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Chef from South Park. It's genius. Just some chef.

I've decided to pre-screen all of the Halloween costumes this year

I have three simple rules

don't be offensive don't be cliché

and don't take the first two rules too seriously

The gorilla from Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

Huh?

The one who sacrifices his life

Whoa! Oh

Spoiler alert It's been out for ages, man.

Costume vetoed

Uh.

It's... Somebody's already called that

Who? Kevin has a gorilla suit you could borrow.

This is ridiculous! Why can't there just be two Kate Middletons?

Guys, I know, I mean I wish there could be too

It's like I can't choose

They're both amazing, it's just

Look, I stayed up all night and I watched that g. D. wedding

and then I came to work and I made everyone else watch it all day

Meredith wasn't even here Because I was there

You're the people's princess! Diana was nothing!

I thought you were at your sister's funeral

What I said was "My sister's funeral is this weekend.'

Didn't say I'd be there

Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story?

Warms my heart thinking about them two kids...

...doing it

Can I maybe squeeze through?

Here you go There we go. Thank you.

When they talk about app the nice things about dating a co-worker,

they don't mention one of the best parts.

After you're done dating, you still get to work together every single day

Jim, put it on

Put it on, man

I don't know if I can. Come on the Three Amigos

Three Kings. All right

I know, I know, I know. But Darryl and Kevin needed a third.

They bought me this jersey. I said no

Kevin started crying, so I am Chris Bosh.

If you get into season one, you know, really

Oh, my God, what the he is wrong with you?

It's called a costume

What are you? Some kind of Jamaican zombie woman?

Ryan, will you please tell her who I am? Whoopi Goldberg.

Has no one here heard of Kerrigan, from StarCraft?

Queen of blades

It's all Toby's fault

Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing

You can't bring weapons into the office.

And every year he says the same thing.

"As soon as I get my weapons back, I'm going to kill you."

But there I am at Thanksgiving alive, you know?

I'm a lucky turkey

Everybody looking good? This is the best we can do?

I'm not judging. I think you guys look great, I just

...want to make sure this is the best we can do

I just got a text from Broccoli Rob. "Boo!'

It scared me

And then I got this text from Robert California

"Looking forward to Halloween party Expectations are high.'

Scared the * out of me

G'day, Pameroo Could you shoot this off for me?

Yeah. Australian accent

What are you doing? I just wanted to see how you do it.

If you're doing something I don't

Are you That Andy so hot and cold

One day he's like, "Fax these documents, please.'

The next he's like, "Pam, you fax them. Who cares what Erin's feeling." Right?

Oh, Erin Pam

how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of one to three?

Um

Two?

It's like the second to last thing I wanted to hear

No, I mean you're doing great

and Andy put you in charge of the whole party, right?

Yeah Yeah.

Send completed. You are the best in the biz. I can't deny

Bob and I are doing this Scranton haunted walking tour

I always wondered what kind of people went on that thing.

Hey, if you go by the Banshee Pub

tell the Man in Black I say hello

What happened, Pam? Okay.

When I was 22, I worked there and everybody said the place was haunted.

I didn't believe it until one day before we opened

I look up into the mirror you know, behind the bar?

And I see this old man dressed all in black,

but when I turn around there's no one there.

So, I tell the cook my story Wait, they have food there?

...and he said

"That's what everyone sees That's the Man in Black.'

No. My wife does not believe in ghosts

Hey Hey

Oh

This Man in Black thing What do you think that was about?

What do you mean? Was it like trickery in the lights

or maybe you were so primed to see it then there it was

I saw a ghost Mm-hmm

What I'm saying is, like do you ever wonder what it was?

It was a ghost. I told you this on like our first date

Yeah, I had just told you about the day that I met the Blue Angels.

I figured you had to top it I don't know what to tell you, Jim

but I saw a ghost

Hey

Uh-oh

Looks like we're under a Jack attack. - Yes, Andrew.

And you, on this day of fantasy, are a labourer

Yes Everyone, this is Bert, my son.

Bert, this is a paper company

Hey, Bert

Hello

Can I use a computer? I need to check a hurricane

Here, use this one

All right

Oh, look, pin the word on the witch

How did you know I was bringing my son?

I didn't. It was for us But he can play.

Berty Boy, would you like to play this game?

That stuff's for babies

Perhaps this party will awaken the baby in all of us

Wow. Who shot our grownup party with the kiddy ray gun?

We're still getting it set up It's going to be really cool

Extraordinary. Did you plan this?

Well, Toby and I did, yeah

And I overheard and thought "Hey, that'd be fun don't mind if I do.'

If you turn out the lights we'll do a little dance

One, two, three

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones

Now we're the skeleton crew

Delightful. Thank you

Now then how are we today?

Fine Great.

Just fine, Kelly? Everything all right?

Mm-hmm

You feeling fulfilled in your life?

I guess

You guess? So there is something you want that you

do not have

Try not to think about it

Because it's too terrifying to imagine

Now we're cooking

What is it, Kelly? What is this great fear of yours?

Never marrying Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary.

And how are you, Toby?

So great

Oh, I put those up. I know. I'm taking them down.

I almost wonder if putting nothing on this wall

is more Halloween-y

I don't know about this, guys

Andy put me in charge of the Halloween party, so.

Well, Andy sent us in here, so which is it?

Oh

So can we speak our minds now? Or are we still sparing feelings?

Because I hate all of this.

Very low pressure in the Sargasso Sea

Warm air from South America

Cold air from Greenland All signs point to the perfect storm.

Perfectly mediocre

What are you, anyway?

I'm a Jamaican zombie woman Leave me alone, ghoul

If you had some really big wings with blades on the end

you'd kind of look like Kerrigan from StarCraft.

Damn it! I am Kerrigan from StarCraft. I've been censored.

If you're going to be a Zerg, at least be a lurker

Not some girl. Kerrigan is ruler of the Zerg swarm

Yeah. She also has boobs. Yeah, but no nipples

Hey Hey, what's up?

November's sure creeping up, ain't it? You can't stop that month

Hey, what's the jive with Angela and Phyllis helping with the party, you know?

Um

I just thought you could use some help, you know?

'Cause Robert came in and thought the party seemed a little kiddy.

And I guess I agreed And maybe we could

mix a little more 1 3 into the PG.

But that's it?

There's nothing about me or l?

Can we talk about it at the end of the day?

I got a call I got to make a call

Yeah, sorry Yes, we can

Yes. I don't know

Mm-hmm

Gabe? Sweet Erin

I'm throwing the Halloween party and I just want to amp it up a little.

I think it could use some extra pizzazz

Okay. Where does Gabe factor in?

Remember that Halloween party you took me to once?

The one where I started crying as soon as I walked in

and I didn't stop crying? Yes. Lars and Takako's

Okay, well let's say that I wanted this party to be a tiny

tiny bit like that one

just more adult, more scary and sexy

I will make this sexier than you could ever imagine

No, just scary. If we wanted ideas for scary stuff

No, that'd be scary What are you thinking about?

All right, let me go get it

Pam Halpert Hey. It's Jim Halpert.

I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight

'cause I've read a lot about this really great documentary

Is it called Ghostbusters? It's called Ghostbusters.

It didn't look like that

He didn't have a buster sign around him?

Why don't you draw him? Why don't we see this old man?

Okay. Yeah. Fine, I'll draw him Okay.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Whoa

Mm-hmm

Dwight, are you eating a stick? It's a root, idiot.

Okay

Everyone hates you. That's really rude

I don't tell you hurricanes suck even though it's true

What do you like, tornadoes? Try influenza

Yeah? What's the vaccine you could take to avoid a hurricane?

Open up a newspaper. Look, a hurricane's coming

I suppose you're going to tell me the scariest animal is a shark.

Try box jellyfish

What are we talking about?

I was talking about my wife and how she believes in ghosts

Then we had a little debate and then Meredith said that she believes in them too

You seem unimpressed. Ghosts don't scare you?

I'm only scared of real things, like serial killers and kidnappers.

Not things that don't exist like ghosts or mummies

Mummies are real There are mummies at museums

Yeah

You prank

It's true. They've been preserved for

thousands of years They're all over.

Why on Earth would a museum put a mummy in it?

A little witch's brew?

I grew this party up real fast.

Get out of here, little kid party. Nobody loves you.

And clean up your room Grownups are going to use it later

The party looks fun doesn't it?

Everybody seems to be in there having a great time

So maybe now would be a great time for me to pop back on the computer

I'm using it. I'm about to play StarCraft with him

You serious? Yeah, I'm serious

Hey, hey. That's funny

Okay. Loser

Pam, do you think anyone's going to notice I've worn this costume before

when I wasn't pregnant?

You know I guess nobody would believe it still fits.

Hey, guys, I'm an Oscar Liar Weiner

Oh, my God

Party's tight, E Fog is cool. Thanks

It's on medium Perfect

It really looks great You did a great job

Oh. So we don't have to have that talk?

We should still have that talk

Maybe you could come by my office at like 4:45?

Cool

Okay.

Okay, everybody,

be prepared to be scared

Okay

The Cinema of the Unsettling is a growing film movement.

The most well known film in the genre is an hour long shot

of a squirrel with diarrhea

Okay. Ew

Is that my grandmother?

What's the story? - There is no story.

Yeah, seems like there isn't a narrative.

Maybe the filmmaker realized that even narrative is comforting

What the he is going on here?

Okay, I think we've seen enough

You can turn it off now - Yeah

Yeah, kill it. go ahead and turn it off.

Thank you - How'd you get in my car?

Where is this from? That is so upsetting

That was awful Robert, I apologize

I'm sorry. I got confused I heard that you

wanted to make the party more adult but I think I know what to do now

This game is called "Pecker Poker.'

It's the game of cards that gets you hard.

What we have here is a classic misunderstanding.

Why didn't you simply ask Andy to clarify?

Asking is a very easy thing to do

The two of you are obviously very close

Oh, I see. This no longer seems like my business

All I knew is that

you wanted to have a talk with me at the end of the day

and I got nervous, so

You were going to talk at the end of

I'm not here

Did you think I was going to fire you?

No, I wasn't

I'm sorry This must be really uncomfortable for you

I'm never uncomfortable

Okay

Erin, I think you know I've been dating someone

Sure

And it's getting a little more serious

She's never come by, so And she's never called here

Unless it's your mom

No, I didn't want her to call because I thought it would be weird, but

now it's weird that she's not calling

Two dates?

Three dates?

Thirty-one

Wow

I'm so happy for you guys.

Um. Let me know when you get to 40

I'll see you guys

I should go

I just don't get it, Pam

I mean, you're a rational person Thank you.

Jim doesn't let me wash his NFL jersey during the playoffs

How is this any less logical? Careful. Whoa

First of all, it's not like I think that's going to help the Eagles win

Really? No.

That is just a bunch of people participating in a collective thing.

And maybe the Eagles will hear about it and want to play better. It's not

Exactly. Thank you

Go! Get up there right now.

Got it Dwight

You want to attack, or let them come to us? Your call, B.

Unleash the hell storm. - Dwight

Nice Dwight

Got 'em. Go

Is she Asian? I don't know. She's from somewhere, I bet

Maybe from the forest Forest?

Did Andy say his girlfriend's from the forest?

I don't know, Phyllis Maybe she's from the city

Looks terribly real doesn't it, Creed?

No Are you scared of snakes?

You don't live as long as I have

without a healthy fear of snakes, Bobby.

Yeah, I guess sometimes I have nightmares about being buried alive.

Honestly, Jim gives me the creeps

What am I up to?

Like a few years down the road, Cece says

"Mom, there's a ghost in my closet.'

Now you say one of two things One, "You're just having a bad dream."

Or two, "Let's go see what it wants."

I'm not going to freak her out, Jim

Okay I'm not going to lie to her either

Oh, come on When I was a boy,

there was an empty house just up the h from my family's

It was rumored a man committed suicide there

after being possessed by the devil

One day, a young woman, Lydia

moved into the house with her infant child.

That very night Lydia was awakened by a loud heinous hissing sound

She walked to the nursery and there in baby's crib was a snake

wrapped around baby's neck

squeezing tighter and tighter

Oh, my goodness The crib was full of dirt,

baby struggled to free itself from underneath

reaching and clawing gasping for air

Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi,

lurching toward baby

For they were mummies No.

Amongst them was a man

Tall, slim. Jim

Almost instinctively she turned to her husband

"Wait," she thought

"I don't have a husband.'

For Lydia and her husband had had an argument one they couldn't get past

Each night they slept one inch farther apart until one night Lydia left

It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds.

She had quit the book club the choir,

citing something about their high expectations

Her lips slowly grew together from disuse

Every time she wanted to act, and didn't,

another part of her face hardened until it was stone

And that fevered night she rushed to the nursery

and threw open the door "Baby, are you okay?"

Baby sat up slowly

turned to mother

and said

"I'm fine, bitch. I'm fine.'

Fear plays an interesting role in our lives.

How dare we let it motivate us?

How dare we let it into our decision making? Into our livelihoods.

Into our relationships.

It's funny, isn't it? We take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear.

Toby. Hey, Bert. Want to see the dance?

Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry...

You're fired

What? You heard me.

Pack your things

What? You can't Gabe? Are you

I'm the CEO's son

Pack your things You're done.