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1
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,858
Is he asleep yet?
2
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,607
Yeah, I'll go put him to bed.
3
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,038
R. Kelly always does the trick.
4
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,167
I think Evan may be
developing a rash.
5
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,498
You know, when you rub
the Aquaphor on his tush,
6
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,080
you can't just
put it on his cheeks,
7
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,256
you have to rub it
all over the anus, too.
8
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,333
All over the anus, got it.
9
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,050
I think I'm going
to take a bath, okay?
10
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,886
Okay, babe. Go for it.
11
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,537
Not this time.
12
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,372
Okay, come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on. Okay.
13
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,713
Yep.
14
00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,802
Oh, yeah, you like
it nasty, don't you?
15
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,385
Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry.
Guilty as charged.
16
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,603
God, you're so big, it hurts.
17
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,605
I know, I can't help it.
18
00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,936
Oh, yeah!
19
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224
Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah.
20
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,776
Give it to me, daddy.
Give it to me... Oh, yeah.
21
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,186
Daddy?
22
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,024
Evan! What the...
23
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,567
You're opening doors now?
How did...
24
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,868
- I saw a monster.
- A what?
25
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,745
Stick your
finger in my asshole.
26
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,951
God.
27
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,205
Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah!
28
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,533
Come on, come on, come on.
Fuck, yeah!
29
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,417
I want you to come
all over my...
30
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578
Oh, my God!
31
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,421
Evan, don't touch that!
32
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,836
Don't...
33
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,759
Daddy, boo-boo.
34
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,761
What the...
35
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,847
Oh, my God.
36
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,553
Okay, don't move. Stay here.
37
00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
Daddy needs a Band-Aid.
38
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,439
Michelle?
39
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,438
Do you...
40
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,071
Mommy, Daddy, are you okay?
41
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,568
Jim Levenstein.
42
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,988
They still haven't gotten
you an assistant yet, huh?
43
00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,775
Kev, I'm sorry, I've been
meaning to call you back.
44
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,614
- I've just been...
- Busy?
45
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,993
I get it.
46
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,655
Look, I'll make
this quick, okay?
47
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,828
The reunion, you in?
48
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,789
Hold on, is that
really happening?
49
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,328
Yeah, man, check your Facebook.
50
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,246
Look, I know they missed
the ten-year by a couple,
51
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,832
but, you know, seems like
people are actually going.
52
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,176
- Hey, hon.
- Hey!
53
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,299
Mmm. Dinner smells great.
54
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,429
Hey, Ellie.
55
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,505
Hey, Jim.
56
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,682
Ooh, Bachelorette finale later.
57
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,810
And don't forget, we still
have to watch Real Housewives.
58
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,017
Yeah, how could I forget?
59
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,148
Hey, Kev, you know who
my favorite housewife is?
60
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,313
You.
61
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,693
Very funny.
62
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,028
Look, I love my wife, but I
need a weekend with the guys.
63
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,239
Come on, we'll go a few days early.
No Stifler this time.
64
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,029
Just you, me, Oz and Finch.
65
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823
Yeah, well,
good luck with that.
66
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,663
I heard Finch's mom doesn't
even know where he is.
67
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,917
And what about Oz?
68
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,338
I mean, do you really think he would
come with all he has going on?
69
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,884
And we're back
here on Sports View,
70
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,388
with my special guest,
Chad Ochocinco.
71
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,178
Chad, which college
football powerhouse
72
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,098
is gonna have the most players
drafted in this year's draft?
73
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,188
I'm gonna have to go with my
alma mater, the Oregon State.
74
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,571
Come on, man!
What are you smoking, Ocho?
75
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,481
You think I don't know
what I'm talking about?
76
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,737
Do me a favor,
take a look at the tape.
77
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,073
Hey, babe, I'm home!
78
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,581
And that wraps it up for my
special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
79
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,415
This is Chris Ostreicher reminding
you to play on, plava!
80
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,050
Hey, Mia?
81
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,843
Oh, my gosh!
So funny.
82
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,972
Oh, hey, baby!
83
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,603
Hi!
84
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,642
I was just watching
your show a minute ago.
85
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,772
Oh, yeah?
86
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,027
Is everything okay?
87
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,939
You tell me. You're in the
hot tub with another dude.
88
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,449
You are worried about Deshaun?
89
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,776
Aw, that is so cute!
90
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,913
Deshaun's the interior
decorator I told you about.
91
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,539
Hey, Christopher!
92
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,951
Strip down! Come join us.
93
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,420
Maybe next time, Deshaun.
94
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,922
I still don't get why we
need an interior decorator.
95
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,213
Because the place needs to look
perfect for the InStyle shoot.
96
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,972
Babe, trust me.
97
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,509
Remember how you didn't wanna go
on Celebrity Dance Off at first?
98
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,893
Now think of all
the fans you have.
99
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,728
Oh! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez
is having a Memorial Day party.
100
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,726
I told him we're in.
101
00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:36,564
Actually,
I was thinking about going
102
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,069
to my high school
reunion that weekend.
103
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,949
Well, if you're going,
I'm going, too.
104
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,783
- Really?
- Yeah.
105
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947
All right.
106
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,375
Mia, love, phone call.
It's Rumer.
107
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,293
Oh, shit, let me talk to her.
108
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,751
What's with you jacking
my style, bitch?
109
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,629
Anything I can
get for you, Christopher?
110
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,013
Uh...
111
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,321
Morning, co-workers
and cock-jerkers!
112
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,280
Reggie, give me some love.
113
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,953
Looking good, Stifler.
114
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,781
Ladies, better be working hard,
115
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,286
you weren't hired
for your looks.
116
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,039
Actually, you were.
117
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,665
Not you.
118
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,959
Seriously?
119
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,089
Bob, what are you doing here?
120
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,420
Don't you know
they fired your ass?
121
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,595
What?
122
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,514
I'm just fucking with you.
123
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,799
Or am I?
124
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,600
Hey!
125
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,730
Coffee for the pretty lady?
126
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,686
Sure, thanks.
127
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,816
Let me know if you want
some creamer with that.
128
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,905
Hello, you. How are you?
129
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,593
"Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister,
'cause you know what?
130
00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:08,117
'Cause you're the best."
131
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,494
"Oh, I am the best."
"Yes, you are the..."
132
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,786
"You know, I love you so much that I'm
going to just have some fun down here."
133
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,285
"Oh, yeah, yeah..."
134
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664
- What the hell are you doing?
- Jesus Christ!
135
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,043
Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy
It's... I was just...
136
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,168
- Huh?
- That's good, it's all clean.
137
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,005
I told you to print out the morning
numbers and put them on my desk,
138
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,635
and you're making
yourself at home?
139
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,554
- No, I just thought...
- "I just thought..."
140
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,102
I don't pay you to think.
You are a temp.
141
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,432
Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm
being way underutilized here.
142
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,854
Oh, you do, do you?
143
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,935
Thank you for telling
me how you feel.
144
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,729
Do you mind if I
tell you how I feel?
145
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,942
I feel the sooner you realize
that you're the bitch,
146
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,027
not the boss,
147
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,410
the better
off you will be.
148
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,832
- Fucker.
- What was that?
149
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,117
Nothing!
150
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,419
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
151
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,254
Fucker!
152
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,178
You know, we still haven't
discussed the whole
153
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,558
bathtub incident.
154
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,728
Huh? Oh, that? That's...
155
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,060
That... Don't worry about that.
156
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,980
Well, I mean,
you know, obviously,
157
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,688
I would prefer it
if I was the one
158
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,024
that made you
feel that way, but...
159
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,692
I know how you feel.
160
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,863
Every time I want to shop online
and I start typing "Amazon,"
161
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,535
"amazingcollegesluts.com"
pops up.
162
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,457
Amazing what?
163
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,915
Okay, look, obviously
164
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,596
we need to have
more fun together.
165
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,552
I promise you, this weekend,
166
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,060
there is going to be plenty of
Jim and Michelle time, okay?
167
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,985
Hey!
168
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,108
Hello, sweetheart.
169
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,530
How are you? Oh!
170
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,240
- It's so good to see you.
- Hey, Dad.
171
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,113
Hello, son! Come here.
172
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,695
Hi! Hi!
173
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,746
- Oh, no!
- Look who that is!
174
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,452
Look at this big bruiser!
Oh, my goodness!
175
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,211
He has grown.
Look at him! Huh?
176
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,794
Someone's got
a little poopy diaper.
177
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,031
Jim?
178
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,542
I can't believe it's you.
179
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,878
You don't remember me, do you?
180
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,379
- Uh...
- Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
181
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,923
Kara?
182
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,762
Oh, my God.
183
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,434
What? You're not
a kid any more.
184
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,065
It's been a long time since
I needed a babysitter.
185
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,103
I can't believe how
much you've grown up.
186
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,316
Thanks!
187
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,397
It's actually my 18th
birthday tomorrow.
188
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
Eighteen, wow.
189
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,237
You should come to my party.
190
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,318
Oh, uh...
191
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,571
Thank you, no. I...
Yeah, that might be difficult.
192
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,530
Please, I want you
to come so bad.
193
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,126
Hey, Kara! We gotta go.
194
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,454
Okay, relax.
195
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,377
That's AJ. Don't ask.
196
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,542
Hopefully I will
see you tomorrow.
197
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,133
- What?
- Who the fuck was that?
198
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881
Hey, sweetie.
199
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,965
Hey.
200
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,224
Who were you talking to?
201
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,803
That was just
the kid next door.
202
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,629
Hello, my old friends.
203
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,015
I thought about
throwing them out,
204
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,432
but they just have
too much sentimental value.
205
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,641
Yeah.
206
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,266
Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.
207
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,363
You know, I can remember when
you were just a little guy.
208
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,445
And now you've got
your own little guy.
209
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,608
I know.
210
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,411
And before you know it,
he's gonna be a teenager...
211
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,612
Wow.
212
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,121
And you'll be teaching him
about masturbation
213
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,786
and, you know, all the
do's and all the don'ts
214
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,211
that have to do with
the little guy's weenie.
215
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,288
- Okay?
- Right?
216
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,124
Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst
by the time he's a teenager...
217
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,424
Okay, Dad, I get it.
...but I'm just...
218
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,002
Well, these are things you're
gonna have to deal with.
219
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,758
I understand. It's just,
you know, he's two.
220
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,680
Well, yeah, maybe
you've got time, but..
221
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,725
So, you know, I just, I'd rather
not talk about his penis.
222
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,928
- How you doing, Dad?
- I'm good.
223
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,106
Yeah? What are you doing for fun?
You seen any movies lately?
224
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,897
Well, you know, your mother and
I did go to a lot of movies.
225
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645
Well...
226
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,243
You know, it has been three
years since she passed, Dad.
227
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,571
There's gotta be someone in
town you can see a movie with.
228
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,033
I have you now.
We'll see a movie tonight, you and me.
229
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,085
Tonight?
230
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,878
Well, I made plans
with the guys,
231
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,671
- to meet up with them tonight at the bar...
- Oh.
232
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,919
- But...
- Yeah, yeah...
233
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,672
But I don't need to do that.
I can do that tomorrow.
234
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,425
No. No, no, no, no.
This is why you're in town, isn't it?
235
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,840
No, no, no.
You go. I'll be fine.
236
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,141
I was just planning
on staying in tonight
237
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,934
and, you know,
doing a little reading.
238
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,433
Oh, not this. No. No.
239
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,610
Although, I do remember reading
a very interesting article
240
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,616
on something Brazilian.
241
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,200
Boy, these pages are all
stuck together here.
242
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,911
I got it.
243
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,625
Kev.
244
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,589
Hey!
245
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,801
- What's up, man?
- Jim.
246
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,136
Hey, guys!
247
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,758
- Oz.
- There he is.
248
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,888
You made it.
249
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,846
Hey, I missed your wedding,
I wasn't gonna miss this.
250
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,643
- Hey, buddy.
- What's up, pal?
251
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,479
- Good to see you.
- Yeah, man.
252
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,143
Hey, Kev!
253
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,523
Looking good, look at you!
254
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,400
Oh, stop it. Come on.
255
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,163
Gentlemen.
256
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,291
Finch? Finch!
257
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,421
- Oh, my God!
- It great to see you, James.
258
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,467
Changed at all, Jim.
259
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,544
Good to see you, pal.
260
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,674
I didn't think you
were gonna make it.
261
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754
Finch, how are you, man?
262
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,761
So, after my troubles in Beijing,
I just moved to Dubai,
263
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,100
and then I got all caught up in the
world of underground baccarat.
264
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,563
Spent the rest of '09 living
with this African tribe.
265
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,815
Oh, they made me
an honorary tribesman.
266
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,937
Oh.
267
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,359
Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
268
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,524
It looks like that
because it did hurt, Kevin.
269
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,696
Since then, I've just been
biking through South America.
270
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,786
So, basically, you are the most
interesting man in the world.
271
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,038
- Yeah.
- Let me guess,
272
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,662
you guys are here
for the reunion, huh?
273
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830
You got it. Class of '99.
274
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,544
Haven't I seen you before?
275
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,801
Yeah, I'm on TV.
276
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,337
No, not you. You.
277
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,888
'Cause, your face,
you're just so familiar.
278
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,644
Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right?
279
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,643
Oh! Man, Nadia!
280
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,191
More, more, you bad boy!
281
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,477
I swear I had these all taken down.
How did you...
282
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,654
Oh, yeah. How many times did
you pre-ejaculate again?
283
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,197
Oh, leave him alone.
284
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,359
I bet you were all desperate
virgins back then.
285
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,242
Selena Vega.
286
00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663
- That's Selena Vega in front of us.
- Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
287
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,744
Hold on, Michelle's
friend from band?
288
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,828
You got it.
289
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,710
Oh, my God. I'm sorry
I didn't recognize you.
290
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,215
You look
291
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,666
different.
292
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,670
Well, next round's
on me, okay, guys?
293
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,843
Hey, that chick was in band?
294
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,434
This is the first long weekend
I have had in a while
295
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,761
so I wanna make it count.
296
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,056
I want the place spotless, and
I want it filled with booze.
297
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,145
And I wanna make sure you're
not around on Sunday night,
298
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,192
'cause I plan on bringing some
ass back from the reunion,
299
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,861
and I wanna tap that without you there.
You got it?
300
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,274
You know, first of all,
Steven, it's my house.
301
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,067
You're lucky I'm
letting you stay here.
302
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,361
Look, you wanted me to
get a job, so I got one.
303
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,201
At least let me have the
house for the weekend.
304
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,616
My house, my rules.
305
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,080
And as for tonight, if you
don't wanna risk coming home
306
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,870
and seeing more of your
mother than you'd like,
307
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,710
I suggest you stay out late.
308
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,000
Gross.
309
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,306
That was really...
310
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,682
Hey, bar wench,
can I get a Budweiser?
311
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,471
Beer down.
312
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,359
What the fuck are you
fuckers doing here?
313
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,031
- You made it!
- Made what?
314
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,157
What are you talking about?
315
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,243
What do you mean?
We sent you an e-mail
316
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,125
about getting together a couple
of days before the reunion.
317
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,209
You know what? I must have put
two F's in "Stifmeister."
318
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,793
- What?
- I'm sorry.
319
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,008
Two F's? You dumbass!
320
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,384
Kev!
321
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,340
Hey, Kevin, is that
a pussy on your face?
322
00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:12,801
Oh, come on!
323
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,685
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
324
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,886
Nice.
325
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,643
So, Stifler,
you're looking sharp.
326
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,144
What are you up to these days?
327
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,601
I work at JBH Global.
328
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686
Wow! That's a big-time firm.
329
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937
What do you do over there?
330
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,189
Oh, you know,
331
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,366
investment stuff.
332
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,203
People wonder why our financial
system's falling apart.
333
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,327
Nice scarf. I see you finally
came out of the closet.
334
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,036
How is your mother, Stifler?
335
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,917
You stay away from
my mom, shitbreak.
336
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,579
Okay, boys,
the past is the past.
337
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,289
We can bury
the hatchet here, huh?
338
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,045
Yeah, fuck it.
339
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,960
Hey, short-shorts!
A round of Jägerbombs for me and my boys!
340
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,470
Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
341
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,011
How the hell does
she know my name?
342
00:18:54,157 --> 00:18:55,055
Lard Arms?
343
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,306
Jesus, Stifler.
344
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,354
Talk about an ugly duckling
turning into a swan, right?
345
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,350
Let me see that.
346
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,774
Oh! Fingered her,
hairy nips, huge boobs.
347
00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,619
There she is!
348
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738
The créme de my cock.
349
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,573
Blowjob Lipstein.
350
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,082
Her given name
was Loni, Stifler.
351
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,962
She used to call me Big Stiffy.
352
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,963
She was the mouth
that got away.
353
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,172
Last call!
354
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,464
Already? Wait here, guys.
355
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,933
Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List.
356
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,060
Wish List?
I don't remember that.
357
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,854
Oh, yeah, man.
It's that cheesy page in the yearbook
358
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,058
where we all had to write
wishes about our future.
359
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,019
What, did you write something cheesy?
Let's see.
360
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,941
"Chris Ostreicher.
Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team."
361
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,242
Oh! Isn't that the
sweetest thing?
362
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,534
Well,
363
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,742
I guess I thought
I'd have a family by now.
364
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,119
All right, you wanna hear
what you wrote, Finch?
365
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,290
I do.
366
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,249
"Paul Finch hopes to
find le grand amour."
367
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,539
Yes, true love.
368
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,256
Alas, I have yet to find what you
would call a real relationship.
369
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,047
Right, because banging
Stifler's mom didn't count.
370
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,262
All right, let's see
what you got, Kev.
371
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,850
"Kevin Myers. Hopes to
still be living it up"
372
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,106
"with the amazing
Vicky Lathum."
373
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,562
Oh, man! Vicky! What?
374
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,023
I am sure your wife would
be very happy to read that.
375
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,938
What? I was dating
Vicky at the time.
376
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,447
Let me see what I put.
377
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,902
"Jim Levenstein"
378
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,086
"hopes to have the
sex life of Ricky Martin."
379
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,917
So, I'm assuming you didn't
know he was gay back then.
380
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,672
Jim, it's a good thing
you found a woman
381
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,595
with the sex drive
of a dozen groupies. Hmm?
382
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,006
I mean, you're probably having
more sex than any of us.
383
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,350
Probably, you know.
384
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,513
Hope you guys are thirsty.
Stifler Claus is here.
385
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,273
Whoa! Stifler, that's a little
too much, don't you think?
386
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,526
Dude, find your balls
and return them to your sack.
387
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,690
I say we keep this party going.
388
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,693
I say we make this
weekend our bitch.
389
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,325
We could party together, do all the
same shit that we used to do together.
390
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,827
It'll be just like old times.
391
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,659
Hell yes! That's why I'm here.
392
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,324
No Bachelorette,
no Real Housewives.
393
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,041
Thing is, you only get one
chance at your 13th reunion.
394
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,583
I was kind of hoping to spend
a little time with the wife.
395
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,709
- Fuck!
- Dude!
396
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,171
- James?
- What? Come on!
397
00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,014
I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in.
Come on, what?
398
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,174
Yeah! Yeah.
399
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,932
Then, gentlemen, I hope you're
all wearing protection,
400
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,142
because this weekend,
we're gonna fuck shit up!
401
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,978
Cheers!
Yeah! All right!
402
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,626
What the fuck?
403
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,174
Holy shit.
404
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,676
Hey!
405
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,261
Hi.
406
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,683
What happened?
407
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,435
I don't really remember.
408
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,522
I blame you. How much did you
let him drink last night?
409
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,404
Honestly,
not that much.
410
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,783
Well, we gotta clean this up
before we go to the lake.
411
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,036
What? The lake?
412
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,285
Yeah, the lake, dude.
It was your idea.
413
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:48,000
We discussed
all this last night.
414
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,377
Oh, the lake!
Yes, of course, the...
415
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,755
Hey, Jim, can you hand me
those paper towels, please?
416
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,469
- Oh, those paper towels?
- The paper ones.
417
00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,553
Uh...
418
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,390
The paper towels, Jim.
419
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,471
- Jim!
- Yeah...
420
00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,019
The paper towels!
421
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,478
I'm really sorry.
422
00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,525
Jim, you do realize that
the lid is see-through, right?
423
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,158
Oh, wow.
424
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,579
Good eye.
425
00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,166
That's the father of my child.
426
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,144
Oh, come on!
427
00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,722
Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez.
428
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,439
Am I wrong, or was this place a lot
more fun when we were younger?
429
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,775
No, no. I think it's the same.
We're just old now.
430
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,154
But were we just as obnoxious
as these kids back in the day?
431
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,489
No.
432
00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,329
Us, our generation,
we were more mature.
433
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,161
Hey, guys, check it out.
434
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,659
Vagina shark!
435
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,584
He touched my snatch!
436
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,833
I take that back.
437
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,260
Oh, my God.
438
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,183
Fellas, do you gotta stare?
439
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,346
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
440
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,106
Yes, we do need to stare.
441
00:24:36,549 --> 00:24:39,149
Could Jim
be any more obvious?
442
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,735
Oh, give him a break.
443
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,492
I mean, it's not every day you get to see
a model walking around off the page.
444
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,990
There hasn't been
a whole lot of sexy time
445
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,120
in the Levenstein
household lately.
446
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200
Why not?
447
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,997
I don't know. I'm a mom now.
448
00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,377
Oh, please!
449
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,463
Just because you're
a mom doesn't mean
450
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,091
there isn't a whole other side to you.
451
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,969
Hey, remember that
one time at band camp,
452
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,517
when we licked whipped cream
off each other's...
453
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,812
Yes! Yes! I remember.
454
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,056
Let's keep that
in the past, though, okay?
455
00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,689
Oh, she's...
456
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,446
Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or
else you're gonna get tan lines.
457
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,073
Sideboob. There... Sorry.
Sideboob. Ozzy, look!
458
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,610
Okay! Come on!
459
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,491
You're a lucky man, Oz.
460
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,915
Oh, come on, guys.
I think we're all pretty
461
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,786
lucky.
462
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,299
Wait, is that Heather?
463
00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,137
Yeah, it is.
464
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,633
Heather.
465
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:52,760
Chris!
466
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,811
Hey.
467
00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,479
What are you doing here?
468
00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,393
I guess we had
the same idea, huh?
469
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,107
Chris, this is Ron,
my boyfriend.
470
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,565
Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
471
00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,732
How do you do?
472
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,817
Ron's a cardiologist
at my hospital.
473
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,324
A cardiologist. Wow.
474
00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,037
Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call
me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron.
475
00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,082
So you feel free.
476
00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,705
Okay.
477
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,957
Hey, fuckface!
478
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,168
Choir chick! Whoa!
479
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,590
Nice to see you, too, Stifler.
480
00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,792
Who's this douche?
481
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,173
I'm her boyfriend.
482
00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,632
So, you two are banging,
483
00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,259
and you two used to bang.
484
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,266
This must be awkward
for all of you.
485
00:26:37,545 --> 00:26:38,097
It is now.
486
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,650
That little shit took my top!
487
00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,152
Give it back!
488
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,149
Um, that's my girlfriend.
489
00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,609
What's this? What's this?
490
00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,789
Hey, kid!
What do you think you're doing?
491
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,541
- Come on, come on, let's go!
- Hey!
492
00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,827
Come on, guys. Not cool!
493
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,955
What're you assholes gonna do about it?
494
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,133
Well, that was interesting.
495
00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,676
Well, should we do something?
496
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,143
What are we gonna do? Come on.
497
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,393
Agreed. There's no need
to stoop to their level.
498
00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:21,978
Fuck that!
499
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,064
I know exactly
where they're going.
500
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,363
Stifler?
501
00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,417
Where the hell is he?
502
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:49,927
Guys, this is stupid.
503
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,213
I really can't keep Michelle waiting.
Can we just head back?
504
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,256
Hold on.
Let Stifler do his thing.
505
00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,517
Yeah, that's what
I'm afraid of.
506
00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,726
Did you guys see
the look on their faces?
507
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:06,940
Fucking awesome.
508
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,570
He is crazy.
509
00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,858
I think one of those guys
was Kara's babysitter.
510
00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,033
Which one?
511
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,407
You know, the one that
looked like Adam Sandler.
512
00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,130
Stifler better not
do anything crazy.
513
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,915
All he's gonna do
is tell them off.
514
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,879
I thought he was gonna
cut their jet skis free.
515
00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,589
What happened to pissing
in their suntan lotion?
516
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,221
Hold on. He told me he was
going to steal their beer.
517
00:28:36,122 --> 00:28:36,469
Stifler.
518
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,362
Oh, wait. There he is.
519
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,563
All right.
520
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,945
Yep, he's
taking their beer.
521
00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,276
All right, hurry up,
Stifler. Come on.
522
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,496
What is he doing?
523
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,081
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Wait.
524
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,783
- Oh, God!
- Oh, my God.
525
00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,080
- No!
-Steven!
526
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,160
Oh, God.
527
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,333
Yo, so you really think Kara's
gonna give it up tonight?
528
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,419
She was waiting until she turns 18.
You do the math.
529
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,262
The only math I know is you've added
your penis to her vagina zero times.
530
00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,519
Jennifer's not a skank.
531
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,595
Dude, yes, she is.
532
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:24,771
I'm gonna throw up.
533
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,274
Oh, my God. That's disgusting.
534
00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,475
What're you doing?
535
00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,362
Hurry up. Come on!
536
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,607
Down it, man!
Just chug it! Chug it!
537
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,692
Do it. Do it! Don't puss out.
538
00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,360
Don't puss out!
539
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,444
Let's just go. Let's go.
540
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,529
Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go.
541
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,707
You want another?
542
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,866
For sure.
543
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,626
Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna
be the night she promised me a year ago.
544
00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,800
What the...
545
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,223
Hey! Dipshit!
546
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,733
No!
547
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,236
No, no!
548
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,572
Stifler! Are you crazy?
549
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,160
Jesus, Stifler, what happened
to just stealing their beer?
550
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,245
I know, this is so
much better, right?
551
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,205
What?
552
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,252
You destroyed
their jet skis.
553
00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,413
They splashed us.
554
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,415
So...
555
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,680
Come on, guys.
That was pretty funny.
556
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,683
Maybe in high school it was funny.
Now it's just a felony.
557
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,014
Only if we get caught.
558
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,846
Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice
giving those kids a little payback.
559
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,015
Maybe it was good that they will
learn to respect their elders.
560
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,399
Exactly!
561
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,232
Hey, give me a second, I gotta
find some toilet paper.
562
00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,611
That's gross.
563
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,989
What's up,
Class of '99-ers?
564
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,116
Oh, my God! Vicky!
565
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,193
Hi!
566
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,277
Hey!
567
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,616
I can't believe you're here.
568
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,288
Yeah, I flew in from
New York last night.
569
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,915
I've been hanging
out with my parents.
570
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:09,122
They were actually just
talking about you earlier.
571
00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,831
Really? About what?
572
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,463
That time they caught us
making out at the Falls.
573
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,044
Oh, right.
574
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,093
The Falls. Wow, I haven't
been there in forever.
575
00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,299
Michelle used to love
going to the Falls.
576
00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,805
The place is romance incarnate.
577
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,138
Hell, yeah.
I got my first rim job at the Falls.
578
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,426
Okay.
579
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,304
Hey, sweetie.
580
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,389
Mmm, sweetie pie!
581
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,686
Hello.
582
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,566
So, the guys were all talking
about heading over to the Falls.
583
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,781
Well, what about
Jim and Michelle time?
584
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,154
I was thinking it could
be kind of romantic.
585
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,867
Well, I'd love to, but your
dad has been with Ev all day.
586
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,698
Yeah, no, you're right.
587
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,866
Okay. Yeah, we'll
just, we'll go home.
588
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,082
Oh, no, no.
You go and have fun.
589
00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,253
- Really?
- Yeah.
590
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,924
Just, when you get home,
you just better be ready.
591
00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,630
You better be ready.
592
00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,340
I'm ready.
593
00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,642
Um, Stifler, do you know
where you're going?
594
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,273
I know this place
like the back of my cock.
595
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,244
It looks like
a high school party.
596
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,532
With high school chicks.
597
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,830
It's on.
598
00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,542
Watch it, Stifler. You know these
girls are, like, half your age.
599
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,796
I know.
600
00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,549
Okay, is it just me, or do girls
today seem a bit sluttier?
601
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,762
Definitely.
602
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,890
Teen sex, rainbow parties,
sexting nude photos...
603
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,430
I saw it all on
Kathie Lee & Hoda.
604
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,645
Happy birthday!
605
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,656
Jim?
606
00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,783
- Kara.
- You came!
607
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,361
Hey!
608
00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,492
Sorry.
609
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,914
Happy birthday.
610
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,460
Oh, my God,
is this the babysitter?
611
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,502
Mmm-hmm.
612
00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,081
You make it sound like I'm a superhero.
613
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,966
Faster than a speeding stroller,
more powerful than a mini-van.
614
00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,552
I told you he was funny.
615
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,837
He's adorable.
616
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,096
Hey, Jim. Do you wanna
introduce me to your friends?
617
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,259
No.
618
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,017
Girls, this is Stifler.
619
00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,940
So, how do you know
my best friend Jim?
620
00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,817
Jim used to be my babysitter.
621
00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,693
Hey, I was just
gonna do a birthday shot.
622
00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,115
Do you guys
wanna do one with me?
623
00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,316
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
624
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,400
Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
625
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,369
- I shouldn't.
- Yes, we should, yes, we should.
626
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,824
Never have I ever
had sex in public.
627
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,998
Really? None of you?
628
00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,792
Oh, come on, Heather.
You haven't drank once.
629
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,506
You are such a prude!
630
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,424
Or maybe I've just
never had sex in public.
631
00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:15,764
Okay, never have I
ever been in an orgy.
632
00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,274
They were really nice guys.
633
00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,153
Believe it or not, this is
my first high school party.
634
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,783
You didn't miss much.
635
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,493
I always preferred staying at
home, throwing on a little NPR.
636
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,498
You were so much
cooler than me.
637
00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,579
I sat around writing
X-Files fan fiction.
638
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,344
I translated The Brothers
Karamazov into Latin for fun.
639
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,173
That is so sexy.
640
00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,679
You know it is.
641
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,518
I've only been
working as an architect
642
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,017
for the last few years,
and from home.
643
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,056
You've been with the same
company for over ten years.
644
00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,476
That's awesome, it sounds like
everything is working out for you.
645
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,941
Yeah. I mean, everything's
good, especially work-wise.
646
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,523
But now that we're
back here in the town,
647
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,149
and we see, like,
all of our old friends,
648
00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:11,865
and everyone's married
and having kids,
649
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,951
it just makes me,
you know, think.
650
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,537
You okay there, Kev?
651
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,208
Yeah, I just don't
normally drink like this.
652
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,418
You're telling me you haven't
gotten a little bit tipsy
653
00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,919
on Myers Family Wine Night?
654
00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,131
I see somebody's been
stalking my Facebook page.
655
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,672
At least I don't take
pictures of my meals.
656
00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,306
Who's stalking who now?
657
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,810
Okay, so I've been by your
page maybe once or twice.
658
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,222
You were dating someone
named Alessandro?
659
00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,059
You know, he does know that he can take
a picture with his shirt on, right?
660
00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,320
Alessandro is long gone.
661
00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,990
It's over, huh?
662
00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,238
Okay, after this drink,
I have to go home.
663
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,372
Jim.
664
00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,294
There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl
over there that you used to babysit.
665
00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,420
And you're not going to
do anything about that?
666
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,673
Need I remind you that
I am married to Michelle?
667
00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,749
Exactly.
668
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,631
Dude, these young chicks, they know
some crazy shit in the bedroom.
669
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,013
You could take what
you learn from Kara,
670
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,769
bring it home,
and apply it to Michelle.
671
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,098
You do care about your
marriage, don't you, Jim?
672
00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,766
What are you talking
about, Stifler?
673
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,022
I'm not gonna cheat on my wife!
674
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,187
I'm a father
for Christ's sakes.
675
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,356
Yeah, that's perfect.
676
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,151
Yeah, chicks love a father figure.
Keep playing that card, dude.
677
00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,490
It's not a card,
it's the truth.
678
00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,030
- Hey.
- Hi.
679
00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,456
What are you guys
talking about?
680
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,784
Oh, you know... Just...
681
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,375
Jim was just saying how much
fun he had taking care of you.
682
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,165
Hey, ladies, why don't we give
them some time to catch up?
683
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,420
- Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah, after you.
684
00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,797
No, that's not necessary.
We should all hang out together.
685
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,553
Why don't we all...
Stifler, just...
686
00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,050
Be her daddy.
687
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,137
Stifler? Stifler!
688
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:05,141
So, sounds like you and Mia have
quite an adventurous lifestyle.
689
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,726
Sometimes a little
too adventurous.
690
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,398
Wow. Well, Heather's a bit
more on the conservative side.
691
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,481
But, uh...
692
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,987
- Hey!
- Hi.
693
00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,663
But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I
could use a little adventure myself.
694
00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:22,703
What are you getting at, Ron?
695
00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:27,588
I'm just saying that usually
I'm not one for swapping,
696
00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:33,003
but the fact that you've been with
Heather already, kind of makes it okay.
697
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,588
So, what do you think?
698
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,923
Think they'd be into it?
699
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,723
I'm kidding.
Come on, I'm kidding!
700
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,188
Seriously,
I would never do that!
701
00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,937
Unless you guys wanted to.
702
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,854
So you've really been to every
country in South America?
703
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,944
No, no, not all of them.
704
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,201
And I don't consider
French Guiana a nation.
705
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,202
I remember, I couldn't
wait till graduation
706
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,288
so I could leave this town
and reinvent myself.
707
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,170
You have certainly
reinvented yourself.
708
00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,337
I don't know.
709
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,632
There's just a part of me
that still wishes that
710
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,130
I could just explore
the world, you know?
711
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,136
Be everything I set out to be.
712
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,308
You can be whoever you wanna be.
You just gotta be it.
713
00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,304
- You wanna make out?
- Yeah.
714
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,985
Are you crazy?
I love the Twilight books.
715
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,896
New Moon is my favorite.
716
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,064
Mine, too!
717
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,775
Oh, my God!
We have, like, so much in common!
718
00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:40,159
- I know!
- I know!
719
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,575
Wanna hit this?
720
00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,411
In more ways than one.
721
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,464
I don't know who this is, but
I'm pretty fucking busy right now.
722
00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,844
So sorry to interrupt, Stafler.
723
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,131
Didn't realize the Special
Olympics competed at night.
724
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,298
Oh, fuck.
725
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,351
What the hell's
going on over there?
726
00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,848
What, are you choking
on your own dick?
727
00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,853
Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy,
nothing.
728
00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,684
What can I do for you, sir?
729
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,694
Bob from Acquisitions
had a heart attack.
730
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,521
Some idiot told him
that he was fired.
731
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,905
He flipped out, I don't know.
732
00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,408
Listen, I need someone
to finish his presentation.
733
00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,320
I need you to go in on Sunday
and get everything ready. Yes?
734
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,784
Oh, wait, Sunday.
735
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,870
I got my high school reunion.
736
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,158
Oh, wow, how fun!
737
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,664
Yeah, no, I'll just
call the chairman,
738
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,835
and I'll get him to reschedule.
739
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,248
Seriously?
Hey, that would be awesome!
740
00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,793
That was a fucking joke, you moron.
Jesus Christ, what am I doing?
741
00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,757
You know what, I am gonna
handle this myself.
742
00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:43,716
No. No, no, no,
listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
743
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,601
I can do it, okay?
I promise, I'll get it done.
744
00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,303
Just don't fuck up, Stafler.
745
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,935
It's Stifler.
746
00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:53,065
Dick! Hey, ladies...
747
00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:55,602
- Ladies?
- They bailed, dude.
748
00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,486
Aw, fuck!
749
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:00,648
- Ugh!
- Um...
750
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,992
Hey, Kara, how are you
getting home tonight?
751
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,832
AJ was supposed to
drive my car back,
752
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,333
but he hasn't
even shown up yet.
753
00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:12,835
Some lame excuse
about his jet skis.
754
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,667
Can you believe that jerk?
755
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,333
What about you?
756
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,671
Will you take me?
757
00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:22,053
Uh... Um...
758
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:25,674
Come on! We're going
to the same place.
759
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,763
Besides, it wouldn't
be responsible
760
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:30,186
to let me drive
in this condition.
761
00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:31,600
Right?
762
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,238
Okay, Kara.
763
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,234
Hey! Whoa! Careful!
Careful. Yeah.
764
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,077
Oh, my God, I love this song.
765
00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:47,282
It's a good one.
766
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,909
Isn't classic rock the best?
767
00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:52,372
Classic rock?
This is classic rock now?
768
00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:56,421
Hey, you know, Kara, you
should drink some more water.
769
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,043
Where's that bottle I gave you?
770
00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,129
Oh, it's right here. Okay.
771
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,385
In the back.
772
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:10,090
Shit. Sorry. Sorry.
There was a...
773
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:15,474
There was a little baby
squirrel in the road, so...
774
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,111
Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
That's not water. Okay.
775
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,614
It's a little too much now.
776
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:27,573
I love how, after all these years,
you're still taking care of me.
777
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,705
Well, you know, a
babysitter's job never ends.
778
00:41:31,580 --> 00:41:34,000
You knew I always
had a crush on you, right?
779
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,253
No.
780
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,540
I want you to be my first.
781
00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,260
Your first?
782
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:46,421
Oh, God. Okay. Um...
783
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,635
Kara, listen. Um...
784
00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:54,145
A person's virginity is
something sacred, you know?
785
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,805
You should save yourself
for someone special.
786
00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:56,935
You're special.
787
00:41:57,015 --> 00:42:00,485
No! Not special.
788
00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,771
You think? I really...
789
00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,773
What are you doing?
790
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,031
Hey, what are you doing?
791
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,693
Come on. No one
will ever find out.
792
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,117
I don't know. I don't think...
793
00:42:12,142 --> 00:42:15,069
No, I don't.
I don't think that's um.
794
00:42:15,070 --> 00:42:17,458
I don't think I should do that.
795
00:42:17,459 --> 00:42:20,722
No I-I can't, I won't
so, you know that's
796
00:42:20,723 --> 00:42:22,121
Whoa. Hello. Okay.
797
00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:25,663
Kara! Kara! That's kissing.
Kara you need to stop
798
00:42:25,664 --> 00:42:26,548
Stop!
799
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,657
You don't think I'm pretty?
800
00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:34,541
Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara.
You're very, very...
801
00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,371
- Really?
- Yes, very pretty.
802
00:42:36,455 --> 00:42:37,877
- But I... Very pretty.
- Thanks.
803
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,462
Oh, my God!
804
00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:42,878
Holy shit! What?
805
00:42:44,212 --> 00:42:45,213
Oh, my... Where did your...
806
00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:46,298
Come on.
807
00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:48,809
I can't think of
a better birthday gift.
808
00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,514
What about the new iPhone?
809
00:42:50,594 --> 00:42:52,562
Huh? Maybe a little pendant?
The new Nicki Minaj album?
810
00:42:52,637 --> 00:42:54,731
- No.
- No? Boobies.
811
00:42:54,848 --> 00:42:56,145
- I want you!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
812
00:42:56,224 --> 00:42:57,476
You can't... Don't do that.
813
00:42:57,559 --> 00:42:59,061
That's not good, don't...
814
00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:00,646
Come on, stop...
Would you...
815
00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:02,689
Kara! Kara! Stop it.
816
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:04,441
Shit!
817
00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:09,992
Shit. Kara?
818
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:12,157
Holy Jesus! Kara?
819
00:43:12,324 --> 00:43:14,702
Kara! Kara!
Please wake up, Kara!
820
00:43:14,868 --> 00:43:16,541
Kara, wake up. Kara!
821
00:43:16,703 --> 00:43:17,704
Are you okay?
822
00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:18,921
Oh, Jesus, God!
823
00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:20,419
Oh, my God, are you all right?
824
00:43:21,041 --> 00:43:22,668
Hey, hi.
825
00:43:23,752 --> 00:43:25,846
- Jim?
- Hey!
826
00:43:26,004 --> 00:43:28,553
What? This is crazy!
827
00:43:28,757 --> 00:43:30,134
Are you all right?
828
00:43:30,217 --> 00:43:33,687
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm okay. I was just... Um...
829
00:43:33,845 --> 00:43:36,623
I was reaching for something.
830
00:43:36,689 --> 00:43:38,562
- Everything's okay.
- Everything's fine.
831
00:43:39,101 --> 00:43:40,444
- I don't know if you've heard.
- Mmm?
832
00:43:40,519 --> 00:43:41,520
Did you hear?
833
00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:44,781
I am in charge of the reunion.
834
00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:47,739
Oh! Yeah, no, that's...
Yeah, that's right.
835
00:43:47,901 --> 00:43:49,369
Got a whole '90s theme planned.
836
00:43:49,528 --> 00:43:51,280
Oh. That's...
837
00:43:51,446 --> 00:43:53,244
I booked Chumbawamba.
838
00:43:53,323 --> 00:43:55,371
Yeah. But the pricks
cancelled yesterday.
839
00:43:55,575 --> 00:43:58,374
Was a setback, but you know me,
840
00:43:58,578 --> 00:44:00,957
"I get knocked down but I
get up again."
841
00:44:04,918 --> 00:44:06,920
Oh, my God!
Okay, I see what's going on.
842
00:44:13,510 --> 00:44:14,682
Yep.
843
00:44:14,761 --> 00:44:15,887
I'll see you later, buddy.
844
00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:17,727
All right then, I'll see you.
845
00:44:20,225 --> 00:44:22,728
Jesus, God. Kara.
Kara, wake up.
846
00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:24,896
- I just need a nap.
- What?
847
00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:27,157
Kara, this isn't time
for a nap. Kara, wake up.
848
00:44:27,315 --> 00:44:28,612
This isn't napping time.
849
00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,411
Kara? Shit.
850
00:44:36,491 --> 00:44:40,337
Oh, God, this is bad.
This is very, very bad.
851
00:44:51,798 --> 00:44:53,141
What took you guys so long?
852
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,348
We were looking for Kevin.
Couldn't find him.
853
00:44:55,510 --> 00:44:58,980
Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging
got wasted, so we had to drop her off.
854
00:44:59,139 --> 00:45:00,140
You brought him?
855
00:45:00,223 --> 00:45:01,395
Of course they brought me.
856
00:45:01,516 --> 00:45:03,063
When you guys were busy
jacking off in high school,
857
00:45:03,143 --> 00:45:05,111
I was running this
drill every weekend.
858
00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:07,193
Now, let's see what
we are dealing with.
859
00:45:09,774 --> 00:45:10,775
Oh!
860
00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:13,111
Holy shit!
861
00:45:13,278 --> 00:45:14,245
Way to go, Jim.
862
00:45:14,321 --> 00:45:17,495
Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay?
Nothing happened.
863
00:45:17,657 --> 00:45:18,658
Stop that!
864
00:45:18,867 --> 00:45:19,914
I'm sorry.
865
00:45:19,993 --> 00:45:21,415
So, Jim, what do you wanna do?
866
00:45:21,494 --> 00:45:22,746
I don't know.
867
00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:24,627
I can't just leave her
here naked, you know?
868
00:45:24,789 --> 00:45:27,463
I mean, if the cops come by
and find out I'm involved,
869
00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:29,465
I'm screwed.
870
00:45:29,628 --> 00:45:31,505
That leaves us
with two options.
871
00:45:32,464 --> 00:45:34,137
We dump the body or
we sneak her inside.
872
00:45:34,299 --> 00:45:36,301
Dump the body?
This isn't a mob hit.
873
00:45:36,468 --> 00:45:37,685
Okay, wait a second.
874
00:45:37,844 --> 00:45:41,189
I have been in her house
a million times to babysit.
875
00:45:41,348 --> 00:45:44,397
I can totally sneak her in
through the back door.
876
00:45:44,559 --> 00:45:47,153
I need you guys to
distract her parents.
877
00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,030
Do you think you can do that?
878
00:45:49,397 --> 00:45:53,493
I'm an expert, Jim.
Trust me. I got this shit.
879
00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:02,539
Good evening, sir.
880
00:46:02,702 --> 00:46:04,545
My friend's car broke down,
881
00:46:04,704 --> 00:46:08,174
and we were just wondering if we
could use your phone to call AAA.
882
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,379
You mean to tell me that none
of you have cell phones?
883
00:46:20,220 --> 00:46:23,394
Oh, my God, I know you.
You were on Celebrity Dance Off.
884
00:46:23,556 --> 00:46:25,479
Oh, yeah!
885
00:46:25,558 --> 00:46:26,684
Ostreicher.
886
00:46:26,851 --> 00:46:28,068
Oh, yeah.
887
00:46:28,228 --> 00:46:29,354
Hey, come on in.
888
00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:32,782
That was very smooth, Stifler.
889
00:46:32,941 --> 00:46:34,193
Shut up, shitbreak.
890
00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:36,532
The last time I did this,
cell phones didn't exist.
891
00:46:52,085 --> 00:46:53,211
Shit!
892
00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,434
Daddy.
893
00:47:02,095 --> 00:47:03,142
Look, Mom, Daddy!
894
00:47:03,221 --> 00:47:04,222
Shit!
895
00:47:18,987 --> 00:47:20,739
Oh, fuck!
896
00:47:21,823 --> 00:47:23,416
Kara?
897
00:47:24,576 --> 00:47:25,577
Kara?
898
00:47:27,537 --> 00:47:28,584
Kara?
899
00:47:28,747 --> 00:47:30,966
Gonna have to find me.
900
00:47:31,041 --> 00:47:32,213
Kara?
901
00:47:33,376 --> 00:47:35,378
Thank you, Sheranda.
You've been very helpful.
902
00:47:35,462 --> 00:47:37,885
You get a Triple
A-plus in my book.
903
00:47:38,048 --> 00:47:41,097
Oh, you take care, too.
Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
904
00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:46,473
So, that was AAA on the phone and
they should be here in a jiffy.
905
00:47:47,390 --> 00:47:49,108
Does this song sound familiar?
906
00:47:54,397 --> 00:47:57,071
You were such a good dancer.
I felt so bad when you got voted off.
907
00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,322
Thank you.
908
00:47:58,485 --> 00:48:00,487
But I have to say you're
much sexier in person.
909
00:48:00,695 --> 00:48:04,666
Okay. Calm down there, Susan.
910
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,078
Dude, she wants to fuck
you big time, dude.
911
00:48:08,244 --> 00:48:10,417
- You got to hit that.
- No fucking way.
912
00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:11,832
Do it for Jim, dude,
don't be selfish.
913
00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:15,134
Hey, you know what?
I think I have to go to the bathroom.
914
00:48:16,002 --> 00:48:18,096
Kara, this is not funny.
915
00:48:18,296 --> 00:48:20,970
Kara, come on! Kara, come out.
916
00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,349
Boo!
917
00:48:22,509 --> 00:48:23,806
Oh, my God!
918
00:48:23,831 --> 00:48:25,287
Okay. Right. Here
919
00:48:25,288 --> 00:48:26,384
Come on.
920
00:48:26,385 --> 00:48:27,500
Alright. Okay.
921
00:48:27,501 --> 00:48:28,298
Good. Okay.
922
00:48:28,299 --> 00:48:29,746
Alright. Come on.
923
00:48:29,747 --> 00:48:30,767
Okay, good.
924
00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:32,880
- Watch it
- You never could find me.
925
00:48:33,042 --> 00:48:35,761
Jim, I don't mean to alarm you
but you don't have much time.
926
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:36,921
Yes, I know.
927
00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:38,431
- I like your scarf.
- Okay.
928
00:48:38,589 --> 00:48:40,262
- I like your breasts,
- Door.
929
00:48:40,425 --> 00:48:41,893
Would it be okay
if I get a picture?
930
00:48:42,051 --> 00:48:43,052
Sure.
931
00:48:47,557 --> 00:48:49,150
I know it's in here somewhere.
932
00:48:53,271 --> 00:48:55,239
Okay, a bottle of hair spray...
933
00:48:55,314 --> 00:48:56,361
You guys all right?
934
00:48:56,441 --> 00:48:57,784
Yeah. Yeah.
935
00:48:58,568 --> 00:48:59,615
You know something?
936
00:48:59,819 --> 00:49:04,620
I really was admiring how clean
your toilet was in your bathroom.
937
00:49:05,158 --> 00:49:06,284
Thanks.
938
00:49:06,951 --> 00:49:09,124
You know what?
I have to use the restroom, too.
939
00:49:09,287 --> 00:49:10,413
No, you don't.
940
00:49:18,504 --> 00:49:19,630
Let's get in bed.
941
00:49:19,797 --> 00:49:20,344
Come on and get in bed with me?
942
00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:21,549
No, I'm not getting in bed...
943
00:49:21,632 --> 00:49:22,679
Come on. Get in bed with me.
944
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,053
No, I'm not... Kara, please.
Oh, God. Please.
945
00:49:25,136 --> 00:49:26,137
Oh, shit!
946
00:49:27,305 --> 00:49:28,602
Stifler, what are
you doing here?
947
00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:30,608
I just wanted another glimpse.
948
00:49:30,767 --> 00:49:32,189
No. Why'd you put her clothes
back on, dude? Boo.
949
00:49:32,268 --> 00:49:33,485
You have to go.
950
00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,363
What was that?
951
00:49:36,481 --> 00:49:38,700
That sounded like
it came from outside.
952
00:49:38,858 --> 00:49:40,701
No, that came from Kara's room.
953
00:49:40,860 --> 00:49:41,952
Oh, Jesus.
954
00:49:42,028 --> 00:49:43,029
Kara?
955
00:49:45,073 --> 00:49:46,074
Oh, my God.
956
00:49:47,825 --> 00:49:49,042
Go, go, go!
957
00:49:56,334 --> 00:49:57,711
What the hell's
going on in here?
958
00:49:59,670 --> 00:50:00,967
Hi, Daddy.
959
00:50:01,714 --> 00:50:02,761
How'd you get back in?
960
00:50:03,841 --> 00:50:05,013
I don't remember.
961
00:50:05,176 --> 00:50:06,644
You don't remember?
962
00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,559
What was that sound?
963
00:50:08,638 --> 00:50:09,605
I don't know.
964
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:10,772
What do you mean,
you don't know?
965
00:50:10,848 --> 00:50:11,849
I don't know.
966
00:50:13,851 --> 00:50:15,194
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
967
00:50:15,353 --> 00:50:16,479
No.
968
00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:19,445
Kara, I told you these boys
try to get you drunk
969
00:50:19,524 --> 00:50:21,151
so they can take
advantage of you.
970
00:50:21,234 --> 00:50:22,827
I'm old enough
to know that, Dad.
971
00:50:22,985 --> 00:50:24,578
Yeah, well, I don't
want to go to jail
972
00:50:24,654 --> 00:50:26,577
for kicking some
horny kid's teeth in
973
00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:28,408
but I will, believe me.
974
00:50:32,078 --> 00:50:33,204
What is that?
975
00:50:33,871 --> 00:50:36,671
Oh, that's Mr. Moo!
976
00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:40,215
Will you get him for me,
Daddy? Please.
977
00:50:57,436 --> 00:50:59,564
I can't be mad at my angel.
978
00:51:05,570 --> 00:51:07,743
Happy birthday, princess.
979
00:51:07,947 --> 00:51:09,039
Thanks, Dad.
980
00:51:18,541 --> 00:51:19,633
What are you doing?
981
00:51:20,418 --> 00:51:21,761
Nothing.
982
00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:26,636
Oh, jeez.
983
00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:29,932
Stifler?
984
00:51:31,095 --> 00:51:32,187
Stifler?
985
00:51:32,263 --> 00:51:33,310
Up here, dude.
986
00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:36,108
I told you I was an expert.
987
00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:38,485
Oh, shit.
988
00:51:39,145 --> 00:51:40,772
What the hell is going on now?
989
00:51:43,691 --> 00:51:44,863
Hey.
990
00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:46,819
Want to go to
a Justin Bieber concert?
991
00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:48,325
Uh... Jim?
992
00:51:48,613 --> 00:51:49,990
Stifler, come on. Come on!
993
00:51:50,156 --> 00:51:51,453
Let's go.
994
00:51:52,575 --> 00:51:55,328
You and you, stay here.
995
00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:57,045
Don't push me.
996
00:51:58,331 --> 00:51:59,799
Whoa! Oh, my God.
997
00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:03,840
Ah!
998
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,263
Kara, where
the hell are you?
999
00:52:05,338 --> 00:52:07,136
I'm on my way to
your place and...
1000
00:52:10,468 --> 00:52:11,845
What the...
1001
00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:12,975
Fuck!
1002
00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:20,107
What the hell is going on?
1003
00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:22,647
Oh, God!
1004
00:52:34,784 --> 00:52:37,162
Hey, stud.
1005
00:52:37,328 --> 00:52:39,171
I thought you'd never...
1006
00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:04,444
Oh, shit, shit.
We were supposed to...
1007
00:53:04,563 --> 00:53:05,610
No, it's fine.
1008
00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,692
What? No, God, it's not fine.
1009
00:53:08,734 --> 00:53:11,738
Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle.
I really... I wanted to, I just...
1010
00:53:11,904 --> 00:53:13,952
I'm going to drop
Ev at my grandma's
1011
00:53:14,031 --> 00:53:16,033
and I'll be back
this afternoon.
1012
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,168
No, Michelle, hold on.
1013
00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:23,507
Jim, I'm worried.
1014
00:53:24,583 --> 00:53:26,176
What are you worried about?
1015
00:53:26,335 --> 00:53:30,181
Just we're like so out of sync.
1016
00:53:32,258 --> 00:53:33,885
I just...
1017
00:53:34,051 --> 00:53:36,554
I don't know how much longer
we can go on like this.
1018
00:53:39,056 --> 00:53:43,277
I promise you I will do everything
I can to make it up to you.
1019
00:53:43,602 --> 00:53:44,899
Okay?
1020
00:53:45,062 --> 00:53:46,689
Stifler's having
a party tonight.
1021
00:53:47,857 --> 00:53:52,328
Okay, I know that doesn't
sound romantic or anything,
1022
00:53:52,403 --> 00:53:57,910
but remember our first time
was at a Stifler party.
1023
00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,622
You made me your bitch.
1024
00:54:02,246 --> 00:54:04,624
Yes. Yes, I did.
1025
00:54:24,143 --> 00:54:25,645
Tell me when, okay?
1026
00:54:25,978 --> 00:54:27,230
What the fuck?
1027
00:54:36,614 --> 00:54:37,957
Mmm.
1028
00:54:54,799 --> 00:54:57,097
So, Mia.
1029
00:54:58,094 --> 00:55:01,143
She's a free spirit.
1030
00:55:01,305 --> 00:55:02,807
She's something else.
1031
00:55:02,973 --> 00:55:04,475
Yeah, she is.
1032
00:55:06,519 --> 00:55:09,318
Wait a minute, do I sense
a little jealousy there?
1033
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:10,982
- No. Mmm-mmm.
- No?
1034
00:55:11,148 --> 00:55:13,401
Hey, don't forget, you were
the one who broke up with me
1035
00:55:13,484 --> 00:55:14,781
before you went to med school.
1036
00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:19,036
Hey, you were moving to LA
with no return in sight.
1037
00:55:19,198 --> 00:55:21,667
You can't blame me for
wanting to settle down.
1038
00:55:21,992 --> 00:55:24,165
No, I don't.
1039
00:55:24,995 --> 00:55:27,748
I just don't
want you to settle.
1040
00:55:28,374 --> 00:55:30,547
Look who's jealous now.
1041
00:55:30,709 --> 00:55:33,508
I wouldn't call being
with Ron "settling."
1042
00:55:33,671 --> 00:55:36,174
Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper.
1043
00:55:36,549 --> 00:55:37,971
What is that supposed to mean?
1044
00:55:38,342 --> 00:55:40,060
Nothing. Um...
1045
00:55:41,220 --> 00:55:44,315
I'm sorry. You're right.
1046
00:55:46,016 --> 00:55:47,689
I am a bit jealous.
1047
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,863
You know, it's funny.
1048
00:55:51,814 --> 00:55:55,364
In some ways, you've
completely changed,
1049
00:55:55,526 --> 00:55:58,496
and, in other ways,
you're exactly the same.
1050
00:55:58,654 --> 00:56:00,702
Heather, you can believe this,
1051
00:56:00,865 --> 00:56:02,367
nothing's changed.
1052
00:56:04,827 --> 00:56:05,874
Oh, my God.
1053
00:56:06,036 --> 00:56:07,663
Chris Ostreicher?
1054
00:56:08,205 --> 00:56:09,377
Hi, girls.
1055
00:56:09,457 --> 00:56:10,583
Can I get a pic?
1056
00:56:10,749 --> 00:56:11,841
Sure.
1057
00:56:17,506 --> 00:56:18,553
Dad?
1058
00:56:20,259 --> 00:56:21,556
- Oh, hey, Dad.
- Hey, Jim.
1059
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:23,346
I'm just going to
run out for a sec.
1060
00:56:23,512 --> 00:56:26,356
I was just watching
your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
1061
00:56:28,725 --> 00:56:29,772
I got
your Jew scarf!
1062
00:56:29,935 --> 00:56:31,562
Give it back, Stifler.
1063
00:56:34,356 --> 00:56:39,783
I think I'm the happiest man
in the world thanks to you.
1064
00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:47,290
Yeah, I miss her too, Dad.
1065
00:56:49,288 --> 00:56:50,460
I know.
1066
00:56:58,797 --> 00:57:02,768
Dad, you've always been
there to give me advice.
1067
00:57:03,093 --> 00:57:06,768
But if there's anything
that you want to talk about,
1068
00:57:08,098 --> 00:57:09,600
I'm here for you.
1069
00:57:11,143 --> 00:57:13,612
Yeah, I don't think
there's anything
1070
00:57:13,687 --> 00:57:16,110
I really need
to talk about, Jim.
1071
00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:20,115
Do you think maybe
it's time for you to
1072
00:57:20,569 --> 00:57:21,946
meet someone else?
1073
00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:25,161
Dad, it's okay.
1074
00:57:25,324 --> 00:57:29,454
What you're going through
is perfectly natural.
1075
00:57:30,371 --> 00:57:33,170
You know, there are
services out there...
1076
00:57:33,332 --> 00:57:34,379
- Services?
- Yeah.
1077
00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:35,675
Like what?
1078
00:57:35,834 --> 00:57:37,632
- A happy ending?
- What's that?
1079
00:57:37,795 --> 00:57:38,842
Because I won't go there.
1080
00:57:38,921 --> 00:57:39,922
Oh, my God.
1081
00:57:40,047 --> 00:57:42,049
I don't need that...
I don't need that kind of massage, Jim.
1082
00:57:42,132 --> 00:57:43,224
That's not what I was...
1083
00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:44,893
Because, you know what,
it's dangerous.
1084
00:57:44,969 --> 00:57:46,437
And you can pick things up.
1085
00:57:46,512 --> 00:57:48,389
You don't even wanna know
what you can pick up.
1086
00:57:48,556 --> 00:57:50,058
- Talk to your uncle Mort.
- I'd rather not.
1087
00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:51,357
He was in the hospital
for two weeks.
1088
00:57:51,433 --> 00:57:52,901
That's disgusting.
1089
00:57:56,146 --> 00:57:58,649
I was talking about
1090
00:57:59,358 --> 00:58:00,951
online dating services.
1091
00:58:02,653 --> 00:58:03,700
No, Jim.
1092
00:58:03,862 --> 00:58:06,911
Yeah, right, at my age?
I don't think so.
1093
00:58:07,074 --> 00:58:09,076
I've been out of
the game for so long.
1094
00:58:09,159 --> 00:58:10,661
There wasn't even
a game back then.
1095
00:58:10,744 --> 00:58:14,749
Dad, don't worry.
I'll hook you up.
1096
00:58:20,004 --> 00:58:21,301
Do you have those photos?
1097
00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,265
Here you go.
1098
00:58:23,591 --> 00:58:24,592
Wow.
1099
00:58:24,675 --> 00:58:25,847
- Yeah.
- Oh.
1100
00:58:26,010 --> 00:58:27,262
We might need something
a little more recent.
1101
00:58:27,344 --> 00:58:28,345
Do you think?
1102
00:58:30,014 --> 00:58:33,109
Do you have something
that's a bit sexier?
1103
00:58:33,934 --> 00:58:35,151
Gotcha.
1104
00:58:39,231 --> 00:58:40,232
Did you...
1105
00:58:41,858 --> 00:58:42,075
Favorite music.
1106
00:58:42,359 --> 00:58:43,360
Um...
1107
00:58:43,611 --> 00:58:44,988
Herman's Hermits.
1108
00:58:45,362 --> 00:58:46,363
Okay.
1109
00:58:47,197 --> 00:58:48,164
Oh...
1110
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:51,210
Girls, one at a time, please.
1111
00:58:51,535 --> 00:58:52,707
Interests and hobbies.
1112
00:58:52,870 --> 00:58:53,962
Sudoku.
1113
00:58:54,121 --> 00:58:55,213
We'll come back to this one.
1114
00:59:02,129 --> 00:59:04,131
Are we sure we're
not taking off too much?
1115
00:59:04,298 --> 00:59:07,017
These caterpillars are
kind of my trademark.
1116
00:59:08,886 --> 00:59:11,560
Okay... Perfect.
1117
00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:14,145
- Take a look.
- I'm nervous.
1118
00:59:18,062 --> 00:59:21,066
Oh, that's fantastic!
1119
00:59:21,231 --> 00:59:24,235
That is a great look for me!
1120
00:59:24,485 --> 00:59:25,486
Huh?
1121
00:59:25,569 --> 00:59:29,199
Leaner lines.
I still have mobility.
1122
00:59:30,199 --> 00:59:32,167
Why didn't I do
this 30 years ago?
1123
00:59:32,242 --> 00:59:33,243
Looking good.
1124
00:59:33,410 --> 00:59:35,378
Why don't we test this
new look out tonight?
1125
00:59:35,704 --> 00:59:36,705
Oh, um...
1126
00:59:37,081 --> 00:59:40,460
The thing is, Stifler is
throwing a party tonight.
1127
00:59:40,751 --> 00:59:42,594
Oh! Well, another time.
1128
00:59:42,753 --> 00:59:44,972
But you could come with us.
1129
00:59:45,589 --> 00:59:46,886
It would be nice to
get out of the house.
1130
00:59:47,049 --> 00:59:48,596
I do have to warn you, though,
1131
00:59:48,759 --> 00:59:52,013
Stifler's parties
can get a little.
1132
00:59:52,179 --> 00:59:53,351
Wild.
1133
01:00:05,567 --> 01:00:08,946
What the fuck is this?
1134
01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:11,782
Who the hell changed the music?
1135
01:00:11,949 --> 01:00:14,247
Sorry, we thought this
was more baby-friendly.
1136
01:00:14,410 --> 01:00:17,209
- Didn't we?
- Yes, we did.
1137
01:00:17,371 --> 01:00:19,089
Stifmeister!
1138
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:23,961
Bluck!
1139
01:00:24,378 --> 01:00:25,595
Chester!
1140
01:00:28,674 --> 01:00:30,392
What have you
cock-smokers been up to?
1141
01:00:30,551 --> 01:00:32,849
- Well, we just got engaged.
- Yeah.
1142
01:00:33,011 --> 01:00:35,514
What? That's so fucking gay.
1143
01:00:37,391 --> 01:00:39,644
Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
1144
01:00:40,144 --> 01:00:41,566
Half the lacrosse team was gay.
1145
01:00:41,645 --> 01:00:43,773
You must have
known that, right?
1146
01:00:43,897 --> 01:00:46,446
Dude, you walked in on Doug
and Barry in the shower.
1147
01:00:47,776 --> 01:00:49,494
I just thought
they were wrestling.
1148
01:00:50,757 --> 01:00:53,683
- They were.
- Yeah they definitely were.
1149
01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,024
They just wasn't a
loser that night
1150
01:00:56,025 --> 01:00:56,609
Oh.
1151
01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:04,153
Are we sure this is Stifler's?
1152
01:01:04,775 --> 01:01:05,776
Ooh!
1153
01:01:05,859 --> 01:01:07,202
Hors d'oeuvres!
1154
01:01:07,319 --> 01:01:08,946
Why don't you give
this to our host, son?
1155
01:01:10,948 --> 01:01:11,949
Hmm.
1156
01:01:12,616 --> 01:01:14,960
Oh, my God! Look who it is.
1157
01:01:15,077 --> 01:01:16,169
Hey.
1158
01:01:18,288 --> 01:01:19,710
Sorry for interrupting
you guys last night.
1159
01:01:20,165 --> 01:01:22,042
Bravo, by the way.
1160
01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:24,962
Most wives stop doing that
after they get the ring.
1161
01:01:25,128 --> 01:01:26,971
- What are you talking about?
- Did you change your hair color?
1162
01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:32,478
So, is your buddy, the other
MILF guy, here tonight?
1163
01:01:32,636 --> 01:01:34,479
I thought you always come
to these things together.
1164
01:01:35,305 --> 01:01:39,310
Let's just say that friendship
is a two-way street.
1165
01:01:40,852 --> 01:01:42,354
Excuse me.
1166
01:01:44,523 --> 01:01:45,524
Mmm.
1167
01:01:45,816 --> 01:01:47,693
Could this party get any lamer?
1168
01:01:48,735 --> 01:01:50,328
It's not so bad.
1169
01:01:51,822 --> 01:01:53,495
You want some E?
1170
01:01:53,657 --> 01:01:55,375
No. Why do you have that?
1171
01:01:55,826 --> 01:01:58,204
No one else here
probably has any.
1172
01:01:58,370 --> 01:01:59,417
Are you sure you
don't want one?
1173
01:01:59,580 --> 01:02:00,581
Yeah.
1174
01:02:00,706 --> 01:02:01,878
No... Yes.
1175
01:02:01,957 --> 01:02:02,958
No.
1176
01:02:03,041 --> 01:02:05,214
Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
1177
01:02:10,716 --> 01:02:12,013
And there they are.
1178
01:02:12,175 --> 01:02:13,347
Finchy.
1179
01:02:14,386 --> 01:02:17,890
There you guys are. Look around.
Can you believe this shit?
1180
01:02:18,056 --> 01:02:19,854
Yeah, man. Nice work.
1181
01:02:20,017 --> 01:02:21,439
For you.
1182
01:02:21,518 --> 01:02:23,270
What the hell am I
supposed to do with this?
1183
01:02:23,437 --> 01:02:24,905
That's called wine, Stifler.
1184
01:02:25,063 --> 01:02:26,690
No, no, no, no,
not at my party.
1185
01:02:26,773 --> 01:02:28,070
I'm going to get us some shots.
1186
01:02:29,484 --> 01:02:30,531
Hey, Kev.
1187
01:02:30,611 --> 01:02:32,204
Can I talk to you
guys for a sec?
1188
01:02:32,529 --> 01:02:34,531
Yeah, sure. Wait here,
I'll be right back.
1189
01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:38,247
So, you brought the goods?
1190
01:02:38,452 --> 01:02:39,704
Right here.
1191
01:02:39,870 --> 01:02:41,417
I want to see.
1192
01:02:43,874 --> 01:02:46,878
What the...
Where did those fuckers go?
1193
01:02:47,210 --> 01:02:48,211
Hello, Steven.
1194
01:02:48,754 --> 01:02:50,552
- Mr. Levenstein.
- Yes.
1195
01:02:50,631 --> 01:02:51,723
You made it.
1196
01:02:51,882 --> 01:02:54,510
It is so great to see
all you kids back in town.
1197
01:02:54,593 --> 01:02:55,640
Hmm.
1198
01:02:55,719 --> 01:02:59,098
And what a terrific soiree
you're throwing here tonight.
1199
01:02:59,264 --> 01:03:01,107
Just wonderful!
1200
01:03:01,266 --> 01:03:04,941
You know what?
I'm going to get you fucked up.
1201
01:03:05,020 --> 01:03:06,317
- Hmm?
- Have a shot.
1202
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,073
Oh! No, no, no.
1203
01:03:08,231 --> 01:03:11,610
I don't think so, Steven.
I'm not much of a drinker.
1204
01:03:11,777 --> 01:03:13,745
- Drink it. Drink it! Drink it!
- No, I can't.
1205
01:03:13,904 --> 01:03:15,326
Drink it! Drink it!
1206
01:03:17,407 --> 01:03:18,499
Awesome! Let's do another one.
1207
01:03:18,575 --> 01:03:19,747
I don't think so.
1208
01:03:19,826 --> 01:03:22,170
Look, Kev, you don't know for
sure if anything happened.
1209
01:03:22,245 --> 01:03:25,590
I woke up next to her in bed,
and all our clothes were off.
1210
01:03:25,749 --> 01:03:28,423
I mean, whatever happened,
I feel guilty.
1211
01:03:28,585 --> 01:03:30,258
Kevin, in France,
1212
01:03:30,420 --> 01:03:34,095
it's only considered cheating if
your wife catches you in the act.
1213
01:03:37,469 --> 01:03:38,470
She's here.
1214
01:03:40,764 --> 01:03:42,186
I gotta go.
1215
01:03:42,474 --> 01:03:44,101
All right, get ready.
1216
01:03:44,267 --> 01:03:46,736
Wait for it. Wait for it!
1217
01:03:46,812 --> 01:03:47,859
Wait for it!
1218
01:03:47,938 --> 01:03:49,485
Here she comes!
1219
01:03:49,898 --> 01:03:50,945
Yeah!
1220
01:03:51,024 --> 01:03:52,776
Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
1221
01:03:52,943 --> 01:03:55,071
The name is Noah, motherfucker.
1222
01:03:58,281 --> 01:03:59,282
Mmm.
1223
01:03:59,449 --> 01:04:00,792
Feel the sofa.
1224
01:04:00,951 --> 01:04:03,625
It's so smooth.
1225
01:04:04,121 --> 01:04:06,965
It feels like a Smurf's ass.
1226
01:04:07,124 --> 01:04:08,467
Did you feel it?
1227
01:04:08,625 --> 01:04:11,674
Okay. Mia, can you...
1228
01:04:13,171 --> 01:04:15,139
Hey, guys. Sorry we're late.
1229
01:04:15,340 --> 01:04:16,341
Hi.
1230
01:04:17,384 --> 01:04:20,479
Hey, I got a treat for everybody.
I picked something up.
1231
01:04:20,637 --> 01:04:23,311
Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six.
My man, Chris Ostreicher.
1232
01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:24,391
Oh, my God.
1233
01:04:27,018 --> 01:04:29,020
We have to watch this.
1234
01:04:29,187 --> 01:04:31,861
Who wants to see my
baby shake his booty?
1235
01:04:33,483 --> 01:04:34,951
I know I do.
1236
01:04:35,110 --> 01:04:37,454
JDate? You have
to be kidding me.
1237
01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:40,866
If you want quality vag, you
have to go out into the wild.
1238
01:04:41,032 --> 01:04:42,284
"Vag"?
1239
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,003
What is that, a half a vagina?
1240
01:04:46,455 --> 01:04:49,334
You know, in my day
we called it a beaver.
1241
01:04:49,499 --> 01:04:53,345
And let me tell you something,
I snagged a pelt or two.
1242
01:04:53,503 --> 01:04:54,550
I bet you did.
1243
01:04:54,671 --> 01:04:55,672
Dad?
1244
01:04:55,756 --> 01:04:58,179
Hey, Jim, your dad is so
much cooler than you.
1245
01:04:58,258 --> 01:04:59,931
Stifler, please stop
getting my dad drunk.
1246
01:05:00,010 --> 01:05:02,354
No, he's just trying
to get me some vag.
1247
01:05:02,429 --> 01:05:03,430
Okay, come on.
1248
01:05:03,513 --> 01:05:05,186
Yeah! Hey, hey.
1249
01:05:05,348 --> 01:05:07,021
Let the man make
his own decisions.
1250
01:05:07,184 --> 01:05:08,231
Stop. Come on.
1251
01:05:08,310 --> 01:05:09,311
Don't listen to him.
1252
01:05:09,978 --> 01:05:12,322
I want you to dust off
that old dick of yours,
1253
01:05:12,481 --> 01:05:14,483
go out there, and get some ass.
1254
01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:15,821
Oh! Just go out there.
1255
01:05:15,901 --> 01:05:17,027
I think I Will.
1256
01:05:17,194 --> 01:05:19,993
- Dad, stop, okay?
- It's exactly what I'm gonna...
1257
01:05:20,071 --> 01:05:22,745
I'm sorry, but you have had a
little too much to drink tonight,
1258
01:05:22,866 --> 01:05:24,118
- No, no.
- and I'm not letting you...
1259
01:05:24,201 --> 01:05:27,580
No, son, I haven't
hardly had one drink.
1260
01:05:27,746 --> 01:05:30,044
And you know I love you.
1261
01:05:30,207 --> 01:05:34,428
I do love you, but you need to
1262
01:05:35,837 --> 01:05:36,838
chillax.
1263
01:05:37,422 --> 01:05:39,516
"Chillax"?
Dad, where are you going?
1264
01:05:39,591 --> 01:05:41,059
- Do you see him?
- Jim! Jim!
1265
01:05:41,218 --> 01:05:42,891
Let him go.
Let him have some fun.
1266
01:05:44,054 --> 01:05:47,729
And now we can have some fun.
1267
01:05:48,934 --> 01:05:49,935
Come on.
1268
01:05:51,728 --> 01:05:53,196
Excuse me.
1269
01:05:53,355 --> 01:05:55,232
I'm sorry, excuse me.
1270
01:05:55,398 --> 01:05:56,490
Is this a washroom?
1271
01:05:57,943 --> 01:05:59,991
It doesn't even occur to you
that you're self-centered
1272
01:06:00,070 --> 01:06:02,994
because you are so
self-centered and...
1273
01:06:03,073 --> 01:06:04,950
You know what?
Hold on a second.
1274
01:06:06,910 --> 01:06:08,036
Can I help you?
1275
01:06:09,579 --> 01:06:10,956
Who might you be?
1276
01:06:11,122 --> 01:06:12,749
I'm Stifler's mom.
1277
01:06:13,250 --> 01:06:14,251
Oh.
1278
01:06:14,793 --> 01:06:16,591
I'm Jim's dad.
1279
01:06:17,921 --> 01:06:19,423
Later, fucker.
1280
01:06:38,275 --> 01:06:41,404
Oh, my God, this is the most
ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
1281
01:06:48,869 --> 01:06:50,746
Dude, you have an amazing body!
1282
01:06:50,829 --> 01:06:55,300
Everybody, raise the roof
for Chris Ostreicher!
1283
01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:57,377
You have really been
bringing it all season long.
1284
01:06:57,460 --> 01:07:01,966
But now it's time, Chris, to see if
America thinks you done brought it.
1285
01:07:02,632 --> 01:07:04,054
- You ready?
- Let's do it.
1286
01:07:04,134 --> 01:07:05,135
Let's see the results.
1287
01:07:11,266 --> 01:07:13,985
What?
Gilbert Gottfried and not you?
1288
01:07:14,144 --> 01:07:15,270
Fucking bullshit!
1289
01:07:15,437 --> 01:07:17,565
Chris, I'm so sorry, man.
1290
01:07:17,731 --> 01:07:22,328
Well, we saw you jam.
Now, it's time to scram.
1291
01:07:23,278 --> 01:07:24,575
Do you have any last
thoughts for the audience?
1292
01:07:24,738 --> 01:07:27,241
Okay, guys, we can
probably end it there.
1293
01:07:27,407 --> 01:07:29,660
What? No, are you kidding?
I haven't seen this.
1294
01:07:29,826 --> 01:07:32,170
I think what I've
learned is to be true
1295
01:07:32,245 --> 01:07:33,337
to myself,
1296
01:07:33,496 --> 01:07:36,500
because that's what
dancing is, it's truth.
1297
01:07:36,666 --> 01:07:38,760
And maybe,
1298
01:07:39,002 --> 01:07:42,176
if we just danced
a little bit more,
1299
01:07:42,339 --> 01:07:45,718
there would be no more wars.
1300
01:07:47,594 --> 01:07:49,016
No more war!
1301
01:07:49,095 --> 01:07:51,393
Well, that is a thoughtful
take on foreign policy.
1302
01:07:52,891 --> 01:07:55,394
Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets
jiggy-friggy, right after this.
1303
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,857
You don't want to miss this.
Stick around.
1304
01:08:05,737 --> 01:08:06,909
Hey.
1305
01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:09,374
If you want my opinion,
I think you got cheated.
1306
01:08:11,451 --> 01:08:12,623
Are you okay?
1307
01:08:13,536 --> 01:08:15,209
You know, when...
1308
01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:18,960
when you lose something that's important
to you, it doesn't feel very good.
1309
01:08:19,584 --> 01:08:21,803
Oz, it's just a show.
1310
01:08:22,420 --> 01:08:24,969
I'm not talking about the show.
1311
01:08:32,180 --> 01:08:34,057
Hey, Heather,
you down there?
1312
01:08:34,683 --> 01:08:36,151
Um, coming!
1313
01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:38,562
Oh, my God.
1314
01:08:38,728 --> 01:08:40,025
Wait here, I'll be right back.
1315
01:08:41,690 --> 01:08:43,863
I can't tell you how many times
I walked into Steven's room
1316
01:08:44,025 --> 01:08:46,869
and I caught him in the
middle of sex with some girl.
1317
01:08:47,028 --> 01:08:49,827
At least he was with
a real, live human girl.
1318
01:08:49,990 --> 01:08:51,207
What are you talking about?
1319
01:08:51,282 --> 01:08:55,412
I walked into the kitchen once,
and I saw Jim humping a pie.
1320
01:08:57,497 --> 01:09:01,127
He turned the damn thing into a
crumble in about two seconds.
1321
01:09:05,839 --> 01:09:07,432
I can top that.
1322
01:09:07,590 --> 01:09:08,807
I once walked into my bedroom
1323
01:09:08,883 --> 01:09:12,262
and I caught Steven sticking
my hairbrush up his ass.
1324
01:09:16,016 --> 01:09:18,189
No, and it wasn't
the handle side, either.
1325
01:09:21,730 --> 01:09:22,731
Oh!
1326
01:09:24,107 --> 01:09:26,451
No, no, no.
1327
01:09:27,944 --> 01:09:32,370
A pretty lady like you shouldn't
be drinking quite so much.
1328
01:09:33,158 --> 01:09:34,501
And neither should I.
1329
01:09:41,124 --> 01:09:42,467
How about a joint, then?
1330
01:09:45,503 --> 01:09:49,633
We don't have to wait 13 years
to see each other again.
1331
01:09:49,799 --> 01:09:51,392
Yeah, true.
1332
01:09:51,551 --> 01:09:55,522
And I guess I could come along
on one of your adventures.
1333
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,559
Am I good sidekick material?
1334
01:09:58,641 --> 01:09:59,688
Sidekick?
1335
01:09:59,768 --> 01:10:04,740
I think you are a lot more
than sidekick material.
1336
01:10:10,487 --> 01:10:12,330
Is everything okay?
1337
01:10:14,991 --> 01:10:16,993
It's better than ever.
1338
01:10:19,829 --> 01:10:20,876
Mmm. Mmm.
1339
01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:22,298
Okay, wait, wait.
1340
01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:26,303
I don't think we're dressed
appropriately for the occasion.
1341
01:10:26,461 --> 01:10:28,008
Put that on.
1342
01:10:28,171 --> 01:10:29,514
Wait, where are you going?
1343
01:10:29,589 --> 01:10:32,513
To change. Be back soon.
1344
01:10:43,019 --> 01:10:44,236
Dudes!
1345
01:10:46,022 --> 01:10:47,615
What's up, bro?
1346
01:10:48,566 --> 01:10:50,534
Big Stiffy?
1347
01:10:50,693 --> 01:10:52,787
Blowjob Lipstein.
1348
01:10:55,740 --> 01:10:58,539
Oh, you have to be
fucking kidding me!
1349
01:10:58,743 --> 01:10:59,869
Excuse me?
1350
01:11:06,584 --> 01:11:07,631
Okay.
1351
01:11:08,253 --> 01:11:11,427
What the hell are you doing?
You just expect me to blow you?
1352
01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:12,553
Yeah!
1353
01:11:12,715 --> 01:11:14,092
I'm out of here.
1354
01:11:14,259 --> 01:11:15,761
Wait. Wait, Wait!
1355
01:11:15,927 --> 01:11:17,395
Look, I get it.
1356
01:11:17,554 --> 01:11:19,227
You're self-conscious
about your body.
1357
01:11:19,931 --> 01:11:22,775
Don't worry. I was going to
shut the lights off anyway.
1358
01:11:22,934 --> 01:11:25,562
You are the same douchebag
that you were in high school.
1359
01:11:26,062 --> 01:11:29,783
You just expect me to do
everything while I get nothing?
1360
01:11:29,941 --> 01:11:30,942
Later.
1361
01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,242
No, no!
1362
01:11:36,406 --> 01:11:38,283
Let's make a deal.
1363
01:11:39,576 --> 01:11:42,955
I'll get you off,
you get me off.
1364
01:11:43,121 --> 01:11:44,998
What do you say?
1365
01:11:45,331 --> 01:11:46,583
Fine.
1366
01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:49,093
But I am putting you to work.
1367
01:11:49,460 --> 01:11:50,837
Holy shit.
1368
01:11:52,005 --> 01:11:53,757
Chow time!
1369
01:11:57,377 --> 01:11:59,054
There you are!
1370
01:11:59,137 --> 01:12:01,936
I've been looking
all over for you.
1371
01:12:02,098 --> 01:12:04,692
Listen, we really need to...
1372
01:12:06,436 --> 01:12:07,938
What are you doing?
1373
01:12:08,104 --> 01:12:09,526
Taking what's mine.
1374
01:12:12,108 --> 01:12:14,782
No, I just wanted to hear
the sound of your voice.
1375
01:12:15,069 --> 01:12:17,618
Aw, is everything okay?
You seem stressed.
1376
01:12:18,031 --> 01:12:19,658
Stressed?
1377
01:12:21,492 --> 01:12:23,290
There you are!
1378
01:12:24,787 --> 01:12:26,835
No, no, no.
1379
01:12:26,998 --> 01:12:30,719
I have to go right now, but I'll
call you back in a little bit.
1380
01:12:30,877 --> 01:12:34,131
Okay. And don't worry, I won't
watch Gossip Girl without you.
1381
01:12:34,255 --> 01:12:35,222
I miss you, babe.
1382
01:12:35,298 --> 01:12:36,720
I miss you, too.
1383
01:12:40,136 --> 01:12:43,640
Listen, Vicky,
about last night,
1384
01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:45,812
that wasn't me.
1385
01:12:45,975 --> 01:12:48,069
With what happened...
1386
01:12:48,728 --> 01:12:51,322
I don't know.
It might be normal in your world.
1387
01:12:51,481 --> 01:12:53,233
What do you think happened?
1388
01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:56,035
Well, all our clothes
were on the floor.
1389
01:12:56,194 --> 01:12:57,491
Yeah, because
they were soaking wet
1390
01:12:57,570 --> 01:12:59,243
from when you got drunk
and fell in the lake.
1391
01:12:59,405 --> 01:13:00,907
I took care of you.
1392
01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,918
So, we didn't have sex?
1393
01:13:04,077 --> 01:13:05,203
Of course not.
1394
01:13:05,870 --> 01:13:07,838
Oh, thank God!
1395
01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,094
I'm glad you think
so highly of me.
1396
01:13:14,128 --> 01:13:15,175
No.
1397
01:13:15,672 --> 01:13:17,265
Vicky, wait.
1398
01:13:18,258 --> 01:13:21,053
Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God!
1399
01:13:21,511 --> 01:13:23,013
Mia, stop.
1400
01:13:24,681 --> 01:13:26,024
Oh, my God, yeah!
1401
01:13:26,182 --> 01:13:27,399
Mia, get off!
1402
01:13:27,475 --> 01:13:29,352
I'm about to! I'm about to!
1403
01:13:31,604 --> 01:13:32,696
Heather.
1404
01:13:35,024 --> 01:13:36,071
What the hell?
1405
01:13:37,193 --> 01:13:38,866
You have something going on
with this skank?
1406
01:13:40,363 --> 01:13:43,037
Who are you calling a
skank, you fucking bitch?
1407
01:13:45,743 --> 01:13:46,915
Stop it! Stop!
1408
01:13:47,078 --> 01:13:48,079
Stop it!
1409
01:13:49,706 --> 01:13:51,458
OW! What the fuck?
1410
01:13:51,624 --> 01:13:53,797
That's my extension, you bitch!
1411
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:55,587
You motherfucker!
1412
01:13:55,753 --> 01:13:58,006
No, Mia! Wait a minute!
1413
01:13:59,257 --> 01:14:02,227
By the way,
I fucked Mario Lopez!
1414
01:14:06,723 --> 01:14:07,724
Ooh...
1415
01:14:10,643 --> 01:14:13,237
Okay, it's my turn now.
1416
01:14:13,396 --> 01:14:15,899
Uh-uh. Not this time.
1417
01:14:16,065 --> 01:14:17,863
Wait, what about our deal?
1418
01:14:18,026 --> 01:14:21,621
Now you know how it
feels, Big Stiffy.
1419
01:14:28,786 --> 01:14:30,129
Gross!
1420
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:37,661
Fucking yuck!
1421
01:14:54,181 --> 01:14:57,435
You didn't actually think I'd
fall asleep again, did you?
1422
01:14:57,601 --> 01:14:59,444
As long as you're mine,
I'm happy.
1423
01:14:59,603 --> 01:15:01,321
Jesus, Kara.
What are you doing here?
1424
01:15:01,480 --> 01:15:03,653
Your creepy friend invited
me and all my girlfriends.
1425
01:15:03,815 --> 01:15:06,193
Nice outfit, by the way.
Very kinky.
1426
01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:08,116
Oh, shit.
1427
01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:10,539
Don't worry. I locked it.
1428
01:15:13,116 --> 01:15:14,413
Oh, Jesus.
1429
01:15:18,038 --> 01:15:21,087
What the hell kind of freaky
shit is going on in here?
1430
01:15:21,149 --> 01:15:22,301
AJ, what are you doing here?
1431
01:15:22,367 --> 01:15:24,544
I followed you.
I had to see it with my own eyes.
1432
01:15:24,711 --> 01:15:28,341
First you fuck with my jet ski,
then you fuck my girlfriend?
1433
01:15:28,507 --> 01:15:30,760
No! God, no! Nothing happened.
1434
01:15:30,926 --> 01:15:32,018
You're going down, Sandler.
1435
01:15:32,135 --> 01:15:33,603
Sandler? What the...
1436
01:15:33,762 --> 01:15:35,230
Jesus Christ!
1437
01:15:37,307 --> 01:15:38,650
I'm going to kill you!
1438
01:15:40,477 --> 01:15:42,650
Jim, what the fuck
are you wearing?
1439
01:15:42,813 --> 01:15:45,236
Hey, I can explain
everything! Jesus!
1440
01:15:46,024 --> 01:15:47,071
- Come on!
- Shit!
1441
01:15:47,192 --> 01:15:48,739
Get up, gimp!
1442
01:15:48,902 --> 01:15:50,904
Come on, I'm not
fighting you, okay?
1443
01:15:51,029 --> 01:15:52,576
This is silly. I'm an adult.
1444
01:15:52,739 --> 01:15:53,786
Oh, really?
1445
01:15:53,907 --> 01:15:55,875
Because to me you look
like a little bitch pussy.
1446
01:15:57,035 --> 01:15:58,787
Don't be a pussy, Jim.
1447
01:15:58,954 --> 01:16:01,548
Look, AJ, just calm down, okay?
1448
01:16:01,706 --> 01:16:04,801
What makes you little fuckers think you can
crash one of the Stifmeister's parties?
1449
01:16:05,502 --> 01:16:08,346
Did you just refer to yourself
as "the Stifmeister"?
1450
01:16:08,505 --> 01:16:11,634
Because that's the
lamest name ever!
1451
01:16:14,219 --> 01:16:16,347
I'm going to fucking kill you.
1452
01:16:16,513 --> 01:16:17,480
Bring it on.
1453
01:16:17,556 --> 01:16:19,058
Hey, Steve, come on, this is...
1454
01:16:24,396 --> 01:16:26,148
Where do you think
you're going?
1455
01:16:31,069 --> 01:16:33,788
Don't mess with
the Class of '99, bitch!
1456
01:16:34,990 --> 01:16:36,162
Finch!
1457
01:16:36,825 --> 01:16:37,997
Don't hurt my friend!
1458
01:16:52,924 --> 01:16:53,925
Hey!
1459
01:16:54,217 --> 01:16:57,266
Get off my husband,
you little piece of shit!
1460
01:17:09,191 --> 01:17:12,195
Oh, crap! It's the fuzz!
1461
01:17:12,944 --> 01:17:15,163
We have to get out.
How do you get out?
1462
01:17:15,363 --> 01:17:16,580
I need an escape route!
1463
01:17:16,740 --> 01:17:18,333
Oh, shit!
1464
01:17:18,450 --> 01:17:19,497
You want to be with him?
1465
01:17:19,576 --> 01:17:22,204
Fine! He's all yours.
1466
01:17:22,370 --> 01:17:23,792
Come on, man!
1467
01:17:25,790 --> 01:17:28,168
Jim, what's going on?
1468
01:17:28,335 --> 01:17:30,383
I am so sorry for all
of this. I can explain.
1469
01:17:31,087 --> 01:17:33,385
Last night I ran into
Kara, our neighbor.
1470
01:17:33,590 --> 01:17:36,639
She was too drunk to drive,
so I drove her home.
1471
01:17:36,801 --> 01:17:41,602
And she started taking off her
clothes, and touching my...
1472
01:17:41,932 --> 01:17:45,357
Okay, I know it doesn't sound
good, but nothing happened, okay?
1473
01:17:45,518 --> 01:17:47,612
I don't care about her at all!
1474
01:17:47,771 --> 01:17:50,320
Thanks a lot.
1475
01:17:50,732 --> 01:17:53,235
No, no, Kara, wait.
I didn't mean...
1476
01:17:53,401 --> 01:17:55,119
Wait, Michelle.
Hold on, hold on.
1477
01:17:55,278 --> 01:17:56,700
It's not what you think, okay?
1478
01:17:56,863 --> 01:18:01,369
I swear, I was just trying to
do the right thing, and I...
1479
01:18:01,551 --> 01:18:04,079
You have to believe
me, Michelle, please.
1480
01:18:04,996 --> 01:18:08,125
Whether I believe you or not,
1481
01:18:08,333 --> 01:18:09,710
I'm disappointed.
1482
01:18:10,126 --> 01:18:12,595
I'm going to stay
with my grandmother.
1483
01:18:12,754 --> 01:18:13,755
Hold it, Michelle.
1484
01:18:13,838 --> 01:18:14,839
No, Jim.
1485
01:18:15,465 --> 01:18:17,012
Hey, the fight's over, guys.
1486
01:18:17,175 --> 01:18:18,597
We're not here to stop a fight.
1487
01:18:18,843 --> 01:18:21,187
We're here about
that stolen motorcycle.
1488
01:18:21,346 --> 01:18:23,019
Looks like the VIN
numbers match up.
1489
01:18:23,181 --> 01:18:24,433
Paul Finch.
1490
01:18:24,599 --> 01:18:26,351
You're under arrest.
1491
01:18:27,686 --> 01:18:28,938
Awesome!
1492
01:18:29,271 --> 01:18:30,443
Excuse me, officer.
1493
01:18:30,522 --> 01:18:32,798
He won that bike betting on
the World Cup in Argentina.
1494
01:18:32,799 --> 01:18:35,073
You made some sort of mistake.
1495
01:18:35,151 --> 01:18:37,119
- Paul, what's going on?
- What is this about?
1496
01:18:37,404 --> 01:18:38,576
Paul.
1497
01:18:38,738 --> 01:18:40,035
Finch, just tell them.
1498
01:18:40,198 --> 01:18:41,370
Paul!
1499
01:18:42,617 --> 01:18:46,121
Hey, shitbreak, when you're
getting rammed by your cellmate tonight,
1500
01:18:46,288 --> 01:18:47,414
think of Kevin.
1501
01:18:51,459 --> 01:18:53,461
Michelle, can I just... Please!
1502
01:18:57,382 --> 01:18:58,429
Oh!
1503
01:18:59,175 --> 01:19:00,222
Ah!
1504
01:19:01,094 --> 01:19:02,346
- Dad?
- Ah!
1505
01:19:06,891 --> 01:19:07,892
Dad?
1506
01:19:08,810 --> 01:19:10,232
Dad, what are you doing?
1507
01:19:10,395 --> 01:19:13,148
You didn't see me!
I'm not here!
1508
01:19:13,315 --> 01:19:14,487
I'm not here!
1509
01:19:16,067 --> 01:19:17,239
Is he all right?
1510
01:19:17,902 --> 01:19:19,575
I don't know.
1511
01:19:20,071 --> 01:19:21,573
What are we going
to do about Finch?
1512
01:19:21,740 --> 01:19:23,993
Fuck Finch. Let him
spend the night in jail.
1513
01:19:24,159 --> 01:19:25,376
Come on, Stifler!
1514
01:19:25,452 --> 01:19:26,669
Some friend you are.
1515
01:19:28,997 --> 01:19:30,465
What about you guys?
1516
01:19:30,665 --> 01:19:33,714
You don't call me,
you don't e-mail,
1517
01:19:33,793 --> 01:19:35,921
you don't comment
on my Facebook page.
1518
01:19:36,004 --> 01:19:38,302
You guys didn't even let me know you
were coming back for the reunion.
1519
01:19:38,465 --> 01:19:41,765
Because we knew, somehow, you would
find a way to screw things up.
1520
01:19:42,260 --> 01:19:43,933
Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.
1521
01:19:44,095 --> 01:19:45,688
I wanted us to have
a fucking fun time
1522
01:19:45,764 --> 01:19:47,266
this weekend,
like we did in high school.
1523
01:19:47,432 --> 01:19:49,434
But we're not in
high school any more.
1524
01:19:49,601 --> 01:19:51,103
You are so trapped
in the past, Stifler.
1525
01:19:51,269 --> 01:19:54,318
When are you going to realize that things
will never be the way they used to be?
1526
01:20:01,446 --> 01:20:02,663
Fine.
1527
01:20:03,865 --> 01:20:05,663
Guess the party's over.
1528
01:20:07,952 --> 01:20:09,204
Dicks.
1529
01:20:41,736 --> 01:20:44,034
Well, that was a great party.
1530
01:20:44,489 --> 01:20:46,867
I honestly think I had fun.
1531
01:20:48,827 --> 01:20:51,546
Well, that makes one of us.
1532
01:20:53,873 --> 01:20:55,216
Have you heard from Michelle?
1533
01:20:55,375 --> 01:20:58,629
No. She doesn't
want to talk to me.
1534
01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:00,718
What about the reunion tonight?
1535
01:21:00,797 --> 01:21:02,925
She said she may
or may not come.
1536
01:21:03,091 --> 01:21:04,889
What's going on with you two?
1537
01:21:05,051 --> 01:21:06,598
Jim, is there anything
you want to talk about?
1538
01:21:10,640 --> 01:21:11,812
Okay.
1539
01:21:12,559 --> 01:21:13,685
Um...
1540
01:21:14,894 --> 01:21:17,488
How often
1541
01:21:17,647 --> 01:21:20,992
did you and Mom...
1542
01:21:24,154 --> 01:21:25,451
You know?
1543
01:21:25,530 --> 01:21:27,624
Is that what this is about?
1544
01:21:27,699 --> 01:21:29,542
You and Michelle
haven't been...
1545
01:21:29,701 --> 01:21:31,544
Not lately, no.
1546
01:21:31,619 --> 01:21:32,666
Oh...
1547
01:21:35,206 --> 01:21:37,049
Is it
1548
01:21:37,208 --> 01:21:38,710
an erectile problem?
1549
01:21:39,544 --> 01:21:43,890
Because sometimes you
can buy a little time
1550
01:21:44,048 --> 01:21:45,345
with a well-placed thumb.
1551
01:21:45,425 --> 01:21:47,302
Oh, God. I'm just saying.
1552
01:21:47,385 --> 01:21:49,262
- I don't think that's it.
- That's not it?
1553
01:21:49,554 --> 01:21:54,355
Oh! That's something to keep in your
back pocket, because that's a no-fail.
1554
01:21:54,517 --> 01:21:56,190
Okay, let's be done with that.
1555
01:21:56,352 --> 01:21:59,777
No, things in that
department were fine.
1556
01:22:00,982 --> 01:22:03,076
And then Evan was born
1557
01:22:03,276 --> 01:22:06,155
and we kind of stopped.
1558
01:22:06,404 --> 01:22:10,250
And they haven't really
picked up since, you know?
1559
01:22:11,034 --> 01:22:14,288
This is not a problem,
so do not worry.
1560
01:22:14,412 --> 01:22:16,255
- You understand?
- Yeah, listen, Jim.
1561
01:22:16,414 --> 01:22:17,882
Before you were born,
1562
01:22:17,957 --> 01:22:20,927
your mother and I,
we would do it every day.
1563
01:22:21,002 --> 01:22:22,003
I don't need this.
1564
01:22:22,086 --> 01:22:24,430
Sometimes two or
three times a day.
1565
01:22:24,506 --> 01:22:28,101
This is back in the '70s.
A lot of experimentation was going on.
1566
01:22:28,301 --> 01:22:33,023
Your mother favored something she
called, "diving for dollars."
1567
01:22:33,264 --> 01:22:36,143
Holy shit. I'm sorry,
I don't need...
1568
01:22:36,826 --> 01:22:38,604
That's fine, we can...
1569
01:22:38,770 --> 01:22:40,022
I don't have to
go on with that.
1570
01:22:40,104 --> 01:22:45,577
But my point is, when you have a
kid, you become a dad and a mom.
1571
01:22:45,944 --> 01:22:50,165
But it's very important not to
stop being a husband and a wife.
1572
01:22:50,740 --> 01:22:54,290
And if you do that,
the sex will come.
1573
01:22:56,371 --> 01:22:57,839
That actually
makes a lot of sense.
1574
01:22:57,997 --> 01:23:01,376
But you can't just wait for
the two of you to be alone.
1575
01:23:01,543 --> 01:23:05,013
You have to make
your own alone time.
1576
01:23:05,213 --> 01:23:08,888
Why do you think you went to
Hebrew school three times a week?
1577
01:23:09,050 --> 01:23:13,055
Sundays, noon to three?
Tuesdays, four to seven?
1578
01:23:13,179 --> 01:23:14,476
Okay, I get it, Dad.
1579
01:23:14,556 --> 01:23:16,775
If you get it,
then why the questions?
1580
01:23:16,933 --> 01:23:18,025
I'm sorry.
1581
01:23:18,101 --> 01:23:20,195
You're going through this, I am sorry.
I should be listening.
1582
01:23:20,353 --> 01:23:23,357
No, I'm overreacting.
I'm sorry.
1583
01:23:27,193 --> 01:23:28,911
Thank you.
1584
01:23:29,445 --> 01:23:31,368
Again. Really.
1585
01:23:34,784 --> 01:23:36,036
Anytime.
1586
01:23:40,873 --> 01:23:42,466
Welcome, you guys.
1587
01:23:42,542 --> 01:23:46,092
Listen, find your nametag, find
out what table you're sitting at.
1588
01:23:46,170 --> 01:23:48,423
Ashley, so good to see you!
Oh, my God.
1589
01:23:48,590 --> 01:23:51,639
Billy! Oh, my God,
you're looking so svelte.
1590
01:23:51,801 --> 01:23:54,930
You used to be morbidly obese.
I was concerned.
1591
01:23:55,013 --> 01:23:56,105
Hey.
1592
01:23:56,180 --> 01:23:57,272
Hey, guys.
1593
01:23:57,348 --> 01:23:59,021
- Hey, Jim.
- Oz.
1594
01:23:59,309 --> 01:24:00,481
Where is Mia?
1595
01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:02,688
She flew out this morning.
1596
01:24:02,854 --> 01:24:05,198
Oh. I'm sorry, man.
1597
01:24:06,024 --> 01:24:07,071
What about Michelle?
1598
01:24:08,318 --> 01:24:10,195
I am not sure yet.
1599
01:24:10,903 --> 01:24:12,200
Finch!
1600
01:24:12,405 --> 01:24:15,750
What happened? I called the police
department a thousand times.
1601
01:24:15,825 --> 01:24:20,706
I appreciate that, Kevin.
But my mom, actually, bailed me out.
1602
01:24:22,457 --> 01:24:23,959
Guys, I screwed up.
1603
01:24:24,125 --> 01:24:26,219
That bike belongs to my boss.
1604
01:24:26,377 --> 01:24:30,723
And I was promised a raise,
and I didn't get it, so I
1605
01:24:30,840 --> 01:24:32,092
simply borrowed it.
1606
01:24:32,884 --> 01:24:35,387
The truth is that my life
isn't interesting at all.
1607
01:24:35,887 --> 01:24:39,892
I am an assistant manager at a
Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey.
1608
01:24:40,141 --> 01:24:43,361
I lied to my best friends,
and I'm sorry.
1609
01:24:44,771 --> 01:24:47,866
You know, Finch,
just because you sold out
1610
01:24:47,940 --> 01:24:50,944
and got a boring job
like most of us,
1611
01:24:51,027 --> 01:24:52,654
that doesn't mean you
should be embarrassed.
1612
01:24:52,737 --> 01:24:55,331
Yeah, come on, man.
None of that shit matters.
1613
01:24:56,407 --> 01:24:57,659
That means a lot, gentlemen.
1614
01:24:57,825 --> 01:24:59,202
What about your arm?
1615
01:24:59,285 --> 01:25:00,286
Oh.
1616
01:25:01,913 --> 01:25:04,666
I spilled coffee on myself
while I was driving.
1617
01:25:04,832 --> 01:25:06,004
No.
1618
01:25:06,751 --> 01:25:08,424
It hurt like a bitch, though.
1619
01:25:08,544 --> 01:25:11,388
- I'll bet.
- Jesus, Finch.
1620
01:25:11,756 --> 01:25:14,179
Oh, hey, check this
out, you guys.
1621
01:25:15,510 --> 01:25:17,604
Crazy, huh? Look at us.
1622
01:25:17,762 --> 01:25:18,934
A lot of memories.
1623
01:25:20,932 --> 01:25:22,559
"Steve Stifler."
1624
01:25:23,518 --> 01:25:26,442
"Hopes to keep the party
going with his boys."
1625
01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:32,152
Any sign of him yet?
1626
01:25:32,318 --> 01:25:34,036
I don't think
he's going to show.
1627
01:25:49,585 --> 01:25:50,802
Stifler?
1628
01:25:54,882 --> 01:25:55,974
How'd you find me?
1629
01:25:56,134 --> 01:25:57,477
We asked your mom.
1630
01:25:58,302 --> 01:26:00,805
Oh, no. I didn't do anything.
1631
01:26:02,140 --> 01:26:06,896
We wanted to apologize
for what we said last night. We...
1632
01:26:07,478 --> 01:26:08,479
We didn't mean it.
1633
01:26:09,897 --> 01:26:13,822
Yeah, you did.
I get it, you guys think I'm a dick.
1634
01:26:18,489 --> 01:26:20,787
Okay. Well,
1635
01:26:21,659 --> 01:26:24,082
maybe you are kind of a dick.
1636
01:26:24,996 --> 01:26:26,088
But,
1637
01:26:27,081 --> 01:26:28,833
you're a fun dick.
1638
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,049
And you're our dick.
1639
01:26:32,670 --> 01:26:37,517
Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest
reasons that high school was awesome.
1640
01:26:37,675 --> 01:26:40,349
Yeah, high school was awesome.
1641
01:26:40,511 --> 01:26:43,310
Then we graduated and everybody
started getting jobs
1642
01:26:43,473 --> 01:26:45,692
and getting married
and having kids
1643
01:26:45,767 --> 01:26:48,145
and all that other stupid shit.
1644
01:26:48,311 --> 01:26:51,986
Now, look at me.
I'm the bitch of this place.
1645
01:26:52,190 --> 01:26:54,158
Look, Stifler, none of
our lives are perfect.
1646
01:26:54,317 --> 01:26:55,534
Especially mine.
1647
01:26:56,486 --> 01:27:00,866
But what do you say we keep this party
going, and hit up this reunion together?
1648
01:27:02,700 --> 01:27:04,668
What the hell is going on here?
1649
01:27:05,411 --> 01:27:08,915
Oh, my God.
This is the jackass.
1650
01:27:09,332 --> 01:27:11,801
You're not even close to being
finished and you're up here
1651
01:27:11,876 --> 01:27:14,004
"chilling with your posse"?
1652
01:27:14,128 --> 01:27:15,345
Sorry, we can explain.
1653
01:27:15,505 --> 01:27:16,802
No, Kevin.
1654
01:27:18,216 --> 01:27:19,308
Allow me.
1655
01:27:19,383 --> 01:27:22,011
Yeah, Kevin, allow him.
1656
01:27:22,094 --> 01:27:23,311
This better be good, Stafler.
1657
01:27:23,888 --> 01:27:25,890
It's Stifler, fucker.
1658
01:27:26,224 --> 01:27:30,229
Oh, wow.
Who the hell do you think you are?
1659
01:27:30,394 --> 01:27:33,898
Are you acting tough in front
of your girlfriend? Huh?
1660
01:27:33,981 --> 01:27:35,983
Because we both know she's
only with you for your money.
1661
01:27:36,818 --> 01:27:38,161
Definitely not for your dick.
1662
01:27:38,319 --> 01:27:40,162
Because anybody that's
peed next to you
1663
01:27:40,238 --> 01:27:42,081
knows it's the size of
a leprechaun's pinkie.
1664
01:27:44,108 --> 01:27:46,110
That's not true.
1665
01:27:46,193 --> 01:27:49,538
"That's not
true." Oh, yeah, it is.
1666
01:27:50,625 --> 01:27:54,380
Look, just because you got a fancy
office and I don't even have a desk
1667
01:27:54,545 --> 01:27:56,843
doesn't change
who we really are.
1668
01:27:57,006 --> 01:28:00,556
The truth is,
you're still a dork,
1669
01:28:00,718 --> 01:28:02,641
and I can still kick your ass.
1670
01:28:03,554 --> 01:28:05,227
But I'm not going to.
1671
01:28:05,389 --> 01:28:06,891
You know why?
1672
01:28:07,058 --> 01:28:09,026
Because I'm the
fucking Stifmeister.
1673
01:28:09,227 --> 01:28:14,081
And if you even look at me again.
I will shit in your briefcase
1674
01:28:14,502 --> 01:28:15,686
Dudes?
1675
01:28:22,147 --> 01:28:25,822
By the way, I had no clue what I
was doing with any of this shit,
1676
01:28:25,984 --> 01:28:28,328
so you got a lot of work to do.
1677
01:29:03,021 --> 01:29:04,694
- Surprise!
- Hey! You made it.
1678
01:29:04,856 --> 01:29:06,108
Of course.
1679
01:29:06,274 --> 01:29:07,401
What do you think about
the Lions this year?
1680
01:29:07,402 --> 01:29:08,527
They got a shot?
1681
01:29:08,693 --> 01:29:11,071
We'll see if their
offensive line can hold.
1682
01:29:11,238 --> 01:29:13,866
Are you planning on being on
Celebrity Dance Off: All Stars?
1683
01:29:14,032 --> 01:29:15,955
I actually haven't
thought much about that.
1684
01:29:16,118 --> 01:29:18,166
You should think about it.
1685
01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:26,136
I'm sorry, guys,
you'll have to excuse me.
1686
01:29:30,715 --> 01:29:32,058
Can I cut in?
1687
01:29:32,634 --> 01:29:35,228
I don't know.
Can you promise to keep your shirt on?
1688
01:29:36,096 --> 01:29:38,895
Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls.
Huh?
1689
01:29:38,974 --> 01:29:41,068
Yeah, of course.
1690
01:29:41,393 --> 01:29:42,736
I'll get us some drinks.
1691
01:29:42,811 --> 01:29:43,937
Okay.
1692
01:29:45,730 --> 01:29:48,279
Hey.
1693
01:29:49,317 --> 01:29:51,615
Shouldn't you be dancing
with your girlfriend?
1694
01:29:51,778 --> 01:29:52,779
Uh...
1695
01:29:53,905 --> 01:29:57,079
Mia and I are over.
1696
01:29:58,577 --> 01:30:03,253
She wanted me
to be someone else.
1697
01:30:03,790 --> 01:30:07,465
Something that I
don't want to be.
1698
01:30:08,587 --> 01:30:10,760
What do you want, Chris?
1699
01:30:11,256 --> 01:30:13,600
Heather, I want this.
1700
01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:15,306
I want us.
1701
01:30:16,761 --> 01:30:20,265
What about your career? LA?
1702
01:30:20,432 --> 01:30:23,732
Look, I know that it's crazy.
1703
01:30:23,894 --> 01:30:28,650
And I don't have all the answers
right now, but I see you,
1704
01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:31,493
and I just know
1705
01:30:32,736 --> 01:30:33,908
I want you.
1706
01:30:35,447 --> 01:30:36,573
I love you.
1707
01:30:37,782 --> 01:30:39,159
I love you.
1708
01:30:46,124 --> 01:30:47,216
So, I'm skiing down a mountain.
1709
01:30:47,292 --> 01:30:48,635
Guy has a heart
attack right there.
1710
01:30:48,793 --> 01:30:51,672
Saved his life.
It was a big story, you can Google it.
1711
01:30:51,838 --> 01:30:52,964
Yeah, it was.
1712
01:30:53,131 --> 01:30:54,474
I bet.
1713
01:30:55,467 --> 01:30:57,640
Holy shit! Excuse me.
1714
01:30:57,802 --> 01:31:00,225
Hey, excuse me.
What the hell is going on?
1715
01:31:00,639 --> 01:31:01,765
Ron, I can explain.
1716
01:31:01,848 --> 01:31:03,225
Seriously, this guy?
1717
01:31:03,391 --> 01:31:05,644
I'm a fucking heart surgeon,
this guy's not even on ESPN.
1718
01:31:05,810 --> 01:31:07,608
Hey, take it easy, Ron.
1719
01:31:07,771 --> 01:31:10,115
What are you going to do?
Hit me, Oz? Huh?
1720
01:31:10,273 --> 01:31:13,197
Oh, I got an idea.
What about a dance-off? Huh?
1721
01:31:14,152 --> 01:31:16,996
This isn't a reality show, okay?
This is the real world.
1722
01:31:17,155 --> 01:31:20,500
You take one swing at me, I will
sue you for all you're worth.
1723
01:31:24,955 --> 01:31:27,424
I'm not worth jack shit, Dron.
1724
01:31:30,001 --> 01:31:31,218
I'm your dick.
1725
01:31:34,214 --> 01:31:35,261
Dropped him!
1726
01:31:35,340 --> 01:31:36,341
That was awesome!
1727
01:31:36,508 --> 01:31:38,681
Listen, we had a blast
the other night.
1728
01:31:39,844 --> 01:31:42,313
Have you ever thought about
being a party planner?
1729
01:31:42,847 --> 01:31:45,270
Because we want you
to plan our wedding.
1730
01:31:45,350 --> 01:31:46,897
Say yes.
1731
01:31:47,894 --> 01:31:49,862
Yeah, yeah! I'd love to.
1732
01:31:49,938 --> 01:31:51,736
Nice! Oh, my God.
1733
01:31:51,898 --> 01:31:53,616
Thanks! This is great, man.
1734
01:31:53,775 --> 01:31:56,403
Thank you so much.
Thank you, bro.
1735
01:31:56,569 --> 01:31:58,037
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
1736
01:32:03,827 --> 01:32:04,919
I have to tell you something.
1737
01:32:04,995 --> 01:32:06,121
You don't have to explain.
1738
01:32:06,705 --> 01:32:11,051
Look, Paul, I didn't like you
because you climbed the Alps,
1739
01:32:11,209 --> 01:32:13,211
or killed a camel
with your bare hands.
1740
01:32:13,545 --> 01:32:16,048
I liked you because you were
still the same good guy
1741
01:32:16,131 --> 01:32:18,384
that was actually nice
to me in high school.
1742
01:32:19,009 --> 01:32:20,261
I'm still that guy.
1743
01:32:20,677 --> 01:32:22,395
I really am.
1744
01:32:23,138 --> 01:32:25,857
You know, the last time I
was here was for prom.
1745
01:32:27,100 --> 01:32:28,397
I didn't have a date.
1746
01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:29,728
Neither did I.
1747
01:32:32,397 --> 01:32:33,523
I have to get a drink.
1748
01:32:33,648 --> 01:32:35,150
What?
1749
01:32:35,317 --> 01:32:36,364
Was my dancing that bad?
1750
01:32:36,443 --> 01:32:37,490
Yeah.
1751
01:32:37,902 --> 01:32:39,575
Kev! Hey!
1752
01:32:39,654 --> 01:32:40,655
Hey, Jess!
1753
01:32:40,739 --> 01:32:42,537
Wow. Look, you have a beard!
It looks great.
1754
01:32:42,615 --> 01:32:44,583
- Thanks.
- I'm kidding.
1755
01:32:44,701 --> 01:32:47,079
Let's just get this out of the way.
1756
01:32:47,245 --> 01:32:48,872
I'm a lesbian now, and
1757
01:32:48,873 --> 01:32:50,499
this is my girlfriend.
This is Ingrid.
1758
01:32:50,665 --> 01:32:52,383
- Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
1759
01:32:52,542 --> 01:32:55,216
Lesbians? I knew it!
1760
01:32:55,295 --> 01:32:57,093
Why don't you guys
make out and prove it.
1761
01:32:57,255 --> 01:33:00,350
You must be Stifler.
I've heard a lot about you. Ow!
1762
01:33:00,425 --> 01:33:01,893
Mostly negative.
1763
01:33:02,093 --> 01:33:04,187
Cool, dude. What the fuck?
1764
01:33:04,262 --> 01:33:06,105
Jessica, it's good to see you.
1765
01:33:06,222 --> 01:33:07,348
No, it wasn't.
1766
01:33:07,432 --> 01:33:08,558
What the...
1767
01:33:09,017 --> 01:33:11,770
Look, Kev, I think you
should go talk to Vicky.
1768
01:33:12,020 --> 01:33:14,114
She's really upset over there.
1769
01:33:14,939 --> 01:33:17,033
Yeah, thanks.
1770
01:33:17,108 --> 01:33:18,485
Nice to meet you.
1771
01:33:18,568 --> 01:33:20,787
Be a real man,
you have a beard now.
1772
01:33:24,741 --> 01:33:26,709
Kevin, don't. I'm fine.
1773
01:33:26,868 --> 01:33:30,463
Come on.
I was a complete jerk last night.
1774
01:33:30,622 --> 01:33:33,501
I was just upset that you would
think that I would do that
1775
01:33:33,666 --> 01:33:35,293
knowing that you're married.
1776
01:33:35,835 --> 01:33:37,508
I know you wouldn't.
1777
01:33:37,670 --> 01:33:41,265
Honestly, that was more
about me being nervous.
1778
01:33:42,342 --> 01:33:46,438
Seeing you again, all these
old feelings came up, and...
1779
01:33:46,596 --> 01:33:49,315
I don't know, I guess
I just felt guilty.
1780
01:33:50,183 --> 01:33:54,359
But the fact that I still
have feelings for you
1781
01:33:54,521 --> 01:33:57,274
just means that what
we had was special.
1782
01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,317
Don't get me wrong, all right.
1783
01:33:59,484 --> 01:34:02,784
I love Ellie
more than anything.
1784
01:34:02,946 --> 01:34:05,449
But no matter
how much time passes
1785
01:34:06,199 --> 01:34:08,167
you'll always be my first love.
1786
01:34:11,204 --> 01:34:12,330
And you'll always be mine.
1787
01:34:12,997 --> 01:34:14,044
- Kev.
- Hey.
1788
01:34:14,207 --> 01:34:16,175
You have to try these
cupcakes, they're awesome.
1789
01:34:16,251 --> 01:34:18,379
Ellie, this is Vicky.
1790
01:34:18,628 --> 01:34:22,883
Oh, my God! The Vicky?
Kevin has told me so much about you.
1791
01:34:23,007 --> 01:34:26,011
You're a really lucky girl.
He's a great guy.
1792
01:34:27,262 --> 01:34:28,980
- Come dance with us.
- No, it's okay.
1793
01:34:29,139 --> 01:34:31,892
Yes, come on, this is
happening. Come on.
1794
01:35:11,556 --> 01:35:12,603
Hey.
1795
01:35:13,641 --> 01:35:14,642
Hey.
1796
01:35:18,062 --> 01:35:19,188
My name's Jim.
1797
01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:23,322
We were in Mr. Lee's
English class together.
1798
01:35:23,568 --> 01:35:24,615
Really?
1799
01:35:25,403 --> 01:35:29,579
Yeah, I...
Sorry, I don't remember you.
1800
01:35:29,782 --> 01:35:30,908
Okay.
1801
01:35:32,118 --> 01:35:35,622
I was the kid who everyone
saw on the Internet.
1802
01:35:35,997 --> 01:35:36,998
Mmm.
1803
01:35:37,081 --> 01:35:40,301
Sorry, you're going to
have to be more specific.
1804
01:35:40,460 --> 01:35:42,133
I pre-ejaculated twice.
1805
01:35:42,253 --> 01:35:43,755
Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right!
1806
01:35:43,838 --> 01:35:46,307
Levenstein.
Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
1807
01:35:46,466 --> 01:35:48,969
Now I remember. Yeah.
1808
01:35:49,844 --> 01:35:52,267
So, how have you been
since high school?
1809
01:35:52,639 --> 01:35:55,438
Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good.
Let's see.
1810
01:35:55,767 --> 01:35:56,768
Um...
1811
01:35:57,268 --> 01:35:58,269
Oh!
1812
01:36:00,939 --> 01:36:03,442
I married the most wonderful
woman in the world.
1813
01:36:05,735 --> 01:36:07,453
And we have
the cutest kid ever.
1814
01:36:08,821 --> 01:36:11,950
It sounds like
things are perfect.
1815
01:36:12,784 --> 01:36:15,628
I'm willing to do whatever
it takes to make it perfect.
1816
01:36:16,871 --> 01:36:21,047
And that means being the
sexiest husband possible.
1817
01:36:21,960 --> 01:36:23,086
Really?
1818
01:36:23,836 --> 01:36:25,179
Michelle, you look beautiful.
1819
01:36:25,547 --> 01:36:28,016
Oh, thanks.
1820
01:36:29,342 --> 01:36:30,810
Would you like to dance?
1821
01:36:31,386 --> 01:36:32,683
I'd love to.
1822
01:36:48,319 --> 01:36:49,320
Whoo!
1823
01:36:54,075 --> 01:36:55,247
Stifler.
1824
01:36:55,493 --> 01:36:58,087
Sherman? The Sherminator?
1825
01:36:58,621 --> 01:37:00,339
What the fuck
have you been up to?
1826
01:37:00,498 --> 01:37:02,876
Married. Had a kid.
1827
01:37:03,042 --> 01:37:04,760
And divorced.
1828
01:37:05,169 --> 01:37:07,718
Oh! I'm sorry.
1829
01:37:07,880 --> 01:37:09,052
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
1830
01:37:09,132 --> 01:37:12,181
But, you know what, at least I
got to keep little Furlong.
1831
01:37:13,344 --> 01:37:15,472
You named your kid
after Eddie Furlong?
1832
01:37:15,847 --> 01:37:17,190
Yes, I did. You know why?
1833
01:37:17,348 --> 01:37:20,397
Because Terminator 2 is still
the greatest film ever made.
1834
01:37:21,019 --> 01:37:24,523
Dude, you need
to get banged bad.
1835
01:37:24,548 --> 01:37:28,461
I'm gonna help you out. Your cock can
thank me later. What do you say?
1836
01:37:29,314 --> 01:37:32,219
No no. See I'm not going
to fall for that again.
1837
01:37:32,609 --> 01:37:33,696
Come on.
1838
01:37:33,697 --> 01:37:35,982
I know I was a bit of
a jerk back in the day
1839
01:37:35,983 --> 01:37:38,045
but I've grown up
a lot since then.
1840
01:37:38,320 --> 01:37:40,862
Please. Let me help you out.
1841
01:37:46,230 --> 01:37:52,435
Sigh. I'm just messing with you.
Get over here you little rascal.
1842
01:37:53,161 --> 01:37:55,791
Hey let's find you some
puss-puss. Let's go.
1843
01:38:02,209 --> 01:38:03,269
Okay, we have
to get out of here.
1844
01:38:03,357 --> 01:38:04,894
- It's about time.
- Yeah.
1845
01:38:10,183 --> 01:38:11,400
It's a lost cause.
1846
01:38:11,476 --> 01:38:14,229
All these women are either
married or came with dates.
1847
01:38:15,647 --> 01:38:16,300
Hey, Loni.
1848
01:38:16,301 --> 01:38:21,045
Dude, how would you like
to have your world blown?
1849
01:38:31,457 --> 01:38:33,926
Hasta la vista, Stifler.
1850
01:38:38,970 --> 01:38:42,645
Great, everybody's
getting laid but me.
1851
01:38:42,807 --> 01:38:43,704
This sucks.
1852
01:38:44,267 --> 01:38:45,165
Excuse me.
1853
01:38:46,437 --> 01:38:48,314
- Hi.
- Hi.
1854
01:38:48,481 --> 01:38:51,530
I'm looking for Paul Finch.
Have you seen him anywhere?
1855
01:38:51,593 --> 01:38:53,311
What do you want with Finch?
1856
01:38:53,469 --> 01:38:56,564
I'm here to pick him up.
I'm his mom.
1857
01:39:00,101 --> 01:39:01,318
Finch has a mom?
1858
01:39:03,605 --> 01:39:06,609
I mean, you're Finch's mom?
1859
01:39:07,442 --> 01:39:09,786
Yeah. Are you a friend of his?
1860
01:39:09,944 --> 01:39:11,036
Oh, yeah.
1861
01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:13,702
Paul is like my best friend.
1862
01:39:13,865 --> 01:39:18,120
I love him so much.
More now than ever before.
1863
01:39:18,286 --> 01:39:21,665
In fact, I can't believe we
haven't met. I'm Steven Stifler.
1864
01:39:24,584 --> 01:39:25,710
I'm Rachel.
1865
01:39:27,545 --> 01:39:29,593
What? What is it?
1866
01:39:29,756 --> 01:39:33,511
I just got this feeling like something
really bad is about to happen.
1867
01:39:33,676 --> 01:39:38,557
Don't worry.
I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
1868
01:39:43,144 --> 01:39:44,236
Oh, Jim!
1869
01:39:48,274 --> 01:39:49,321
Oh!
1870
01:39:51,736 --> 01:39:52,737
I want you so bad.
1871
01:39:52,820 --> 01:39:54,493
Oh, you have no idea!
1872
01:39:55,323 --> 01:39:57,371
Oh, God! Oh, God!
1873
01:39:57,533 --> 01:40:01,083
Oh, God, there it is.
I don't think I can hold it any more.
1874
01:40:01,162 --> 01:40:02,163
Hold it in!
1875
01:40:02,246 --> 01:40:04,294
I'm sorry, I will.
1876
01:40:04,415 --> 01:40:05,587
I just forgot
how awesome this is.
1877
01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:07,881
Oh, yeah, I need this.
1878
01:40:10,672 --> 01:40:13,346
Oh, God, Michelle!
Fuck, I love you!
1879
01:40:13,424 --> 01:40:14,676
Jim?
1880
01:40:16,761 --> 01:40:17,762
Nadia?
1881
01:40:19,972 --> 01:40:20,973
Hey.
1882
01:40:21,816 --> 01:40:24,990
I'm sorry. You are busy, yes?
1883
01:40:25,820 --> 01:40:26,912
- No.
- Yes.
1884
01:40:26,988 --> 01:40:28,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1885
01:40:28,823 --> 01:40:31,827
Nadia, it's so nice to see you.
1886
01:40:32,202 --> 01:40:34,876
But do you think you
could give us a minute?
1887
01:40:35,038 --> 01:40:36,005
Three.
1888
01:40:36,080 --> 01:40:37,081
Three minutes.
1889
01:40:37,248 --> 01:40:40,878
Okay! So nice you
are still together.
1890
01:40:40,960 --> 01:40:41,961
Aw!
1891
01:40:42,045 --> 01:40:44,423
And I see you've gotten
much better at this.
1892
01:40:45,131 --> 01:40:47,384
Well, thanks.
1893
01:40:52,263 --> 01:40:54,812
That's Jim?
He looks nothing like me.
1894
01:40:56,643 --> 01:41:01,774
You know, when I was in high
school, I dated a lacrosse player.
1895
01:41:02,023 --> 01:41:03,900
In fact, I dated a few of them.
1896
01:41:04,067 --> 01:41:06,069
You don't say.
1897
01:41:06,236 --> 01:41:09,410
I always wanted Paul
to be more into sports.
1898
01:41:09,572 --> 01:41:12,291
But he was never
that interested.
1899
01:41:12,784 --> 01:41:14,457
You don't have to sugarcoat it.
1900
01:41:14,619 --> 01:41:15,962
Finch was a klutz.
1901
01:41:18,456 --> 01:41:21,380
Yeah, I guess he was, but he
did not get that from me.
1902
01:41:21,584 --> 01:41:24,463
I was head cheerleader.
1903
01:41:24,796 --> 01:41:27,800
And if there's anything I
learned from lacrosse players,
1904
01:41:27,966 --> 01:41:31,516
it's that I like
to handle a stick
1905
01:41:33,179 --> 01:41:35,728
and cradle those balls.
1906
01:41:38,977 --> 01:41:40,194
I love you.
1907
01:41:41,145 --> 01:41:43,443
Are you ready for me, Stifler?
1908
01:41:47,902 --> 01:41:49,154
Oh, yeah!
1909
01:41:50,738 --> 01:41:52,331
Let's go.
1910
01:41:52,890 --> 01:41:54,413
Oh, Michelle.
1911
01:41:54,576 --> 01:41:56,499
Oh, God, Michelle.
1912
01:41:57,078 --> 01:41:59,501
You are amazing!
1913
01:41:59,872 --> 01:42:01,340
Better than the bathtub?
1914
01:42:01,416 --> 01:42:02,463
Much.
1915
01:42:04,252 --> 01:42:05,879
Better than this?
1916
01:42:06,337 --> 01:42:07,429
Ooh!
1917
01:42:10,758 --> 01:42:12,260
Of course.
1918
01:42:13,761 --> 01:42:15,684
Oh, take those off!
1919
01:42:15,847 --> 01:42:17,144
We shouldn't
be doing this.
1920
01:42:17,307 --> 01:42:18,099
Yes, we should.
1921
01:42:18,474 --> 01:42:20,317
Oh, Stifler.
1922
01:42:20,476 --> 01:42:22,023
Oh, Finch's mom!
1923
01:42:23,521 --> 01:42:24,864
Call me the Stifmeister!
1924
01:42:25,023 --> 01:42:27,446
Yeah, you are the Stifmeister.
1925
01:42:28,943 --> 01:42:30,195
MILF?
1926
01:42:36,868 --> 01:42:38,461
Oh, Finch's mom!
1927
01:42:38,703 --> 01:42:39,750
MILF.
1928
01:42:41,331 --> 01:42:42,378
MILF.
1929
01:42:46,127 --> 01:42:47,470
Tell me I'm the best.
1930
01:42:47,545 --> 01:42:49,218
You are the best!
1931
01:42:50,048 --> 01:42:51,095
MILF.
1932
01:42:52,342 --> 01:42:53,719
- MILF.
- MILF.
1933
01:42:55,345 --> 01:42:56,562
Oh, Finch's mom!
1934
01:42:57,180 --> 01:43:02,186
MILF! MILF! MILF!
1935
01:43:04,562 --> 01:43:06,030
Yes! Yes!
1936
01:43:06,105 --> 01:43:07,527
Oh, your
son's such a dork!
1937
01:43:07,607 --> 01:43:09,530
Stop talking about him!
1938
01:43:11,944 --> 01:43:14,618
Well, our first reunion
is officially in the books.
1939
01:43:14,781 --> 01:43:18,001
I don't know about you guys, but
my night ended pretty well.
1940
01:43:18,159 --> 01:43:19,251
It was great.
1941
01:43:19,327 --> 01:43:20,670
- I had a blast.
- It was unforgettable.
1942
01:43:20,745 --> 01:43:22,463
- Fuck yeah!
- I jizzed like a racehorse.
1943
01:43:23,164 --> 01:43:24,837
What happened to you at the
end of the night, Stifler?
1944
01:43:24,916 --> 01:43:26,213
Who did you end up with?
1945
01:43:26,292 --> 01:43:29,045
A gentleman never
kisses and tells, Jim.
1946
01:43:31,923 --> 01:43:32,970
Guys?
1947
01:43:35,051 --> 01:43:36,928
I'll be right back, okay?
1948
01:43:40,848 --> 01:43:41,940
Kara!
1949
01:43:48,481 --> 01:43:50,575
- Hey.
- Hey...
1950
01:43:51,359 --> 01:43:54,033
Look, I'm sorry about
what I said the other night.
1951
01:43:54,195 --> 01:43:57,574
No, I'm the one who
should be apologizing.
1952
01:43:57,740 --> 01:43:59,868
I can't believe the way I acted.
I'm so embarrassed.
1953
01:43:59,951 --> 01:44:01,498
Don't be.
1954
01:44:01,911 --> 01:44:05,211
When I was your age I was
pretty obsessed with sex, too.
1955
01:44:05,289 --> 01:44:06,381
I know.
1956
01:44:07,417 --> 01:44:08,509
I've seen the YouTube clip.
1957
01:44:09,001 --> 01:44:11,470
Oh, of course you did.
1958
01:44:11,629 --> 01:44:13,848
But, thanks for understanding.
1959
01:44:14,006 --> 01:44:16,805
I was thinking about it,
and you're right.
1960
01:44:16,968 --> 01:44:18,595
I should really wait
for someone special.
1961
01:44:20,304 --> 01:44:23,308
Just, it's going to be tough
to find a guy as good as you.
1962
01:44:26,728 --> 01:44:27,820
I'm sure you will.
1963
01:44:34,652 --> 01:44:36,746
I feel like a whole new
man after this weekend.
1964
01:44:36,821 --> 01:44:38,289
Kind of sucks
we have to leave, though.
1965
01:44:38,364 --> 01:44:41,493
Not me. I'm going to take
some time off my job
1966
01:44:41,576 --> 01:44:43,419
and stick around here
with Heather for a while.
1967
01:44:43,494 --> 01:44:44,586
Nice!
1968
01:44:44,662 --> 01:44:45,788
What about you, Finch?
1969
01:44:45,872 --> 01:44:49,092
Selena and I, we're planning
a little jaunt to Europe.
1970
01:44:49,250 --> 01:44:51,844
Just make sure you call your mom.
She misses you.
1971
01:44:52,712 --> 01:44:54,089
How would you know?
1972
01:44:55,882 --> 01:44:56,883
Oh...
1973
01:45:00,011 --> 01:45:01,934
I guess this is it, huh?
Back to reality?
1974
01:45:02,096 --> 01:45:03,848
We shouldn't wait
until the next reunion.
1975
01:45:04,015 --> 01:45:07,110
We should try to get
together every year.
1976
01:45:07,226 --> 01:45:09,854
What do you say,
until next time?
1977
01:45:09,937 --> 01:45:12,110
- Until next time.
- Until next time!
1978
01:45:21,824 --> 01:45:23,121
I fucked Finch's mom.
1979
01:45:23,242 --> 01:45:24,539
What?
1980
01:45:24,660 --> 01:45:26,003
What was that?
1981
01:46:48,077 --> 01:46:49,078
Hmm?
1982
01:46:49,745 --> 01:46:51,122
What's this?
1983
01:46:52,456 --> 01:46:54,208
Oh, no, dear. No, no, no.
1984
01:46:54,375 --> 01:46:55,718
No, no, dear. No!
1985
01:46:56,294 --> 01:46:57,295
Oh!
1986
01:47:03,175 --> 01:47:04,176
Oh...
1987
01:47:04,927 --> 01:47:07,976
Oh. Oh. Oh.
1988
01:47:08,222 --> 01:47:11,567
Ah. Oh. Oh.
1989
01:47:11,976 --> 01:47:14,855
Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
1990
01:47:15,062 --> 01:47:17,156
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
1991
01:47:17,815 --> 01:47:19,408
Oh! Oh!
1992
01:47:19,483 --> 01:47:21,531
Oh, my God!
1993
01:47:29,287 --> 01:47:30,526
Great movie.
140458
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