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1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,439
Look at him. Breaks my heart.
2
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,376
Poor little guy,
all alone.
3
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,477
I don't see why
4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,612
his brother can't
sit with him.
Come on, Mary.
5
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,281
When you were in high school,
would you have lunch
6
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,615
with a nine-year-old?
Yes, I would've.
7
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,284
Well, there's something
wrong with you.
8
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,252
I'm gonna keep him company.
9
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,553
Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary.
10
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,090
Think this through.
Right now the kids
11
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,124
are just ignoring Sheldon.
12
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,459
What happens if he's
sitting with his mommy?
13
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:29,230
They could mistake me
for a senior.
14
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,399
Well, I look younger than you.
15
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,833
Just give this time, all right?
16
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,802
It'll work itself out.
(sighs)
17
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,771
ADULT SHELDON:
My mother never understood
18
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,474
that I actually enjoyed
being alone.
19
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:43,844
Solitude allowed me to think
about important things,
20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,415
like the effect
of gravitational forces
21
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,750
as you approach
an event horizon,
22
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,585
as opposed
to less important things,
23
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:55,356
like how many grapes my brother
can fit in his mouth.
24
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,590
(muffled):
14!
25
00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,592
Yeah!
(laughter)
26
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,594
ADULT SHELDON:
Jean-Paul Sartre said,
27
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,131
"Hell is other people."
28
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,232
(laughs)
29
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:07,868
That's humorous
because it's true.
30
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,172
* Nobody else
is stronger than I am *
31
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,674
* Yesterday I moved a mountain
32
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,477
* I bet I could be your hero
33
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,380
* I am a mighty little man
34
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:23,151
* I am a mighty little man. *
35
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,892
(sighs)
36
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,461
Something wrong?
37
00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,164
How come math is easy
for Sheldon
38
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,331
and hard for me?
39
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,466
I don't know, honey,
40
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,268
but you have your own gifts.
41
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,869
Like what?
42
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,505
Well, like...
43
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:49,177
...you have very pretty hair.
44
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,179
True.
45
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,482
Georgie.
46
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,484
Would you do me
a little tiny favor?
47
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,818
Like what?
48
00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,353
Tomorrow at lunch,
would you mind
49
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,488
sitting with your brother?
50
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:01,622
Don't do it, Georgie.
51
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,191
You stay out of this.
52
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,625
I ate with him in second grade.
53
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,660
It really hurt my social life.
54
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:09,430
(sighs)
Sorry, Mom. Can't do it.
55
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,733
Why are you such a brat?
56
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,269
Maybe I'm crying for attention.
57
00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,671
This isn't a joke, young lady.
58
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,740
Yes, your brother
may be smart,
59
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:22,576
but he doesn't have
a friend in the world.
60
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:26,514
And I am sorry,
but I am very worried about him.
61
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,321
Nice going. You're making Mom
a nervous wreck.
62
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,256
What did I do?
63
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,658
You don't have any friends,
and she is beside herself.
64
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,393
But I'm fine without friends.
65
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,761
I don't know what to
tell you, Sheldon.
66
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,663
She said it's your fault.
67
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,865
I'm going to watch ALF.
68
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,501
ADULT SHELDON:
Science fact:
69
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,437
sisters are the worst.
(door closes)
70
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,344
ADULT SHELDON:
When you're three foot ten
71
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,411
and in high school,
72
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,946
getting from point "A"
73
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,615
to point "B" can be
a harrowing experience.
74
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,816
* Oh, yeah
75
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,718
* We are the youth gone wild *
76
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,887
* Whoa
77
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,457
* Whoa... *
78
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,559
ADULT SHELDON: But it's worth it
when point "B" is...
79
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,362
(exhales)
80
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,398
...the library.
81
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,700
Home to the original
information superhighway,
82
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,669
the Dewey Decimal System.
83
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,337
MS. HUTCHINS:
Hey there, Sheldon.
84
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,439
What can I get for you today?
85
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,774
Chemistry?
86
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,009
Quantum mechanics? Astronomy?
87
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,678
No, nothing fun today.
88
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,813
I need to learn
how to make a friend.
89
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,448
Aw, honey,
you having a hard time
90
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,816
adjusting to high school?
91
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,586
I'm having a hard time
adjusting to Earth.
92
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,721
Yeah. You and me both.
93
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,025
Try this.
94
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,329
It's been around a while,
but it's still quite popular.
95
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,464
Unlike me,
96
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,633
who's just been around a while.
97
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,737
"How to Win Friends
98
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,972
and Influence People."
99
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,341
This might do it.
100
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,776
"Principle one.
101
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,314
Don't criticize,
condemn or complain."
102
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,416
ADULT SHELDON:
The three sharpest arrows
103
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,418
in my quiver.
104
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,486
Thus began
the greatest challenge
105
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,887
of my young life.
106
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,489
Hello, George.
107
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,890
What?
108
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,960
I do admire
your thick head of hair...
109
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,429
George.
110
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,031
Thanks.
111
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,132
What's going on?
112
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,068
Well, I'm practicing
the principles in this book.
113
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,638
Why?
Well, I know Mom is concerned
114
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,640
that I don't have any friends,
115
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,409
so I'm determined
to remedy the situation.
116
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,810
Oh.
117
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,078
George.
118
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,614
Well, good for you.
119
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:41,782
Do you feel complimented
120
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,751
when I say your name, George?
121
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,387
The book says you should.
George.
122
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,655
I suppose.
123
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,657
Kind of overdoing it a little.
124
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,659
Sheldon.
Well, thank you
125
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,327
for your criticism.
126
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,662
It also says I should praise
127
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,830
any improvements
that you've made.
128
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,833
Okay.
129
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,903
I'll get back to you.
130
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,842
George.
131
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,378
ADULT SHELDON:
On the heels
132
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,579
of that successful beta test,
133
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,382
I decided to practice
the Carnegie principles
134
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,484
on someone my own age.
135
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,552
* Hey.
136
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,021
Hello, Billy Sparks.
Hey, Sheldon.
137
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,391
I am genuinely interested
in you
138
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,394
and would like to encourage you
to talk about yourself.
139
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,895
Billy Sparks.
140
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,329
Thank you.
141
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,137
You have the floor.
142
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,006
Thank you.
143
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,877
ADULT SHELDON: Looking back,
I would've had better luck
144
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,813
making friends
with the chickens.
145
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,515
(bell rings)
Go Wolves.
146
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,749
What?
147
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,751
You're a cheerleader,
and by saying
148
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,020
"Go Wolves,"
I'm initiating a conversation
149
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,722
about something
that interests you.
150
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:58,492
Oh, are you
one of those special ed kids?
151
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,394
My mom says I'm special.
152
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,129
Would you like to be friends?
153
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,131
I don't think so.
154
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,966
Are you sure?
What if I told you
155
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,502
I admired
your boldly-applied makeup?
156
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,638
* Oh!
157
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,978
SHELDON:
Greetings from stall number one.
158
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,548
As much as I detest
that odd-smelling cigarette,
159
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,782
I do applaud
160
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,917
your rule-breaking
bravado.
161
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,020
My name is Sheldon.
What's yours?
162
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,456
(door closes)
163
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,990
Hello, gentlemen.
164
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:34,628
Did you watch any sports
programs over the weekend?
165
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,096
* That's what I like about... *
166
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:40,734
Or perhaps did some kissing
with girls?
167
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,170
* That's what I like
about you... *
168
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,038
Can you hear me?
169
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,173
* Hey! Hey!
170
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:49,543
* Hey!
MISSY:
95, 96, 97.
171
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,911
98.
172
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,781
99, 100.
173
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,783
You missed 11 numbers.
I don't need
174
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,185
to be good at math.
I have beautiful hair.
175
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,788
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.
176
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,956
Didn't you already
read that book?
177
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,792
I'm reading it again.
178
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,059
How come?
179
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,961
I clearly missed something.
180
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,998
I couldn't find one person
who wanted to be my friend.
181
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,100
Did you look at
the card inside?
182
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,668
Why?
183
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,137
That's just other people
who checked out the book.
184
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,674
It's a list of losers like you
who can't find a friend.
185
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,142
So?
186
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,678
So they're desperate,
and you have their names.
187
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:27,948
That's brilliant.
188
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,750
Mm.
189
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,185
Now, how is it
that you can't count?
190
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,426
* Well, can't you see her
standing there? *
191
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,130
So your father tells me
you've been reading a new book?
192
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,165
I am. It's about
how to make friends.
193
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,968
Is that something
you're interested in?
194
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,170
Not really, but Missy told me
195
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,640
it makes you sad
that I don't have any.
196
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,107
Oh.
197
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,744
I got to sew
that girl's mouth shut.
198
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,846
So how's it going?
199
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,982
Well, the principles in the book
didn't work for me at all.
200
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,117
Although Dad does like
being called George
201
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,987
over and over again,
so you might give that a try.
202
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,990
Baby, you don't have
to go to any trouble for me.
203
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,825
But I like
doing things for you.
204
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,260
You're a nice lady.
205
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,863
But if the book's
not working...
It isn't.
206
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,599
But I realized
if I find the other people
207
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,669
who checked out the book, they'd
be looking for friends, too.
208
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,771
That's really smart.
209
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,139
Missy thought of it.
You're kidding.
210
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,742
I'm as surprised
as you are.
211
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,277
* Oh, oh-oh, oh.
212
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,745
(distant chatter)
213
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,881
Excuse me, Ms. Ingram?
214
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,883
Sheldon, it's recess.
215
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,885
Go outside, see
what it's like.
216
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,154
Are you
by any chance Evelyn Ingram?
217
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,890
Yes.
218
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:46,026
The same Evelyn Ingram
who checked out this book?
219
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,028
And why is that
your business?
I just
220
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,598
assumed you were looking
to make a friend.
221
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,032
Oh. (laughs)
222
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,634
Well, that was
a long time ago.
223
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,770
I had just gotten out of a
very difficult relationship.
224
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,138
With a friend?
Friend.
225
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,908
Ha! I gave that man
three years of my life
226
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,242
and my innocence.
227
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,077
I don't know what that means.
228
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:07,180
It means men are lying dogs
only interested in one thing.
229
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,182
Well, that's not
the dictionary definition.
230
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,784
Mm-hmm.
231
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,319
Always starts the same.
232
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:16,056
A quick glance across the room,
a casual hand on the shoulder,
233
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,725
lunch at Stuckey's. (laughs)
234
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,727
Oh, yeah, it's
all romance
235
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,194
and flowers in the beginning...
236
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,964
ADULT SHELDON:
The list proved
to be a double-edged sword.
237
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,868
It turns out
self-help books written in 1936
238
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,703
were only of interest
to adults.
239
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,238
You're like,
"I'm here because I care.
240
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,306
And by the way, your phone
could make calls, too."
241
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,942
Then tries to turn
this whole thing around
242
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,209
like it's all
about you being needy,
243
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,945
and you're like,
"Yes, I have needs!
244
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,780
That's what makes me human!"
245
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,249
ADULT SHELDON:
Emotionally troubled adults.
246
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,918
Child, go outside.
247
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,389
Yes, that's my signature.
Why do you ask?
248
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,825
I'm seeking people
who want to make friends.
249
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,293
I wasn't interested in friends.
250
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,963
I took out that book to help
me become school principal.
251
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:59,967
Did it work?
Are we sitting in
the principal's office?
252
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,902
No.
And you know why?
253
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,405
Because Victoria
MacElroy is not a man!
254
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,309
So to be clear, you're not
interested in making friends?
255
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,913
What I'm interested in
is in living long enough
256
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:17,117
to see women no longer treated
like second-class citizens.
257
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,819
Well if your goal
is a long life,
258
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,889
that chili cheeseburger is
a step in the wrong direction.
259
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,858
Food is all I have.
260
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,794
ADULT SHELDON:
Like I said,
261
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,996
emotionally troubled adults.
262
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,998
You gonna watch me eat?
263
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,900
Get out of here.
264
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,870
MAN:
Everybody told me,
265
00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,872
"Hubert, don't date
someone from work."
266
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,041
But did I listen? No.
267
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,910
Let me tell you something.
She likes to say
268
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,177
I stole her innocence?
269
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,813
Well, what about my innocence?
270
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,014
I was never the same
after we broke up.
271
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,448
ADULT SHELDON:
Two years later,
272
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,718
Mr. Givens became
the high school principal,
273
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,821
which might be why Ms. MacElroy
became morbidly obese.
274
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,356
I had the brains, I had the
charm, and I don't like to brag,
275
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,325
but I was pretty easy
on the eyes back then.
276
00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,360
That woman got herself
one heck of a package.
277
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,662
But some people don't
want to be satisfied.
278
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,066
Is that any good?
279
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,735
I'm afraid not.
280
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,770
I failed to make
a single friend.
281
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,472
That sucks. I have a tough time
making friends, too.
282
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,308
The worst part is, it
was important to my mom.
283
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,178
My parents pressure me about
making friends all the time.
284
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,314
So you understand
what I'm going through.
285
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,084
Oh, I read that book.
It's excellent.
286
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,385
Are you into rocketry?
287
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,021
I started with
water propulsion,
288
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,757
worked my way up
to solid fuel,
289
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,359
then went back to water after
I set our garage on fire.
290
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,095
Nice.
I also tried to
get some uranium
291
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:38,932
and build an atomic engine,
but that stuff's hard to find.
292
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,501
Probably for the best.
293
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,937
Well, good luck on your
quest to find a friend.
294
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,306
You, too.
295
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,782
If you haven't found one
yet, I have good news.
296
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,987
Mom, what do you know
about the drug Prozac?
297
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,254
Not much.
298
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,991
Supposed to make
people happier. Why?
299
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,392
I was just thinking
300
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,795
some of my teachers
might benefit from it.
301
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,230
Speaking of which,
302
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,299
you'll be happy to know
I made a friend today.
303
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,501
Oh.
304
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,303
Well, that's nice.
305
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,772
But, as I said,
this isn't for me.
306
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:21,208
It's for you.
307
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,509
He made a friend!
308
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,111
He did it!
309
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,513
Our little boy has got a friend.
310
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,281
Who is it?
Who cares?
311
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,383
It's a human being.
It's a warm body.
312
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,119
(knocks)
SHELDON:
Mom?
313
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,220
Yes, honey?
314
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,255
Can I come in?
Of course.
315
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,490
Be cool.
316
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,359
What's up, sweetie?
I was wondering
317
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,995
when I could continue
my rocketry hobby.
318
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,864
Uh, Sheldon,
we've been through this.
319
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,133
You can build them.
You just can't launch them.
320
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,001
But launching them
is the fun part.
321
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,202
Tell that to the family
of squirrels
322
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,437
who died in the fire.
323
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,638
Okay.
324
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,274
It was just something I was
hoping to do with my new friend.
325
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,475
Hang on.
326
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,944
Uh, yes.
327
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,045
It's fine.
328
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,079
Ban is lifted.
329
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,313
Mary...
It's for his friend.
330
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,349
He's got a friend.
331
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,584
Besides,
those could have been rats.
332
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,319
Their bodies
were so badly burned.
333
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,522
I thought we were being cool,
but okay.
334
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,690
Hey, here's an idea.
335
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,861
Why don't you invite your
new buddy over for dinner?
336
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,062
Why?
Well, honey,
337
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,498
um, that is what friends do.
338
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,333
My mother asked
me to ask you
339
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,235
if you'd like to
join us for dinner.
340
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:26,073
Why?
I was hoping you'd know.
341
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,980
MARY:
He's here!
342
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,615
Everybody, stay calm!
Just a normal day,
343
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,051
just a normal dinner.
MISSY:
Can I eat in front of the TV?
344
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,520
MARY: No, you can eat
in front of Sheldon's friend.
345
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,322
MISSY:
Aw, fudge.
I know what "fudge" means,
346
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,591
and you are right
on the edge, young lady.
347
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,460
Welcome.
348
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,971
GEORGE SR.:
So, uh...
349
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,073
Tam. What kind of name is that?
350
00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,441
Vietnamese. Sir.
351
00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,011
Sure. You know, I spent
a little time over there.
352
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,213
Army.
353
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,083
Your mom's name isn't
Kim-Lee, is it?
354
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,618
No. Sir.
355
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,220
Good.
356
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,089
I mean, you know,
it's a small country.
357
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,390
(chuckles):
So...
358
00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,126
Mary, how's that food coming?
359
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,160
MARY:
Almost.
360
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,329
So, Vietnam, like in Rambo.
361
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,497
Yes.
That's a cool movie.
362
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,498
Yes.
363
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,633
Are you in it?
364
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,535
No.
Hmm.
365
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,939
Why would you think
you knew his mom?
366
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,506
MARY:
All right, Tam.
367
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,376
I decided I was gonna make
you a real Texas dinner.
368
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,211
Barbecued chicken and brisket.
369
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,412
Thank you.
370
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,014
Well, I figured
you were probably tired
371
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,950
of stuff wiggling around
on your plate.
372
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,252
Okay, let's say grace.
373
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,519
Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus,"
374
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,688
feel free to say the word
"Buddha" in your head.
375
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,023
I'm actually Catholic.
376
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,559
Oh. Well, that's too bad.
377
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,261
Thank you, God,
for this food,
378
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,629
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
379
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,166
And thank you so much
for Sheldon's new friend.
380
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,401
ALL:
Amen.
381
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,171
So, Tam, tell us
about your family.
382
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,073
What brings y'all to Texas?
383
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,041
Well, after the American War...
384
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,142
You mean the Vietnam War.
385
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:10,677
We call it the American War.
386
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,279
Hmm.
Anyway,
387
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,646
after the war, my
father was sent
388
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,148
to a reeducation camp
389
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,349
because he fought
on the wrong side.
390
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,417
You mean our side.
391
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,153
I was trying to be nice.
392
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,288
So, for many years,
393
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,090
my mother and my
sisters and I
394
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,591
were very poor
395
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,294
and very often
didn't have much to eat.
396
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,529
Then, when he was released...
397
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,431
What'd they teach him
at the reeducation camp?
398
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,966
How to be a communist.
399
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,701
Cool, like in Rambo.
400
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,003
(chuckles nervously)
401
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,104
When he was released,
402
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,705
we escaped on a small boat
403
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:42,442
and spent many weeks at sea
dodging Cambodian pirates
404
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,111
until we reached Thailand.
405
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,047
Oh, that's supposed to be
a beautiful country.
406
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,516
Lovely beaches.
TAM:
I wouldn't know.
407
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,651
We were forced to live
in a refugee camp,
408
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:55,122
where the only thing we had
to eat were pigeons and rats.
409
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,457
Ha! That's a job for hot sauce.
410
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,327
Finally,
411
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,195
we were allowed
to come to United States
412
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,596
and start over in Galveston.
413
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,566
My father saved money
and bought his own shrimp boat.
414
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,402
There's a happy ending. Huh?
415
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,538
See, kids?
When the going gets tough,
416
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,740
America provides.
TAM:
It did.
417
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,476
Until the Ku Klux Klan
burned our boat
418
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,345
and chased us away.
419
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,048
You gonna put a good spin
on that one?
420
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,216
So we came to Medford
421
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,584
and opened up
a convenience store.
422
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,220
My parents work 16 hours a day,
423
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,056
seven days a week
424
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,391
for very little money.
425
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,565
Well, that was depressing.
426
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,074
I don't understand
why it didn't launch.
427
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,375
Me, neither.
428
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,344
Evil Nazi scientists
did it 50 years ago.
429
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,080
How hard could it be?
430
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,314
(doorbell rings)
431
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,219
Can I help you?
432
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,554
Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI.
433
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,690
We're looking
for a Sheldon Lee Cooper.
434
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,558
George!
435
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,094
GEORGE SR.:
I'm on the can.
436
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,296
Now!
(door opens)
437
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,399
What?
These gentlemen
438
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,102
are with the FBI.
They want to talk to Sheldon.
439
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,703
What?
440
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,305
We... Uh...
441
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,839
Y-You fellas
must have made a mistake.
442
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,408
Sheldon's nine.
443
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,709
Well, someone living
at this address
444
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,278
recently called a mining
operation in Canada
445
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,413
and tried to buy uranium.
446
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,116
Okay, maybe it's not a mistake.
447
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,383
It's ridiculous.
448
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,684
Let's just go talk to him.
449
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,619
Huh?
450
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,321
He's just a little,
itty-bitty thing.
451
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,588
Really, he's harmless.
452
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,427
SHELDON:
Sorry!
453
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,096
He's in the garage.
31509
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