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1
00:00:06,886 --> 00:00:08,894
Previously, on
"Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:08,979 --> 00:00:10,871
I think this alien's here
to kill everybody.
3
00:00:10,964 --> 00:00:14,239
You will help me
find my device.
4
00:00:14,324 --> 00:00:16,256
That's on the glacier.
You can't go there.
5
00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,622
Harry, don't go!
It's too dangerous.
6
00:00:18,707 --> 00:00:20,887
- Not for me.
- Harry!
7
00:00:20,972 --> 00:00:22,003
You have kids?
8
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,353
We have a little boy
named Max.
9
00:00:23,438 --> 00:00:25,276
- Max.
- You should take my number.
10
00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:26,401
Call anytime.
11
00:00:26,486 --> 00:00:29,221
When I find my device,
I can finally kill them all.
12
00:00:29,306 --> 00:00:32,174
- Harry!
- Don't move.
13
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:38,159
I am what your people
call an extraterrestrial.
14
00:00:38,244 --> 00:00:38,974
Oh.
15
00:00:39,058 --> 00:00:41,223
- An alien.
- Oh, I feel nauseous.
16
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:43,683
You earn respect
through your actions, Deputy.
17
00:00:43,768 --> 00:00:44,942
Did you make
your own murder board?
18
00:00:45,027 --> 00:00:46,958
Toxicology results.
Sam was poisoned.
19
00:00:47,043 --> 00:00:49,092
You don't respect me,
and you never have.
20
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:50,699
I quit!
21
00:00:50,882 --> 00:00:53,485
I'm not quitting.
I'm gonna get us out of here.
22
00:00:55,094 --> 00:00:56,956
- Tell me how to help you.
- My leg.
23
00:00:57,041 --> 00:01:00,190
I will die
if you don't chop it off.
24
00:01:00,274 --> 00:01:02,714
Okay, look at me.
I won't let you die.
25
00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:05,673
Aah!
26
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,981
Do my feet look
like watermelons?
27
00:01:09,065 --> 00:01:10,374
'Cause they feel like it.
28
00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:12,115
The sexiest watermelons
29
00:01:12,199 --> 00:01:13,507
I've ever seen.
30
00:01:13,591 --> 00:01:17,250
Still so much to do
before"Jack" or "Joanie" comes.
31
00:01:17,334 --> 00:01:20,210
We need crib sheets
and burp cloths.
32
00:01:20,294 --> 00:01:22,125
Couples massage.
33
00:01:22,209 --> 00:01:25,215
So where do we stand
34
00:01:25,299 --> 00:01:27,260
on baby food?
35
00:01:27,344 --> 00:01:30,350
Jarred or homemade?
36
00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:31,830
I don't know.
I read somewhere homemade
37
00:01:31,914 --> 00:01:34,354
doesn't keep as well.
A little too lumpy.
38
00:01:34,438 --> 00:01:36,443
Plus, I've tried
baby applesauce,
39
00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:38,576
and it's freakin' delicious.
40
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,408
What's happening?
41
00:01:49,598 --> 00:01:51,229
I don't know.
42
00:01:57,940 --> 00:02:00,334
Oh, my God.
43
00:02:05,261 --> 00:02:07,742
Honey!
44
00:02:12,942 --> 00:02:16,946
Oh.
Honey, the baby.
45
00:02:20,049 --> 00:02:21,627
Uh, uh...
46
00:02:23,661 --> 00:02:25,080
Okay.
47
00:02:39,656 --> 00:02:41,182
You saw that, right?
48
00:02:53,648 --> 00:02:56,828
Brown Bird's "Bilgewater"...
49
00:03:01,017 --> 00:03:02,449
*RESIDENT ALIEN*
Season 01 Episode 09
50
00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:04,083
Episode Title: "Welcome Aliens"
Aired on: March 24, 2021
51
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,606
I'm dead.
52
00:03:05,789 --> 00:03:09,287
But if I'm dead, why do
I feel so warm and squishy
53
00:03:09,372 --> 00:03:11,246
like I'm being hugged
by a cloud?
54
00:03:11,361 --> 00:03:12,670
Oh, no.
55
00:03:12,754 --> 00:03:14,628
This must be the afterlife.
56
00:03:14,712 --> 00:03:17,414
I'm in human heaven.
57
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,449
It makes me want
to kill myself.
58
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:22,366
I see the morphine
is still working.
59
00:03:22,451 --> 00:03:24,325
What are you doing here?
60
00:03:24,410 --> 00:03:26,763
Why does the afterlife
61
00:03:26,848 --> 00:03:29,724
look like a crappy cabin?
62
00:03:29,809 --> 00:03:31,118
Are you dead too?
63
00:03:31,617 --> 00:03:33,012
I didn't want
to leave you alone
64
00:03:33,097 --> 00:03:35,558
after what you'd been through.
Come on.
65
00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:38,261
You need to eat just so you
can get your strength back.
66
00:03:40,390 --> 00:03:42,523
Mmm.
67
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:49,974
Now I know why you have 17
gallons of milk in your fridge.
68
00:03:51,742 --> 00:03:54,135
Okay, I need to change
your dressing.
69
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:58,671
Um, I think we should,
you know,
70
00:03:58,756 --> 00:04:00,152
try to avoid suspicion.
71
00:04:00,236 --> 00:04:02,590
So I started looking into
getting you a prosthetic.
72
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:06,201
I know... what the freakin' hell
is that?
73
00:04:06,285 --> 00:04:08,421
That is my leg.
74
00:04:08,505 --> 00:04:10,377
It's regenerating.
75
00:04:11,421 --> 00:04:12,469
How is that even possible?
76
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,471
My people are descendants
77
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,690
of octopuses.
78
00:04:16,774 --> 00:04:18,736
Soon it will grow longer,
79
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:22,479
and then I will transformthe
molecules into human shape.
80
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:25,612
So you're telling me
eventually that thing
81
00:04:25,696 --> 00:04:28,746
- will look like that one?
- Yes.
82
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,836
Except for the moleand the hangnail.
83
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,535
I chewed my toenaildown too low.
84
00:04:37,316 --> 00:04:39,406
You can go now.
85
00:04:40,537 --> 00:04:42,496
Excuse me?
86
00:04:43,671 --> 00:04:45,850
I stayed up all night.
87
00:04:45,934 --> 00:04:47,765
I got supplies.
I dressed your wounds.
88
00:04:47,849 --> 00:04:49,506
I cleaned you up,
and this is how you thank me?
89
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,334
I didn't ask you to stay.
90
00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:53,466
Well, I did
91
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:55,424
'cause that's what humans do.
92
00:04:55,509 --> 00:04:57,558
They take care of one another.
93
00:04:57,772 --> 00:04:59,666
You know, when some... I'm sorry,
94
00:04:59,751 --> 00:05:01,605
I can't take you seriously
with that thing.
95
00:05:01,689 --> 00:05:03,865
- What is wrong with it?
- It's perfectly normal.
96
00:05:04,292 --> 00:05:05,818
Jesus, can you just
97
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:08,182
put a sock on it?
98
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,829
It likes the fresh air.
99
00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:12,711
- Also, it's not a thing.
- It is a leg.
100
00:05:12,796 --> 00:05:14,929
You are leg-shaming me.
101
00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:19,944
Be careful with that.
102
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,673
- No.
- Please be careful.
103
00:05:22,979 --> 00:05:25,411
Do not press the black button.
104
00:05:25,495 --> 00:05:28,980
I'm not ready to radio
my people yet.
105
00:05:29,064 --> 00:05:30,895
This black button?
106
00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:33,689
Asta.
107
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,010
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
108
00:05:39,683 --> 00:05:43,470
- Oh!
- Thank you.
109
00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:51,899
You're welcome.
110
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,486
Please do not move.
111
00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:58,575
I'm going to work,
and I'll be back later.
112
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,197
If all goes as planned,
113
00:06:00,282 --> 00:06:03,157
there won't be a "later."
114
00:06:03,242 --> 00:06:06,439
Yes.
Later.
115
00:06:21,852 --> 00:06:23,103
Shit!
116
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,566
I knew it.
117
00:06:34,086 --> 00:06:35,958
Why are you ignoring my calls?
118
00:06:36,871 --> 00:06:39,398
Um, I'm sorry.
119
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,314
- I've just been so busy.
- Ooh.
120
00:06:42,398 --> 00:06:45,143
'Cause last night,
you sent me inside to get help,
121
00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:47,537
and when I came back out,
you and Harry were gone, so...
122
00:06:47,621 --> 00:06:49,539
- - Yeah, uh, sorry.
- Harry was in bad shape.
123
00:06:49,623 --> 00:06:51,541
And I realizedwe didn't
have an MRI machine.
124
00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:53,583
So I took him to the hospitalin Braddock.
125
00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:56,586
What?
126
00:06:58,153 --> 00:07:01,333
I know you too well.
You're lying.
127
00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:03,944
I am not.
128
00:07:04,028 --> 00:07:06,512
Yeah, you are.
You have a tell.
129
00:07:06,596 --> 00:07:07,838
Oh, really?
What's my tell?
130
00:07:07,923 --> 00:07:09,863
Well, I can't tell you
because then you'd know
131
00:07:09,947 --> 00:07:11,648
what the tell is and you'd
hide the tell from me,
132
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,111
and I wouldn't be able to tell.
It's like...
133
00:07:13,196 --> 00:07:15,260
Wow, you ever thought
about working for the CIA?
134
00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:17,349
Yeah, actually,
I'm waiting to hear back.
135
00:07:17,433 --> 00:07:19,351
Hey, Asta.
136
00:07:19,435 --> 00:07:22,354
The doctor had me call Braddock
to follow up on Harry's MRI.
137
00:07:22,438 --> 00:07:24,574
But they have no record of it.
138
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,186
That's a mistake.
So I'll take care of it.
139
00:07:28,270 --> 00:07:29,666
Thank you.
140
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:33,362
Why is she staring
at you like that?
141
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,455
What did you do?
142
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,935
Don't you have better things
to do, Ellen?
143
00:07:38,019 --> 00:07:39,589
Maybe unpack the shipment
of catheters
144
00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:40,807
that came in this morning?
145
00:07:40,891 --> 00:07:42,850
Oh, right.
The fun stuff.
146
00:07:47,223 --> 00:07:49,095
Got my eye
on you, Twelvetrees.
147
00:08:00,911 --> 00:08:02,655
- The power source is damaged.
148
00:08:02,739 --> 00:08:05,266
Built to provide energy
for 5,000 years
149
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,138
but apparently
not built to withstand
150
00:08:07,222 --> 00:08:09,441
an unprotected fall
into a crevasse.
151
00:08:09,877 --> 00:08:12,404
Certain alien races implant
tiny transmitters
152
00:08:12,488 --> 00:08:15,059
into human beings
to monitor their activity.
153
00:08:15,143 --> 00:08:16,843
If I can find one of those,
154
00:08:16,927 --> 00:08:19,309
I can reverse engineer it
to reboot my device.
155
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:31,422
Aah!
Mmm.
156
00:08:31,507 --> 00:08:32,598
Yeah.
157
00:08:34,535 --> 00:08:36,497
I heard you fell down
a crevasse.
158
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:38,456
Did you find your radio?
159
00:08:38,562 --> 00:08:41,438
My radio is broken.
160
00:08:41,983 --> 00:08:43,074
I'm trying to fix it.
161
00:08:43,213 --> 00:08:44,828
Well, maybe I can help.
162
00:08:44,912 --> 00:08:47,314
- Ah...
- Is this it?
163
00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,622
Don't touch that.
164
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,575
You need...
165
00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:54,402
To leave.
166
00:08:54,486 --> 00:08:56,837
At least you're okay.
167
00:08:58,144 --> 00:09:00,062
If Asta wasn't there,
168
00:09:00,225 --> 00:09:01,795
I would be dead.
169
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,716
Except now she knows
the truth about me.
170
00:09:04,801 --> 00:09:06,057
You told her?!
171
00:09:06,142 --> 00:09:08,800
I thought this whole alien
thing was just our secret.
172
00:09:09,066 --> 00:09:11,433
It stopped being a secret
173
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:14,509
when you told
your little friend over there
174
00:09:14,593 --> 00:09:15,946
in the head covering.
175
00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:17,774
She must have followed me.
Don't worry.
176
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,963
She's not gonna tell anyone.
177
00:09:20,141 --> 00:09:22,233
She swore to Allah.
178
00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:24,351
Allah knows?!
179
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,486
How many people have you told?
180
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,484
Are you trying to cut me out?
181
00:09:32,568 --> 00:09:34,627
'Cause if it wasn't for me,
you'd be in Georgia by now.
182
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:37,432
I made this truce happen.
I want in.
183
00:09:37,629 --> 00:09:39,174
You are so pushy.
184
00:09:39,322 --> 00:09:41,754
Oh, looks like aliens
185
00:09:41,838 --> 00:09:44,319
are also put off
by strong women.
186
00:09:45,031 --> 00:09:47,736
Get used to it.
We're not going anywhere.
187
00:09:49,767 --> 00:09:51,119
What are you hiding
under there?
188
00:09:51,226 --> 00:09:53,330
I covered it for a reason.
189
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,650
It's his radio
so he can contact his people.
190
00:09:55,735 --> 00:09:57,523
But it's broken.
So he's trying to fix it.
191
00:09:58,958 --> 00:10:00,832
Why can't you just go home
on your spaceship?
192
00:10:04,774 --> 00:10:06,736
They took it, didn't they?
193
00:10:06,979 --> 00:10:08,520
How did you know that?
194
00:10:08,604 --> 00:10:11,654
Must be the government.
That means they're after you.
195
00:10:11,738 --> 00:10:13,568
It could be
any of the agencies.
196
00:10:13,652 --> 00:10:16,006
But it's probably
"Men in Black."
197
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,051
It's a top-secret agency
198
00:10:18,135 --> 00:10:20,880
that monitors
alien activity on Earth.
199
00:10:20,964 --> 00:10:22,882
But they don't always
wear black,
200
00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:24,877
and they're not only men.
201
00:10:25,574 --> 00:10:28,797
Then why do they call them
"Men in Black"?
202
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:31,261
Because it's cooler
than calling them
203
00:10:31,346 --> 00:10:32,805
"People in Clothes."
204
00:10:32,889 --> 00:10:35,373
It's pretty obvious.
205
00:10:35,457 --> 00:10:37,385
I'm not worried.
206
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:42,173
Once I fix my radio,
207
00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,034
they won't be a problem.
208
00:10:44,118 --> 00:10:45,296
I'm just missing a part.
209
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:46,863
Have you tried
the hardware store?
210
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,299
They have everything.
211
00:10:48,383 --> 00:10:51,168
My dad even bought
a pair of pajamas there.
212
00:10:52,039 --> 00:10:54,871
Unless you know someone
who has been in contact
213
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,046
with other aliens, then I'm...
214
00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:59,049
What is the expression?
215
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:02,400
"Shit out of luck."
216
00:11:02,484 --> 00:11:04,881
If you don't stop using that
kind of language around us,
217
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,883
we're gonna have to wash
your mouth out with soap.
218
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,188
Go ahead.
I like soap.
219
00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:10,016
I eat it all the time.
220
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,758
Shit, ass, piss, dink.
221
00:11:12,842 --> 00:11:14,931
Where is the soap?
I'm so hungry.
222
00:11:17,194 --> 00:11:20,502
Wait, I know where you can go
to find alien stuff.
223
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,247
Oh.
224
00:11:32,122 --> 00:11:33,953
Hey!
Where are you going?
225
00:11:34,037 --> 00:11:35,781
I need to go pick up
226
00:11:35,865 --> 00:11:38,523
a missing piece for my radio.
227
00:11:38,607 --> 00:11:39,785
No.
228
00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:42,832
You are not driving
with one leg.
229
00:11:42,916 --> 00:11:44,877
Whoa!
230
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:46,618
Your leg grew back.
231
00:11:46,702 --> 00:11:48,573
Just like I said it would.
232
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:53,233
Now I have got to go.
233
00:11:53,317 --> 00:11:54,408
Okay.
234
00:11:54,492 --> 00:11:56,889
Even as a pretend doctor,
you have to know
235
00:11:56,973 --> 00:11:58,804
that the medication
still stays in your system.
236
00:11:58,888 --> 00:12:01,848
I just took more.
I'll be fine.
237
00:12:06,548 --> 00:12:08,640
Which one is my truck?
238
00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:10,337
Okay.
239
00:12:10,421 --> 00:12:12,513
Give me these.
240
00:12:12,597 --> 00:12:14,646
I will drive you.
241
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:16,863
Where are we going?
242
00:12:17,298 --> 00:12:19,216
Wow.
We're really gonna do this.
243
00:12:24,740 --> 00:12:26,263
Are they supposed to be me?
244
00:12:27,917 --> 00:12:30,267
My people are not a costume.
245
00:12:31,268 --> 00:12:33,401
Welcome to my life.
246
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:39,320
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
247
00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:50,425
Kind of cool that I'm here
248
00:12:50,510 --> 00:12:52,150
with an actual alien.
249
00:12:52,309 --> 00:12:53,574
I feel special.
250
00:12:53,659 --> 00:12:56,491
You're not special.
You're common.
251
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:58,020
That's oddly
less offensive now
252
00:12:58,105 --> 00:13:00,023
that I know you're
from outer space.
253
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:02,959
Here you go.
254
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,177
Thank you.
255
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:08,377
Okay.
So what now?
256
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:12,198
"Starman" by David Bowie...
257
00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:14,462
Our ancestors had teachers.
258
00:13:14,639 --> 00:13:18,820
The engineering knowledge came
from the extraterrestrials.
259
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,628
Finally, a little credit.
260
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,717
I like
this high-haired gentleman.
261
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:25,285
♪ He's told us
not to blow it ♪
262
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:28,158
♪ 'Cause he knows
it's all worthwhile ♪
263
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,869
♪ He told me
let the children lose it ♪
264
00:13:30,954 --> 00:13:32,900
The Moon landing was a sham.
265
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:35,817
It was all filmed
on a sound stage by Kubrick.
266
00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:38,472
The astronauts did land
on the Moon.
267
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:39,952
Good.
268
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,911
And their bodies were taken
over before they returned.
269
00:13:42,995 --> 00:13:44,435
What?
270
00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:47,003
And we find evidence of this
all around the world.
271
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:50,006
Mayans, everyone talks
about their calendar,
272
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,965
but they never gave credit
for their day planner.
273
00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:55,881
- We have the Grays.
- Insidious assholes.
274
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:59,102
- The Arcturians.
- Jerks, so cheap.
275
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,538
Little Green Men.
276
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,845
They are cute,
but they so know it.
277
00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:06,109
- The Mantis.
- One of them owes me money.
278
00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:10,330
And the Blue Avians.
279
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,024
They're actually very nice.
280
00:14:23,728 --> 00:14:25,820
Well, don't you two
look cozy?
281
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,371
Hello, Sheriff.
282
00:14:29,533 --> 00:14:31,883
Do you have anything
you want to say to me?
283
00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,876
Well, I don't know.
284
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,658
Do you have anything
you want to say to me?
285
00:14:38,053 --> 00:14:40,536
In that case, yes.
286
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,272
Have a good day.
287
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:44,495
Goodbye, Lewis.
I'll see you on Thursday.
288
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:49,108
♪ Walked out
on over the plains ♪
289
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,023
Thursday.
290
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,546
What's Thursday?
291
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,157
We're having lunch.
292
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,289
She's sitting here
probably trash-talking me,
293
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:59,901
and you buying her lunch?
I see how it is.
294
00:14:59,985 --> 00:15:01,381
She didn't say anything.
295
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:05,252
In fact, she mostly listened.
You could use that.
296
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,866
What is that
supposed to mean?
297
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:10,956
Your relationship with Liv
reminds me of me and your mom
298
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,737
before she up and left me.
299
00:15:13,469 --> 00:15:14,721
You mean when she died?
300
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,831
I'll never forgive her
for that.
301
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:20,096
Your mother was sharp.
She always challenged me.
302
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,575
When I messed up,
303
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,011
she wouldn't let me
off the hook
304
00:15:23,095 --> 00:15:25,097
until I took steps to fix it.
305
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,753
You might want to think
about that one.
306
00:15:29,479 --> 00:15:31,368
Order me a burger.
Be right back.
307
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:32,586
Oh.
308
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,719
Hey, hey, hey.
Dad, Dad.
309
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,591
Hey, hey!
It's okay to ask for help.
310
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,289
Look who's talking.
311
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:52,258
♪ If you think
what you got is enough ♪
312
00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:54,217
♪ Then God gonna
call your bluff ♪
313
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:57,217
♪ You got a long road ahead
314
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,136
♪ Longer than you think
315
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,700
♪ A long road ahead
316
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,628
Sam's toxicology results
are in.
317
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:17,501
Botulinum Toxin A
levels are through the roof.
318
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,894
Sam was poisoned.
319
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:22,593
Maybe with insulin
as the method of delivery,
320
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:26,031
all he or she would need to do
is inject the toxin
321
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:28,947
into a single insulin vial
322
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:32,034
and wait for Sam to use it.
323
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,869
♪ Ooh
324
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:41,220
Son of a bitch.
325
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:43,396
♪ Wake up in the morning
326
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,269
♪ Rise and shine
327
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:49,747
♪ Wake up in the morning,
rise and shine ♪
328
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,972
♪ Wake up in the morning,
rise and shine ♪
329
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,843
Hey, Sheriff, have a seat.
330
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,194
I'll be with you in about ten.
331
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,065
Yeah, well, I ain't here
on grooming business.
332
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,481
I'm here on official
sheriff's business.
333
00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:04,049
I see you do Botox injections.
334
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:05,590
Yeah.
335
00:17:05,675 --> 00:17:08,638
You'll need about 20 units
for that furrowed brow.
336
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,336
Well, I got news for you.
337
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:13,165
I like to furrow,
and I like the lines.
338
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,819
Abigail Hodges,
you're under the arrest
339
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,821
for the murder of Sam Hodges.
340
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,301
What?!
What are you talking about?
341
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,606
I'll tell you
what I'm talking about.
342
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,391
You see, I went through
your phone records,
343
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:22,827
and I found repeated calls,
344
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,829
and I mean a shit ton of them,
to one number.
345
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,785
You know who it belonged to?
Thomas Hoffman.
346
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,008
Okay, fine.
347
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,488
We are casually
seeing each other.
348
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,359
But are you gonna arrest me
for having a social life?
349
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:34,491
Can't a widow move on?
350
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:35,927
Well, of course,
a widow can move on.
351
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,016
The only problem
is those calls...
352
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:41,019
They started way
before Sam died.
353
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,803
You see, I think you wanted
to get rid of Sam
354
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:43,848
'cause you was
having an affair.
355
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:45,023
That's motive.
356
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,807
Oh, now just hang
on a second...
357
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:48,331
All you needed was
high levels of botulism,
358
00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,246
which you clearly
had access to.
359
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,117
Then you took that poison,
and you put it
360
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:53,510
in Sam's insulin bottle.
And then from there,
361
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,120
it was a ticking timebomb
just waiting to go off.
362
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:56,556
- No, just...
- And it finally did.
363
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,949
Turn around and put your hands
behind your back.
364
00:17:58,033 --> 00:17:59,080
- Sheriff.
- Turn around.
365
00:17:59,164 --> 00:18:00,604
You have the right
to remain silent.
366
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:01,953
Anything you say can
and will be used
367
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,346
against you in a court of law.
368
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,086
You got the right
to an attorney.
369
00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:06,566
If you cannot afford
an attorney,
370
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,916
I'd be surprised because
this salon is bangin'.
371
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,482
♪ Ooh, ooh
372
00:18:17,489 --> 00:18:19,016
What is it you're looking for
373
00:18:19,101 --> 00:18:21,231
at an alien experiencer panel?
374
00:18:21,869 --> 00:18:23,700
I'll know when I see it.
375
00:18:32,716 --> 00:18:36,549
Thank you.
Hi, I'm Peter Bach.
376
00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:38,464
Most of you know me
from my podcast
377
00:18:38,548 --> 00:18:40,597
as "The Alien Tracker."
378
00:18:40,681 --> 00:18:42,755
I have spent 15 years
379
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,950
working at
the Carl Sagan Center at SETI.
380
00:18:46,034 --> 00:18:47,734
I've been
a government consultant.
381
00:18:47,818 --> 00:18:50,794
And if you've read my books,
you'll know I possess
382
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,458
a special skill set
that makes aliens fear me.
383
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:56,351
And, of course,
I had my own encounter,
384
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,354
which was, well,
385
00:18:59,559 --> 00:19:02,231
terrifying to say the least.
386
00:19:02,512 --> 00:19:04,090
So it's my honest belief
387
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:06,535
that aliens walk amongst us.
388
00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:09,607
And my mission has become
to find aliens,
389
00:19:09,692 --> 00:19:11,366
to trap them,
390
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:13,934
and, well...
391
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:20,637
One shot of this...
392
00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:24,059
10,000 volts,
I can knock out an elephant.
393
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:27,039
You okay?
394
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,778
Yes.
395
00:19:29,199 --> 00:19:30,813
I'm not an elephant.
396
00:19:30,898 --> 00:19:33,730
I also found that talking
about my encounter
397
00:19:34,114 --> 00:19:36,379
helped me feel
a sense of control.
398
00:19:36,564 --> 00:19:39,655
And I'd like you to think
of this as a safe forum
399
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:41,483
where you can do the same.
400
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:43,606
So please, come on up
401
00:19:43,745 --> 00:19:45,716
and share with the room
402
00:19:45,801 --> 00:19:47,359
with no judgment,
403
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,623
so we can all hear
about your experiences.
404
00:19:51,752 --> 00:19:55,149
I was driving home
late one night
405
00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:57,587
when this blue light
406
00:19:57,671 --> 00:19:59,850
beamed through
the roof of my car.
407
00:19:59,934 --> 00:20:02,156
I woke with these
triangular cuts...
408
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,549
I was paralyzed.
409
00:20:03,633 --> 00:20:06,204
And lesions on my stomach
and across my back.
410
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,901
It was horrible.
411
00:20:07,985 --> 00:20:08,989
Um...
412
00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:11,122
It's etched on
my brain forever.
413
00:20:11,206 --> 00:20:14,677
They strapped me to
this cold,
414
00:20:14,762 --> 00:20:16,867
hard metal surface.
415
00:20:16,951 --> 00:20:18,520
- They're monsters.
- And...
416
00:20:18,604 --> 00:20:19,870
And they are here to kill us.
417
00:20:19,954 --> 00:20:23,656
Took this long tubular rod
418
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:27,355
and they put it in...
419
00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:29,706
In my...
420
00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:35,668
He was going
to say his asshole.
421
00:20:35,752 --> 00:20:37,757
One night, a few months ago,
422
00:20:37,841 --> 00:20:40,746
my ex-husband
and I were fighting,
423
00:20:41,236 --> 00:20:43,903
which is sort of a usual
thing for us.
424
00:20:44,065 --> 00:20:45,621
Um...
425
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,293
I finally decided
I'd had enough,
426
00:20:48,411 --> 00:20:49,726
so I ran out,
427
00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:51,728
but I wasn't sure
428
00:20:51,812 --> 00:20:54,162
if I was doing the right thing.
429
00:20:55,685 --> 00:20:57,821
And then I saw it.
430
00:20:57,989 --> 00:21:01,621
It was a fire in the sky,
431
00:21:02,416 --> 00:21:04,247
like a guiding light.
432
00:21:05,826 --> 00:21:07,629
It gave me strength.
433
00:21:08,829 --> 00:21:11,114
Strength to move on
and never look back.
434
00:21:12,963 --> 00:21:15,013
Months later,
I came into contact
435
00:21:15,098 --> 00:21:18,232
with who I now know
was the occupant of that UFO.
436
00:21:19,622 --> 00:21:20,895
Something about him
437
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,496
made me feel safe
438
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,145
and not alone.
439
00:21:27,673 --> 00:21:30,592
And I know that that's not
what you all have experienced.
440
00:21:30,676 --> 00:21:32,621
But trust me,
441
00:21:32,853 --> 00:21:35,043
based on my encounter,
442
00:21:35,725 --> 00:21:38,012
I don't think they're monsters.
443
00:21:39,860 --> 00:21:42,384
I think some of them
are here to do good.
444
00:21:48,542 --> 00:21:50,327
Nope!
445
00:21:51,175 --> 00:21:52,903
Wow.
446
00:21:53,286 --> 00:21:54,747
Abigail Hodges.
447
00:21:54,831 --> 00:21:56,749
- Who would have thought?
- Ha.
448
00:21:56,833 --> 00:21:59,621
Well, congratulations
on solving the case.
449
00:21:59,705 --> 00:22:00,797
You must be happy.
450
00:22:00,881 --> 00:22:02,624
Yeah, well,
you know, a man died.
451
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,539
So there really isn't very much
to be happy about.
452
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:07,760
Of course.
I just meant...
453
00:22:07,844 --> 00:22:10,284
Well, you did use up
a lot of resources
454
00:22:10,368 --> 00:22:11,546
dragging the lake.
455
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,331
Like,
a tremendous amount actually
456
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,203
that I'm still trying
to justify to the town council.
457
00:22:16,287 --> 00:22:18,902
Probably can't afford
to have Patience Family Day
458
00:22:18,986 --> 00:22:20,207
this year on the town green.
459
00:22:20,291 --> 00:22:22,688
But hey, you got
to the bottom it.
460
00:22:22,772 --> 00:22:25,038
- Uh-huh.
- That's what's important.
461
00:22:25,122 --> 00:22:26,474
Yeah, that's right.
That's what's important.
462
00:22:26,558 --> 00:22:29,521
Thank you.
463
00:22:29,605 --> 00:22:31,955
- Okay.
- Yeah.
464
00:22:41,530 --> 00:22:45,145
Hello to you, Jay.
What can I get for you?
465
00:22:45,229 --> 00:22:47,841
We have a happy hour special
on IPAs.
466
00:22:48,363 --> 00:22:51,935
Are you offering me a drink?
I'm not even 18 yet.
467
00:22:52,019 --> 00:22:54,981
I meant to offer you a juice
468
00:22:55,065 --> 00:22:57,723
in an opaque mug.
469
00:22:57,807 --> 00:22:59,464
Well, actually,
I just came in to ask
470
00:22:59,548 --> 00:23:01,422
if I could interview you
for the school paper.
471
00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:04,121
Everyone in town
is talking about the rescue.
472
00:23:06,294 --> 00:23:09,082
I'm so sick of people
making a big deal about this.
473
00:23:09,166 --> 00:23:11,258
You don't have to put me
on a pedestal.
474
00:23:11,342 --> 00:23:12,825
It won't take long,
475
00:23:12,909 --> 00:23:14,479
and I'm only doing it
for the extra credit.
476
00:23:14,563 --> 00:23:17,438
Oh, well, in that case.
477
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,746
Thanks.
478
00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:23,531
It's only a few questions.
479
00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:24,706
Ask away.
480
00:23:24,790 --> 00:23:26,926
All right.
481
00:23:27,010 --> 00:23:30,013
So you were an Olympic skier.
482
00:23:31,145 --> 00:23:33,628
What was it like to wipe out
483
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:35,630
and lose
in front of the whole world?
484
00:23:38,413 --> 00:23:39,634
Not awesome.
485
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:43,247
Would you consider yourself
a fallen hero
486
00:23:43,331 --> 00:23:45,423
because you were a hero
and then you fell?
487
00:23:45,655 --> 00:23:48,482
Hmm.
Mmm.
488
00:23:49,310 --> 00:23:52,600
Um, I don't know.
I thought this interview
489
00:23:52,685 --> 00:23:55,955
was supposed to be
about the rescue thing.
490
00:23:56,039 --> 00:23:58,001
- I'm establishing background.
- Cool.
491
00:23:58,085 --> 00:23:59,916
So what happened
to your hand?
492
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,091
Fractured it.
493
00:24:01,175 --> 00:24:04,007
First time
I fell down the crevasse.
494
00:24:04,091 --> 00:24:05,356
You fell down a crevasse?
495
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,794
Yeah.
What did you think happened?
496
00:24:09,410 --> 00:24:10,959
I don't know.
I thought you were stuck
497
00:24:11,044 --> 00:24:12,580
on top of the mountain.
498
00:24:12,664 --> 00:24:14,795
You climbed out with your hand
looking like that?
499
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,063
Well, yeah.
Kind of had to.
500
00:24:17,147 --> 00:24:18,978
I was 30 feet down.
501
00:24:19,062 --> 00:24:20,762
Asta and Harry
were down even further.
502
00:24:20,846 --> 00:24:22,199
I knew any rescue effort
would have to wait
503
00:24:22,283 --> 00:24:23,765
until the storm had passed,
504
00:24:23,849 --> 00:24:26,812
at which point,
it would be too late
505
00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:29,380
as we would have all gone
into hypothermia
506
00:24:29,464 --> 00:24:31,861
and be dead.
507
00:24:32,015 --> 00:24:33,364
Asta could have died?
508
00:24:35,731 --> 00:24:37,910
Yeah.
She could have.
509
00:24:37,994 --> 00:24:41,696
I mean, we all
could have died actually.
510
00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:42,959
We're pretty lucky.
511
00:24:45,697 --> 00:24:48,007
You know what, I, um,
512
00:24:48,091 --> 00:24:51,051
I think I'll take that juice
in the opaque mug now.
513
00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:55,667
You bitch, I almost lost you.
514
00:24:57,318 --> 00:24:59,323
Ow... oh.
515
00:24:59,773 --> 00:25:02,558
Oh, I'm okay.
516
00:25:03,044 --> 00:25:04,806
I just feel like...
517
00:25:05,208 --> 00:25:07,021
You should probably, like,
buy me a drink or something
518
00:25:07,106 --> 00:25:10,893
'cause I'm like... uh, my nerves
are like fried eggs.
519
00:25:12,072 --> 00:25:13,920
We're gonna do two sodas.
520
00:25:14,005 --> 00:25:15,687
One with vodka.
521
00:25:15,771 --> 00:25:17,123
When I woke up,
522
00:25:17,207 --> 00:25:19,517
I had no idea where I was.
523
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,172
I mean, one minute,
I was in bed,
524
00:25:22,256 --> 00:25:25,001
and the next minute,
I was lying in a ditch
525
00:25:25,085 --> 00:25:26,698
by the side of the road.
526
00:25:26,782 --> 00:25:28,918
And they put something in me.
527
00:25:29,002 --> 00:25:30,583
Look.
528
00:25:31,178 --> 00:25:34,302
I don't know why,
but they're following me.
529
00:25:34,703 --> 00:25:36,372
They're listening.
530
00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:38,623
Look, you can see it.
531
00:25:42,450 --> 00:25:45,543
Alien technology.
That's it.
532
00:25:53,375 --> 00:25:55,769
- Hey, honey.
- Honey.
533
00:25:57,247 --> 00:25:59,339
Why do I smell fish?
534
00:25:59,586 --> 00:26:01,545
Because I made branzino.
535
00:26:05,845 --> 00:26:07,760
Tonight's supposed to be
taco night.
536
00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:10,342
Does that mean that tacos
are moving to tomorrow night?
537
00:26:10,427 --> 00:26:11,743
Because that's...
That's spaghetti.
538
00:26:11,827 --> 00:26:14,354
Will you relax, just try to
get out of your comfort zone?
539
00:26:14,438 --> 00:26:15,442
Yeah, but...
540
00:26:15,526 --> 00:26:17,272
Max is at the movies
with Sahar.
541
00:26:17,357 --> 00:26:19,577
So I invited a friend over
with her husband.
542
00:26:21,097 --> 00:26:23,450
I want you to meet them.
You're gonna love them.
543
00:26:23,534 --> 00:26:24,712
Yep.
544
00:26:24,796 --> 00:26:26,802
Maybe we could
do fish tacos.
545
00:26:29,236 --> 00:26:30,892
This is my husband, Ben.
546
00:26:30,976 --> 00:26:33,025
Ben, this is Sarah
and Richard Houston.
547
00:26:33,109 --> 00:26:34,766
- Oh, come on.
- We're friends.
548
00:26:34,850 --> 00:26:37,073
You can call him Dick.
549
00:26:37,157 --> 00:26:38,813
Well, we're having fish.
550
00:26:42,336 --> 00:26:45,081
I want to thank you all
for coming and for sharing.
551
00:26:45,165 --> 00:26:46,256
Come down and visit me.
552
00:26:46,340 --> 00:26:48,171
We have a booth
on the con floor.
553
00:26:48,255 --> 00:26:50,956
A lot of cool merchandise.
Thank you.
554
00:26:54,826 --> 00:26:56,483
Excuse me.
555
00:26:56,567 --> 00:26:58,311
- Wait.
- Harry, where are you going?
556
00:27:02,182 --> 00:27:03,751
Alien Tracker, hold up.
557
00:27:03,835 --> 00:27:05,231
Alien Tracker!
558
00:27:05,315 --> 00:27:06,841
Can I get an autograph?
559
00:27:09,058 --> 00:27:10,149
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
560
00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:12,235
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
561
00:27:17,459 --> 00:27:19,950
Yeah.
You're welcome.
562
00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:40,182
Sorry.
It's my turn.
563
00:27:43,302 --> 00:27:44,585
Do you mind?
564
00:27:44,669 --> 00:27:47,152
I'm going to cut that alien
technology out of your arm,
565
00:27:47,236 --> 00:27:48,632
and then I'm going to leave.
566
00:27:50,575 --> 00:27:54,320
- What the hell!
- Quiet.
567
00:27:54,439 --> 00:27:56,482
Aah, it's not alien!
It's a BB.
568
00:27:56,567 --> 00:27:57,634
What?
569
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,240
A BB got lodged in my arm
when I was a kid.
570
00:27:59,325 --> 00:28:01,252
- Okay, I lied.
- What is wrong with you?
571
00:28:01,337 --> 00:28:02,951
You're the one
with the knife,
572
00:28:03,035 --> 00:28:05,083
you freakin' psycho.
573
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:07,782
Ugh!
574
00:28:10,259 --> 00:28:12,170
What the hell is going on?
575
00:28:12,255 --> 00:28:14,100
What are you looking for?
576
00:28:14,185 --> 00:28:15,217
And don't lie.
577
00:28:15,302 --> 00:28:17,068
I think I deserve
at least that.
578
00:28:20,095 --> 00:28:23,115
When the Grays abduct
a human,
579
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,443
they leave alien technology
implanted on their body.
580
00:28:27,146 --> 00:28:28,977
It is a transmitter.
581
00:28:29,154 --> 00:28:31,632
It is a way for them
to track the victim.
582
00:28:31,716 --> 00:28:33,761
I need to find one.
583
00:28:34,612 --> 00:28:36,487
Is that why we're here?
584
00:28:37,005 --> 00:28:39,944
So you can rip an implant
out of some poor person's arm?
585
00:28:40,028 --> 00:28:41,424
It's for my radio.
586
00:28:41,508 --> 00:28:45,123
The implant is made
of an alien metal.
587
00:28:45,276 --> 00:28:46,713
I need it.
588
00:28:58,220 --> 00:29:00,704
The Alien Tracker
is after me.
589
00:29:00,788 --> 00:29:03,794
- He can see me like Max.
- I don't understand.
590
00:29:03,878 --> 00:29:05,404
The rest is self-explanatory.
591
00:29:05,488 --> 00:29:08,320
His name is Alien Tracker.
592
00:29:08,404 --> 00:29:11,802
- Maybe we should go then.
- Yes.
593
00:29:13,061 --> 00:29:14,326
It was, like...
594
00:29:14,410 --> 00:29:15,719
I mean, he designed the whole
thing himself,
595
00:29:15,803 --> 00:29:17,852
the whole thing.
He made it all on his own.
596
00:29:17,936 --> 00:29:19,331
Oh, I'm so sad.
597
00:29:19,415 --> 00:29:20,681
I thought Max
was gonna be here tonight.
598
00:29:20,765 --> 00:29:22,726
We're so looking forward
to meeting him.
599
00:29:22,810 --> 00:29:24,336
Right, honey?
600
00:29:24,420 --> 00:29:26,687
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I love kids.
601
00:29:26,771 --> 00:29:28,863
We want them,
but the doctor said
602
00:29:28,947 --> 00:29:30,995
Sarah's probably too old.
603
00:29:31,079 --> 00:29:32,344
I'm sorry.
604
00:29:32,428 --> 00:29:34,912
I'm sure that
it will happen for you two.
605
00:29:36,389 --> 00:29:38,655
Meanwhile, enjoy the freedom
'cause kids are a lot.
606
00:29:38,739 --> 00:29:40,222
Mmm.
607
00:29:40,306 --> 00:29:41,658
That's why it's so nice
having some adult time.
608
00:29:41,742 --> 00:29:43,051
Right, honey?
609
00:29:43,135 --> 00:29:45,401
Mmm.
Fun fact, more people died
610
00:29:45,485 --> 00:29:47,969
choking on branzino bones
per year than heart disease.
611
00:29:49,794 --> 00:29:52,100
Honey, could you help me
with dessert?
612
00:29:55,538 --> 00:29:57,802
Sweetie, you haven't said
two words all night.
613
00:29:59,281 --> 00:30:01,156
I'm pulling
all of the weight here.
614
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,723
Well, I'm sorry.
615
00:30:02,807 --> 00:30:05,116
I think not having tacos has
kind of thrown me off my game.
616
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:06,596
Look, I'm trying.
617
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,685
You spent the last half hour
playing medical examiner
618
00:30:08,769 --> 00:30:09,817
with your fish bones.
619
00:30:09,901 --> 00:30:11,122
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
620
00:30:11,206 --> 00:30:12,950
I swallowed most of them.
621
00:30:13,034 --> 00:30:14,430
Uh, it doesn't
make me feel better.
622
00:30:14,514 --> 00:30:15,692
Okay.
I feel terrible.
623
00:30:17,952 --> 00:30:19,783
I really like Sarah and Dick.
624
00:30:19,867 --> 00:30:22,394
And it's nice to have
couple friends who we can
625
00:30:22,478 --> 00:30:25,397
have over for dinner.
Can you try?
626
00:30:25,481 --> 00:30:28,574
Okay.
Look, I'll be more sociable.
627
00:30:28,658 --> 00:30:31,665
I'll talk to Dick
about candle making.
628
00:30:31,749 --> 00:30:34,058
Yeah, sure.
629
00:30:34,142 --> 00:30:37,279
Or something else.
630
00:30:37,363 --> 00:30:40,369
What, you don't... what,
you don't like my candles?
631
00:30:40,453 --> 00:30:42,197
No, I mean, of course.
632
00:30:42,281 --> 00:30:45,766
I... love them.
633
00:30:45,850 --> 00:30:47,593
It's just...
634
00:30:47,677 --> 00:30:50,332
It's not really exciting
dinner conversation.
635
00:30:50,855 --> 00:30:52,163
Hmm.
636
00:30:52,247 --> 00:30:55,732
Not sure I want to live
in that world, but okay.
637
00:30:55,816 --> 00:30:57,821
Just leave the baby
talk to me, okay?
638
00:30:57,905 --> 00:30:59,127
I'm the mother-to-be.
639
00:30:59,211 --> 00:31:00,432
Well, that's not what
the doctor said.
640
00:31:00,516 --> 00:31:02,696
Hey, listen, asshole,
just do your job.
641
00:31:02,780 --> 00:31:04,001
Keep them engaged
642
00:31:04,085 --> 00:31:05,611
so I can go on a little
reconnaissance mission.
643
00:31:05,695 --> 00:31:07,875
I did an Internet deep dive
and found pictures of Ben
644
00:31:07,959 --> 00:31:10,704
making these shitty candles.
Ask him about it.
645
00:31:10,788 --> 00:31:12,096
Hope everyone's
in the mood for pie.
646
00:31:12,180 --> 00:31:14,185
- Oh.
- Can't wait.
647
00:31:14,269 --> 00:31:15,883
May I use
your powder room first?
648
00:31:15,967 --> 00:31:17,707
Of course.
649
00:31:19,666 --> 00:31:20,801
I have to say,
650
00:31:20,885 --> 00:31:23,107
these are really,
really nice candles.
651
00:31:23,191 --> 00:31:25,283
What are they made of?
Soy?
652
00:31:25,367 --> 00:31:26,807
Well, actually,
there are... yeah,
653
00:31:26,891 --> 00:31:29,810
there are several
different kinds of, um...
654
00:31:29,894 --> 00:31:31,286
Not sure.
655
00:31:32,070 --> 00:31:34,162
I don't know.
656
00:31:34,246 --> 00:31:36,726
Just a regular
store-bought candle.
657
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:50,961
Mmm.
658
00:31:51,045 --> 00:31:52,746
Okay, um, keep moving.
659
00:31:52,830 --> 00:31:55,397
I got this.
660
00:31:55,963 --> 00:31:58,882
Oh, my God.
You're the Alien Tracker.
661
00:31:58,966 --> 00:32:02,581
I have listened to
every episode of your podcast.
662
00:32:02,665 --> 00:32:05,584
I was wondering if maybe
I could get a selfie with you?
663
00:32:05,668 --> 00:32:07,238
And this crazy dude came in
664
00:32:07,322 --> 00:32:10,586
and tried
to stab me with a scalpel.
665
00:32:11,065 --> 00:32:14,158
Why are you just staring at me?
Are you gonna help me?
666
00:32:14,242 --> 00:32:15,591
Can we just go look for him?
667
00:32:17,942 --> 00:32:19,555
I'm not crazy.
668
00:32:19,639 --> 00:32:23,646
- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
- Hey, can I help you?
669
00:32:23,730 --> 00:32:26,083
I need to hide.
Can you leave?
670
00:32:26,167 --> 00:32:27,777
What are you hiding from?
671
00:32:29,431 --> 00:32:31,651
The Alien Tracker.
He's chasing me.
672
00:32:35,350 --> 00:32:38,530
He thinks I'm an alien.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
673
00:32:38,614 --> 00:32:42,273
Um...
He's a crazy guy.
674
00:32:42,357 --> 00:32:45,621
Well, I have no problem
hiding aliens.
675
00:32:46,753 --> 00:32:48,366
Wait a minute.
676
00:32:48,450 --> 00:32:51,021
You are that hair guy,
677
00:32:51,105 --> 00:32:53,328
the one who knows
all about ancient monuments.
678
00:32:53,412 --> 00:32:56,284
Yeah, that's me.
Would you like a signed copy?
679
00:32:58,330 --> 00:33:00,204
I would rather have
680
00:33:00,288 --> 00:33:02,464
flower-shaped fruit.
681
00:34:00,029 --> 00:34:03,178
Hey, what are you
doing up here?
682
00:34:03,263 --> 00:34:05,038
I know.
I'm such a snoop, right?
683
00:34:05,122 --> 00:34:07,061
I just love
your decorating style.
684
00:34:07,146 --> 00:34:08,999
I had to see what the rest
of the house looked like.
685
00:34:09,232 --> 00:34:12,177
You could have asked
for a tour.
686
00:34:16,699 --> 00:34:18,654
I'll be honest with you.
687
00:34:20,079 --> 00:34:21,513
This whole
688
00:34:22,131 --> 00:34:24,876
"not being able
to have kids" thing
689
00:34:25,732 --> 00:34:27,364
is really hard.
690
00:34:28,015 --> 00:34:30,237
And I just wanted
to see your son's room.
691
00:34:30,528 --> 00:34:32,044
Oh.
692
00:34:32,806 --> 00:34:34,419
I'm sorry.
693
00:34:34,512 --> 00:34:35,568
Yeah.
694
00:34:35,762 --> 00:34:37,767
Just don't give up.
695
00:34:37,851 --> 00:34:39,855
Women are having babies
older and older now.
696
00:34:39,940 --> 00:34:40,944
You just never know.
697
00:34:41,029 --> 00:34:43,337
I'm actually not the problem.
698
00:34:43,421 --> 00:34:46,253
Dick only said that because
he's so self-conscious.
699
00:34:46,337 --> 00:34:49,605
But he has very low motility.
700
00:34:49,689 --> 00:34:51,563
Look, if you want to get
a taste for it,
701
00:34:51,647 --> 00:34:53,391
you can babysit
Max whenever you want.
702
00:34:53,475 --> 00:34:55,738
Oh, I would love that.
703
00:34:56,933 --> 00:34:58,848
I'll take such
good care of him.
704
00:35:01,817 --> 00:35:03,778
What's interesting is that
705
00:35:03,904 --> 00:35:06,926
the masonry style
of Delphi, Cuzco,
706
00:35:07,010 --> 00:35:10,626
or Sacsayhuamán
are virtually identical,
707
00:35:10,710 --> 00:35:13,411
and they're considered
"navels of the world"
708
00:35:13,495 --> 00:35:15,805
where deities
descended from the sky
709
00:35:15,889 --> 00:35:19,112
and imparted knowledge
to the local population.
710
00:35:19,196 --> 00:35:20,723
So those places
711
00:35:20,807 --> 00:35:23,203
are on two opposite ends
of the planet,
712
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:25,510
and they have the same stories.
713
00:35:25,594 --> 00:35:27,294
So you have to wonder
714
00:35:27,378 --> 00:35:29,601
if these people
had been visited
715
00:35:29,685 --> 00:35:31,436
by the same beings.
716
00:35:31,521 --> 00:35:34,737
And if so, then you have
to ask the question,
717
00:35:34,911 --> 00:35:38,122
"Who were they?
And where did they come from?"
718
00:35:39,154 --> 00:35:42,458
- You should be on television.
- Okay.
719
00:35:42,543 --> 00:35:45,872
- I have to go.
- I hope I didn't bore you.
720
00:35:46,029 --> 00:35:47,358
No.
721
00:35:47,442 --> 00:35:49,447
You're out of fruit flowers.
722
00:35:49,531 --> 00:35:51,188
I left you the honeydew melon.
723
00:35:51,443 --> 00:35:53,897
They taste
like old women's perfume.
724
00:36:07,897 --> 00:36:11,034
Kate doesn't love
the whole candle thing?
725
00:36:11,118 --> 00:36:13,099
I accidentally spilled
some wax on her head once.
726
00:36:13,184 --> 00:36:14,210
She lost some hair.
727
00:36:14,295 --> 00:36:15,473
- Yeah.
- What are you gonna do?
728
00:36:15,557 --> 00:36:17,013
Yeah, I get it.
You know,
729
00:36:17,098 --> 00:36:20,191
Sarah can get pretty particular
about the things I do too.
730
00:36:20,344 --> 00:36:21,566
- Mm-hmm.
- So yeah.
731
00:36:21,650 --> 00:36:23,307
Very passionate,
very passionate ladies.
732
00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:24,917
Oh, that's...
that's one word for it.
733
00:36:28,962 --> 00:36:31,707
Want to fire it up?
Show you how it's done.
734
00:36:31,791 --> 00:36:33,883
- Yes, yes.
- You sure?
735
00:36:33,967 --> 00:36:35,449
Please, yeah, yeah, oh.
736
00:36:35,533 --> 00:36:36,755
- Oh.
- Oh!
737
00:36:36,839 --> 00:36:38,539
- Oh.
- Okay.
738
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,584
I just find it pretty relaxing.
739
00:36:47,669 --> 00:36:48,834
Yeah.
740
00:36:48,919 --> 00:36:52,902
Helps me cope with
the pressures of being mayor,
741
00:36:52,986 --> 00:36:55,684
especially after
the town doctor was murdered.
742
00:36:57,860 --> 00:36:59,430
That's horrible.
743
00:36:59,514 --> 00:37:01,562
Yeah, yeah.
744
00:37:01,646 --> 00:37:03,086
We did just make
an arrest though.
745
00:37:03,170 --> 00:37:05,653
And it was the first murder
in Patience
746
00:37:05,737 --> 00:37:08,308
since, like, the 1800s.
747
00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:11,747
I've always wanted
to say, you know,
748
00:37:11,831 --> 00:37:14,575
"Not on my watch, buddy."
749
00:37:14,659 --> 00:37:17,404
But yeah, it was...
750
00:37:17,488 --> 00:37:18,841
It was on my watch.
751
00:37:22,015 --> 00:37:25,108
Think I might have been across
the street when it happened.
752
00:37:27,498 --> 00:37:29,196
Uh...
753
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:32,637
Do you like pumpkin spice?
754
00:37:37,552 --> 00:37:40,253
Mmm.
That was close.
755
00:37:40,337 --> 00:37:41,777
It's like everybody
is talking about me
756
00:37:41,861 --> 00:37:43,648
like I'm some big hero...
757
00:37:43,732 --> 00:37:45,998
♪ Close to you
758
00:37:46,082 --> 00:37:48,609
Except for the two people
whose lives I actually saved
759
00:37:48,693 --> 00:37:52,175
that incidentally are both
completely ignoring me.
760
00:37:53,655 --> 00:37:55,616
♪ Close to you
761
00:37:55,700 --> 00:37:57,836
You know, I should be hanging
out with my friend right now.
762
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,664
Bitch, I'm your friend.
763
00:37:59,748 --> 00:38:02,406
We're closer than you and Asta.
764
00:38:02,490 --> 00:38:04,538
We shared a boyfriend
in high school.
765
00:38:04,622 --> 00:38:07,150
You mean the guy that you
slept with behind my back?
766
00:38:07,234 --> 00:38:09,108
I grabbed his dick,
and he was into it.
767
00:38:09,192 --> 00:38:11,067
So what am I supposed to do,
say no?
768
00:38:11,151 --> 00:38:12,459
Oh, yeah.
Fair point.
769
00:38:13,980 --> 00:38:16,942
It just, like, bothers me
I can't get a hold of them.
770
00:38:17,026 --> 00:38:18,770
I've been texting all day.
771
00:38:18,854 --> 00:38:20,990
I don't know, maybe something
happened to her.
772
00:38:21,074 --> 00:38:22,730
Maybe they're not okay.
773
00:38:22,814 --> 00:38:24,428
I don't know.
It's kind of freaking me out.
774
00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:27,126
Yeah, probably something bad
did happen to her.
775
00:38:27,210 --> 00:38:28,998
I don't know.
She probably got kidnapped
776
00:38:29,082 --> 00:38:30,608
or something
or, like, people are after her
777
00:38:30,692 --> 00:38:33,741
and, like, she's in the back
of a car, like, in a trunk,
778
00:38:33,825 --> 00:38:36,005
like, screaming
and, like, pounding
779
00:38:36,089 --> 00:38:38,181
and, like...
Or she could be dead.
780
00:38:38,265 --> 00:38:40,183
She could be dead
in a ditch somewhere, like,
781
00:38:40,267 --> 00:38:41,488
covered in blood
782
00:38:41,572 --> 00:38:44,927
and, like, intestines are,
like, trailing out...
783
00:38:45,011 --> 00:38:46,537
Is this supposed to
help me feel better?
784
00:38:46,621 --> 00:38:47,930
Okay.
785
00:38:48,014 --> 00:38:49,627
So we're gonna switch gears
over to karaoke.
786
00:38:49,711 --> 00:38:53,239
First up, we have our own Liv
Baker singing a song for us.
787
00:38:53,323 --> 00:38:56,939
Come on.
788
00:38:57,023 --> 00:39:00,246
Bette Midler's
"Wind Beneath My Wings"...
789
00:39:02,593 --> 00:39:07,819
♪ Oh, whoa
790
00:39:07,903 --> 00:39:09,952
♪ It must have
been cold there ♪
791
00:39:10,037 --> 00:39:12,865
♪ In my shadow
792
00:39:15,737 --> 00:39:18,482
♪ To never have sunlight
793
00:39:18,566 --> 00:39:21,308
♪ On your face
794
00:39:23,919 --> 00:39:28,535
♪ You were content
to let me shine ♪
795
00:39:28,619 --> 00:39:31,799
♪ That's your way
796
00:39:31,883 --> 00:39:36,149
♪ You always walked
a step behind ♪
797
00:39:39,065 --> 00:39:42,111
♪ So I was the one
with all the glory ♪
798
00:39:43,634 --> 00:39:45,813
What the hell is happening?
799
00:39:45,897 --> 00:39:48,642
♪ While you were the one
800
00:39:48,726 --> 00:39:52,034
♪ With all the strength
801
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:59,001
♪ A beautiful face
without a name ♪
802
00:39:59,085 --> 00:40:01,043
♪ For so long
803
00:40:02,349 --> 00:40:06,005
♪ A beautiful smile
that hides the pain ♪
804
00:40:09,138 --> 00:40:10,838
♪ Did you ever know
805
00:40:10,922 --> 00:40:14,535
♪ That you're my hero
806
00:40:17,233 --> 00:40:21,281
♪ And everything
I would like to be? ♪
807
00:40:24,849 --> 00:40:27,116
♪ I can fly higher
808
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:31,117
♪ Than an eagle
809
00:40:32,727 --> 00:40:36,644
♪ You are the wind
beneath my wings ♪
810
00:40:42,041 --> 00:40:43,567
Okay.
811
00:40:49,744 --> 00:40:52,445
Guess I'm deputy again.
812
00:41:03,410 --> 00:41:05,020
Oh, shit.
813
00:41:07,457 --> 00:41:09,680
I first learned the concept
of two for one
814
00:41:09,764 --> 00:41:12,984
when there was a sale on day
old baguettes at the market.
815
00:41:18,903 --> 00:41:21,300
But having this Alien Tracker
in my grips
816
00:41:21,384 --> 00:41:23,694
and discovering he was
implanted with the very chip
817
00:41:23,778 --> 00:41:26,349
I need is even more exciting
818
00:41:26,433 --> 00:41:29,131
than getting an extra
two-foot-long crouton.
819
00:41:30,205 --> 00:41:31,470
Don't move.
820
00:41:31,742 --> 00:41:34,966
I'm taking that alien
technology out of your neck.
821
00:41:35,050 --> 00:41:39,362
No, wait.
Where is my baby?
822
00:41:39,446 --> 00:41:40,450
What baby?
823
00:41:40,534 --> 00:41:42,191
The one you
took out of my wife
824
00:41:42,275 --> 00:41:44,106
30 years ago on the bus.
825
00:41:44,190 --> 00:41:46,717
We don't do that.
That's the Greys.
826
00:41:46,801 --> 00:41:48,110
You're a Grey.
827
00:41:48,194 --> 00:41:51,200
- How dare you!
- Please don't take it out.
828
00:41:51,284 --> 00:41:54,116
It's the only way they can
find me if they come back.
829
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,506
It's the only way
I'll ever meet my son.
830
00:41:58,291 --> 00:42:00,075
They're not coming back
for you.
831
00:42:01,076 --> 00:42:03,383
They already got
what they wanted.
832
00:42:13,689 --> 00:42:15,084
I recognize you.
833
00:42:15,169 --> 00:42:17,174
You were in
that Experiencer Panel.
834
00:42:17,259 --> 00:42:18,394
Mmm, yeah.
835
00:42:18,479 --> 00:42:20,136
I heard what you said
up there.
836
00:42:20,295 --> 00:42:23,341
It was very touching.
But you should be careful.
837
00:42:24,749 --> 00:42:26,714
- What do you mean?
- For all you know,
838
00:42:26,799 --> 00:42:30,023
your alien is a Christopher
Columbus of the sky.
839
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:23,162
Let's go.
I got what I needed.
840
00:43:23,247 --> 00:43:24,806
Well, that makes me nervous.
841
00:43:24,891 --> 00:43:26,806
Don't worry.
I didn't hurt him.
842
00:43:27,727 --> 00:43:30,360
He was on his knees,
thanking me.
843
00:43:30,445 --> 00:43:34,188
- You're a monster.
- You're welcome.
844
00:43:37,072 --> 00:43:38,943
There are no monsters.
845
00:43:39,487 --> 00:43:43,297
Beings do what needs to be
done in order to survive.
846
00:43:57,063 --> 00:43:58,415
Asta!
847
00:43:58,499 --> 00:44:00,983
"No Aloha" by The Breeders...
848
00:44:01,067 --> 00:44:03,159
♪ No bye, no aloha
849
00:44:03,243 --> 00:44:05,684
Are you in there?!
850
00:44:07,552 --> 00:44:11,254
♪ Gone with
a rock promoter ♪
851
00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:20,873
♪ A rock promoter
852
00:44:20,957 --> 00:44:23,066
Aah!
853
00:44:23,151 --> 00:44:25,285
Ow, shit!
854
00:44:26,810 --> 00:44:28,986
♪ And now may die
855
00:44:33,453 --> 00:44:38,153
♪ Oh, the treats
856
00:44:42,472 --> 00:44:44,608
♪ Saw it on the wall
857
00:44:44,763 --> 00:44:48,652
♪ "Motherhood means
mental freeze" ♪
858
00:44:50,697 --> 00:44:52,482
♪ Freezeheads
859
00:44:53,659 --> 00:44:56,480
♪ No aloha
860
00:44:58,864 --> 00:45:02,392
♪ I know, I saw
861
00:45:02,476 --> 00:45:04,652
♪ And now may die
60953
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