Original subtitles

- Previously, on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- With your husband, do you go to dinners with him,

like, with clients and things?

- Yes.

- But I bet people are surprised when you show up, right?

- Not anymore.

- You have great intellect, but you have great insight.

- You have a powerful presence.

Lisa knows she's charming,

and she knows when she can get you.

- Kept going on and asking more and more things about it,

and "Is that when the affair started?

Is that what happened?"

- Darling, I wouldn't want to ask you anything

that you wouldn't want to tell me.

- I kind of now feel like I offended her,

which is weird.

- What's going on with Anwar and Bella's Lyme disease?

- She says it's true, then she knows more than I do.

- What does Mohamed say? - No.

- Yolanda said that

she could have put it out there

that you were bipolar,

but she chose not to do that.

- You labeled Kim last year,

you labeled Brandi, and now you're labeling me.

- And I'm sorry about that.

It's like putting a Band-Aid on,

but there's still blood gushing all over the place.

I feel like I can't let go of you now.

[upbeat music]

- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills, you can be anything,

but it's most important to be yourself.

- I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- Don't hate the game.

Just marry a player.

- I'm passionate about dogs, just not crazy about bitches.

[upbeat music]

- You have your ass pads in? - Feel 'em.

- Oh, my God. - [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Hey, there. - We're ready.

- Has our group arrived yet?

I'm at an advantage 'cause I do this all the time,

but he hasn't been spinning for a long time.

- Are we gonna have to build houses after this?

- Uch, I don't know.

Richard! - Muah, thank you for coming.

- You know I have, like, the endurance of a gnat.

- Hello, ladies.

- How are you?

Donnie. Thank you so much, brother.

- Yeah, absolutely.

- So Kyle, what are we doing today?

- They're affiliated with Habitat for Humanity.

They choose a family to build a home for

and we come here, we raise money, and we go out there

and we actually help build the homes for the family.

- When do we do that? - Are we gonna do that?

- In two weeks or something like that.

- Mauricio and his company, The Agency,

partnered with SoulCycle to raise money

for Giveback Homes.

- There's so many people in here.

- This isn't a private party.

This is for charity. Get your ass on the bike.

Each person in this class has donated $250 minimum.

- Let's have some fun, huh?

Let's raise some money, and let's have some fun.

- Yes! - Thank you.

- I would love it if you'd stay for 45 minutes.

- 45 minutes? Are you out of your mind?

- Let... hold on. I gotta be with Mo.

- Did he say "Four to five minutes"

or "45 minutes"?

- Four to... [laughs] 45!

- I'd rather do four to five minutes,

and then I'll write a check.

45 minutes is not gonna happen.

Haven't done 45 minutes straddling anything.

Well, not since 1984.

- Hey, everybody!

[cheers and applause] Whoo!

- I know we've raised somewhere around $10,000 here today.

On behalf of Kyle and myself,

we're gonna make a donation of $5,000 today.

- Raising money via SoulCycle classes

is the new wave of the future in Beverly Hills.

Forget bake sales, standing in the street.

Are you kidding me?

- How much do I have to donate

if I wanna go straight home?

- At least a house.

- Follow me, keeping in mind

that every bike is a little different,

every body is a little different,

so just honor whatever you carried in here today.

Any trouble, any drama, any fears

that you may have carried into the room.

What if you just felt all of that stuff melt away?

- Hear what he's saying?

They say inspiring things.

- Yeah?

- Are we starting to get sweat a little bit yet?

- Oh, no way!

[dance music]

Ha! Ow!

Four... three...

two, let it go, find the beat, right foot...

- Ooh, that instructor, honey. He was living!

Richard Simmons, Zoolander,

crossed with, like, West Hollywood fabulousness.

- I'd like to go home now.

- Lisa, are you starting to believe yet?

Am I making you a believer?

- Oh, bless Vanderpump's heart.

Oh, she's just not used to it.

She's just not built for this kind of activity.

- Mauricio, this is an awesome event.

Thank you for having us.

- Ross, thank you so much.

- Great job, guys.

- [laughs]

She came in pink patent leather pumps

for the class.

Seriously.

- Vanderpump!

Are you taking a shower?

- Yeah. - Whoo!

- The SoulCycle event was a huge success.

We raised a lot of money

and everyone had fun.

Except Lisa Vanderpump.

I don't think she had fun.

- She wants to come back tomorrow with me.

I was like, "Why?" - Lot of energy.

- Actually, my first and last time.

- Okay, honey, I love you.

- All right, I love you. I gotta go do a showing.

- I'm going to lunch with the girls.

Thank you. - Thank you, guys.

- I'll ride on there.

[upbeat music]

I loved it. - Lisa loved it too.

Lisa was dying, talking the whole time,

chewing my ear off.

Lisa's workout is lifting her diamond watch.

Like this. - Yeah.

- She lifts rocks.

♪ ♪

- Thank you. Hi, how are you?

- Thank you.

- Oh, thank God. It's cooled down.

- Yummy. Thank you.

- Who else is coming?

- Yolanda and Eileen are coming.

I thought Yolanda didn't feel well enough.

- She texted me yesterday.

And said, if she was feeling well enough,

she was even going to come and spin.

- No. - Yeah.

- The last time I saw Yolanda

and Lisa Rinna was at Erika's house,

and it didn't really seem like they resolved anything

with the "bipolar" comment.

- What you never said to her was the bipolar comment.

- That's mean.

- She didn't really say you were bipolar.

She said, "I didn't call Lisa bipolar,

and I could have."

- Because of how I acted with your sister last year.

- So I'm kind of curious to know

where they're at right now.

- Hi, you guys! - Hi there! You look nice.

- How are you? - Muah, muah.

- Did you just come from work? - I came from work.

What do you want on your guacamole?

- Tomatoes, cilantro, jalapenos? - All of them. All of it.

If someone says they don't want all of it,

they don't want good guacamole.

- Or they have to kiss somebody at their job tomorrow.

- You have to kiss someone at your job?

- No, I don't. I don't. I'm just saying.

No, actually, I have to say,

things are kind of dry for Ashley right now.

She's not... she's got no action. - Who do you kiss?

Who's your guy? - Nobody.

She's in love with her daughter's fiancé.

- [gasps] - Ooh!

- Tramp! - Scandalous!

- Have you guys, like, gotten it together?

- No, we took a shower together last year.

- What? - What?

- Oh! - I know.

He dragged me into the shower and ripped my shirt off.

What are you doing?

- You said you wanted to help sober me up, didn't you?

- This isn't exactly what I had in mind.

- Me neither, but it's working.

- Let me ask you: did you like it?

When he actually did it, did you like it?

- I've got to tell you, quite honestly,

it's very technical.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it really is.

And you just want to make sure it looks good,

and that it's sexy, and that

the shower's not hitting the wrong place.

- They ripped it all off?

- Lookit, you're so funny!

Maybe Lisa Vanderpump wants to be in a shower

getting her shirt ripped off.

- Hi! all: Hi!

- Happy birthday! - Oh, thank you!

- Oh, for God's sakes. Seriously?

- Thank you. - Happy birthday, honey.

- Thanks, darling. - Okay, I have a question.

Was this a birthday lunch that nobody told me about?

- No, it wasn't. - We don't have a present.

- No. - Right.

- Well, it's another year, I'm older and wiser,

but I don't want to make a big deal

about my birthday this year.

But you know what? I love the fact that

Yolanda bought me pink flowers.

It's a gesture,

and it's noted.

- So how was the... the biking? - Oh, my God.

You're so lucky you missed that class.

Yolanda, you have no idea.

- You know, I haven't been in the gym for three years.

Obviously, if I was healthy,

I'd be spinning my little ass off there,

but, you know, that's just not where I'm at.

- Whenever people say, "Oh, my God,

you're in such good shape, what are you on?"

Like, "What are you doing?"

I always say, "It's HWB."

- What is that? - It's "hard work, bitch."

- Let me see. Let me feel. - Go ahead.

- Oh! - Jesus!

No, make a muscle. [laughs]

- Kathryn and I, we're just gonna box.

We're gonna do some mitts. - Oh, I love boxing.

- I know. - I would love to kick your ass.

- Honey, you can't kick my ass.

- She's like so serious. Oh, my God.

- Wait, what do you want of this?

- Look at this, Eileen. Look. - She scares me.

- What do you want? - You're right.

I'm getting myself into trouble here with this girl.

She's taking me literally.

- No, we're not boxing each other.

- Oh, we're not?

- You're not going in a ring.

- Easy, I need you guys on Saturday.

- What are we doing Saturday?

- We're just gonna have a little dinner at Wally's.

- At Wally's? - Yeah.

- Oh, I thought we were going to your house.

- No, it's too far.

You know, I haven't entertained

for the last 11 months,

so I would love to throw a little dinner party

at Wally's so I don't have the pressure of

having to hire people to cook and clean and all that.

And where is, uh... where is Lisa?

- She's working. - Oh, good.

Did I hear that, uh, Harry might be

winning an Emmy?

- "Mad Men" is nominated, and he was on that.

- He was amazing in that, yeah.

- Are you guys okay now?

- Yeah. - You and Lisa Rinna?

- Yeah, why?

Yeah.

- You never know. - We were okay the week before.

Let's not start about this again.

- Yes.

- It's just strange to me how

everybody can say something rude,

and have an argument, and then hug it out,

or send flowers, and then pretend like everything's fine

when it's very obvious that it's not.

I don't think that Yolanda knows that

Lisa Rinna knows about Yolanda saying

that Lisa Rinna was bipolar.

- Yes, she does. - How?

- She did. She said it at the table.

- I'm not getting involved with that.

- What'd you say?

- They can deal with it themselves.

- What are you guys talking about over there and whispering?

- Yeah, what are you talking about?

- No, we were talking about the conversation with Lisa Rinna

after Yolanda left.

- About bipolar?

- Yeah.

[tense music]

- Coming up...

- I hold a lot in the vault.

- Are you threatening me?

♪ ♪

- Have you strapped one on yet and tried that?

- Yes.

No, I think a dildo's just a good thing.

- Yeah, what are you talking about?

What are you saying?

- No, we were talking about the conversation

with Lisa Rinna after Yolanda left.

- About bipolar?

- Yeah.

- Lisa Rinna says you said she was bipolar.

- I never said Lisa Rinna was bipolar.

From judging her by her behavior,

if you throw a glass of wine at somebody,

send somebody a text message saying,

"I'm gonna come and fááá you up,"

and then put the seed that somebody

has a Munchausen-whatever disease,

I could potentially call her bipolar,

but I would never do that because

it's not my place to do so.

Right? - Yeah.

- Lisa also didn't say "You have Munchausen's."

She said someone else did, so you're saying,

"I could say you have bipolar." It's the same kind of thing.

It's putting it out there anyway.

- Her and I worked it out,

and now you're bringing it up again.

I... I told her that...

- I wasn't bringing it up to you, Yolanda.

We were... we were just having

a conversation privately.

- Yolanda hasn't been around a lot,

and she's taking this kind of hard line.

Kyle's getting frustrated

because Yolanda's being so dismissive.

Kind of condescending right now.

- Obviously Lisa said something after Yolanda left

that they never got any closure on.

- Listen, I mean, it's not the first time

that somebody at a table is gonna say,

"What's going on with," you know,

"so and so?"

Is... I mean, hello?

- The two of you are just, like,

whispering about that subject is ridiculous.

[tense music]

Kyle and Lisa whispering

strikes a nerve in me.

That's the first thing I taught my children.

You don't whisper, you know,

like this, in a group of women.

- Lisa Rinna came to us,

at her house, and said the Munchausen thing.

So we're already involved!

We're there. We got sucked in. - But it's done. It's done.

Lisa and I, we've worked it out.

We worked through it.

- I'm uncomfortable.

I like Kyle, and I like Yolanda.

And I don't like it when things like this happen.

- You guys are done? I don't care.

It's none of my business. I'm...

- Oh, you're making it your business.

- You put a group of women together,

immediately they start tearing each other down,

angling, who's better friends with this one,

who likes that one, "You said"...

I don't give a sháá.

- So, I don't care. Whatever. - It's fine. It's fine.

Just relax. Have a glass of wine.

- Yolanda, I mean, come on.

Give me a fáááing break.

♪ ♪

Give me a break.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Lisa, I'm gonna walk you in. - Great.

- You're gonna be sitting to Jenny's left.

- Is she here? Is she here?

[screaming]

- You look gorgeous.

- I just got my face injected, so it's sore.

Be careful.

I saw Terry Dubrow yesterday.

- Did he do it? - He did... Sculptra?

- Why have I not done it? I've done everything...

- Well, because your face is perfect!

- No, Jenny. - Look how cute you are.

Jenny and I have known each other for so many years,

it's so fun to go on

and hang with your girlfriends.

I mean, how hard is that?

- I am so excited that you're co-hosting.

- I can't believe we're doing this finally.

- We're both talk-aholics. Good luck to us both.

- Good luck to us both. Good luck to the world.

- [laughs]

- Jenny's fearless, and I love working

with people who are fearless.

She's honest, and she's a girl's girl,

and she doesn't need to put you down

in order to feel good about herself.

- Welcome to "Dirty Sexy Funny." I'm Jenny McCarthy.

[drumming on knees]

Lisa Rinna joining me today.

- Jenny! Hi!

- I love you. - I love you.

You know, we go way back.

- Let's give people the history a little bit.

- Okay.

- So, I moved to Sherman Oaks,

and Lisa opened up a shop,

and I feel like I was, like, one of your first customers.

- You were, I think.

- And you were like, "Oh, my God, hi.

I'll give you a celebrity discount."

- [laughing]

- I was like, "Thank you, Lisa."

- So gracious of me. - So gracious of you.

- I have to stay relevant.

It's part of my job.

I shamelessly stay relevant.

Of course. Honey.

We got bills to pay.

- A Tennessee woman was arrested Sunday

for allegedly threatening to post, on social media,

nude pics of a woman she found

on her boyfriend's phone.

Have you ever gotten nervous with Harry at all?

Mm. - Here's the thing with Harry.

It's really the guys that I'm more nervous about.

It's the guys that want to fááá Harry.

- Does he appreciate the male physique at all?

[playful music]

- No, I will tell you that... - Okay, so he loves pussy.

- Harry likes pussy. Period.

- Have you strapped one on yet and tried that?

- Yes. - It doesn't make you gay.

- No!

When I was very young, my mom said to me,

"That mouth of yours

is gonna get you into trouble someday."

I don't know why I even strapped it...

I think I just wanted to try it.

This mouth has gotten me into so much trouble,

and I've also made a giant, enormous amount of money

from this mouth getting me in trouble.

♪ ♪

No, I think a dildo's just a good thing.

- I do too.

- A big one.

[laughter]

You're so good. You're such a natural.

[hip-hop music]

- I'm telling you not to talk about me or Lisa Rinna

when Rinna's not here to defend herself.

- I was talking to a close friend of mine

in a corner, alone. - A close friend of yours?

- You guys were having a conversation.

- Please.

- Well, we are close friends right now.

- Good.

They're close friends when it works in their favor.

- Oh... - Wait, I owe you one!

- [screams]

- And, at times, they're not.

- At least admit one thing you've done wrong.

- Kyle, I was... - Can you not say one thing?

- So, little bit suspicious to me.

I get what you're saying, Kyle,

I'm just asking you to drop it.

I hold a lot in the vault, honey.

- What does that mean? Are you threatening me?

- It means that... no, not at all. Not at all.

No, I have more integrity than that.

Why are you so angry today?

- Because you are being rude to me, Yolanda.

- I am not being rude.

I don't intend to be rude at.

- I think everyone at the table may beg to differ.

I would think. I don't know.

- You know it's funny, it's so much of, like,

it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

- Even if you say it in a nice, calm voice

with a smile on your face, you know what I'm talking about.

- I'm not... I honestly am not trying

to be rude with you at all.

- Yes, Yolanda had tone.

100%, Yolanda had tone with Kyle.

But she doesn't want to hear it,

she wants to have a nice luncheon,

and boom, you know, right away,

here we go again.

- I mean, Lisa's obviously got

residual feelings about

even the "bipolar" label being out there.

- Yeah, I still have mixed feelings about the Munchausen...

- And I understand that. - And your shááá

about my children, but I don't bring it up.

- What do you mean, and my sháá about your children...

I've never talked sháá about your children,

and I defended your children

when that... the town drunk

turned around and she said,

"Oh, Bella, it's reported that she's an alcoholic."

- You're saying, am I an alcoholic?

You heard that about your daughter.

- I didn't need you to stand up...

My daughter is not an alcoholic.

- I think what she's saying is that

she never said anything about your kids.

- No, I would never say anything negative.

- That's all, she's just trying to keep that straight.

- Never.

[tense music]

All right. I'm going to go.

I will see you. I will see you again.

And I'm gonna go do what I've got to do.

- Okay, bye. - I'll talk to you later.

- Bye. - [smooches]

♪ ♪

- I'm done.

I answered a question,

and said that I thought they were healthy.

If that's talking sháá about her kids, then...

but no, I never have, and I never will.

- Yeah.

- I would have really appreciated

Lisa staying here and supporting me in this moment,

considering Yolanda was angry with both of us.

It's stupid.

♪ ♪

Excuse me.

Could we get the check, please?

♪ ♪

[sighs]

- Coming up...

- I think she engages from the side.

I think she doesn't want to leave any fingerprints.

- Don't get caught in her web.

♪ ♪

- All the way from Brentwood!

- Hey, babe!

- I appreciate you coming over.

Let's eat first, and then we'll work out.

♪ ♪

- Is that a cinnamon roll? - It is.

- Oh, I love you.

- Pretty day today. - This is beautiful.

Honestly, that looks so custard-y and delicious.

I know you made this too. - I slaved all day.

Look, I don't cook.

You know, I went right to the cute place around the corner

and got the food.

I did not... I don't make sháá.

- Tell me about you. - What do you want to know?

Why do you want to know, first.

- I want to know because I want to be your friend.

- Okay. - And I feel like

I can't be good friends

if I don't know who you are

and what you're about.

I want Erika to open up to me a little bit.

I want to know why she is the way she is,

that she's so closed off,

and she kind of, like, has, like,

this whole persona that

she doesn't want to let anyone in.

- I'm cold. - Are you cold?

- Very. - Really?

- Very fáááing cold. - She's a ice princess.

Do you have women friends?

- I have never been well-liked by women.

I think I could point back to being a child.

I was very open and sensitive and artistic,

and I think that I got my feelings hurt

by a group of girls when I was in middle school,

and that's... - Mean girls?

- Yeah, pretty much.

I want to have a group of women friends.

I've never had a group of women friends,

and the reason is because I just don't trust it.

It's not that I'm not open

to having women friends,

because I have them.

They're just few and far between.

I want really good women in my life,

not just any old broad that comes in.

I'm a lot to handle, and I look at certain way.

- You feel like you get judged. - Very quickly.

Well, Yolanda's my friend.

She's loving. She's compassionate.

She's kind of like my go-to guy.

Except she's a girl. [laughs]

I'll tell you, the closest

was my grandmother that I lost.

She had a long battle with Alzheimer's,

and I'm glad that that's over for her.

- Oh, honey.

- Oh, no, it's fine. I mean, that...

I put this in perspective long ago.

You know, she was great.

She was really good.

- And you trusted her. - But... oh, my God, yeah.

- That's... - She and I were close.

But, you know. Things happen.

People get old. They die.

It's the natural way of life.

- I see the pain, I see the love,

and I think, when she lost her grandmother,

that she lost a big part of that...

That safe place.

It makes me understand her more

because what I went through with my father dying.

When you want to get on the phone

and just, like, call someone and talk, and like, just yak...

- She's gone. She's dead. - Your grandma.

- [chuckles] I'm still the same brat...

[laughs]

That, uh,

I was when she was alive.

I-I don't think I've changed much

since she, uh, passed away.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

I definitely miss her.

Very much.

- You can call me.

I will be your first genuine woman friend.

- Like, you're not gonna side with someone

and go run off with them...

- If someone did something

where the other person really couldn't defend themself...

- You would step in. - Yeah, I... yeah.

- There are cool girls everywhere,

and there are bitches everywhere.

You know, you just have to weed through and find out.

I got news for you.

I think all of these bitches can defend themselves.

- I agree. Some more than others.

- Yeah.

It is a case by case basis.

What do you think of Lisa Vanderpump?

- She's a nice... she's so... she...

- [forced laughter] - She's not sweet?

- No.

- So you're saying she's underhanded.

[lively music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, how are you? - Hello, Lisa, nice to see you.

- Where are the flowers here?

- They moved them right here.

- Okay, put them back.

Well, okay, I'm going to sit over here.

- Right. - Been so crazy busy.

I haven't been here that much.

Can I have a glass of rosé, please?

- And a beer for me, please, young man.

- So what's going on? I just... I was in PUMP,

and I walked past Chi Chi LaRue,

and they've moved out.

The sex shop's moved out. It's gone.

- It's nice in here. - Oh, my God.

Some of this looks a bit bizarre even to me.

- Yeah, but we're not looking at the stock,

we're looking at the premises.

I'm paying rent on it.

- We are paying rent on it.

- I'm using my savings. - You and me.

Your savings and my savings.

- No, I'm... I've put it up for a temporary let.

I've got five people looking at it.

- What's the city said? - It's in planning.

At this moment, there's no fourth restaurant,

and the pressure's off.

I feel happy if Lisa feels happy, so...

- So, I went to, um...

I went to the SoulCycle.

Literally, I was, "Okay, I'm over this."

I'm gonna kill Kyle.

[upbeat music]

- Annoying.

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

- Coming. One second.

Look at you! - Hi!

Oh, my gosh. Come in.

- So, I want a little catch-up time.

- Oh! [laughing]

Oh, well there's lots to fill you in on.

- Yes, I have a feeling. - Come in.

- You look pretty! Hi.

- Well, you have a feeling 'cause you saw the email.

- Yes, I did. - Brutal.

- So, I... my head is spinning.

- Yolanda wrote me an email,

and CC'd all the women in the group.

I thought she always makes a point to say,

"If you have a problem, we keep it between us.

You come to me to talk it out,"

so why does she send a scolding email

to me and CC everyone else?

- What happened? What's going on?

- Well, okay.

We all went, after the SoulCycle thing, to Frida...

- Yeah. - [sighs] This is...

It's just, the whole thing with Yolanda's so... you know...

- And she was there. - She came.

Which was great. - Yeah.

- We've had zero issues. - Right.

- Now she sends an email

addressed to me, basically scolding me...

[rousing music]

♪ ♪

- At lunch, I was just so frustrated.

When things are said in a stressful situation,

my brain shuts down,

so then I can't say

what I want to say,

so I got up in the middle of the night

and wrote an email to Kyle...

- "Kyle, I've been thinking about yesterday,

and you know, I don't appreciate"... and telling me,

"You should research Lyme disease.

It's not a pretty look for you not to be"...

First of all, I am sympathetic.

I've always said that.

- I explained to her,

from a very clear point of view,

what I had to say about her behavior,

and I wanted all the other girls

to hear it as well.

- I did see the email in the... You know, like,

11th hour, and I was like...

- And CC-ing all of you?

"I'm coming out of a three-year ordeal

"of living in a mentally paralyzed cocoon

"due to an infection in my brain

call neuroborreliosis."

- "I arrived with a great attitude yesterday,

"and proud of myself for making it out of bed

and joining you girls."

"For you to come down on me so hard

"is beyond my understanding,

and it left me quite confused."

- "I just trying to catch up and participate.

"I don't need your pity, but I do ask you kindly

to respect my situation."

- "Your lack of compassion is not a pretty look."

- She was like, you know,

"I'm over this," you know,

"the Munchen... munchen... whatever."

- Right. - And, um, "I'm over the bipolar

and you talking sháá about my kids,"

she said to Lisa.

- None of it makes sense.

It is passive aggression at its finest.

And projection.

There's something going on.

- Then Lisa just leaves. - She did?

- It just, you know,

it got... not good.

- Me. Me!

Talking sháá about kids. I was just pissed off.

I was pissed off. - Uh, but, really,

that's annoying when somebody

attacks you over something that you never said...

- I know, I know. - And never would do.

- I don't understand it.

Anyway, look,

just telling you what happened at drinks.

So I left,

and then I got this email

that wasn't addressed to me. It was addressed to Kyle.

So there's obviously pretty intense feelings.

- And then she said... on top of all that, she says,

um, "You know, I have things in my vault

that I could bring up and I don't talk about."

- What does that mean? - I mean, is that a threat?

I don't even know what that means.

- Well, it sounds like a threat.

I mean... - Yeah.

- "Things in my vault"?

A good friend doesn't store secrets

to use them at a later date.

It's very similar to Kim saying,

"I know something about your husband."

- Let's talk about the husband.

- Oh, wait. Excuse me?

Did you just say, "Let's talk about the husband?"

- Let's not talk about what you don't want out.

- Never go after... - Everybody will know!

Everybody will know... - My fáááing husband!

That's a vicious, mean,

narcissist that does that.

It's an empty threat,

and only pussies do that.

If you want to think that... You know,

two moments of me, like, losing my sháá

are making me look like I'm bipolar,

okay, but I understand

why she'd want to... You know, do that.

- Yeah, yeah. - I do. I get that.

You want to hurt back. - Yeah.

- At the end of the day, I have a lot of sympathy for her.

I really do.

Now, will we ever be best friends?

Maybe not.

It's all very strange.

Anyway, I gotta go, because I have got

Kyle, Kathryn, and Eileen

coming 'round to the house.

Erika and Rinna can't make it.

I'm gonna have an early dinner with them, and

I know you've got a meeting... - What am I doing?

- You've got a meeting at 6:00.

I know your schedule.

I know what you're doing before you even do it.

- That's true.

- Okay, so I have to go to four Emmy parties

with my husband.

- And a red carpet, probably.

- Yeah, no, I'm putting on my Mrs. Harry Hamlin hat

and, you know, I'm actually quite glad

that I'm not going to join any of you.

- Yes.

[upbeat music]

- Vanderpump? She's not sweet?

- No, she is sweet.

But she's smart.

I think she engages from the side.

I think she's a sniper from the side.

I think she doesn't want to leave any fingerprints.

That's what I think.

I can sense Lisa Vanderpump...

crafting the situation to her advantage.

Well, it started in the Hamptons with Eileen.

- You did say to me,

"So, is that when the affair started?"

- Yeah, I just wish, at the time, you'd have said,

"Oh, you know what, you're asking me too many questions."

- I was just trying to tell you what I was feeling.

- Okay. Don't worry about it.

- And then I watched the stuff

with Yolanda and her children.

- He didn't think that they had it.

- He doesn't think they have it?

- No, I don't want to get involved.

- And it just seems as if there's this

current, or this tone,

moving everything to her advantage.

She's not gonna be blunt

'cause she doesn't think it'll serve her later.

- Because it comes back and bites her in the ass?

- Perhaps. - Doesn't make her look good?

- Right. - To be honest?

- She's selectively honest.

I think some people are more manipulative than others.

- Oh, absolutely. - You know?

- I think some people can spot that more than others.

- You know, it is what it is.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Coming up...

- Ken, will you call the ponies?

- "Call the ponies!" - "Bring the giraffe!"

- "And where is that zebra?" - "Where's the llama?"

It's like Noah's ark. [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Rocio, any chance of a cup of tea?

- I know you're... - On my lazy ass.

Gracias.

This could go horribly wrong.

- It's nice. Your pink flamingo.

- Thank you.

It was my birthday yesterday,

and I wanted to float around on a pink flamingo,

and I loved every pink inch of it.

Rocio, is the chicken almost done?

- Yeah.

- Do you want to just take it out?

The chicken? - Yeah, okay.

[techno music]

♪ ♪

- What do you want to serve your friends, drinks-wise?

- The cheapest crap we want to get rid of.

[laughter]

- You have to be kidding me.

This is too funny, and you have got a cup of tea.

Where's the ponies?

- Oh, they're out playing. They'll be in later.

- This is like a petting zoo.

You know, it's like Noah's ark.

We've got the puppies, we've got the ponies,

we've got the swans.

This is not normal Beverly Hills.

- Let's go downstairs.

We'll have a drink in the wine bar.

- Okay. - And then we're gonna eat.

- Hi, Hanky and Panky.

♪ ♪

- I thought we'd just have a glass of wine and sit here.

- This is lovely. I've never been down here.

Wow. - Thank you.

- That's beautiful.

This is gorgeous.

- Oh, thanks, darling.

So this is our little wine bar.

Well, do you remember, Bethany had a wine bar,

and I was just like, "I don't want to compete!"

- Oh, this is your own bar.

- What do you think, Ken? You approve?

- I love it. Yes.

- Hello, ladies. - Hi!

- Hi, sweetie pie. - Muah!

- Hi, girls. both: Hi!

- How are you? - Good.

How are you? - Good.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you.

- Hi, how are you? - Muah!

- [gasps] - Oh, no!

- Schnooky! - Oh, my gosh!

Can I hold him? - I'm not sure.

- So cute. - Give me a kiss.

All: Oh! - Oh, my gosh.

- Sexy boy! - I want to get a dog.

- Isn't he a sexy boy? - I'll let you hold him.

- Thank you. Hi, mommy.

- No way!

I have a new dog, Schnooky,

and I am absolutely in love

with his little furry body.

Come on, then. Let's go and sit out there.

- Ooh!

[upbeat music]

- Oh, this is pretty in here.

- This is very lovely. - This is so pretty!

- I kind of did it, like, really country down here.

You know? It has a different feel.

- It is really country.

- The boondocks. Country bumpkins.

- Can you even stand it? - Look, there's the retrievers.

They've just come back from a long walk.

- Oh, babies!

- Come on, you guys. Come on. [Schnooky whines]

- He does look like you, Ken.

Hold him up next to your face.

It's like twins. - Oh, yeah.

- He looks like all our animals. That's the problem.

- Come on! - So cute.

- Ken, will you call the ponies?

- "Call the ponies!" - "Ken, bring the giraffe!"

- "And where is that zebra?" - "Where's the llama?"

- What about when I took the llama through your house?

- Oh! - Do you remember?

Have you got a diaper? - She's not going in my house!

- Okay, the party's started!

- I was joking.

- Let me just go and get some crispy rice.

- Oh, let's get some crispy rice!

[laughs] - What is it?

- Look at those boobies! - You mean...

- What's wrong with my tits and my accent?

- Nothing. They're lovely. Both of them are lovely.

[laughter]

- That email was really awkward.

[tense music]

- She's struggling. - I agree.

- And I think that email was her way

of trying to organize her thoughts.

- But, come on.

To basically reprimand me

and include everyone in an email

is a little inappropriate.

It was weird.

- It just pulls everyone in.

Everyone gets pulled in,

and before long, it's like you're in it

whether you wanted to be or not.

Oh... oh, my gosh. Stop it.

Now the ponies are coming in.

- Hi, ponies. - You can't beat this.

Like... - I know, ponies, right?

- I gotta take a picture for Donnie.

He... I told him that there's little ponies,

and he didn't believe me, he's like,

"Come on. Not really."

- Really, I know. That was Ken's birthday present.

- He doesn't believe it.

- Would you like a crispy rice?

They're from my restaurant. - Yeah, I love those.

- Um, anyway, we were just talking about the email.

- [sighs]

- For somebody who's very, like, foggy-headed,

it seemed like a very clear email.

Lisa's not about her being sick. No one doubts she's sick.

We all know... - Said that a million times.

We know she's got Lyme disease.

- She's definitely suffering with Lyme disease

and whatever else it is that she has, and...

- I-I think she feels attacked a lot.

- Uh, excuse me, how did I feel

when she threw that crap out there

about her children? I had to defend myself.

- You never spoke against her children.

- Never! - Ever. Ever.

So clearly, her saying that...

- I never... I wouldn't want to.

- She must not be the biggest fan,

if she's saying that, because that's not even true.

You never said that. And, you know...

- Kyle, are you defending me?

- Well, it's the truth. - Thank you.

- You never said one thing about her children.

- And you know what? They're lovely kids.

- Hi. Fine. How are you? - Hi, Rocio.

- We've just got some roast chicken.

I made it. It was so simple. - Fantastic.

- And just some green salad.

Thanks, Rocio. - You're welcome.

- Did you put my dressing on it?

- Yeah, I did. - Thanks.

- Is that okay for all of you guys?

Do you want a tomato and burrata?

- Nice. - Yes, thank you.

- You know, I had lunch with Erika...

- And you worked out together. - Yeah, we boxed.

- All right. Jab, cross, up. Go.

- Jab, cross... - Beautiful.

- Jab, cross, up.

Ah, aah. And then a cross at the end.

- Who are... who are you hitting right now?

- You know, I really don't have beef with anyone.

I'm good. - How was that?

- It was nice.

She had two trainers come,

and quite handsome.

- Handsome trainers? - [laughs]

- Did she open up a bit more? - She did.

She actually shed... six tears?

And then we started talking

about Vanderpump.

- What?

- Coming up...

- We're good. - How good?

'Cause I need to be really fáááing good.

She spoke of her grandmother, which is her soft spot.

I mean, like, she had tears come down

and didn't really have expression,

but she sucked it right back up.

And then we started talking about everything else, and...

- What was her take on what happened the other day?

- She said basically, like, in so many words,

that, you know, just to be, like, aware of you.

- Who? - Vanderpump.

- What? - And then she said,

"Don't let her steer you, and

don't get caught in her web."

- Oh. - And I... yeah.

- That's weird.

- Those aren't the words she used, but like,

something like... like, basically,

I got the feeling like I was getting, like,

the... like, the little "Watch your back."

- I think she's a sniper from the side.

I think she doesn't want to leave any fingerprints.

That's what I think.

- I feel like I'm kinda, like, ratting out Erika,

but, you know, like, I'm not saying something

I wouldn't say to everybody.

Erika may not have said exactly,

"Don't get caught in her web,"

but that was the message of it.

It was like, whether she said,

"Don't drink Vanderpump's Kool-Aid,"

She was trying to warn me,

"Don't get fooled by Vanderpump."

Like, you know... like, just...

- "Watch your back." - Yeah.

- "Watch Lisa's cobwebs down there."

- It kind of pisses me off that Erika would say that.

Don't get caught in my web?

I barely have time to go to the bathroom.

What do they think I'm doing? Spinning a web?

I mean, it's just... child's play.

But why would she say that?

"Get tangled in her web?" She said that?

- I didn't know... - Yeah.

- What would be the point of that?

I don't... I'm confused by that.

- Yeah, I'm confused by that. That's weird.

You're your own person. Make your own decision.

- Kathryn telling everybody at the table

what Erika said.

I thought she was smarter than that.

I have a feeling... I think this has to do...

This has to do... this has to do with the Hamptons.

When you and I were talking about what had happened

at the dinner party two nights before.

I think what it was is that

I never really felt like the apology was...

Wasn't super sincere, I felt you felt more

on the spot about it instead of understanding

where I was coming from,

and maybe she picked up on that.

- But that was not a big deal. Ponies are going to wine bar.

- Well, maybe that's it, because she witnessed the whole thing.

- What she's trying to warn me about?

- I can't think of any other thing, can you?

- No.

Seems like making a big deal out of nothing.

- Oh, come on, Eileen.

You must have too much time on your hands

to come up with this conspiracy theory.

"You spin a web because you inadvertently

said something in the Hamptons"?

I thought we talked about that. - It's called communication.

Well, you know, I guess on some level we did,

but it never really felt like

you understood where I was coming from.

- I said I'm sorry if I was

clumsy with words and you said...

- You said you were sorry you asked too many questions.

- Yeah.

I apologize if I...

asked you too many questions... [laughs]

I'm sorry for asking you about your life,

but I only ever looked at your relationship...

- Well, that's not my life.

That's a tiny part of my life. - Okay.

Well, I can't do anything right, then, can I?

I do have a habit of minimizing things.

- That's, honestly... - Maybe I do, maybe I do.

- You know what? - I do minimize.

I always say, "Oh, okay, it's not a big deal."

- And maybe that's a very important thing,

that you have a habit of minimizing, and...

- You're right, I am... - That you didn't hear

what I was really saying, I felt more

that you were thinking about how

you didn't... you felt like I'd offended you

by being truthful with you.

It felt like you just, kind of, dismissed me.

And that we're glossing over things that are uncomfortable.

Maybe that's the problem with Yolanda as well.

It's glossing over things to just carry on,

but things aren't really resolved.

- Oh, my gosh.

Eileen?

You've got balls.

[tense music]

I feel like saying to Lisa,

"Just say 'I'm sorry' and get it over with."

Just say it. It's easy. "I'm sorry."

Done. Bam. Boom. Let's move on.

- The ponies have just run out by the pool,

but you're right.

I-I need to work on that.

Whatever I need to work on.

I do... I don't. I'm not going to...

The ponies have just left and running around the pool.

- Thank God for the ponies.

Once again, I'm just trying to

have a discussion with Lisa Vanderpump,

and she's dismissing me.

She never just looks me in the eye

and talks to me about what happened.

Always deflecting, always moving around it,

always looking for an excuse

not to just talk to me about it.

- Can you pass that over there? - You know what?

It's like... for some people,

being just P.C., and brushing everything

with flowers, this and that, works,

and for other people, it doesn't.

- What makes me sad about this

is that honestly, in just trying to talk to you,

I feel like you feel like I'm attacking you.

- I do. - I know you do.

And that's how you did the first time I brought it up.

I can't express myself to you.

- It's that hard to talk to me? Really?

I invited you to my house

to have dinner the day after my birthday.

You don't even bring me a bloody card,

and it's hard to talk to me?

Really?

Okay, well, I'm... okay, well, what... what can I do?

- Nothing! Nothing! - I'm sorry I...

- It's not... I'm not asking you to do anything, Lisa.

I'm really not. - Right.

- I'm just talking it out,

and letting you know how I was feeling.

You said... - [groans]

I'm a man, I'm not a woman.

I can't deal with this. I can't. I said I'm sorry...

- Again, I'm attacking by trying to talk.

- I get it that Eileen is looking for something,

but the bottom line is,

if you've asked for it three times,

and it's only getting worse,

let it go.

Move on.

- If we can end it here,

I'm truly sorry

for saying the wrong thing.

Asking... asking too many questions,

or saying the wrong thing, or at the wrong time...

- It's okay. It's all right.

- Or at the wrong time, or...

Or for saying anything at all!

- You know what? We're good. - For anything at all.

Are we, or are you gonna bring it up again?

[sighing]

- We're good.

- How good?

How good?

'Cause I need to be really fáááing good

to move on.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- You're right, I'm a terrible fáááing person.

- You don't have to be the victim here.

- [sighs]

- We're good.

- How good?

How good?

'Cause I need to be really fáááing good

to move on.

♪ ♪

- It's fine. It's fine.

- Oh, you're brushing it under the carpet.

- Honestly, I don't think that we're really

gonna understand the situation the same way.

I can tell by the way you're acting right now.

Honestly. That's what I mean.

- Okay, I give up, then. - I understand that you...

I know, I get... I get what you're feeling,

and you think that somehow you can't

do the right thing.

- Maybe we just don't...

Maybe we won't ever get each other.

Maybe I thought we would... - Maybe.

- And maybe we just don't get each other.

- Maybe, that could be. - Okay, I'll go with that.

- Okay. - I'll go with that then.

Eileen seems overly emotional to me.

Maybe we're just built differently.

Just...

- We'll just wrap that up in a bow.

- Okay. Well, I-I'm trying everything.

- Okay. Okay.

Apologizing just because

you don't want to have any confrontation?

I don't need it.

Let's move on. - Okay.

- I'm beyond the apology, people.

I don't care about the apology.

I don't like the way she tries

to get out from under something,

or from just being accountable.

Or taking responsibility. That's it.

- I don't like to make a big deal

and make everything petty and nasty out of fáááing nothing.

- No. No, no.

- Yeah, but Lisa, you're talking about people's feelings.

- You're right, I'm a terrible fáááing person.

- It's not... Lisa, there you go. You just did it again.

- Yeah, you're right. I'm terrible.

- You don't have to be the victim here.

- Mm.

Okay. [sighs]

Does anybody want, um, another bottle of wine?

- Later this season,

on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Welcome to my jewel suite.

- This is incredible. - Beautiful.

Hook a sister up. - Hi, Erika.

- I've been waiting to meet you.

Who did not have a crush on Harry Hamlin, okay?

He's hot. How are you?

- Good. Thanks.

Missed you. Love you. Not really. Awkward.

- We're in Dubai! - This is our room?

- Oh ho! Oh, look at that shark!

[laughing]

[screaming]

- This is magical.

- Are you okay?

- I feel like there's something else.

- Maybe she's the one that's, like...

Fell out of love with him.

- Have more faith in me. - I don't really know how.

- I felt like you just threw a dart at me, honestly.

- I never know what I'm gonna get.

- What would they do if they didn't have anyone to pick on?

- I don't know.

- They'd have to turn on each other.

- My trust issues are through the fáááing roof.

- When you're a people pleaser,

it leaves you open to people manipulating you.

- Wait, wait. I'm not done yet.

- No, no. Wait a minute.

- Why are you being so aggressive?

I would never come to someone's home

and act like a fáááing ass.

- You have to leave. - Hale-fáááing-lujah!

- Your behavior is erratic.

- You can't let it go.

- Lisa Rinna. Think before you speak.

- I feel like you're trying to discredit

my friendship with Yolanda.

- You may be more manipulative than Lisa Vanderpump.

- Kathryn, you're wrong!

- When we were outside, Eileen... Why do you care?

- I will not fáááing tell a lie.

- I've not asked you to tell a lie.

- No, I'm asking you not to tell one!

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to BravoTV.com.