Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,301
Welcome to Sheffield!
2
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:56,013
The beating heart
of Britain's industrial North!
3
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:59,809
The jewel in Yorkshire's crown
is home to over half a million people,
4
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:04,856
and thousands more
flock here daily to shop and to work.
5
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,775
All this is built on
Sheffield's primary industry,
6
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:09,944
steel.
7
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,405
The city's rolling mills, forges,
8
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,408
and workshops employ some 90,000 men
9
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:19,746
and state-of-the-art machinery
to make the world's finest steel.
10
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,539
From high-tensile girders
11
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:26,085
to the stainless cutlery
for your dining table.
12
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:29,172
But it's not all hard work
for the people of Steel City.
13
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:32,091
They can spend the day
lounging by the pool,
14
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,886
watching one of our top soccer teams,
15
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:38,014
or browsing in the shops.
16
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:44,771
But when the sun goes down,
the fun really starts
17
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,690
in the city's numerous
nightclubs and discotheques.
18
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:51,819
Yes, Yorkshire folk know
how to have a good time!
19
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:54,572
And it's good times
for the city's housing, too!
20
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,991
Sheffield leads the way in town planning.
21
00:01:57,075 --> 00:02:01,871
Victorian slums have been cleared
to make way for the homes of the future.
22
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,292
Thanks to steel,
23
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,211
Sheffield really is
24
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,880
a city on the move!
25
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:33,986
Gaz, who's gonna buy a rusty girder?
26
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,364
- Come on.
- Dad, it's stealing!
27
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,075
No, it's liberating, love. Liberating.
28
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,285
Gaz, hang on.
29
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,666
Ten years we worked in here. Now look.
30
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,794
- What if we get caught?
- You don't get a record till you're 16.
31
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,088
- Just don't tell your mum.
- Hey, listen.
32
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:54,924
Music.
33
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,098
Bloody hell!
34
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:11,732
- What are they doing?
- lt's the works band. lt's still going.
35
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,819
About only thing round here that is.
36
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,781
'Ey up! Security guard's back.
37
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,917
"Won't take a minute," he says.
38
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,086
"Won't take a minute." Now what?
39
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,297
Shut up. l'm thinking.
40
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,467
Can't we do normal things sometimes?
41
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,595
This is normal! lsn't it, Dave?
42
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,722
Oh, aye. Everyday stuff, this.
43
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,849
l think this bugger's sinking.
44
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,812
Pick it up,
and try and slide it across other side.
45
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,147
That's it.
46
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,233
Oh, fucking hell, Nathe!
47
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:59,071
They're 20 quid each, them!
That were your bloody maintenance!
48
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,240
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, nice one.
49
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,117
Nathe!
50
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,660
Nathan!
51
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,496
- Fucking hell!
- Come 'ere, come 'ere!
52
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,166
Jesus! Stay still.
53
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,335
Stay still, stay still.
54
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,171
All right.
55
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,967
What's your initiative got to say
about this, then, bog eyes?
56
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,555
'Ey up, there's someone coming.
57
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,351
- All right?
- Aye, not so bad.
58
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,021
"Not so bad"?
59
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,565
"Not so bad"?
That's not much of a chuffing SOS!
60
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:37,693
All right, don't get a benny on.
61
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,948
Shit!
62
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,914
Me jeans are bloody soaking!
63
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,874
You should have taken your kit off.
64
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:57,004
- What's up? Are you shy?
- Don't! Shut it, all right?
65
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,089
'Ey up, Dave.
66
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,257
- All right, babe?
- Dad!
67
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,928
What do you reckon, Dave?
Eight? Maybe even a nine.
68
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,931
- You can never tell till you see their tits.
- Dad!
69
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:10,434
- What's all this?
- lt's them Chippendale efforts.
70
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,811
You what?
71
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,188
Them dancers.
Mum were going on about it.
72
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:17,733
Oh, you're joking!
She must be getting desperate.
73
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,112
- You all waiting for me, then?
- Yeah! To go home.
74
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:24,031
You know where to find me
when you tire of them poofs.
75
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,701
- Dad!
- Come on, Gaz, l'm freezing.
76
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,495
"Women only"?
77
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,498
Cheeky buggers!
lt's a bloody working-men's club!
78
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,959
l mean, look at the state of that!
79
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,836
What have you got to smile about?
80
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,671
He's got no willy, for starters.
81
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,841
Nowt in a gym'll help you there, mate!
82
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:44,677
No decent woman would
be seen dead in there.
83
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,554
Jean would.
84
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:49,724
Oh, Dave, what's going on?
85
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,058
lt's her money, innit?
86
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:56,689
Fucking hell! You'll let some poof wave his
tackle at your missis? Where's your pride?
87
00:05:56,773 --> 00:06:01,527
She's already got you hoovering! I saw it
and I let it go! But this? No, no, no.
88
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,655
- Get her out of there.
- lt's women only.
89
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,077
Hurry up, will you?
Me feet have gone numb.
90
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:14,331
That's gratitude for you! We're riding
into Alley of Death for you, you fat git.
91
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,626
lt's not my fault I can't fit through.
92
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,130
Right, then. I'll wait 'ere and keep guard.
93
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,675
Find Auntie Jean and tell her
Uncle Dave wants a word outside.
94
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,178
- Do I have to?
- Good kid. On you go.
95
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,408
Off! Off! Off!
96
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,546
l'm not waiting in that bloody queue.
97
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,132
l always wanted a nosy
in the men's toilets.
98
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:07,301
Phwoar! Them bloody muscles!
99
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,387
lt's not their bodies, Bee.
lt's what they do with 'em.
100
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:14,517
l don't know what you're worrying about,
with you-know-who on your tail.
101
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,646
Frankie! Do you want my body?
102
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:24,360
Frank don't fancy me and I don't
fancy Frank, right? So give over!
103
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,030
Do you think he might, though?
104
00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:34,537
No. Couldn't do that to Dave.
105
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,289
Not even if I wanted to.
106
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:40,584
But... you know, it's like he's given up.
107
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:43,963
Work. Me. Everything.
108
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,965
Ah, love.
109
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,967
'Ere, love. This'll cheer you up.
110
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:59,603
l weren't in Girl Guides for nowt!
111
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,997
Gaz!
112
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,249
Gaz! That were our Jean, weren't it?
113
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,878
No, no. Just a couple of old tarts.
l'm going back in for Nathe.
114
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,969
You're in big trouble.
115
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,096
What about Auntie Jean?
116
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,351
Auntie Jean's busy.
117
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,695
l don't feel well.
118
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:53,490
Of course you don't! You've got a
hangover. Take a day off. Stay at home.
119
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:56,785
Your house is messy. And it's cold.
120
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,246
Come down job club.
That'll be a right laugh.
121
00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,873
Mum's house is always warm.
122
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,542
l can't always
have the red carpet out for you.
123
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:08,130
Anyway, it's not your mum's house.
lt's whatshisname... Barry's.
124
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:12,051
Tell you what. Next weekend
l'll have a big tidy round. I promise!
125
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,677
Even go and see a footie game.
126
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,347
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Sunday League down the park.
127
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,390
There's some right good players.
128
00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:20,976
United are playing Man U, aren't they?
129
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,145
You know I can't stretch to that.
130
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:26,523
You're always making me do
stupid stuff like last night.
131
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,692
Other dads don't do that.
132
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,445
Don't they?
133
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,656
- Aye.
- Aye.
134
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,619
Nathe!
135
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,372
We could try and sneak into Man U.
Terry said...
136
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,539
No!
137
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,417
All right! l'll... I'll get tickets! I will!
138
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,879
Ooh! Aah! Cantona!
Has to wear a girlie bra!
139
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,342
We'll stuff 'em, Nathe.
140
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,055
Fuck!
141
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:07,231
l want the application letters finished
by the time I get back.
142
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,733
Any problems, l'm outside.
143
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:21,036
l tell you, when women
start pissing like us, that's it.
144
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,289
We're finished, Dave.
145
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,457
Extincto.
146
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,710
Yeah, I mean...
147
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,129
How? You know...
148
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,172
- How?
- Genetic mutations.
149
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,340
They're turning into us.
150
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:38,429
A few years and men won't exist.
Except in a zoo or summat.
151
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,806
We're not needed no more, are we?
152
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,726
Obsolete. Dinosaurs.
153
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,436
Yesterday's news.
154
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,940
Like skateboards.
155
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,777
Button it!
Some of us are trying to get a job.
156
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,446
And it says no smoking in 'ere.
157
00:10:55,572 --> 00:11:00,868
Aye, and it says job club up there. When
did you last see one of them walk in?
158
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:04,288
You forget, Gerald,
you're not our foreman now.
159
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,206
You're just like the rest of us.
160
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,460
- Scrap.
- Shut it, right?
161
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,047
Hang on, though.
162
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:16,675
Why were all them women
int' working-men's club int' first place?
163
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,678
Now then! Cos of us. Men.
164
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,972
You call them Chippendales men?
165
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,640
Degrading, that's what it were.
166
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,477
How many lassies were there, though?
167
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,645
Thousands. Baying for blood.
168
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:32,608
Ten quid to watch some fucking poof
get his kit off! Ten quid!
169
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:37,363
Times ten quid by a thousand, right?
And you've got...
170
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,366
Yeah, well, a lot. A very lot.
171
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,036
10,000 quid.
172
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,208
- How much?
- 10,000 quid.
173
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:56,215
'Ey, now, Dave, I mean...
lt's worth a thought, though, innit?
174
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:02,096
Little And Large prancing round Sheffield
with their widgers out!
175
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,931
That would be worth ten quid!
176
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,392
Don't be so bloody daft.
We were just saying...
177
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:11,605
- Widgers on parade! Bring a microscope!
- I don't see why the chuff not!
178
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:16,568
Because you're fat and he's thin,
and you're both fucking ugly.
179
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,737
Bastard!
180
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,669
What's all this about sole custody?
181
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,047
You know what. lf you want
joint custody, you pay your share.
182
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:40,426
- 700 quid.
- l'm ont' dole, in case you hadn't noticed!
183
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:45,013
- Get a job! I'll gi' you a job!
- £2.50 an hour in Black Hole of Calcutta!
184
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,807
No, thank you.
185
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:51,687
lf you want to play your games, do that,
but Nathan's gonna have two parents now.
186
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,814
And your live-in lover's gonna do that?
187
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,567
Abracadabra, here he is! Evening, Barry.
188
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,236
That'll be for t'court to decide.
189
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:03,407
No, it won't. Nathan's yours and mine.
He's fuck-all to do with him!
190
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:08,829
- As if you've ever given a toss.
- Face it. He don't like staying at yours.
191
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,207
Course he bloody does! Ask him!
192
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,459
Ask him!
193
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,044
Oi, Nathe! We have a laugh, don't we?
194
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,173
- Gary! Don't!
- ls he in?
195
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,008
ls he in?
196
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,551
Nathe!
197
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,181
He can't hear you through your...
triple bloody glazing.
198
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,224
He can hear all right.
199
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,644
This... This is all wrong, this is.
200
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:36,106
lt's all to fucking cock.
l'm his dad, and you...
201
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,608
You're nobody.
202
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,776
Goodnight, Gary.
203
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,333
Night, Nathe!
204
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,419
See you, kid!
205
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,513
No. Not doing it.
206
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,766
- l'm not stripping.
- They're taking him away.
207
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,227
All I need is 700 quid
and they've got nowt on me.
208
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:16,813
- Gaz, no.
- Dave, he's me kid!
209
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,607
l suppose there's nicking cars.
210
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,693
- No!
- Well, then?
211
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,821
Look, I'll help, all right?
l'm running, aren't l?
212
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:26,698
But l'm taking nowt off. Final.
213
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,867
Come on, Dave. Don't stop now.
214
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:32,287
- Keep up, you fat bastard!
- Gazza, you tosser!
215
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,131
Do you need a hand?
216
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,684
Yeah, it's your HT leads, I reckon.
217
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,479
Give it a go at that.
218
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,156
Didn't you work at Harrisons
afore it shut down?
219
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,201
Ah! I thought I clocked you!
220
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,913
l were ont' floor with Gaz.
Him up the road.
221
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,583
How's it going, then?
222
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,334
You got any work?
223
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,672
No, there's not a lot about.
224
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,884
Well, like I say,
get some new ones when you can.
225
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,345
No, no, my chuffing pleasure!
226
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,525
Dave?
227
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,955
- Are you all right, kid?
- You bastard!
228
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,254
'Ey! 'Ey!
229
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,895
You could shoot yoursen.
230
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,397
Where's he gonna find
a gun from round 'ere?
231
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,526
You wanna find yourself a big bridge.
232
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:31,948
Yeah. Like one of them bungee jumps,
only without the bungee bit.
233
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,326
l can't stand heights, me.
234
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,252
Drowning. Now there's a way to go.
235
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,298
l can't swim.
236
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:52,928
You don't have to fucking swim, you divvy.
That's the point.
237
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,430
You're not very keen, are you?
238
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,766
Sorry.
239
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,309
l know.
240
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:05,148
Stand in the middle of t'road and get
a mate to drive smack into you right fast.
241
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,528
Haven't got any mates.
242
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:14,116
We just saved your fucking life,
so don't tell us we're not your mates!
243
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,120
- Yeah?
- Yeah, me an' all.
244
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:21,123
l'd run you down soon as look at you.
245
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,542
Oh, cheers.
246
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,461
Ta.
247
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:30,632
Thanks a lot.
248
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,068
- What are you doing, Mum?
- Where have you been?
249
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,070
Driving.
250
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,699
- Driving where?
- Just driving.
251
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,119
l thought you'd gone.
252
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:03,415
Security guard in 'ere?
No wonder he wants to kill himself.
253
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:08,336
Well, at least one bloke got a job
out of this place being shut down.
254
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:11,757
What did you tell him for, anyroad?
The kid's a nutter.
255
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,259
He's a bugle player.
256
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,721
Could come in right handy.
Might need a bit of music.
257
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:21,183
He's got a car. Somewhere to practice.
258
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,729
Besides, it's good whatsitsname
for the lad... Therapy.
259
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:29,316
Oh, aye!
Jiggling about in the buff. Therapy!
260
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,235
l tell you, he won't be the only one
trying to top himself
261
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,404
if you carry on wi' this caper.
262
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,990
Dad, l'm hungry.
263
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,201
'Ey up!
264
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,876
'Ey! Lomper!
265
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,880
- Where's me rice?
- Try the cylinder head... tubby.
266
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,550
l don't like Chinese.
267
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,969
'Course you do... Don't you?
268
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:02,724
- Let's see his records.
- What have we got, Dave?
269
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,893
"The Floral Dance."
270
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,231
- "Marching With Hepworth"?
- Jesus Christ!
271
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,983
Ah, Hot Chocolate! Now we're talking!
272
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,361
l believe in miracles
273
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,154
Since you came along
274
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,156
You sexy thang
275
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:20,659
Stick it on, Daverimo! l'm there.
276
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,758
Dad! Dad, don't.
277
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:41,221
lt's all right, Nathan.
lt's right, is this. l've seen 'em do it.
278
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,849
- Good evening, shoppers...
- Dave!
279
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:46,017
All right, all right.
280
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,855
"You Sexy Thing." One, two...
281
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:44,534
- I need an audience.
- You need a doctor.
282
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:53,251
l tell you,
there's summat up wi' that kid.
283
00:20:57,173 --> 00:21:00,091
- Did you check the whole top end?
- Yeah!
284
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,260
There's no point. He went out.
285
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,846
- You what?
- I seen him go.
286
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,058
There's the beggar.
287
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,977
Oi, Nathe!
288
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,979
Nathan!
289
00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,523
Nathan.
290
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,653
Hell-fire!
291
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:23,198
- What are you doing out here, kid?
- Nowt. Walking home.
292
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,368
lt's miles home! You know that!
293
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,954
Why did you run off like that?
294
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,959
You're embarrassed, aren't you?
295
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:37,212
You think your own dad's a dickhead.
296
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:41,883
We're not doing this for a laugh,
you know.
297
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,135
l'm trying to get some brass together
298
00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:48,056
so as you and me can keep
seeing each other.
299
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,351
They're trying to stop us, you see.
300
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,228
Oh, well, I may as well not bother.
301
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,397
Except l'm your dad.
302
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:01,069
lt counts for something, don't it?
303
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,075
l like you.
304
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,246
l love you, you bugger.
305
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,583
All right, kid?
306
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,759
- All right?
- Yeah.
307
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,014
You nutter.
308
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:42,652
- Well, you said dancing.
- lt were a great idea, kid.
309
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:45,822
Just not the right sort of dancing.
310
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,575
Gaz! 'Ey, look 'ere.
311
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:51,828
Oh, my God!
312
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:54,539
Gerald, me lad, you're gonna be
famous down job club.
313
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,374
He's not bad for a bastard, is he?
314
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:59,335
He's dead, that's what he is.
315
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:08,178
You said you wanted a dance teacher.
316
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:10,055
Gerald? Go get chuffed!
317
00:23:10,139 --> 00:23:14,434
He'd tell every bugger!
We'd be laughed out of Sheffield.
318
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,728
'Ey up, lads. Bandits at six o'clock.
319
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,858
Ah, come in, Torvill.
320
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:23,902
Park your sequins over 'ere.
321
00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:27,489
- You've had your laugh. Now piss off.
- lt's a free country.
322
00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:30,909
- You were rather good. Nifty footwork.
- Gerald!
323
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,036
Oh, hello.
324
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:39,626
- Gerald, you're missing the rumba.
- Sorry, I just met some pals from... work.
325
00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:43,671
- Not thinking ofjoining our class?
- Funny you should mention it...
326
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:47,842
- I think we'd better be getting back now.
- Well, goodnight.
327
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:52,639
You get back to your rumba.
See you later, Gerald.
328
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,100
At work.
329
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,622
He's got gnomes.
330
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,959
Aye, he bloody would have.
331
00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:25,421
Things looking up?
332
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:27,340
You know, love, I think they just might be.
333
00:24:27,424 --> 00:24:28,716
Good.
334
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,677
You've been working too hard.
335
00:24:30,761 --> 00:24:34,764
You should let a colleague
do the lion's share for a change.
336
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:38,560
- I wish you'd be firmer, Gerald.
- Oh, well. Mustn't be late.
337
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:41,771
- So it's all right if l...
- Oh, Linda, love...
338
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:45,400
Oh, don't be so mean!
Things are looking up. You said so.
339
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,569
You'll love skiing.
340
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:52,282
Linda...
341
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:57,912
lt don't matter. Bye.
342
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:06,087
'Ey, Gaz.
343
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:16,014
- Off to the office, Torvill?
- Yes, I bloody am!
344
00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:18,183
Put that back. Put it back!
345
00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:23,396
See that? lnterview.
ln the bloody bag. Mate from Harrisons.
346
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,857
l could do the job standing on me head.
347
00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:28,151
l won't have
to look at your ugly mugs again.
348
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,862
- Come on, we just need some help.
- Sorry.
349
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:33,323
There's nothing I can do to help you.
350
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,575
Just wanna know about dancing.
351
00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,661
Dancers have coordination, skill,
352
00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:41,706
timing, fitness and grace.
353
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,500
Take a long hard look in the mirror.
354
00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:47,337
Now, l'm busy.
355
00:25:47,463 --> 00:25:49,839
Don't be late for job club, lads.
356
00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:53,301
Bastard!
357
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:59,641
Starting at £16,000,
plus the pension scheme.
358
00:25:59,725 --> 00:26:04,562
lt'll be a relief to get back to work.
lt's not been an easy six months.
359
00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:07,732
l'm up to date with
the latest industry developments,
360
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:10,526
and l've kept meself...
361
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:16,199
busy, you know.
362
00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:19,869
Well, all the qualifications
are there, obviously.
363
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:23,331
And we go back further
than I care to remember.
364
00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,542
Sorry?
365
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:35,093
What we're asking, Gerald, is...
366
00:26:35,177 --> 00:26:40,265
after such a long lay-off,
do you think you're up to the job?
367
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:46,604
You... !
368
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,690
- Bastard!
- Fucking hell!
369
00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:54,570
'Ey, Gerry, mate...
370
00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:58,783
- You didn't get it, then?
- Get out the way! Come 'ere!
371
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:01,869
Bastard! That were mine, that job!
372
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,789
You don't give a toss! You're kids!
373
00:27:04,873 --> 00:27:08,668
lt's different for me! l've got
a standard of living! Responsibilities!
374
00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:11,713
l were on me way up! I am on me way up!
375
00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:17,468
lt were me first interview in months!
376
00:27:17,553 --> 00:27:21,889
l could've got me first month's in advance.
She'd never have known.
377
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,391
Now what?
378
00:27:23,475 --> 00:27:26,060
She's still got credit cards, you know.
379
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:32,775
She's out there now, ont' High Street,
with a fucking MasterCard, spending!
380
00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,944
Why can't you just tell her?
381
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:39,240
How can I tell her after six months?
382
00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:43,411
A woman who wants to go skiing
for us holidays!
383
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,417
Skiing, for fuck's sake!
384
00:27:52,254 --> 00:27:55,173
Why did you do it? lt was my job!
385
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:58,843
lt had to be my... job!
386
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:42,011
Can't you just leave me alone?
387
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:56,692
We stuck it with superglue.
388
00:28:56,819 --> 00:28:58,903
You can't hardly see t'join.
389
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,245
- Go on.
- Oh, yeah.
390
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:12,208
We got this int' jumble, like, to say sorry.
391
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:16,838
Wheels go round and everything.
392
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:23,010
lt's for your gnomes, really. Not you.
393
00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,304
l...
394
00:29:25,389 --> 00:29:28,015
l don't know...
395
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:32,186
lt's marvelous, this.
396
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,776
We were thinking...
397
00:29:38,861 --> 00:29:41,654
you can maybe put it next to...
wishing well.
398
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:43,865
Make a bit of a...
399
00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:47,034
- Feature.
- Yeah.
400
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,203
What do you reck?
401
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,877
Ta, lads.
402
00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:59,547
Ta very much.
403
00:30:02,426 --> 00:30:05,261
Cigarette me, for fuck's sake.
404
00:30:07,598 --> 00:30:10,516
Think any of them could dance?
405
00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:14,437
You're not still on about
this Chippendales malarkey, are you?
406
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:17,899
A Yorkshire version.
Them buggers can, we bloody can.
407
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:20,985
- You can't dance.
- We know, Gerald.
408
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:25,573
- Gaz, niner on its way.
- Why do you think we're trailing you?
409
00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,618
lt's not my kind of dancing.
lt's all arse wiggling.
410
00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:30,578
l've got a degree in arse wiggling, mate.
411
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:33,956
You learn us dancing,
l'll learn you the rest.
412
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:37,627
Gerald, for once, l'm dead serious.
l need your help.
413
00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:41,672
What if someone spots me? What if
Linda finds out? l've got standing, me.
414
00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:43,299
You've an overdraft an' all.
415
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,067
l'm sorry. Sorry.
416
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,529
l thought l'd give it a go.
417
00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:49,699
l got a bit desperate. You know how it is.
418
00:31:49,825 --> 00:31:53,077
l can't even take my kit off properly, can l?
419
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:56,247
You're all right, Reg.
There's some tea if you like.
420
00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:58,374
No, thanks. The kids are outside.
421
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:00,293
Bring 'em in.
422
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:02,044
No.
423
00:32:02,713 --> 00:32:04,839
This is no place for kids.
424
00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,225
This is crazy.
425
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:20,938
So,
426
00:32:21,023 --> 00:32:22,857
it's Mr. Horse.
427
00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:25,568
Horse.
428
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:26,902
Yeah, well...
429
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:30,031
Just a minute, Mr. Horse.
My colleagues on the panel...
430
00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:32,908
Ask him why he's called the Horse.
431
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:37,830
You bloody ask him!
lt's not cos he does the Grand National.
432
00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:40,166
That's all very well,
but a big wanger is no use
433
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:42,835
if you need a zimmer frame to tout it in.
434
00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:44,962
l mean, he must be 50 if he's a day.
435
00:32:45,047 --> 00:32:48,382
So, Horse, what can you do?
436
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,844
Dunno, really.
437
00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:54,847
Let's see, there's the...
438
00:32:54,931 --> 00:32:56,474
There's the bump.
439
00:32:56,558 --> 00:33:00,061
The stomp. The bus stop.
440
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,438
Me breakdancing days are probably over.
441
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:05,399
- But I do the funky chicken.
- Now you're talking!
442
00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:08,444
- All of 'em?
- Well, yeah. I think so.
443
00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:12,156
Well, it's been a while, mind.
And l've got this dodgy hip.
444
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,866
Yeah.
445
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,827
Well, stick it on, Nathe.
Do your worst, pal.
446
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:05,042
My favorite film's "Singing lnt' Rain".
That walking-up-wall thing is ace!
447
00:34:05,127 --> 00:34:08,129
He knows me.
He plastered our bathroom a while back.
448
00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:10,089
- Get rid of him.
- You'll be fine.
449
00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,591
- He'll blow my cover.
- Shut up!
450
00:34:12,676 --> 00:34:15,678
- What walking-up-wall thing?
- I'll show you.
451
00:34:15,804 --> 00:34:17,888
l'm Donald O'Connor, right?
452
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:22,977
That's the wall.
453
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,991
Oh, well...
454
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,702
lt's better than that in the film, you know.
455
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:44,373
So... you don't sing?
456
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:46,208
No.
457
00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:49,920
- You don't dance?
- No.
458
00:34:50,005 --> 00:34:54,675
Hope you don't think l'm being nosy,
but... what do you do?
459
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,844
Well...
460
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:59,013
There is... this.
461
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:12,401
Gentlemen, the lunchbox... has landed.
462
00:35:19,034 --> 00:35:20,159
Chuffing Nora!
463
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:22,703
All right, Gerald? I didn't see you!
464
00:35:23,747 --> 00:35:25,206
l did his bathroom.
465
00:35:27,918 --> 00:35:29,251
Hello, Guy.
466
00:35:29,377 --> 00:35:31,086
Nathe...
467
00:35:31,213 --> 00:35:33,422
Nathan!
468
00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:40,221
- I say, Jean!
- Yeah?
469
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:42,389
Ever been out with a black bloke?
470
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:46,143
- You know I haven't, Dave.
- But...
471
00:35:46,228 --> 00:35:48,729
lf you
were ont' lookout for a new fella, right?
472
00:35:48,814 --> 00:35:51,106
lf you were, just saying,
473
00:35:51,233 --> 00:35:53,275
would you think about it?
474
00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:55,444
What's got into you?
475
00:35:56,780 --> 00:35:58,906
No, would you, though?
476
00:35:59,908 --> 00:36:01,784
l might do. Yeah.
477
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:04,245
ls that all right?
478
00:36:04,329 --> 00:36:06,789
- So it's true.
- l've bloody had enough of this.
479
00:36:06,915 --> 00:36:08,749
What's true?
480
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,335
What they say about black blokes.
481
00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:13,462
They've got great bodies and that.
482
00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:15,631
Some of 'em. Yeah.
483
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:19,844
And?
484
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:22,513
Nothing.
485
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:27,977
David... I don't care if they're black,
white, or bloody rainbow-colored.
486
00:36:28,103 --> 00:36:31,313
l'm married to you. Remember?
487
00:36:31,439 --> 00:36:33,482
Yeah.
488
00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:39,280
Night.
489
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:45,035
Why would I want anyone else?
490
00:36:45,996 --> 00:36:48,122
Big man.
491
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:55,546
Jeanie,
492
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:57,715
l'm all in.
493
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:04,346
lt's amazing how tiring it is doing nowt,
you know.
494
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,962
They're just messing, Dave.
495
00:37:37,047 --> 00:37:39,173
- Do you reckon?
- 'Course!
496
00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,342
Just Jean, innit?
497
00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:46,931
- Got any of them mint chocolate jobs?
- You're on a diet.
498
00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:51,268
- Don't you start an' all.
- How much you got, then?
499
00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:56,106
22... 27 pence.
500
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:59,902
£4.99, special offer.
We're still a fucking fiver short.
501
00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:02,947
You know what this means, Dave?
502
00:38:03,031 --> 00:38:05,115
Oh, no! Come on, Gaz. Why me?
503
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,827
You've got an innocent face.
l've got serial killer written on mine.
504
00:38:08,912 --> 00:38:11,830
lf you won't dance,
you can do something useful.
505
00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:14,291
Jean'll throw an eppy!
She's only over there!
506
00:38:14,376 --> 00:38:18,545
She's miles away!
See you later. Good luck.
507
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:22,800
- Give us a pear drop, you.
- They're not paid for.
508
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,355
Hey, what's this?
509
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:21,859
l didn't go on the nick in Asda
for some chuffing women's DlY video.
510
00:39:21,943 --> 00:39:24,445
lt's Flashdance, Dave. She's a welder.
511
00:39:24,529 --> 00:39:27,489
l hope she dances better than she welds!
512
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,576
- Look at that! Her mix is all to cock.
- Shut up, Dave.
513
00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:34,288
- What do you know about welding?
- More than some chuffing woman!
514
00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,957
lt's like Bonfire Night.
Too much acetylene.
515
00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:39,084
Them joints won't hold fuck all.
516
00:39:39,169 --> 00:39:42,379
For Christ's sake,
we're looking for dancing.
517
00:39:42,464 --> 00:39:44,339
He's got the hump about Asda.
518
00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:47,134
'Ey, cop a load of that.
519
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:53,682
What did I tell you?
She's nifty on her pins.
520
00:39:57,145 --> 00:40:00,230
That, gentlemen,
is what we are looking for.
521
00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:04,485
Oh, aye. I can just see him doing
all that twizzling-about bollocks.
522
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:09,031
lt's souped-up tango, is that. Teach
any bugger in a week. Even you, mate.
523
00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:11,408
Even a fat bastard like me?
524
00:40:11,493 --> 00:40:14,328
Yeah, I know what I am,
so don't take the piss.
525
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:18,749
All right. Two weeks.
526
00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:21,668
Straight up.
527
00:40:28,843 --> 00:40:31,804
l dunno, Gaz. Jean reckons...
528
00:40:31,888 --> 00:40:34,598
l should take that security-guard job
at Asda.
529
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:37,017
Jesus! Security?
530
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:38,727
You're worth more than that.
531
00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:40,896
She don't think so.
532
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:44,149
l reckon summat's going on
with her and that bloke.
533
00:40:44,234 --> 00:40:45,859
The juggling bugger?
534
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:48,070
No. No way.
535
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:50,239
lt's not as if l'd blame her.
536
00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:52,407
You could show her, Dave.
537
00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:56,912
Nobody tells them Chippendales
to do security. Raking it in, they are!
538
00:40:57,038 --> 00:41:01,750
Two weeks. That's what the man said,
and he's not taking the piss.
539
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,710
Aye, it's a thought.
540
00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:05,754
lt's more than a thought.
541
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:09,883
Think of Jean's face when
she sees you dancing like Flashdance.
542
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:13,679
Two weeks? Just like flashy tits?
543
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:15,889
lt's what your man said.
544
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:20,894
'Ey... I can weld better than her an' all.
545
00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:25,274
Stop! No, no! Stop! Stop!
546
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,153
- What?
- You stay still!
547
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:32,239
And you... go forward, OK?
548
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:34,241
- OK.
- All right, Nathan.
549
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:43,083
No, no, no! Jesus Christ!
550
00:41:43,168 --> 00:41:47,462
All I want to do
is get you in a straight bloody line!
551
00:41:47,589 --> 00:41:49,506
What do I have to do?
552
00:41:49,591 --> 00:41:51,800
lt's the Arsenal offside trap, isn't it?
553
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:55,179
- You what?
- The Arsenal offside trap.
554
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,389
Lomper here is Tony Adams, right?
555
00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:59,391
Any bugger looks like scoring,
556
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:04,062
we all step forward in a line
and wave our arms around like a fairy.
557
00:42:04,147 --> 00:42:05,772
That's easy.
558
00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,358
OK!
559
00:42:08,443 --> 00:42:10,527
Nathan!
560
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:17,868
Ref!
561
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:21,788
Perfect.
562
00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:23,457
Well, you should have said.
563
00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,631
Come on. Get in quick,
and wipe your boots.
564
00:42:33,843 --> 00:42:37,721
- Put that back. You'll break it.
- l'm just looking.
565
00:42:37,805 --> 00:42:39,681
Bit posh, innit?
566
00:42:39,807 --> 00:42:40,933
Right, then.
567
00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:44,645
- Are we right?
- Right for what?
568
00:42:44,729 --> 00:42:47,773
Taking us kit off.
569
00:42:47,857 --> 00:42:50,108
l thought you were turning me
into a fancy dancer.
570
00:42:50,193 --> 00:42:52,319
Ladies, we are strippers, aren't we?
571
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:54,488
What, here? Now? ln this house?
572
00:42:56,658 --> 00:43:00,702
- This is a good area, this is.
- Gaz... I dunno.
573
00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:02,913
lf we can't get us kit off
in front of ourselves,
574
00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:05,874
what chance have we got
in front of lasses?
575
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,834
Tops off.
576
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,091
Come on!
577
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,680
Well, no looking.
And no laughing, you bastards.
578
00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:30,565
l used to have a proper job, me.
579
00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:35,028
l ask you, what are we doing?
What are we doing?
580
00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:46,748
And the kecks.
581
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,811
- Horse by name, horse by nature, eh?
- Oh, shut it, you!
582
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:11,440
- How come you're so brown?
- No reason.
583
00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:17,154
- Someone's got a sunbed, Gerald!
- lt's Linda's, and no, you bloody can't!
584
00:44:17,238 --> 00:44:19,406
What am I gonna do about this?
585
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:21,700
lt's not too bad.
586
00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:23,327
From the front, like.
587
00:44:23,411 --> 00:44:26,413
Fat, David, is a feminist issue.
588
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,582
What's that supposed to mean?
589
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:31,585
l don't bloody know, do l? But it is.
590
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:35,172
l try dieting.
591
00:44:35,256 --> 00:44:37,632
l do try!
592
00:44:37,759 --> 00:44:41,178
lt seems l've spent
most of me fucking life on a diet!
593
00:44:41,262 --> 00:44:43,430
The less I eat, the fatter I get.
594
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:47,517
- So stuff yourself and get thin.
- Oh, shut up, saggy tits!
595
00:44:47,602 --> 00:44:50,062
They're not.
596
00:44:50,146 --> 00:44:54,191
A mate of Linda's had this plastic stuff
put on her at this health club.
597
00:44:54,275 --> 00:44:57,319
She lost stones. lt were like magic.
598
00:44:57,445 --> 00:44:59,112
Oh, what's it called?
599
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,698
Anyway, it's like clingfilm.
600
00:45:01,783 --> 00:45:04,409
- l've heard of that.
- Clingfilm?
601
00:45:04,494 --> 00:45:07,162
l'm not a chicken drumstick, Gerald.
602
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:11,792
- You wrap it round, reduce the fat...
- She swears by it!
603
00:45:17,799 --> 00:45:20,592
- You can't just take stuff.
- Sorry, mate.
604
00:45:20,676 --> 00:45:22,761
But I only owe him 120 quid.
605
00:45:22,845 --> 00:45:26,932
- That's all these'll fetch second-hand.
- They're not second-hand.
606
00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:29,142
They are now, mate.
607
00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:33,814
- Put down and piss off.
- Fucking hell!
608
00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:42,322
l think there's been a mistake.
We'll check with the office.
609
00:45:43,366 --> 00:45:46,535
- Cheers, lads.
- lt's not bad, this stripping lark.
610
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,715
Dave and Lomps, up the wing.
611
00:46:00,842 --> 00:46:03,385
One, two, three, four.
612
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:06,096
Left touchline, three, four.
613
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:08,515
Right touchline, three, four.
614
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:10,851
Offside trap. One, two,
615
00:46:10,935 --> 00:46:13,937
three, four. Now the belt,
616
00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:16,148
three. Now the shoes,
617
00:46:16,232 --> 00:46:18,692
three, four. Now the socks...
618
00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:21,778
- Hang on, I can't...
- Carry on!
619
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:28,118
- That were crap.
- Give us a chance!
620
00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:30,954
l bet even Madonna has difficulty
with her shoes.
621
00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:33,123
- You could've had me eye out!
- Sorry.
622
00:46:33,207 --> 00:46:36,418
What are you doing? They're borrowed!
623
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,378
We can use 'em for the show.
624
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,464
lt's what them Chippendales do.
625
00:46:40,548 --> 00:46:43,300
They put Velcro down the side,
and then...
626
00:46:43,384 --> 00:46:45,427
All is revealed. I'll sew 'em back up.
627
00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:47,846
Where did you learn to be an ace sewer?
628
00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:49,473
Prison.
629
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,603
Cheers, Nathe.
630
00:46:58,483 --> 00:47:00,567
Come on, Al, it's me!
631
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:04,446
Which is precisely why
it's 100 quid up front. Half-price.
632
00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:07,240
lf I give you t'club for nowt
and you don't turn up,
633
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:10,160
l've got an empty bar on a Friday night.
634
00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:14,247
'Course we'll turn up!
l haven't got 100 quid!
635
00:47:15,249 --> 00:47:18,627
lf you tell me what you're up to,
it might help.
636
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:21,671
l can't. lt's top-secret.
637
00:47:22,798 --> 00:47:24,925
Sorry...
638
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,775
- All right, love?
- Hi, Mum.
639
00:47:41,859 --> 00:47:44,110
- What do you want?
- All right, Mand?
640
00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:46,488
l'm gonna get you all your money.
641
00:47:46,614 --> 00:47:51,076
Our money. Nathan's.
You know, for definite this time.
642
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,955
- Yeah, right. That all?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
643
00:47:56,123 --> 00:48:01,002
Well, no. The thing is, Mand, you have
to speculate to accumulate, in business.
644
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:05,423
- l'm not sure l'm hearing this.
- I'll get you it all. I just need a tiny bit.
645
00:48:05,508 --> 00:48:07,926
- You want some money?
- Yeah!
646
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:11,346
Right. I need someone int' packing section.
647
00:48:11,472 --> 00:48:15,225
£2.50 an hour. You can start now,
if you like. Are you coming?
648
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,812
Come on, Dad.
649
00:48:21,983 --> 00:48:23,191
Nathan.
650
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:26,027
You can't do this, kid. lt's your savings.
651
00:48:26,153 --> 00:48:29,573
l can. I just need your signature.
lt says int' book.
652
00:48:29,657 --> 00:48:31,616
l'd like to take my money out, please.
653
00:48:31,701 --> 00:48:33,326
Well, you bloody well can't.
654
00:48:33,411 --> 00:48:37,330
- You're all right, love. lt's sorted.
- lt's my money!
655
00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:38,748
£100, please.
656
00:48:38,833 --> 00:48:42,627
When you're 18,
you can walk in and get it yourself.
657
00:48:42,712 --> 00:48:45,755
- You said you'd get it back.
- I know!
658
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,133
But you don't want to listen to what I say.
659
00:48:48,217 --> 00:48:51,595
You said so. I believe you.
660
00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:54,598
You do?
661
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:55,682
Yeah.
662
00:48:58,853 --> 00:49:00,687
Blimey, Nathe!
663
00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:16,369
Come on, come on! One, two!
664
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:29,382
And one for luck!
665
00:50:23,771 --> 00:50:25,772
Yeah!
666
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:41,955
lt's not straight, Lomps.
667
00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:43,832
Give over, it's only a poster.
668
00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:49,796
Christ al-bloody-mighty!
669
00:50:51,465 --> 00:50:52,549
All right, sweethearts?
670
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:56,803
Gary the lad!
What are you up to, then, shifty?
671
00:50:56,887 --> 00:50:59,806
Bit of this, bit of that, bit of the other.
672
00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:04,936
- Just advertising for some mates.
- Oh, aye.
673
00:51:05,020 --> 00:51:07,397
And who's gonna come and see
your mates?
674
00:51:07,481 --> 00:51:10,191
We had the real thing up here
the other day.
675
00:51:10,317 --> 00:51:12,652
Well, us mates are better.
676
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:16,698
- Better? How's that, then?
- Well...
677
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,785
This lot go all the way.
678
00:51:20,870 --> 00:51:24,414
- Don't they, lads?
- The full monty? You lot?
679
00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:29,002
Hell-fire! That would be worth a look!
680
00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:31,671
- See you there, then.
- Ta-ra.
681
00:51:33,007 --> 00:51:37,135
- Keep your hair on.
- No way. No and never. ln that order, kid.
682
00:51:37,219 --> 00:51:41,222
Excuse me, no-one said anything to me
about the full monty.
683
00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:45,477
You heard 'em. We've gotta give them
more than your average ten-bob stripper.
684
00:51:45,561 --> 00:51:49,397
- Yeah, but... me willy. I mean to say...
- Your willy?
685
00:51:49,523 --> 00:51:52,484
- My willy!
- A laughing stock. Totally!
686
00:51:52,568 --> 00:51:53,777
Well, they're coming!
687
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:56,488
With a pair of scissors! They know it's us.
688
00:51:56,572 --> 00:52:01,034
By closing time, every bugger in Sheffield
will know it's us whether we do it or not.
689
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:03,953
We can forget it,
go back to fucking job club,
690
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:06,664
or do it and just maybe get rich.
691
00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:08,500
And I tell you,
692
00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:12,045
folks don't laugh so loud
when you've a grand in your pocket.
693
00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:14,756
Now, are you in...
694
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,090
or are you out?
695
00:52:19,303 --> 00:52:23,223
..all sorts of problems
for drivers on the Pennines.
696
00:52:24,058 --> 00:52:27,268
So, please avoid the area if possible.
697
00:52:27,394 --> 00:52:31,231
The good news is that the outlook
for the rest of the week is much better,
698
00:52:31,315 --> 00:52:35,985
with the storms clearing
to leave the weekend warm and sunny.
699
00:52:36,070 --> 00:52:40,448
Now, back to the music.
Here's another disco classic from the '70s.
700
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:42,325
lt's Donna Summer with...
701
00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:43,952
"Hot Stuff".
702
00:53:43,470 --> 00:53:45,346
No.
703
00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:48,141
Gerald, come on, mate. Just an hour!
704
00:53:52,021 --> 00:53:54,647
You've got some fit birds in there.
705
00:53:56,817 --> 00:53:59,110
Nah. Tits are too big.
706
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:00,320
Yeah?
707
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:02,196
Didn't know they could be.
708
00:54:04,658 --> 00:54:07,285
Anti-wrinkle cream.
709
00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:09,495
Can fellas use this an' all?
710
00:54:09,580 --> 00:54:11,664
Do you mind, you!
711
00:54:12,833 --> 00:54:18,212
Well, I just pray they're a bit more
understanding about us, that's all.
712
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:20,381
You what?
713
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:24,802
They're gonna be looking at us like that.
714
00:54:24,887 --> 00:54:29,515
What if, next Friday, 400 women say:
"He's too fat, he's too old,
715
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,518
and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser."
716
00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:35,772
- They wouldn't.
- Why not? He said her tits are too big.
717
00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:38,524
That's different. We're... blokes.
718
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:40,276
Yeah. And?
719
00:54:40,361 --> 00:54:42,570
l think she's got nice tits.
720
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:46,366
l never said owt about her personality.
She's probably quite nice.
721
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,952
They won't say nowt
about your personality.
722
00:54:49,036 --> 00:54:51,245
Which is good cos you're a bastard.
723
00:54:51,372 --> 00:54:55,458
Bollocks to your personality!
This is what they're looking at.
724
00:54:55,542 --> 00:54:57,377
And I tell you summat, mate.
725
00:54:57,461 --> 00:55:03,049
Anti-wrinkle cream there may be,
but anti-fat-bastard cream, there is none.
726
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:05,051
Here... lads.
727
00:55:11,392 --> 00:55:13,059
Oh, mother!
728
00:55:14,103 --> 00:55:15,103
Bloody hell!
729
00:55:15,187 --> 00:55:17,814
Gaz said he wanted
something a bit flashy.
730
00:55:17,898 --> 00:55:21,234
- lt's top of the range. Real leather.
- Yeah, but...
731
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,861
- You don't get much.
- What day is it?
732
00:55:23,946 --> 00:55:26,823
- Monday.
- When are we on?
733
00:55:26,907 --> 00:55:30,076
Friday. Dress rehearsal tomorrow.
734
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:34,998
l think l'm gonna be sick.
735
00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:44,882
How can I read the instructions?
There wasn't any.
736
00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:48,094
No? Well, maybe there's a part missing.
737
00:55:48,178 --> 00:55:51,723
Yeah, I got that. lf that's what you call it.
738
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:56,185
Well, if it's all there,
how come it's not working?
739
00:55:58,439 --> 00:56:00,606
What do you mean, in what sense?
740
00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:04,527
lt's not working
in the sense that it's not working.
741
00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:06,279
No, I can't speak up.
742
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:10,616
Nothing's happening, you know
what I mean? Nothing's getting bigger.
743
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:12,952
Well, this is an emergency, is this.
744
00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:05,713
What's the matter, big man?
745
00:57:09,343 --> 00:57:11,385
l'm sorry.
746
00:57:18,727 --> 00:57:20,853
Dave...
747
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:26,692
Dave.
748
00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:42,208
You're ahead.
749
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:44,544
Give us a break!
750
00:57:47,881 --> 00:57:49,924
All right, kid.
751
00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:53,594
Tell us straight.
752
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,305
We're not making the biggest arses
of ourselves in the known universe,
753
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:58,266
are we?
754
00:59:08,003 --> 00:59:10,087
Dave, mate.
755
00:59:10,172 --> 00:59:13,382
Can I have a word? ln private, like.
756
00:59:14,968 --> 00:59:17,261
Yeah. I suppose so.
757
00:59:17,346 --> 00:59:20,389
Dave, you won't tell anyone, will you?
758
00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:23,893
No, your... Your secret's safe with me.
759
00:59:26,313 --> 00:59:28,564
When I were about 12,
760
00:59:28,649 --> 00:59:32,985
our school took us for...
for swimming lessons.
761
00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:35,112
Mixed classes.
762
00:59:35,197 --> 00:59:37,698
You know, boys...
763
00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:39,492
and...
764
00:59:40,827 --> 00:59:42,370
and girls.
765
00:59:46,166 --> 00:59:49,627
lt were terrible, Dave. I were there
766
00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:51,837
standing at t'side of t'pool in me trunks
767
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:55,633
with all these pretty lassies
around in bikinis!
768
00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:57,885
And... Well, l...
769
00:59:58,011 --> 01:00:00,096
l got...
770
01:00:05,686 --> 01:00:08,020
l got a stiffy!
771
01:00:08,772 --> 01:00:11,607
- What did you do?
- I jumped into t'deep end.
772
01:00:11,692 --> 01:00:14,402
l nearly fucking drowned!
773
01:00:14,528 --> 01:00:16,070
What if it happens again?
774
01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:18,531
Think of that? ln front of 400 women!
775
01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:20,950
Gerald,
776
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:23,703
you're talking to t'wrong man.
777
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:33,129
- You said it were just your mum.
- lt's family.
778
01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:36,590
- What can you do?
- Who the hell-fire's that?
779
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:40,761
Oh, no.
780
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,555
lt's Beryl.
781
01:00:42,639 --> 01:00:45,141
Me niece!
782
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,392
Where's Dave?
783
01:00:52,232 --> 01:00:54,191
'Ere, Dave!
784
01:00:54,276 --> 01:00:56,027
Dave!
785
01:00:56,111 --> 01:00:58,112
- What are you doing?
- What does it look like?
786
01:00:58,238 --> 01:01:01,699
We're on in three days' time!
Where the fuck are you?
787
01:01:01,783 --> 01:01:04,702
l'm 'ere, working! Earning! That's where.
788
01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:06,829
Not pissing about!
789
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:08,748
End of chat.
790
01:01:10,751 --> 01:01:12,293
Dave.
791
01:01:12,419 --> 01:01:15,004
- Come on, Dave.
- No.
792
01:01:15,088 --> 01:01:17,089
All right, then.
793
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:20,259
- Very nice.
- Gaz, please, don't.
794
01:01:20,344 --> 01:01:22,303
Come on, Mr. Security Guard. Do your job.
795
01:01:22,387 --> 01:01:23,387
Gazza!
796
01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:27,475
Horse, go out and tell 'em there's a delay.
797
01:01:27,601 --> 01:01:28,976
They won't wait forever.
798
01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:44,867
Keep up, you fat bastard!
799
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:51,791
Don't ever call me a fat bastard, all right?
800
01:01:51,875 --> 01:01:54,627
- All right?
- We need you, Dave.
801
01:01:57,506 --> 01:01:59,632
l can't.
802
01:02:02,969 --> 01:02:05,971
l just can't. All right?
803
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:12,186
Listen, just think of the most boring thing
you can come up with.
804
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:15,189
- That should keep it well in order.
- Like what?
805
01:02:15,315 --> 01:02:18,692
- Double-glazing salesmen.
- Gardening. The Queen's speech.
806
01:02:18,819 --> 01:02:20,778
A Dire Straits double album.
807
01:02:20,862 --> 01:02:24,240
- Nature programs.
- I like nature programs.
808
01:02:24,324 --> 01:02:27,868
Aye, but they don't give you a hard-on,
though, do they?
809
01:02:27,994 --> 01:02:29,620
Do they?
810
01:02:29,704 --> 01:02:33,165
- Blimey...
- Oh, shut up! lt's not funny. lt's medical.
811
01:02:39,047 --> 01:02:40,714
He's not coming.
812
01:02:42,676 --> 01:02:43,676
We can do without him.
813
01:04:27,656 --> 01:04:30,616
So your daddy dances in front of you?
814
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,369
When he's rehearsing.
815
01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:41,961
We were dancing all right then, an' all.
816
01:04:42,045 --> 01:04:43,963
My feet are freezing.
817
01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:46,715
Right. Name.
818
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,884
Gary Schofield.
819
01:04:53,014 --> 01:04:55,349
- Gerald Arthur Cooper.
- What?
820
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:57,518
Gerald Arthur Cooper.
821
01:05:00,188 --> 01:05:03,148
- Barrington Mitchell.
- Barrington?
822
01:05:03,233 --> 01:05:04,650
Yeah.
823
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:06,819
- ls that one R?
- Two.
824
01:05:29,676 --> 01:05:32,553
Told you. Robbing pipes, that's all.
825
01:05:32,637 --> 01:05:33,762
Gary, my friend,
826
01:05:33,847 --> 01:05:36,557
no bugger robs pipes in the buff.
827
01:05:36,641 --> 01:05:38,100
We do.
828
01:05:38,184 --> 01:05:40,185
Don't get your clothes dirty, do you?
829
01:05:40,270 --> 01:05:46,942
Oh. Well, don't fret, gents. There's
a right good laundry in Wakefield prison.
830
01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:53,157
Security-camera tapes off the front desk.
831
01:05:53,241 --> 01:05:54,575
What happened to the security guard?
832
01:06:06,421 --> 01:06:08,422
You're always ahead there.
833
01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:10,924
You're always bloody behind, more like.
834
01:06:11,009 --> 01:06:15,804
Look... Excuse me,
can I borrow this for a second?
835
01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:18,474
Look, shut up, will you? Watch.
836
01:06:22,354 --> 01:06:24,021
He's right.
837
01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:26,357
- You're ahead.
- Oh, go... bollocks!
838
01:06:49,381 --> 01:06:50,881
Be quiet! Me mum'll hear.
839
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:53,884
l've always wanted to meet your mum.
840
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:07,481
What do you mean, I can't see him?
He's me son! I haven't been charged!
841
01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:09,650
Ask Smiler in there! No charge!
842
01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:13,278
Sorry. Social Services have requested
an interview with you.
843
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:16,031
Have to make an appointment.
844
01:07:20,328 --> 01:07:23,372
- l've come to pick up my son.
- Oh, right...
845
01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:25,457
Just a minute.
846
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:27,876
He's fine. We've not been charged or owt.
847
01:07:27,961 --> 01:07:31,714
So this is your great money-making
enterprise? Pornography?
848
01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:34,091
Don't be daft! We're getting your money.
849
01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:36,510
My money? Nathan's money!
850
01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:38,679
- Here he is.
- All right, Dad?
851
01:07:38,763 --> 01:07:41,974
- All right, kid?
- Yeah, fine. Hi, Mum.
852
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:43,517
Come on, love.
853
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:45,269
We're going now.
854
01:07:45,353 --> 01:07:47,438
- Come on, Mand!
- Unemployed,
855
01:07:47,522 --> 01:07:52,025
maintenance arrears of £700,
and now an arrest for indecent exposure.
856
01:07:52,110 --> 01:07:54,778
- Still think you're a good father?
- He is trying.
857
01:07:54,863 --> 01:07:57,656
- See?
- A bit late for that.
858
01:07:57,741 --> 01:08:01,034
- Hang on a minute!
- Look at yourself, Gary!
859
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:03,495
Just look at yourself.
860
01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:41,533
All right, mate?
861
01:08:42,285 --> 01:08:44,620
So.
862
01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:49,291
And this has been going on how long?
863
01:08:52,378 --> 01:08:54,254
About six months.
864
01:09:00,512 --> 01:09:03,430
l can cope with losing the sunbed.
865
01:09:03,515 --> 01:09:05,599
Car. Television.
866
01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:10,270
l can even cope with the shame
of everyone watching this.
867
01:09:10,355 --> 01:09:13,774
But six months! Six bloody months!
868
01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:15,984
And you wouldn't say to me,
869
01:09:17,153 --> 01:09:19,404
to your wife.
870
01:09:23,284 --> 01:09:26,411
l thought you liked them.
871
01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:28,664
No, Gerald. l've never liked 'em.
872
01:09:54,065 --> 01:09:57,484
They've taken me sunbed.
They've taken bloody everything.
873
01:09:57,569 --> 01:10:00,612
- Kept hold of your chips, though.
- House repossessed.
874
01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:02,573
Wife thrown me out.
875
01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:05,242
Guess what.
876
01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:07,703
l've just been offered that job.
877
01:10:07,787 --> 01:10:09,705
Congratulations.
878
01:10:17,839 --> 01:10:19,506
- All right, kid?
- Hiya!
879
01:10:19,591 --> 01:10:22,593
- Fancy a kick-about int' park?
- Yeah.
880
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:26,138
Nathe.
881
01:10:26,222 --> 01:10:28,056
Hiya. All right, love?
882
01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:29,725
You shouldn't be here.
883
01:10:29,809 --> 01:10:32,811
- Says who?
- Read the lawyer's letter, why don't you?
884
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:37,441
We're going swimming, Dad.
Do you wanna come?
885
01:10:40,278 --> 01:10:42,779
l can't, kid.
886
01:10:42,864 --> 01:10:44,990
Haven't brought me trunks, have l?
887
01:10:45,074 --> 01:10:48,577
- We can go get 'em. Can't we, Mum?
- I can't, love.
888
01:10:48,661 --> 01:10:51,038
Why?
889
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:53,206
l just...
890
01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:56,793
l just can't. Sorry.
891
01:10:58,046 --> 01:11:00,631
He's not allowed, is he?
892
01:11:05,136 --> 01:11:06,637
Come on, love.
893
01:11:45,051 --> 01:11:46,343
Dave!
894
01:11:46,427 --> 01:11:48,720
Oi, you deaf twat!
895
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:51,306
What do you want now?
l told you, l'm finished with you.
896
01:11:51,391 --> 01:11:53,475
We're all finished, Dave.
897
01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:55,936
l'm a bloody marked man now.
898
01:11:57,772 --> 01:12:01,066
Sorry about your Nathan.
lt's a bad one, that.
899
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:03,235
Aye.
900
01:12:03,569 --> 01:12:05,654
lt's about Lomper.
901
01:12:05,738 --> 01:12:08,198
What's that pasty-faced chuffer want?
902
01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:10,367
His mum died two days ago.
903
01:12:13,454 --> 01:12:15,497
Poor lad. Sorry.
904
01:12:15,581 --> 01:12:17,499
Could you borrow us a jacket for t'funeral?
905
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:18,667
Gaz... !
906
01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:22,879
Come on, Dave!
lt's not for me, it's a funeral!
907
01:12:25,466 --> 01:12:27,134
What color?
908
01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:30,470
Orange.
909
01:12:30,555 --> 01:12:33,473
- Orange?
- Black, for fuck's sake!
910
01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:36,268
All right. Look, I'll meet you by t'doors.
911
01:12:47,321 --> 01:12:50,407
- Nice one.
- Come on, then.
912
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:53,160
- Have you got some time off?
- Nah.
913
01:12:53,244 --> 01:12:55,495
Fucking pick'n'mix
were driving me crazy.
914
01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:57,456
Besides, it's a funeral.
915
01:12:57,540 --> 01:13:00,667
- Are you ready?
- Ready when you are.
916
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:13,156
They bloody are, you know.
917
01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:14,866
They're holding hands.
918
01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:17,911
- They're never.
- Straight up.
919
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:21,623
l never even hold hands
with ruddy lassies.
920
01:14:21,707 --> 01:14:23,416
Maybe I should.
921
01:14:24,877 --> 01:14:28,004
Ah, who'd have ruddy thought it, eh?
922
01:14:29,674 --> 01:14:33,093
Ah, well. There's nowt as queer as folk.
923
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:38,557
l said, "There's nowt as queer as folk"!
924
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:41,476
Shut up, Dave.
lt's supposed to be a bloody funeral.
925
01:14:41,561 --> 01:14:43,728
l'm sorry.
926
01:14:53,072 --> 01:14:55,699
- Look! Who's that?
- lt's that guy!
927
01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:57,868
Show us your pecs!
928
01:15:02,039 --> 01:15:03,582
They were together in the paper.
929
01:15:08,588 --> 01:15:12,090
Have you been actively seeking work
over the last fortnight?
930
01:15:12,216 --> 01:15:13,300
Yeah.
931
01:15:13,384 --> 01:15:17,262
Have you done any work,
paid or unpaid, over the last fortnight?
932
01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:18,847
No.
933
01:15:20,892 --> 01:15:23,185
That's not what l've heard.
934
01:16:11,859 --> 01:16:13,401
Right, come on, you lot!
935
01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:19,407
"Slaidburn."
936
01:16:23,246 --> 01:16:25,622
One, two, three, four.
937
01:17:04,996 --> 01:17:07,706
- Go get shagged!
- Get your knickers off!
938
01:17:12,712 --> 01:17:15,213
Oh, fuck!
939
01:17:15,298 --> 01:17:17,882
Hey, Patricia the Stripper!
940
01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:21,052
- Bugger off.
- Where have you bloody been?
941
01:17:21,137 --> 01:17:25,640
What's going on? I had to buy 20 barrels!
l've had no word from you!
942
01:17:25,725 --> 01:17:27,851
l hope they're sale or return.
943
01:17:27,935 --> 01:17:30,186
You're joking! You're bloody famous!
944
01:17:30,271 --> 01:17:32,564
Yeah, don't remind me.
945
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:35,734
- l've sold 200-odd tickets!
- How many?
946
01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:38,611
Well done, Gerald. All the best.
947
01:17:38,696 --> 01:17:41,573
Hey! Example for you there!
948
01:17:45,411 --> 01:17:48,330
- Nice suit, Gerald!
- Yeah.
949
01:17:48,414 --> 01:17:50,498
Well, l'd best be off.
950
01:17:50,583 --> 01:17:54,544
You never know,
there might be a job in it for you boys.
951
01:17:54,628 --> 01:17:56,421
- All right, lads?
- All right, Gaz?
952
01:17:56,505 --> 01:18:00,091
- Gareth.
- We're on.
953
01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:01,301
We're bloody on!
954
01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:05,221
- You what?
- We've sold 200 tickets. That's two grand!
955
01:18:05,306 --> 01:18:08,892
lt's a bit late for all that, Gaz.
l mean...
956
01:18:08,976 --> 01:18:11,353
l mean fresh start, you know.
957
01:18:11,437 --> 01:18:13,021
One more time, Gerald.
958
01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:16,900
You got the rest of your fucking life
to wear a suit!
959
01:18:16,984 --> 01:18:18,735
- Gerald...
- Aye, go on!
960
01:18:18,819 --> 01:18:20,362
Come on, Gerald.
961
01:18:24,241 --> 01:18:25,909
- Just once.
- Yes!
962
01:18:25,993 --> 01:18:28,828
That's all. Just tonight.
963
01:18:30,498 --> 01:18:33,541
How about it, Dave?
964
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:36,669
Haven't you grown out of all that yet?
965
01:18:36,754 --> 01:18:39,130
Come on, mate.
966
01:18:39,215 --> 01:18:41,800
Nah. Sorry, lads.
967
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:52,310
Jean?
968
01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:55,939
Jean, love!
969
01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:05,448
There you are.
970
01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:14,416
l should have guessed
when you started wearing totty lotion.
971
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:16,876
You never put it on for me, did you?
972
01:19:16,961 --> 01:19:19,212
- Jean?
- Or this?
973
01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:24,968
l never had you down
for this sort of caper, David.
974
01:19:25,052 --> 01:19:27,512
lt explains a few things, at least.
975
01:19:27,596 --> 01:19:30,306
No, look...
l know it don't look good.
976
01:19:30,391 --> 01:19:32,976
You're bloody right it don't.
977
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:36,646
All those nights you were late back
978
01:19:36,730 --> 01:19:40,984
and stupid cow here thought
you were out looking for a job!
979
01:19:41,068 --> 01:19:42,777
Well, no wonder.
980
01:19:42,862 --> 01:19:45,071
No bloody wonder.
981
01:19:45,156 --> 01:19:48,533
- lt's so obvious.
- No, I were with Gaz, honest.
982
01:19:48,617 --> 01:19:52,829
Oh, right!
She's one of Gaz's little tarts, is she?
983
01:19:52,913 --> 01:19:54,706
Well, that makes sense.
984
01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:58,918
She'd have to be
to put up with this kind of shit!
985
01:20:00,588 --> 01:20:05,008
Just listen, will you?
lt's nowt to do with any fucking women!
986
01:20:07,636 --> 01:20:09,762
l'm...
987
01:20:09,847 --> 01:20:11,514
l were a stripper, right?
988
01:20:11,599 --> 01:20:13,516
Me and Gaz and...
989
01:20:13,601 --> 01:20:17,353
some fellas thought we'd make a bob
or two taking us clothes off.
990
01:20:19,690 --> 01:20:21,566
Strippers?
991
01:20:21,650 --> 01:20:24,027
All right, all right, I know.
992
01:20:24,111 --> 01:20:27,363
You... and Gaz?
993
01:20:27,448 --> 01:20:29,115
Strippers?
994
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:31,284
We weren't that bad.
995
01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:35,747
Only I couldn't, could l?
996
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:38,917
Why not?
997
01:20:39,001 --> 01:20:40,960
Well, look at me.
998
01:20:43,088 --> 01:20:45,173
So?
999
01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:50,136
Jeanie, who wants to see this dance?
1000
01:20:51,805 --> 01:20:53,890
Me, Dave.
1001
01:20:55,017 --> 01:20:57,101
l do.
1002
01:21:21,460 --> 01:21:23,044
Women only, you tosser!
1003
01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:26,714
Women only!
lt's on all t'posters, for fuck's sake.
1004
01:21:26,799 --> 01:21:29,592
No, nobody told me.
1005
01:21:29,677 --> 01:21:31,803
All the blokes from t'pub are in there.
1006
01:21:31,887 --> 01:21:36,140
- Bastards!
- You'll be all right once you're on stage.
1007
01:21:36,225 --> 01:21:37,684
Once l'm on stage?
1008
01:21:37,768 --> 01:21:43,231
l'm going nowhere near the fucking stage!
lt's suicide! That's what it is! Suicide!
1009
01:21:51,991 --> 01:21:54,784
Come on, come on! Come on, come on!
1010
01:21:54,868 --> 01:21:57,453
Come on, come on! Come on!
1011
01:21:58,289 --> 01:22:00,498
Shit! I'll give the money back.
1012
01:22:00,583 --> 01:22:02,292
Alan, announce it, please.
1013
01:22:02,376 --> 01:22:06,337
To 400 horny punters?
Ask me another one, kid!
1014
01:22:06,422 --> 01:22:07,422
By 'eck!
1015
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:10,633
Our old dinner lady's ont' front row!
1016
01:22:10,718 --> 01:22:13,845
- We'll get torn to pieces!
- You will if you don't go on!
1017
01:22:13,929 --> 01:22:16,764
Ever seen a zebra brought down
by a pack of wolves?
1018
01:22:16,849 --> 01:22:19,934
These nature films.
Aren't they marvelous?
1019
01:22:20,019 --> 01:22:21,352
Brilliant, aren't they?
1020
01:22:21,437 --> 01:22:24,439
- They are, aren't they, Gerald?
- Oh, pack it in!
1021
01:22:24,523 --> 01:22:27,692
- Not lost your bottle, have you, Gaz?
- Dave!
1022
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:30,695
There were nowt on telly
so I thought l'd give it a go.
1023
01:22:30,779 --> 01:22:34,532
- I found this wandering about outside.
- They wouldn't let me in.
1024
01:22:34,617 --> 01:22:37,619
What the hell are you doing 'ere?
Your mum'll go mad!
1025
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:40,747
- She's out front.
- ls she?
1026
01:22:40,831 --> 01:22:42,206
ls Barry with her?
1027
01:22:42,291 --> 01:22:44,417
She wouldn't let him come.
Said it were women only.
1028
01:22:44,501 --> 01:22:48,755
Right! I can't hold them any longer!
lt's now or never!
1029
01:22:50,841 --> 01:22:53,926
We're bloody on.
Go get your jacket on.
1030
01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:59,349
Can't we leave us G-strings on, Gaz?
1031
01:22:59,433 --> 01:23:00,850
Perhaps you better had.
1032
01:23:00,934 --> 01:23:03,019
No, we better hadn't.
1033
01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:06,856
Listen.
lf we're doing this, then just this once,
1034
01:23:06,940 --> 01:23:09,400
we're doing it right.
1035
01:23:09,485 --> 01:23:10,568
Now, come on.
1036
01:23:12,154 --> 01:23:14,614
Come on, put your hands together
1037
01:23:14,698 --> 01:23:16,991
and welcome Mr. Dave Horsefall!
1038
01:23:26,585 --> 01:23:30,046
OK, ladies and gents...
and you buggers up the back there!
1039
01:23:31,048 --> 01:23:32,423
Get on with it!
1040
01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:34,217
We may not be young,
1041
01:23:34,301 --> 01:23:37,011
we may not be pretty,
we may not be right good,
1042
01:23:37,096 --> 01:23:39,222
but we're here.
1043
01:23:39,306 --> 01:23:41,683
We're live, and for one night only
1044
01:23:41,767 --> 01:23:44,727
we're going for the full monty!
1045
01:23:46,188 --> 01:23:48,606
You can't miss it, not after everything.
1046
01:23:49,733 --> 01:23:53,236
- Come on, Gaz! Hurry up!
- Sorry, lads.
1047
01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:57,448
Good luck, eh?
1048
01:24:28,439 --> 01:24:31,190
Listen.
l'm gonna get really annoyed with you.
1049
01:24:31,275 --> 01:24:33,609
They're cheering out there. You did that.
1050
01:24:33,694 --> 01:24:35,945
Now get out there and do your stuff.
1051
01:24:36,613 --> 01:24:38,614
God, is there anyone
l don't get bollocked by?
1052
01:24:38,699 --> 01:24:40,783
Out!
1053
01:26:33,438 --> 01:26:35,523
Off! Off! Off!
73138
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
