1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,439 Look at him. Breaks my heart. 2 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,376 Poor little guy, all alone. 3 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,477 I don't see why 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,612 his brother can't sit with him. Come on, Mary. 5 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,281 When you were in high school, would you have lunch 6 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,615 with a nine-year-old? Yes, I would've. 7 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,284 Well, there's something wrong with you. 8 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,252 I'm gonna keep him company. 9 00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,553 Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary. 10 00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,090 Think this through. Right now the kids 11 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,124 are just ignoring Sheldon. 12 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,459 What happens if he's sitting with his mommy? 13 00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:29,230 They could mistake me for a senior. 14 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,399 Well, I look younger than you. 15 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,833 Just give this time, all right? 16 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,802 It'll work itself out. (sighs) 17 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,771 ADULT SHELDON: My mother never understood 18 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,474 that I actually enjoyed being alone. 19 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:43,844 Solitude allowed me to think about important things, 20 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,415 like the effect of gravitational forces 21 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,750 as you approach an event horizon, 22 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,585 as opposed to less important things, 23 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:55,356 like how many grapes my brother can fit in his mouth. 24 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,590 (muffled): 14! 25 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,592 Yeah! (laughter) 26 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,594 ADULT SHELDON: Jean-Paul Sartre said, 27 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,131 "Hell is other people." 28 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,232 (laughs) 29 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:07,868 That's humorous because it's true. 30 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,172 * Nobody else is stronger than I am * 31 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,674 * Yesterday I moved a mountain 32 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,477 * I bet I could be your hero 33 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,380 * I am a mighty little man 34 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:23,151 * I am a mighty little man. * 35 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,892 (sighs) 36 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,461 Something wrong? 37 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:36,164 How come math is easy for Sheldon 38 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:37,331 and hard for me? 39 00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:38,466 I don't know, honey, 40 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,268 but you have your own gifts. 41 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,869 Like what? 42 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,505 Well, like... 43 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:49,177 ...you have very pretty hair. 44 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,179 True. 45 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,482 Georgie. 46 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,484 Would you do me a little tiny favor? 47 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,818 Like what? 48 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,353 Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind 49 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:00,488 sitting with your brother? 50 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:01,622 Don't do it, Georgie. 51 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,191 You stay out of this. 52 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,625 I ate with him in second grade. 53 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,660 It really hurt my social life. 54 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:09,430 (sighs) Sorry, Mom. Can't do it. 55 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,733 Why are you such a brat? 56 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,269 Maybe I'm crying for attention. 57 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,671 This isn't a joke, young lady. 58 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,740 Yes, your brother may be smart, 59 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:22,576 but he doesn't have a friend in the world. 60 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:26,514 And I am sorry, but I am very worried about him. 61 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,321 Nice going. You're making Mom a nervous wreck. 62 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,256 What did I do? 63 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:37,658 You don't have any friends, and she is beside herself. 64 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,393 But I'm fine without friends. 65 00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:40,761 I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon. 66 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,663 She said it's your fault. 67 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,865 I'm going to watch ALF. 68 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,501 ADULT SHELDON: Science fact: 69 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,437 sisters are the worst. (door closes) 70 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,344 ADULT SHELDON: When you're three foot ten 71 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,411 and in high school, 72 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,946 getting from point "A" 73 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:01,615 to point "B" can be a harrowing experience. 74 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,816 * Oh, yeah 75 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,718 * We are the youth gone wild * 76 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,887 * Whoa 77 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,457 * Whoa... * 78 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,559 ADULT SHELDON: But it's worth it when point "B" is... 79 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,362 (exhales) 80 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:17,398 ...the library. 81 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,700 Home to the original information superhighway, 82 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,669 the Dewey Decimal System. 83 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,337 MS. HUTCHINS: Hey there, Sheldon. 84 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,439 What can I get for you today? 85 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,774 Chemistry? 86 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,009 Quantum mechanics? Astronomy? 87 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,678 No, nothing fun today. 88 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,813 I need to learn how to make a friend. 89 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,448 Aw, honey, you having a hard time 90 00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:35,816 adjusting to high school? 91 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,586 I'm having a hard time adjusting to Earth. 92 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,721 Yeah. You and me both. 93 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,025 Try this. 94 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,329 It's been around a while, but it's still quite popular. 95 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,464 Unlike me, 96 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,633 who's just been around a while. 97 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,737 "How to Win Friends 98 00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,972 and Influence People." 99 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,341 This might do it. 100 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,776 "Principle one. 101 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,314 Don't criticize, condemn or complain." 102 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,416 ADULT SHELDON: The three sharpest arrows 103 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,418 in my quiver. 104 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,486 Thus began the greatest challenge 105 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,887 of my young life. 106 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,489 Hello, George. 107 00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:16,890 What? 108 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,960 I do admire your thick head of hair... 109 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,429 George. 110 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,031 Thanks. 111 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,132 What's going on? 112 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,068 Well, I'm practicing the principles in this book. 113 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,638 Why? Well, I know Mom is concerned 114 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,640 that I don't have any friends, 115 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,409 so I'm determined to remedy the situation. 116 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:36,810 Oh. 117 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,078 George. 118 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,614 Well, good for you. 119 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:41,782 Do you feel complimented 120 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,751 when I say your name, George? 121 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,387 The book says you should. George. 122 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,655 I suppose. 123 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,657 Kind of overdoing it a little. 124 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,659 Sheldon. Well, thank you 125 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,327 for your criticism. 126 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,662 It also says I should praise 127 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,830 any improvements that you've made. 128 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,833 Okay. 129 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,903 I'll get back to you. 130 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,842 George. 131 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,378 ADULT SHELDON: On the heels 132 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,579 of that successful beta test, 133 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,382 I decided to practice the Carnegie principles 134 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,484 on someone my own age. 135 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,552 * Hey. 136 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,021 Hello, Billy Sparks. Hey, Sheldon. 137 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,391 I am genuinely interested in you 138 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,394 and would like to encourage you to talk about yourself. 139 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,895 Billy Sparks. 140 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,329 Thank you. 141 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,137 You have the floor. 142 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,006 Thank you. 143 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,877 ADULT SHELDON: Looking back, I would've had better luck 144 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,813 making friends with the chickens. 145 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,515 (bell rings) Go Wolves. 146 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,749 What? 147 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,751 You're a cheerleader, and by saying 148 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,020 "Go Wolves," I'm initiating a conversation 149 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,722 about something that interests you. 150 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:58,492 Oh, are you one of those special ed kids? 151 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,394 My mom says I'm special. 152 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:02,129 Would you like to be friends? 153 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,131 I don't think so. 154 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,966 Are you sure? What if I told you 155 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,502 I admired your boldly-applied makeup? 156 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,638 * Oh! 157 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,978 SHELDON: Greetings from stall number one. 158 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,548 As much as I detest that odd-smelling cigarette, 159 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,782 I do applaud 160 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,917 your rule-breaking bravado. 161 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,020 My name is Sheldon. What's yours? 162 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,456 (door closes) 163 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,990 Hello, gentlemen. 164 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:34,628 Did you watch any sports programs over the weekend? 165 00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:36,096 * That's what I like about... * 166 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:40,734 Or perhaps did some kissing with girls? 167 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,170 * That's what I like about you... * 168 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,038 Can you hear me? 169 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,173 * Hey! Hey! 170 00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:49,543 * Hey! MISSY: 95, 96, 97. 171 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,911 98. 172 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,781 99, 100. 173 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,783 You missed 11 numbers. I don't need 174 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:58,185 to be good at math. I have beautiful hair. 175 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,788 That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 176 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,956 Didn't you already read that book? 177 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,792 I'm reading it again. 178 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,059 How come? 179 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,961 I clearly missed something. 180 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,998 I couldn't find one person who wanted to be my friend. 181 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,100 Did you look at the card inside? 182 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,668 Why? 183 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,137 That's just other people who checked out the book. 184 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:20,674 It's a list of losers like you who can't find a friend. 185 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,142 So? 186 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,678 So they're desperate, and you have their names. 187 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:27,948 That's brilliant. 188 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,750 Mm. 189 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,185 Now, how is it that you can't count? 190 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,426 * Well, can't you see her standing there? * 191 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,130 So your father tells me you've been reading a new book? 192 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,165 I am. It's about how to make friends. 193 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,968 Is that something you're interested in? 194 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,170 Not really, but Missy told me 195 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,640 it makes you sad that I don't have any. 196 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,107 Oh. 197 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,744 I got to sew that girl's mouth shut. 198 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,846 So how's it going? 199 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,982 Well, the principles in the book didn't work for me at all. 200 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,117 Although Dad does like being called George 201 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,987 over and over again, so you might give that a try. 202 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,990 Baby, you don't have to go to any trouble for me. 203 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,825 But I like doing things for you. 204 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,260 You're a nice lady. 205 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,863 But if the book's not working... It isn't. 206 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,599 But I realized if I find the other people 207 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,669 who checked out the book, they'd be looking for friends, too. 208 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,771 That's really smart. 209 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,139 Missy thought of it. You're kidding. 210 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,742 I'm as surprised as you are. 211 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,277 * Oh, oh-oh, oh. 212 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,745 (distant chatter) 213 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,881 Excuse me, Ms. Ingram? 214 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,883 Sheldon, it's recess. 215 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,885 Go outside, see what it's like. 216 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,154 Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram? 217 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,890 Yes. 218 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:46,026 The same Evelyn Ingram who checked out this book? 219 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,028 And why is that your business? I just 220 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,598 assumed you were looking to make a friend. 221 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,032 Oh. (laughs) 222 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,634 Well, that was a long time ago. 223 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,770 I had just gotten out of a very difficult relationship. 224 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,138 With a friend? Friend. 225 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,908 Ha! I gave that man three years of my life 226 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,242 and my innocence. 227 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,077 I don't know what that means. 228 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:07,180 It means men are lying dogs only interested in one thing. 229 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,182 Well, that's not the dictionary definition. 230 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,784 Mm-hmm. 231 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,319 Always starts the same. 232 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:16,056 A quick glance across the room, a casual hand on the shoulder, 233 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,725 lunch at Stuckey's. (laughs) 234 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,727 Oh, yeah, it's all romance 235 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,194 and flowers in the beginning... 236 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,964 ADULT SHELDON: The list proved to be a double-edged sword. 237 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,868 It turns out self-help books written in 1936 238 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,703 were only of interest to adults. 239 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,238 You're like, "I'm here because I care. 240 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,306 And by the way, your phone could make calls, too." 241 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,942 Then tries to turn this whole thing around 242 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,209 like it's all about you being needy, 243 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,945 and you're like, "Yes, I have needs! 244 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,780 That's what makes me human!" 245 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,249 ADULT SHELDON: Emotionally troubled adults. 246 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,918 Child, go outside. 247 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,389 Yes, that's my signature. Why do you ask? 248 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,825 I'm seeking people who want to make friends. 249 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,293 I wasn't interested in friends. 250 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,963 I took out that book to help me become school principal. 251 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:59,967 Did it work? Are we sitting in the principal's office? 252 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,902 No. And you know why? 253 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,405 Because Victoria MacElroy is not a man! 254 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,309 So to be clear, you're not interested in making friends? 255 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,913 What I'm interested in is in living long enough 256 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:17,117 to see women no longer treated like second-class citizens. 257 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,819 Well if your goal is a long life, 258 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:21,889 that chili cheeseburger is a step in the wrong direction. 259 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,858 Food is all I have. 260 00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,794 ADULT SHELDON: Like I said, 261 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,996 emotionally troubled adults. 262 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,998 You gonna watch me eat? 263 00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,900 Get out of here. 264 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,870 MAN: Everybody told me, 265 00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,872 "Hubert, don't date someone from work." 266 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,041 But did I listen? No. 267 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,910 Let me tell you something. She likes to say 268 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,177 I stole her innocence? 269 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,813 Well, what about my innocence? 270 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,014 I was never the same after we broke up. 271 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,448 ADULT SHELDON: Two years later, 272 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,718 Mr. Givens became the high school principal, 273 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,821 which might be why Ms. MacElroy became morbidly obese. 274 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:56,356 I had the brains, I had the charm, and I don't like to brag, 275 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,325 but I was pretty easy on the eyes back then. 276 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,360 That woman got herself one heck of a package. 277 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,662 But some people don't want to be satisfied. 278 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,066 Is that any good? 279 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,735 I'm afraid not. 280 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,770 I failed to make a single friend. 281 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,472 That sucks. I have a tough time making friends, too. 282 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,308 The worst part is, it was important to my mom. 283 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,178 My parents pressure me about making friends all the time. 284 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,314 So you understand what I'm going through. 285 00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,084 Oh, I read that book. It's excellent. 286 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,385 Are you into rocketry? 287 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,021 I started with water propulsion, 288 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,757 worked my way up to solid fuel, 289 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,359 then went back to water after I set our garage on fire. 290 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:35,095 Nice. I also tried to get some uranium 291 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:38,932 and build an atomic engine, but that stuff's hard to find. 292 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,501 Probably for the best. 293 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,937 Well, good luck on your quest to find a friend. 294 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,306 You, too. 295 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,782 If you haven't found one yet, I have good news. 296 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,987 Mom, what do you know about the drug Prozac? 297 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,254 Not much. 298 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,991 Supposed to make people happier. Why? 299 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,392 I was just thinking 300 00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,795 some of my teachers might benefit from it. 301 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,230 Speaking of which, 302 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,299 you'll be happy to know I made a friend today. 303 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,501 Oh. 304 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,303 Well, that's nice. 305 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,772 But, as I said, this isn't for me. 306 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:21,208 It's for you. 307 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,509 He made a friend! 308 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,111 He did it! 309 00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:26,513 Our little boy has got a friend. 310 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,281 Who is it? Who cares? 311 00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,383 It's a human being. It's a warm body. 312 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,119 (knocks) SHELDON: Mom? 313 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,220 Yes, honey? 314 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,255 Can I come in? Of course. 315 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,490 Be cool. 316 00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,359 What's up, sweetie? I was wondering 317 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,995 when I could continue my rocketry hobby. 318 00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,864 Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this. 319 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,133 You can build them. You just can't launch them. 320 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,001 But launching them is the fun part. 321 00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:49,202 Tell that to the family of squirrels 322 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:50,437 who died in the fire. 323 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,638 Okay. 324 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:54,274 It was just something I was hoping to do with my new friend. 325 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,475 Hang on. 326 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,944 Uh, yes. 327 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,045 It's fine. 328 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,079 Ban is lifted. 329 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,313 Mary... It's for his friend. 330 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,349 He's got a friend. 331 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,584 Besides, those could have been rats. 332 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,319 Their bodies were so badly burned. 333 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:09,522 I thought we were being cool, but okay. 334 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,690 Hey, here's an idea. 335 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,861 Why don't you invite your new buddy over for dinner? 336 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,062 Why? Well, honey, 337 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,498 um, that is what friends do. 338 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,333 My mother asked me to ask you 339 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:22,235 if you'd like to join us for dinner. 340 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:26,073 Why? I was hoping you'd know. 341 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,980 MARY: He's here! 342 00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,615 Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, 343 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,051 just a normal dinner. MISSY: Can I eat in front of the TV? 344 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,520 MARY: No, you can eat in front of Sheldon's friend. 345 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,322 MISSY: Aw, fudge. I know what "fudge" means, 346 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,591 and you are right on the edge, young lady. 347 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,460 Welcome. 348 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,971 GEORGE SR.: So, uh... 349 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,073 Tam. What kind of name is that? 350 00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:01,441 Vietnamese. Sir. 351 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:04,011 Sure. You know, I spent a little time over there. 352 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,213 Army. 353 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,083 Your mom's name isn't Kim-Lee, is it? 354 00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:11,618 No. Sir. 355 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,220 Good. 356 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,089 I mean, you know, it's a small country. 357 00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,390 (chuckles): So... 358 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,126 Mary, how's that food coming? 359 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,160 MARY: Almost. 360 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,329 So, Vietnam, like in Rambo. 361 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,497 Yes. That's a cool movie. 362 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,498 Yes. 363 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,633 Are you in it? 364 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,535 No. Hmm. 365 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,939 Why would you think you knew his mom? 366 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,506 MARY: All right, Tam. 367 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,376 I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. 368 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,211 Barbecued chicken and brisket. 369 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,412 Thank you. 370 00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,014 Well, I figured you were probably tired 371 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,950 of stuff wiggling around on your plate. 372 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,252 Okay, let's say grace. 373 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,519 Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," 374 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,688 feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head. 375 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,023 I'm actually Catholic. 376 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,559 Oh. Well, that's too bad. 377 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,261 Thank you, God, for this food, 378 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,629 and bless the hands that prepared it. 379 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,166 And thank you so much for Sheldon's new friend. 380 00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,401 ALL: Amen. 381 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,171 So, Tam, tell us about your family. 382 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,073 What brings y'all to Texas? 383 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,041 Well, after the American War... 384 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,142 You mean the Vietnam War. 385 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:10,677 We call it the American War. 386 00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,279 Hmm. Anyway, 387 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,646 after the war, my father was sent 388 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,148 to a reeducation camp 389 00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,349 because he fought on the wrong side. 390 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,417 You mean our side. 391 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,153 I was trying to be nice. 392 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,288 So, for many years, 393 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,090 my mother and my sisters and I 394 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,591 were very poor 395 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,294 and very often didn't have much to eat. 396 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,529 Then, when he was released... 397 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,431 What'd they teach him at the reeducation camp? 398 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:32,966 How to be a communist. 399 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,701 Cool, like in Rambo. 400 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,003 (chuckles nervously) 401 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,104 When he was released, 402 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,705 we escaped on a small boat 403 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:42,442 and spent many weeks at sea dodging Cambodian pirates 404 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,111 until we reached Thailand. 405 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,047 Oh, that's supposed to be a beautiful country. 406 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,516 Lovely beaches. TAM: I wouldn't know. 407 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,651 We were forced to live in a refugee camp, 408 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:55,122 where the only thing we had to eat were pigeons and rats. 409 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,457 Ha! That's a job for hot sauce. 410 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,327 Finally, 411 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,195 we were allowed to come to United States 412 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,596 and start over in Galveston. 413 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,566 My father saved money and bought his own shrimp boat. 414 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:09,402 There's a happy ending. Huh? 415 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,538 See, kids? When the going gets tough, 416 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,740 America provides. TAM: It did. 417 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:16,476 Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat 418 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,345 and chased us away. 419 00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,048 You gonna put a good spin on that one? 420 00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,216 So we came to Medford 421 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,584 and opened up a convenience store. 422 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,220 My parents work 16 hours a day, 423 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:29,056 seven days a week 424 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,391 for very little money. 425 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,565 Well, that was depressing. 426 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,074 I don't understand why it didn't launch. 427 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,375 Me, neither. 428 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,344 Evil Nazi scientists did it 50 years ago. 429 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,080 How hard could it be? 430 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,314 (doorbell rings) 431 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,219 Can I help you? 432 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,554 Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI. 433 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,690 We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper. 434 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,558 George! 435 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,094 GEORGE SR.: I'm on the can. 436 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,296 Now! (door opens) 437 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,399 What? These gentlemen 438 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,102 are with the FBI. They want to talk to Sheldon. 439 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,703 What? 440 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,305 We... Uh... 441 00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,839 Y-You fellas must have made a mistake. 442 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,408 Sheldon's nine. 443 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:22,709 Well, someone living at this address 444 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,278 recently called a mining operation in Canada 445 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,413 and tried to buy uranium. 446 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,116 Okay, maybe it's not a mistake. 447 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,383 It's ridiculous. 448 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,684 Let's just go talk to him. 449 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,619 Huh? 450 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,321 He's just a little, itty-bitty thing. 451 00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,588 Really, he's harmless. 452 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,427 SHELDON: Sorry! 453 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,096 He's in the garage.