All language subtitles for Black.Sails.S01E01.BDRip.x264-DEMAND

(distant rumbling)

(men shouting)

Man: Sir, she's still closing.
We simply cannot outrun her.

We must surrender
while we still can.

Gun crews...
at the ready!

Gun crews at the ready!

(men shouting)

(men shouting)

- What are you doing?
- Sorry.

Why aren't you on deck
with the crew?

I think the better question is why
aren't they all down here with us?

You could get killed up there.

- Oh, so you're a coward, then?
- Yeah. You, too?

I'm no coward.
I'm a cook.

I've no quarters to man.

What do you think
the captain would do

if he found out
you've abandoned yours?

Well, if he's dead
and I'm alive,

I like my chances.

- Fire!
- Starboard side!

Man:
They shot the muskets!

Bear up, damn it!

- You're short!
- Bear up!

Sir, they are out of our range.

(cannonball whistling)

All crews, fire your...

(men screaming)

Get down!

You know who that is out there?

That ship flies the banner
of Captain Flint.

(thumping)

Isn't this your problem, too?

Good cooks are in short supply,
even for criminals.

But you, cowering below decks,
dodging a fight?

They'll gut you for sport.

(cannonfire blasting)

(men screaming)

Man:
It's breaking!

(screams)

Give me that.

- What is that?
- That's nothing.

That doesn't seem like nothing.

Well, maybe when
Captain Flint gets here,

we can let him decide.

You wouldn't want to do that.

No? Why not?

- Oh.
- (shouts)

- (gunshots)
- (grunting)

Fall back!

Fall back!

- Get up!
- Go!

Get out of the way.

(gunshots)

Close us in.

Sir, wait.
Mr. Fisher.

(groaning)

(gunfire continues)

Muskets at the ready.

(gunfire stops)

- (clattering)
- Fisher: Let me in, sir.

- Please, let me inside.
- Move away from that door!

- Sir, there may still be time.
- Move away from the door!

If we do not surrender now,
Flint will kill us all.

(Fisher pounding)
Please let me in!

Please, sir, open the door.

Open...
(groans)

(thumps)

(wood creaking)

(panting)

(man howling)

(men chanting)

(rhythmic pounding)

(pounding stops)

(rumbling)

(barrel thuds)

(all screaming)

(gasps)

(muffled shouting)

(muffled gunshots)

(grunts)

- (roars)
- (screams)

(screaming)

Man:
It's over... argh!

(shouts)

It's done.

Wouldn't you agree?

(theme music playing)

(men shouting)

Can't sell that.
Leave it here.

No.

Shit.

(screams)

- Grow up.
- (laughs)

What the fuck is this?

Well, it's blocked,
Mr. Gates.

Hello.

He couldn't handle the thought
of what you might do to him.

I, on the other hand,

would very much like
to join your crew.

My name is John Silver.

And I happen to be
a very good cook.

Know this...

now that the fight is over,

you have nothing more
to fear from us today.

Because we know this fight
was not of your making.

It was the choice
of our true enemy.

Your true enemy.

The tyrant captain.

Many of us once sailed
on ships like this one.

We know what it is
to be slaves to his whim,

his violence,

- his shit wages...
- (pirates laugh)

...his insufferable stupidity.

So we've made for ourselves
a different life

where we don't rely on wages,

we own a stake,

and where our pleasure
isn't a sin.

It's a virtue.

We also know what it's like
to see our brothers die

in the service of no end
other than a tyrant's pride.

This one wants to join.
Says he can cook.

Well, if he keeps that up, this one
won't be the only one looking to join.

- Today is a new day.
- Look at him.

Thinks he's captain already.

Today their crimes
have been exposed.

And they will be punished.

We made a full sweep of the hold

and we found eight more
casks of whale oil.

That's all?

Total tally 400.

500, if we manage
to sell the tobacco.

Cameron's broken his arm.
Duffy's been shot in the leg.

After injury payments,
we will net just under $8 per man.

$8?

The crew will not be happy.

When are they ever?

(sighs)

When their end is a hell
of a lot richer than $8.

Here, take a look.

Captain's log.
It's all there.

Vazquez, Port Royal.

Told you this was the ship.

Where is the schedule?

Minor obstacle.

But we're getting close.

Let me see if I have this right.

This is the fourth
prize in a row

from which the profits
will barely exceed

the expenses it took to win it.

Singleton's out there
trying to convince your crew

to torture that poor bastard
of a captain

simply 'cause he hasn't worked out
how to get them to do it to you.

But all is well
because you've discovered

that the information we can't tell
anybody we're looking for

exists on a page...
that we don't have.

Don't have yet.

(door opens)

Mr. Duffy is dead.

I removed the leg,
but he lost too much blood.

(men cheering)

Man:
Cut his cock!

- Ooh! Yeah!
- (cheering)

Is this necessary?

We paid a heavy toll today.
And for what?

We all know the prize won't come
close to evening the scales.

Someone ought to pay
the difference.

Talk to me about recruits.

(blade rings)

- What's he doing?
- Just give him a minute.

Where's the schedule?

What are you talking about?

The page that was
torn from your log.

If you know where it is,
now would be the time to say so.

Five? You want to bring on
five more men?

A carpenter,
two carpenter's mates,

a gunner's mate and the cook.

Hard to refuse a skilled hand.

Is it their hands you want?

Or their votes?

What a cunning bastard you are.

Squarely in
the captain's pocket,

yet you still got the crew believing
you're their advocate.

Shrewdest quartermaster
I've ever come across.

I wonder if you'll afford me
the same wide berth

you give that bastard
once I take his place.

You get the cook. That's all the ship
can afford right now.

I told you, I don't have it.

- One of my men must have taken it.
- Everyone was searched.

Damn it, if I knew more,
I'd tell you.

Now call off your men.

- Get off it. Get back.
- (laughing)

(scoffs) You can't, can you?

You're their captain,
but you have no control over them.

How long before
you're the one they tie to the mast?

I won't give you
the satisfaction of crying out.

Good for you.

Where are you going?

Justice is about to be done,

and you turn your back.

Man: Sail!

Man-o'-war.

Royal Navy.

The Scarborough.

Scarborough ports in Boston.

Not today she doesn't.

She's got the wind of us.

Cut us loose.
Get us under way.

(men shouting)

- (purring)
- My Betsy.

Randall.

We've taken on a new cook.

Randall, we were clear
this job was only temporary.

There's still plenty
for you to do.

He'll be all right.

So both watches mess together
at six bells. Don't be late.

Any supplies you need,
see Dufresne.

He'll fund you out of the ship's
maintenance account.

One more thing.

No one gets any special treatment
from you of any kind.

No extra rations,
no preferences in cuts of meat.

Not for me,
not for the quartermaster,

not for the captain.
Here, every man is equal.

- All right?
- Even him?

Randall was the ship's boatswain

before he got beaten to within an inch
of his life while taking a prize.

He lost his wits,
but not our loyalty.

We like Randall.

You, we'll see.

- He has the votes.
- Beg pardon?

Singleton, he has the votes
to remove you as captain.

Not every last one.
Haven't finished canvassing yet,

but when he gets ashore

and he doesn't have to be sneaky
about it, he'll get what he needs.

I thought you said
it would never get to this.

Now hang on.

I thought you said you put loyal men
in all the right places

- so the crew would never turn.
- No, no.

I never said never.
I'm too old to be using that word.

Don't give me that shit. I told you
there would be some lean days

while we tracked Parrish's ship.

You said the crew
would weather it.

Days. Lean days.

It's been three months
with no profits to speak of

and nobody knows
what it's all been for

because you don't trust them
with the truth.

I don't trust them
with the truth.

So here we are.

Singleton.

They think he has any idea how
to put money in their pockets?

All they know or care
about Singleton right now

is that he isn't you.

I just need a few more days.

The page is gone.
It could be anywhere.

What makes you think
all you need is a few more days?

I'm gonna go and see Richard.

He can help me
recreate the schedule.

- Richard Guthrie?
- Mm-hmm.

You think he's gonna help you?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Let's just for fun
say that he doesn't.

What then?

Then I'll forget
about the schedule

and go back to hunting
fat, lazy merchantmen

and everyone will be content.

This is one of those times

where we pretend that we both
don't know that you're lying.

(knocks)

Landfall.

We're home.

Is this English soil?

It was once.
Now it ain't.

Whose is it?

Ours.

(laughs)

Wait, I don't understand.
The captain asked for me to go?

Yes, in a manner of speaking.

He doesn't know
I'm coming, does he?

No, but I have business here,
so the job falls to you.

And what is the job exactly?

Captain's gonna ask
Richard Guthrie for a favor.

Mr. Guthrie
is going to say no.

When that happens, the captain
will most likely react poorly.

Your job is to restrain him.

Restrain him, you say?

No cargo moves off this island

without Mr. Guthrie's
ships and connections.

The last crew
that ran afoul of him

couldn't buy or sell shit
for two months.

That's an outcome
I'd like to avoid.

Wait.

He never listens to me.

Nonsense. You're a highly regarded
member of this crew.

And I can assure you

the captain regards your input
more than you know.

Billy's going with you.

Who's Billy?

What exactly
happens to all this?

It goes to the Guthries.

They pay up front for it,

take it someplace civilized
and sell it.

The Guthries?

Mate, no offense,

but the faster
we get this loaded,

the faster I can get up the hill

and into the arms of
my sweet, sweet Charlotte.

Your recipes?

I left them with our
captain for safekeeping,

but I don't see them with
the rest of the journals.

All the volumes
from the prize are here

unless the captain took it.

In which case,
it's in his cabin on the ship.

He likes his books.

- Is that him?
- Is this necessary?

He's just a cook.

He meets the new ones.
No exceptions.

Um, what's going on?

Who wants to meet me?

Blackbeard.

Whatever you do,
don't show fear.

You're not Blackbeard.

- Oh. I see.
- (pirates laughing)

If you get lost in there,
give us a yell.

- (laughing)
- (door closes)

Rules are rules.

And you are ours.

(men shouting)

Man:
Mr. Gates.

I need a moment with your boss.

(glass shatters)

Not a good time.

Woman:
Get the fuck out.

You want to run at first sign
of trouble, be my guest,

but don't expect me
to fucking help you.

And that goes for all of you.

If you want to hunt,
my door is open.

But if the mere whiff of the navy
is too much for you,

then God bless
and get the fuck out.

Man:
Fuck yourself, cunt.

(cup clatters)

Did you just
tell me to fuck myself?

Mr. Scott,
who is this man?

Mr. Sanderson.

Crews with Captain Burgess
of the Trinity.

How much was their last haul?

Scott: Nearly a thousand in profit.
Best tally in months.

Well, Mr. Sanderson.

Pleased to be in your company.

Do you know why?

Because you're an earner.

Can I tell you what happens
when I stand near an earner?

My pussy gets wet.

In which case,
I will go fuck myself.

(crowd cheering, laughing)

Mistress Guthrie.

Now what the fuck do you want?

I wish you'd get
control of your men.

They come in here spouting off

they've seen
His Majesty's Navy out there

and I have three crews
pulling orders

because they haven't got enough balls
to get back in the water.

I'll make sure to keep
that in mind, ma'am,

but right now the Scarborough
is the least of my concerns.

We have an agitator.

Fuck does that mean?

A challenger for the captaincy
of the Walrus

capitalizing on our friend's
recent rough patch.

I expect him
to call a vote soon.

I expect it to be close.

Flint's got morale problems.
What do you want me to do about it?

I need money
to shore up support.

You want a loan?

Flint's made you more money
than any captain here.

But lately he hasn't.

Yeah, well, that will change.
But mark my words,

without that money, the most
valuable captain on this island

will be out of a job tomorrow.

Think of it as an investment
in the future.

Scott: You steal cargo
at the end of a sword.

We sell that cargo to markets
that will never have you.

When you are strong,
you are a necessary evil.

When you are not strong,
you are likely soon to be dead.

But what you are not ever

is a sound investment.

How much would you need?

1,000 pieces of eight,
give or take.

Take this to Virgil.

He'll see that you
get what you need.

Thank you, ma'am.

What?

I'm wondering what it is

exactly you think
you just purchased.

It's my money, isn't it?

Must I answer
for how I spend it?

To me, no.

But this enterprise
belongs to your father.

And I do not believe
he would approve of this...

investment.

Well, then I suppose it's a good thing
that my father isn't here.

(knocking)

Mr. Smith
to see Mr. Guthrie.

He's not expecting me.

What does the crew
think of me, Billy?

Beg your pardon?

You're the ship's boatswain.

You know what's said
behind my back.

Um...

I know they've always
found me aloof,

too educated.

But now it seems
they feel I'm...

Too weak.

I was gonna say unlucky.

So that's the thinking.

We've been attacking ships
with light loads

because I'm too weak
to do otherwise.

Is that what you think?

I...

What the hell
are you doing here?

Now is that any way
to greet a friend?

I much prefer that way.

A sugar factor from Carolina.

Who purchases stolen
cargo from you

because he trusts me

because I have cultivated
his confidence.

And because I keep him from ever
having to lay eyes on you.

Then the sooner we get down
to business, the better.

(pipe music playing softly)

A whore for every finger
on your hand,

but your eyes
kept drifting to this.

Tell me, what is it
that is so precious to you?

One scream will bring
Mr. Noonan.

Bring him.

I'll let him know his whores like
to steal from their customers.

And he can let
your new captain know

you have withheld something
of great value

that rightly belonged
to his latest prize.

(chuckles)

So, what now?

This is to sell, is it not?

But you cannot know
who best to sell it to.

I could know that.

Hmm, and what's that
going to cost me?

- Half.
- (laughs)

Pleasure should be
shared equally.

It's the only way
to avoid hurt feelings.

Look, this deal,

it's really a terrible idea.

There are so many
ways it could go wrong.

Me, I can't help myself.

I see an opportunity, I take it.

It's a sickness. Truly.

But you, you can
still walk away.

Bien.

Now tell me what it is.

I don't know.

(speaks foreign language)

You're not going to throw
your support behind Singleton.

I wondered when
this visit would come.

The vote is closer
than you think.

I know this

because I bought
back 16 votes today.

Nelson's men are
always for sale.

Paying Muldoon got me the Welsh.

As of now, Singleton
is only up eight votes.

And you and your men hold nine.

So...

The captain's fate
is in our hands.

In your hands.
Your men vote with you.

And how much are you
willing to pay

for those votes?

(sighs) Well...

nothing.

Spent everything I had
getting this far.

Hmm.

Think about your men.

Think about their future.

Is it their future
you wish to protect

or your friend's?

What difference does it make?

And you will pay us, obviously,

from the very first
prize we take.

I assumed that went
without saying.

(music playing)

(men laughing)

You're in a festive mood.

What do you want, Rackham?

I'd hoped to toast your coronation
as captain of the Walrus.

Alas, I'm not so sure
that's where we're headed.

You should keep your distance
till I signal you to return for me.

If anything should happen
and I don't return soon...

- I leave.
- Smart girl.

Flint:
Let me tell you a story

about a Spaniard named Vazquez.

A few weeks ago he staggers
into a tavern on Port Royal.

Takes a seat next to
an English merchant captain.

Vazquez, it turns out, is dying.

Bleeding to death
from a knife wound to the belly.

The knife wound was courtesy

of his former employer,

La Casa Del Contratación,
in Seville.

Colonial intelligence.

Naval, more specifically.

One of their top agents
in the Americas.

Responsible for the security
of one particular ship.

A ship with a cargo so rich,

the king of Spain is very
anxious to see it launched.

Vazquez warned
that it was too late.

Storm season was upon them

and no escort could
be mustered to guard her.

But his superiors
demanded that he sign off.

They advised him that if he
couldn't arrange for an escort,

he should plot a course for the ship
unknown to anyone but her captain

and consider that route
to be a state secret

of the highest order.

When Vazquez refused
and threatened to report

his concerns to the court,

things got ugly.

The ship in question...

L'Urca de Lima.

The largest Spanish
treasure galleon

in the Americas.

According to Vazquez,

total cargo in excess

of $5 million.

Marvelous story, Captain.

And how exactly
did you come to hear it?

A spy in my employ in Port Royal

who overheard the conversation.

I must admit,
I harbored my doubts

to its authenticity
right up until yesterday

when I took the merchant
captain's ship

and found Vazquez's story
neatly written into his log.

Most impressive.

It sounds like your plan
is neatly resolved.

What could you possibly
want of me?

Not quite entirely resolved.

A page was torn from the log

with the Urca's course
and schedule written on it.

Now I could recreate it
from what's left,

but I'd need help.

Someone with expert knowledge
of Spanish operations.

Your man in Havana.

I need you to make
an introduction.

Absolutely not.

Five million Spanish dollars.

When I take that ship,
you stand to gain...

When you take it?

Do you have idea how heavily armed
that ship is?

- Even without an escort.
- The risk is all mine.

The risk is not all yours.

If I were to even
make inquiries about this

with colonial intelligence,
they'd see me dead.

You may have nothing to lose,

but I have a future planned

I'm not so willing
to throw away.

Let me make myself plain.

I will have that name.

(groans)

Billy, put your pistol
on Mr. Guthrie here.

- (groans)
- (pistol hammer clicks)

The name, please.

I'm telling you it is simply
out of the question.

- (cracks)
- (groans)

Captain!

(horse whinnies)

(hoofbeats approaching)

- Man: Hold here.
- Man ♪2: Aye, Captain.

What is it?

Servant: Captain Hume of His Majesty's
Ship the Scarborough.

Richard:
Captain Hume.

You've caught me at business.

I must ask you
to return another day.

My apologies,
Mr. Guthrie.

May I ask

what sort of business?

I'm sorry?

I asked what sort of business
you're conducting with these men.

Sugar merchants
from the colonies

with business I'd just as soon
conclude without interruption.

So please, if you'll excuse us.

Tell me something,
Mr. Guthrie.

Do you have gossip here?

Gossip?

I've often wondered
if it can survive

in so remote a location.

You see, gossip is what
holds civilization together.

It reinforces shame.

And without shame, well,

the world is a very
dangerous place.

I'm sorry.

I don't understand.

Do you know what the gossip
is in London about you?

The gossip is that
you make your profits

selling ill-gotten cargo

stolen by the pirates
of Providence Island.

There's no truth to that.

We'll certainly
find out, won't we?

Take them into custody.
All of them.

(grunting)

You told me you
and your men were with me.

You gave me your word.

I do what's best for my family.

I'm what's best for your family.

Flint has fucked us all
for long enough.

Can't you see that?

(shouts, groans)

(gurgling)

Captain Vane.

Eleanor:
Do I even want to know?

It's been a long day.

But I am up one vote.

Looks like Flint is safe.

Mr. Gates.

When he didn't return,
we came looking for him.

I found him here.

He said one word
before he died...

Vane.

Damn butcher.

Yeah, but did you figure
him for a clever one?

I know what you're thinking.

And we'd lose that fight.
At least today.

- Fuck that.
- Eleanor.

Eleanor!

(overlapping chatter)

Awfully pleased
with himself, isn't he?

Why shouldn't he be?
With Mosiah gone,

Flint no longer holds
the votes to remain captain.

Once the Walrus's men
realize Mr. Singleton's limitations,

we'll have a host of talented defectors
eager to swell our ranks.

And he only gets stronger.

He doesn't get shit
without you bringing up

that Singleton business
in the first place.

Yes, well, we all
have our roles to play.

- (grunts)
- I want to fuck.

What, because of what
I just said?

Fuck's it matter to you?

All right, then.

Miss Guthrie.

(crowd gasps)

- (grunts)
- Crowd: Ooh!

Now, would you like
to tell me what that was all about?

You fucked me tonight.

Flint, his captaincy,
I had an interest.

You'll live.

You'll make it right.

Why would I do that?

'Cause if you don't,
you're finished here.

I won't sell another
ounce of your cargo.

See how long you'll last
as captain

when your crew can't get paid.

Eleanor, your father
sells my cargo.

Whatever it is
you're so upset about,

I doubt he feels the same.

When I tell him you put our biggest
earner out of business, he'll...

Remind you that Flint
hasn't been your biggest earner

in quite some time.

You'll also be reminded
of what you've always known

but never accepted,
that if forced,

your father will always
choose profits over daughters.

Hate your father.
I wouldn't blame you.

Hate me, too, if you'd like.

And if you feel the need,
cling to Flint

and his legend and a past the rest
of us have long outgrown.

But make no mistake about it,

whatever future
this place has left,

I'm it.

And if you ever challenge me
again in front of my crew,

I may just forget
that I loved you once.

- (music playing)
- (chatter, laughing)

Have you found us a buyer?

Patience, Mon Cher.

Few here are willing
to cross your captain.

And those I have in mind

must be approached with caution.

Excuse me.

Who did this?

Him?

I started it.

(scoffs)

Why would you do this?

(winces) Please.

When the sea grows rough,

you come to Max.

Max is your harbor.

It's all coming apart.

This place, I can feel it
slipping away...

Shh.

You are so ready
to see the worst.

You cannot see

what is right in front
of your nose.

(gasping)

The world is so full
of surprises.

Let it surprise you.

(moaning)

What are you doing?

I don't believe any of the men
have ever met him face-to-face.

We'll need to find
a safe place to stash him

before he comes to
and starts talking.

But in the meantime, I certainly don't
want his clothes giving him away.

You're gonna pretend that
isn't Richard Guthrie?

Soon word of Guthrie's arrest

will hit the customs
houses of Charleston,

New York, and eventually Boston.

Sooner than later,
Nassau will be unable

to sell to any legitimate
market in the Americas.

I don't want the men
panicked about that

when I need them
focused on the Urca.

Jesus.
Can you hear yourself?

You spent months lying to us

about what it is
we're hunting out here.

And now when it's clear
it can't possibly succeed,

you want to keep lying.

Maybe Singleton is right.
Maybe it's time we made a change.

Think carefully.

What lies ahead, Mr. Singleton
cannot see you through.

And what is that?

There's a war coming, Billy.

One ship isn't a war.

One ship isn't what's coming.

That man Hume,

the captain of the Scarborough
told you as much.

When a king brands us pirates,

he doesn't mean
to make us adversaries.

He doesn't mean
to make us criminals.

He means to make us monsters.

For that's the only way
his God-fearing, taxpaying subjects

can make sense of men who keep
what is theirs and fear no one.

When I say there's a war coming,

I don't mean
with the Scarborough.

I don't mean
with King George or England.

Civilization is coming

and it means to exterminate us.

If we are to survive,

we must unite
behind our own king.

We have no kings here.

I am your king.

(whistling)

(crewmen murmuring)

The crew is assembled
for council.

Mr. Singleton
has called for a vote

to select himself
as the new captain of this crew.

I need a minute.

What happened with Richard?

Oh, Jesus.

I thought you said
you'd deal with this.

It fell through.

You need to figure out
what you're gonna say to them.

They don't care about
anything I have to say.

Well, you need to make 'em care!

Or I don't know
what happens next.

I can stall 'em
for a few more minutes.

And I am sorry.

(grunts)

(panting)

(crewmen murmuring)

(murmuring stops)

I'm sorry.

For the short hauls.

For the trouble I've caused.

But most importantly,

for the disregard
it seems I've shown you.

The most important element
of a healthy ship is trust.

Trust between men.

Trust between captain and crew.

Without it,

a ship is doomed.

For the past few months,

you and I have been on the trail

of a prize so rich,

it could upset the very
nature of our world.

And for that reason,
I felt it necessary

to keep it secret.

I didn't trust you.

And that was my mistake.

Right now I would like to tell you
that that prize

is within our grasp
and we are close.

So close.

But it would appear
that my concerns

about secrecy had merit.

Someone on this crew
discovered my plans...

and tore from this log
the very page

necessary to discover
that prize.

Stole it for their own gain.

Stole it from us.

And then

stoked your resentment
to cover his crime...

and make himself your captain.

What?

I don't know what
he's talking about.

That's a very serious
accusation, Captain.

Thievery is punishable by death.

As is a false accusal
of the same.

Then, as per the articles,

the accused has a choice.

He can submit to a trial.

With who as judge? You?

No.

No fucking way.

Then swords.

Perhaps it's better this way.

Be rid of you once and for all.

(shouting)

(crew cheering)

Crewman:
Come on!

Come on, Singleton!

Get up!

Come on!

(cheering)

(cheering stops)

(grunting)

(panting)

It's the stolen page.

(crew murmuring)

Friends,

brothers...

the prize that you and I
have been pursuing...

is L'Urca de Lima.

The Hulk.

A prize of almost
unimaginable value.

Now with this page securely
in our possession,

we can begin our hunt.

And we will succeed

no matter the cost.

No matter the struggle.

I will see that prize is yours.

I'm not just gonna
make you rich.

I'm not just gonna
make you strong.

I'm gonna make you
the princes of the New World.

(rhythmic pounding)

(crew chanting)
Flint! Flint! Flint! Flint!

Flint! Flint! Flint!

(cheering)

He's downstairs.

Can I help you?

Perhaps we can help each other.

I think I have something
you might want to buy.

(theme music playing)