Original subtitles

Hello, my name is Oscar I'm an accountant in Scranton, Pennsylvania

and I am gay

And I'm here to tell you that, yes it does get better

When I was younger What? What's he doing?

He's searching out younger gays.

No, it's just a way to tell young people

no matter how hard it gets for them

there's a brighter future ahead

With you

No matter how hard it gets for you... Kelly, seriously, I...

Just keep chatting I'm just checking my makeup in your webcam

Do you not own a mirror?

Webcams make me look the way I look in my fantasies.

I know, right? What is it? You always look so good in those things.

I'm throwing out all my mirrors.

Okay, as you can see

at a dynamic workplace

Being gay is a celebration of life It's a simple...

I'm sorry. I just can't sit idly by

and have the gay youth of America

misled by some reductionist

I'm not misleading

...pep talk

Sexuality is a spectrum

It's a paradox to think of any sexual activity as normal

It gets better, but it also gets vastly more complicated.

Hey, Robert? That guy he looks just like you

Damn it! Kevin. God

You okay, Robert?

I'm fine

Put some ice on it

In any case, it gets better

Maybe not much better but better.

It hurts

One, two, three

I wanted to give a nice gift to the tenants in the building.

At first I thought, "Muffin basket."

Then I thought, "What's even more precious to people than muffins?"

Can you just smile, please?

Their own children

Hey, everybody

Just a few hours left for the free family portrait studio.

Darryl, we'd love to see little Jada come by

Angela, why don't you bring by your little angel?

No, thank you

Jim, you've got those two cute kids

We sure would love to see them

doing this, Dwight

Last week, I may have gone too far

I'll explain it quickly

Basically I found out where he gets his clothes dry-cleaned

custom-ordered the same suit made with tear-away Velcro

and you can fill in the rest.

What?

Damn it, Jim

Now he's trying to get me to bring my children into work

I think it's fair to be cautious

Let me get this straight you lost all of it?

All your winnings $150,000?

You mean to tell me no one wanted

an energy drink for Asian homosexuals?

They did not

You've got half-a-million of these?

Well, I've got to try it I wouldn't

Oh, come on. What's the harm?

Hmm

What flavor is that?

The coconut's pretty subtle

Come on, man. Can you just give us a yes or a no?

I don't know, man. You all quit with a lot of confidence

came up in here dancing and everybody was...

Ooh! Hold on a second

If I were Val, I would break up with Brandon

Then I would date the hell out of me

I wouldn't give in to me too fast,

let me buy myself some nice dinners and such

When I finally did give in I would go crazy on myself

Hi, guys

How's it going, man?

I'm... I'm good Thank you. How are you?

Great, yeah. Good

Oh, how the mediocre have fallen.

Oh, God

Look, I'm not here to get my old job back

I'm moving on

Just wanted to come in here and literally beg you

for something, anything

water the plants.

No, you don't Clean the toilets

Pull the poop out of the toilets

Not even a thing. Just please

Andy. Andy

Please give me something

Why don't you clean the carpets for today?

Thank you

Well, you're... Up you get, then

Pick yourself up

There it is. Thank you

You don't need to

Good, good This carpet's overdue for a good mopping

Is a mop the most efficient too to use on a carpet?

Yeah, it is, actually

I can't hold it in any longer

Because I convinced David Wallace

to buy Dunder Mifflin back from Sabre

and at 3:00 today he's going to walk in here

and reinstate me as manager

Family picture

Pam. No

What? Honey, we talked about this.

No, we talked about not bringing them

into Dwight's photo studio/trap.

Yes, and then we decided that was crazy.

No, we decided it was crazy not to worry about it

No, we settled in a much more rational place

remember? No

We decided that there's no way Dwight would harm a child

But are you 1 00% sure? I don't think any of us are

No, no

Nope

But it's free and we'll keep our eye on them

Yes Yes, that's

And we will make sure that Dwight doesn't do anything

Okay ...C-R-A-Z-Y

Wait. C-R-A-Z

Great, right up there

Yeah Yeah.

You sit right here one time.

There you go Okay.

All right, why don't you just give him to me?

Oh, great. Thank you

Perfect

This is great, excuse me

You ready? There you go

Okay. All right, let's do it

I'll just stand here then

Yeah, just keep your eye on Dwight Okay, yeah

Sir, could you look into the camera?

Let's do it Shoot it. Great

Sir. Up here

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jim, right here right here. Okay. Good

Oh, so that's it? That's it

See, that wasn't so hard

Cute kids Thanks for coming.

Hello, Erin. Hello, everybody

What, why? Hi, honey. What... How are you doing?

You know, my office got a call

that they were shooting family portraits right here

And if there's one thing every politician instinctively understands

it's a good photo op

Okay, you're going to go through the hallway.

Here's a map And if you get lost just follow the blue line

Thanks

Well, well, well, Senator Lipton. Welcome

Angela. Dwight

Nice to see you

May I hold him? Sure

No. I am going to hold him because I haven't seen him all day.

I think that Dwight is doing this whole thing

to get a sample of my baby's DNA

to prove he's the father

Which is impossible

Because the Senator is the only man I've ever been with

Did you see that?

What do you think about that? See?

See that ducky?

Okay, hold on a second, folks

A few of the baby's hairs are out of place

Oh, thank you No, no, no

I like the baby's hair the way it is.

Really?

This is getting more and more delicious by the minute.

It's go time

Hey, Nellie. I made... I made you

Well, I don't want any soup

But it's really good

Oh! Come on, Andy

Ah

I know this is going to be a great payoff

A delicious moment

But after you're manager

some of these images are going to be hard to shake

Well, but it's Just calibrate.

Okay? Calibrate

Okay, here we go

Oh, you know what? I don't want to throw a wrench into the works

but I want everything to be perfect

and the baby's fingernails are just bothering me.

Uh-uh. Leave us alone

with the fingernails

Okay, great. Suit yourself

Although

aren't those excess skin cells

in the baby's cheek distracting to you as well?

Dwight! We're fine

Oopsie! Did somebody make a poopsie?

I'm just going to take him out and change him

just for a second here

He defecated

Ooh Oh

Stinky

A lot has changed since you all left, okay?

You're going to have to jump through some hoops

And the new foreman is here

Now, she's one of the best we've ever known, okay?

So I need you to show her your utmost respect

Make sure that she feels welcome

and at home, okay? Can you do that?

That's some pretty blatant complimenting you're doing there, man

I don't even talk to her like that. - Uh, Brandon

You would? Yeah.

Sounds like you're trying to hit on my girlfriend

Calm down. He's not

Yes, I am

Just so everyone's on the same page.

So you really think she's going to

leave a guy who owns his own restaurant

for a dude who ate his own restaurant? Brandon.

Good slam

Thank you, Biggie

Good luck to you

Oh, and have a burger for me

Okay, shall we take a few more?

I think we have all the shots we need Thank you, Dwight

Okay, here we go Yes, here we go.

No, Dwight! Give me the diaper Dwight!

Is this what you were looking for?

Huh? Huh?

Andy, we wanted to talk to you.

A lot of us are very concerned about you

You're dirty, you stink of booze, you're limping inexplicably

I just want you guys not to worry

because old Andy's going to be just fine

No, no, no see, this is what we're talking about

I mean, what was that accent?

And last time I checked you were drunk and now you're not drunk

No, unfortunately it's true

He's been a nightmare

and the worst part is he's been taking it out on me.

You hit her? - What?

No, no That is not the deal

Calibrate

He's not hitting me, but he's been verbally abusing me

That is not true, either

That's also total... Everyone please relax

I think you're going to like this surprise guest

Happy birthday to Gabe

Oh, get out, Skeleton Man

someone to talk to

Huh?

Hold on

I'm just going to... Hello?

Hey, what's the scoop? Are you close?

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no You have to come now.

Traffic clears. No, next Friday

That's not going to work Okay, yeah, okay

Damn it

Well, this is not going to be quite as delicious as I wanted

but I do have a very tasty announcement for you guys.

Not only am I not a lowly janitor,

once again

Guys, I got my old job back

Oh, boy Oh, Andy

I'm not crazy I convinced David Wallace to give me my job back

David Wallace hasn't worked here in years.

Okay, yes I see the confusion

at the fundraiser

He is now a multi-millionaire

because he sold his toy vacuum "Suck It'

to the U.S. Military

Andy, come on, man

I... Okay, I get how that sounds crazy.

Andy, nobody's calling you crazy, Andy.

We're your friends, Andy

Stop saying my name

No, he's not making this up. Thank you, Erin

Andy tells me about seeing David Wallace all the time

But have you ever actually seen him yourself?

Oh, my God. Wait

Erin, come... Come on

You know I've been talking to David Wallace

Do you see David Wallace in the room right now?

Operation Phoenix is a go Just get the car ready

Okay, you look at me like you're adoring me

and I'm going to look at the camera

like I don't even know you're there

But I do adore you

Andrew, it's time for you to go home

You're better than this

Yeah, I know

Everyone is better than this

Because this is the worst thing I have ever seen

Why did they add coconut? I miss original.

Hey. - Hey

Hey, guys - Hey

Hey, guys, long time

David, what are you doing here?

Is it true you're buying the company?

Okay, I guess the word is out

Please keep this a secret but yes, I've been talking with Andy.

What? I thought I heard my name. What?

I'm the new manager?

I'll get to that in a second, Andy

But it's It is me? Right?

Yes as we discussed

What?

Oh, my God

It's very possible Probable.

Wow. From janitor to manager?

Yep

It's quite a Cinderella story. From M-O-P to MVP

There's an official announcement A few details...

From total loss to total boss. I mean

Can we expect any payroll interruptions?

Now that is a great question, Stanley

Right now I think all your operations

or most of your operations are pretty much down in Florida,

so the shift back

I was so looking forward to that and it did not go

as I thought it would

So we're not going to be a part of Sabre anymore?

Actually nothing is going to be a part of Sabre anymore

Jo Bennett's planning on liquidating the rest of the company

Oof!

Wouldn't want to be a Sabre employee right about now.

I'm actually the CEO

Ah

I didn't realize you were standing there

Hey, my friend, trust me

This is for the best I never understood that corporate mess

Well, okay. Well, great to meet you

Likewise, I'm Bob Bob Kazamakis.

Pleasure

I'd love to give you a little rundown

on what I've learned about this place.

That's very gracious of you, Bob

Please

I guess I better take off these dirty rags

and figure out how to be a manager of this place.

Perhaps your year of experience

managing this branch will come in handy.

Gosh, I hope so

No! God, Mose. God

Hi, Angela

Get out of the car Get out!

Where is he? Where is he?

I'm not supposed to say Yes, tell me!

Tell me where he is

Mose! Damn it Where did he go?

Mose, get back here

See that smile

Jump in here Come on

Looks like I might get my delicious moment after all.

May I say one thing?

It would be rude of me not to let you say whatever's on your mind

"The quality of mercy is not strained.'

No

"It dropeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath."

Do not bring Shakespeare into this

How dare you play the "Bard Card."

"It blesseth he who gives and he who takes.

"'Tis mightiest in the mightiest.'

one mother * delicious moment.

Is that too much to ask?

If I were to hire you back, if

what do you think you would do well?

Special projects manager That's my background.

doing whatever I want

All right, you sly bastard when can you start?

Okay, everyone

with Bob

and since I am going to be CEO now, there'll be no need for him

Ouch! That's got to hurt

But he is going to make so much money from the liquidation,

he's going to be freed up to do

something much more important. What?

David has generously offered to donate $1 ,000,000 in matching funds

to a cause that's very dear to me

So for the next three years I'll be traveling overseas,

concentrating all of my efforts on educating, mentoring

some African, some Asian, but mainly Eastern European women

I had no idea how pervasive

this problem was until Bob explained it to me

Oprah Winfrey's Leadership Academy

and other schools like it while wonderful, end with high school.

I want to see these girls right through college.

Especially the gymnasts

They've lost so many years of crucial education

to perfecting their bodies

Muscle groups the rest of us can't even fathom

Gymnasts? You're going to seek out uneducated gymnasts?

Yeah. So I'm hoping to identify some truly exceptional women

who show great promise

Well, Andy, it's been fun

Hmm

It's been a great year

Hello Where is it?

They're testing it now

How long does it take to get the results?

Seventy-two hours

You're going to wait here?

Yes

Dwight, I can't do this Dwight

Hey Senator Lipton.

Hey, how are you?

You didn't call

Um

Well, the issue that concerned me

You know what this is about.

Call