All language subtitles for Funny.Face.1957

I love your funny face

Your sunny, funny face

For you're a cutie
with more than beauty

You've got a lot of personality-N-T

You fill the air with smiles

For miles and miles and miles

Though you're no Mona Lisa

For worlds I'd not replace

Your sunny, funny face

You've made my life so glamorous

You can't blame me for feeling amorous

Oh, 's wonderful, 's marvellous...

Good morning, Miss Prescott.

Now hear this.

I simply cannot release this issue
the way it is.

In the 60 years of QUALITY magazine,

this hits rock bottom.

If I let this go through,
I will have failed the American woman.

Oh, no, Miss Prescott, don't say that!

The great American woman
who stands out there naked

waiting for me to tell her what to wear.

It doesn't speak.

And if it won't speak to me,
it won't speak to anyone.

A magazine
must be like a human being.

If it comes into the home,
it must contribute.

It just can't lie around.

A magazine must have...

Blood and brains and bozazz.

This is just paper,

and if I send paper
to the American woman,

I will have let her down!

Oh, no, Miss Prescott,
you mustn't say that!

Yes! "D" for down! "D" for dreary!

"D" for dull and for depressing,
dismal and deadly!

- What? What?
- Here it is! Here is our theme!

Here is our answer! Pink!

It is, too... Girls, girls, girls, girls.

Melissa, take this to all the designers.
I want dresses made up

in exactly this shade of pink.

Babs,
take this round to Kaiser Delmont.

I want shoes and stockings
in exactly this colour.

Laura, everything goes pink!

I want the whole issue pink!
I want the whole country pink!

Lettie, take an editorial!

To the women of America...

No. Make it to the women everywhere.

Banish the black, burn the blue

and bury the beige.

From now on, girls...

Think pink! Think pink
when you shop for summer clothes

Think pink! Think pink
if you want that quelque chose

Red is dead, blue is through
green's obscene, brown's taboo

And there is not the slightest excuse
for plum or puce

or chartreuse

Think pink!
Forget that Dior says black and rust

Think pink!
Who cares if the new look has no bust?

Now, I wouldn't presume
to tell a woman

what a woman ought to think

but tell her if she's gotta think,
think pink!

For bags! Pink for shoes!

Razzle, dazzle, and spread the news

And pink's for the lady
with joie de vivre!

Pinks for all the family

Try pink shampoo

Pink toothpaste, too

Play in pink, all day in pink

Pretty gay in pink

Drive in pink, come alive in pink

and dive in pink

Go out dancing
but just remember one thing

You can get a little wink
if you got a little pink

in your swing

Think pink!

Think pink,
it's the latest word, you know

Think pink!

Think pink and you're Michelangelo

Feels so gay, feels so bright

Makes your day, makes your night

Pink is now the colour to which
you've gotta switch

To which you gotta switch

Every stitch

Every stitch you switch

Think pink!

Think pink on the long, long road ahead

On the road!

Think pink!

Think pink and the world is rosy red!

Everything's rosy

Everything on the great horizon,
everything that you can think

And that includes the kitchen sink

Think pink!

Think pink! Think pink!

Think pink!

Maggie!

- Dovitch, I want to see you.
- Wonderful... Everything...

Girls, back to work.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, that will do.

The Union Pacific Railroad
is going to paint a whole train pink

and send it on a northwest tour.

The TWA will let me know
this afternoon

if we can have a pink plane!

I haven't seen a woman in two weeks
in anything but pink.

- What about you?
- Me? I wouldn't be caught dead.

Oh, Dovitch, I can't wait to tell you
about my feature for the next issue.

It's my newest project,
and when you hear it, you will drop.

- Now what?
- Just you listen.

Dick Avery started working
on the pictures this morning.

He's more excited about it
than any of us. Here it is.

Clothes for the woman
who isn't interested in clothes!

Marion, give me a long look.

Longer!

Oh, Steve, tip that back light
down a bit, will you?

- Right.
- Okay.

Hold it, boys.

Beethoven isn't working. Try Brahms.

Look, Marion, I'd like to try it again.

And this time,
let's see if we can't get with it.

I mean, keep in mind
that you're a woman who thinks.

Now, that is a piece of sculpture
by ltsubuchi.

I want you to look at it
as if you understand it,

as if it understands you. See?

No, Marion, dear,
I'm afraid that's not the way we look

when we're thinking of ltsubuchi.

React to it. Just... Say it.

Its-a-boochi!

I'm afraid we haven't quite got it.
Now, listen carefully.

You are in the
Museum of Modern Art, Marion.

Deep Marion, profound Marion.

You have come across this statue,
and it says something to you

because you are intellectual,
always thinking.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking this is taking a long time,

and I'll never be able to
pick up Harold's laundry.

Boy, when Harold doesn't get
his laundry, disaster.

- Well, if we don't get this picture...
- This is...

...you may never see Harold's laundry
or Harold again. All right. Let's go.

The woman who thinks
must come to grips

with the reality of fashionable attire.

A woman can be beautiful
as well as intellectual.

See facing page.

And how is the facing page?

The facing page looks
about as intellectual as a snail.

Nonsense. Marion can be very deep.

Look at her. She's reading.

Marion, dear, what are you reading?

Minutemen From Mars.

Are we all gonna hang
around this oxygen tent,

or do we get somebody else?

- How about Lucy Brand?
- On her honeymoon.

- Betty Hayes?
- She's in jail.

Aren't there any models around
who can think as well as they look?

Marion might look better
in a different background.

We can go on location.
Some intellectual hangout.

- Somewhere with books.
- A bookstore.

Of course! One of those sinister places
in Greenwich Village.

- Come on, girls!
- That's it. Let's hurry.

We might have to stop and pick up
Harold's laundry on the way.

There's one.

Driver, stop here.

That's sinister enough.

Melissa, for heaven's sake,
help me with this lamp. It's heavy!

- I can't, Babs. I've got my hands full!
- I can't handle both of these things!

I'll take some of the things.

It's movingly dismal!

We couldn't have done better
if we designed it ourselves.

Marion looks smarter already.
I hope they've got enough...

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you up there.

Are you all right?

Yes, thank you. Can I help you?

- All right, girls, let's get started.
- Would you like a book?

Marion, dear! Over here!

- Who are those...
- Right over here. Good.

May I help you?

Thank you very much.
I think we have everything we need.

Would you please tell me
what all this is about?

We'll only be a minute.
We're just going to take a few pictures.

Pictures? What sort of pictures?

- Are you the owner?
- No, Dr Post is the owner.

I work here
and I'm in charge in her absence.

- I'm Jo Stockton. Can you help me...
- How do you do? I'm Dick Avery.

- I'll bet that's very good...
- What about these pictures?

Well, we're using the shop
as a background

for some fashion pictures
for QUALITY magazine.

I'm sorry, but I can't let you do this.
Dr Post would never approve.

She doesn't approve
of fashion magazines.

It's chichi and an unrealistic approach
to self-impressions

as well as economics.

We're going to have trouble.
She's a thinker.

She's also a talker.

I must ask you to leave.
You have no right...

We throw ourselves at your mercy.

Haven't poor, helpless people like us
a right to make a living?

I have asked you to leave.
That is my right.

If the rights of the individual
are not respected by the group,

the group itself cannot exist for long.

What does that mean?

Something like do unto others
as you would have others do unto you.

We're only going to do unto you
for a moment.

- Then you have my...
- No, but I...

It's no more than
we would do unto ourselves.

Girls, I want all these books rearranged!

They look too much alike.

They're too pat. Come on, mix them up.

No, don't do that!
You mustn't mix them up.

All those books in the shelf
pertain to empiricism,

and on this shelf, materialism,

and on this shelf,
psycho-physical parallelism!

Oh, no, put them back.
Please talk to her. It'll take me hours!

One never talks to Maggie Prescott.
One only listens.

Dick, I think we ought to use her
in the shot.

Miss, will you come down here, please?

- Me?
- Just as atmosphere.

You'll be selling a book to that girl.

- Her?
- Well, it's very simple.

Just pretend that Marion can read.

Say, listen!

All right, Marion. Let's go.

But this would be an absolute violation
of all my principles.

It would be hypocrisy for me
to lend myself to this sort of idealism.

- I'm sorry...
- Oh, shush...

Now tell Marion about the books
so that we can get out of here.

This book deals
with epiphenomenalism,

which has to do with consciousness

as a mere accessory
of physiological processes

whose presence or absence

makes no difference.

Whatever are you doing?

All right! Hold it!

- Good. Let's get her another outfit.
- Good.

Now let's get her into...
Put on the chiffon.

None of you seems to realise

that you're trespassing
on private property!

You all run around here
in sublime ignorance of the fact

that I can have you put in jail!

- Now, for the last time...
- You're getting very tiresome.

What are you doing?

Let go! Let go of my arm!

I know you don't mean any harm, child,
but you are in everyone's way.

Now we won't be a moment.

Let me in!

The air will do her good.
She was very pale.

All right. Hit it.

Hold it. Ready.

Good. One more, please.

All right. Hit it.

Hold it. Ready.

Very good, Marion.
One more, please. Last one.

All right, here we go. Hit it.

Hold it. Ready.

Okay. That's it. That ought to do.

I got some more...

Are you quite through?

Thank you. You've been wonderful.
We'll mention the shop in the magazine.

- Don't you dare!
- Taxi!

Oh, no!

Hello there.

I stayed to help you
put these things back.

I'm sorry.
I didn't realise we made such a mess.

Which shelf for materialism?

Just hand them to me.

Oh, no.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, I'm sorry.
We don't usually barge in that way.

I don't mean that.
I mean, a man of your ability

wasting his time
photographing silly dresses

on silly women.

I don't know. Most people think

they're beautiful dresses
on beautiful women.

At most, a synthetic beauty.

Trees are beautiful.

Why don't you photograph trees?

I do what I do for a living.
It has to do with supply and demand.

You'd be amazed how small
the demand is for pictures of trees.

My work is very pleasant,
the pay is excellent,

and I get a trip to Paris every year.

I certainly envy you that.

I'd be in Paris now if I could afford it.

You'd have a ball.
You'd go to a party every night,

drink nothing but champagne,
swim in perfume,

and a new love affair
every hour on the hour.

If I went to Paris,

it would be to go to
Emile Flostre's lectures.

Who goes to Paris for lectures?

Professor Flostre is the greatest

living philosopher
and father of empathicalism.

What's empathicalism?

The most sensible approach
to true understanding

and peace of mind.

- Sounds great, but what is it?
- It's based on empathy.

Do you know what the word
empathy means?

No. I'll have to have
the beginner's course on that one.

Empathy?
Is it something like sympathy?

Oh, it goes beyond sympathy.

Sympathy is to understand
what someone feels.

Empathy is to project
your imagination so you actually feel

what the other person is feeling.

You put yourself
in the other person's place.

Do I make myself clear?

Why did you do that?

Empathy. I put myself in your place,
and I felt that you wanted to be kissed.

I'm afraid you put yourself
in the wrong place.

I have no desire to be kissed,
by you or anyone else.

Don't be silly.
Everybody wants to be kissed,

even philosophers.

I'm sorry, Mr Avery.
We don't stock what you're looking for.

- I'll let you out.
- Don't bother.

I'll throw myself out.

Goodbye.

I was taught that I ought
not expose my inner senses

Had no plan for a man

I was full of self-defences

Now I feel that I really
should face the consequences

My philosophic search

has left me in the lurch

I must find why my mind
is behaving like a dancer

What's the clue to pursue?

For I have to have the answer

I could cry salty tears

Where have I been all these years?

Is it fun?
Or should I run?

How long has this been going on?

There were chills up my spine

And some thrills I can't define

Does it show?
And who would know?

How long has this been going on?

Oh, I feel that I could melt

Into heaven I'm hurled

I know how Columbus felt

finding another world

Can I trust how I feel?

Is this my Achilles heel?

Look at me

I'm all at sea

How long has this been going on?

This is grand!

This is great!

I'm in such

a lovely state!

Can one kiss

do all of this?

- Well, Dovitch, what do you think?
- They're all good models.

- What have you got in mind?
- A fantastic idea.

It staggers me that nobody's
ever thought of it before.

I'm going to select a girl
to be the QUALITY woman.

This one girl will represent
everything the magazine stands for.

It's a great gimmick.

Well, any one of these models
would be all right.

She's got to be more than all right.
She's got to have bozazz.

An entire collection
is going to be designed for her

by the greatest couturier in Paris.

- Paul Duval?
- Yes, Paul Duval.

And get this, he's going to let us
photograph the collection

before the opening.

We'll scoop every other magazine.

- It staggers you, doesn't it?
- I can't believe it.

Why, he would be barred from
Harper's Bazaar

and Vogue
and all the other fashion magazines!

Nonsense. If the project comes off,
we'll all be heroes.

Wait till you see what I've got!

The girl. The QUALITY woman.

- Oh, Marion.
- Oh, forget about Marion.

This is the other girl I'm talking about.

That thing from the bookshop?

Maggie, she's new. She's fresh.

You've gone out of your mind.

But one can't deny that she is unusual.
Who is she?

Don't even ask.
The thought of her makes me shudder.

Dreadful, dreadful girl.
Dick, if this is some sort of joke...

This is no joke.
If we do her over and fix her up,

she'd be great for us.

- She'd devour us all.
- Come on, Maggie.

Well, look at her.

I think her face is perfectly funny.

The QUALITY woman must have
grace, elegance and bozazz.

This is the first time
I've ever seen you lack imagination.

Every girl on every page of QUALITY
has grace, elegance and bozazz.

Now, what's wrong
with bringing out a girl

who has character, spirit
and intelligence?

That certainly would be novel
in a fashion magazine.

Sir, I owe you a drink.

Can you make me
some black-and-white enlargements?

- Yes.
- Use our darkroom.

- Let me study the possibilities.
- Now you are talking.

- I'm not promising anything!
- You don't have to.

Runs around here
like he owns the magazine.

Lettie, remember that creature
in the bookshop?

- Yes.
- Get her up here. Order some books.

Make it a large order
so she can't refuse.

- $50 worth?
- Yes, $50 worth, if necessary.

$50 to get her up here.

We'll have to drug her
to get her to Paris.

Miss Prescott, please.

I have a Modigliani,

- a Braque, a Hieronymus Bosch...
- Lettie, I think you'd better come out.

...and several other books she ordered.

Miss Prescott's secretary
will deal with you.

Oh, it's you. Well, come on in.

Come on.

The books are here.

Come on.

That will be $52.75
and $1.20 for the taxi.

$53.95.

Drop the books.

- Go on. Drop the books.
- On the floor?

Yes. Drop them.

Straighten up, shoulders back!

If you girls only knew
how important posture is.

Look, I didn't come here to enrol
in a military school.

All I want is $53.95.

The Modigliani is $12.50,
and the Braque

and the Hieronymus Bosch
come to $22.75,

$7.00 for the post-impressionists,

and $10.50 for the Egyptians,
Fourth to Seventh Dynasties,

make it a total of $52.75,
and it's $1.20 for the taxi.

- Talks incessantly.
- The body's good.

It'll be better
when we get through with it.

- Through with what?
- She might do.

Might do what?

The bones are good.

Suppose we just leave my bones alone

and give me my $53.95?

Girls, the eyebrows up, a light powder.
I want a little rouge right here.

She needs a marvellous mouth.

The hair, the hair, it's awful.
It must come off!

Would you mind telling me
what all this is about?

We may as well get started.
Babs, get that dreadful thing off of her.

Now, wait a minute! Just a minute!

Don't! Stop!

This is my second and last encounter
with you lunatics.

You just keep your hands off me,
all of you.

I come here to make a simple delivery,

and I find myself being
pillaged and plundered.

Well, I'll have no more of it!

I don't want my hair cut.
I don't want my eyebrows up or down.

I want them right where they are.

And I see no functional advantage
in a marvellous mouth.

I'm leaving now.

And if anyone so much
as makes a move to stop me,

there'll be plenty of hair cut,
and it won't be mine!

Bring her back here, girls. Alive!

Well, hurry up!

Come on. Hurry.

Where'd she go?

- Over here!
- For heaven's sake!

If we don't find her...

- We've got to find her, girls.
- Well, hurry up.

Hey! Didn't you see that light outside?

In desperation, one does not examine
one's avenue of escape.

It's you.

- I'm sorry if I spoiled a print.
- That's all right.

What's all the desperation about?

Those people, they don't care
about anyone's feelings.

Pulling my clothes and cutting my hair.

Dick, have you seen that girl?
Is she in there?

Please don't give me away.

Maybe you ought to
give them a chance to...

No. There was no one here
when I came in.

Well, if you see her, hang on to her.

I'll do that.

I'm afraid it's all my fault.
I thought you'd make a good model.

This is your idea?

Yeah. I'm the one you sue.

How could I be a model?

I have no illusions about my looks.
I think my face is funny.

That's what Maggie said.

I hate to admit it, but she's right.

But what you call funny,
I call interesting.

It's too ridiculous even to think about.

I couldn't do it.

Let me be the judge of that.

I wouldn't take you to Paris
if I didn't think you'd work out.

Paris?

Yeah. Look at it this way.

Modelling may not be
as bad as you think,

and if it is, at least you'll be in Paris.

And you can see your friend,
Professor Whoozis.

Flostre?

Yeah, you can talk to him
and go to his lectures.

That way, it won't be a total loss.

- A means to an end.
- Or a means to a beginning.

According to how it works out.

Now, let's see...

There we are.

- Oh, no.
- What's the matter?

How can you possibly
make a model out of that?

You can't be serious.

When I get through with you,
you'll look like...

What do you call beautiful?

A tree. You'll look like a tree.

Frankly, dear,
your modesty reveals to me

self-appraisal often makes us sad

And if I add your funny face
appeals to me

please don't think I've suddenly
gone mad

You have all the qualities of Peter Pan

I'd go far before I'd find a sweeter pan

I love your funny face

Your sunny, funny face

For you're a cutie

with more than beauty

You've got a lot

of personality for me

You fill the air with smiles

for miles and miles and miles

Though you're no Mona Lisa

For worlds I'd not replace

your sunny, funny face

I love your funny face

Your sunny, funny face

You're not exotic

but so hypnotic

You're much too much

lf you can cook the way you look

I'd swim the ocean wide

just to have you by my side

though you're no Queen of Sheba

For worlds I'd not replace

Your sunny

Funny face

Ladies, feast your eyes
on our QUALITY woman.

That's marvellous!

I love it!

I'm sorry about the trouble.
I didn't realise...

My dear, my dear,
let me do the apologising.

- I behaved abominably.
- She's agreed to go to Paris.

Not only agreed, she can hardly wait.

- Oh, marvellous!
- But I hope you understand

that this is not a loss of integrity.

It is purely a means to an end...

Well, there's no time for talking now.
You can tell us about it on the plane.

All right, girls.
We've got to get cracking!

To work and to Paris!

- Would you like a guided tour of Paris?
- No, no. No, we're not tourists.

Do we look like those people
who run around gaping all day?

I guess they can't understand
anyone coming to Paris to work.

My suggestion is that
we all go straight to our hotels

and get some rest.
I, for one, am exhausted.

I know just how you feel.

Well, I'm so tired it's an effort for me

- to say I'm so tired. Bye! I'll see you.
- Bye! I'll be in touch.

Bye!

I want to step out
down the Champs Élysées

From the Arch of Triumph
To the Petit Palais

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris!

I want to wander
through the Saint-Honoré

Do some window-shopping
in the Rue de la Paix

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris!

I want to see the den of thinking men
like Jean-Paul Sartre

I must philosophise with all the guys
around Montmartre and Montparnasse

I'm strictly tourist
but I couldn't care less

When they parlez-vous me,
then I gotta confess

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris!

Light up the Louvre Museum,
Jazz up the Latin Quarter

to show the richest and the poorest!

Here it comes,
the great American tourist!

This has got to be illegal
what I feel

It's too good to be true

All the things we can do

You do things to my point of view

We can show you the North
or we can show you the South

Then we can show you the West!

Come on and show me the best!

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris!

That's for me

Bonjour, Paris!

Living is easy, the living is high

All good Americans
should come here to die

Is it real? Am I here?

Am I here? Is it real?

There's something missing

There's something missing, I know

There's something missing,
something missing, I know

There's still one place I've got to go!

Oh, no.

- I thought that you were tired.
- You said you were tired.

- I heard you say that you...
- You told me you were tired.

- You said that you were so exhausted.
- You said you needed sleep.

- You told me that you had to rest.
- You said you ought to rest.

- I thought you wanted rest.
- Is this what you call rest?

I haven't time to rest.

This fussing and fretting
is getting my goat

Let's all let our hair down,
we're in the same boat

We're strictly tourist
you can titter and jeer

all we want to say is,
Lafayette, we are here

On a spree

Bonjour, Paris!

How was that?

Duval, please. I can't hear myself think,
and I'm trying to think in French.

Maggie!

I'm calling again.

Maggie, I should never
have agreed to design

an exclusive collection for you.

I am jeopardizing my position
with Harper's Bazaar and with Vogue,

and all for a girl who does not appear.

Duval, you're the most important
designer in Paris,

too important for jeopardy.

Now, relax. She will be here without fail.

You said she'd be here
at 10:00 this morning without fail.

It is now past 5:00.

- She's not at the hotel.
- Well, we must forget about this girl.

Impossible.
We've already started the campaign.

- There isn't time to get someone else.
- Well, where is she?

Maybe she's at the top
of the Eiffel Tower,

maybe she's at the bottom of the Seine.

Maybe she's lost in a traffic jam.

How should I know where she is?

Bonjour, Paris!

I'm throwing a little shindig to christen

the QUALITY woman,
and you're all invited.

Leave it to Dick to find
a delicatessen in Paris.

Look, imported all the way
from Napa Valley, California.

Melons from Florida.

Now, about the guest
of honour, where is she?

- How does she look?
- If she's here, she looks invisible.

- She didn't show?
- She did not show.

And these gentlemen are waiting
to do her face, her hair.

Duval needs measurements.
Where the devil is she?

I wouldn't like to swear in court,
but I have a pretty good idea.

How nice. Do keep it to yourself.
Don't let us in on it.

Don't worry. I'll have her here
tomorrow morning at 10:00, without fail.

In the meantime, be my guests.

Strike.

This must be the place!

Thank you.

- Monsieur, Gigi would like to dance.
- Who's Gigi?

- I am Gigi.
- Some other time, Gigi.

I just stopped by to pick up
the wife and kids.

All that is delicious is not nutritious.

Avaricious... Av...

- I feel a hostile vibration.
- That would be me. Sorry.

- Has he been that way long?
- Three hours.

It is the ultimate in concentration.

Feels so good when you stop.

There is no doubt in my mind
that in less than 10 years

people everywhere will come to know
that empathicalism,

and only empathicalism,
can bring peace.

Peace through understanding
is the only real...

Well, hello. How are you?

I'm just fine, thank you.
And how are you?

And how long have you been in Paris?

This is Mr Avery. These are my friends.

How do you do, boys? Hello.

Gentlemen, I wonder if you'd mind

if I had my own small conversation
with this lady?

- They don't understand English.
- You were talking English.

Yes, but it's a little hard to explain,

but, you see,
it's all part of empathicalism.

We don't have
to communicate with words.

They understand me
through the way I feel.

And the tone of my voice.

Sort of like a dog.

- Obviously, you don't understand.
- Who's buying the wine?

- I am.
- I understand more than you think.

If you're trying to tell me
that it's the wine...

Let me show you something.

Gentlemen, may I take this opportunity

to tell you that you look
like a mess of worms?

And that you not only look like
a mess of worms,

but you are a mess of worms.

And I'll bet you've been
sitting at this table all these years

because if you ever left it,

you'd be picked up
on a vagrancy charge.

Bravo!

The defence rests.

I don't think this is funny.
You don't belong here.

Neither do you.
Which brings us to why I'm here.

- You agreed...
- Monsieur, you dance with Mimi?

No, thanks. I'm busy.
Didn't Gigi tell you?

That's very rude,
refusing to dance with Mimi.

Where I come from,
the man asks the girl to dance.

You must come from the Stone Age.

We think freely here.

If a girl wants to dance
with a man, she asks him.

We're not inhibited
by outmoded social conventions.

I can see that.
Do you ask men to dance with you?

Isn't it time you realised
that dancing's nothing more

than a form of expression or release?

There's no need to be
formal or cute about it.

As a matter of fact,
I rather feel like expressing myself now,

and I could certainly use a release!

Well, you certainly made friends
and influenced people.

They're very understanding.
They're empathicalists.

Tell me something,
you talk an awful lot about this empathy.

Do you ever do anything
about it yourself?

I don't know what you mean.

How about throwing
a little empathy my way?

I still don't know what you mean.

Now, how do you think I feel
when you don't show up for the job?

I'm responsible for you.
Any good empathicalist

ought to feel me standing in line
for unemployment insurance.

Show up where?

Well, they've been waiting for you
at Duval's all day.

I had no idea. Nobody told me.

We've been calling you
on the telephone for hours.

I've been at the cafe all day.
I'm terribly sorry.

Now, I don't want to sound like
the head of the personnel department,

but you ought to be getting to bed early.

You know,
the camera picks up everything.

I don't want to spend my entire life
retouching your pictures.

When we're finished,
you can spend all your time

at the cafe making small talk.

Small talk?

I suppose you think
the neckline of a dress

makes for world-shaking conversation.

Anything you don't understand
you call small talk.

- What did you think of Flostre?
- Don't change the subject.

It's the same subject.

I haven't met Flostre.

You haven't?

By now, I thought you two
would be buddies.

Well, you don't find Flostre in cafes,
except on special occasions.

Not everyone interested
in empathicalism

gets to meet the professor
any more than every American

gets to meet the President.

An invitation to Flostre's home
is a great honour.

And as hard an invitation
to get as an invitation to...

The White House.

I don't think jokes about
Professor Flostre are funny.

All right. No more jokes.
But let's be friendly.

We have to work together, you know.

You don't have to be friendly
to work together.

Acquainted will do.

Am I supposed to go
over to Duval's now?

I said you'd be there
at 10:30 in the morning.

- I'll be there.
- Promise?

I said I'd be there, and I will.

- All right.
- This is where I get off. Good night.

Well, wait a minute. Don't go away mad.

Can't we take a walk around the block
and get friendly

or better acquainted or something?

No, thanks. I've got to go to bed.

I don't want you to spend your entire life
retouching my pictures.

You are mad, aren't you?

No, I'm not mad. I...

I'm hurt and disappointed and...

And mad.

I didn't mean to start any scene
to make you sigh

Hope to die

It's most immoral for us to quarrel

Why can't we both agree?

Don't you know Ben Franklin wrote
about this thing at length?

On the proposition that
in union there is strength

Why raise a storm up
if we'll just warm up?

We'll be much stronger
and live much longer

Let's kiss and make up
Come on, let's wake up

For I need you and you need me

Let's kiss and make up
No use to break up

when we can work in harmony

I'll give you your way,
you'll give me my way

And out the doorway
our cares will fly away

If we'd be happy, the way is clear

Let's kiss and make up
no use to break up

We need each other, dear

What are they doing?
They've been in there for hours.

There was a lot to be done.

- They don't look happy.
- They don't look unhappy.

- I can't tell. Do they look pleased?
- They don't look displeased.

- Everyone!
- Maybe this is the grand finale.

- I'm getting nervous.
- You should.

Sit down.

My friends, you saw enter here a waif,
a gamine, a lowly caterpillar.

We open the cocoon,
but it is not a butterfly that emerges.

- It's not?
- No. It is a bird of paradise.

Lights!

Curtain!

Beautiful! I don't believe it!

Maggie, what did I tell you?
You look absolutely fabulous.

- How does it feel?
- It feels wonderful, but it's not me.

The hair, the dress, it's perfection!

You see how much we accomplish
when you appear?

- Now do try to stay with us for a while.
- I will. I'm sorry...

Now, Duval shows the collection
on Friday.

The night before, I'm giving a party
to introduce you to the press.

It is your great opportunity.
It will be your evening.

- You will be there, won't you?
- Yes, of course.

Now, Dick, that gives you a week
to photograph her in the collection.

I want marvellous pictures!
Give me a lot of bozazz!

Now, take her with my blessings,

and whatever you do,
don't let her out of your sight.

Now just do what I tell you,
and don't worry about it.

Now, here.
Now, hold these balloons high in the air.

And when I say, "Run,"
run as fast as you can

and don't let the balloons go.

Run as fast as I can
and don't let the balloons go.

Right. Now, ready?

Head up a little.
You're so happy. All right?

Run! Run!

What? Why did I ever...

- What's the matter?
- I don't know which way to go.

Well, that way!

I'm sorry. I'm terribly nervous.
I've never done anything like this.

There's nothing to be nervous about.
You're going to be great.

Now, listen closely,
you're in Paris, in the Tuileries,

you've got balloons,
there's a sudden shower,

and you're very, very happy.

- Why am I so happy?
- Because I say you are.

That's all you have to know.
You're happy. Now, run!

Great! That's great! Now, stop!

Wonderful!

Now, listen closely.

- Today you're not happy.
- I'm hurt and...

Right. Now you're a creature of tragedy,
heartbroken, suffering.

You're Anna Karenina.

- Shall I throw myself under the train?
- We'll see.

But for now, just wonderful,
noble self-sacrifice.

Now,
your lover has just kissed you goodbye.

You may never know that kiss again.
You may never know love again.

Marcel, make her look sad.
Put some tears in her eyes.

There are tears in her eyes.

Good. You're not only a model,
you're an actress.

Now, Jo, give me the works.

Heartbreak, longing, tragedy.

Wet your lips.

Good. All right now.

That's great. Just like the movie.

Poor Anna Karenina.

No, no! Not too much steam!
Cut down the steam.

That's wonderful. That's it.

That's good.
Now give her some flowers.

Flowers. Arms full! All right, more.

More, more, more.

All right, Jo. It's spring. You're in love.
Now, turn around.

Fabulous!

Now, you're walking out on the opera.

You're leaving to the lush,
passionate music

of Tristan und Isolde,
and you're very unhappy.

- What happened now?
- A rendezvous at the opera, two seats.

He didn't show up. You're furious.

Now, when I say, "Go,"
walk down with fire in your eyes

and murder on your mind.

Wet your lips.

You're Isolde. You're a queen.

Now, go, go, go!

You're furious at Tristan.

That's great!

Now, today you're just
a simple, little girl.

You live on the Seine River,

and you're trying to catch a fish
for your lunch.

Come on, Jo, fish!

- I want you to look like you're fishing.
- I'm trying, but I've never fished before.

That's quite obvious.
You might just as well be flying a kite.

Don't look like such an amateur.
You're just not fishing!

I am, but it's caught on something.

Well, give it a yank.

Pretend you've caught a fish. Pull it out!

Marvellous!

All right, Jo,
now here's what I want you to be.

I know. I'm a princess at a ball.

And the bird is really Prince Charming
turned into a bird by a wicked sorcerer,

but we've decided not
to let it spoil the ball

and to go right on dancing
as if nothing had happened.

You've outgrown me.

All right. Now give him a kiss.

He's your prince charming, isn't he?
Well, get happy.

That's a killer!

All right, Marcel, lights!

Jo! Jo! Where are you?

Tell me when you're ready. Say, "Go."

I'm ready. What are you going to do?

Never mind what I'm going to do.
Just say, "Go."

All right. Go!

Holy Moses! You look fabulous!

Stop.

Stop!

I can't stop. Take the picture.

- Stop!
- I don't want to stop. I like it.

Take the picture. Take the picture!

All right. Now this is your wedding day,
the happiest day of your life.

Bells are ringing,
flowers blooming, angels singing.

The man you love
more than anyone else in the world

is inside the church waiting for you.

What's the matter?

I just feel so dishonest
standing here in this wedding dress.

It's not the happiest day of my life,

and there's no one
waiting for me anywhere.

But you weren't really Anna Karenina,

and the bird wasn't really
Prince Charming.

Please, Dick.

- I don't understand.
- Yes, I know.

Afraid you got us wrong, Padre.
We're not here to be married.

- Such a beautiful bride.
- This is not my dress.

We're here to take some pictures.

I'm sorry. Perhaps we should've asked
for permission first.

No wedding?

Jo?

I'm terribly sorry.
I don't know what's the matter with me.

Well, forget it and relax a while.
We've been working too hard.

I suppose we'll be going home soon,
won't we?

That's it. You're probably homesick.

Well, there's just this last picture,
and then you'll be through.

- And then what happens?
- We go home.

And then?

- What do you mean?
- Will I see you any more?

And how!

If you'll model, I can get you
all the bookings you can handle,

and then, well,
we'll be working together every day.

I'll model.

Good. We'll put you to work right now.

Stand over here, will you, please?
That's a good place. Fine.

Lovely.

Now, tip your head this way
just a little bit.

Good. Now, a little smile.

Jo.

Yes?

Something is wrong.

No. Why?

You're the saddest-looking
bride I've ever seen.

You look as if you've been jilted.

This is your wedding day.

It's the day you've been
dreaming of all your life.

You're going to marry the man you love,
the man who loves you.

He's the only...

And you're...

Oh, Dick,
I thought it would never happen.

I never want to go home.

I love Paris, and I love these clothes
and the little church,

and I love you.

What did you say?

I love Paris.

That's not what I heard.

My, my, my.

Well, what do you know?

He loves

And she loves

And they love

So why can't you love

and I love too?

Birds love

And bees love

And whispering trees love

And that's what we both should do

I always knew someday

You'd come along

We'll make a twosome

That just can't go wrong

Darling

He loves

And she loves

And they love

So won't you love me

as I love you?

All right, Armande,
let me see a breeze in the trees.

Not too much. I don't want a cyclone.

Fountain.

It's thrilling!

It makes me cry for the Carolines.

Correspondent from Pakistan
has just accepted.

The correspondent from Madrid

finds that he will be able
to make it after all.

And the man from the Istanbul press

will be late
but on time for the presentation.

Good. Now, where on earth is Jo?

Here she is.

Thank heavens.
I thought you might stand us up again.

- How did the wedding pictures go?
- Wonderfully.

Yes. He's a marvellous photographer.
Now come along.

All you have to do is sit there.

I make my speech to the press,

the curtains will open,
and you dazzle them.

- Give them the old bozazz.
- I'll try.

Afterward,
I will introduce you to them personally.

Just be charming
and answer all of their questions.

- Well, what sort of questions?
- It's remarkably simple.

I've been writing editorials
on the subject for years.

As one lady to another... But I think first

we ought to look like
one lady to another.

Now, they'll want to know
who does your hair,

what you eat, what you drink,
what kind of sheets you sleep on.

You will be an authority
on how to be lovely.

- What am I going to tell them?
- Just listen and repeat after me.

On how to be lovely

You got to be happy

When you can feel light and gay

Then you'll be lovely as a holiday

On how to be charming

You got to be merry

If only to weave a spell

And you'll be lovely as a carousel too

I know you can show how

It's all in the know-how

And once you know oh how

The world looks good to you,
as it should to you

On how to be lovely

You got to be jolly

When you can be fancy-free

And flash a smile that
folks come flocking to see

You'll be as lovely as can be

Can't do it with make-up

You've just got to wake up

And starting to take up

A life delirious, nothing serious

On how to be lovely

You got to be cheery

I'll give you a guarantee,
you don't need dough

You don't need a college degree

Make sorrow incidental

Let joy be monumental

And you'll be lovely

You'll be as lovely as can be

Oh, beautiful.

Beautiful!

These are not my clothes.

They were lent to me for tonight.
I'm being presented to the press.

Your picture
will be in all the newspapers, huh?

Oh, yes,
and they'll ask me all sorts of questions.

I think perhaps you had better
stay here with me, huh?

Hello.

Don't you remember me? Jo Stockton.

What did they say?

What were they saying about Flostre?

They said that he is speaking
at the cafe and that they are late.

Mr Avery will be by in five minutes.

Would you ask him to
pick me up at the cafe?

- Terribly sorry. I...
- Quite all right, Mademoiselle.

You're quite welcome.

Now, Mademoiselle.

I can't believe it. I thought you'd be old.

Well, I mean,
a philosopher and professor,

it all suggests age... I mean, maturity.

Well, I'm afraid I've disappointed you.

Not at all. There's no reason

why someone brilliant
shouldn't be young.

I find myself
at an awkward disadvantage.

You know who I am...

But except you are very charming,
I don't know you.

I'm so excited about meeting you,
I quite forgot to introduce myself.

If only you knew
how anxious I am to talk to you.

I came all the way from New York
just to see you,

and you couldn't have a more
loyal disciple of empathicalism than I.

Than whom?

I'm sorry. I'm Jo Stockton.

I'm enchanted, Miss Stockton.

And since you've come
such a long way to talk with me,

by all means, let us talk.

- There is so much you could teach us.
- I may go next year and lecture.

And you must see Greenwich Village.
It's our Left Bank.

People there think
and do things, useful things.

- Do you live in Greenwich Village?
- Of course.

Then I will certainly come.

Perhaps we can do
useful things together.

I'm sure that in all America

there's no empathicalist
as charming as you.

Well, now, I hate to throw
a little, old wet blanket...

Darling, guess who this is.
You'll never guess.

- Your brother?
- Professor Flostre.

This is Dick Avery.

- Professor.
- How do you do?

How do you do? I thought you'd be old.

- So did I. Aren't you surprised?
- I'm overcome.

For you, my dear,
I promise never to grow old.

- Come on, Jo.
- What's the matter?

We've got to get over to Duval's
right away.

- But I...
- Must you go so soon?

I was just beginning to know you.

Couldn't I just stay a little longer?
Professor Flostre wants to talk to me.

He won't say anything
you haven't heard before.

- Dick, have you gone out of your mind?
- We'll talk about that later.

What do you think you're doing?

I've never been so humiliated
in all my life.

What's gotten into you?

Have you any idea how stupid...

How could you be so rude,

embarrassing me in front
of Professor Flostre?

What am I going to tell him?

You're not gonna tell him anything.

You're never gonna see that guy again.

- Not going to see him again?
- That's what I said.

Now, just a moment.

I went through all this nonsense
so that I could meet this man.

So I could talk to him.

I worship everything
he stands for, the way he thinks.

You might as well tell me
never to eat again.

Maggie, the man from
the Herald Tribune

has brought a correspondent
from Sweden.

- Good. The more, the merrier.
- They are here, Miss Prescott.

Get them quiet, Duval.

- I'll be right back.
- Certainly.

When a man looks at a woman
the way Flostre looks at you,

it doesn't take any imagination
on my part.

- Now do try to put it on every...
- I hope you realise...

...understand what I'm talking about.
- Now don't be frightened...

If you weren't so deadly serious
about all this,

it would be terribly funny.

Quiet. Now I'm just going to go check
the lights.

Then I make my speech.
Everybody ready.

Now, look, Flostre may be the Quiz Kid
of the century.

He may be the greatest
philosopher since Aristotle,

but he's also a man.

And I'm telling you
he's more man than philosopher.

Are you suggesting that
Flostre's interest in me

is anything but intellectual?

He's about as interested
in your intellect as I am.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
my friends,

I have asked you here
tonight to meet the woman

selected to represent

the most discriminating
publication in the world,

QUALITY.

Let's forget it
and get this thing over with.

Forget it?

When you attack Flostre,
you attack my principles

and the things I believe in.

We're very fortunate to have
found out these things now.

I'm certain you will not be disappointed,
for she is a rare creature...

Chosen from hundreds
for her appearance,

her grace, her poise
and her ineffable charm.

Don't you see we can never
reconcile our differences?

They're too basic and too elementary.

This is not the time or place
to discuss our differences.

Now, please, just let's get this show on.

Yes, let's get the show on.

Our personal lives couldn't matter less,
could they?

- Will you please sit down?
- Leave me alone!

Oh, no!

May I present the QUALITY woman!

What does that one say?

All of them, they say the same thing.
Everyone in Paris is laughing.

- I'm not.
- I should think you wouldn't be.

This is all your fault.

I know. I said some things last night
I shouldn't have said and she got upset.

It was just a lovers' quarrel.

A what?

- You mean you and that girl?
- Why not?

It's impossible!
You belong to the fashion world.

Face it, we're a cold lot, artificial,
and totally lacking in sentiment,

so how can you possibly be in love?

- I'm a black sheep.
- Well, what about me?

What about my collection?
If she doesn't come tonight,

- I cannot show it.
- The gowns that were sewn on her.

I'm facing ruin.

Don't worry, Duval. She'll show up.
The girl has integrity.

Oh, she's just filled
with virtues, isn't she?

Only, she's not wasting
any of them on us.

I went down to the cafe,
but she isn't there.

Never mind where she isn't.
Tell us where she is.

Well, she's at her hotel, all right,
but she just won't take any messages.

So I bribed the clerk at the desk

into letting me copy down
her phone messages

so we'd know what she's up to.

Let me see.

"At 10: 15, Dick Avery called."

"At 11:30, Dick Avery called."

"At 12: 16, Professor Flostre called."

That lousy, rotten, good-for-nothing...

"Having an evening
of international philosophy,

"poetry, song, and meditation
tonight at my salon.

"Would be delighted
if you would join us. Emile Flostre."

Well, obviously that's where
she'll be tonight.

And not here showing my collection?

- I'm ruined! Finished!
- Now sit tight, Duval.

I'll go to Flostre's tonight
and bring her back.

You'd better take someone along

who isn't emotionally involved,
for instance, me.

But you'd never get into Flostre's.

Those empathicalists
have a very firm way

of dealing with what they call,

"Hostile vibrations."

Well, what say we turn into
a couple of friendly vibrations?

- Just until we get in.
- What do you mean?

You know the old saying.
If you can't lick 'em, join 'em.

- Well, how do I look? Grubby enough?
- Yeah. How's the beard?

- Full of bozazz.
- Come on.

Monsieur and
Madame Barker de Florida.

- Florida.
- That's us. De Tallahassee.

- Come on, sugar.
- All right, darling.

I don't know. I just asked.

- What's the matter?
- The song, it's a bundle of laughs.

She stabbed her lover
because she hated him.

Now that the poor thing's dead...

Now that he's dead she loves him.

This kid's a little confused.

Now she's gonna get even.

She's gonna kill herself.

- You can say that again.
- Hey.

Ook-lay up the air-stay.

We're on the wrong floor.

The real Barkers.

Now, what's this all about?

- They are not from Tallahassee.
- Well, they ain't even from Miami.

I've never seen
these people in Tallahassee,

and I have been
in every corner of Tallahassee.

- Is this some sort of a gag?
- I know who he is,

il est un photographer
de fashion, sugar.

Fashion!

She's the editor of a fashion magazine.

Get them out of here.

At once, sugar,
or Mr Flostre's gonna hear about this.

Now, wait a minute.
We're spiritual singers

here in Paris on a tour...

Now that the hostile
vibrations are gone, shall we climb?

We are ready for your show.

Command performance.

- Come on, mama. We're on.
- Let's give them the old bozazz.

Ring-a them bells

We is gwy-in don't know where-a

All we know is it's up there-a

Somehow we got to climb that stair-a

Ring-a them, ring-a them bells

Come all, you chil'en,
and gather around

Gather around, you chil'en!
And we will lose

that evil spirit called voodoo

Nothing but trouble if he's found you

If he has found you, chil'en

But you can chase that hoodoo
with the dance that you do

Let us lead the way

Jubilee today

He'll never hound you

Step on the ground, you chil'en!

Clap yo hands, slap yo thighs

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Everybody come along
and join the jubilee!

Clap yo hands, slap yo thighs

Don't you lose time, don't you lose time

Come along and shake your shoes

Time now for you and me

On the sands of time
you're only a pebble

Remember trouble
must be treatedjust like a rebel

Send it to the devil!

Clap yo hands, slap yo thighs

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Everybody come along
and join the jubilee!

So ring-a them bells

Ring-a them bells out

Ring-a them, ring-a them,
ring-a them, ring-a them bells!

Well, Mr Tallahassee, how we doing?

Why,
we's the two most friendly vibrations

you ever seen.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle.

The dish ran away with the spoon.

Mrs Tallahassee, do you know why
a chicken crosses the road?

No. Why does a chicken
cross the road?

Why, to get to the second floor, woman.

Oh, man, you is a genius.

Roses are red, the violets are blue

The dresses is got to be showed
so let's get this show on the road!

Clap-a your hand, slap-a your thigh

Gimme that beat, boy,
beat, boy, beat, boy

Gimme that, gimme that,
gimme that, gimme that

Crazy knocked out beat!

You got to...

lf you wanna get to the promised land,
you got to clap yo hands

Clap yo hands, slap yo thighs

Gimme some heat, man,
heat man heat, man

Gimme some, gimme some,
Gimme some, gimme some

Dixieland beat!

When you hear that Dixieland,
you got to clap yo hands

Clap yo hands

Hallelujah! Hallelu, hallelu

Hallelujah!

Come along and join the jubilee!

...the intellectual gratification
is comparatively nonexistent.

Only you can fulfil
the intellectual potential...

This is it.

...that is so sorely lacking
in our country.

Flostre, there you are.

- Professor, we need you.
- What are you doing here?

- You look ridiculous.
- We've come to see Flostre.

Professor, we need your help.
Maggie and I need guidance.

We realised what futile
and aimless lives we lead.

When did you realise this?

- Today. It was about 2:00, wasn't it?
- It was after lunch, I know.

Professor,
you're not going to believe them.

We want to sit at your feet and learn.

We have so much to learn.

We sit at your feet
humble and ignorant but so willing.

Look, you two just leave his feet alone.

Professor, can't you see
they're trying to make a fool of you?

Are you trying to make a fool
out of Flostre?

Who, me?

You're making things
very difficult for us.

- After all, you don't own empathicalism.
- It's in public domain, isn't it?

- As far as I know.
- Why don't you trust these people?

Because I know them, I know them well,
and I know what they're here for,

and believe me, it is not guidance.

Don't listen to her, master.
She is but a child.

They came here to see me, not you.

They're trying to get me over to Duval's
to model their collection.

I should've known.

You should've heard
what he said about you last night.

Same thing goes for tonight.

If we'd have come a few minutes later,
you'd have found out for yourself.

You've done enough talking, Mr Avery.

Not yet. I haven't told you
what a phoney you are.

- Get out of my house.
- I'm not ready to leave.

I think I can change your mind for you.

Catch.

Oh, no! Look what you've done,
bursting in here like a hoodlum.

- I never touched him.
- Go away!

It's about time you're waking up
to some of your responsibilities.

Will you please leave?

You know Duval can't show
his collection without you.

Regardless of what you feel about me,
you can't do this to him

- and all those other people involved.
- Hundreds of people.

I'm no more interested in your people
than you are in mine.

Your empathy is a little
one-sided for me, baby.

Get out!

All right!

I assume you mean me, too.

On you it looks cute, sugar.

Well, you certainly fixed everything.

If you can't lick 'em, join 'em,
and if you can't join 'em, lick 'em.

- Tell Duval I'm sorry. We tried.
- Where are you going?

There's a plane going
to New York tonight at 10:30,

and I'm going with it.

You can't do this to me.
Come back here.

How dare you leave me
in the street like this!

Taxi!

- Have they gone?
- They've gone.

- And you're still here?
- I'm still here. Are you all right?

Well...

In fact, I feel wonderful.

I can't tell you how sorry I am.

I had no idea they were coming,
and I can't think what got into Dick.

My dear, you mustn't assume guilt
for something that was unavoidable.

They have gone, we are here,

and that's all that matters now.

Well, that's very nice of you to say that,
but of course, if it hadn't been for me...

You have the most penetrating eyes.

I can still see them when I close mine.

- Professor...
- Call me Emile.

Do you think there
would there be any value

in my contacting philosophers
in cities like Omaha and Detroit

and acquainting them
with empathicalism?

Your mouth suggests to me
burgundy velvet.

Dr Post, who runs the shop I worked in,
has contacts in several universities.

Please...

- Don't say another word.
- But I came here to talk.

We'll talk...

Later.

- Then why don't I come back later?
- But I need you now.

Professor Flostre,
I came here to talk with a philosopher.

You're talking like a man.

But I am a man, and you're a woman.

But that's not what I came here
to talk about.

My dear...

There is a magical moment
waiting for us.

- Don't come any closer.
- Why are you behaving like this?

I thought you said
you come from Greenwich Village.

Yes, well, I'm moving uptown, Yonkers.

But before you move...

I cannot keep them waiting any longer.
I must make an announcement.

- What shall I say?
- Tell them it was all my fault.

Maggie, where's Dick?
I've got to see him.

You told him to get out, and he got out.

He's going back to New York,
tonight, on the 10:30 plane.

Oh, no, he mustn't.

I knew that you would not let us down.
I knew that you would come.

You've got to stay here
and do the collection.

Later. I've got to get to Dick.

Later? We are so late already.

- Look, I want to help you, and I will.
- Please.

I know how you feel.

I'm sure you think that I don't,
but believe me, I do.

I can put myself in your place.

Maggie, that's empathy.

Good heavens! So that's
what you've been talking about.

Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Now, you get to work on the collection,

and I'll take care of Dick. Leave it to me.
You get ready.

Lettie, what is the name
of Dick Avery's hotel?

- The Savoyarde.
- Get me the number.

- Yes.
- He must still be packing.

Quick, Armande. We can begin.

We are proud to bring you
a new collection by Paul Duval,

inspired by the QUALITY woman,
chosen to represent

the great American
fashion magazine, QUALITY.

We begin with...

- Your bill is ready.
- I know... 352,428 francs.

- Come back soon.
- Thank you.

He doesn't answer, Madame.
I will give you the desk.

Hello? MonsieurAvery? He just left.

Well, run out and get him! It's urgent!

I'm so sorry. It was too late.

- Did you get him?
- He just left the hotel.

But there's nothing to worry about,

- we'll get him at the airport.
- Please, hurry.

- I can't find the number.
- How are you spelling it?

- A-U-L-Y.
- Orly. O-R-L-Y.

- You were there, remember?
- Of course. I'm just so nervous.

- Are you ready, dear?
- Just about.

I'm ready.

You can board your plane now,
Monsieur.

- Pleasant flight.
- Thank you.

Maggie, is there any news?

He'll call, dear.
They gave me their word

they would get my message to him
before he got on the plane.

- It's too late.
- That clock must be fast.

He just hasn't gotten the message yet.

I'm sure he got it.
He didn't want to talk to me.

I don't blame him. I hurt him too much.

Now, the finale of the collection.
Wedding day.

- What a beautiful bride.
- Yes...

Pity it isn't her wedding.

Professor...

Keep away from me.

If you lay one finger on me,
I will report it to your embassy.

I want to apologise.
I didn't mean to hurt you.

She wasn't worth fighting about.

Don't tell me I did that to you.

You?
You didn't even give me a headache.

She did this to me.

- With a statue that cost 200,000 francs.
- She did that?

- I have 18 stitches in my head.
- She gave you 18 stitches?

- And a gashed lip.
- And a gashed lip?

And 6 stitches in my ear.

Professor,
I love every broken bone in your body.

Excuse me, Duval. Where is she?

- Who?
- Jo.

Oh, she was magnificent.
You should have seen her.

- Where is she?
- I don't know. She was here.

Lettie, have you seen Jo?

- No, I... Oh, Dick, she was just great.
- Yeah, yeah.

Maggie, where's Jo?
Have you seen her?

She was here a little while ago,
but she's disappeared.

Did she say where was she going?

Wait a minute.
I understand the whole thing.

She put herself in your place.

All you have to do
is put yourself in her place,

and the two of you are bound
to run into each other

in somebody's place.

That's it. That's it.

- Maggie, you ought to be president.
- I thought I was.

I love your funny face

Your sunny, funny...

'S wonderful

'S marvellous

That you should care for me

'S awful nice

'S paradise

'S what I love to see

You've made my life so glamorous

You can't blame me for feeling amorous

Oh, 's wonderful

'S marvellous

That you should care for me