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1
00:00:01,533 --> 00:00:03,000
I think
if the wedding invitations
2
00:00:03,033 --> 00:00:04,500
were left up to the men,
3
00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:07,866
we'd just drive around sticking
fliers in windshields, you know.
4
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:09,700
Just...
5
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,033
Not even typed up either.
6
00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:13,833
Just magic markers,
Xeroxed, you know.
7
00:00:13,866 --> 00:00:15,666
"Party!"
8
00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:20,466
What's needed
is a divorce announcement.
9
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:21,533
"Mr. and Mrs. Fred Johnson
10
00:00:21,566 --> 00:00:23,333
"request the honor
of your presence
11
00:00:23,366 --> 00:00:26,033
"at the returning
of their daughter
12
00:00:26,066 --> 00:00:29,266
back to Mr. and Mrs.
Fred Johnson."
13
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,066
Hi.
14
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,233
Hi, can I help you?
15
00:00:38,266 --> 00:00:40,066
Yes, we'd like
some wedding invitations.
16
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:42,133
Oh! Well, congratulations.
17
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,566
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
18
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:44,566
When's the wedding?
19
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,966
June.
Late June.
20
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:50,033
Oh, well, we have quite a few
to pick from.
21
00:00:50,066 --> 00:00:51,800
They're arranged
in order of price.
22
00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:53,700
The most expensive
are in the front.
23
00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:55,100
Mm-hm.
24
00:00:58,233 --> 00:00:59,966
Uh...
25
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,782
I don't know, what--
What about this one?
26
00:01:01,782 --> 00:01:01,833
I don't know, what--
What about this one?
27
00:01:01,866 --> 00:01:03,400
Uh, to tell you the truth,
28
00:01:03,433 --> 00:01:06,400
they haven't manufactured
that one for a number of years.
29
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:07,900
I might have
a couple boxes left
30
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:09,233
in our warehouse
in New Jersey.
31
00:01:09,266 --> 00:01:10,233
I'd have to check.
32
00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:11,233
Oh, no.
33
00:01:11,266 --> 00:01:12,233
George, that's so ugly.
34
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,833
We don't want that.
35
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:14,966
What's the difference?
36
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,000
You just read it
and mail it right back.
37
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,000
These ones.
38
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,466
Why don't they make them
anymore?
39
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:23,566
Well, for one thing,
the glue isn't very adhesive.
40
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,000
It takes a lot of moisture
to make them stick.
41
00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:28,700
So we pick up some Elmer's.
42
00:01:31,766 --> 00:01:31,782
All right.
43
00:01:31,782 --> 00:01:33,333
All right.
44
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,333
Do you see what
I do for you?
45
00:01:37,166 --> 00:01:38,133
Hey, Kramer.
46
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,133
KRAMER:
Hey, George.
47
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:40,533
Lilly.
48
00:01:40,566 --> 00:01:42,500
No, Susan.
49
00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:43,900
No, no, it's Lilly.
50
00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:45,666
I think I know my own name.
51
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,300
It's Susan.
52
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:50,600
Well, you--
You look like a Lilly.
53
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,900
It's coming, Jerry,
it's coming.
54
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:57,900
What's coming?
55
00:01:57,933 --> 00:01:59,633
The day.
56
00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:01,782
Ah, the day.
57
00:02:01,782 --> 00:02:02,000
Ah, the day.
58
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:03,900
We ordered
the wedding invitations today.
59
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,133
Nothing can stop it now,
nothing.
60
00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:10,400
It's here. It's happening.
61
00:02:10,433 --> 00:02:11,400
Can I do this?
62
00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:12,566
I can't do this.
Look at me.
63
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,300
Look at me,
I can't do this.
64
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,500
I can't do it.
Help me, Jerry, help me.
65
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:18,200
Why don't you just
break it off with her.
66
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,200
Tell her it's over.
67
00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:21,233
I can't.
68
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,233
Why not?
69
00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:23,566
Because I can't face that scene.
70
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,400
You know what kind of a scene
that would be?
71
00:02:25,433 --> 00:02:27,233
I'd rather be unhappy
for the rest of my life
72
00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:29,666
than go through something
like that. I can't! I can't!
73
00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:31,666
I've tried to psyche myself up
a million times.
74
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:31,782
I cannot go through that!
75
00:02:31,782 --> 00:02:32,733
I cannot go through that!
76
00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:34,900
All right, take it easy.
Just take it easy.
77
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,533
What about a letter?
78
00:02:38,566 --> 00:02:39,533
A letter?
79
00:02:39,566 --> 00:02:41,733
I write a letter
and then I go to China.
80
00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:46,733
I disappear in a sea of people
for like six months, a year.
81
00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:49,200
You know, just while
things simmer down.
82
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,200
Uh, uh...
83
00:02:50,233 --> 00:02:51,400
"Dear Susan,
84
00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:53,666
I'm sorry." Uh...
85
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,833
"I made a terrible mistake.
86
00:02:55,866 --> 00:02:58,866
I'm really, really sorry."
87
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,266
That's it?
88
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,066
What, too short?
89
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,133
Seems a--
90
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:06,466
BOTH:
Little short.
91
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,300
You can't go to China.
What about your job?
92
00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:10,900
Right. My job!
93
00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:13,633
Write a letter, move to another
borough. Move to Staten Island.
94
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:15,500
It's a lot easier to blend into
a sea of people
95
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,800
in Staten Island than China.
96
00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:20,366
Yeah, yeah.
Staten Island.
97
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,366
What about my clothes?
How do I get the clothes?
98
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,333
Ah, you come back
for your clothes.
99
00:03:24,366 --> 00:03:26,000
I'm not going back in there.
100
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:27,500
So forget about your clothes.
101
00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:30,600
Well, I'm not starting up
a whole new wardrobe now!
102
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:34,300
Look, freedom and no clothes
is a lot better
103
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,900
than no freedom with clothes.
104
00:03:35,933 --> 00:03:37,800
If she would just
take a plane somewhere.
105
00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,933
And what,
hope for a crash?
106
00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:41,833
It happens.
107
00:03:41,866 --> 00:03:43,566
Do you know what
the odds are on a crash?
108
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,900
It's a million to one.
109
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,200
It's something.
110
00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:49,400
It's hope.
111
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,200
Hey. Hey!
Hey.
112
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,333
Georgie, you know
what I just realized?
113
00:03:54,366 --> 00:03:56,833
The wedding is like
a month away.
114
00:03:56,866 --> 00:03:57,900
[LAUGHING]
115
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,566
Ha-ha. Elaine.
116
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,233
What?
Oh, by the way,
117
00:04:01,266 --> 00:04:01,782
what am I gonna get to be
in the wedding party?
118
00:04:01,782 --> 00:04:03,300
what am I gonna get to be
in the wedding party?
119
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:04,733
What do you mean?
120
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,233
Well, Jerry's gonna be
the best man
121
00:04:06,266 --> 00:04:08,533
and Kramer's gonna be the usher.
So, what am I gonna be?
122
00:04:08,566 --> 00:04:10,400
I don't know, I don't think
you're anything.
123
00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:12,833
Well, I have
to be something.
124
00:04:12,866 --> 00:04:14,333
I'm a close friend.
125
00:04:14,366 --> 00:04:16,966
Well...wh-what about
being a bridesmaid?
126
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,400
Well, those are Susan's friends.
127
00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:19,666
[SCOFFS]
128
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:21,966
Well, then how about
being an usher?
129
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,233
All right, I'll--
I'll ask Susan about it later.
130
00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:25,800
You don't ask.
131
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,166
You tell.
132
00:04:30,733 --> 00:04:31,700
What about the letter?
133
00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:31,782
Should I think about the letter?
134
00:04:31,782 --> 00:04:33,166
Should I think about the letter?
135
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,666
Hey, Elaine, if a guy wanted
to end a relationship with you,
136
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:36,933
what could he do?
137
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,266
Start smoking.
138
00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:42,500
Smoking.
139
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,566
Does she hate cigarettes?
140
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,066
Yes, she hates cigarettes.
141
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,633
But you don't smoke.
142
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:47,833
[TSKS]
143
00:04:47,866 --> 00:04:49,833
No-ooh.
144
00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:53,700
You know, I think I'm starting
to get a little depressed
145
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:54,733
about George's wedding.
146
00:04:54,766 --> 00:04:55,900
Really?
147
00:04:55,933 --> 00:04:57,900
Yeah, well,
once he gets married, that's it.
148
00:04:57,933 --> 00:05:00,533
She'll probably get pregnant.
They'll move to Westchester.
149
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:01,566
I'll never see him again.
150
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:01,782
Yeah, you're probably right.
151
00:05:01,782 --> 00:05:03,566
Yeah, you're probably right.
152
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,333
Then it'll be just me,
you and Kramer.
153
00:05:05,366 --> 00:05:06,733
No, not me, pal.
154
00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:08,233
I can't keep this up
much longer.
155
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,400
I'm sick of being single.
I'm getting out.
156
00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:12,366
So it's just gonna be
me and Kramer?
157
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,400
Yeah, just you and Kramer.
158
00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:16,400
See ya.
159
00:05:16,433 --> 00:05:18,066
Huh, me and Kramer.
160
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,366
[♪]
161
00:05:20,066 --> 00:05:22,833
Hey, buddy.
162
00:05:22,866 --> 00:05:26,366
Hey, I thought of
a great invention for driving.
163
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,633
A periscope in a car
so you can see the traffic.
164
00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:31,133
Now, how are you gonna drive
165
00:05:31,166 --> 00:05:31,782
while you're
looking through a periscope?
166
00:05:31,782 --> 00:05:33,700
while you're
looking through a periscope?
167
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:34,900
Besides which,
168
00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,066
it's not a submarine.
169
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,733
There's no room
for a periscope in a car.
170
00:05:37,766 --> 00:05:39,366
Oh, you make a higher roof.
171
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,733
They're not making higher roofs.
172
00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:42,733
Well, why can't you
make a higher roof?
173
00:05:42,766 --> 00:05:45,400
Because it's a stupid idea.
174
00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:47,633
No one's gonna go for it.
Don't you understand?
175
00:05:47,666 --> 00:05:48,900
It's stupid, it's stupid!
176
00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:52,400
Stupid. It's stupid.
177
00:05:53,833 --> 00:05:54,800
Hey, hey, hey, look out!
178
00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:56,066
[HORN HONKS]
179
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,566
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
180
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,466
Yeah, thanks.
181
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:01,782
Oh, my God.
You saved my life.
182
00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:03,633
Oh, my God.
You saved my life.
183
00:06:03,666 --> 00:06:05,866
Shouldn't there be
some kind of reward for that?
184
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,633
Oh, I...
185
00:06:07,666 --> 00:06:09,833
You should be a lot more careful
crossing the street.
186
00:06:09,866 --> 00:06:11,900
Otherwise you could die,
if that bothers you.
187
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,800
Well, yeah--
188
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:16,000
See? To me,
this is a waste.
189
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:18,300
What?
The shirt you got on
under your sweater.
190
00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,566
It sits in a drawer for
three weeks waiting to come out
191
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,800
and when it finally does,
192
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,800
it only sticks up half an inch
out of your collar.
193
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:25,166
I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
194
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,233
Jeannie Steinman.
195
00:06:26,266 --> 00:06:28,400
Hey, same initials.
How do you like that?
196
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:29,766
I like it.
197
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:31,782
GEORGE:
Listen, I was talking
198
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:32,866
GEORGE:
Listen, I was talking
199
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,966
to Elaine today, and she said
200
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,766
that she would really like
to be an usher at the wedding.
201
00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:40,566
No, out of the question.
202
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,866
I don't want any women ushers
at my wedding.
203
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,233
And while we're on the subject,
Kramer's not an usher either.
204
00:06:46,266 --> 00:06:47,233
Why not?
205
00:06:47,266 --> 00:06:49,133
He doesn't even know my name.
206
00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:51,166
Oh. That was an honest mistake.
No.
207
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,666
He's too weird.
208
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,000
He'd fall or something.
He'd ruin the whole ceremony.
209
00:06:56,366 --> 00:06:58,666
Yeah, you're, uh...
You're probably right.
210
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:02,900
What are you doing?
211
00:07:06,566 --> 00:07:08,266
Since when do you smoke?
212
00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,133
[COUGHING]
213
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:11,900
I've always smoked.
214
00:07:11,933 --> 00:07:13,833
I've never seen you smoke.
215
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:17,066
Oh, yeah, well, big smoker.
216
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:20,033
I gave it up for a while,
but it was too tough.
217
00:07:20,066 --> 00:07:21,033
You know...
218
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,033
[COUGHING]
219
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,866
...I don't got the willpower.
220
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,566
Oh, I don't like this one bit.
221
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,500
Well, I can't stop now.
222
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:31,782
[GASPING]
I'm addicted.
They got a hold on me.
223
00:07:31,782 --> 00:07:34,566
[GASPING]
I'm addicted.
They got a hold on me.
224
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,566
Well, you are gonna
have to quit.
225
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,433
Oh, God.
226
00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:43,400
WOMAN:
Menus?
227
00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:44,400
No, I know what I want.
228
00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:45,866
The usual?
Yeah.
229
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,000
And for you?
230
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,566
A bowl of Cheerios,
not too much milk.
231
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,433
Okay, two bowls of Cheerios.
232
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,566
You too?
233
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:55,666
Yeah.
234
00:07:57,666 --> 00:08:00,633
Hey, did you hear
the bank on the corner
235
00:08:00,666 --> 00:08:01,782
is offering $100
if you go in there
236
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:02,900
is offering $100
if you go in there
237
00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:04,633
and they don't greet you
with a hello?
238
00:08:04,666 --> 00:08:06,566
Oh, really?
That's nice.
239
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,633
Come on.
What's with you?
240
00:08:08,666 --> 00:08:10,433
I think I'm in love.
241
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,466
Oh, come on.
242
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:16,233
No, it's true.
This woman saved my life.
243
00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:18,733
I was crossing the street.
I was almost hit by a car.
244
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,800
And then we talked, and...
245
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,733
The whole thing
just seemed like a dream.
246
00:08:22,766 --> 00:08:26,566
If a guy saved your life,
you'd be in love with him too.
247
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,300
No, no, this woman is different.
She's incredible.
248
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:30,566
She's just like me.
249
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,782
She talks like me.
She acts like me.
250
00:08:31,782 --> 00:08:32,866
She talks like me.
She acts like me.
251
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,966
She even orders cereal
in a restaurant.
252
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,733
We even have
the same initials.
253
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,966
Wait a minute, I just
realized what's going on.
254
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,033
What?
Now I know what
255
00:08:41,066 --> 00:08:43,400
I've been looking for
all these years.
256
00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:44,433
Myself.
257
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,066
I've been waiting
for me to come along.
258
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,333
And now I've swept myself
off my feet!
259
00:08:56,066 --> 00:08:57,800
Will you stop it, man?
260
00:08:57,833 --> 00:08:59,666
You're freakin' me out!
261
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,866
Jeez.
262
00:09:06,233 --> 00:09:07,466
Hey.
Hey.
263
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:09,966
W-w-wait a second,
you didn't say "hello."
264
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,900
Yes, I did.
No. No, you didn't.
265
00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:13,466
Hundred dollars.
I get $100.
266
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:14,900
No, no, I said "hello."
267
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,066
No, no, you said "hey."
268
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,366
Well, "hey" is "hello."
Same thing.
269
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,300
No. The ad said that
the bank's gonna pay $100
270
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,866
if you're not greeted
with a "hello."
271
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,666
You're taking that
much too literally.
272
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,500
Now, sir, do you have
any business to transact?
273
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,900
I wanna speak
with the manager.
274
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:29,166
Well, he's not here right now.
275
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,300
Then I'll be back.
276
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:31,782
ELAINE:
So I'm not gonna be an usher?
277
00:09:31,782 --> 00:09:33,300
ELAINE:
So I'm not gonna be an usher?
278
00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:34,300
GEORGE:
No.
279
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:36,166
So I'm nothing?
280
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,900
Jerry is best man,
281
00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:39,300
Kramer is an usher,
282
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,400
and I am nothing?
283
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,166
Well, Kramer's not an usher
anymore.
284
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,500
What are you talking about?
285
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,500
You've been demoted.
Why?
286
00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:47,700
Because you called her
by the wrong name.
287
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:50,866
But she really looks
like a Lilly.
288
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,200
Jerry.
Hey, Jerry.
289
00:09:53,233 --> 00:09:55,300
Susan says I can't be an usher
at the wedding.
290
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,533
Yeah,
me neither.
291
00:09:56,566 --> 00:09:58,900
Hey, George, I think I wanna
bring a date to the wedding.
292
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,300
Who?
293
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,782
I just met her.
She's incredible.
294
00:10:01,782 --> 00:10:02,033
I just met her.
She's incredible.
295
00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:05,166
Oh, this is great!
296
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,033
Now I'm gonna be stuck
at the singles' table
297
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,566
with all the losers?
298
00:10:10,733 --> 00:10:11,900
You can go with Kramer.
299
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:13,500
No, no, no, no, no.
300
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:16,200
Weddings are a great place
to meet chicks.
301
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:18,066
I have to be unfettered.
302
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,833
All right, do you see
what this is turning into?
303
00:10:21,866 --> 00:10:23,000
Do I need this?
304
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:24,900
I have got to get
out of this thing.
305
00:10:24,933 --> 00:10:26,900
Did you try
the cigarettes?
306
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:28,233
Yeah, they made me sick.
307
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:29,866
All right,
all right.
308
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,666
Let's get down here.
309
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,133
You really wanna get out
of this thing?
310
00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:36,566
Yeah.
311
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,300
All right.
I got two words for you:
312
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:41,900
Pre-nup.
313
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,500
Prenup, what does that mean?
314
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:46,500
Ask her to sign a prenup.
315
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,066
What does that do?
316
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,166
Because most women
317
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,000
when they're asked
to sign a prenup
318
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:53,233
are so offended,
they back out of the marriage.
319
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,233
They are?
320
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:57,233
Elaine?
321
00:10:57,266 --> 00:10:59,400
I wouldn't
sign one.
322
00:11:01,366 --> 00:11:01,782
Prenup.
323
00:11:01,782 --> 00:11:02,800
Prenup.
324
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:05,033
Of course.
325
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,966
Kramer.
326
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,966
Get outta here.
327
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,166
Ha-ha!
328
00:11:13,733 --> 00:11:15,000
Hi.
Hi.
329
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:16,500
Hey, I've been going over
the list.
330
00:11:16,533 --> 00:11:18,166
What about the Drake?
Wanna invite him?
331
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,833
Oh, got to invite
the Drake.
332
00:11:20,866 --> 00:11:22,733
Listen, um...
333
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,833
There's something
that's been on my mind,
334
00:11:24,866 --> 00:11:26,633
and we haven't really
talked about it,
335
00:11:26,666 --> 00:11:28,966
and it's-- It's kind of
important to me.
336
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,700
What is it?
337
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,782
Well, I-I've put a lot
of thought into this,
338
00:11:31,782 --> 00:11:33,666
Well, I-I've put a lot
of thought into this,
339
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:35,500
and I think
that I would like you
340
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:37,666
to sign
a prenuptial agreement.
341
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,466
A prenup?
342
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,100
Yeah.
343
00:11:42,366 --> 00:11:44,866
[SNORTS]
344
00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,200
What's so funny?
345
00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:48,200
[LAUGHING]
346
00:11:48,233 --> 00:11:51,700
You don't have any money.
I make more money than you do.
347
00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:54,033
[LAUGHING]
348
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,366
Yeah, give me the papers,
I'll sign 'em.
349
00:12:00,866 --> 00:12:01,782
A prenup.
350
00:12:01,782 --> 00:12:02,500
A prenup.
351
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:04,933
[SUSAN LAUGHING]
352
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,666
[SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
353
00:12:26,233 --> 00:12:28,200
[CRASH]
KRAMER; Oh, g--!
354
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:29,933
Excuse me.
355
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:35,900
Jerry.
356
00:12:35,933 --> 00:12:36,900
[EXHALES]
357
00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:38,519
Hey, Jeannie.
Hello.
358
00:12:38,519 --> 00:12:39,366
Hey, Jeannie.
Hello.
359
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,533
Remember I told you
about the bank?
Yeah.
360
00:12:41,566 --> 00:12:45,533
Yeah, well, I went in there,
and they said, "Hey."
361
00:12:45,566 --> 00:12:47,533
"Hey" is the same as "hello."
What do you think?
362
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:48,566
It's the same thing.
363
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:52,200
Oh, big surprise.
364
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,233
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
365
00:12:59,366 --> 00:13:01,000
Delivery from
Melody Stationers.
366
00:13:01,033 --> 00:13:02,666
Oh, those are
the invitations.
367
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,666
Just sign here.
368
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,200
Yeah.
369
00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:06,200
[SIGHS]
370
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:07,633
Thank you.
371
00:13:07,666 --> 00:13:08,519
See you later.
372
00:13:08,519 --> 00:13:08,633
See you later.
373
00:13:08,666 --> 00:13:09,633
Oh, these are so cheap.
374
00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:11,133
Hey, don't forget tomorrow.
375
00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:13,833
We're going shopping for rings
so don't make any plans.
376
00:13:13,866 --> 00:13:16,266
And this time
we're not skimping.
377
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:18,466
KRAMER: Hey.
JERRY: Hey.
378
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:20,466
Jeannie left?
379
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,833
She's coming to
my act tonight.
380
00:13:21,866 --> 00:13:24,133
Oh, yeah?
Well, that's nice.
381
00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:27,000
I'm sure that's
right up her alley.
382
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,633
What's with you?
Nothing.
383
00:13:28,666 --> 00:13:30,000
Something on your mind?
No.
384
00:13:30,033 --> 00:13:31,466
Looks like there is.
No.
385
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:33,500
Come on, something's
on your mind. Out with it.
386
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:36,633
I don't like her!
387
00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:38,166
Huh? You don't like her?
388
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:38,519
That's right,
I don't like her.
389
00:13:38,519 --> 00:13:39,500
That's right,
I don't like her.
390
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:42,233
I never liked her
from the get-go.
391
00:13:42,266 --> 00:13:43,333
What's wrong with her?
392
00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:45,000
Everything she thinks,
you think.
393
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:47,566
Everything you think, she
thinks. No, I can't take it.
394
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,900
I can't take it, Jerry.
395
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:51,133
It's too much!
It's too much.
396
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:53,633
Well, if you can't take her,
maybe you can't take me either.
397
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,166
So that's how
it's gonna be?
398
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,800
That's how
it's gonna be.
399
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:59,433
Oh, God help us!
400
00:14:07,566 --> 00:14:08,519
Ugh, awful.
401
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:09,900
Ugh, awful.
402
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,833
[♪]
403
00:14:43,866 --> 00:14:46,700
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
404
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,166
MAN:
Can I help you?
405
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,700
Uh, yeah. I, uh--
406
00:14:57,733 --> 00:15:01,233
I was in here the other day,
and I went up to that teller,
407
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,966
and he didn't say "hello."
408
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,366
Well, then you are
entitled to $100.
409
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,700
That's our policy.
410
00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:08,519
Yeah, but he wouldn't
give me the money.
Mm-hm.
411
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:08,966
Yeah, but he wouldn't
give me the money.
Mm-hm.
412
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,133
Jim, can I see you for a second?
413
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:13,266
Yes, can you give me a minute?
414
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,800
Yeah.
415
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:18,066
He'll, uh...
416
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:19,100
be right over.
417
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:31,766
What is this, oak?
418
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,766
I think it's pine.
419
00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,200
Pine is good.
420
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:38,519
Yeah, pine's okay.
421
00:15:38,519 --> 00:15:39,600
Yeah, pine's okay.
422
00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:44,966
You wanted to see me?
Yeah.
423
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,166
Ahem. Jim, our man here
says, uh...
424
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,300
came in the other day,
you didn't say "hello"?
425
00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,666
No. No, that's not true.
I said "hey."
426
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,866
You know,
like a friendly greeting. "Hey."
427
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:54,966
But that's not "hello."
428
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,800
That's a tough one.
429
00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:58,233
Mm-hm.
430
00:15:58,266 --> 00:16:00,400
You know, let me bring
some other people in on this.
431
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:04,866
Barbara, Jane, Mike,
can I--? Can I see you, please?
432
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,466
How you doing?
433
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:08,519
What's happening?
434
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:09,466
What's happening?
435
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,933
What's up?
436
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,500
Excuse us for just one minute.
437
00:16:13,533 --> 00:16:15,366
Just one minute.
438
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,533
Thanks.
439
00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:23,733
How's it going?
440
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:27,566
Thanks.
Thanks, everybody.
441
00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:32,066
Sir, have a seat.
442
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:38,519
Well, we've discussed this.
Here's the feeling.
443
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:38,666
Well, we've discussed this.
Here's the feeling.
444
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:40,333
Hm.
445
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,866
You got a greeting. It starts
with an H. How's 20 bucks sound?
446
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,600
I'll take it.
All right, sir.
447
00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:04,266
Will you marry me?
448
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:08,519
[THROAT CRACKLES]
449
00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:09,700
[THROAT CRACKLES]
450
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,000
[ALL LAUGHING]
451
00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:21,333
I would like to
propose a toast--
452
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:23,200
Wait a second.
George!
453
00:17:23,233 --> 00:17:25,133
George Costanza,
come in here!
454
00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:26,366
Georgie boy.
455
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,333
George, big news.
I'm gettin' married.
456
00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:30,033
Married? What?
457
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:31,666
September 21st,
first day of autumn.
458
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,233
Leaves changing,
beautiful colors.
459
00:17:33,266 --> 00:17:34,333
All that crap.
460
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:36,066
You see?
I kept up my end of the pact.
461
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,566
Oh, good for you.
And look,
462
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,519
champagne.
Hey.
463
00:17:38,519 --> 00:17:38,966
champagne.
Hey.
464
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,633
To our future wives.
465
00:17:40,666 --> 00:17:41,700
Oh, yeah.
466
00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:43,333
Yeah.
467
00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:49,600
[EXHALES]
468
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,166
JERRY:
Well, this has been
quite a night.
469
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,233
I could sure use
a cup of coffee.
470
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:00,333
Hey,
471
00:18:00,366 --> 00:18:02,133
what's the deal with decaf?
472
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:04,033
How do they get the caffeine
out of there?
473
00:18:04,066 --> 00:18:05,166
And then where does it go?
474
00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,233
I don't know.
475
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:08,519
[GRUNTS]
476
00:18:08,519 --> 00:18:08,900
[GRUNTS]
477
00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:11,433
That's a shame.
478
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:14,900
I'll just have a cup of coffee.
479
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:16,233
Bowl of corn flakes.
480
00:18:17,566 --> 00:18:18,566
More cereal?
481
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,033
That's your third bowl today.
482
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,000
You had it
for breakfast and lunch.
483
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,566
Hey. So, what's the deal
with brunch?
484
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,900
I mean, if it's a combination
of breakfast and lunch,
485
00:18:25,933 --> 00:18:28,833
how come there's no "lupper,"
or no "linner"?
486
00:18:33,866 --> 00:18:35,733
Hey!
487
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:38,519
Frank just called me.
Congratulations.
488
00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:38,566
Frank just called me.
Congratulations.
489
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,900
Thanks. Thanks.
490
00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:41,900
Look, I'm sorry about before.
491
00:18:41,933 --> 00:18:43,866
I mean, I'm sure
I'll learn to like her, Jerry.
492
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,500
Yeah. Yeah.
493
00:18:45,533 --> 00:18:47,600
Come on. Come on.
What's the matter?
494
00:18:49,766 --> 00:18:51,900
[WHIMPERS]
I think I may have
made a big mistake.
495
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,233
Oh, come on.
496
00:18:55,266 --> 00:18:57,733
No, all of a sudden it hit me.
I realized what the problem is.
497
00:18:57,766 --> 00:18:59,900
I can't be
with someone like me.
498
00:18:59,933 --> 00:19:02,233
I hate myself!
499
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,000
If anything,
I need to be with someone
500
00:19:04,033 --> 00:19:05,200
the complete opposite of me.
501
00:19:05,233 --> 00:19:06,800
It's too much,
it's too much, Kramer.
502
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:08,233
I can't take it!
I can't take it!
503
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,666
It's too bad
you got engaged.
504
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:15,166
Yeah, too bad.
505
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,533
[PHONE RINGS]
506
00:19:16,566 --> 00:19:18,633
Hello? Oh, hey, George.
507
00:19:18,666 --> 00:19:20,233
What?
508
00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:21,866
Really?
509
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,300
All right, I'll call Elaine.
We'll meet you down there.
510
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:25,300
What happened?
511
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:26,766
They took Susan
to the hospital.
512
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,366
So she was just lying there?
513
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,566
Yeah.
514
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,900
I wonder
what happened.
515
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:35,033
I don't know.
Oh, uh, there's the doctor.
516
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,000
Excuse me,
are you the husband?
517
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:38,519
Well, not yet. Fiancé.
518
00:19:38,519 --> 00:19:41,400
Well, not yet. Fiancé.
519
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:42,833
Yes. Well,
520
00:19:42,866 --> 00:19:45,066
I'm sorry.
521
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,933
She's...gone.
522
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,200
What's that?
523
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,500
She expired.
524
00:19:57,766 --> 00:19:59,600
Are you sure?
525
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,766
Yes, of course.
526
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,700
So...
527
00:20:05,733 --> 00:20:07,100
she's dead?
528
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:11,000
Yes.
529
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,000
Huh.
530
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,366
Let me ask you...
531
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,900
had she been exposed
to any kind of...
532
00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:22,733
inexpensive...glue?
533
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,066
Why?
534
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,900
We found traces
of a certain toxic adhesive
535
00:20:30,933 --> 00:20:35,066
commonly found
in very low-priced envelopes.
536
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:38,519
Well, she was sending out
our wedding invitations.
537
00:20:38,519 --> 00:20:38,900
Well, she was sending out
our wedding invitations.
538
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:42,400
That's probably
what did it.
539
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:45,333
We were expecting
about 200 people.
540
00:20:48,066 --> 00:20:49,066
Well...
541
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:53,066
Thank you, doctor.
542
00:20:57,933 --> 00:21:01,733
MAN [OVER P.A.]:
Blue team to ICU, please.Blue team, ICU.
543
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:13,200
She's, uh...
544
00:21:13,233 --> 00:21:14,733
gone.
545
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,100
Dead?
546
00:21:19,066 --> 00:21:21,333
I'm...
547
00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:25,033
so sorry, George.
548
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:27,166
Yeah. Me too.
549
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:31,166
Poor Lilly.
550
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,166
Susan.
551
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,333
Susan.
552
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:39,700
How did
it happen?
553
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,300
Apparently the, uh, glue
554
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:44,566
in the wedding invitations
was, uh...
555
00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:47,666
...toxic.
556
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,566
Ah.
557
00:21:50,733 --> 00:21:52,600
Well,
that's weird.
558
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:56,733
So I guess...
559
00:21:56,766 --> 00:21:58,200
you're not
getting married.
560
00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,000
Yeah.
561
00:22:01,766 --> 00:22:03,066
But...
562
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,066
Yeah?
563
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:07,666
Well...
564
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:08,519
now I'm engaged.
565
00:22:08,519 --> 00:22:09,233
now I'm engaged.
566
00:22:09,266 --> 00:22:10,900
Yeah?
567
00:22:10,933 --> 00:22:13,266
Well, I thought
we'd both be getting married.
568
00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:15,566
Hey.
569
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,966
What can I tell you?
570
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,433
All right.
571
00:22:19,866 --> 00:22:22,266
GEORGE:
Come on, let's, uh,
get some coffee.
572
00:22:23,233 --> 00:22:25,800
We had a pact!
573
00:22:25,833 --> 00:22:28,566
[♪]
574
00:22:34,118 --> 00:22:37,585
Uh, yes, I'd like to speak
with Marisa Tomei, please.
575
00:22:39,285 --> 00:22:41,418
Marisa, hi. It's, uh--
576
00:22:41,452 --> 00:22:43,485
It's George Costanza.
577
00:22:43,518 --> 00:22:46,485
I-I'm the short, funny,
quirky bald man
578
00:22:46,518 --> 00:22:48,385
you met a little while ago. Heh.
579
00:22:48,418 --> 00:22:50,985
Yeah, I was just calling
because I wanted you to know
580
00:22:51,018 --> 00:22:53,785
that, uh,
I'm not engaged anymore.
581
00:22:54,852 --> 00:22:56,752
Well, uh, she died.
582
00:22:58,018 --> 00:23:00,785
Toxic glue
from the wedding invitations.
583
00:23:02,085 --> 00:23:02,393
Well, we were expecting
about 200 people.
584
00:23:02,393 --> 00:23:05,252
Well, we were expecting
about 200 people.
585
00:23:05,285 --> 00:23:07,718
Yeah. Anyway, um...
586
00:23:07,752 --> 00:23:10,185
I've got the funeral tomorrow
but, um...
587
00:23:12,018 --> 00:23:14,885
my weekend
is pretty wide open, and...
588
00:23:14,918 --> 00:23:16,218
you know, I was wondering--
589
00:23:16,252 --> 00:23:17,218
[LINE CLICKS]
590
00:23:17,252 --> 00:23:18,818
Hello?
591
00:23:18,852 --> 00:23:20,518
Hello?
39259
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