - You'll see. 1389 01:36:37,537 --> 01:36:41,064 - What are you doin'? - Yeah. 1390 01:36:41,140 --> 01:36:43,472 Yeah. 1391 01:36:43,543 --> 01:36:45,909 What are you gonna do, shoot down the plane? 1392 01:36:47,413 --> 01:36:49,847 Oh, my God. 1393 01:36:58,224 --> 01:37:00,818 It's a flare. 1394 01:37:00,893 --> 01:37:04,329 - See the flare? - Now, turn for God sakes. 1395 01:37:04,397 --> 01:37:06,661 - See it? Turn. - Turn.! Come back.! 1396 01:37:09,335 --> 01:37:11,326 Come back! Turn around! 1397 01:37:12,872 --> 01:37:15,340 Ensign... Matowski. 1398 01:37:15,408 --> 01:37:18,866 - What? - Herb. 1399 01:37:24,317 --> 01:37:27,115 Oh, my God. That can't be Charlie. 1400 01:37:29,288 --> 01:37:31,222 No way. 1401 01:37:33,626 --> 01:37:35,617 - Turn the plane around. - It's probably just... 1402 01:37:35,695 --> 01:37:38,528 - What is your problem? - Just do it. 1403 01:37:38,598 --> 01:37:42,227 - Come back.! - Do it, baby.! 1404 01:37:42,301 --> 01:37:45,031 Turn... Yes! He's turning! 1405 01:37:45,104 --> 01:37:50,565 - Way to go! - Whoa-ho! Ha-ha! 1406 01:38:15,731 --> 01:38:18,666 - Liz. - Charlie. 1407 01:38:23,372 --> 01:38:26,170 - You're late. - Yeah. 1408 01:38:26,242 --> 01:38:29,268 I had a little, uh, trouble getting started. 1409 01:38:40,256 --> 01:38:43,692 The-The plane was... Windy, you know? 1410 01:38:43,759 --> 01:38:45,750 - Yeah. Windy on the plane. - It made my eyes water. 1411 01:38:45,828 --> 01:38:48,729 It does that, yeah. Oh, look at that. 1412 01:38:55,337 --> 01:38:57,328 Liz. 1413 01:38:58,674 --> 01:39:02,166 From the first moment I saw you on that ship... 1414 01:39:02,244 --> 01:39:06,180 - it was my intention to lie to you, I swear. - Oh, that's sweet. 1415 01:39:06,248 --> 01:39:10,184 What I didn't intend was falling in love with you. 1416 01:39:13,923 --> 01:39:16,585 Well, okay. 1417 01:39:16,659 --> 01:39:19,025 The deal is... 1418 01:39:19,094 --> 01:39:21,119 that I'm as big a liar as you, Charlie. 1419 01:39:21,197 --> 01:39:24,496 - I highly doubt it. - I'm broke. 1420 01:39:27,036 --> 01:39:30,972 - I'm sure you're exaggerating. - No, I'm not. 1421 01:39:33,375 --> 01:39:37,141 Not even... a couple hundred thousand? 1422 01:39:37,213 --> 01:39:39,613 Not even. 1423 01:39:39,682 --> 01:39:42,344 Zip. Flat broke. 1424 01:39:46,322 --> 01:39:50,520 Sorry. Door's open. It's not too late. You can leave. 1425 01:39:50,593 --> 01:39:53,027 No. I don't wanna get out. 1426 01:39:54,797 --> 01:39:56,788 I don't wanna leave. 1427 01:40:00,436 --> 01:40:03,701 Uh, how long is all this gonna take? 1428 01:40:03,772 --> 01:40:07,868 Hah! Couple of gold diggers comin' up empty. 1429 01:40:07,943 --> 01:40:09,934 That's terrific. 1430 01:40:10,012 --> 01:40:13,743 We still got the check from Carswell for $18,000. 1431 01:40:13,816 --> 01:40:17,718 Wait a minute. What are you talkin' about? I saw you... 1432 01:40:18,787 --> 01:40:21,415 You taped it? 1433 01:40:21,490 --> 01:40:24,516 What do I look like, a schmuck? 1434 01:40:24,593 --> 01:40:27,619 The jury's still out on that one. 1435 01:40:27,696 --> 01:40:29,789 Shut up, Ma. We're keepin' him. 1436 01:40:31,500 --> 01:40:33,593 Thank you. 1437 01:40:39,375 --> 01:40:42,902 Fifty dollars apiece for picking up the two studs. 1438 01:40:42,978 --> 01:40:46,277 They ought to give you 50 bucks each for callin' 'em studs. 1439 01:40:46,348 --> 01:40:48,339 Herbie, lend me 50 bucks, will you? 1440 01:40:48,417 --> 01:40:50,408 All I got is this check. 1441 01:40:50,486 --> 01:40:52,977 You're not gettin' a nickel out of me, Charlie. 1442 01:43:51,500 --> 01:43:54,162 - Let me just say... - Did you come... 1443 01:43:55,904 --> 01:43:59,465 You got any, uh... crack on you? 1444 01:44:03,812 --> 01:44:07,270 Instead... Instead of-of... 1445 01:44:07,349 --> 01:44:12,480 Instead of-of paying for this cruise... 1446 01:44:13,689 --> 01:44:15,680 It's comin' to me. 1447 01:44:15,757 --> 01:44:20,785 See, we go to schmeer... 1448 01:44:25,534 --> 01:44:28,594 Baby, you talkin' about humpback whales? 1449 01:44:28,670 --> 01:44:30,934 - I was talking about humping, actually. - Yeah. 1450 01:44:31,006 --> 01:44:34,373 Ah! Ah! Ah! 1451 01:44:34,443 --> 01:44:39,176 I just found us a couple of chest butchers that'll whip it out. 1452 01:44:43,585 --> 01:44:47,021 Where were you? 1453 01:44:47,089 --> 01:44:51,355 A pas... A passenger requested an escort, sir. 1454 01:44:51,426 --> 01:44:53,417 Indeed. A likely excuse. 1455 01:44:53,495 --> 01:44:56,396 So I slipped her one in the lifeboat. 1456 01:45:04,640 --> 01:45:06,631 Ah, shit. 1457 01:45:09,378 --> 01:45:12,245 Oh. Look who's here. 1458 01:45:20,222 --> 01:45:23,623 You better tell him, mister. This man's got a martial arts thing... 1459 01:45:23,692 --> 01:45:27,389 in black belt schmeer. 1460 01:45:27,462 --> 01:45:30,158 So if you think that some snot-nosed little fop like you... 1461 01:45:30,232 --> 01:45:34,032 is gonna m... stop me, then... Pinch me, Walter. 1462 01:45:34,102 --> 01:45:37,299 So if you think some snotty little fop like you is gonna change me... 1463 01:45:37,372 --> 01:45:42,537 or me up, then, uh, I'll it up myself. 1464 01:45:42,611 --> 01:45:46,547 Even though we've known each other for a short time... 1465 01:45:50,953 --> 01:45:53,615 The moon... is up your ass. 1466 01:45:53,689 --> 01:45:55,816 Keep looking at Dyan. 1467 01:45:55,891 --> 01:45:59,418 - Don't try to grab my thing. - Oh, isn't that attractive. 1468 01:45:59,494 --> 01:46:03,294 - I wouldn't hold my thing. - What about Walter's hand? 1469 01:46:03,365 --> 01:46:05,765 Oh, Char... 1470 01:46:05,834 --> 01:46:08,962 I really had a good time. 1471 01:46:09,037 --> 01:46:12,165 - I wanna tell you somethin'. - Tell me. Tell me. 1472 01:46:12,240 --> 01:46:15,403 I have never had a better piece of ass. 1473 01:46:20,382 --> 01:46:23,647 La la la la la la la la... 1474 01:46:23,719 --> 01:46:26,813 Did I hear "cut"? 1475 01:46:26,888 --> 01:46:28,549 Great.! 1476 01:46:29,491 --> 01:46:32,016 Dismissed. 118291