Original subtitles

Grim: [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

Mandy: DON'T MAKE ME TURN

THIS CARTOON AROUND.

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

[ CRASH ]

WELL, THIS AIN'T FANNY'S

CAFETERIA.

40 YEARS, I'VE BEEN HUNTING

YOU, DRACULA.

40 YEARS OF CHASING SHADOWS AND

RUMORS, OF LIVING IN --

GET THAT LIGHT OFF DRACULA

EYES.

BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D

SEE ME AGAIN.

WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

I AM LIONEL VAN HELSING, YOUR

MORTAL ENEMY.

HMM...

NOPE. DON'T RING A BELL.

MAYBE THIS WILL HELP -- A

WOODEN STAKE THROUGH THE HEART!

NO, DRACULA DON'T THINK THAT

GONNA HELP MUCH.

AAH!

GET YOUR BIG BUTT OFF DRACULA!

DIE, VAMPIRE!

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

Grim: NO, DON'T HURT HIM!

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

DON'T LISTEN TO SKELETON MAN.

HE NOTHING BUT A BIG DUMMY.

Grim: DRACULA, HUSH!

I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU.

DRACULA DON'T NEED NO SAVING.

DRACULA CAN SAVE HIS SELF.

[ GRUNTING, MOANING ]

DRACULA HIP MUST'VE GONE OUT.

JUST GIVE DRACULA A SECOND TO

CATCH HIS BREATH.

Grim: LOOK, CALM DOWN AND

DROP THE WOODEN STAKE.

DROP THE STAKE?

DROP YOUR HEAD IS WHAT I SHOULD

DO!

DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS MONSTER IS?

Grim: HE'S DRACULA, KING OF

THE VAMPIRES...AND MY CHILDHOOD

HERO.

YOU ARE A SICK, LITTLE MAN.

HERO? I DON'T SEE A HERO.

I SEE A BLOODSUCKING DEMON.

NO, NO, NO, THAT'S A MYTH.

DRACULA DON'T SUCK.

YOU GIVE ME A REASON WHY I

SHOULDN'T END HIS REIGN OF

TERROR RIGHT NOW!

DRACULA THINK --

QUIET, YOU!

Grim: UH...UM...

H-HE'S AN EXCELLENT DANCER?

SHAKE HIS BOOTY.

Grim: DRACULA HAS BEEN LIKE A

FATHER TO ME.

WHY, JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, WE

WERE HANGING OUT...

DRACULA LOVE MINIATURE GOLF.

Grim: ONE ADULT AND ONE

SENIOR CITIZEN, PLEASE.

SENIOR CITIZEN?

YOU CALLING DRACULA OLD?!

Grim: DRACULA, COME ON.

YOU LIVE IN A RETIREMENT HOME.

AND, BESIDES, THE SENIOR-CITIZEN

DISCOUNT SAVES YOU FIVE BUCKS.

DRACULA AIN'T NO SENIOR

CITIZEN.

Grim: FINE!

THEN YOU PAY FOR YOUR OWN

TICKET.

FINE! DRACULA WILL.

DRACULA GONNA NEED TO BORROW

FIVE BUCKS.

MY EYE!

Grim: WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?

THAT'S CALLED DRACULA PUTTING

A FUNK IN THE GAME.

Grim: YOU CAN'T HIT IT THAT

HARD.

GOLF.

YOU CAN'T TELL DRACULA HOW TO

PLAY.

MY BABY!

Grim: GIVE ME THAT.

YOU'RE GONNA HURT SOMEBODY.

OF DRACULA.

FOR

YOU.

UH, GENTLEMEN, UH, I'M GONNA

HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.

YOU CAN'T TELL DRACULA WHAT

TO DO!

LOOK, OLD TIMER, YOU'RE

CAUSING --

OLD TIMER?!

DRACULA SHOW YOU WHO'S AN OLD

TIMER!

GET BACK HERE!

DRACULA GONNA BEAT YOUR BUTT!

Grim: MAYBE THAT WASN'T THE

MOST HELPFUL STORY.

DRACULA TOLD YOU HE WAS A

DUMMY.

Grim: HEY, WEREN'T YOU TWO ON

THE GROUND BEFORE THE FLASHBACK?

THE CONCRETE HURT MY KNEES

SOMETHING FIERCE.

AND DRACULA NEEDED MORE

LUMBAR SUPPORT.

Grim: EH. MAKES SENSE.

NOW, GIVE ME A SECOND.

I'M SURE I CAN COME UP WITH A

MUCH BETTER REASON WHY DRACULA

SHOULD LIVE.

SEE, ONE TIME HE...

NO, HE CAUGHT THAT PLACE ON

FIRE.

OH, THERE WAS A GUY WHO...

OH, WAIT.

HE NEEDED STITCHES.

AND THERAPY.

ANYTHING?

Grim: UM...MAYBE.

NO, HE WAS ARRESTED THAT TIME.

MUCH.

Billy: PLEASE, SIR, DON'T

HURT MR. DRACULA.

IF YOU WOULD JUST TAKE A MOMENT

AND LOOK AT HIM THROUGH THE

INNOCENT EYES OF A CHILD, YOU

WOULD SEE THAT HE'S NOT JUST A

BIG, STINKY MONSTER.

HE'S A BIG, STINKY MONSTER WHO

BITES THINGS.

ONE DAY, HE CAME TO MY SCHOOL TO

SHARE HIS WEALTH OF LIFE

LESSONS.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

AND THAT IS HOW DRACULA DO THE

SCRAPE-AND-LICK.

NOW DRACULA GONNA SEPARATE YOU

INTO TWO GROUPS -- UGLY AND

DUMMY.

YOU UGLY, YOU UGLY, YOU UGLY.

YOU A DUMMY. YOU UGLY.

YOU A DUMMY, AND YOU UGLY.

YOU IN BOTH.

Mandy: WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS

SERVE?

DRACULA DIDN'T ASK FOR NO

LIP!

DRACULA TRYING TO BRING YOU AN

EDUCATION.

NOW, DUMMIES, STAND OVER THERE

AND FACE THAT WAY.

AND, UGLIES, STAND OVER THERE,

FACING THAT WAY.

Billy: NOW WHAT?

DRACULA DIDN'T TELL YOU TO

LOOK OVER HERE, DUMMY!

YOU KEEP FACING THE WALL!

Billy: YES, SIR.

SO, BABY, YOU WANT TO SEE

DRACULA DANCE?

[ FUNKY SOUL MUSIC PLAYS ]

MMM, YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT?

OH, YEAH!

DRACULA BRINGING THE HEAT NOW.

Billy: AND HE NEVER GOT

INVITED BACK.

THE END.

DRACULA WANT CALL HIS LAWYER.

Mandy: LOOK, I'LL ADMIT

DRACULA IS NO SAINT, BUT WHY DO

YOU HATE HIM SO MUCH?

HE'S HARMLESS.

HARMLESS?!

IS IT HARMLESS TO WRECK A MAN'S

LIFE?

DRACULA GONNA WRECK YOUR FACE

WHEN HE GET OUT OF HERE.

Grim: YOU'RE NOT HELPING.

SEE THIS?

Billy: A FIST?

IT LOOKS MIGHTY!

NO, IT'S A FRIENDSHIP

BRACELET.

Grim: OKAY, SO, YOU

ACCESSORIZE?

NO!

LOOK!

Billy: IT'S THE SAME

BRACELET.

Grim: THEN THAT MEANS...

YES.

DRACULA AND I ARE...

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

...BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

Billy: BFFs?

Grim: THEN WHY KILL HIM?

IT WAS HOT THAT SUMMER IN

ENDSVILLE.

DRACULA AND I WERE TRYING TO

COOL THINGS DOWN WITH OUR BEST

STRUT.

LOOKING GOOD, BABY!

DRACULA, MY MAN, YOU KNOW

WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT THE

SUMMER?

SUMMER DRESSES.

RIGHT ON!

[ BOTH SLURPING ]

HEY, DRACULA, MY MAN, YOU KNOW

WHAT FLAVOR POPSICLE I LIKE

BEST?

FUDGE.

RIGHT ON!

DRACULA, MY MAN, YOU KNOW WHICH

FOOT IS MY FAVORITE?

THE RIGHT FOOT.

RIGHT ON!

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FOUND TWO

TIGHTER FRIENDS THAN US IN THE

WHOLE CITY.

WE SPENT OUR NIGHTS OUT DANCING

AND EATING PEPPERONI PIZZA, AND

WE SPENT OUR DAYS WORKING AT THE

LOCAL FACTORY AS CUSTOM TEDDY

BEAR DESIGNERS.

WHAT YOU THINK, MAN -- LITTLE

PURPLE HAT OR LITTLE ORANGE HAT?

DRACULA DIGGING ON THE

GROOVINESS OF PURPLE.

WHATEVER, MAN.

"WHATEVER, MAN"?

SOMETHING WRONG.

DRACULA AIN'T NEVER HEARD

VAN HELSING NOT CARE WHAT HE PUT

ON A TEDDY BEAR.

DRACULA, YOU EVER THINK

THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN

DESIGNING TEDDY BEARS, DANCING,

AND EATING PEPPERONI PIZZA?

WHAT -- YOU MEAN, LIKE,

SAUSAGE PIZZA?

NEVER MIND, MAN.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

CANADIAN-BACON PIZZA, RIGHT?

I GOT TO GO GET SOME AIR.

VEGETARIAN PIZZA?

DRACULA CAN BE DOWN WITH

VEGETABLES.

EXCEPT GARLIC.

DRACULA DON'T TOUCH NONE OF

THAT.

I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I

WAS LOOKING FOR.

OF COURSE, I DIDN'T KNOW A LOT

OF THINGS BACK THEN, LIKE A

GIRAFFE HAS ONLY SEVEN

VERTEBRAE.

THAT'S CRAZY.

YOU'D THINK WITH SUCH A LONG

NECK --

BACK OFF, JACK.

I KNOW KARATE.

I'M SORRY.

I WASN'T PAYING ATTEN--

GIRL, I WASN'T TRYING TO HURT

YOU.

I'VE HEARD THAT LINE BEFORE.

WHO WAS THIS WOMAN IN FRONT

OF ME?

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, STRONG, AND

ANGRY.

AND THEN SUDDENLY IT HIT ME.

AS I LOST CONSCIOUSNESS, A WARM

THOUGHT ROSE UP.

I HAD FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING

FOR.

HEY! HEY!

ARE YOU OKAY?

SORRY I WHUPPED YOUR BUTT.

YOUR FRIEND DRACULA EXPLAINED

EVERYTHING.

I'M SURE YOU'LL FIGURE OUT WHAT

KIND OF PIZZA YOU WANT SOMEDAY.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

TANYA.

WELL, TANYA, PERHAPS SOMETIME

YOU'D LIKE TO --

HEY, FOXY LADY!

WANT TO SEE DRACULA DANCE?

I KNEW IT WAS OVER FOR ME

THEN.

NO WOMAN COULD RESIST DRACULA'S

DANCE.

LET'S GET MARRIED!

OUT OF SIGHT!

I LISTENED TO MY BROKEN HEART

FOR A SIGN OF WHAT TO DO NEXT.

BUT IT WAS SILENT, LIKE A SILENT

FART.

AND AS YOU KNOW, IT'S THE SILENT

FARTS THAT ARE THE MOST DEADLY.

SO I DECIDED I WOULD USE MY PAIN

TO BECOME A SILENT FART OF

VENGEANCE!

AND I WOULD KILL DRACULA!

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]

THAT DUMB STORY GONNA MAKE

DRACULA THROW UP.

I PROMISED MYSELF I'D KEEP

WEARING THIS BRACELET UNTIL THE

DAY I HAD MY REVENGE.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

GONNA TALK DRACULA TO DEATH.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GONNA DO.

Billy: I DIDN'T KNOW DRACULA

WAS MARRIED.

Mandy: YEAH.

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER

YOURSELF?

Grim: IRWIN'S GRANDMAMA IS

DRACULA'S WIFE?!

HEY, BABY.

DON'T YOU "HEY, BABY" ME,

DRACULA.

TANYA?

YOU CAN'T KILL DRACULA,

LIONEL.

HE'S MY BABY'S DADDY.

[ CAR DOOR OPENS ]

DRACULA IS MY DAD?

DUDE!

Irwin: THEN THAT MEANS

DRACULA IS MY GRANDPAPA, YO.

DUDE!

YO!

DUDE!

YO!

DUDE!

YO!

Billy: DUDE, IRWIN IS HALF

MUMMY, HALF VAMPIRE?

Mandy: IT WOULD APPEAR SO.

Irwin: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?

DOES THAT MEAN I'M COOL ENOUGH

TO DATE YOU NOW, MANDY?

[ SMOOCHING ]

A-A-A-A-AH!

IT BURNS, YO!

[ SOBBING ]

Billy: WHAT WAS THAT -- MACE?

Mandy: NO, GARLIC BUTTER.

HE'S DEFINITELY PART VAMPIRE.

Irwin: A-A-A-A-AH!

Irwin: WHY, WOMAN, WHY?!

A-A-A-A-AH!

BUT YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME MY DAD

WAS A NAVIGATOR ON A SPICE

FREIGHTER.

WHY'D YOU HIDDITY-HIDE THE

TRUTH?

'CAUSE IT WOULD'VE BROKE MY

LITTLE BABY'S HEART IF HE KNEW

YOUR DADDY DISAPPEARED ON US.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

DON'T YOU LAY IT ON DRACULA.

SEE, HERE WHAT HAPPENED.

DRACULA WAS OUT MOWING THE LAWN.

HMM. DRACULA THIRSTY.

BABY, BRING DRACULA SOME

REFRESHING LEMONADE!

GET IT YOURSELF!

I'M BUSY WITH THE BABY!

[ SIGHS ]

BABY, WE AIN'T GOT NO --

[ SCREAMS ] A BAT!

[ MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY ]

AAH!

[ GROANS ]

PLEASE, BABY, PLEASE CALL AN

AMBUL-- NO, BABY, NO!

NOT ON DRACULA'S FACE!

OW!

CRAZY WOMAN TRY TO KILL DRACULA.

DRACULA GONNA GET THE HECK OUT

OF HERE.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD TURN

INTO A BAT.

WOMAN, EVERYBODY KNOW DRACULA

TURN INTO A BAT.

THAT'S WHAT DRACULA DO.

I'M SORRY, HONEY, BABY.

DRACULA SORRY, TOO.

SORRY YOU SO OLD AND UGLY NOW!

I GUESS WE BOTH GOT BEAT UP

BY TANYA.

Grim: SO, YOU STILL FEEL THE

NEED TO GET REVENGE?

DAD!

AAH!

DRACULA FAMILY A BUNCH OF NERDS!

NO, WHAT I FEEL THE NEED TO

DO IS...

STRUT!

[ FUNKY SOUL MUSIC PLAYS ]

NO!

YOU GET BACK HERE, PUT DRACULA

OUT HIS MISERY!

COME ON!

[ SOBS ]

LOOK -- OH, THEY SO UGLY!

DRACULA THINK THESE POTATOES

NEED MORE SALT.

NO, HONEY, THE DOCTOR SAID

YOU GOTS TO CUT BACK.

YOU CAN'T TELL DRACULA WHAT

HE CAN AND CAN'T EAT!

GRANDMAMA CAN, DRACULA!

GRANDMAMA CAN.

YES, BABY.

DUDE.

Billy: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE

HAVE TO DO A REPORT ON TALL

TALES.

Grim: HEY!

I WAS AROUND WHEN SOME OF THE

BIG NAMES IN TALL TALES WERE

STILL IN THE SCENE --

PECOS BILL, PAUL BUNYAN,

JOHN HENRY.

Mandy: NAME-DROPPER.

Grim: TALL TALES ARE

IMPORTANT.

THEY'RE WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY

WHAT IT IS TODAY.

Mandy: YOU MEAN A BLOATED,

DIRECTIONLESS, OMNI-CORPORATION

FIXATED ON TAWDRY GOSSIP AND

REALITY TELEVISION?

Grim: YEP.

Irwin: YOU SHOULD SHARE YOUR

STORIES, GRIM.

Grim: PECOS BILL WAS THE

ROOTIN'EST, TOOTIN'EST,

SIX-SHOOTIN'EST,

POOP-SCOOPIN'EST COWPOKE EVER TO

POKE A COW IN THE EYE.

Billy: [ LAUGHS STUPIDLY ]

HE SAID...

Grim: DON'T SAY IT.

Mandy: HE'LL EXPLODE, GRIM.

Irwin: IT'S NOT NATURAL TO

SUPPRESS BODILY FUNCTIONS, YO!

HE'S GONNA BLOW!

[ FARTS, SQUEAKS ]

NO NEED TO THANK ME FOR SAVING

YOUR LIFE, YO.

Mandy: START THE STORY, GRIM,

BEFORE BILLY SPEAKS AGAIN.

Billy: HEY --

Grim: IT WAS WAY BACK WHEN

THE AMERICAN WEST WAS FULL OF

GOLD AND TRAILERS -- INSTEAD OF

JUST TRAILERS.

I WAS DOING A LITTLE BIT OF

WORK, WAITING FOR THE 6:30

TWISTER TO COME THROUGH.

[ WIND HOWLING ]

[ COWS MOOING ]

[ BABY CRYING LOUDLY ]

Gladys: AH! IT'S A TWISTER!

SOMEONE SAVE US!

Grim: [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

SORRY, LADY, NOBODY CAN STOP A

TWISTER THAT SIZE.

YOU'RE ALL DOOMED!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

Billy: NOT SO FAST, TWISTER.

DO NOT FEAR, CITIZENS OF THE

TRAILER PARK.

I, PECOS BILLY, AND MY TRUSTY

STEED, WIDOWMAKER, WILL TAME

THIS TWISTER.

Mandy: "PECOS BILLY"?

Grim: I SWEAR. IT'S TRUE.

HE CALLED HIMSELF PECOS BILL AND

PECOS BILLY BECAUSE OF THE

SOMETIMES-"Y" RULE.

Mandy: ALL RIGHT. WHATEVER.

MOVE ON.

Grim: [ CLEARS THROAT ]

WHERE WAS I?

AH, YES.

PECOS BILLY WAS ALL SET TO DO

BATTLE WITH THE TWISTER.

Billy: DO NOT FEAR, CITIZENS

OF THE TRAILER PARK.

I, PECOS BILLY, AND MY TRUSTY

STEED, WIDOWMAKER, WILL TAME

THIS TWISTER.

[ CHEERING ]

Grim: LIKE I WAS TELLING THAT

LADY, NOBODY CAN STOP A TWISTER

THAT SIZE.

HEY, BUT IT'S YOUR FUNERAL!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

[ WIND HOWLING ]

Billy: [ GRUNTING ]

THAT ALL YOU GOT, YOU DIRTY

TWISTER?!

OW!

THAT ALL YOU GOT, YOU --

[ TORNADO GROWLS ]

A-A-A-A-AH!

[ TORNADO ROARS ]

YEE-HAW!

Grim: ALL RIGHT, KID, LET'S

BLOW THIS THING AND GO HOME!

[ CHEERING ]

Gladys: LEFT BUTT, RED.

Grim: AND THAT'S HOW

PECOS BILLY SAVED THE ARIZONA

TRAILER PARK.

Mandy: THAT'S THE MOST

RIDICULOUS STORY I HAVE EVER

HEARD.

Grim: YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING

YET.

IF THAT TALE WASN'T TALL ENOUGH

FOR YOU, LET ME TELL YOU THE

TALE OF THE TALLEST TALL TALE OF

ALL -- PAULA BUNYAN!

Mandy: UM, "PAULA" BUNYAN?

ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE PAUL?

A LITTLE-KNOWN

SOMETIMES-"A" RULE.

ANYWAY...

[ OLD-TIMEY PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ]

A-A-A-A-AH!

YOU MUST PAY THE RENT!

BUT IF YOU SAW ME IN HALF,

HOW CAN I PAY THE RENT, LOSER?

GEE, I HADN'T THOUGHT OF

THAT.

I SUPPOSE YOU CAN PAY ME HALF AT

THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH AND

HALF...IN THE MIDDLE!

[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

Grim: CAN YOU HURRY THIS

SAWMILL THING UP ALREADY?

I'VE GOT OTHER APPOINTMENTS.

LOOK, THIS IS MY LAND, BUDDY.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO ON MY

LAND.

[ THUMPING, RUMBLING ]

[ SHRIEKS ]

THIS IS MY LAND, YOU BIG LUMMOX!

YOU'RE RUINING MY...

SOD.

Mandy: IT'S GONNA BE A COLD

WINTER.

I'LL NEED THIS WOOD.

WOOD.

AAH! HELP!

THIS HEAT IS GIVING ME SPLIT

ENDS!

Grim: WELL, THIS IS JUST AS

GOOD AS A SAW, I SUPPOSE.

YOU GIANT, MELON-HEADED, APE

CREATURE!

YOU'VE RUINED MY LAND AND TAKEN

MY DAMSEL IN DISTRESS.

YOU SET THINGS RIGHT THIS VERY

INSTANT, OR, SO HELP ME, I'LL

SUE YOU SO HARD, YOUR BANK

ACCOUNT WON'T KNOW ITS FEES FROM

ITS ASSETS!

Mandy: FINE.

TALK TO MY LAWYER -- BABE.

HEY, BABE?

[ SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]

I'VE GOT A GUY OUT HERE WHO

WANTS TO SUE ME.

[ SHRIEKS ]

[ SHRIEKS ]

[ SHRIEKING ]

Grim: 2-FOR-1!

THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME.

I'M STILL ALIVE.

Grim: SO, MANDY, THAT'S HOW

THE GRAND CANYON WAS BORN.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR ANOTHER

TRUE TALL TA--

WELL, I SAVED THE BEST TALL TALE

FOR LAST.

I KNOW YOU CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR

IT.

THIS ONE'S A DOOZY, THE BEE'S

KNEES, I TELL YOU.

A TALE OF LOVE AND TRAGEDY.

THIS IS THE BEST TALL TALE OF

THEM ALL, SO YOU'D BETTER LISTEN

TO IT!

Irwin: YES, SIR, YO.

Billy: OH, MY GOSH.

I PEED MYSELF.

Grim: THE TALE OF JOHN HENRY.

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT.

Billy: HEY, NONNY-NONNY!

CHUG-A-CHUG-A, CHUG-A-CHUG-A!

WHO-O-O-O-O!

ALL RIGHTY, THEN.

ON THIS, THE FOURTH DAY OF JUNE

IN THE YEAR

ONE-AUGHT-NEENER-NEENER, WE BEAR

WITNESS TO ONE OF THE SINGLE

GREATEST SHOWDOWNS OF OUR AGE --

MAN VERSUS MACHINE!

WHO WILL DIG THROUGH THE

MOUNTAIN FASTER?

WH-O-O-O WILL SURVIVE?

Grim: I'VE GOT 10 BUCKS ON

THE MACHINE.

Irwin: I'LL WIN THIS CONTEST

AND THE HAND OF MY LADY LOVE,

YO.

Billy: AND...

THEY'RE OFF!

Sperg: [ LAUGHS EVILLY ]

Irwin: I'M DOING IT ALL FOR

YOU, BABY!

A-A-A-A-AH!

Grim: DRAT!

HE'S KEEPING PACE.

I CAN'T LET THIS GUY WIN.

I NEED THAT 10 BUCKS FOR GAS.

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

Irwin: THIS AIN'T FAIR, YO.

THAT THING'S ON 'ROIDS!

OH, NO!

HYAH!

Billy: AND THE WINNER IS WHO?

THE MACHINE!

YOU RAPSCALLION.

Mandy: SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO

WHAT'S-HIS-FACE?

Grim: JOHN HENRY?

OH, I SUSPECT THAT HE WAS

DIGGING SO FAST THAT HE BROKE

THE LAWS OF PHYSICS AND ROCKETED

INTO THE EIGHTH DIMENSION.

WE ARE SMUCKTROIDS OF THE

EIGHTH DIMENSION.

YOU WILL LIVE HERE NOW AND ENJOY

OUR CULTURE AND MARRY ONE OF OUR

DAUGHTERS.

Irwin: MARRY AN ALIEN?

THAT'S EVERY BOY'S DREAM!

[ ROARS ]

[ SLURPING ]

Irwin: I'M GONNA GO HOME AND

WRITE MY REPORT.

Billy: OOH, I LIKE THE ONE

ABOUT THE PLATYPUS.

THAT'S THE ONE I'LL WRITE ABOUT.

Mandy: IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T

FIGURED IT OUT, HE'S TRYING TO

GET YOU ALL F's.

Billy: I CAN GET AN "F" ALL

BY MYSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Irwin: MANDY, WAIT UP, GIRL!

Billy: SABOTAGE!

Grim: HMPH!

WAS MY PLAN THAT TRANSPARENT?

STILL, IN EVERY TALL TALE, NO

MATTER HOW TALL, THERE'S ALWAYS

A BIT OF TRUTH.

[ GASPS ]

Billy: YEE-HAW!

Grim: [ GROANS, WHIMPERS ]