Original subtitles

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- I always liked you. - Yeah.

- I mean, I always thought

you were, like, the greatest girl.

Back in the '90s, Kathryn and I both were single.

We were thinking our sháá didn't stink.

- My sister passed away last year,

and Italy was her favorite place,

and I'm gonna bring some of my sister's ashes.

Love you.

- What's going on with Anwar and Bella's Lyme disease?

- Hey, I don't know.

If she says it's true, then...

- What does Mohamed say?

- No.

- Munchausen is something

that people could create

if they...

might not be sick.

They make themselves sick.

- Do you know Faye Resnick?

- My feelings about Faye Resnick

are not positive.

She mentioned me in her book,

said that I was just some kind of,

you know, "turn the blind eye, look the other way"

kind of wife.

I feel like I'm being phony

if I sit here across the table

and not, like, address the elephant in the room.

[upbeat music]

- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills, you can be anything,

but it's most important to be yourself.

- I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- Don't hate the game.

Just marry a player.

- I'm passionate about dogs, just not crazy about bitches.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, guys.

- Hello!

- Hi!

Where are you?

- I'm in the kitchen!

Cup of tea? - Yes.

It's raining all of a sudden.

- Well, we need it. - Every single...

No, I know; we do need it,

but every time I wash my car, it rains.

I swear to God, even if it's, like...

- Well, that's karma, maybe. - Hot, and...

Karma for what? - Karma for misbehaving.

Karma for being naughty.

Karma for me having a bone to pick with you.

- Okay, go ahead.

What is your bone to pick with me?

- I saw you the day before... What are you looking for?

- Sugar. - You don't...

No, you're not having any. - I don't need sugar.

Go ahead. You were gonna say it. - Yeah, you don't need sugar.

Okay, no, so I saw you the day before your party.

I thought it was a small barbecue.

- It was. - You know...

You know I have an issue with Faye Resnick.

You know... - Oh, my God.

- No, I... I... - Still? Are you being serious?

- Yes. I haven't seen her since then.

- I thought you said you don't hold a grudge.

- Three years ago, Faye kind of attacked me

at my own anniversary party,

and she's never really apologized.

- I just think that everything's just a plot and a plan.

And it's just so... - So you think...

Okay, well, that's such an insult.

So you think... - I am not trying to insult you.

- Yeah, well, you have. I don't like it.

I didn't know Faye well enough, really,

for her to make kind of accusations about my character,

and I still remember that quite clearly.

This was sitting down, a dinner for ten.

You could have said... - Oh, my God.

- No, no, you could have...

- How many times have I sat down at those things

and you had Brandi there when we weren't, you know, speaking?

- No, no, you could have said to me, "I'm having a dinner,

"and Faye Resnick's gonna be there.

I'm letting that orangutan out of its cage."

- That is really rude. - I don't like her.

- If you're still

holding on to something

for three years,

then you're holding a grudge.

Let it go. It's not that big of a deal.

You know what?

I have other things on my mind right now.

Life's too fáááing short.

Can I please have some sugar?

And quit controlling my drink.

[growls]

I want sugar, okay? Leave me alone.

What are you saying? I'm fat?

Ugh. - Here you are.

How much do you want?

- Let me do it. I like to put my own!

- I'll put it in. - Don't be such a control freak!

- If I invited Witchiepoo, how would you feel?

- You know what? "Witchiepoo."

- You thought the star on the back of my neck

was a Jewish star when you know I'm bloody Wicca,

so please, bullsháá.

- By the way, if you don't want to be judged

for being a Wiccan, then don't act like a witch!

If Witchiepoo came,

I would be taken aback, but whatever...

- Well, that's exactly how... - I don't even care.

I don't even dislike the woman. I'm over that.

Bam. Done. - Okay, good.

- I have other problems in my life.

- Okay, so can I invite her on Saturday?

- Sure. I don't care.

Well, Faye will be there Saturday.

- Goody bloody gumdrops, you know?

Because I can't wait to see her right now.

I really can't. Yeah.

It's Kyle's 20th anniversary soon,

and it's Ken and I's 33rd.

We're supposed to be looking at this venue

for our joint anniversary party,

eh... but Kyle...

I'm a little miffed that she invited Faye,

and hopefully, she's not going

to sit on my lap at our joint party.

- She still has never said anything, ever,

against you, just so you know.

- I don't talk about her either.

- Yes, you do. And you call her rude words.

And I'm not gonna say them, because they're mean,

and I don't like it.

- I call her one... - Don't say it.

It's rude, and it's mean.

- Don't you wag your finger at me.

- And it's bullying to call somebody that,

so don't even do that.

- Don't you wag your finger at me.

- I'll wag it at you. - You wanna go?

- Get your ass in the car.

- Don't you wag it in my direction.

- Get your ass in the car.

♪ ♪

- How you feeling? - I want to go on a walk.

I mean, that's like, big. - That's big.

- I haven't walked in,

you know, nine months.

- Let's go to the beach. - You're my first walk.

- Perfect!

- Just a couple of weeks ago,

I was going into surgery not knowing

if I was going to make it through all of that.

- So here's that old silicone.

- And here I am today, you know,

feeling the sand on my feet

and the sun on my skin, and it's just...

life is beautiful.

- Okay, this is... this makes me... - I'm alive!

- You are alive.

This makes me miss my house in Malibu

just a little bit.

- Oh, isn't it beautiful?

- I have not been here in a long time.

- Me too; like, it's been, like, a...

I don't know... Like, a year maybe.

- What did you think of Kyle's last night?

- You know, I was just happy to be out.

- Everybody was happy to see you.

I could tell that.

Everybody was happy to see you.

- Oh... - Oh, my God.

I thought you said barbecue.

- I know, but, you know...

- I mean, you guys look way too cute for a barbecue.

- Look at you!

- So what happened after I left? Anything exciting?

Because I thought it was kind of, like...

I think that Kathryn and Faye

have some sort of a connection, right?

- Yes, they do, and it's very serious.

It's not, like, a... A casual connection.

- Really? - Yes.

- She wrote a book and spoke of me.

- In the book? - Yeah.

So don't act like you know me

when you don't know me.

- So Faye... - Yeah.

- Apologized. - Yeah.

- And Kathryn accepted her apology...

- Well, that's nice.

- And said that, you know,

she was ready to move... you know...

- Move on? - Move on.

- I mean, it's a long... - It was a long time ago.

- It's a long time ago, yeah.

25 years. - Yeah.

Um, Lisa Vanderpump was there.

There's been a little talk

that Bella and Anwar do not have Lyme, or...

- Oh, my God. Are you kidding?

Did they say that?

- I overheard a little bit of something like that.

- That is... - Just a discussion.

- That is insane.

- I'm telling Yolanda what went on at the barbecue

because she has a right to know who's talking about her kids.

I do feel a sense of...

like it's my duty to protect her, in a way.

- Oh, my God. Who said that?

- Lisa and Kyle were discussing it.

- Lisa Vanderpump?

- Yes.

- Oh, my God.

That is just shocking.

Like, it doesn't bother me about me,

but to say that about my children?

Lisa... and she always goes, like,

"Oh, I love your children.

I've known your children since they were little."

And they put that out in the universe?

You kidding? Oh, my God.

I wish they would use their energy

that they're wasting on talking about me,

use it to come and take care of me.

You know, you would think that people

would come closer to you and offer, you know...

- Help. - A helping hand.

- Yeah, a helping hand. - You know, it's okay.

I talked to Lisa Rinna this morning, and...

- What'd she say?

- I would love to take you to lunch

and sit down and, you know,

have a moment with you by myself,

not with any of the other girls,

and just sit down with you.

- I'd love for you to come by and have a coffee.

I mean, I just hear all kinds of stories

about you talking about me,

which kind of surprised me.

Lisa Rinna talking about my illness

behind my back is despicable.

It's really a...

A doubt to my integrity as a woman.

Who in the world has 3 1/2 years to fake to be sick?

- No. - Are you kidding me?

- Yolanda, you're not faking being sick.

- No, but I mean, for what?

- I think this is a good time

for Lisa Rinna to come clean

if she wants to have a relationship with Yolanda.

A friend is supposed to be supportive,

especially in your time of need.

- You know, go and tell people

I'm a bitch or whatever, but don't... don't...

- Don't do that?

- Stoop that low to discredit somebody's disease.

- Right.

- It's an insult.

[upbeat dance music]

- Okay, hold on.

I can't look at my phone right now.

Can you... - No, look at the road.

- I need to pull over to use my...

To look for the map.

I have it here. I have the address here.

Can you just put this in here for me

since I'm driving?

- I'd love to go through your texts.

- 9400 Culver Boulevard. - Oh.

Let's go to Faye and see what she's got to say about me.

- Hey. [laughter]

- Stop... look!

- I don't know what's in there.

- You don't even want me to see

what you've got on your phone...

- No, I don't. - When it comes to her.

- Sneaky type, you would delete, cover your tracks...

- Sneaky type? - Yeah.

♪ ♪

This hotel has a lot of history.

We're gonna make some more history.

How beautiful. I'm so excited.

- Good to see you again. - Nice to see you.

- Hi, my name's Milena. - Hello. Hi.

- Lisa. - Come on in.

- Look at this.

- Oh, yeah, this is great. Kyle!

- Isn't this the perfect vibe?

Look at this bar. - This is really good.

- We decided on a Moulin Rouge theme

for our dual anniversary party

because, let's be honest,

we all want an excuse to wear fishnets

and thigh-highs and look trashy.

Right? - Okay, I love it.

So this place isn't too big, Kyle?

You don't want too many people. - That's why.

If we want a smaller group, we want it to feel intimate.

We didn't want to do, like, a 200-person party.

- You're gonna have to cut your guest list in half.

- No. - Yes.

- No, I have too many friends.

- Well, I can think of one person

you can take off the list.

- Oh, stop.

Don't be a bitch. Sorry. - Oh, please.

Can you believe she'd talk to me like that?

This is what I have to put up with.

If you call having to get your point across

being a bitch, then...

yes, I'm a bitch.

- Oh, my gosh. Lisa.

Look, when you look down, how beautiful this looks.

When anybody misbehaves, we can lock 'em down there.

- We actually have a vault on the second floor

that we can lock people in.

- You have a vault?

- Mm-hmm. When they misbehave.

- Come on... okay.

- Can I reserve a space for somebody, please?

I've been misbehaving enough.

Now I need to back off.

I... I told her how I felt,

and I think once is enough.

Otherwise I might be accused of holding a grudge.

- I'm so excited.

- It's gonna be great.

- This room is, like, amazing.

- It's just heaven, yeah.

- Coming up...

- This is my chapel. - Whoa.

This is a first for me.

This is so crazy.

♪ ♪

[phone rings] - [sighs]

Hello.

- Hi, Erika. It's Lisa. - Hey. Come on in.

♪ ♪

Hi. - Hello!

- How are you? - I'm so good.

- Nice to see you. - Oh, my gosh, nice to see you!

- Thanks for coming out. - It was easy.

- Yeah, not too bad, right? - 20 minutes.

- Right, it's no big deal. - Oh, wow.

[gasps] This is unbelievable.

- She's pretty, right? - Oh!

She's like a museum.

- You want to go on a quick tour?

- Uh, you know I do. - Okay.

This is my library...

- Wow. - Which is kind of neat.

There's a lot of cool sháá in here.

- Since my husband grew up in Pasadena,

I have a little bit of an idea

of what Pasadonians are like.

I'm really interested to see

what Erika's Pasadena is like.

- This is, um, my dining room, which...

You and Harry will have to come over sometime.

- Oh!

Erika's house...

I mean, it's exquisite.

It's exquisite.

It is old money done right.

It makes Lisa Vanderpump's house look like a disco.

It's so very Pasadena.

- Very. - I mean, really.

Like, this captures it.

Oh, he would love to see this.

- Let me take you upstairs,

and I'll show you my chapel.

- Well, of course you have a chapel.

- Yeah, 'cause I need to do a lot of praying.

Okay, so here you go.

- Wow. - This is my chapel.

- Whoa. - Pretty, huh?

- Holy moly.

Unbelievable.

- Neat, right? - Gorgeous.

- I built the chapel because I collect religious art.

I didn't want to have another,

like, pointless room, so I thought,

what could I do?

I could make a space that would be spiritual

and relaxing and pretty.

- Holy cow. This is so crazy.

- Yeah. - Crazy great.

I personally have never heard of anyone

having a chapel in their house.

This is a first for me.

And we all know I've been around a long time.

I've seen a lot of things.

I've done a lot of things.

This is gorgeous. - Have a seat.

Go around. - Oh, my gosh.

Ah! - Fun, right?

- Oh, wow.

Look at this view of this pool

and... I mean, this is...

mwah!

Magnifique!

I really am coming to see Erika

because I just need some advice

on how to approach Yolanda

and to really tell her things

that are very hard

to say to anybody's face.

I rarely get to have a moment

in my day like this, you know?

- Well, that's 'cause you're busy.

- I know, but it's nice to take this time

and have a little moment,

and it's so nice to get to know you.

Both: Cheers!

- To you!

Mmm.

That is some good wine.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Donnie? - Yeah, babe?

- Honey, do you want me to make you some oatmeal?

- Please, lovely, what about with some blueberries?

♪ ♪

- I'm gonna make you tea too, all right?

- Don't put any milk in it, please.

You know I don't like dairy.

- You'll get what I give you. - Okay, babe.

- I want to make sure that we get

to the gym today for sure.

- I'll go with you if you want.

- Just don't tell me what to do.

Donnie and I met through mutual friends.

He didn't speak to me.

And then he put his head down and blushed,

and I was like, "Oh, my gosh, he's shy."

That was it, then.

That was, like, a done deal. I was like, "Okay."

[laughs]

[smooth electronic music]

♪ ♪

Don't beat me up today.

♪ ♪

I've always worked out because being in modeling,

but when I met Donnie,

I was much more into, like,

keeping everything high and tight.

Oh, wow.

That's good, babe.

Because I'm nine years older than him,

I never want to show him, like,

"Oh, I'm, like, going downhill,"

so I'm like, whatever he's doing,

I'm like, "Oh, yeah? Okay."

So I'm always, like, pushing it.

- Ah, there you go. - Don't help me.

- I'm not helping you.

That's good.

- So you know, uh,

we got this Moulin Rouge party coming up.

And, uh,

Faye's gonna be there again.

- And?

- I'm not trying to avoid her,

'cause that's just not who I am.

I never avoid anything.

But I'm, uh...

I'm not trying to be her friend either.

I built up a battle in my head between Faye and I.

I felt like it was gonna go down.

You brought my name up, and so I was like...

- When?

- I don't know; you wrote about something,

that I was, like, some "turn the cheek" kind of wife,

and I... you'd never met me.

You didn't know me.

And when she was

180 degrees opposite

of what I expected...

- If I've done anything to offend anyone,

I'm sorry; I really am.

- I... I was kind of like...

I didn't know where to go with it.

I just hope that Faye Resnick has had

20-plus years to think about it all

and to regret it.

- So how do you feel about

seeing her at the party?

- I'm waiting.

I'm waiting to see how she's gonna be to me.

When I think back to, like,

what I really wanted the opportunity to say,

I wanted to, like, just, like,

just reed her ass up and down.

Like, "Where is your dignity?"

Other than my father dying,

to have known someone who was brutally murdered,

it was one of the hardest things

that I ever went through emotionally,

but my name and my ex-husband's name

were not mentioned until Faye wrote her book.

And then, all the sudden,

we kind of got sucked into the whirlwind

in a way we had never wanted to be

and shouldn't have been, ever.

I'll never look at her, though...

When I see her face,

I'm always gonna, like...

Those things are always gonna come up.

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Were you there

at Kyle's barbecue

when Kyle and Lisa

were having a conversation

which was,

you know, the endless,

"Is Yolanda sick or not?"

- Oh.

Yolanda puts it out,

and people respond and react to it.

- Yes.

- If she didn't put it out in a public way,

I don't think people would be talking about it.

Somebody said something to me

that I thought was really

an intense... comment, and...

- I know that. - You know the comment.

- I know that word.

- I want to thank you for not doing it tonight,

because if she heard the word "Munchausen's,"

it may send her over the edge.

- I don't agree with what it implies.

- No. I don't either.

- But I had a moment that I engaged in it.

- That's okay.

- And I looked it up. - Yeah.

- And I went to Lisa and Kyle,

and I opened up to them, and I said,

"Listen, I need your help,

"'cause I don't know what to do with this.

"I feel badly that this came to me.

It was horrible. I engaged in it."

There's been a lot of chatter about Yolanda

and her sickness in this town.

I did not come up with the word "Munchausen,"

I did not say it,

but I engaged in a conversation about it,

and now I really feel

that it is important to tell Yolanda.

"And now I feel bad."

- I'm telling you, if you tell Yolanda this,

I promise you, I really don't think she's...

She would... she's really gonna

appreciate you being honest with her.

- I hope so, 'cause I'm scared to hurt her.

- Don't be afraid.

- Because she's sick, so you know what I'm saying?

- She's tough. You guys need to move past it.

- Don't we? - Yes.

- Coming up...

- Somebody came to me with a word,

"Munchausen's."

It's when somebody

says they're sick but they're not.

- [vocalizing] - Yeah.

That's it. And again.

- [vocalizing] - Yeah.

All right.

- Being a performer is more than just

sheer catsuits and rhinestones

and pumps and hair and makeup.

It's a lot of hard work.

- And "le." - [vocalizing]

- Yeah.

Good.

- Anybody that performs will tell you,

you know, you got to keep your instruments sharp.

You have to go to voice class.

You got to go to dance class.

But I've been performing since I could talk,

so it really never feels like work.

- What you got to do is open your mouth.

Roll the tongue forward.

- Ah. - Behind the bottom teeth.

- Uh-huh. - All right?

- Uh-huh. - Now go.

[both vocalizing]

- All right. [laughter]

- [vocalizing]

I've performed all around the world,

basically every major city

in the United States of America

and some dump ones, let me tell you,

and next week, I'm in San Diego,

and all the ladies are coming.

Erika Jayne, live onstage.

It's gonna rock their worlds.

[singing operatically]

- Not bad.

You practice this,

what we just did today.

- All right, and I'll get the music, and I'll listen.

Who should I listen to?

- Mirella Freni. - Who?

- Mirella Freni. She would be one.

The other one would be Montserrat Caballé.

- Text it to me. - I will.

Okay. - [laughs] All right.

[upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, my goodness.

♪ ♪

- Hey, honey. - Hi, honey.

- How you doing? - I'm...

You know, I'm trying to get organized.

- What is all that? - Oh, God.

- What is that? - First of all...

First of all, let me tell you, there's feathers everywhere

because of this thing; they're, like, everywhere.

But... we're going to the Moulin Rouge party.

It's Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump's anniversaries?

- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Moulin Rouge. Yeah. - Exactly.

- I like it. Very good. Very good.

- [sighs]

I'm back from Italy.

It was so amazing and wonderful,

but I'm exhausted.

Weird to be back, isn't it?

- Tired. Jet-lagged. You're not?

- Horribly. You kidding? - Yeah.

No, it's all good; you gotta...

you gotta move on, just get through all this.

Right? - Yeah.

- You all right? With your sister's ashes?

- Yeah, you know, it's like, um...

I do feel like it was the right thing to do.

Having Vincent as a constant

throughout my life and experiencing,

you know, the ups and downs that life is and can be

with a partner is everything.

I feel like I could share anything with him.

- This'll be fun, you know?

- Do you see all the feathers everywhere?

- Kidding me? Oh, that's fun!

Okay. Yeah.

- [laughs] - All right.

- Oh, my God!

[upbeat bongo music]

♪ ♪

- Hello! - Hello?

- Hello! both: Hi!

- Oh, my God.

I don't think I'm ready for that, but thank you.

Good morning.

- I said, the last time you had a great time,

I brought you a bottle of this,

and this is for when you're ready.

Yolanda, for me,

is not an easy person to talk to.

I am not super comfortable.

- What can I get you?

Do you want a co... I was making coffee.

- I would love a coffee.

So this is really hard for me,

to go over to her house, in her surroundings,

and to completely open up and be really honest with her

about something that is ugly.

- Do you want sugar?

- I don't. I'm good. - Good.

Good girl. - I'm good.

- I'm gonna have one.

- Okay. - So...

- So, um, I want to be honest,

because I don't feel good about

a few things that, um...

I engaged in some...

Some chatter, I'm gonna call it,

some outside chatter.

Um, and, I don't feel good about it.

- What was the conversation about?

- Well, they're confused and, you know...

- About what? - About, you know...

Pictures that you post on Instagram, I think, are...

They're powerful to some people

and even... even to some of us

and even to me, at times.

- And why do you think I post those?

- To get awareness.

- Exactly.

It's one thing to stand up

for the whole Lyme community in the world

and to be a voice for people

that can be heard.

I think I've always been pretty sensitive

as to who are friends and who are Hollywood friends,

but there seems to be a whole other box out there

right now of people

that maybe don't have good intent with me.

It's another thing to stand up against a friend

who you expect to just trust your journey.

- Sometimes I can be

impulsive, a stupid assáááá,

and I know that,

and I'm working hard on not being that

because the true part of me,

my higher self, is a really good person.

- Stop judging others

until you're perfect yourself.

You know what I mean? Look in the mirror.

She's just deflecting away from her own issues.

- I don't know how you're gonna react to it.

You may say, "Get the fááá out of my house right now."

- No, I would never say that. - You might.

Somebody came to me with a word

that I didn't know what it meant

and thought that this is what you had,

called Munchausen's.

It's when somebody

says they're sick but they're not.

It's a scary thing. I don't believe it.

- And so what does it mean?

- It means that you're not really sick

but you make yourself sick.

- I've never heard of Munch-mausen-hausen disease.

It's not a word that I've ever heard or ever used,

so I have no idea what she's talking about.

- I felt bad for even

hearing it, talking about it with that person,

and I told Lisa and Eileen

and... and Kyle about it

because it had just happened.

I said, "I feel really bad about it,

in engaging in a conversation about that word."

- We're all far from perfect. That's the truth.

- I try to be, but I know it's not possible.

Thank you; I don't want to tire you out,

because I can start to see it in your eyes...

- Yeah, I'm getting a little...

- Okay, I see, you're like, "Okay..."

- Feel my hand. - "I'm done now"...

- This is my... all of a sudden, I'll start sweating.

- I'm feeling like I'm the biggest

piece of sháá on the planet

that I would ever

question, talk...

Like, shoot me now.

You've been through a lot...

- Yeah, my body's been through a lot.

- You've been through fáááing hell.

- So even in my head, I'm like, "Okay, I'm getting better."

I can feel now some of my energy is, like...

- No, I can see, you're like, "Okay, I'm done now.

"We've done all we need to say...

"we've said all we need to say.

Thank you for coming. Bye-bye. Go home."

- Yeah.

- Coming up...

- Oh, my God. Look at us.

We are like fáááing cheap hookers.

Cheap... well, not cheap. No.

Actually, not at all. Expensive.

♪ ♪

- Portie, what about this one?

Will this one fit me?

- No.

Khloe, let me just try this on you.

- Khlo-Khlo.

What is this?

- It fits perfectly. [giggles]

I love it.

- Ooh.

Super sexy.

- I feel like, if you've been married

for 20 years in Beverly Hills,

it's like being married for 100 years somewhere else,

because it's so unheard of.

So I am very proud of that.

I am.

- You look amazing.

- You like this?

- Yeah. - Should I wear this every day?

- [laughs]

- Should I pick you up at school like this, Portia?

What do you think, honey? Fishnets or no fishnets?

- Um, that's... the fish... That's for the legs?

- [laughs] Yes.

♪ ♪

- Are you almost ready?

- I'm read... I'm coming out! Are you ready?

- I'm ready. I see legs.

Wow!

Wow. Turn around.

Wow.

- I'm doing the trash look tonight.

It's like Halloween, where, like,

all the sluts get a day pass, you know?

- [laughs]

Gorgeous. - Thank you, baby.

- Beautiful.

♪ ♪

- Hello!

You're late!

Oh, Lordy. Help me go down this way.

I have to go down backwards.

[laughter]

I'm quite good

at doing it backwards, just for the record.

Oh, I like it.

- Hold on. I've got... ugh!

- I think we should wear this every Saturday night.

Oh, that's so cute!

- Ah! you like it?

- My God, those puppies are about to jump out.

- They are so ridiculous.

Happy anniversary. - Happy anniversary.

- We made it. Okay, let's get in.

- Whoa. - Oh, my God.

- Lisa, it's so hard to sit down in these.

- Nice. - My God, tell me.

The funniest thing is not

waiting for you in my hall for a half an hour.

- I can't even breathe.

♪ ♪

- Oh, hello.

Oh, yeah. This is my girl.

Yes. - Oh, hey, hey, hey!

Hold on; let me not get this hair in this weave!

- Oh, my God!

- Hi, are you Donnie? - I am.

You're Erika? - I am she.

So nice to... sháá...

Meet you, sweetheart.

- Nice to meet you as well. - Hi, gorgeous, how are you?

- Gorgeous... I knew you were gonna come like that.

- I like the hat. - Thank you.

You're such a good sport for doing this.

- Yeah, yeah. - Where is your husband?

- He's with the clients. - Oh, okay.

- What is this here? - My crop.

- It's a whip. - Just in case.

Someone gets out of line later...

- Right on. - Crack 'em!

- Let 'em have it. - You are so funny.

- You're the tough girl. - Yeah, a little bit.

- Little bit.

Where did your wife learn to be so tough?

- It goes back to her childhood.

You got to hear the stories

when she was "Kathy."

- Who the fááá is Kathy?

- Exactly, Kathy would beat your ass.

- So wait a minute; so... so...

- She came over...

- Rinna told me about your house.

- Oh, okay, cool. - Yeah.

- Yeah, you guys have to come over and hang out.

- I'm dying to.

- Yeah, so she came out to talk to me about

going to see Yolanda in regards

to saying Yolanda had Munchausen

or she was Munchausen

or that her sickness wasn't real.

- What? - Yes.

- Are you serious? Wait. - Very.

- Lisa said that Yolanda's sickness isn't real?

- Lisa said that she had participated

in some conversations

with some other people in which they were doubting

if Yolanda's sickness was real,

and the word "Munchausen" was used.

Do I know who said the word "Munchausen"?

I do not.

- Is Munchausen, like, with the...

Like, the mind, like, the prefab,

where you create it?

- You create sickness for sympathy.

- No.

[fast swinging music]

♪ ♪

Ah, this is nice.

♪ ♪

Beautiful. - Cool.

- Yeah, I have no idea what to expect.

I've never been to a Moulin Rouge party.

- After you.

- Don't look up my skirt, pervert.

- Hi!

- Happy anniversary! - Wow.

Thank you.

I feel so weird saying it 'cause it's actually early for me.

It's really, technically, theirs right now,

but mine's coming.

It's an excuse to throw a party, though.

- Hello, how you doing? - Donnie, my husband.

- Nice to meet you. - There's the grande dame.

- What? - I know.

- What is that?

- That's about as handsome as it gets.

That's Donnie. - Wow, that's...

- Well, uh, ditto to you. - I like the costume.

- Give a twirl, honey. - What's that?

[laughter]

- Well, anyway, nice to meet you.

- Yeah, very nice to meet you as well.

- Donnie's cute, and he's great,

but that looks like a lot of pressure.

I want somebody, you know, that his eyes are going

who's not gonna see the dimple in my ass, you know?

- Hey, Donnie, how are you? - I'm doing well.

- I thought you'd be bigger.

- Bigger? I lost 30 pounds.

- Oh, that's what you...

- Well, by the way, your husband was very excited.

I said, "When you saw your wife,

did you say, 'Thank you, Kyle and Lisa'?"

- Yeah. No. - And he said, "Yes"?

- It's short... thank God for the bow, or...

- Well, he's very excited to... [laughs]

- Ha-ha, you've got no underwear on!

- Yes, I do! - Yes, she does! She does.

I've already seen it. - What's that naked ass, then?

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God. Look at us.

We are like fáááing cheap hookers.

Cheap... well, not cheap. No.

Actually, not at all. Expensive.

Harry's working. He's out of town.

So if Harry had seen me leave the house like this,

he would just shake his head, I think.

He would just go, like,

"Now what are you doing?"

Wow. - Oh, how fabulous.

[all shouting]

- Oh! Look at this body!

- Hello!

- Oh, you look incredible!

- Hello, you look gorgeous!

- I've been waiting for you. Where have you been?

- We've been, like, talking in the car.

- I've been filling her in.

I've been kind of catching her up a little bit.

- Since she was on that fancy vacation.

- That's right, she was!

- I'm in Italy one second with my family,

and now I'm going to a Moulin Rouge party

two days later, dressed like a hooker.

Go figure.

[upbeat jazzy music]

- Mm... that's what I just said too.

Did you meet my other daughter?

Alexia. - Hi, nice to meet you.

- Hi. Kathryn. - Alexia.

- Hi! - Oh, my God! Look how hot!

- Thank you! - Whoo!

- Oh, my God! You know what?

- Hot, hot! You win the best legs, honey!

- Well, honey, I'll take it. I'll take it.

- Those legs and arms are insane.

- Look at you!

♪ ♪

- All right, honey. - I think he's nice.

- No, beyond. Beyond. - Can tell you guys are friends.

- He's much nicer than I am.

I think women... I think, as women,

we have to be a little guarded

and, like, you know...

- I think, as women, we have it

a little tougher than they do.

- We do; if you're too nice,

you get taken advantage of.

- Advantage of. - Yeah.

- People think you're weak.

And then if you're too mean, then you're a áááá.

You know, you never... - Oh, I hate that word.

Don't say that word. - You do? Why?

- I... that's the most disgusting word.

You're too beautiful to say that word.

The C word is horrible.

To me, it's, like, the most degrading thing

you can call someone.

It's just nasty.

It's dirty. It's gross.

Don't say it. That's a... that's a... ugh.

Just, it's... it's disgusting.

You don't talk like that.

- I kind of do. - No, you don't!

- I... I won't talk like that in front of you.

- Don't do it. Don't do it. - I won't do it.

- You're too beautiful. - Thank you.

She's trying to correct me.

First off, number one, I don't care.

Number two, I'm still gonna use the word "áááá"

every fáááing time I can say it.

- Coming up...

- Whoo! - Dang, girl!

[all screaming]

- She could probably wrap her legs

around the back of her head.

I can barely put my socks on.

- Whoo!

- Happy anniversary. - Nice to see you.

- Hot dang! Hi.

- Happy anniversary. - Thank you. Thank you.

- Does it feel like yesterday?

- Well, 33 years. - Hi, sweetie.

- Hello, Faye.

- Darling.

Ugh, what would an anniversary party be

without Faye Resnick?

- Wow. Wow!

- Well, "wow" to you too. - Lisa!

I have to say,

you look great!

- She brought it, huh? - Huh?

- You really brought it. - I had to find it.

And then I brought it. - Do you want a refill, honey?

You good? - No, I'm good, thank you.

Unless you think I need it.

- I'm leaving you guys.

I'm gonna go find my fiancé.

- Oh, is he here?

- Yes, and I think he's in need of a tequila.

- I'm sure.

- I told Lisa if she said anything to you,

which she said she's not,

that she's... so don't worry.

'Cause I know you were worried about that.

I don't think you have to worry about that.

- Oh, good. You know, she was fine.

She just said hello.

I... I think it's all good.

- She didn't say anything, though, just hi?

- Yeah, she was good. - Perfect.

- I'm Kathryn. - Nice to meet you.

- Pleasure to meet you as well. - Great to see you.

- This is Erika. - Hi. Erika.

- How are you? Vince. - You know what?

I feel like this is not the way

you should see us for the first time.

- I know, right?

- Like hookers. - Carry on.

Do the girl talk, all right?

- Nice to see you. - Great to see you. Bye-bye.

- Has anybody seen Yolanda?

- No, she's not coming. - She's not coming.

I heard she looks beautiful.

- She turned on a corner... - You know what?

I bet she's hopeful,

and it's changed the whole thing.

- She seemed like it

the day that I was at her house, you know?

She really did.

- She and Lisa talked it out. - We talked it out.

Yolanda and I both want to move forward.

I mean, I've certainly come clean with her,

and I feel like we've come to an understanding

and we've chosen to move on.

♪ ♪

- Whoo! - Yes!

Hit a split! - That's the way.

Come on. - Why not?

- Here it comes. Let's go.

- Do it! - La, la, la, la, la.

- Oh, shoot.

- Da, da, dum.

- Women back home, don't ever do that.

- Yes! - Here we go!

- I'm gonna cheer her on. - Gonna love it.

- Okay.

- Whoo! - Dang, girl!

[all screaming]

- I love you so much for that!

You have no idea!

- I mean, there's the component

to a happy marriage.

You know, Kyle can do the splits,

so she could probably wrap her legs

around the back of her head.

I can barely put my socks on.

[laughs]

[upbeat dance music]

- Look at this! - Yes!

- "Club MTV" days!

♪ ♪

- Are you having fun?

- Yeah, you? - Yeah.

- Mauricio and I have spent

20 wonderful years together.

That is what tonight is all about.

♪ ♪

- I have one of the best, longest,

and happiest marriages in Beverly Hills.

33 damn years, you know?

And no, I don't have to do the splits,

but I do my part.

Or I let him do my part.

That's probably the secret.

♪ ♪

- I need to put on some lipstick.

Sorry. - Nothing.

- Did you... did you see Faye?

You were nice, right? [laughs]

- What'd you say?

- Don't get me started.

- I asked Lisa if she was nice to Faye.

- Is she here? - Yeah.

- Were you nice to her?

- Yeah.

I was nicer than I was last time.

- Eh.

I mean, I didn't know her before,

but from what I knew of

was not good.

- She's a good girl.

She's... she's a good friend. She's a good person.

- When she was kind of so kind of aggressive with me,

I just kind of went, "You know what?"

- It wasn't that aggressive. - I didn't like it.

- If you really break it down

and what she said, it wasn't really

that big of a deal.

- Well, it's my prerogative. It's my prerogative.

- It is, and it's also my job to defend her,

because that was not... That wasn't a fair situation.

- How long have you guys been friends?

- Years. - Faye and...

I met Faye through my sister Kathy 20...

- In what year?

- Mm...

1994.

- Now I'm... I'm questioning Kyle.

I know where Faye was at that time in her life.

What Faye was then,

I want to believe, is not who she is now.

But for sure, I'm holding on to something,

'cause I don't know what to believe.

I don't... I don't trust her.

She wrote something about me, and she spoke about me,

and she never met me.

- Yeah, she told me that.

- Yeah, yeah. Don't do that. - Yeah.

You know, it's been so long; I haven't reread the book...

- But that was my issue.

I never read the book, but I heard a lot about it.

And for me,

it was really, incredibly distasteful,

and to capitalize... and that is strictly how I viewed it...

- Well, that's a really strong word,

and I don't want to say that.

- It is? "Distasteful" is a strong word?

- I don't want to go there

and talk about that about her, so...

- No, but that's how I felt about it,

and honestly, for me...

- Well, she had her own feelings,

which is what she talked about, so...

And that was 21 years ago, so yeah.

- But you know what... A lot of that

is, like, she brought on herself.

She really did; she included herself in it

when she really did not need to.

- Well, I think... Well, I'm not gonna

speak for her, but she has a different opinion about that.

How does Kathryn have the balls

to be speaking against my friend

at my party that I invited her to?

Shut the fááá up.

- No one's ever gonna change my mind

about how I feel about

what that was then.

- Yeah.

Well, and I'm sure

her mind won't be changed about

how she was feeling at that time too.

But now, like we said, 21 years ago.

It's a new chapter in everyone's lives.

- Right.

Exactly.

I'm not gonna sit there because it's your party

and make nice-nice and, like, act like I like Faye.

Sorry. Not happening.

- Coming up...

- If someone did that to you about your friend

at your party, you wouldn't like it.

- You can't change the way she feels.

- Lookit, my hair doesn't move, honey.

I can shake it. I can do all this.

- Is the ponytail a hairpiece?

- It's a hairpiece. Yeah. Look.

- Grow that sháá out!

- All right!

My husband now likes it short,

so I'm kind of fáááed.

- You're not gonna do it. - I know.

This is what happens.

It gets to a point, and I go, "Harry,

like it long, or you want me to cut it?"

He goes, "Cut it."

So I do, 'cause I want my husband to fááá me.

- Well, all right.

- I think he would still have sex with me.

I think... you know, sometimes

I just blow smoke up everyone's ass.

It just shuts 'em up.

Like, zip it.

- I don't know Kathryn well enough

for her to be talking like that about Faye

at our party; that's rude.

She's a new friend,

and it's our party; that's not nice.

- Yeah, but there's a history between them...

- I don't care. I don't like that.

- That obviously runs so deep.

If you think about the fact that...

- If someone did that to you about your friend

at your party, you wouldn't like it.

Just admit that.

- Sorry, I was just walking up to chat.

- No, I wouldn't, but I think...

I think you defended her.

- Yeah, but it wasn't right for her to do that.

- But you can't change that.

- And to use those words is rude; I don't like that.

- You can't change that.

You can't change the way she feels.

- I don't want to get into this.

It was not even my story 21 years ago.

My point is, she shouldn't be, like, talking like that

when she's at our party...

- Well, then you know what?

- When she's a new friend.

- I like her. Faye's your friend.

You talk to her.

I like... I like her.

- Great!

- You go tell her.

- I'm not gonna fáááing tell her.

- I am not, like, the party conduit here.

I am not the messenger.

- I don't need to get into that.

- I'm gonna have a drink. You sort it out yourself.

- She shouldn't have even said that; it's rude.

- You sort it out yourself.

- Lisa should be supporting me with this out of principle.

It doesn't matter if she and Faye are friends or not.

The last time Lisa decided to side with the new girl...

[clears throat] Didn't work out so well for her.

- [speaking indistinctly]

- Because...

It's bloody nonsense. - Exactly.

- Next time on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Are we ready for the show tonight?

- No! - No!

- We got to paint that body head to toe.

- ♪ I'm a temptress ♪

[upbeat dance music]

- Hmm.

[delicate piano music]

[upbeat dance music]

[cheers and applause]

- Did Lisa Rinna say we were talking about you?

- It was more about

Lisa brought up my kids not being sick.

- [scoffs]

My name's suddenly being pulled into something

that I really didn't want to be a part of.

- Somebody's talking to her about the kids,

and it wasn't me.

- Who the hell told Yolanda

that somebody said that about her kids not having it?

- She brought it up to me.

- So let it go.

[dramatic music]

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