Original subtitles

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Oh, my God.

- I mean, what would I really do with this?

- [screaming]

- A dose of Dubai is about to

slap the sháá out of these bitches.

- How are you and David doing?

- You know, it's a challenge.

I mean, he's... it's hard on him not having a wife.

- How did the affair start, then?

I apologize if I asked you too many questions.

I'm sorry for asking you about your life.

- That's a tiny part of my life.

- Well, I can't do anything right, then, can I?

- You can't apologize. You can't own your...

- Oh, my God, it's like a dog with a bone.

[growls]

- Both Lisa and Kyle talked plenty about Yolanda.

- Really? - Absolutely.

I've allowed myself to be used as a pawn.

When I mentioned the Munchausen and how badly I felt about it,

you came out after and you asked me why I didn't bring Kyle up.

Why did you say that? - No, I didn't.

No, I didn't say that, no, I didn't.

- So, what bothers me most about that situation...

- Because she's lying!

[upbeat music]

- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills, you can be anything,

but it's most important to be yourself.

- I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- Don't hate the game.

Just marry a player.

- I'm passionate about dogs, just not crazy about bitches.

[exotic music]

♪ ♪

- How gorgeous!

- Ooh, I love the white Rolls!

Want to ride with me? Ride with me.

- She's going. - Okay.

- Can I sit in the front with you?

This is why I came to Dubai:

to be driven in a white Phantom to a fabulous mall

to get some good shopping on.

I'm not a wearing a seatbelt. You're a good driver, right?

[laughter]

No more fighting, please.

Can we just go and just lose our minds at the mall?

- Yes, it was hurtful,

but I'm thinking that it's so up and down,

because I'm thinking she's my friend and then she's not and...

- She is your friend.

She cares very much for you. - She does.

- What happened last night was emotionally draining,

but I'm not gonna let that ruin my trip.

- At least you didn't get slapped last night.

- Oh yeah.

Look at the bright side. - That's true.

[upbeat music]

- Okay, we're gonna have fun today,

we're gonna shop.

- We should buy something for Kathryn.

- It is her birthday, and we need to make sure

that this is about her birthday.

♪ ♪

- The architecture here, I have to say, these buildings,

they're so beautiful.

- This is such an interesting place.

I've had some great experiences here.

- I would've liked to have ridden camels, though.

- Instead we ended up eating camel.

Little gamey, but there's a lot of good seasonings in it.

[grunts]

- It would have topped it off if they'd had a hawk or a falcon.

♪ ♪

- Shut up! - We'd had falcon and camel.

- Take the hood off and pluck him.

- Snap that neck.

♪ ♪

- What were the rules again?

- Pretty much just don't talk. - Don't do anything.

- Just be a lady.

- No bad language, no gestures.

- Okay. - Talk about shopping.

Nothing else, literally.

- What are you shopping for, sex toys?

- [gasps] - I'm joking, it's a joke.

- I am terrified.

Of being put into jail somewhere far from home

and never getting out.

- We're here, girls. Let's go shop.

[electronic music]

- Oh, my gosh.

Look at this. - Wow.

♪ ♪

- I love the smells in here, right?

- I feel some retail therapy coming on.

- I'm assuming these are for us, right?

- Oh, my gosh. - Oh, perfect.

- How cute!

Oh, I like this. - Should I get in the front?

- Yes, yes. - Okay.

- Wish there were golf carts on Rodeo Drive.

This would make life so much easier.

- I think I want to shop like this every day.

- I've never been driven around a mall before.

It is unreal.

♪ ♪

- Oh, look at that stingray! - Oh, my goodness.

- Ice skating rink, of course.

- Oh, I love that. - This is the prettiest mall

I've ever been to in my entire life.

- I feel like we're in a parade.

- [laughing]

- Wave, darling. - Yes.

[mouthing words]

- We're here. - Hello.

- Good morning. - Morning. How are you?

- Erica, do you see those?

- Those purses? - Yeah.

- No, not yet.

- I love frayed denims.

- I'm overwhelmed. I don't know where to begin.

- I know, it's over-choice, Kyle. It's too much.

- Everything is bigger and better in Dubai.

I wish I was an octopus with eight credit cards.

I mean, like this? - Let me see.

- That's horrible. - Oh, really?

- Let me tell you how I really feel.

♪ ♪

- I'm hoping we can get something

really good over here.

♪ ♪

- Do I want to go in Chanel?

Well, why not?

- Oh, my God, it's quite stunning.

When you come to a place like Dubai,

you can always find things that you would not find

at home in the States.

- How much is it? - It's $705,000.

- 705.

I was gonna say a million. I was gonna say a million.

- If there's something really great,

you're probably not gonna see it again.

You should get it.

- I'm ready to do this and...

- Oh, what are these?

- Aren't those cute? - These are cute.

- They're so cute.

- You look great. You need that in your life.

- I need it? - You must have it.

- Do you want to come home with me?

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back.

- I have to go to the bathroom too,

after I pay for my necklace.

- They're not talking to me.

- Are you serious? - I don't think so.

- Did you speak to them yet? - I just said "Good morning."

- They said "Good morning." - Yeah, but that's... not since.

Eileen and Rinna are just, kind of, ignoring me,

and it's just a horrible atmosphere.

I didn't come all the way here to really, you know,

endure this kind of behavior.

- All right. - How'd you girls do?

- A little bit of damage. What about you?

- She got a Fendi. - A Fendi. What'd you get?

- What'd you buy, a bag? - I bought a bag.

I bought some shoes and some sunnies.

- Nice!

- Lisa Vanderpump doesn't want to really

have anything to do with me right now

'cause I called her out.

She doesn't like to be called out.

[all gasping] - Oh, Erica!

- Cute! - Are you kidding me?

- Cute. - Fabulous.

- You guys, we're going to the Burj Khalifa right now.

But I'm having a panic attack to go up that high.

- We'll hold your hand. - I have the same fear.

We're gonna be okay. - I can't wait.

You're gonna have a beautiful view of Dubai.

- It's the tallest building in the world.

I don't like heights.

- I'm super excited. Let's go.

- Bye, Chanel! Bye, beautiful mall.

[electronic music]

- You guys, look at the Burj Khalifa.

There it is. - Oh, gosh.

- The tallest thing I've ever seen.

I do not like heights.

I love the idea of saying "Oh, I visited the Burj Khalifa."

But I don't actually want to have to go up inside of it.

It's so big. Oh, my gosh.

- Here we are, ladies. The Burj Khalifa.

- Very high. Really high.

- Hi. - Good afternoon, ladies.

How are you? - I'm very well, thank you.

How are you today? - Very well, thank you.

- Welcome to Burj Khalifa, everyone.

- Hello.

- My name is Olga. I'm your guest ambassador.

I will escort you to the 152nd floor.

We will go three people in the first elevator.

After I will come back to pick up other three people.

- I want to go.

- Yes, let's proceed to the elevator, three people.

- Bye!

- Oh, my gosh.

I've always been fascinated with this building.

Now I'm going up to, like, the highest point in the world.

I can't wait to, like, step over and look out.

- Please... - This is it?

- Yes.

- How beautiful this is. - Wow.

- You get scared of heights?

- I'm okay if I'm gonna fall and die.

- That's weird. Right now, really?

We're talking about plunging to our deaths.

Before we go up. Thank you very much.

My feet are sweating. - Are they?

- Oh yeah. - 'Cause you're nervous?

- 'Cause I'm nervous. - Yeah, I got sweaty feet.

- There they are.

- Hi, girls. - Hi.

- You made it up. - We did. Hello.

- And my feet are really sweaty.

- All right, now we will proceed to the balcony observation deck.

Kindly follow me, please. - Oh.

Just proceed this way. - Thank you.

- Enjoy the view.

- Here come sweaty feet, sweaty feet.

Holy crap.

- Beautiful. - Oh, wow!

- Easily. I'm not sure... - Eileen, stop!

- I'm afraid I'm gonna be magnetically pulled.

- Oh, my God!

- I feel like if I take too many steps forward I'll just plunge.

It's weird. I don't understand it.

I've got problems. - Look at that plane there, see?

- Yeah, we're higher than the plane.

- We're looking down at an airplane.

- Yeah. - That's lovely.

You guys, lean in for a selfie.

- Everyone say "Dubai." One, two, three.

All: Dubai!

- Ooh, sorry! Oh, my God.

[both laugh]

- Can I just talk to you a second?

- Right now?

- I've tried to apologize to Eileen before,

but after some coaching from Kyle...

- You know what you have to say?

You have to say "You know what?"

- Apologize for using the wrong terminology?

- No, not like that. That's not...

That's still not right.

You're gonna say to her "You know what?

"I honestly had no idea that would hurt you like that,

and I apologize."

You will not hear one more peep from her, I promise.

- Maybe I'll give it another shot.

And if it doesn't work then I'll throw her over the edge.

I totally never intended to hurt you.

And I'm really sorry for that.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.

- And I want you to know

that I really appreciate you saying that.

- Okay.

- Thank you for saying that.

- Now do you want to throw me off?

- [laughs] No.

- Coming up...

- They're not about fixing people anymore.

They're tossed to the side and they get on with

new wives, new friends... Like, nobody stays together.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Hi! - Ooh, sháá!

- Ooh! - Sorry.

So romantic. - How are you, B?

- I'm good. - What's up?

Both: Hey!

- We all got here at the same time.

- Let's find a nice little place for a picnic.

- What is all this healthy stuff?

I've never seen so much green stuff in my life.

- All... it's all healthy. - And seaweed.

- Is that chicken or tofu?

- This is chicken.

- What's in that thing?

- Oh, my gosh. - Salmon, I think.

- You guys... no, no, no. - I don't eat salmon.

This one's tuna. I don't eat tuna.

- Okay, what do you eat? [laughter]

- I'm sorry!

- When I hang out with Brandi and Kim

it's just easy.

I mean, what you see is what you get.

There's two juices for you guys.

- Is that, like, pomegranate juice?

- Grapefruit! - Oh!

It's healthy for you. - Oh, I can't have grapefruit.

[laughs]

- Okay, I'm going home. Forget it.

You guys... next time, you're gonna be in charge.

There's no manipulating.

There's no trying to position.

It's just like... what is what is, you know?

What's going on in your life?

- No, I'm just getting ready to go and...

make out with some boys.

- Any extra for me? - Probably. I mean...

- It's hilarious. You can send Kim your leftovers.

- I have a feeling we have different tastes.

- Leftovers?

- Well, the ones that she doesn't like.

- I don't know. - She likes children.

- We didn't sleep together.

We slept together in the same bed.

- Wait, wait... - And I have hickeys.

- The kid? - He's 23!

- Exactly, and you like a mature man.

- If I wanted to be taken care of,

and just marry a rich old guy,

I could have done that seven years ago.

- We could go down to the college down the street

and find you a few.

- No, I said from 29 to 49.

- I wouldn't know what to do with a 29-year-old.

- He isn't... he would know what to do with you, though.

- Oh, okay.

- I don't care about your money.

I don't care about your cars or your house.

I will take care of my own fáááing sháá.

You just got to turn me on.

- You're... you're fun to be sober.

- I'm not sober... I'm sober right now,

but I made t-shirts for you guys too.

- Oh, you did? What does mine say?

- I forgot yours. I'm sorry.

But I have other things for you.

This is for you, Kimberly.

- Are you gonna give me a t-shirt saying

"I have Munchausen's?" - [laughs]

- I was... I was... - Is there a napkin over there?

Making one for you that said... - No, the one is ripped.

- "Sick." - Oh, "sick."

- Like, sick.

- Brandi's sense of humor is not my sense of humor.

I really didn't get the t-shirt.

What does it say? - [laughs]

- I'm just saying that you have to be part of the joke.

- Some people might perceive it as insensitive,

or disrespectful.

I just say it's Brandi.

- I will just be like "Whatever."

- Sick, medicated, and sober. Okay.

- No, I'm not sober.

- How about if I just put a little "not" medicated

at the top of mine?

[exotic music]

♪ ♪

- You look incredible.

- How... y do you feel right now?

- You know what? The word isn't offensive to me anymore.

- Now you understand it's an attitude.

- Have you ever heard the word "hunty"?

You hear me say "Oh, hunty."

- "Honey" and "... y" combined.

- "Hunty"? - Hunty!

- I don't think I'll be using the "see you next Tuesday" word,

but "hunty," mm?

I could see myself saying that one.

- Do you like your makeup?

- I love it. - Do you feel pretty?

- I... amazing. - Do you feel... y?

- Say it! - Aah!

- Say it loud! Say it proud!

- Say it!

I don't want what's going on in the group

to rain on Kathryn's birthday.

So have the glam squad, you know,

make you look beautiful for your birthday,

make you feel right.

I mean, come on, let's celebrate.

Let's have fun.

- I'm hoping for a better night.

- But it's your birthday. - Yeah.

- Yeah, it's not gonna be about her tonight.

It's gonna be about what happened

last night on the beach.

- Yeah.

- You can't give the control away to anybody, can you?

- Well, it's like,

we don't have a horse in this race.

- Switch! - Switch it out.

- If I could ask for one gift from them all,

it would be that we all please get along.

- I'm glad that we got past our differences and have moved on.

- Me, too. - And look at y'all.

Relief. - Blonde power.

- All right, well, listen.

Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.

- Thank you, sweetie. I feel beautiful.

[electronic music]

- Well, it's nice to get back to life.

- Yeah. - You know what I mean?

We've all been through such a hard time

the last, what, year?

- It's been a sháá year. - It's been a rough year

for all three of us.

It seems like they're not about fixing people anymore.

If somebody can't help you anymore,

it's not good, they toss... They toss it aside,

and they get on with life with new wives, new friends,

new toys, new this, and you know...

- Unfortunate. - Like, nobody stays together.

People are very, you know, empathetic,

and rally around you when you get sick

the first two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, five.

But you know, when something turns into

a chronic, long-term illness,

people just move away and get on with their life.

People don't like sick people.

- It's just all about today for me.

- Today only? It's not about yesterday.

- Don't look back, yeah. - Mm mm.

- I have a lot of love and understanding

for Kim's journey

because of my own journey.

- Too much of looking back consumes you with guilt

and shame and then you find yourself in the same situation.

- It is a disease.

It's not her choice.

She's done really great for three years,

and she's in a rough patch right now.

- You know if you need any help, we're here for you.

- Oh, don't worry. I know your number.

- Oh, don't... - I know your address.

- I just always say to Kim "I love you,

"and I'm here for you.

You don't just shove somebody on the side

because they failed in their sobriety.

Oh, sháá!

- Oh, shoot!

Oh, sháá. Oh, no!

- My expensive bag, oh no.

I'm so sad.

- Lucky you're rich.

[laughs] - Smack you.

This picnic is just turning out to be a disaster.

We should have just gone to a restaurant.

[exotic music]

♪ ♪

- Are you okay?

- No.

- Great. - Excuse... ow.

Who hit my butt? - Me.

That perky little thing.

- Erika told me with this look I could wear... y things.

- You actually said it.

- Oh, it's not offensive to me anymore.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

- Oh, gosh. You know I've never been on a yacht.

- What? - No!

- Well, I know, it's hard to believe, isn't it?

It's taken me a while to get to the finer things,

and I have a ways to go.

- Oh. - 'Kay, whoa.

- Thank you. - Yes, ma'am.

- The yacht is beautiful. The view's exquisite.

This is the perfect night for Kathryn's birthday.

- Oh, my gosh, cheers. All: Happy birthday!

- Thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Where are we going?

- We're gonna go cruising around the area,

along the coastline so you can see some of the Dubai skyline.

- Oh, beautiful.

- I had a yacht.

I need a plane more than I do a boat.

Gotta go places.

You know, that's for business.

The boat, that's your pleasure.

And it's always business before pleasure.

This does not suck.

- You know what? I've come to realize I'm not

as wealthy as I should be.

[laughter]

- You know what? That's always a check.

Whenever you get on somebody's boat,

you're like "I really need more dough."

[laughter] - Oh, my gosh.

You guys, these buildings are so beautiful.

- Oh, and that's a nice breeze.

- Their skyline takes the cake.

- Isn't that something? - How are you feeling?

- I'm great. - How do you feel about

everything we witnessed last night?

- I was just saying "How do you feel?"

and then you were just like "How do you feel

about everything you were witnessing?"

- 'Cause that must be so interesting when you weren't...

- I'd like to hear your take on it.

- I'm a little confused, because a lot of it

happened outside my presence. - Of course.

- You know, so I'm trying to piece it all together.

I'm glad that you guys...

You feel that you got an apology today.

- I told her what I wanted her to hear

to make the situation better.

- Wait, say that again? - Did you mean it?

- Yes, because I don't want...

Because I don't want her upset.

- But the big thing is is that you meant it.

- I meant "I'm sorry I upset you,

because I don't want you to be upset."

- Not "I'm sorry for what I did."

Lisa Vanderpump has a hard time apologizing.

She does.

- It goes back to Yolanda and Lisa Vanderpump.

They just don't like each other.

But everybody else is getting caught in it.

- And everybody else is feeling it.

And you don't know what you're feeling,

and all of a sudden, you're like "Bleah!"

- Yolanda and Lisa Vanderpump have issues.

And I think that instead of dealing with it head on,

Lisa Vanderpump is kind of using Lisa Rinna

to get to Yolanda.

Do you remember when we were at that...

Drinks after her charity event?

And somebody said, "You love Lisa?"

Yolanda said, "Love is a strong word."

- Strong word.

- I felt something weird

between you and Lisa the other night.

- We all love her, but we've all moved on from it.

- Well, "love" is a big word.

- We got Yolanda, we got Lisa.

We got us all in the middle,

and they aren't dealing with it, but we are.

Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda hate each other so much

that they are willing to do anything

to get at each other.

And I think we're all pawns in the game.

- What would make it right for you?

- Obviously, if she would cop to it.

Said "You know what? I did it."

- Coming up...

- Your feeling is that you are being set up.

[tense music]

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, girls. - Hi.

How are you? - Just checking on you?

- Someone get on the bar and dance.

Someone do something.

Do I need to, like, strip off my clothes

and make this party live?

- Could you?

- Of course I can. - Someone needs to, Erika,

and I think that's gotta be you.

[phone ringing] - Oh!

- That's my mom. Hi, Mom!

Hello?

- I want to say happy birthday!

All: Aww! - Thank you, Mother!

I love you so much!

Thank you for thinking of your third child.

My mother is possibly one of the nicest women

that anyone could ever meet.

She's a really good woman.

I'm gonna cry. - It's okay, go ahead.

- It's your birthday. - It's okay.

- And I'm gonna cry. I hate this.

- Hello? - Mother?

Mom, I love you so much

and I'll call you when I get home.

I just want you to know you're the best mom in the whole world.

My mom has been struggling with memory loss

and hearing her voice on my birthday

when I'm halfway around the world was everything.

She's... she's so sweet.

- Thank you, sweetie.

I love you so much and just be safe.

- I'll be safe, Mom.

Okay, honey, I'll call you tomorrow.

Big kiss. - Okay, honey.

- Bye, dear.

Are you okay, Rinna? What's going on over there?

- Your call got us all a little bit...

- Aw. - We miss our moms.

- Just 'cause, my mom used to remember...

- Yeah, 'cause when they get to that stage, I mean...

- It, like, hits you.

- She stopped calling me a few years ago.

- Did she? - I know.

My mom doesn't call me anymore, so...

- I know, that's so sad. - Your mom called,

it was like "Oh wow, her mom called her."

- Yeah.

They don't forget.

- Our moms have forgotten. They don't know.

- My mom had a stroke two years ago,

and she lost her memory.

And so when Kathryn's mom just called her,

and wished her a happy birthday,

and I don't... I won't have that anymore

and it's just sad.

Oh.

- Are they okay? - I don't know.

- Uh. - Sorry.

- I am. - No, every time you cry,

it happens to everybody else.

- I'm sorry. - Gosh darn it.

- Aww.

- Shoot.

My mom always used to say that too: "Shoot."

'Cause she'd start to cry and she'd say "Oh, shoot."

- You know, it's just the roughest time.

- It really is. - Having elderly parents

that don't remember you.

My mom was my best friend for my entire life.

So basically it's different

because I've lost my best friend.

Most of the time she doesn't even know who I am anymore.

- Rinna got so emotional.

- Huh? Why is she so emotional?

- I don't know.

Maybe it's part of last night...

- Maybe.

- Thinking of her mom who's getting a little older...

- Her mother's not well, is she?

- Her mom and father are both in a home.

- Yeah. - She's already feeling like...

Nobody feels good when something like last night happens.

Nobody. - No.

Not one. - There are no winners.

- I have a lot of empathy for Lisa Vanderpump.

You know she's pissed me off, and it's made me mad,

but she must feel, like, on the outside.

'Cause why else would you want to control stuff?

- We're all gonna sit together now,

and everyone's gonna be a big girl.

- True dat! - [laughs]

- Well, we don't have a "true dat."

- You could make one up for the English people.

- You can make up a "true dat," Lisa.

- Okay, I'll try. - What does "bollocks" mean?

- ... - ...

Means "Oh,..."

- Please stop cursing.

- It means like a load of rubbish, you know.

- Just trash? - It's still a bit rude.

It's still rude. - But not as...

- It sounds a bit harder because the... word.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Shh.

- We're on a boat, girl. Nobody can hear you.

What's he gonna do, throw us off?

- He's coming to get you 'cause you said that.

- Yeah. Dinner's ready.

[laughter]

- Yeah. Yeah.

- "Dinner's ready." That means, like,

"walk the plank," darling.

[laughter] - Get off, yeah.

- It's a big table.

- Oh, my God, blondes on one side, brunettes on the other.

- Can I make a toast? - Can... can... yes.

- Kyle and Erika, I would like to thank you so much

for bringing us to this beautiful...

- Exotic land. - Exotic land.

And what a fabulous trip.

Thank you so much. - Thank you, girls.

- Cheers. - Thank you so much.

- Kathryn, happy birthday. - Mwah.

- Thank you. - Yes, happy birthday.

- Thank you so much, girls.

Mmm.

- So this is it. This is our last supper.

- Oh, my God, how depressing.

That guy died at the end, you know?

God help us all. [laughs]

- Anyway.

Well...

- Okay, I'm gonna say it.

It's a little awkward.

You guys, come on. This is weird.

Let's not... I mean...

We can't not talk. - It was like

so intense last night.

- Well, it is exhausting, I know.

I don't think anybody wants to go back there.

I think that's the whole point.

- Well, this is not how we normally are,

sitting in hushed tones in corners.

We're all normally talking and laughing

and having fun in a group.

Is that not true? - True. It's true.

- I'm not crazy.

I mean, you guys have barely said

one word to each other all day.

- A little bit, but...

- We have work to do, if we want.

- I don't understand some of the things you do,

but I'm sure you don't understand some of the things

I do either, and you seem so emotional tonight. I...

- I feel like the relationship between you and Yolanda

is a really... There's a lot there.

That you and Yolanda, it's the crux of the matter, really.

- I feel we're talking in code.

I'm not sure what that means.

- They don't like each other.

- You have an anger about it, and maybe...

- About what? - About Yolanda.

- About what, though? - Whatever she did to Ken.

- We're having a girls' talk.

And you know, I don't appreciate you being rude...

- When your husband is here, let your husband tell me that.

- Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

- Come on, then. - Do not touch me, Ken.

- This is getting ridiculous. - You are so rude,

to me and my friends, and to everybody.

- That's true, but when your partner's really hurting,

you kind of feel for them, too.

- Absolutely. - And just how you felt

protective of Harry.

- You will never go near my husband.

- Everybody will know...

- Fáááing understand that? - Everybody will know.

- You never go after my fáááing husband.

- You know? - I do know.

It's like, he's my man. - I know.

- So of course I felt like that.

So, yeah, it was really difficult.

And it was very hurtful for him.

- Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda

absolutely have an issue with each other.

Is that why maybe Lisa wanted

the word "Munchausen's" to get out,

but for someone else to say it?

- Okay.

- I think you would feel the same way.

- I would, absolutely.

I would, absolutely.

- I laugh a lot of things off, and maybe people think

that I'm not as sensitive as I am,

but do I cry? Of course I do.

In fact, let's be honest:

some of the people at this table have made me cry before.

- I do think it's about you and Yolanda.

- Well, that's your perception, you know?

- It's just... it's a question, really.

- Your feeling is that you were being set up.

- What's "set up"? - With that Munchausen thing.

- I did not...

- I think that's the crux of it, Lisa.

- You mean you were being set up to take the fall for all that?

- No, that she somehow wanted Kyle

to take the fall with me. - No. No!

- That's what I don't understand.

I already was open and honest about it.

Why did anybody else need to be mentioned?

- Why did anybody else need to be...

- You tell me, Lisa.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- Don't walk into it, Eileen.

- Shh! - Don't shush me.

- Don't tell me what to do.

- I already was open and honest about it.

Why did anybody else need to be mentioned?

- Why did anybody else need to be...

- You tell me, Lisa.

- I'm not... - You're caught red-handed.

- Caught at what?

- Just go "I'm caught red-handed,"

and be done with it.

- But I would not do that to Kyle.

- Okay, excuse me, the elephant in the room is that

she has her reality of what happened.

You confirmed it.

- She came upstairs and she said

"I said, 'Oh'... to Lisa... 'Oh, my God,

I thought you were gonna throw Kyle in it.'"

Like whew! Like I thought you were gonna drag me into it.

- Why would I drag you into it?

- I don't think that's validating.

- I think that's the issue. It's not about...

- I don't want to go back to last night, you know?

- Okay. Well, that's how you resolve something.

I'm sorry, but that's how you resolve it.

- Uch, I hate this. - Kyle, I tried.

You know, Lisa, I'm so sorry,

but I'm gonna stick hard to this.

- Me, too. What would be the point

of me saying "Drag Kyle into it?"

I don't like that accusation.

- Kyle, I have to ask this, because what you said was

"This happened, but I'm okay with it."

- I wasn't in the moment...

- You're okay with her betraying you?

[dramatic music]

- I didn't betray her. - That's what it is.

- Yeah, you did.

I don't understand why Kyle is willing

to throw the rest of us under the bus,

just so she doesn't upset Lisa Vanderpump.

- Whatever you're saying is not working with this,

so if you said to me in the bathroom,

and you said that to her outside,

and they're the same thing...

- I wouldn't say to her "Why didn't I bring Kyle into it"!

- But you told me in the bathroom that.

You said those exact words. - No, I didn't say

"Why don't you bring Kyle into it?"

I thought she was going to. - Right.

It's very different. - I feel bad for her.

- "Why don't you bring Kyle into it?"

is very different from

"I thought you were going to bring Kyle into it."

That's very different.

Don't you think? - No.

- Oh.

- "Why didn't you bring Kyle into it?"

"I thought you were gonna bring Kyle into it."

You still wanted to bring Kyle into it.

This is just semantics.

- Can I say from my perspective, and I wasn't there,

you believe Rinna. This is the truth.

I'm sorry, and you don't want to say it...

- We spoke the next day, and the stories matched.

- Friendship and you want to maintain this, and I get that.

But the truth of the matter is you believe her.

You do. Just say it and it's done!

- I know it's confusing you guys.

- But it is, Kyle.

This is your friend who wanted to take you

and throw you under the bus.

- Are you kidding me?

It's like you want to throw everybody under the bus.

- We're on this beautiful yacht, out in Dubai,

and we're sitting at a table fighting?

This is so embarrassing.

- Roll your eyes all you want.

You're caught.

- Kyle doesn't want to pay the price

for going against Lisa Vanderpump.

That's a leveraged relationship.

It's not a friendship.

- I actually thought that maybe you'd bring us all into it.

- No. - Because it was such

a precarious situation.

- Excuse me, I walked into that situation right after,

and there was no sense at all

of her bringing anybody into it.

- Doesn't matter. When she read it out, I was horrified.

- What's happening? - I just was really honest

about people questioning and asking questions about Yolanda.

And I just feel sháááy about it.

- This was not about bringing anybody else into it.

That's BS. I don't like it.

[pounds table] - I'm gonna say something.

- Done. Oh!

It's crazy to me,

because Kyle appears to always have to please Lisa Vanderpump

to keep their friendship afloat.

It's ridiculous.

If that's not tragic, I don't know what is.

So much BS, my meter's going through the roof,

and I don't... I can't deal with it.

- I don't know why... Honestly, you guys?

I wish Kyle would just say...

- She did say it! She did say it.

She said the stories match. She just said it.

"The stories match."

- It is true. I am protecting my relationship with her,

because we really do care about each other.

- Okay. Well then, we're done with it.

- No, but I mean, I'm honest. - Then we're done.

- No, I'm being honest. - All right.

I'm done too. I'm done with this.

I think it's because of Kyle's own

dysfunctional relationship with her sisters.

That's why she can't pull away from Vanderpump.

- I'm not being a part of it any more, I'm done.

- I didn't want to go here.

- There are times when you just have to walk away, I'm done.

- Keep it in perspective for what it is.

This is the level of it.

This is the level of the friendship!

- What you're missing is that

this was really about her telling the truth,

and she's not hearing it.

- But are you surprised?

- She'll go to the death. She'll take it till the end.

- Lisa Vanderpump has a hard time

being perceived as anything less than

some kind of a perfect image.

It just seems really hard for her

to take responsibility for her own actions.

- Let me say what I'm gonna say.

And I want you to know that I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say

so we can still get past that.

I have nothing to do... I am not Team Anything.

I'm obviously the closest with you of anybody else...

- Of course, yep. - I love you.

- I love you, too. - You're honestly

like a sister to me. - I love you, too.

- You're very important to me.

And that doesn't mean that I'm...

- So you're gonna believe somebody

that's very erratic and that's putting it nicely...

Over me? - Lisa...

You told me that to my face. - I didn't.

- That doesn't make sense what you're saying!

And you put me in a bad position!

And I'm gonna lie when I'm the subject!

- Okay, I thought... I thought you were gonna...

- You can't do that! You wouldn't do that for me!

If you thought that I was... ing you over,

you wouldn't lie and say "No, no, no..."

- Kyle... - I look like an idiot!

- Listen... - I look like

a... ing abused wife with a black eye

who says "Oh, I fell down the stairs!"

- Oh, my God, Kyle. - I can't do that!

- Just stay here.

Just... don't walk into it, Eileen.

- I'm not. Just let them finish.

- Shh! - Don't shush me.

- Don't tell me what to do!

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Yeah!

- Why would you say me and not you or anybody else?

I... wait, let me talk. Let me talk.

Let me talk or I'm gonna lose it,

and I don't want to lose it right now.

And then I said to myself, "That was very clever.

"That was your way of covering your ass

in case it ever came up," like it has.

So it's the same wording to cover your ass.

- So you think I would go out there and say...

- I do.

- "Why don't you get Kyle into it?"

- I do. But I still love you. - Okay, well then...

Then you shouldn't.

- Well, that's what they're thinking.

That's why I feel like an...

- I don't understand why she's saying she chooses

to believe Rinna.

Kyle, often, I feel straddles the fence,

and I want her to say, "No, I don't believe that."

I actually wondered if she was gonna bring us all into it.

- You didn't say that, though.

- But that's how I felt!

- That's not what you said! You're not making sense.

You gotta say something else, please.

Please help me justify me sitting here

and sticking by you.

Help me do that. - Look, I don't...

- How about you say, "You know what?

"Maybe I said something wrong. I... ed up.

"We misunderstood. I care about you."

- I think she misunderstood me.

- And then I can go "Okay. I'm okay with that."

- I think she misunderstood me. I'm not okay with that.

- Coming up...

- I will not... ing tell a lie.

- I'm not asking you to tell a lie.

- I'm asking you not to tell one!

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Do you think... - If I... ed up...

Do you remember way back when Taylor said

"Kyle said that you have a big ego."

- Yeah, that's nothing. - And you looked at me.

You know what I did? I said, "I said that."

- Let's all just be honest for once instead of just me.

And let's talk about Lisa's ego

and how it's been inflated this year.

Over the last year, have you not said,

that Lisa's ego is out of control?

- I think it's... She has a big ego.

- Okay. - Wow, Kyle, that's really good.

- It's very different to being brought in...

- No, it's not. - It is. It is.

- Because you know what?

Because I will not ...ing tell a lie.

And you know what, to me our friendship is too important.

- I'm not asking you to tell a lie, that's not fair.

- I'm asking you not to tell one!

Why would I say "If you're gonna do that to me

I will take you down in flames"? Why would I say that?

- Yeah, you're right. - Why would I say that

if you said "all of you"?

That's not making sense which is what I'm trying to tell you.

Let me help you as your friend. Change your story right now.

- No, I'm not changing my story. I'm sticking to the truth.

- That's not the truth! That's not the truth.

- It all stems from one person.

This whole thing that's going on right now

is stemming from one person.

It is not? That's all.

- You guys, honestly.

This is like two shades of bat... crazy.

- Well... - Hello.

- Welcome to it, babe. Welcome to it.

I see it so clearly.

We are collateral damage

in the game of Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda.

- Cheers to that. - Yeah, cheers.

- Two highly-narcissistic individuals

who are battling it out to be the queen.

- In order for us to leave this table

and be okay and be happy, and fly home tomorrow

and be happy, there has to be a change here.

- Okay, so what do you want me to say?

What do you want me to say? I'll lie.

I'll lie and I'll tell you... I'll say whatever you want

to make you feel better.

- The biggest question to me, you guys,

In the whole thing of it so far?

Is why, if she believes that that woman

was willing to like, fricking, do her in

or throw her under the bus,

why... I don't understand the friendship.

- That's what I asked her. That's what I asked her.

- Why is it okay? - That's what I asked her.

- Is that a real friendship?

- It's not for us to figure out.

If she wants that, and she's cool with it...

- She is. - That's right. Her business.

Maybe we don't need to understand it.

Maybe we just gotta say... - Well, I don't, so...

[laughter]

- But also... - I don't, and done!

- I have to say... And I meant what I said...

They love each other.

- Yeah. - That's not a lie.

- How about this: I don't care.

Can I just drop it now?

Let's just drop it, okay? - Okay, okay.

- And that was, on my life...

- But I would not say "Why don't you drag Kyle into it?"

- Don't keep saying that.

Lisa, don't say anything anymore.

- I won't say it, okay. - Don't say any more.

'Cause you're better off not.

We're dropping it. Look at me.

And don't try to get the last word in that's not...

"I have to tell my truth."

- I would not say "Why didn't you drag Kyle into it?"

End of story. - I'm disappointed

that Lisa can't say "I'm sorry, I screwed up."

And she always has to have the last word.

I give up at this point.

You and I are gonna drop it,

because the truth is it's her issue with you

and I've obviously... This is four months ago...

I don't have an issue.

For whatever reason I don't, and that's it.

I don't care. - Okay.

- You and I are fine. We're done.

- Oh, if you believe her...

- Can we eat some chicken? Stop saying that!

Why do you have to get the last... ing word?

- Okay.

- Just eat your chicken and be quiet.

- I don't want Kyle to think that I said

"Why don't you bring her into it?"

That's important to me.

She's my friend.

I mean, okay, she said she's all right with it,

but I'm not really okay with that.

- Wow. - Hi.

- Do we have a birthday cake for her?

- I don't think she wants cake now.

- Excuse me.

I didn't have a cake for Kathryn.

- We do have a cake for her. - There it is.

- But we don't have time. - Why can't we do it now?

No, I don't want to take... It's her birthday.

- I think it's really sweet that Kyle wants to salvage

Kathryn's birthday by giving her a piece of cake.

It's gonna take a lot more than cake.

- Happy birthday, Kathryn. - Thank you.

It's been... it's been...

It's been different.

It's beautiful, but it's...

It's definitely a different birthday.

- Here we go. I got a lighter.

Want to light it? - Oh, my God.

- This seems like a weird thing to bring it into.

- Well, I don't care. - Okay.

- This is Kathryn's first big trip with us...

- I look way too fabulous for this fighting.

- And we have had one disaster dinner after the next.

At least give the girl her damn birthday cake.

- Blow, blow, blow. Happy birthday.

- Blow. - Thank you.

- 51, baby. Looks good.

- Thank you so much.

That's really beautiful. Okay, let me make a wish.

I feel like I should wish it out loud, though,

so everyone can hear it.

First, I wish for health and happiness,

and...

and really, in the big picture...

And I'm not saying we all can't fight,

but my God!

Be civil to each other.

- Aw. - This is from Lisa and me.

- Thank you. Thanks so much.

- Happy birthday. - Mwah.

What am I gonna do with that cake?

Can we get that in a doggie bag?

- Yes, I'm gonna take your cake to go.

- I'll do it. I'll do it, Kyle.

- [gasps] No, you didn't!

Thank you! - How cute.

Thank you, wow! I love this.

It's beautiful, thank you. - What is it?

Can we see it? - It's very thoughtful.

- Beautiful little wallet that can fit into all my little bags.

I love it. - This is a... everything.

I have one of these. You're gonna love it.

- Where's my wine? - We're on land.

- I'm not even going back to the house.

- [laughs] Look at Kyle!

- She's staying on the boat.

- I hate everybody right now. I want to kill everybody.

- Coming up...

- Rinna? She doesn't say anything, she's nice,

and then, she like, loses it.

- I don't think she'll be finding it any time soon.

[exotic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh.

- I look like I've been... What's it called?

Shagged through a hedge backwards?

- Oh, no. I look like I've been shagged twice

through a hedge backwards. - You wish.

- Last night was horrible,

but I said what I had to say, and I'm moving on.

- You can actually go to the spa and get, like,

a 30-minute neck massage.

- It would be much more fun to do that

than go to the airport for three hours.

- Oh, I know.

- This is beautiful.

- Hello. - Hi, ladies.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- Hello, girls. - Thank you.

Those are heavy chairs. - Thank you so much.

- Thank you. - Hi, girls.

- Fun, right?

- It's, like, stalemate.

She says, "You said this," and I said, "No, I didn't."

- I know. - And it's kind of weird to me

that, oh, three months later... Really?

- For someone like Rinna, she doesn't say anything.

She's nice, and then she, like, loses it.

- Uh, yeah. She's lost it,

and I don't think she'll be finding it anytime soon.

- "Azudat." What was it? "Duzat"?

What is it? - "True dat."

- Oh, true dat.

- You cannot say "true dat" with an English accent.

- Ha.

Dubai was fabulous, but my travel companions...

Not so much.

- Hello, hello. - Hello, good morning.

- Good morning. - Hello.

- What was everybody's favorite part of Dubai?

- The whole desert experience and the Burj Khalifa, I'm sorry.

- Yeah, the Burj Khalifa. The view was...

That was my favorite. - That was unparalleled.

- Oh, wow.

- Wow. - Look at that.

- Okay, this is pretty amazing.

- This is beautiful. - Oh!

- I have to say I love being out

on those buggies and the desert like that.

- Yeah, me, too. - Seeing that and feeling that.

- I really wish I had... [all screaming]

-...! [laughter]

- To me, that was the highlight. - Yeah.

Everything about this trip to Dubai was bigger than life.

The environment was bigger than life.

The culture was bigger than life.

The hotel was bigger than life.

Everything, including the drama.

I've never gonna forget this trip as long as I live.

- Kyle, thank you for my first girls' trip.

I really appreciate it. Ladies...

we've had some awkward moments.

However, I think on a whole,

it was a great time.

- Thank you. - I hope you all had

a wonderful time in Dubai. - Cheers.

All: Cheers.

- Next time on the season finale...

- Ready for another margarita? - Yes.

- Are you girls already dressed?

Am I the last one out?

[dramatic music]

- You may be more manipulative than Lisa Vanderpump.

Could I dig a deeper hole for myself?

- You're really the person

that started the Munchausen. - Oh, my God.

- I felt like that's a dart.

Like you just threw a dart in me.

- You gotta own your own stuff. - Really?

- Well, we haven't even been able to talk about...

Yolanda and David are getting a divorce.

- [scoffs]

- I'm assuming that she was blindsided.

- Maybe she's the one that's, like,

fell out of love with him.

- If you've stop making each other happy,

then you shouldn't be together.

Divorce is like... Almost like death.

- To learn more about the Housewives,

go to bravotv.com.