All language subtitles for The.Big.Bang.Theory.S11E04.The.Explosion.Implosion.720p.Bluray.x264.pahe

It feels like it wasn't that long ago

we were here doing this for Halley.

'Cause it wasn't.

Which reminds me, before we leave,
let's get you a vasectomy.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Well, that's sweet,
but today's all about you.

So, you two ready to find out
the sex of this baby?

- Yeah.
- Absolutely.

Is Halley hoping for a little brother
or a little sister?

Well, she's nine months old.

So unless it jingles or is in my bra,
she doesn't care.

And how about you two?

You know, (SIGHS) for the first one,
we really wanted a girl,

but this time around
we don't have a preference.

Yeah. Boy, girl,
as long as it's healthy.

Well, it's a boy.

- Huh.
- Oh.

Oh, come on,
you can't really be disappointed.

Hey, I barely know
how to be a man myself.

Now I have to teach someone?

As the saying goes,
those who can't do, teach.

Don't you want
a little version of Howard?

I already have
a little version of Howard.

(SIGHS)

Now, I'm having a son?

I'll have to teach him
how to play sports

and watch sports and...

And, and, and, and... (STUTTERS)

He just ran out of man things.
He's in trouble.

It's okay. We're all here to help.

Yes, and this baby will have
plenty of manly role models.

Now, I'm certain that whatever
Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.

Uh, she can pee into a bottle.

Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck
wider than a nickel.

Howie, there's a lot of amazing things
you can teach a son.

Yeah, you do always know
how to pick just the right antacid.

I don't know if I can teach that.
It's just something I was born with.

Come on. You can build things.
You were an astronaut.

That's true. You know, as a kid
I used to make model rockets.

That'd be pretty cool to do with a son.

Model rockets!
Finally! Something interesting.

What is your preferred mode of recovery?

Sheldon, we're helping our friends.

Yeah, and we got to model rockets.

That was a tedious road,
but well worth the effort.

So, have you thought of any names?

Amy! We finally got to model rockets!

Why are you turning back?

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

- Hey, where you going?
- Back to the dry cleaner.

Look at this. They didn't get the stain
out of my Starfleet uniform.

Well, if you didn't make me wear
the green body paint in bed,

you wouldn't have to
get it dry cleaned so much.

Nah, it's worth it.

(SKYPE RINGTONE)

Hey, wait. It's your mom.

Uh-oh, too bad she just missed me.

Hey, Beverly.

Oh, hello, Penny.

Uh, Leonard just left. He's going to be
so upset he missed your call.

Why?

Because he--

Yeah, I don't know. How are you?

Did you mean personally
or professionally?

Um, personally.
Like, what'd you do last night?

I had Cuban food at the home of a man

with whom I shared
unsatisfying intercourse.

Wow. Okay.

And to anticipate your next questions,

roasted pork and sideways missionary.

Sure, sure. 'Cause you were full.

I haven't looked
at all this stuff in years.

Had it. Had it.

Burned down my garage with it.

I had three model rockets as a kid.

And that was the largest
space program in India.

You have a replica Saturn V?

Yeah. My dad bought it
before he, you know,

abandoned our family.

Lucky duck.

Could never bring myself
to open it without him. (CHUCKLES)

It's silly.

No, it's not silly. I always wanted
my dad to build rockets with me

but he wasn't interested.

Ah, yes. Disappointing fathers.

Tell me about it.

I remember for my 16th birthday,
my clad bought me a Mercedes,

like, a little one, like,
a starter Mercedes.

He had barely handed me the keys
before he had to rush back to work.

I didn't see him again till, like,

pretty late that night.

Anyway,

as angry as I was with him leaving,

building this stuff is probably
what led me to become an engineer.

I suppose, in his own way,

my dad also encouraged me
to pursue science.

I mean, he is the one that taught me
that flatulence is combustible.

And also, polyester gym shorts
don't burn.

They melt.

Yeah, I guess
I'm an astrophysicist because

as a kid I said
I like to look at the stars

so my dad sent me to Hawaii
to visit the Keck telescope.

(RAJESH SCOFFS)

Screw you, my pain is real.

You know what? Forget the past.

What do you say
you and me build this rocket?

That sounds like it could be
a real bonding experience for us.

Right?

Oh, I see. You think that's a positive.

So you didn't want to hang out
with Sheldon and Howard?

No, they were bonding over
their sad childhoods

and my stupid parents
were always there for me.

What's all this?

I'm just boxing up all the clothes
Halley's outgrown.

Guess we won't need 'em anymore.

Whoa, wha-- slow it down. I'm sure
there's some you could reuse for a boy.

"Daddy's little girl"?

Okay, well, what if we, uh,
change it to say,

"Daddy's little girl magnet"?

Boom! Boy shirt.

What about this?

Uh, okay. Pull off the skirt,

slap a lightning bolt on the front
and you got Baby Flash.

Ooh, stick a long sleeve under it.
Boom! Baby Sheldon. (CHUCKLES)

Wow, you're really good at this.

Oh, please. This isn't my first time
turning girl clothes into boy clothes.

Why? You got your sister's
hand-me-downs?

Yeah. That.

Oh, I should've brought peanuts.

You can't eat peanuts, you're allergic.

If you die,
who's going to drive me home?

No, I'm not gonna eat them,
it's a thing they do at JPL.

When the Ranger Mission
finally had a successful launch,

there were peanuts in the room.
Ever since then,

they have them at every launch.

That sounds like a silly superstition.

It's more of a tradition.
(SIGHS)

Oh! I do love a tradition.

Could you pull over
at the next peanut store?

I don't think that's a real thing.

Oh, don't be pedantic,
any nut store will do.

Uh, I don't think we can get
peanuts out here.

Well, then this whole day's ruined.

Now that I think about it,
maybe it is more of a superstition.

Phew, that was close.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Oh, hey, Beverly,
you called my phone, not Leonard's.

Actually, I was hoping
to speak with you.

Is this a good time?

Uh, that depends.
What time is it where you are?

Just after 5:00.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah, that counts. What's up?

Well, I enjoyed our conversation
the other day

and I was hoping to continue it.

Really?

BEVERLEY:
Yes. You may find this surprising,

but I don't have a lot of
what you would call "girlfriends."

(SARCASTICALLY) What?

Of course,
there are my female colleagues,

but they're all Freudians,

so the only boy
that I can dish about is my father.

(LAUGHS)

Well, you know, I'm here for you.
What do you wanna talk about?

Well, last time we focused on my life.

If we're going to be real girlfriends,
we should talk about you as well.

Well, you know,
if we're going to be real girlfriends,

we should get a third girl
we can trash behind her back.

Oh, so we'd be catty.

I like it.

What about Sheldon's fiancée?
She seems a bit dour.

Ooh, "Dour." Meow.

All right, here we go.

L-minus ten, nine--

Wait, what are you doing? It's T-minus.

I was an astronaut, we used L-minus.

Yeah, but this is a Saturn V

and when they launched those,
they said T-minus.

It's my rocket, we're doing it my way.

Fine.

I'm not saying I know why your dad left

but I think I'm getting an idea.

L-minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six--

'Cause you're kind of bossy.

(SIGHS)

Five, four, three, two, one.

Yeah, I remember them going up higher.

Well, that's perfect.

I mean, the one thing
I thought I could (SIGHS)

do with my son,
I can't even do that right.

If you wanna see it again,
I got it on video.

Looks pretty cool in slow motion.

(SIGHS)

Thank you for your support.

- You're welcome.
- I was being sarcastic.

How dare you.

Sheldon, what am I gonna do?

What do I know
about raising a boy?

What do you know about raising a girl?

Oh, my God, you're right.

Well, I don't know
if that was sarcasm or not, so,

either you're welcome, or hey!

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Leonard, did you really
just text me from the couch

to put extra mustard on your sandwich?

I was worried
you might not check your e-mail.

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

I swear to God I will throw this out.

That one was not me.

Oh, wait, it's just your mom.

My mother's texting you?

Yeah, we've been talking a lot lately.

Why?

Is she sick of talking
to the magic mirror on the wall?

No, I think she's lonely.
She's been reaching out.

Okay, just be careful.

You think you're getting close to her,
the next thing you know,

you're featured in a book called

He's Doing It On Purpose:
Raising a Teenage Bedwetter.

No, it's not like that.

You know, she's been opening up
about her life

and she's actually been
really supportive about mine.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I've been telling her about my job
and she said she was proud of me.

That's great.

Never told me she was proud of me.

Even when I stayed dry
for a whole month.

Do you not want me
to be friends with your mom?

Well, the-- Let's be clear,
(STUTTERS) I married you to hurt her.

You're kinda ruining it.

Reason number 13 to feel good.

(STUTTERS) As a launch, it was bad,

but as an explosion, it was glorious.

Reason 14,

you still have all your fingers

and boys prefer a dad with fingers.

Thanks for trying, but you're not gonna
be able to cheer me up.

Well, how about this, then?

You quit your whining before I give you
something to cry about, young man.

(SCOFFS)

What?

Those are comforting words
my father would often say.

Did it help?

I turned out great. You tell me.

Let's get going.

Are you gonna be this mopey
all the way home?

I don't know. Maybe.

There any chance you'd be cheered up
by an amazing trigonometry riddle?

(SIGHS)

Well, if you can't answer that,

there's no way
you're going to get this riddle.

Oh, hey. Hey, what do you think?

Just because it's a boy,

I don't think you need to put a picture
of genitals on his shirt.

What? That's a baseball bat
with two little baseballs.

Okay, yeah, now I see it.

So, you know,

I understand why Howard
is nervous about having a son,

but are you really upset about it?

No, I'm fine.

It's just, I grew up
with a bunch of brothers, so,

I thought it'd be nice
for Halley to have a sister.

Is that wrong?

Of course, it's wrong.

You don't know what this little boy
is gonna be like.

Maybe he'll be rough and tumble

or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive

or maybe he'll be
all those things, like me.

You're rough and tumble?

You bet I am, bitch.

But I'm also sensitive
and regret saying that.

- Hey.
- Hello.

You got a sec?

Sure, what's up?

Penny's been talking to my mother
like they're best friends

and it's kind of freaking me out.

Okay.

I'm pretty sure
they're not best friends.

'Cause you can only have
one best friend,

and Penny has that, and (TSKS) it's me.

Oh, really? ls she facetiming
with you right now?

Because she's facetiming with my mom

and believe me, that is not a face
you want to spend time with.

Hmm. Well, I have been
pretty busy lately.

Maybe I've been
neglecting our friendship.

Penny knows I have a complicated
relationship with my mother.

It's like she doesn't even care.

And with everything going on at the lab
and planning the wedding,

I just, I have so little free time.

Penny doesn't know how manipulative
my mother can be.

Did you know there's such a thing as
reverse, reverse, reverse psychology?

Because there is.

I mean, she must feel so abandoned.

She's used to me
being there all the time,

but now I have my own life
and she's just gonna have to accept it.

And why is my mom proud of Penny
and not me?

I mean, the real question is,

why is Penny so afraid of me
growing as a person?

I'm good at stuff too.

I deserve my own life!

- Okay, well, thanks.
- Yeah, good talk.

You know, studies have shown

that people distracted
by emotional issues

are poor drivers.

What about people distracted
by irritating passengers?

That would be hard to test

because irritating is
a subjective quality.

Strongly disagree.

(SIGHS)

Can I drive?

No, (CHUCKLES) you can't drive,
you don't even have a license.

Actually, I do.

Really? Since when?

Three years ago.

I went on a bit of a license kick.

I'm also a commercial fisherman.

Then why don't you ever drive yourself?

Honestly, I barely passed my test.

And the one time I drove on my own,

I made a U-turn, got dizzy,
threw up and walked home.

You really want to drive?
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

This seems like the perfect time.

The roads are straight,
there's no one around

and you don't seem to care
if you live or die.

Live, Sheldon, I want to live.

That makes things a little trickier,
but I'll do my best.

(SKYPE LINE RINGING)

Hi, Pen-- Oh, hello, Leonard.

Hello, Mother. How are you?

Fine, and you?

-l'm great.
- Well, it's been lovely catching up.

No, no, no. Wait, (STUTTERS)
hang on, we need to talk.

Oh, brother.

I wanna know,

why aren't you proud of me?

Well, isn't the real question,
why aren't you proud of yourself?

No. That is a question

and I ask it a lot.

But let's stick with the one
I asked you.

Well, why do you think
I'm not proud of you?

Because you never say it.

But two days into chatting with Penny

and you can't stop telling her
how great she is.

She is great.

Honestly,
of all of my children's spouses,

she's the one
that I'm most impressed by.

- Seriously?
- Yes.

She's confident, she's thoughtful
and she never complained about you once.

I know what kind of strength that takes.

So, Penny's your favorite?

I suppose she is.

You married well, Leonard,
and for that I am proud of you.

I don't-- I don't--
I don't know what to say.

I'm also proud of
how hard you're trying not to cry.

Thank you.

Would you like to hang up now?

Yeah, here it comes.

Your hands are at ten and two, good.

Steady on the gas.

Okay.

Now you're gonna wanna
slowly switch lanes.

Why?

Because there are only two
and you're not in either of them.

Attaboy. Well done.

Thank you.

Last time I drove,
I was terrified, but this is fun.

You're doing great.

You're a good teacher.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Your son is going to be lucky
to have you as a father.

Thanks.

Do you think
I could try going a little faster?

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

Go for it, champ.

Ow.

Sorry. Just ease on the gas and--

Oh! Too much, too much!

Why was I scared of this?
This is exhilarating.

No, it's not! Slow down!

Don't tell me what to do,
you're not my father.

Do you know how fast you were going?

A hundred and twelve.

Let me see your license.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

- Okay, here's the plan.
- No.

Fine.

There you go.

You know what, you can just keep it.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

English - SDH