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1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:03,033
My parents had
two constant arguments
2
00:00:03,066 --> 00:00:05,000
while they were driving,
3
00:00:05,033 --> 00:00:07,833
over either how fast
my father was going,
4
00:00:07,866 --> 00:00:10,233
or how much gas was left
in the tank.
5
00:00:10,266 --> 00:00:12,533
My father had
a standard defense
6
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:14,533
for either one of these.
It was always,
7
00:00:14,566 --> 00:00:16,233
"That's because
you're looking at it
8
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,833
from an angle."
9
00:00:17,866 --> 00:00:19,566
[LAUGHTER]
10
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,666
If you were over here--
11
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,233
it looks from where
you're sitting,
12
00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:24,733
it looks like
I'm doing 90 on empty,
13
00:00:24,766 --> 00:00:26,800
[LAUGHTER]
14
00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:28,800
but that's because you're
over there.
15
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,000
If you were over here,
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,200
If you were over here,
17
00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:32,833
you'd know I'm in the driveway
with a full tank.
18
00:00:38,533 --> 00:00:40,366
JERRY:
So George and I
went up to NBC,
19
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,166
and we told them
the idea for the series,
20
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,966
and now we're just waiting
to sign the contract.
21
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,166
And they liked the idea?
Yeah.
22
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,133
What do you got,
leather seats here?
23
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:48,633
Since when
is George a writer?
24
00:00:48,666 --> 00:00:50,666
What writer?
It's a sitcom.
25
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:51,866
This is so exciting.
26
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,466
When are you
going to sign the contract?
27
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,666
Soon. There's
a couple of problems.
28
00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,666
Jerry, I wanna tell you,
that meal was the worst.
29
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:57,700
What do you expect?
30
00:00:57,733 --> 00:00:58,700
It's airline food.
31
00:00:58,733 --> 00:01:00,300
They give you
that fish.
32
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:02,000
How could you
eat fish on a plane?
33
00:01:02,033 --> 00:01:03,566
Because she puts up
such a big stink
34
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,166
every time I have
a piece of meat.
35
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:05,619
What kind of problems?
36
00:01:05,619 --> 00:01:06,566
What kind of problems?
37
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,333
Well, George doesn't think
$13,000 is enough money.
38
00:01:09,366 --> 00:01:10,866
What? He's not even working.
39
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,000
George is right.
40
00:01:12,033 --> 00:01:14,300
Those people will try
to get away with murder.
41
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:16,166
Believe me,
they're all crooks.
42
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,000
Jerry, I want you
to sign that contract.
43
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,333
We're gonna sign it!
44
00:01:19,366 --> 00:01:20,366
In fact,
George is out
45
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,066
with the woman
from NBC right now.
46
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,633
GEORGE:
So I'm...
47
00:01:24,666 --> 00:01:28,033
I'm afraid we're
gonna have to pass.
48
00:01:28,066 --> 00:01:29,366
You're-- You're passing?
49
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,733
Well, it's much too low.
50
00:01:31,766 --> 00:01:34,233
Are you and Jerry
in complete agreement on this?
51
00:01:34,266 --> 00:01:35,566
[SCOFFS, SNORTS]
52
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:35,619
Yeah, we've talked.
53
00:01:35,619 --> 00:01:36,966
Yeah, we've talked.
54
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,366
I believe I can speak
for the both of us on this.
55
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,866
Because you know
56
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,533
that because this
is your first show,
57
00:01:42,566 --> 00:01:44,233
it's a pretty standard deal.
58
00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:46,033
Standard?
59
00:01:46,066 --> 00:01:47,533
Yeah.
60
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,700
Is Ted Danson's deal standard?
61
00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:51,200
Ted Danson?
62
00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:54,500
The guy from Cheers.
Yeah, I know who he is.
63
00:01:54,533 --> 00:01:56,666
You're not Ted Danson.
64
00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:00,633
I didn't say I was Ted Danson.
65
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:01,700
All right.
66
00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:02,866
I'll tell Russell tomorrow.
67
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,700
You tell Russell.
68
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:05,619
Oh, um, before I forget.
69
00:02:05,619 --> 00:02:07,733
Oh, um, before I forget.
70
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,500
Cuban cigars.
71
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,700
It's a present
from my father.
72
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,733
Do I have to write him
a note or something?
73
00:02:16,766 --> 00:02:18,866
Yeah, I'm sure
he'd appreciate that.
74
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,466
Well, what would I say
in the note?
75
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,700
Oh, you're a writer.
76
00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:22,700
You'll think of something.
77
00:02:22,733 --> 00:02:23,866
Oh.
78
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:24,866
[SNORTS, LAUGHS]
79
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:27,133
Yeah, I'm a writer.
80
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:28,866
I forgot.
81
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:31,666
Were you waiting long
at the gate?
82
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:34,166
Um, I don't even know.
83
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,619
Where's that watch
we bought you?
84
00:02:35,619 --> 00:02:36,633
Where's that watch
we bought you?
85
00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:37,966
Oh, uh...
86
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,333
That's it
for this piece of junk.
87
00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:40,566
I've had it.
88
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,166
Is that the one
your parents gave you?
89
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,166
Yeah,
but it never works.
90
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,300
It's...being fixed.
91
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,666
I got a guarantee
on that watch.
92
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,666
Give it to me.
I'll take it back.
93
00:02:48,700 --> 00:02:50,466
It's at the jeweler.
You send me the bill.
94
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,466
I'm not sending you
the bill.
95
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:53,633
That watch was a gift.
96
00:02:53,666 --> 00:02:55,000
You shouldn't have to
pay for it.
97
00:02:55,033 --> 00:02:57,333
That's 18.50.
98
00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:58,366
Here, I got it.
99
00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,500
What are you
talking about?
100
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:01,333
It's my car.
Let me pay for the gas.
101
00:03:01,366 --> 00:03:02,566
No, no, put it away.
Dad.
102
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,633
Stop it!
I have money. I make money.
103
00:03:04,666 --> 00:03:05,619
Yeah, yeah,
you make money.
104
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,400
Yeah, yeah,
you make money.
105
00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:07,566
You don't think
I make money.
106
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,800
That's what you think,
isn't it?
107
00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:09,900
No, I don't
think that.
108
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:11,500
Yes, you do, that's
what you both think.
109
00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:13,466
I'm paying.
Dad, I'm paying.
110
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,466
Get out of here.
111
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,466
You're not paying.
112
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,466
Now, Jerry, please,
113
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,000
do not do this
to your father.
114
00:03:18,033 --> 00:03:19,666
Over my dead body,
Jerry,
115
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,800
I'm telling you
right now.
116
00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,000
You're not gonna
do it.
117
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:29,466
Boy, you got a lot
of stuff here.
118
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:30,733
Dad,
what are you doing?
119
00:03:30,766 --> 00:03:31,900
Nothing. Nothing.
120
00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:33,800
Leave it.
What about your back?
121
00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:35,566
Morty,
what are you doing?
122
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:35,619
All right. All right.
123
00:03:35,619 --> 00:03:36,566
All right. All right.
124
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:37,966
You come
all the way up here
125
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,033
to see a back specialist,
126
00:03:39,066 --> 00:03:40,700
and you're lifting
heavy suitcases.
127
00:03:41,833 --> 00:03:43,733
Hey, Morty.
128
00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:46,500
Hey, Mr. Kramer!
129
00:03:46,533 --> 00:03:47,866
Good to see you.
130
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,233
Ah, Mrs. Seinfeld.
131
00:03:49,266 --> 00:03:50,233
Hi.
132
00:03:50,266 --> 00:03:52,133
Oh, what happened to you?
133
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,700
Oh, well, some guy kicked me
in the side of the head.
134
00:03:54,733 --> 00:03:55,733
What guy?
135
00:03:55,766 --> 00:03:57,700
Crazy Joe Davola.
136
00:03:57,733 --> 00:03:58,733
Why?
137
00:03:58,766 --> 00:04:00,133
Well, I was having this party,
138
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,133
and I didn't invite him,
139
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:05,166
and then Jerry tipped him off.
140
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:05,619
Why'd you tell
this crazy guy
141
00:04:05,619 --> 00:04:08,233
Why'd you tell
this crazy guy
142
00:04:08,266 --> 00:04:09,900
that Kramer didn't
invite him to his party?
143
00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:12,233
I didn't know
he wasn't invited.
144
00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:15,733
Hey, these are
very comfortable pants.
145
00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:17,866
You know what I paid
for these, Jerry?
146
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,166
So why did you
say anything?
147
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,533
It was a mistake.
148
00:04:20,566 --> 00:04:21,833
They're good
around the house,
149
00:04:21,866 --> 00:04:23,666
and they're good
for outside.
150
00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,400
Are you okay?
151
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,233
Oh, yeah, yeah.
152
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,666
I was a little off last week,
153
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,033
huh, Jerry?
154
00:04:30,066 --> 00:04:31,866
Yeah, but doctor says
it's just a slight concussion.
155
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:34,700
So what's the matter
with this Davola guy?
156
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:35,619
He's got, like,
a chemical imbalance.
157
00:04:35,619 --> 00:04:36,533
He's got, like,
a chemical imbalance.
158
00:04:36,566 --> 00:04:38,366
He needs to be
on medication.
159
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,366
Oh, yeah, yeah.
160
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,366
He's after Jerry now.
161
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:43,133
Kramer...
162
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:44,500
He's what?
163
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:45,666
He's joking.
164
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:46,666
He's after you?
165
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:47,666
No!
166
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:48,666
Why is he after you?
167
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,000
He's not after me.
168
00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:51,000
Morty,
do you hear this?
169
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:52,533
Some crazy guy
is after Jerry.
170
00:04:52,566 --> 00:04:53,966
I'll make a few
phone calls.
171
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,366
Who are you
gonna call?
172
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,800
What are you
worried about?
173
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,000
I want to know what you did
that he's after you.
174
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,200
I didn't do anything.
175
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,700
Well, you must've
done something.
176
00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,400
No, he just doesn't like me.
177
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,233
Doesn't like you?
178
00:05:05,266 --> 00:05:05,619
How could anyone not like you?
179
00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:07,533
How could anyone not like you?
180
00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:09,300
I know. It seems impossible.
181
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,033
Doesn't...doesn't like you.
182
00:05:11,066 --> 00:05:12,366
How could that be?
183
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,566
Ma, I know this may be hard
for you to understand,
184
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:15,733
but I'm sure
185
00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:17,533
there are many people
who do not like me.
186
00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:18,533
[GASPS]
187
00:05:18,566 --> 00:05:21,566
Jerry, don't say that.
188
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:22,566
It's true.
189
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,566
No, it isn't.
190
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,900
It's not true.
191
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,166
You're a wonderful,
wonderful boy.
192
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,233
Everybody likes you.
193
00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:29,666
It's impossible
not to like you.
194
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,533
Impossible. Morty?
195
00:05:31,566 --> 00:05:33,566
Maybe some people don't
like him. I can see that.
196
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,619
Kramer?
197
00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:36,000
Kramer?
198
00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:38,533
Yeah, I like him...
199
00:05:38,566 --> 00:05:40,166
Hey, Jerry,
what time you got?
200
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,700
Uh...I haven't got my watch on.
201
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:44,700
It's being fixed.
202
00:05:44,733 --> 00:05:47,066
When are you
getting it back?
203
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:49,333
Uh...next week.
204
00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:51,033
Next week?
205
00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:54,633
How come
it's taking so long?
206
00:05:54,666 --> 00:05:55,733
Huh?
207
00:05:55,766 --> 00:05:57,333
I said, how come
it's taking so long?
208
00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:59,800
I don't know.
209
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,166
They're backed up.
210
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,400
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
211
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:04,500
Where did you take it?
212
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:07,700
Where did I take it?
213
00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:08,700
Yeah.
214
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:13,966
Where did I take it?
215
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:18,733
Um...to that place
on Columbus and 85th.
216
00:06:18,766 --> 00:06:19,733
Okay?
217
00:06:19,766 --> 00:06:21,833
What, Jimmy Sherman?
218
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:24,633
Yeah.
Yeah.
219
00:06:24,666 --> 00:06:27,233
I know the guy. I take my stuff
in there all the time.
220
00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:29,633
Bet I can get your watch back
by tomorrow morning.
221
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:30,666
No, Kramer,
222
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,500
I don't want you
to say anything to him.
223
00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:33,466
No, I'd be happy to.
224
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:34,633
He's a friend of mine.
225
00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:35,619
I'd like to follow
the regular procedures.
226
00:06:35,619 --> 00:06:37,033
I'd like to follow
the regular procedures.
227
00:06:37,066 --> 00:06:39,033
I don't want
any special treatment.
228
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,900
Hey, I'm gonna get
that watch back for you
229
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,133
by tomorrow, buddy,
you'll see.
230
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,566
Bring me the receipt.
231
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,200
I'll get that too.
232
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:51,933
Be right back.
233
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,133
[WHISPERING]: Look,
there's no watch.
234
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,166
I threw it
235
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,700
in the garbage can
on the street.
236
00:06:58,733 --> 00:07:00,033
It didn't keep good time.
237
00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:02,300
My parents gave it to me,
but I didn't like it,
238
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:03,966
so don't mention it again, okay?
239
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:04,966
Yeah, all right.
All right.
240
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,619
Wait, wait, wait.
241
00:07:05,619 --> 00:07:06,400
Wait, wait, wait.
242
00:07:06,433 --> 00:07:07,866
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
243
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:14,066
What was that about?
244
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,566
Oh, no.
245
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,666
He's got my calamine lotion...
246
00:07:20,866 --> 00:07:23,066
And I told him not to return it.
247
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,700
If he needs it,
he should keep it.
248
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:27,366
He's got a thing on his...ankle.
249
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,866
How could anyone not like him?
250
00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:43,700
Hi. Morty Seinfeld.
251
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:45,466
I have a 2:00 appointment.
252
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,700
Yes, Mr. Seinfeld. Would you
please fill this out.
253
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,033
All this?
254
00:07:50,066 --> 00:07:51,666
This whole thing?
255
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,400
It's gonna take me 45 minutes.
256
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,533
I know.
It's very long.
257
00:07:57,866 --> 00:07:58,966
Look at this.
258
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,500
It's a book.
259
00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:02,866
"Employer's address."
260
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,666
Why do they need this?
261
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:05,619
You know, I never had
a back problem
262
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:06,233
You know, I never had
a back problem
263
00:08:06,266 --> 00:08:09,000
until that night I slept
on the convertible sofa.
264
00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:11,300
My back was fine.
265
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,200
Oh, it's not the sofa.
266
00:08:13,233 --> 00:08:14,466
You stick up
for that sofa
267
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:15,833
like I'm criticizing
a person.
268
00:08:15,866 --> 00:08:18,000
We got it
from Sullivan's.
269
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,333
It's a good store.
270
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,533
Well, one day,
271
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,000
somebody's gonna sleep
on that thing,
272
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:24,033
and we'll get sued.
273
00:08:24,066 --> 00:08:26,066
I hope this doctor
knows what he's doing.
274
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,733
Leo says
he's the best there is.
275
00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:30,300
Leo.
276
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,000
I'm listening
to Leo now.
277
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,000
You're lucky he was able
to get you this appointment.
278
00:08:34,033 --> 00:08:35,619
You know what the waiting list
is for this guy?
279
00:08:35,619 --> 00:08:36,000
You know what the waiting list
is for this guy?
280
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,500
Well, if he fixes
my back,
281
00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:38,966
I'll be happy.
282
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,233
"Have you ever had
283
00:08:40,266 --> 00:08:43,366
a sexually
transmitted disease?"
284
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,333
That's it.
285
00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:47,733
Here. You got my name.
286
00:08:47,766 --> 00:08:49,066
You got my address.
287
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,633
That's enough.
288
00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:52,500
Julie...
289
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,233
you wanna
take him back?
290
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,533
JERRY:
You what?
291
00:08:59,566 --> 00:09:00,566
You passed?
292
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,400
How could you do that?
293
00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:05,266
Jerry,
my young friend...
294
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:08,800
You're so naive.
295
00:09:08,833 --> 00:09:11,866
You are so, so naive.
296
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,866
You know about a few things.
297
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,133
You know about comedy,
298
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:16,966
a little bit
about relationships,
299
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,300
some baseball,
300
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:20,333
but you are so far
out of your element here,
301
00:09:20,366 --> 00:09:21,700
you're embarrassing yourself.
302
00:09:21,733 --> 00:09:23,366
Now, listen to me.
303
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,733
I'm negotiating.
304
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:26,244
Negotiation.
305
00:09:26,244 --> 00:09:26,733
Negotiation.
306
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,066
This is what you do
in business.
307
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,400
Let me explain to you
what you just did.
308
00:09:31,433 --> 00:09:33,400
There are literally
hundreds of people
309
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,566
trying to get
pilot deals
310
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,566
with them this year.
311
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,066
They go with maybe five, okay?
312
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,300
If we pass, that's it.
313
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:42,733
They go to the next show.
314
00:09:42,766 --> 00:09:46,833
Ooh, I'm scared.
315
00:09:46,866 --> 00:09:50,233
Oh, they're not
gonna do the show.
316
00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:51,633
We're lucky
317
00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:53,200
they're even interested
in the idea
318
00:09:53,233 --> 00:09:54,200
in the first place.
319
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,244
We got a show
about nothing...
320
00:09:56,244 --> 00:09:58,233
We got a show
about nothing...
321
00:09:58,266 --> 00:09:59,533
with no story.
322
00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,166
What do you think,
they're up there going,
323
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,466
"Hey, maybe we should give
those two guys
324
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,000
"who have no experience
and no idea
325
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:07,366
more money"?
326
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,866
Oh, what are we gonna do?
327
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:12,466
I'm shaking.
328
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,366
I'm shaking.
329
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,666
Well, I think you're wrong.
330
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:17,033
Well, we'll just see.
Yes, we will.
331
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:18,066
Yes, we will.
332
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,700
I just said that.
I know you did.
333
00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:21,300
So good for you.
So good for you.
334
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:22,700
What, are you repeating
everything I'm saying?
335
00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:24,066
What, are you repeating
everything I'm saying?
336
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,244
Well, George is an idiot.
Well, Geor--
337
00:10:26,244 --> 00:10:26,333
Well, George is an idiot.
Well, Geor--
338
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,066
All right.
339
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,533
All right, let's go already!
340
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:41,133
They keep you in here a year.
341
00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:43,200
They don't give a damn.
342
00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:45,000
I could die in here.
343
00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:48,400
Excuse me.
344
00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:49,566
Excuse me.
345
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,833
What's going on?
346
00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:51,833
I'm here 20 minutes.
347
00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:53,166
Can somebody please help me?
348
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,533
Shh!
349
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,166
Quiet. Everyone can hear you.
350
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:56,244
Twenty minutes,
I've been waiting 20 minutes.
351
00:10:56,244 --> 00:10:57,833
Twenty minutes,
I've been waiting 20 minutes.
352
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,666
Well, the doctor must be busy.
353
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,333
Well, then, what do they
make appointments for
354
00:11:01,366 --> 00:11:03,400
if they can't keep them?
355
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:05,166
Look, if I did that
in my business,
356
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,066
I wouldn't have made a nickel.
357
00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:11,366
Hello,
Mr. Seinfeld.
358
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,700
I thought you forgot about me.
359
00:11:12,733 --> 00:11:14,533
We didn't forget.
360
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:15,733
[VELCRO RIPS, MORTY SCREAMS]
361
00:11:15,766 --> 00:11:16,733
What?
362
00:11:16,766 --> 00:11:18,000
The Velcro.
363
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,333
I can't stand Velcro,
that tearing sound.
364
00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:22,366
I used to be
in raincoats.
365
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,533
I refused to put that
in any of my lines.
366
00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:25,866
Okay, Mr. Seinfeld,
367
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:26,244
please come this way.
368
00:11:26,244 --> 00:11:26,866
please come this way.
369
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:27,833
We need some X-rays.
370
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:31,133
Leave all my stuff here?
371
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,566
Leave it.
372
00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:37,133
Oh, hey,
373
00:11:37,166 --> 00:11:38,500
by the way,
374
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:42,000
you want a box of Cuban cigars?
375
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,133
I smoked one
last night.
376
00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,966
I got nauseous.
377
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,533
No, I don't want them.
378
00:11:48,566 --> 00:11:49,966
I'll take it.
379
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:50,966
No, I'll take it.
380
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,733
What is it?
381
00:11:52,766 --> 00:11:53,733
Here you go.
382
00:11:53,766 --> 00:11:54,733
What, cigars?
383
00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:56,244
Yeah. Cubans.
Oh, yeah?
384
00:11:56,244 --> 00:11:56,400
Yeah. Cubans.
Oh, yeah?
385
00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:57,966
Yeah, the kind
that Castro smoked.
386
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,133
You can't buy them
anywhere.
387
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,733
Castro, huh?
388
00:12:00,766 --> 00:12:02,600
[IMITATES SPANISH]
389
00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:10,033
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
390
00:12:10,066 --> 00:12:11,033
Yeah?
391
00:12:11,066 --> 00:12:12,033
WOMAN:
Federal Express.
392
00:12:12,066 --> 00:12:13,466
Federal Express?
393
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,233
Come on up.
394
00:12:15,266 --> 00:12:17,233
Federal Express?
I'm not expecting a package.
395
00:12:17,266 --> 00:12:18,500
[SIGHS]
396
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:19,800
You know what you just did?
397
00:12:19,833 --> 00:12:21,500
You let a burglar
in the building.
398
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,200
You think so?
399
00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:25,000
Federal Express? Of course.
400
00:12:25,033 --> 00:12:26,244
That's the oldest trick
in the book.
401
00:12:26,244 --> 00:12:26,400
That's the oldest trick
in the book.
402
00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:28,000
You know,
it might not be a burglar.
403
00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:29,500
It could be a murderer.
404
00:12:29,533 --> 00:12:32,733
So you wanna just abolish
all home package delivery?
405
00:12:32,766 --> 00:12:34,400
Yes.
406
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:35,400
It's dangerous.
407
00:12:35,433 --> 00:12:36,566
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
408
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,033
Wait.
409
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:44,700
Who is it?
410
00:12:44,733 --> 00:12:45,800
WOMAN:
Federal Express.
411
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,766
Okay...
412
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,000
[ALL SCREAM]
413
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:58,966
I want one of those.
414
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,566
Kramer!
415
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,300
Oh, God!
416
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,900
I thought you were
in California.
417
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,200
Well, I came back
for you.
418
00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:07,300
Oh, shut up.
419
00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,366
I missed you.
420
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,566
Really,
you missed me?
421
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,733
Yeah, seriously.
422
00:13:10,766 --> 00:13:11,733
Yeah, yeah.
Me too, miss.
423
00:13:11,766 --> 00:13:13,066
I missed.
424
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,133
Yeah, big missing
going on around here.
425
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:16,900
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna get a match.
426
00:13:16,933 --> 00:13:17,900
Oh, God.
427
00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:18,900
Whose suitcase is this?
428
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:20,133
Oh, it's my parents'.
429
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,900
My father came up
to see a back specialist.
430
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:23,200
Oh, God,
431
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,244
it's probably from sleeping
on that sofa.
432
00:13:26,244 --> 00:13:26,833
it's probably from sleeping
on that sofa.
433
00:13:26,866 --> 00:13:28,666
Boy, you look
really great.
Yeah.
434
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:29,800
You lie.
435
00:13:29,833 --> 00:13:31,333
No, no, you really look great.
436
00:13:31,366 --> 00:13:32,333
[LAUGHS]
437
00:13:32,366 --> 00:13:33,500
So tell us
about the trip.
438
00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:34,500
How's Dr. Reston?
439
00:13:34,533 --> 00:13:36,333
Oh, he's fine.
440
00:13:36,366 --> 00:13:37,500
Things are good?
441
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,500
Yeah. You know.
442
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:41,000
Uh-oh.
443
00:13:41,033 --> 00:13:42,833
What, uh-oh?
444
00:13:42,866 --> 00:13:43,833
Did you see that?
445
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,933
Yeah, I saw it.
446
00:13:46,866 --> 00:13:48,333
What?
447
00:13:48,366 --> 00:13:50,000
It's a tell. You got a tell.
448
00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:51,000
What tell?
449
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:52,366
What's a tell?
450
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,000
When you ask someone
about their relationship,
451
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,400
and they touch their face,
452
00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:56,244
you know
it's not going too well.
453
00:13:56,244 --> 00:13:56,833
you know
it's not going too well.
454
00:13:56,866 --> 00:13:58,833
Go ahead. Ask me how it's going
with somebody.
455
00:13:58,866 --> 00:14:02,566
Um...how's it going with Alice?
456
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,166
Good. Going good...
457
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,033
And the higher up
on the face you go,
458
00:14:08,066 --> 00:14:09,500
the worse the relationship
is getting.
459
00:14:09,533 --> 00:14:11,166
You know, it's, like,
460
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,700
pretty good...not bad...
461
00:14:12,733 --> 00:14:14,733
I gotta get out.
462
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,233
How high did I go?
463
00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:20,833
You almost hit the nose.
464
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,244
What, are you eating
my peanut butter out of the jar
465
00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:26,866
What, are you eating
my peanut butter out of the jar
466
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,200
with your disgusting
index fingers?
467
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,333
This is a sickening display.
468
00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:33,900
What? I'm not eating bread now.
469
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:34,966
I'm off bread.
470
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,366
You're off bread.
471
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,366
So, what happened?
472
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,366
Is it over?
473
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,366
No, not quite.
474
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,533
Why not?
475
00:14:41,566 --> 00:14:43,966
Well, he was my psychiatrist,
you know?
476
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,133
I mean, he knows
all my patterns.
477
00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:47,566
He knows that in relationships
478
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,566
that I always try to find
some reason to leave,
479
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,366
and so he says, as my doctor,
he can't allow me do this,
480
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,000
so he's not letting me leave.
481
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:56,244
What do you mean,
not letting you?
482
00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:57,633
What do you mean,
not letting you?
483
00:14:57,666 --> 00:14:59,833
He has this power over me, okay?
484
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,733
I mean, he has this way
of manipulating
485
00:15:01,766 --> 00:15:03,733
every little word that I say.
486
00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:07,400
He's like a "Svenjolly."
487
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:09,233
"Svengali."
488
00:15:09,266 --> 00:15:10,900
What did I say?
489
00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:12,566
"Svenjolly."
490
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,566
"Svenjolly?"
491
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,200
I did not say "Svenjolly."
492
00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:18,200
George?
"Svenjolly."
493
00:15:20,033 --> 00:15:22,500
I don't see how
I could've said "Svenjolly."
494
00:15:22,533 --> 00:15:25,366
Well, maybe he's got, like,
a cheerful mental hold on you.
495
00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:30,333
You know, I can't find
a match anywhere.
496
00:15:30,366 --> 00:15:31,700
You know what you should do?
497
00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:33,500
You should tell this guy
you're seeing somebody else--
498
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,066
easiest way to get out
of these things.
499
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,800
No, it's not gonna work
with this guy.
500
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:38,000
GEORGE: No,
you just tell him...
501
00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:39,866
an old boyfriend's
come back into your life.
502
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,500
I don't think so.
503
00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:42,500
Nice try.
504
00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:44,366
Took a shot.
505
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,366
It's a good cigar.
506
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:54,533
[SCREAMS]
507
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,533
So when do I get to see
the doctor?
508
00:16:01,566 --> 00:16:02,966
He'll be in
with the X-rays
509
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,533
in a few minutes.
510
00:16:04,566 --> 00:16:06,533
You can get dressed.
511
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,666
He stole my wallet.
512
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:19,666
The bum stole my wallet.
513
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,166
My wallet's gone!
514
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,700
My wallet's gone!
515
00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,500
I had my wallet
in my back pocket.
516
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:26,244
It's gone.
517
00:16:26,244 --> 00:16:26,500
It's gone.
518
00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:28,500
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure.
519
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,900
I went in to get my X-rays.
Somebody takes my wallet.
520
00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:32,033
Is that the operation here?
521
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,033
Mr. Seinfeld,
I'm Dr. Dembrow.
522
00:16:34,066 --> 00:16:35,466
I've been going over
your X-rays.
523
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,900
I'm not interested
in the X-rays.
524
00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:38,533
I want my money back.
525
00:16:38,566 --> 00:16:39,866
Somebody stole
my wallet.
526
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:41,400
I had $225 in there.
527
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,200
I don't see how something
like that could've happened.
528
00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:44,666
Oh, you don't see.
529
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,000
You don't see.
530
00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:47,666
Well, it happened,
believe me.
531
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,000
What's going on?
532
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:50,166
They stole my wallet.
533
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,500
What?
Yeah, while I was
in getting X-rayed.
534
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:53,633
All right,
Mr. Seinfeld,
535
00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:54,966
I am sorry
about your wallet,
536
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,244
but would you like me
to look over these X-rays?
537
00:16:56,244 --> 00:16:57,166
but would you like me
to look over these X-rays?
538
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,966
What kind of clip joint
you running here?
539
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,500
All right. Fine.
540
00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:03,833
The least
you could have done
541
00:17:03,866 --> 00:17:05,133
was heard
your diagnosis.
542
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:06,700
I'm not interested
in his diagnosis.
543
00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:08,033
He's a bum.
544
00:17:08,066 --> 00:17:10,166
You came all the way
from Florida to see him.
545
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,366
I wanna know what kind
of an office is this
546
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,700
where you can't leave
your pants in the room.
547
00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,266
You tell me.
548
00:17:18,866 --> 00:17:20,200
I'm sorry,
549
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:22,633
but there's somebody else.
550
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,066
Mm-hmm.
551
00:17:26,666 --> 00:17:29,533
Well, it's nothing
I planned on happening,
552
00:17:29,566 --> 00:17:30,533
you know?
553
00:17:30,566 --> 00:17:32,033
It just kind of happened.
554
00:17:32,066 --> 00:17:34,000
Tell me about him.
555
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,333
Well...
556
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:37,033
There's not really much to tell,
you know?
557
00:17:37,066 --> 00:17:39,166
He's just a guy, really.
558
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,466
Yes, well,
I assume he's a guy...
559
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,900
Right.
560
00:17:42,933 --> 00:17:44,333
And you've known him
how long?
561
00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:47,666
Years...
562
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,200
Many years.
563
00:17:49,233 --> 00:17:50,566
We've been close friends,
564
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,400
and then recently,
something just, you know--
565
00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:55,966
Ahh-- happened.
566
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:56,244
You mean sexually?
567
00:17:56,244 --> 00:17:57,666
You mean sexually?
568
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,666
Yeah. Yeah.
569
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,600
Sexually.
570
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,900
[TELEPHONE BUZZES]
571
00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:11,466
I think your, um...
572
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,333
Excuse me.
573
00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:14,333
Yes?
574
00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:18,066
Oh, yes, Bobo.
575
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,400
No, it's just east of Madison.
576
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,133
Around four would be fine.
577
00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:23,166
All right, Bobo.
578
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,100
See you then.
579
00:18:26,766 --> 00:18:27,900
I'm sorry.
580
00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:29,233
Where were we?
581
00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:33,833
Well, I was just telling you
about this other guy.
582
00:18:33,866 --> 00:18:34,833
Elaine.
583
00:18:34,866 --> 00:18:35,833
Yeah?
584
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,300
Do you remember your dream
585
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:40,200
where you had a sexual encounter
with a Chinese woman?
586
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:44,666
Yeah.
587
00:18:46,279 --> 00:18:47,312
[COUGHS]
588
00:18:47,345 --> 00:18:48,312
Mm-hmm.
589
00:18:48,345 --> 00:18:50,412
Elaine, I'm concerned about you.
590
00:18:50,445 --> 00:18:51,779
Oh, no, no, no, no.
591
00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:54,412
Don't concern yourself with me,
because I'm good.
592
00:18:54,445 --> 00:18:55,412
I'm very good.
593
00:18:55,445 --> 00:18:56,244
I mean,
I'm really very, very good.
594
00:18:56,244 --> 00:18:58,412
I mean,
I'm really very, very good.
595
00:18:58,445 --> 00:19:00,812
Elaine...
596
00:19:00,845 --> 00:19:02,779
Have you been urinating
a lot again?
597
00:19:08,445 --> 00:19:09,745
No.
598
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:13,412
And how often
have you been seeing, um...
599
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,412
I'm sorry.
600
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,745
What is his name?
601
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,745
His name?
602
00:19:16,779 --> 00:19:17,912
Yes. His name.
603
00:19:17,945 --> 00:19:19,979
Well, what's the difference?
604
00:19:20,012 --> 00:19:21,812
Are you afraid
to tell me his name?
605
00:19:21,845 --> 00:19:24,979
No, no, I just don't really see
how that's relevant.
606
00:19:25,012 --> 00:19:26,244
It doesn't matter
if you don't see how.
607
00:19:26,244 --> 00:19:26,579
It doesn't matter
if you don't see how.
608
00:19:26,612 --> 00:19:27,579
I see how.
609
00:19:28,779 --> 00:19:31,079
Uh, his name.
610
00:19:31,112 --> 00:19:32,412
I don't even know.
611
00:19:32,445 --> 00:19:33,812
All right,
you wanna know his name?
612
00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:34,812
I'll tell you his name.
613
00:19:34,845 --> 00:19:38,012
His name is...Kramer.
614
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,579
Kramer.
615
00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:43,645
Is that his first name
or his last name?
616
00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:45,045
You know,
617
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:47,545
I'm really uncomfortable
talking about this.
618
00:19:47,579 --> 00:19:49,312
Elaine, I want you
to do me a favor.
619
00:19:49,345 --> 00:19:50,312
What?
620
00:19:50,345 --> 00:19:52,145
I want you to tell
this young man
621
00:19:52,179 --> 00:19:53,379
to give me a call.
622
00:19:53,412 --> 00:19:54,945
It's very important
that I speak to him.
623
00:19:54,979 --> 00:19:56,244
Oh, no, no, no,
I can't do that.
624
00:19:56,244 --> 00:19:56,745
Oh, no, no, no,
I can't do that.
625
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,545
You can do it,
and you will do it.
626
00:19:58,579 --> 00:19:59,545
No, I can't.
627
00:19:59,579 --> 00:20:01,845
You can, and you will.
628
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:05,379
Okay, okay,
629
00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,412
I'll have Kramer
give you a call.
630
00:20:09,979 --> 00:20:11,745
So you didn't even let
the doctor treat you?
631
00:20:11,779 --> 00:20:13,645
I wouldn't give him
the satisfaction.
632
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,045
Why did you leave
your wallet in your pants?
633
00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:17,245
What are you
talking about?
634
00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:19,245
What, was I supposed to
hide it somewhere?
635
00:20:19,279 --> 00:20:20,479
You could've
taken it with you.
636
00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:22,645
Oh, yeah. I'll be lying
on an X-ray table
637
00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,979
with my wallet
in my mouth.
638
00:20:25,012 --> 00:20:26,244
Hello.
639
00:20:26,244 --> 00:20:26,812
Hello.
640
00:20:26,845 --> 00:20:27,812
Hello.
641
00:20:27,845 --> 00:20:28,945
Hi, Uncle Leo.
642
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:32,779
I just spoke
to Dr. Dembrow's son.
643
00:20:32,812 --> 00:20:34,945
He said they almost had to call
the police.
644
00:20:34,979 --> 00:20:36,279
What are you
talking about?
645
00:20:36,312 --> 00:20:37,879
I'm the one who should've
called the police.
646
00:20:37,912 --> 00:20:39,112
They stole my wallet.
647
00:20:39,145 --> 00:20:40,879
You know
how hard it was for me
648
00:20:40,912 --> 00:20:42,212
to get
that appointment for you?
649
00:20:42,245 --> 00:20:44,479
You can't just walk in
on this guy.
650
00:20:44,512 --> 00:20:46,045
He did me
a personal favor...
651
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,279
All right, Leo.
652
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,279
And you walked out
without paying.
653
00:20:49,312 --> 00:20:50,479
How was I
supposed to pay?
654
00:20:50,512 --> 00:20:52,112
I didn't have
my wallet.
655
00:20:52,145 --> 00:20:54,745
Well, I hope
you send him a check.
656
00:20:54,779 --> 00:20:56,145
What for?
657
00:20:56,179 --> 00:20:56,244
What for?
658
00:20:56,244 --> 00:20:57,212
What for?
659
00:20:57,245 --> 00:20:59,579
This man was nice enough
to see you.
660
00:20:59,612 --> 00:21:01,745
He did me
a personal favor.
661
00:21:01,779 --> 00:21:04,445
That's the second time
you said personal favor.
662
00:21:04,479 --> 00:21:05,745
Why do you keep
saying that?
663
00:21:05,779 --> 00:21:06,945
I said it once.
664
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:08,279
Twice...
665
00:21:08,312 --> 00:21:10,279
and Dembrow doesn't
even know you.
666
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,112
His son happens to live
on your floor.
667
00:21:14,445 --> 00:21:18,079
Leo, where did you
get that watch?
668
00:21:18,112 --> 00:21:21,145
You know
where I got this?
669
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:25,412
I found it in the garbage can.
670
00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:26,244
It kept terrible time.
671
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:27,279
It kept terrible time.
672
00:21:27,312 --> 00:21:28,712
I brought it over
to Jimmy Sherman
673
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:31,412
right here
on 85th and Columbus.
674
00:21:31,445 --> 00:21:33,279
Gave it to me back
the next day.
675
00:21:33,312 --> 00:21:34,879
Works great.
676
00:21:34,912 --> 00:21:36,279
What kind of an idiot
677
00:21:36,312 --> 00:21:39,379
throws away
a perfectly good watch?
678
00:21:39,412 --> 00:21:41,912
Doesn't that watch look
like the one that we gave Jerry?
679
00:21:41,945 --> 00:21:42,912
Hey,
where's the waiter?
680
00:21:42,945 --> 00:21:44,045
Dad, what do you say,
681
00:21:44,079 --> 00:21:45,245
we have some
red meat tonight?
682
00:21:45,279 --> 00:21:46,445
Let's live a little.
683
00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:48,912
Let's see that.
684
00:21:48,945 --> 00:21:51,512
Could we continue this
another time?
685
00:21:57,279 --> 00:21:59,412
Don't you hate
"to be continueds" on TV?
686
00:21:59,445 --> 00:22:02,579
It's horrible when you sense
the "to be continued" coming,
687
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:03,579
you know?
688
00:22:03,612 --> 00:22:04,579
You're watching the show.
689
00:22:04,612 --> 00:22:05,779
You're into the story.
690
00:22:05,812 --> 00:22:07,079
Then there's, like,
five minutes left,
691
00:22:07,112 --> 00:22:08,079
and suddenly you realize,
692
00:22:08,112 --> 00:22:10,945
"Hey, they can't make it.
693
00:22:10,979 --> 00:22:13,379
"Timmy's still stuck
in the cave.
694
00:22:13,412 --> 00:22:16,245
There's no way they wrap this up
in five minutes."
695
00:22:16,279 --> 00:22:18,579
I mean, the whole reason
you watch a TV show
696
00:22:18,612 --> 00:22:20,445
is because it ends.
697
00:22:20,479 --> 00:22:22,812
If I wanted a long, boring story
with no point to it,
698
00:22:22,845 --> 00:22:25,645
I have my life.
699
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:26,244
A comedian can't do that.
700
00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:26,645
A comedian can't do that.
701
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:27,979
See, I can't go,
702
00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:30,379
"A man walks into a bar
with a pig under his arm.
703
00:22:30,412 --> 00:22:32,312
Can you come back next week?"
46195
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