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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:24,941 When I was ten, my family moved to America. 2 00:00:25,274 --> 00:00:28,694 Shortly thereafter, I learned a valuable lesson about love. 3 00:00:30,154 --> 00:00:31,155 Hey, new kid. 4 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,741 You wanna play a card came called 52 pickup? 5 00:00:36,994 --> 00:00:37,995 Pick it up, 6 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,205 dick for brains! 7 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:52,301 She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. 8 00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:55,680 I fell instantly and madly in love. 9 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,932 ♪ Take a look ♪ 10 00:00:58,599 --> 00:01:01,644 ♪ At me ♪ 11 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,148 Then she broke my heart. 12 00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:09,610 I vowed never to let love hurt me again. 13 00:01:10,611 --> 00:01:11,612 Today 14 00:01:11,779 --> 00:01:13,364 I'm a master of love. 15 00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,324 Your book '52 Pickup' 16 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,578 is basically a how-to guide for men to pick up women, 17 00:01:18,911 --> 00:01:20,454 - is it not? - It is, yeah. 18 00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:24,125 And you claim that your book 19 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,794 will help men pick up a different woman 20 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,880 every week, for a year? 21 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,174 Yeah, it's really that simple. 22 00:01:31,215 --> 00:01:32,925 All they have to do is follow 23 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,552 my three simple rules of engagement. 24 00:01:34,635 --> 00:01:36,220 That is, trigger her interest 25 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:37,346 play indifferent 26 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:39,682 and then go for the kill. 27 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,603 Are you aware how degrading that is to women? 28 00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,521 I mean, some could say it reduces us 29 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,691 to mere objects who could be easily tricked into bed? 30 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:51,611 I mean, how would you respond to such allegations? 31 00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:52,778 How do I respond? 32 00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:57,241 Guilty as charged. 33 00:01:58,784 --> 00:02:00,411 ♪ Bang, bang, bang ♪ 34 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,956 ♪ It goes all night long ♪ 35 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,336 ♪ Clang, clang, clang ♪ 36 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:11,297 ♪ Do that siren song ♪ 37 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,551 ♪ Are you feeling nervous? ♪ 38 00:02:16,969 --> 00:02:19,305 ♪ She doesn't feel that way ♪ 39 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,322 Oh, what the hell is that? 40 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,784 What is this stuff! 41 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,139 - Hey, what's up, Ruben? - Hey, what's... whoa. 42 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,517 - Take it easy, brother. - Sorry, dude, we just met here. 43 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:05,560 All right. 44 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,329 Don't get chopped off. You're early, aren't you? 45 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:08,437 You got it, bro. 46 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,240 Thank you. How's it going? Good? 47 00:03:21,325 --> 00:03:22,326 Very well. 48 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,828 There you go. Good luck. 49 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:24,996 Good. 50 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,247 And enjoy it. 51 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:27,665 Next in line. 52 00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,046 So good to meet you. 53 00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,464 Well, thank you for coming. 54 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,633 Dude, you've changed my life. 55 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,218 That's the whole point. 56 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,470 I used to live in my parents' basement 57 00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:42,972 and only thing I'd score 58 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,390 was my Xbox. 59 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,309 But now... 60 00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,352 I'm scoring with ladies. 61 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,647 That's great. Go get them. 62 00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:54,817 Next. 63 00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:56,777 Holy shit. 64 00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:58,696 - Hi. - Hi. 65 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,489 I can't believe it's really you. 66 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,574 It's really me. 67 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,326 I owe you so much. 68 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,287 Your book, has helped me overcome this. 69 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:08,706 Tiny penis? 70 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:09,749 What? 71 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,917 No! 72 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,003 I'm talking about my lack of style. 73 00:04:14,086 --> 00:04:16,339 That's... I meant your tiny lack of style. 74 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:17,942 - Yes. - I don't know why I said penis. 75 00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:19,967 That's exactly, I don't know why I said penis. 76 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,636 - You're an asshole. - I'm sorry. 77 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,388 I'm... I'm sure you're packing. I didn't... 78 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,765 Baby's arm holding an apple. 79 00:04:25,806 --> 00:04:26,807 Yeah. 80 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,394 - What are you doing? - I don't know. It just came out. 81 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,022 Hi. 82 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,443 What a collection of losers today, huh? 83 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,903 - Worse than usual. - Yeah. 84 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,655 OK. Those 'losers' 85 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,174 are the reason you live in a million dollar house 86 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,783 and wear custom-made suits. 87 00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,868 Hey, it's OK, I still love them, though. 88 00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:47,495 Hence the term, 'lovable loser'. 89 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,080 Yeah. And hey, hey, you know what? 90 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:51,165 You should show the man a little more respect here. 91 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,709 OK? He's making your company a lot of green and you know what? 92 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,212 We haven't signed the contract for that third book yet. So... 93 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,296 - Don't touch me... - OK. 94 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:58,339 It's OK, Steve. 95 00:04:58,422 --> 00:05:00,299 Polly here has a right to her opinion. 96 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,425 OK, it's Molly. 97 00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,303 But Steve is right. 98 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,430 I was out of line. It won't happen again. 99 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,515 It's all good, babe. 100 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,599 It's all good, Molly. 101 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,686 We sold over a hundred copies. 102 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,020 That's great, Nana. 103 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:16,107 Yeah, those losers really eat this shit up. Ha! 104 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,859 What? 105 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,027 Here. I wrote my number in it. 106 00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:23,197 You want to get with a real woman, give me a call. 107 00:05:27,159 --> 00:05:28,160 What the... 108 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,538 Don't even think about it. 109 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:36,878 Hey, hey, listen. I almost forgot. 110 00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:38,397 They asked me if you want to participate 111 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,131 in this charity fashion show. 112 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,174 - Really? - Yeah. 113 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,467 - How much would it pay? - Nada. It's for charity. 114 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,219 But all the models are gonna be celebs. 115 00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:46,762 - Oh, interesting. - Yeah. Yeah. 116 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,222 It's gonna be some big names there. 117 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,307 You know what? 118 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,030 Might allow me to broaden my fishing pond. 119 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,061 And you've got quite the pole, huh? 120 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,480 - Dude. - I know. 121 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:57,899 - That was... - I know. 122 00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:58,941 - Yeah. - Yeah. 123 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,105 - We won't... - Don't worry. 124 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,028 I regretted the second it came out of my mouth. 125 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,071 Oh. 126 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,406 Hey! Wait a minute. 127 00:06:06,073 --> 00:06:08,326 Hey, don't forget about this release party tonight! 128 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,744 - Huh? - I said don't forget... 129 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,996 You're an asshole. 130 00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,080 Asshole! 131 00:06:13,497 --> 00:06:14,498 You hear that? 132 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,126 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, get out of here. 133 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,794 Fancy car piece of shit. 134 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,895 Take care of it, buddy. 135 00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,209 - Edison Greenleaf. - Jesus. 136 00:06:58,876 --> 00:06:59,877 Whoa. 137 00:07:00,127 --> 00:07:01,128 What? 138 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:02,922 Hello. 139 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,090 Hello. 140 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,717 Do I know... How do you know my name? 141 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,427 Does it really matter? 142 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:13,224 Of... I'm a fool. Of course, from the jackets of my book. OK. 143 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,768 - You want an autograph? - Look, Eddie... 144 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,021 I'm here to ask you something. 145 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,483 Yeah... you see, I don't really carry cash. 146 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,402 I don't want your money. 147 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,778 Then what do you want? 148 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,739 You don't really respect women, do you? 149 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,950 I'm sorry, what? 150 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,536 I... did Steve Burns put you up to this? Where is he? 151 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,329 Women are nothing but notches... 152 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,957 - on your bedpost! - Yeah, my bedpost. 153 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,002 In fact, I don't even have bedposts on my bed, so... 154 00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,297 That's a metaphor, Eddie. 155 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,132 A metaphor... 156 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,092 Oh, I get... 157 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,802 I'm being punked, aren't I? 158 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:50,845 This is brilliant! 159 00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:53,532 Where? Where are they? All right, you can come out now. Where's the film crew? 160 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,766 There's no film crew, Eddie! 161 00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:00,271 All right. You know, I'm tired of this. No more games, OK? 162 00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,273 Then give me what I'm here for. 163 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:04,025 And what are you here for? 164 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,359 Kiss me. 165 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,069 Jeez, I don't think that's gonna happen. 166 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,364 Prove to me that you can see the beauty in all women. 167 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,033 The beauty beneath the surface. 168 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,910 - Kiss me! - All right. 169 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,953 No offense, you crazy old bat, but 170 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,997 I'd rather my dick dropped off, all right? 171 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,000 - What a... - Suit yourself. 172 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,313 Yeah, so, ah, Molly, listen. 173 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,898 - I, uhh... - Too close. 174 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,941 OK. 175 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:47,652 You're doing that thing kids do when they like each other... 176 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:48,694 No. 177 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,029 Well, OK, then. 178 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,197 How about we talk business. 179 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,383 Maybe a few strawberry daiquiris, discuss that third contract. 180 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,407 What do you say? 181 00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,409 Oh, god. 182 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,960 And then, two of my eight cats, they got in this really big fight. 183 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,395 - All right. - It was just horrible. 184 00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,338 I ended up having to take Mr. Muggles to the vet 185 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,465 and then we had to put him down. Sorry, I can't talk. 186 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,967 All right, I'm really happy for you. 187 00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,975 I thought super-models were required to be anorexic, but 188 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,269 you look just so goddamn healthy. 189 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:22,937 Wait. 190 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,730 Are you saying that I look fat? 191 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,440 No, no, that's not what I'm saying. 192 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,276 I'm saying you look really healthy. 193 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:29,944 Oh my god. 194 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,864 I shouldn't have eaten this puffy cheese thing. 195 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,199 Don't be so hard on yourself, you know. You're only human. 196 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:36,492 Humans are flawed. 197 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,370 Wait, are you saying I have flaws? 198 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,746 No, I'm saying that 199 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,290 I think you're gorgeous. 200 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,750 Just don't worry about what anybody else thinks about you. 201 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,961 Wait. You say people are talking about me? 202 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,505 Well, you know what these bitches are like. 203 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:59,098 We should think about, getting out of here soon. 204 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,683 It's getting a little, umm... 205 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,351 a little toxic, I think. 206 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,644 Tell me about it. 207 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,062 - Uhh. - Umm. 208 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,272 Uhh? 209 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,356 Hey, umm... 210 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,400 would you like to come back to my place? 211 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,110 It's like five minutes away. 212 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:13,404 Really, uhh... 213 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:14,822 Oh... 214 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,782 Early start in the morning, uhh... 215 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,284 Oh, please? 216 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,203 Well... 217 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,580 I promise to make it worth your while. 218 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,626 Well, if you insist. 219 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,546 Let's get out of here quick. 220 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,598 No. On the bed. 221 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,861 What the fuck? 222 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,367 Oh my god. 223 00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,577 Can't be. 224 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:48,583 I must be dreaming. 225 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,898 Where are you going? 226 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,617 Come on, come on. 227 00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,046 Hello? 228 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,380 Steve! 229 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,216 You need to get to my place right away. 230 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,509 Who is this? 231 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,552 It's Eddie, dumb-ass. 232 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,930 Really? Who is this? 233 00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,264 Umm... 234 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,683 you just need to get to Eddie's place as soon as you can. 235 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,768 Why? 236 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,353 Uhh... 237 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,272 because he wants you to join us in a threesome. 238 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,982 Really? 239 00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,735 He's never asked me that before. 240 00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,320 Are you in or what? 241 00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,364 I'm in! I'm in! I'm in! 242 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,490 I'm in. 243 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,449 About time. 244 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,665 What? 245 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,835 Wow. 246 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,086 Huh, look at you. 247 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,504 Well. 248 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:00,840 Your stud service has arrived. 249 00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:02,466 Huh? 250 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,593 I studied Goju Kai karate. 251 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,635 Ha! 252 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:05,720 Kai, 253 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,054 by the way. 254 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,973 Yeah. Uhh... 255 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,474 So, where is he? 256 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,642 Where's Eddie? 257 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,186 Funny thing about that. 258 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:14,979 Eddie? 259 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:16,647 You back here? 260 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,649 So where's he? 261 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,026 It's me, Steve. Eddie. 262 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,153 OK. 263 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,487 Yeah? 264 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,614 Eddie? 265 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,656 You back here? 266 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,326 Uhh, he's standing right in front of you. 267 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:29,952 OK. I get it. 268 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,204 You're hot. 269 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,539 I don't know what's going on here, but 270 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,541 but if you don't tell me where Eddie is 271 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,876 I'm gonna have to call the cops. 272 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,377 OK, listen to me, Steve. 273 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,421 I really don't know what happened. 274 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,965 Last night I fell asleep and when I woke up 275 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,300 I was this. 276 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,344 Have it your way. 277 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:49,514 Beth McDonald. 278 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:53,851 What was that? 279 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,478 Your crush in middle school. 280 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,688 Beth McDonald, the one that got away. 281 00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,857 OK. Eddie's the only one who knows that. 282 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:00,942 See? 283 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,236 All that proves is that he told you about her. 284 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,279 OK, how about Jessica Levine? 285 00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:08,074 You lost your virginity to her in tenth grade 286 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,867 and cried like a little baby. 287 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,953 That's cause she bit my dick! 288 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,748 Wait. OK, what's go... Did... did... 289 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,875 Did he tell you my whole life story? 290 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,544 Steve. It's me. 291 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,338 Eddie. Stuck inside a chick's body. 292 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,590 Come on. 293 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,052 OK. 294 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,179 Fine. If you're Eddie, tell me this 295 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,306 Two years ago, we took a trip to Vegas. 296 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,600 We got really drunk with some strippers 297 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,978 and they dared us to do something really disgusting. 298 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,354 The next day we swore... 299 00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,357 we swore we would never talk about it again. 300 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:43,526 - Really? - Yeah. 301 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,861 Really, Steve? 302 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,405 You're gonna make me say this out loud? 303 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:48,489 Hey. 304 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:49,699 If you're Eddie... 305 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,993 well, you'd know all about it. 306 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,497 OK, we gave each other hand jobs. 307 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,082 Uhh... 308 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,625 excuse me, what was that? 309 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,838 We gave each other hand jobs. 310 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,006 Are you happy? 311 00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,048 What? 312 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,258 Eddie? 313 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:09,802 I just puked in my mouth. 314 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,721 Wait a minute. 315 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,930 Wait a minute. Eddie. 316 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,891 This is impossible. I mean, how... 317 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,560 How did this happen? 318 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,228 I don't know. 319 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,689 Like I said, I fell asleep at Alexa's last night 320 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,107 after banging her up and down 321 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,400 and when I woke up 322 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,735 I was a chick. 323 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,533 Well... 324 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,410 at least you're hot. 325 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:35,828 Shut the fuck up. 326 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,455 Wait. 327 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,790 - You think I'm hot? - Oh yeah, I do. 328 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,043 So you would have sex with me, knowing it's me, 329 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,085 Eddie, 330 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:44,253 inside this body? 331 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,756 Hey, after Vegas, what have I got to lose? 332 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,050 - Good point. - Right? 333 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,260 So, if you don't mind, can I... 334 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,387 - See the whole package, maybe? - What? 335 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,889 You know, minus the clothes. 336 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,807 Dude, I am not taking my clothes off for you. 337 00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,184 OK, fine. Be that way. 338 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,352 I have to say 339 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,145 my breasts are really perky. 340 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,401 Steve! 341 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,283 Steve! 342 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:17,578 I'm a First Dan. 343 00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,205 OK. 344 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,624 I said, we need to figure out what happened to me. 345 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:22,707 OK. 346 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,669 Jesus. 347 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:30,967 OK. 348 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,343 Let's figure this out. 349 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,887 Let's think about the last 24 hours, yeah? 350 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,931 - You had the book signing. - Yeah. 351 00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,933 You had the release party. 352 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,518 You had sex with a super-model. 353 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,561 Nothing unusual. 354 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,645 OK, then. 355 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:43,896 - Wait. - What? 356 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,773 The homeless woman. 357 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,191 You had sex with a homeless woman? 358 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,526 No, dumb-ass. 359 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,237 I was outside the building before the party. 360 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,030 And this homeless woman came up to me. 361 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,574 She knew my name, said... 362 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,158 said, I don't respect women, 363 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,786 didn't see their inner beauty, some shit like that. 364 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,913 Then, she asked me to kiss her. 365 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,164 Wow, how was that? 366 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,626 That's the thing. I mean, I blew her off. 367 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,295 She was fucking hideous. 368 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,632 I would've fucked her. 369 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,510 Twice. 370 00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,555 She must have put a spell on me. 371 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,223 That's the only thing that makes sense. 372 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,308 OK. 373 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,475 OK. So... 374 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,020 we are looking for a homeless woman 375 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,688 with magical powers. 376 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,274 I mean... I don't know. I guess so. 377 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,817 Maybe she was a witch. 378 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,694 - A witch? - Did she have a broom? 379 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,154 - No. - OK. 380 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,572 But... 381 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,908 she did have a really big walking stick. 382 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:37,992 Her magic wand! 383 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,161 Kind of magic wand, yeah. 384 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,245 Right. Well... 385 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,290 with all these magical powers, why was she still so ugly? 386 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,893 - What? - I mean, the first thing you do 387 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,084 is make yourself hot, right? 388 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,586 What's that got to do with anything? 389 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,087 Ah. Wait a minute. No! 390 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,297 Because if she was hot 391 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,090 it would have been easy for you to kiss her. 392 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,383 My god, this lady is slick. 393 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,677 Gotta tell you, if she was here, I'd give her some props. 394 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:57,762 You're an idi... 395 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:00,890 - That's it. - What? 396 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:02,767 We have to find her. 397 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,435 I mean, if she turned me into a chick 398 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,229 then she can turn me back again. 399 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,438 Wait a minute. Listen to me. 400 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,233 You know how hard it's gonna be to find a homeless woman in this city? 401 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,076 Like trying to find a virgin in a whorehouse. 402 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,402 OK, listen to me, Steve. 403 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,570 We either find her 404 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,073 or I'm stuck as a chick for I don't know how long. 405 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,157 Maybe forever. 406 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,409 Doesn't worry me, because you're kind of hot. 407 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,494 Dude! 408 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:22,620 Me and you 409 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:23,913 not gonna happen. 410 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,000 Not until I slip you a few mickeys. 411 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,670 I still say, if she had magic powers 412 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,171 she'd use them not to be homeless. 413 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:35,383 Or, maybe searching for her in homeless shelters is part of the test. 414 00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,051 Yeah, but not the fun part. 415 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,811 Can I help you? 416 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,105 Yeah, hi, we're trying to find a homeless woman. 417 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,773 This is a homeless shelter. 418 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,024 We have about 40 of them. 419 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,234 She's really old. 420 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,861 There's about 30 of them. 421 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,070 She's really ugly. 422 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,073 Look, this is really important. 423 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,950 You see... 424 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,536 I think she took something of mine. 425 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,580 So let me get this straight. 426 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:08,207 Some poor old homeless woman 427 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,459 who's probably struggling to survive 428 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,003 took something from you. 429 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,255 - Yeah. - Yeah. 430 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,132 So what do you want me to do? 431 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,676 I make our clients line up so you can pick her out? 432 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,219 Oh my god, that would be so great. 433 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,304 - Yeah. - Thank you. 434 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:25,183 Have you ever heard of sarcasm, skippy? 435 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,729 That shit ain't happening. 436 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,647 Well, can we at least have a look around? 437 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,608 No, you can't be looking around in here. 438 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,318 OK, what do you expect us to do? 439 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,861 What I expect you to do 440 00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,696 is to take your skinny 441 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,948 sorry asses and get up outta here before I... 442 00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,033 Tonya... 443 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,993 what's going on here? 444 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,998 These two claim that a homeless woman stole from them. 445 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,417 And they want us to line up our clients 446 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,461 like a bunch of criminals so they can pick her out. 447 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,338 Well, that's not exactly true. 448 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,548 Hi, I'm Jess White. 449 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,674 I'm the manager. 450 00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,759 Hi, I'm Ed... 451 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:01,802 ...na Greenleaf. 452 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,680 So why don't you tell me what's going on here? 453 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:07,642 OK, the other night, I ran into this homeless woman on the street. 454 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,060 She was really ugly. 455 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:10,811 Anyway, 456 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,022 I think she might have taken something of mine. 457 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,065 I see. 458 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,316 Yep. 459 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,528 And, what would that be? If you don't mind my asking. 460 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,241 - It was, uhh... - Her identity. 461 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,285 She took your identity? 462 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,497 Oh, it's... kind of hard to explain. 463 00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:32,041 You... you mean your ID? 464 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,459 That's right. Her ID. 465 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,504 Oh, well, I guess I can see why you'd want that back. 466 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,130 - Yeah, I know, right? - So, umm... 467 00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:39,465 can you describe her for me? 468 00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:42,176 Yeah, umm, she's about 80 years old, with this 469 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:45,346 wild, grey hair, and this really big crooked nose. 470 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,722 Tell her about the walking stick. 471 00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,891 Oh yeah, she had this massive wooden walking stick. 472 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,184 Yeah, like a magic wand. 473 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,187 - Like a magic wand? - Uhuh. 474 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,106 What a plain Jane, huh? 475 00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,909 Yeah, I know. You should have asked her out. 476 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,359 What? She was a five at best. 477 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,111 Yeah, but together you'd make a ten. 478 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:01,279 You're an asshole. 479 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,156 Five shelters and no sign of her. 480 00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,926 Buddy, I've got to tell you I'm starvin marvin, 481 00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:07,118 you know what I'm saying? 482 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,078 This may be harder than I thought. 483 00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:13,291 Look, uhh... 484 00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:16,252 maybe we should eat something. Maybe get a little Thai food? 485 00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:17,295 - Maybe, just a... - What? 486 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,297 Some Thai food. Man, I'm starving, come on. 487 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,339 Sure. Whatever. 488 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,134 OK. 489 00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:24,969 OK. 490 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,139 Look. Listen to me. 491 00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:30,433 We will find this homeless woman. 492 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,601 This witch. 493 00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:33,769 Whatever it is you think she is, we will find her. 494 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,605 Yeah, but what do I do until then? 495 00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:36,939 I'm a chick, Steve. 496 00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,154 Well, you know what? 497 00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,406 - Embrace it. - Embrace it? 498 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:46,574 Yes, Eddie. 499 00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:47,950 Embrace it. 500 00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,703 I mean, come on, Eddie, think about it. 501 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:53,956 A chance for you to see what it's like on the other side. 502 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:56,334 Right? Embrace that! 503 00:22:58,252 --> 00:22:59,253 And, hey... 504 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:03,674 it may be a good time to do a little research for your third book. 505 00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:06,511 Yeah. 506 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:07,720 - Hmm. - There you go. 507 00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:08,888 Yeah. 508 00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:10,556 I'm starving. Going to eat. 509 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,156 Good morning. How can I help you? 510 00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:28,366 Hey, guys. Ma'am. 511 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:29,741 Umm, look. 512 00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,827 We're here to get my sister here some chick clothes. 513 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,539 He, she needs a little of everything. 514 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:37,416 Fabulous. You've come right place. 515 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:38,793 What is size? 516 00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,086 Uhh, 32 regular. 517 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:42,547 Ha, just kidding. 518 00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:43,714 Umm... 519 00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:44,799 I'm a size... 520 00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,926 - Two? - Yeah, sure, two. 521 00:23:47,009 --> 00:23:48,010 Great. 522 00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,053 OK. 523 00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,102 So, uhh... 524 00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:58,646 you guys are from Russia, right? 525 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,314 Da, Moscow. 526 00:24:00,481 --> 00:24:02,358 Da. Cool. 527 00:24:03,234 --> 00:24:04,235 In winter 528 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,736 is so cold 529 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:07,572 we pray, global warming. 530 00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:09,907 Hell, no. 531 00:24:10,199 --> 00:24:11,409 Oh, something wrong? 532 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,203 Yeah, this is messed up. 533 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,454 Wrong size? 534 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,081 You tell me. 535 00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,252 Holy shit. 536 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:22,962 Looks a good fit. 537 00:24:23,045 --> 00:24:27,091 So it's supposed to feel like someone's cutting you in half with a rusty butter knife? 538 00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:28,217 Da, pretty much. 539 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,761 I mean, I have to admit... 540 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,848 I do like how this displays the goods. 541 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:35,933 Perky, like pair of chipmunks. 542 00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:39,562 Steve, what do you think? 543 00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:40,897 Marry me. 544 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:42,356 Oh, shut the fuck up. 545 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,816 No, I'm serious. Marry me. 546 00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,735 Because you and I, we make a great couple. 547 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:47,458 What happens when I go through the change? 548 00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:49,280 I'm not giving you any more hand jobs. 549 00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:52,783 She's really not my sister. 550 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:54,285 Americans. 551 00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:57,496 No, no, no, she's actually a little more like my brother. 552 00:24:57,580 --> 00:24:58,581 I'm sorry, Eddie. 553 00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:01,584 But, you mind turning around and give me a little bit of that rusty butter? 554 00:25:01,626 --> 00:25:03,586 You're an idiot. 555 00:25:04,295 --> 00:25:05,296 OK. 556 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:16,182 ♪ Oh my, oh my ♪ 557 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,320 ♪ You really got my attention ♪ 558 00:25:31,489 --> 00:25:34,450 ♪ You made me stop What I was doing ♪ 559 00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:39,580 ♪ You made me Look in your direction ♪ 560 00:25:39,664 --> 00:25:40,665 ♪ Yeah ♪ 561 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:44,293 Hey, Eddy. 562 00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:45,795 How're you doing, man? 563 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,558 - Yeah, good to see you. - Nice to see you. 564 00:25:47,672 --> 00:25:50,007 Eddy, Ed... Edna. Edna, Eddy. 565 00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:52,468 Edna, my pleasure. Ooh, firm handshake. 566 00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:55,054 Buddy, she needs the works. What do you think? 567 00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:56,740 I mean, give her the works and put your... 568 00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,724 We don't need to do much. We'll just do her hair. 569 00:25:58,766 --> 00:25:59,767 Right, right. 570 00:25:59,851 --> 00:26:02,061 I got an amazing hair stylist, my wife. 571 00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:03,145 - Your wife? - Your wife? 572 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,399 She's the best. Yeah, she's amazing. You will be more than happy. 573 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,526 That's wonderful, Eddy, thank you. Thank you so much. 574 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:09,610 Sweetie. 575 00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:11,946 Come on out, baby. Someone to meet somebody. 576 00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:14,323 You snapped. You know what that means? 577 00:26:14,365 --> 00:26:15,783 - I know, I know. - Excited. 578 00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:16,868 Right? 579 00:26:17,618 --> 00:26:19,745 Edna, this is James. 580 00:26:20,162 --> 00:26:21,247 Edna, James. 581 00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:23,457 - The best. - Welcome to our salon. 582 00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,585 - Only the best. - Eddy James he starts, I finish. 583 00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:26,794 Always a happy ending. 584 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:28,379 Well... 585 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:30,590 So are we doing anything with him? 586 00:26:30,673 --> 00:26:31,674 I'm fine. 587 00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:34,218 - It's all about her. - It's her today, baby. 588 00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:37,054 - No, no, no. - Don't. 589 00:26:37,138 --> 00:26:39,140 - Come on, not today. - Don't even, start with it. 590 00:26:39,182 --> 00:26:40,183 Me, not today? 591 00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:42,643 You snap and look at him, the way you just looked at him- 592 00:26:42,685 --> 00:26:44,645 - No, it's really about her. - Yeah. 593 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:47,023 Which is why I'm having a co... ex... 594 00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:48,566 - a conversation... - I'm sorry. 595 00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:49,650 with my husband. 596 00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:50,693 You're flirting. 597 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:53,905 Oh, no, I'm not, babe. You know you're the one for me. 598 00:26:56,324 --> 00:26:57,575 - Anyways. - I'm sorry. 599 00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:59,076 Yes, that's what I need. 600 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,286 And enough of that. 601 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:02,009 Sweetheart, listen, let's get you started. 602 00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:03,999 Don't worry about this. That's between him and I. 603 00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:05,374 We'll take care of you just fine. 604 00:27:05,416 --> 00:27:08,169 You're in good hands, magic hands. Come with me. 605 00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:09,462 Do your magic. 606 00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:10,546 You know I do. 607 00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:12,715 So... 608 00:27:13,216 --> 00:27:14,759 when the husband snaps 609 00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:17,553 I have magic to perform. So... 610 00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:19,639 I am gonna give you a little... 611 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,015 Oh, gosh, I don't know. 612 00:27:21,098 --> 00:27:22,183 You know what I'm gonna do? 613 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,285 I'm gonna give you more waves 614 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:24,685 than a Hawaiian surf competition, 615 00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:25,937 how does that sound? 616 00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,108 - Steve! - Yo? 617 00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:32,527 What do you think? 618 00:27:34,612 --> 00:27:35,988 That's hot. Hot. 619 00:27:36,447 --> 00:27:37,657 It is hot, Steve. 620 00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,158 I mean, look at her 621 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:40,576 but then look at you. 622 00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:43,204 How about I do you next, handsome? 623 00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:44,705 OK, I'm good. 624 00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:47,333 - Come on, Steve. - Come on, Steve. 625 00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:48,793 Let James work his magic. 626 00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:49,836 I'm good. 627 00:27:49,919 --> 00:27:50,920 Steve... 628 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:52,547 I promise I won't hurt you. 629 00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:53,798 Ah! 630 00:27:53,965 --> 00:27:55,383 Unless you want me to... 631 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:56,676 OK. 632 00:27:58,052 --> 00:27:59,095 Is it gonna hurt? 633 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,388 Oh, don't worry. 634 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:02,515 It's like giving head to a babushka. 635 00:28:02,598 --> 00:28:03,683 Hmm? OK. 636 00:28:04,225 --> 00:28:05,226 One. 637 00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:06,519 Two. 638 00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:07,435 Three! 639 00:28:18,072 --> 00:28:19,282 He... she deserves it. 640 00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,216 OK. 641 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,178 Last time I'm shopping with you, pal. 642 00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:42,346 Here we go. 643 00:28:44,765 --> 00:28:46,517 Look, I gotta get back to the office. 644 00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:47,602 But listen to me. 645 00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:50,354 I'm meeting Molly at the GC Marketplace. 646 00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:53,191 We're gonna discuss the contract of your third book, so 647 00:28:53,274 --> 00:28:55,401 if you care to join us for a drink... 648 00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:57,570 I'm not hitting on you. 649 00:28:57,653 --> 00:28:59,530 - Right... - Eddie, look, I get it. 650 00:28:59,572 --> 00:29:01,532 You're Eddie, you're not Edna. I get that. 651 00:29:01,616 --> 00:29:02,617 - Uhuh. - I mean... 652 00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,619 I must have lost my mind, I mean 653 00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:05,870 you think about it. 654 00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:08,122 The situation's a little scary, right? 655 00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:10,791 - Yeah, you can say that again. - OK, so... 656 00:29:11,334 --> 00:29:13,211 we talked about this. Embrace it. 657 00:29:13,294 --> 00:29:14,295 - Uhuh. - Maybe 658 00:29:14,337 --> 00:29:15,963 see what it's like on the other side. 659 00:29:16,047 --> 00:29:17,215 - OK, you're right. - Cool. 660 00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,299 And maybe... 661 00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:20,864 wear the slinky black dress with the high heels and the thong. 662 00:30:35,084 --> 00:30:36,085 Hello. 663 00:30:36,919 --> 00:30:37,920 Hi. 664 00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:39,755 Are you new here? 665 00:30:40,673 --> 00:30:42,675 Yeah, I'm all new. 666 00:30:44,385 --> 00:30:46,262 I've never seen you here before. 667 00:30:46,804 --> 00:30:48,806 Can you put some lotion on my back, please? 668 00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:49,891 OK. 669 00:30:52,393 --> 00:30:53,728 Rub me really good. 670 00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:18,586 - Problem with the machine? - No, problem with these. 671 00:31:19,295 --> 00:31:21,797 - Not used to running with them. - You just get them done? 672 00:31:22,673 --> 00:31:25,426 - Yeah, you can say that. - Well kudos to your doctor. 673 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:27,512 - They look totally natural. - You think so? 674 00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:28,906 Yeah, yeah. I mean that I’d have to feel 675 00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:30,973 - them to know for sure. - Excuse me? 676 00:31:31,349 --> 00:31:32,743 Yeah. What do you say after work out, 677 00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:36,437 - we go back to my place, huh? - Unbelievable. 678 00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:40,900 - Come on, babe. - I have a penis! 679 00:31:58,459 --> 00:32:00,628 Well, so, I end my set. 680 00:32:00,670 --> 00:32:03,589 I walked off the stage and started looking for this young lady. 681 00:32:03,673 --> 00:32:07,468 Well, she’s sitting at this bar, just like you. 682 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,554 And then I walked up holding 683 00:32:09,595 --> 00:32:13,349 this panties, and I say, "I think this belong to you." 684 00:32:15,643 --> 00:32:18,521 And she says, "Actually," but starts laughing though, 685 00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:22,275 "Actually, they are gift for my grandmother." 686 00:32:22,483 --> 00:32:24,986 So after taking a look at them, I realized... 687 00:32:25,111 --> 00:32:27,572 - They are granny panties. - Yeah, big ones. 688 00:32:29,907 --> 00:32:31,284 Well anyway, you’ve got my number. 689 00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:33,786 Alright, so give me a call. I’ll see you, gorgeous. 690 00:32:36,414 --> 00:32:38,082 Wait a minute, aren’t you Frank Stallone? 691 00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:39,166 Sure, kid. 692 00:32:40,626 --> 00:32:42,253 - Who is that guy? - Frank Stallone. 693 00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:44,463 Right. I knew it. He doesn’t remember me. 694 00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,757 We had this night, I mean, it was dark and he... 695 00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:50,720 he was... he... he... I'll tell you about it some other time. 696 00:32:50,803 --> 00:32:52,030 Back to business, beautiful. I just... 697 00:32:52,054 --> 00:32:55,558 - Not gonna happen. - As in not gonna happen? 698 00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:58,895 - Ever. - As in never? 699 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,814 Ever. Ever. Ever. 700 00:33:03,316 --> 00:33:05,234 - So I guess that’s a no. - I would rather die. 701 00:33:05,735 --> 00:33:08,571 Okay. Get to the point next time. 702 00:33:26,506 --> 00:33:29,884 - Holy shit! - Hi, Molly Morrison. 703 00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:32,220 - Edna Greenleaf. - Greenleaf? 704 00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:35,973 - Yeah, I am Eddie’s sister. - Oh! 705 00:33:36,974 --> 00:33:39,560 - Nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you. 706 00:33:39,644 --> 00:33:43,231 She is great, great, great. What the fuck did you do? 707 00:33:44,398 --> 00:33:46,038 What happened sweetheart? Just a little... 708 00:33:46,108 --> 00:33:47,503 I had a little bit trouble, you know? 709 00:33:47,527 --> 00:33:50,238 - A little bit? - Don’t wear makeup much? 710 00:33:50,738 --> 00:33:54,325 It’s my first time. I mean, me and Eddie, 711 00:33:54,617 --> 00:33:57,036 - we are from Amish country. - More like clownish country. 712 00:33:57,995 --> 00:34:00,331 - Again. - Interesting. 713 00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:03,876 No. Hey, look. What is interesting, ladies. 714 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,711 We don’t care about you. Go this way. 715 00:34:05,753 --> 00:34:07,922 Okay, umm... what are we doing? 716 00:34:10,174 --> 00:34:13,135 You ever heard of Van... D... Gogh. 717 00:34:14,595 --> 00:34:16,472 He’s got no ears! What do you know. 718 00:34:17,223 --> 00:34:19,559 Hey, how are you guys doing? Hey dreamboat. 719 00:34:21,352 --> 00:34:23,187 NO, not you, shipwreck. I was taking to... 720 00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:38,786 - What took you guys so long? - Rome wasn’t built a day. 721 00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:40,872 What the fuck does that have to do with anything? 722 00:34:41,873 --> 00:34:45,459 Rome. I like that show. I watch that show. 723 00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:47,165 Drink? Let me get the drink. 724 00:34:52,925 --> 00:34:56,053 Hey, isn’t that chick from homeless shelter. 725 00:34:56,637 --> 00:34:59,765 - Jess something. - Yeah. I think so. 726 00:35:02,143 --> 00:35:04,478 - I wonder why she is here alone. - Who cares? 727 00:35:05,479 --> 00:35:07,899 - I think I am gonna go say hi. - Wh... why? 728 00:35:08,566 --> 00:35:12,695 - To be polite. - You? I mean, yeah. 729 00:35:13,696 --> 00:35:15,698 Go ahead. And I am outta here, ok? 730 00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:17,408 - Sounds good. - Yeah, me too. 731 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:21,204 Wait a minute. How would you like a ride? 732 00:35:21,454 --> 00:35:22,955 - I think I am going right... - No. 733 00:35:24,415 --> 00:35:26,334 Okay. How about you give me a ride home 734 00:35:26,417 --> 00:35:30,046 - because I don’t have a car. - No. 735 00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:35,343 You know, I saw this article today. 736 00:35:36,552 --> 00:35:38,387 - Hi. - Hi. 737 00:35:38,846 --> 00:35:40,126 Do you mind if I join you? 738 00:35:41,057 --> 00:35:42,659 - Do we know each other? - Yeah, we met at 739 00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:44,727 the homeless shelter. I was looking for that 740 00:35:44,810 --> 00:35:47,813 - homeless woman took my ID. - Oh, that’s right. 741 00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:52,652 - Your name was... Edna. - Yeah, Edna. 742 00:35:52,985 --> 00:35:55,738 - Sure, have a seat. - Thanks. 743 00:35:56,948 --> 00:35:58,407 - It’s Jess, right? - Yup. 744 00:35:59,742 --> 00:36:00,785 So you here alone? 745 00:36:02,161 --> 00:36:04,080 - No. - Alright. 746 00:36:06,123 --> 00:36:09,001 - You want some? - I’m good, thanks. 747 00:36:09,460 --> 00:36:12,338 So did you ever find that woman you were looking for? 748 00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:15,508 - Not yet. - You got... 749 00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:19,428 - What? - You got something here. 750 00:36:21,138 --> 00:36:24,267 - Thank you. - There. All gone. 751 00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:31,457 - Can I ask you something? - Yeah. Sure. 752 00:36:32,441 --> 00:36:34,861 - Are you hitting on me? - I am sorry. 753 00:36:35,403 --> 00:36:38,447 I mean, I am flattered and all. But... 754 00:36:39,115 --> 00:36:41,284 - I am straight. - Yeah, so am I. 755 00:36:42,702 --> 00:36:45,288 Oh. Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. 756 00:36:45,663 --> 00:36:47,957 No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. 757 00:36:48,291 --> 00:36:50,376 Well, in fact, it’s been a while since... 758 00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:52,378 - since anyone hit on me. - Really? 759 00:36:52,962 --> 00:36:54,338 It’s hard to believe. 760 00:36:56,465 --> 00:36:58,593 Ok. It’s all about confidence. 761 00:36:58,926 --> 00:37:00,696 You have to believe you are the most attractive, 762 00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:04,098 - desirable person in the room. - Yeah, that’s not me. 763 00:37:05,224 --> 00:37:08,394 Okay, well, there’s always liquid confidence. 764 00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,439 - Liquid confidence? - Mhm. 765 00:37:13,691 --> 00:37:14,691 Thank you. 766 00:37:33,127 --> 00:37:34,879 Ok, Jess. Do you see that guy 767 00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:35,922 over there at the bar? 768 00:37:39,008 --> 00:37:41,093 I want you to go over and talk to him. 769 00:37:44,430 --> 00:37:46,307 Nope. No way. 770 00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:47,934 Come on. What is the worst that’s 771 00:37:47,975 --> 00:37:48,976 gonna happen? 772 00:37:49,477 --> 00:37:53,856 I’ll try to flirt, and he'll laugh so hard that he... 773 00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:57,276 he falls off his chair, bangs his head, 774 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,445 and he is in coma. 775 00:38:00,988 --> 00:38:03,658 Wow, you’ve got quite an imagination. 776 00:38:04,367 --> 00:38:07,537 - I'm just saying, I can’t. - Come on, Jess. 777 00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:08,955 Come on. 778 00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:16,337 You are a smart, confident woman. 779 00:38:16,379 --> 00:38:19,382 That guy, he would be so lucky to date you. 780 00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:23,511 I'm a smart, confident woman... 781 00:38:25,471 --> 00:38:26,722 - Ok. - Ok. Wait. 782 00:38:27,807 --> 00:38:29,100 Do you need those glasses? 783 00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:33,646 - Only to see. - OK. That’s fine. 784 00:38:34,605 --> 00:38:36,148 - Okay. - You look great. 785 00:38:54,542 --> 00:38:56,544 - Hi. - Hey. 786 00:38:58,462 --> 00:38:59,547 Watching the game? 787 00:39:00,089 --> 00:39:01,757 Yeah, I am watching the game. 788 00:39:04,302 --> 00:39:06,137 - I’m Jess. - Dylan. 789 00:39:08,472 --> 00:39:11,684 So, Dylan, you come here often? 790 00:39:13,060 --> 00:39:16,606 Look. I bet you are really nice person, 791 00:39:16,898 --> 00:39:20,109 but I have girlfriend, and I’m a little bit busy right now. 792 00:39:20,276 --> 00:39:23,696 - So I am sorry. - I am really sorry. 793 00:39:25,198 --> 00:39:28,492 Friggin’ Dodgers. Biggest payroll in baseball 794 00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:30,161 and they're playing like minor leaguers. 795 00:39:30,453 --> 00:39:31,704 Tell me about it. I know. 796 00:39:32,496 --> 00:39:33,976 I bet you can hit better than Bradley. 797 00:39:34,665 --> 00:39:38,336 - And look better doing it. - Dylan. 798 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:40,922 - Edna. - Edna, can I buy you a drink? 799 00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:42,924 - Yeah, sure. - What would you like to have? 800 00:39:44,634 --> 00:39:47,470 Dirty martini. Extra dirty. 801 00:39:48,638 --> 00:39:53,518 Papa, can I get a dirty martini. Extra dirty, please. 802 00:39:54,393 --> 00:39:56,312 So, Edna, how come I’ve never seen you? 803 00:39:56,896 --> 00:39:59,899 - It’s me first time in here. - I guess this is my lucky day. 804 00:40:00,316 --> 00:40:01,609 I guess it’s mine too. 805 00:40:02,610 --> 00:40:03,610 Thank you. 806 00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:07,740 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. Shoot. 807 00:40:09,450 --> 00:40:12,078 - Are you single? - As matter of fact, I am. 808 00:40:12,703 --> 00:40:13,704 I see. 809 00:40:18,501 --> 00:40:20,169 - What the hell? - Come on, Jess. 810 00:40:20,253 --> 00:40:22,463 We are going. He is a right wanker anyway. 811 00:40:30,304 --> 00:40:32,849 - That was awesome. - It really was. 812 00:40:33,057 --> 00:40:34,433 You shot that guy down. 813 00:40:36,269 --> 00:40:37,478 Down to the ground. 814 00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:41,440 - You just snorted. - Oh, I am sorry. 815 00:40:41,732 --> 00:40:43,484 Come on. It’s really cute. 816 00:40:43,693 --> 00:40:47,405 - Why are hot guys like that? - What do you mean? 817 00:40:47,905 --> 00:40:51,367 - You know like... ow! - I am sorry, Jess. 818 00:40:51,450 --> 00:40:55,121 - Like superficial dirt bags. - I know, right. 819 00:40:55,913 --> 00:40:59,876 - Why do you think that is? - I... I don’t know. 820 00:41:00,209 --> 00:41:02,461 - I mean, men right? - Men. 821 00:41:02,962 --> 00:41:05,923 Do you want me to give you a ride back to mine? 822 00:41:08,384 --> 00:41:09,468 Jess, are you ok? 823 00:41:11,846 --> 00:41:12,847 You all right? 824 00:41:17,310 --> 00:41:20,021 Look. It’s cheese fries. 825 00:41:20,396 --> 00:41:21,981 I mean, are you all right? 826 00:41:23,065 --> 00:41:24,376 I’m going to take you back to mine. 827 00:42:11,739 --> 00:42:13,074 Welcome to adult warehouse. 828 00:42:13,115 --> 00:42:15,201 The paradise for sexually-active adults. 829 00:42:15,743 --> 00:42:18,663 Um, hi. I was kinda, you know, 830 00:42:18,704 --> 00:42:20,849 wandering outside, and thought I’d come in have a look. 831 00:42:20,873 --> 00:42:22,226 Don’t worry, nothing in here bites. 832 00:42:22,250 --> 00:42:25,253 - Unless you want it to. - Good one. 833 00:42:25,545 --> 00:42:27,481 - Do you have any questions? - We are here to serve you. 834 00:42:27,505 --> 00:42:29,715 Yeah. You guys have anything 835 00:42:29,757 --> 00:42:31,759 you recommend if you wanna, you know. 836 00:42:31,884 --> 00:42:35,680 - Get your Amelia Earhart on? - I’m sorry? 837 00:42:36,097 --> 00:42:38,933 She means fly solo. Yeah, yeah, that. 838 00:42:39,141 --> 00:42:40,768 - Wonderful. - Right this way. 839 00:42:48,234 --> 00:42:50,278 This is where you’ll find your beaver buzzers, 840 00:42:50,319 --> 00:42:52,572 magic wands, pussy plungers, hamburger helpers 841 00:42:52,613 --> 00:42:53,781 and wacky wobblers. 842 00:42:54,115 --> 00:42:56,325 Personally, I like the butterfly. 843 00:42:56,701 --> 00:42:58,202 It really makes me squirt! 844 00:42:58,244 --> 00:42:59,954 And I like the butterfly too. 845 00:43:00,037 --> 00:43:01,873 You can even get one with a butt plug. 846 00:43:01,956 --> 00:43:04,184 It makes you wonder why you put up with guys and all their games. 847 00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:05,209 It really does. 848 00:43:07,962 --> 00:43:08,963 Hey! 849 00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:12,216 That blow-up doll is for display purposes only! 850 00:43:12,341 --> 00:43:14,135 Yeah, we're talking to you, pal! 851 00:43:16,929 --> 00:43:18,764 School principals. 852 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:22,226 Well... have fun. 853 00:43:22,393 --> 00:43:24,020 Find us if you have any more questions. 854 00:43:28,191 --> 00:43:29,442 Holy shit! 855 00:43:47,335 --> 00:43:48,836 Need some help? 856 00:43:49,045 --> 00:43:50,046 Yeah, thanks. 857 00:43:52,590 --> 00:43:53,591 Never been here before. 858 00:43:53,883 --> 00:43:56,344 Well, I think they have a, a policy. 859 00:43:56,427 --> 00:43:58,221 You knock it to the floor, you bought it. 860 00:43:58,429 --> 00:44:00,115 Well, I guess I'll have to throw a party, then. 861 00:44:00,139 --> 00:44:01,307 I'm Matt. 862 00:44:02,099 --> 00:44:03,726 - Edna. - I'm here to... 863 00:44:04,185 --> 00:44:05,561 find a gag gift for my... 864 00:44:06,062 --> 00:44:07,313 my buddy's bachelor party. 865 00:44:07,605 --> 00:44:09,106 Wow, if you're looking to gag someone 866 00:44:09,232 --> 00:44:10,512 I think this might do the trick. 867 00:44:10,816 --> 00:44:11,817 Wow. 868 00:44:11,859 --> 00:44:13,170 Think they modeled that on someone? 869 00:44:13,194 --> 00:44:14,820 Yeah. Sea Biscuit. 870 00:44:17,865 --> 00:44:19,283 A girl who knows her horses. 871 00:44:19,325 --> 00:44:20,785 That's really unusual. 872 00:44:20,868 --> 00:44:21,869 Yeah. 873 00:44:22,203 --> 00:44:23,871 - I'm pretty unusual. - Really? 874 00:44:24,956 --> 00:44:27,583 OK, I... I know this might seem forward and all, but... 875 00:44:27,959 --> 00:44:30,599 what would you think about meeting me for a cup of coffee some time? 876 00:44:31,587 --> 00:44:33,506 Now, you don't have to decide right now. 877 00:44:34,257 --> 00:44:35,257 Here's my card. 878 00:44:35,758 --> 00:44:36,759 You get thirsty, 879 00:44:36,843 --> 00:44:37,843 you give me a call. 880 00:44:37,885 --> 00:44:38,886 All right. 881 00:44:40,096 --> 00:44:42,181 And, it doesn't have to be coffee. It could be tea. 882 00:44:43,432 --> 00:44:44,809 Whatever you like. It's on me. 883 00:44:50,231 --> 00:44:51,983 I think I'm gonna fix him up with Jess. 884 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:53,401 Uhuh. 885 00:44:54,485 --> 00:44:56,153 - An investment banker. - Uhuh. 886 00:44:56,195 --> 00:44:58,114 - Not bad. - He's pretty good looking, too. 887 00:44:59,323 --> 00:45:00,950 OK. Is that Eddie or Edna talking? 888 00:45:01,033 --> 00:45:02,410 - Umm... - I'm just saying. 889 00:45:04,370 --> 00:45:05,746 So, uhh... wow. 890 00:45:06,622 --> 00:45:07,707 Where'd you meet him? 891 00:45:08,958 --> 00:45:09,959 Where? 892 00:45:10,376 --> 00:45:12,253 Yeah, where? What is it, a secret? 893 00:45:12,378 --> 00:45:13,546 Nope. 894 00:45:15,464 --> 00:45:16,465 So where'd you meet him? 895 00:45:20,052 --> 00:45:21,387 Adult Warehouse. 896 00:45:21,596 --> 00:45:24,307 I mean, I had to get out of here before I wore out my nipples. 897 00:45:24,348 --> 00:45:26,108 Oh, really? Yeah, I get that. The question is 898 00:45:26,350 --> 00:45:27,685 did you buy anything... 899 00:45:29,020 --> 00:45:30,021 What? 900 00:45:30,229 --> 00:45:31,606 - I mean... - Eddie! 901 00:45:32,148 --> 00:45:33,983 I mean, really? I said embrace it, but... 902 00:45:34,483 --> 00:45:36,152 - I just... - This, this will kill you. 903 00:45:36,736 --> 00:45:39,030 I thought it might be useful for my third book, you know? 904 00:45:39,322 --> 00:45:41,032 Third book? Third and final book. 905 00:45:41,073 --> 00:45:42,473 What are you doing to yourself here? 906 00:45:42,617 --> 00:45:43,618 My god. 907 00:45:43,701 --> 00:45:44,702 - Yeah... - I mean... 908 00:45:45,119 --> 00:45:46,162 you embraced it. 909 00:45:47,455 --> 00:45:49,207 OK, I just gotta tell you. 910 00:45:49,248 --> 00:45:51,250 This, the whole thing, I'm not feeling 911 00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:53,169 too good about, this. 912 00:45:53,211 --> 00:45:55,463 Well, I just wanted to test my female parts, you know? 913 00:45:56,005 --> 00:45:57,006 I'm out of here, pal. 914 00:45:57,048 --> 00:45:58,568 You've got your own... you're home now. 915 00:45:58,883 --> 00:45:59,967 That's just too much. 916 00:46:12,146 --> 00:46:14,649 Don't worry, OK? We'll find a place for you to sleep tonight. 917 00:46:14,899 --> 00:46:17,026 Even if you have to come home and stay at mine. 918 00:46:17,276 --> 00:46:18,319 - OK? - OK. 919 00:46:18,402 --> 00:46:19,820 So sweet. 920 00:46:20,738 --> 00:46:22,281 - Edna. Hi. - Hi, Jess. 921 00:46:22,323 --> 00:46:23,991 Why don't you go wait by there? OK, then? 922 00:46:24,742 --> 00:46:26,994 Just stopping by, cause I found you a date. 923 00:46:27,578 --> 00:46:28,579 You did? 924 00:46:28,913 --> 00:46:32,124 He's nice-looking, successful, good sense of humor. 925 00:46:32,208 --> 00:46:33,209 What do you think? 926 00:46:33,501 --> 00:46:34,585 I don't know... 927 00:46:34,669 --> 00:46:37,505 Oh, come on, Jess, you asked me to introduce you to someone. 928 00:46:37,797 --> 00:46:38,798 I know. 929 00:46:39,215 --> 00:46:40,258 So, what's the problem? 930 00:46:40,591 --> 00:46:41,592 It's just... 931 00:46:41,717 --> 00:46:44,220 I don't think I can take any more rejection right now, OK? 932 00:46:51,269 --> 00:46:53,980 There are a few things we could do to improve your chances. 933 00:46:54,856 --> 00:46:55,898 What do you mean? 934 00:46:56,190 --> 00:46:57,191 Do you trust me? 935 00:46:58,818 --> 00:46:59,819 Yes... 936 00:47:00,152 --> 00:47:01,632 Sweetheart, listen. 937 00:47:03,114 --> 00:47:04,699 When I get done with you... 938 00:47:05,283 --> 00:47:06,701 you are going to attract 939 00:47:06,826 --> 00:47:09,203 more men, than pre-menopausal Madonna. 940 00:47:09,579 --> 00:47:11,664 - Oh, you really think so? - I know so. 941 00:47:11,998 --> 00:47:12,999 You see these hands? 942 00:47:14,709 --> 00:47:16,419 These are magical hands. 943 00:47:16,502 --> 00:47:19,505 And they should be registered with the Magicians' Guild of America. 944 00:47:19,672 --> 00:47:21,215 Trust me, Jess, he's the best. 945 00:47:21,382 --> 00:47:22,717 That's what he said. 946 00:47:23,843 --> 00:47:24,844 Uhuh. 947 00:47:27,972 --> 00:47:29,724 OK, here I come. 948 00:47:35,188 --> 00:47:36,189 Wow. 949 00:47:36,689 --> 00:47:39,734 You've become beautiful moth. 950 00:47:39,942 --> 00:47:41,152 Don't you mean, butterfly? 951 00:47:41,485 --> 00:47:42,486 Whatever. 952 00:47:43,696 --> 00:47:45,990 Are you sure it's not a little, too revealing? 953 00:47:46,115 --> 00:47:47,241 No, no. 954 00:47:47,783 --> 00:47:50,077 It's the, uhh, perfect amount of revealing. 955 00:47:50,745 --> 00:47:53,164 Now you are ready, become trophy wife. 956 00:47:53,247 --> 00:47:55,541 Oh, that's not my goal. 957 00:47:57,293 --> 00:47:58,878 All you have to do is be yourself. 958 00:47:59,420 --> 00:48:01,172 I mean, there's a lot to like. 959 00:48:01,839 --> 00:48:02,840 You think so? 960 00:48:03,466 --> 00:48:04,717 More than you know. 961 00:48:06,427 --> 00:48:07,428 Can I ask you something? 962 00:48:08,304 --> 00:48:09,972 - Sure. - How come... 963 00:48:10,515 --> 00:48:12,435 you haven't tried to fix me up with your brother? 964 00:48:12,975 --> 00:48:14,310 - With Eddie? - Uhuh. 965 00:48:14,644 --> 00:48:15,645 Umm... 966 00:48:15,811 --> 00:48:16,812 Uhh... 967 00:48:17,772 --> 00:48:19,452 Because I don't know when he's coming back. 968 00:48:19,649 --> 00:48:20,650 Where did he go? 969 00:48:21,067 --> 00:48:22,068 Eddie... 970 00:48:22,151 --> 00:48:23,152 went to prison. 971 00:48:28,074 --> 00:48:29,075 Shut up. 972 00:48:32,161 --> 00:48:33,162 Oh my gosh. 973 00:48:33,913 --> 00:48:34,914 I'm so sorry. 974 00:48:35,248 --> 00:48:36,249 It's OK. 975 00:48:36,582 --> 00:48:38,084 It must be really hard on your family. 976 00:48:38,292 --> 00:48:39,502 Yeah, it is. 977 00:48:41,254 --> 00:48:42,463 Can I ask what he did? 978 00:48:44,423 --> 00:48:45,466 Eddie's a fraud. 979 00:48:46,467 --> 00:48:48,469 I mean like, he committed a fraud. 980 00:48:49,136 --> 00:48:50,513 Wow. Really? 981 00:48:55,643 --> 00:48:57,520 - Crazy white people. - Tell me about it. 982 00:48:58,187 --> 00:48:59,480 I think this one is a lesbian. 983 00:48:59,647 --> 00:49:00,648 Really? 984 00:49:00,898 --> 00:49:02,149 Strange vibe. 985 00:49:02,567 --> 00:49:05,069 Maybe you should fix her up with your cousin. 986 00:49:05,194 --> 00:49:07,655 She doesn't like white chicks. 987 00:49:18,666 --> 00:49:21,169 I'm thinking of taking Eddie's place in the fashion show. 988 00:49:22,420 --> 00:49:23,588 It's for a good cause, right? 989 00:49:24,839 --> 00:49:26,632 No, I was out with Jess. 990 00:49:27,216 --> 00:49:28,676 We went and got pedicures. 991 00:49:29,552 --> 00:49:31,637 My feet have never looked so good. 992 00:49:32,889 --> 00:49:33,890 What? 993 00:49:34,182 --> 00:49:36,684 I am not sending you a picture of my feet. 994 00:49:37,268 --> 00:49:38,436 Goodbye, Steve! 995 00:49:40,980 --> 00:49:41,981 I mean 996 00:49:42,023 --> 00:49:43,482 what's the big deal with this thing? 997 00:49:47,153 --> 00:49:48,154 Damn. 998 00:49:56,954 --> 00:49:58,873 OK, remember. If you and Matt hit it off 999 00:49:58,956 --> 00:50:01,459 just say the code word and I'll make an excuse to leave. 1000 00:50:01,834 --> 00:50:02,835 Bananas. Hmm? 1001 00:50:03,419 --> 00:50:04,504 All right, we're here. 1002 00:50:08,341 --> 00:50:09,342 - Hi. - Hi. 1003 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,344 I hope you don't mind, I... 1004 00:50:11,677 --> 00:50:12,762 brought along a friend. 1005 00:50:12,929 --> 00:50:13,930 This is Jess. 1006 00:50:14,514 --> 00:50:16,182 - This is Matt. - Hi. Nice to meet you. 1007 00:50:16,224 --> 00:50:17,225 Nice to meet you. 1008 00:50:17,558 --> 00:50:19,101 So, what would you guys like to drink? 1009 00:50:19,185 --> 00:50:20,770 No, no, no. Let me get this. 1010 00:50:20,811 --> 00:50:22,897 No, no. You guys chat and get to know each other. 1011 00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:23,981 I'll go get the drinks. 1012 00:50:24,690 --> 00:50:26,317 - OK. - A cappuccino. 1013 00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:27,401 Cool. 1014 00:50:36,869 --> 00:50:38,037 Here you go. 1015 00:50:41,916 --> 00:50:44,544 - What can I get started for you? - Uhh, two cappuccinos, please. 1016 00:50:46,838 --> 00:50:47,839 Here you go. Hey. 1017 00:50:48,464 --> 00:50:49,465 That's for you. 1018 00:50:52,343 --> 00:50:55,847 You gotta get those young ladies used to getting flowers, you know? 1019 00:50:55,972 --> 00:50:57,890 That's true, that's true. 1020 00:50:57,974 --> 00:50:59,892 It's not gonna be the last time, hopefully. 1021 00:51:00,852 --> 00:51:01,894 Hopefully not. 1022 00:51:02,311 --> 00:51:03,312 Can I get your name? 1023 00:51:03,729 --> 00:51:04,730 And your number? 1024 00:51:06,524 --> 00:51:08,401 What? What do you need my number for? 1025 00:51:08,776 --> 00:51:09,777 So I can call you later. 1026 00:51:10,319 --> 00:51:11,320 OK, look. 1027 00:51:11,821 --> 00:51:12,822 I'm a dude. 1028 00:51:13,698 --> 00:51:14,699 You're a dude. 1029 00:51:14,991 --> 00:51:15,992 Yeah, that's right. 1030 00:51:16,826 --> 00:51:18,220 What're you playing? Hide the banana? 1031 00:51:18,244 --> 00:51:19,287 Yeah, something like that. 1032 00:51:20,288 --> 00:51:21,608 You could've just said no, thanks. 1033 00:51:22,957 --> 00:51:24,208 You're a fine-ass dude, though. 1034 00:51:31,465 --> 00:51:33,467 - There you go. - Oh, thank you. 1035 00:51:33,551 --> 00:51:34,552 Cappuccino. 1036 00:51:36,345 --> 00:51:38,890 Did you know that Matt volunteers at a homeless shelter? 1037 00:51:38,931 --> 00:51:40,975 - No. - Yeah, it's no big deal. I... 1038 00:51:41,392 --> 00:51:43,769 I was raised by a family who believe in giving back. 1039 00:51:44,270 --> 00:51:45,271 Oh. 1040 00:51:45,646 --> 00:51:48,024 Actually, he's gonna volunteer at my shelter this weekend. 1041 00:51:48,482 --> 00:51:49,483 Really? 1042 00:51:49,525 --> 00:51:52,236 Yeah, I figure I'm doing my part no matter which shelter I'm at. 1043 00:51:52,445 --> 00:51:53,446 OK. 1044 00:51:53,738 --> 00:51:55,823 So at what shelter do you normally volunteer at? 1045 00:51:56,032 --> 00:51:57,491 Uhh, you... 1046 00:51:57,867 --> 00:52:00,036 probably wouldn't know. It's on the other side of town. 1047 00:52:00,244 --> 00:52:01,245 Actually... 1048 00:52:01,454 --> 00:52:03,456 I know pretty much every shelter in town. 1049 00:52:03,539 --> 00:52:05,416 Right. 1050 00:52:05,458 --> 00:52:06,501 Go on, give me a try. 1051 00:52:07,084 --> 00:52:08,085 Uhh... 1052 00:52:08,628 --> 00:52:10,004 OK, umm... 1053 00:52:10,379 --> 00:52:11,714 Well, it's... umm... 1054 00:52:12,882 --> 00:52:13,883 it's on... 1055 00:52:14,342 --> 00:52:17,136 Edna, did you happen to see if the, umm... 1056 00:52:17,595 --> 00:52:18,763 if they have any bananas? 1057 00:52:19,096 --> 00:52:20,097 I'm sorry? 1058 00:52:20,473 --> 00:52:22,183 You know, bananas. 1059 00:52:22,808 --> 00:52:24,268 My banana's gone AWOL. 1060 00:52:25,311 --> 00:52:26,312 What? 1061 00:52:29,315 --> 00:52:30,399 I mean, our bananas. 1062 00:52:31,275 --> 00:52:32,610 They don't have any bananas. 1063 00:52:33,486 --> 00:52:34,487 Oh... 1064 00:52:34,529 --> 00:52:37,823 Uhh, I'd be happy to split my cup cake with you. 1065 00:52:38,533 --> 00:52:40,493 - Oh god. - Thank you, that's so sweet. 1066 00:52:40,826 --> 00:52:42,537 You know, I'm gonna really have to go. 1067 00:52:42,870 --> 00:52:44,848 I've got something really important to take care of. 1068 00:52:44,872 --> 00:52:46,082 - Oh, really? - Uhuh. 1069 00:52:46,249 --> 00:52:47,291 Yeah, but you guys, 1070 00:52:47,416 --> 00:52:49,056 you guys have fun. Get to know each other. 1071 00:52:50,378 --> 00:52:51,418 Is that OK with you, Jess? 1072 00:52:51,462 --> 00:52:52,463 I'd like that. 1073 00:52:52,922 --> 00:52:53,923 Great. 1074 00:52:55,049 --> 00:52:56,050 See ya. 1075 00:52:56,175 --> 00:52:57,176 Yeah. 1076 00:52:59,178 --> 00:53:00,179 So... 1077 00:53:00,763 --> 00:53:02,043 tell me a little about yourself. 1078 00:53:02,098 --> 00:53:03,766 Well, umm, as you know I work... 1079 00:53:04,559 --> 00:53:06,310 - You're jealous. - No, I'm not. 1080 00:53:06,394 --> 00:53:07,395 Bullshit. 1081 00:53:07,687 --> 00:53:09,689 Look, I'm just a little worried about her. 1082 00:53:10,022 --> 00:53:11,774 Why? You're the one who set them up, right? 1083 00:53:12,108 --> 00:53:13,317 I thought it'd be different. 1084 00:53:13,818 --> 00:53:16,153 Different? Why? What do you mean? Like what? 1085 00:53:16,654 --> 00:53:18,072 Different than us. 1086 00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:19,282 What? 1087 00:53:19,949 --> 00:53:22,368 Look. Maybe it's my female hormones talking, but... 1088 00:53:22,952 --> 00:53:25,997 the idea of tricking women to get them into bed, it just seems... 1089 00:53:26,998 --> 00:53:27,999 wrong. 1090 00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,125 Is there any other way? 1091 00:53:30,626 --> 00:53:32,646 Besides, you're the one who wrote the how-to manual. 1092 00:53:32,670 --> 00:53:34,505 - I know. - Actually, two manuals 1093 00:53:34,714 --> 00:53:36,799 - the blog, the article... - I said I know. 1094 00:53:37,592 --> 00:53:39,194 - Touchy. - Hey, you're the one who told me 1095 00:53:39,218 --> 00:53:41,804 I should start looking at stuff from a female's perspective. 1096 00:53:43,014 --> 00:53:44,140 Damn, I did, didn't I? 1097 00:53:44,515 --> 00:53:47,643 Umm, I'm just starting to realize there's more to life than one-night stands. 1098 00:53:47,727 --> 00:53:48,728 Is there? 1099 00:53:49,562 --> 00:53:52,648 I mean, haven't you ever thought about being in a relationship? 1100 00:53:53,232 --> 00:53:54,525 You know, like getting married? 1101 00:53:55,484 --> 00:53:56,986 Dude, that's messed up. 1102 00:53:57,236 --> 00:53:58,237 Is it? 1103 00:53:58,279 --> 00:53:59,572 I mean, come on, Eddie. 1104 00:54:00,406 --> 00:54:03,075 Please, you're starting to sound like an old woman, or an old man 1105 00:54:03,242 --> 00:54:05,536 or, whatever it is that you are. 1106 00:54:06,579 --> 00:54:08,623 - OK, maybe you're right. - No, I am right. 1107 00:54:09,540 --> 00:54:10,541 It's just... 1108 00:54:10,791 --> 00:54:13,503 you know, Jess, she's different to the other girls I've been with. 1109 00:54:15,046 --> 00:54:16,482 What is that supposed to mean, Eddie? 1110 00:54:16,506 --> 00:54:19,050 She's kind, she's smart, she's vulnerable. 1111 00:54:19,217 --> 00:54:22,261 And when she laughs, she does like, you know, this sort of snort thing. 1112 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:23,846 It's really cute. 1113 00:54:24,639 --> 00:54:25,640 Oh shit! 1114 00:54:26,390 --> 00:54:27,433 You're falling for her. 1115 00:54:27,558 --> 00:54:28,809 - That's crazy. - Is it? 1116 00:54:29,268 --> 00:54:31,354 - Hey, we're up next! - You know I'm right. 1117 00:54:31,521 --> 00:54:32,980 - Yeah? - I know you're an idiot. 1118 00:54:33,105 --> 00:54:35,025 Yeah, I'm an idiot, but you're in love with Jess. 1119 00:54:35,191 --> 00:54:36,984 You're in love with Jess. 1120 00:54:37,151 --> 00:54:38,751 You're in love with... 1121 00:54:43,241 --> 00:54:44,325 You're an idiot. 1122 00:54:51,499 --> 00:54:52,500 - Hi. - Hi. 1123 00:54:52,583 --> 00:54:54,001 I was just actually running a bath. 1124 00:54:54,377 --> 00:54:56,003 Oh. I can go and come back. 1125 00:54:56,087 --> 00:54:57,213 Don't be silly, come on in. 1126 00:54:57,380 --> 00:54:59,380 I can pour you some wine, we can talk while I soak. 1127 00:54:59,507 --> 00:55:00,716 Oh. 1128 00:55:00,758 --> 00:55:01,843 Something wrong? 1129 00:55:01,926 --> 00:55:02,927 Uh, no. 1130 00:55:03,177 --> 00:55:04,345 Good. So, red or white? 1131 00:55:04,470 --> 00:55:06,138 Uhh, red. Red would be great. 1132 00:55:06,222 --> 00:55:07,223 Red it is. 1133 00:55:07,932 --> 00:55:09,141 This is my kitchen. 1134 00:55:09,225 --> 00:55:10,810 Oh, very nice. I like it. 1135 00:55:10,852 --> 00:55:12,120 Sorry, it's a little bit of a mess. 1136 00:55:12,144 --> 00:55:13,145 No, no. 1137 00:55:13,938 --> 00:55:15,815 Oh, this is all that's left. 1138 00:55:19,861 --> 00:55:20,862 Oh. 1139 00:55:21,153 --> 00:55:22,154 Thirsty? 1140 00:55:22,864 --> 00:55:23,865 Yeah. 1141 00:55:24,657 --> 00:55:25,741 All right, then. 1142 00:55:26,325 --> 00:55:27,326 Follow me. 1143 00:55:31,998 --> 00:55:33,478 Have a seat right there. 1144 00:55:34,542 --> 00:55:35,811 I'd invite you to join me, but... 1145 00:55:40,006 --> 00:55:41,215 Are you all right, Edna? 1146 00:55:42,383 --> 00:55:43,384 What? 1147 00:55:44,343 --> 00:55:45,344 I'm good. 1148 00:55:45,928 --> 00:55:46,929 OK. 1149 00:55:51,434 --> 00:55:53,060 So, you said you wanted to talk? 1150 00:55:53,561 --> 00:55:56,981 Yeah, yeah, I'm just kind of curious about how things with you and Matt go. 1151 00:55:57,231 --> 00:55:58,232 Really well. 1152 00:55:58,357 --> 00:55:59,918 We've been talking every day on the phone. 1153 00:55:59,942 --> 00:56:01,262 Oh, so you're gonna see him again? 1154 00:56:01,569 --> 00:56:03,487 Tomorrow, when he volunteers at the shelter. 1155 00:56:03,821 --> 00:56:04,822 Right. 1156 00:56:05,114 --> 00:56:07,450 You know, he seems like a great guy. 1157 00:56:08,326 --> 00:56:10,745 Yeah, I mean, he does seem that way, doesn't he? 1158 00:56:11,162 --> 00:56:13,581 Plus, he is so dreamy. 1159 00:56:13,831 --> 00:56:14,832 OK, Jess. 1160 00:56:15,124 --> 00:56:16,542 Promise me you'll be careful again. 1161 00:56:16,918 --> 00:56:17,960 What do you mean? 1162 00:56:18,127 --> 00:56:20,171 I just don't know Matt that well. 1163 00:56:20,379 --> 00:56:21,631 And sometimes, guys... 1164 00:56:22,048 --> 00:56:23,257 they can be snakes. 1165 00:56:23,716 --> 00:56:24,717 You're so sweet. 1166 00:56:24,842 --> 00:56:25,843 Yeah. 1167 00:56:26,093 --> 00:56:27,220 I'm a lot of things. 1168 00:56:27,845 --> 00:56:30,723 So, how come you didn't go after Matt yourself? 1169 00:56:31,474 --> 00:56:32,642 He's not really my type. 1170 00:56:33,059 --> 00:56:34,560 - No? - Nah. 1171 00:56:35,019 --> 00:56:36,020 Plus... 1172 00:56:36,354 --> 00:56:37,939 kind of have my eye on someone else. 1173 00:56:39,023 --> 00:56:41,150 Oh, is it that guy you came by the shelter with? 1174 00:56:41,275 --> 00:56:42,318 - Steve? - Yes. 1175 00:56:42,944 --> 00:56:44,529 No. He wishes. 1176 00:56:45,071 --> 00:56:46,072 Nah, not him. 1177 00:56:47,198 --> 00:56:48,199 Someone who... 1178 00:56:48,449 --> 00:56:50,117 doesn't really know how I feel about them. 1179 00:56:50,826 --> 00:56:52,203 Then why don't you just go for it? 1180 00:56:55,414 --> 00:56:56,749 - Edna. - Umm... 1181 00:56:57,792 --> 00:56:58,793 I can't. 1182 00:56:59,377 --> 00:57:00,378 Come on. 1183 00:57:00,628 --> 00:57:02,213 You're a smart, confident woman. 1184 00:57:02,547 --> 00:57:04,006 Any guy would be lucky to date you. 1185 00:57:04,131 --> 00:57:05,800 Touché. 1186 00:57:20,481 --> 00:57:21,482 So I said, 1187 00:57:21,649 --> 00:57:23,025 "How about a little notice." 1188 00:57:23,401 --> 00:57:25,236 - What a concept. - I know, right? 1189 00:57:30,575 --> 00:57:31,576 Excuse me. 1190 00:57:33,786 --> 00:57:35,955 I noticed you came out from Lewis, Brown and Anderson. 1191 00:57:36,163 --> 00:57:37,957 - Yeah? - Do you know Matt Flannery? 1192 00:57:38,249 --> 00:57:39,625 - I work for him. - You do? 1193 00:57:39,834 --> 00:57:40,835 Yeah, why? 1194 00:57:40,877 --> 00:57:43,045 I met him the other day and he asked me out. 1195 00:57:45,173 --> 00:57:46,841 - He asked you out? - Yeah. 1196 00:57:47,049 --> 00:57:49,135 - I don't think so, honey. - What do you mean? 1197 00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,346 - Matt's happily married. - With three kids. 1198 00:58:00,271 --> 00:58:03,232 How do you know the guy was married? 1199 00:58:03,316 --> 00:58:04,609 I talked to his secretary. 1200 00:58:05,276 --> 00:58:06,360 Damn, you're good. 1201 00:58:06,527 --> 00:58:08,404 Yeah? And Matt's a scumbag. 1202 00:58:09,572 --> 00:58:10,573 Huh. 1203 00:58:10,865 --> 00:58:11,866 What? 1204 00:58:12,033 --> 00:58:13,760 Come on, you gotta give this guy some props, right? 1205 00:58:13,784 --> 00:58:14,928 It's quite the scam he pulled off. 1206 00:58:14,952 --> 00:58:16,763 I'd like to give him something, but it ain't props. 1207 00:58:16,787 --> 00:58:18,599 Well, you know what? Old Eddie would have been impressed. 1208 00:58:18,623 --> 00:58:21,000 Yeah, well, new Eddie would like to kick old Eddie's ass. 1209 00:58:21,042 --> 00:58:23,961 Yeah? I'd put my money on old Eddie, cause new Eddie seems a little gay. 1210 00:58:25,505 --> 00:58:26,589 You're an idiot. 1211 00:58:27,715 --> 00:58:28,716 I know. 1212 00:58:33,846 --> 00:58:34,847 This is complicated. 1213 00:58:51,864 --> 00:58:52,865 Oh, Edna! 1214 00:58:52,949 --> 00:58:54,909 Hi, Jess, you made it. 1215 00:58:55,034 --> 00:58:56,202 Thanks for inviting me. 1216 00:58:56,702 --> 00:58:58,704 - And for the backstage pass. - Sure. 1217 00:58:59,747 --> 00:59:00,748 Did you come alone? 1218 00:59:01,415 --> 00:59:04,669 Yeah, I invited Matt, but he, uhh, he had to go out of town for work. 1219 00:59:04,919 --> 00:59:06,045 - Really? - Yeah. 1220 00:59:06,546 --> 00:59:08,482 OK, you're all set. You should report to the staging area. 1221 00:59:08,506 --> 00:59:09,507 OK, thanks. 1222 00:59:09,757 --> 00:59:12,426 Edna, I have to tell you, Matt is such a great guy. 1223 00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:13,946 After we got done at the shelter 1224 00:59:13,970 --> 00:59:16,472 he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. 1225 00:59:17,223 --> 00:59:19,618 And then, after dinner, we stopped by his boat for a nightcap. 1226 00:59:19,642 --> 00:59:20,643 He has a boat? 1227 00:59:20,935 --> 00:59:22,937 Well, actually Matt says it's called a sloop 1228 00:59:23,271 --> 00:59:24,522 because it has three masts. 1229 00:59:24,647 --> 00:59:25,731 Damn, he's good. 1230 00:59:26,274 --> 00:59:27,292 Well, I wouldn't know that. 1231 00:59:27,316 --> 00:59:29,193 I have this rule, no sex until the third date. 1232 00:59:29,569 --> 00:59:32,113 But, I will say he is a very good kisser. 1233 00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:34,120 OK, listen, I need to tell you something, Jess. 1234 00:59:34,574 --> 00:59:35,575 What is it? 1235 00:59:36,617 --> 00:59:37,827 OK, how do I put this? 1236 00:59:38,119 --> 00:59:39,120 Just say it. 1237 00:59:39,453 --> 00:59:41,080 Matt is, umm... 1238 00:59:41,706 --> 00:59:42,707 Yeah? 1239 00:59:42,832 --> 00:59:43,833 married. 1240 00:59:44,625 --> 00:59:46,627 - You're wrong. - I spoke to his secretary. 1241 00:59:47,420 --> 00:59:48,546 Why are you doing this? 1242 00:59:48,629 --> 00:59:49,922 To protect you, Jess. 1243 00:59:50,214 --> 00:59:52,717 You deserve to be with someone who really cares about you. 1244 00:59:52,884 --> 00:59:54,343 Not someone who's running a scam. 1245 00:59:54,927 --> 00:59:56,137 I knew it! You're a lesbian! 1246 00:59:56,262 --> 00:59:59,015 What? No, I'm not a lesbian. 1247 00:59:59,348 --> 01:00:01,434 I am just a man trapped in a woman's body. 1248 01:00:01,475 --> 01:00:02,476 What? 1249 01:00:03,144 --> 01:00:05,938 Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but the thing is... 1250 01:00:06,731 --> 01:00:08,371 I ran into a homeless woman the other day. 1251 01:00:08,482 --> 01:00:09,650 She asked me to kiss her. 1252 01:00:10,484 --> 01:00:13,029 Said it would prove that I could see the beauty in all women. 1253 01:00:13,571 --> 01:00:16,199 I refused. The next day I wake up, I am no longer Eddie. 1254 01:00:16,365 --> 01:00:17,366 I am Edna. 1255 01:00:18,159 --> 01:00:19,452 And so, I need to find her. 1256 01:00:19,493 --> 01:00:20,661 Because all I can figure is, 1257 01:00:20,703 --> 01:00:22,538 you know, she's put some kind of spell on me. 1258 01:00:22,997 --> 01:00:24,081 And so, once I find her 1259 01:00:24,123 --> 01:00:26,167 she can change me back into being Eddie. 1260 01:00:28,961 --> 01:00:30,338 Come on, say something. 1261 01:00:31,547 --> 01:00:33,216 I don't ever want to see you again. 1262 01:00:34,008 --> 01:00:36,511 - What? - Don't call me, don't 1263 01:00:36,719 --> 01:00:38,763 text me, don't just stop by and see me! 1264 01:00:39,096 --> 01:00:40,473 You're a sick, sick person! 1265 01:00:41,098 --> 01:00:42,517 Just, leave me alone. 1266 01:00:43,559 --> 01:00:44,644 Jess, come back! 1267 01:01:28,688 --> 01:01:29,689 The thing is, 1268 01:01:29,856 --> 01:01:32,316 ever since the show I haven't been able to control my emotions. 1269 01:01:32,775 --> 01:01:35,194 Like, someone cuts me off, I bawl my eyes out. 1270 01:01:36,404 --> 01:01:39,031 Ketchup spills on my shirt, I bawl my eyes out. 1271 01:01:39,824 --> 01:01:40,867 That's messed up. 1272 01:01:41,659 --> 01:01:45,079 I'd rather be a little bit emotional than a cold, heartless bastard like you. 1273 01:01:46,539 --> 01:01:47,540 Ouch. 1274 01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:49,041 Oh shit. 1275 01:01:49,292 --> 01:01:50,293 I'm sorry. 1276 01:01:50,710 --> 01:01:51,794 That's all right. 1277 01:01:52,336 --> 01:01:53,588 I was born out of wedlock. 1278 01:01:54,422 --> 01:01:56,716 I mean, I know I've been hurting over Jess, but this... 1279 01:01:57,341 --> 01:01:58,759 this feels like more than that. 1280 01:01:59,260 --> 01:02:00,928 Hey, maybe it's your female hormones. 1281 01:02:02,346 --> 01:02:03,347 Yeah, maybe. 1282 01:02:03,806 --> 01:02:05,075 Well, hey, look. It's still early. 1283 01:02:05,099 --> 01:02:07,099 What do you say we go out, hit a club or something? 1284 01:02:07,143 --> 01:02:08,853 While I'm an emotional wreck? 1285 01:02:09,353 --> 01:02:11,689 How self-centered can you be, Steve? 1286 01:02:12,523 --> 01:02:13,524 I mean... what? 1287 01:02:14,483 --> 01:02:15,484 What? 1288 01:02:16,152 --> 01:02:17,992 You'd think we're fucking already or something. 1289 01:02:31,709 --> 01:02:33,336 - Shit, I did it again. - Uhuh. 1290 01:02:34,462 --> 01:02:36,047 I really have a problem. 1291 01:02:36,506 --> 01:02:37,507 Yeah? 1292 01:02:37,590 --> 01:02:38,591 Well... 1293 01:02:38,633 --> 01:02:41,594 My best friend has turned into a really hot chick 1294 01:02:41,677 --> 01:02:44,013 and every night I've been having sex dreams about him. 1295 01:02:44,722 --> 01:02:45,973 Her. 1296 01:02:46,807 --> 01:02:48,893 See, you're not the only one with problems here, pal. 1297 01:02:49,810 --> 01:02:51,103 I'm sorry, I didn't know. 1298 01:02:51,729 --> 01:02:53,523 Yeah, well, I'm not too proud of that one. 1299 01:02:53,856 --> 01:02:54,857 Right. 1300 01:02:56,859 --> 01:02:58,861 Come on, Eddie, let's just change the subject. 1301 01:02:58,945 --> 01:02:59,946 Yeah. 1302 01:03:00,029 --> 01:03:02,909 Do me a favor, pass me the controls, maybe there's a game on or something. 1303 01:03:08,829 --> 01:03:10,331 - You know what? - What? 1304 01:03:11,249 --> 01:03:12,834 - Let's do it. - Do what? 1305 01:03:13,584 --> 01:03:15,169 Like, let's do it. 1306 01:03:18,381 --> 01:03:20,758 - Are you fucking serious? - Yes, I'm fucking serious. 1307 01:03:21,050 --> 01:03:24,512 I mean, I should really take my female equipment out on a test drive. 1308 01:03:25,012 --> 01:03:26,848 And who better to lose my virginity to 1309 01:03:27,014 --> 01:03:28,975 - than my best friend? - Because I can drive! 1310 01:03:30,059 --> 01:03:32,728 I can drive. And you are serious. You are serious, right? 1311 01:03:32,812 --> 01:03:35,273 I'm as serious as pink on a pregnancy test. 1312 01:03:35,356 --> 01:03:36,482 OK, that's great! 1313 01:03:36,858 --> 01:03:38,734 That is great. That is so sweet. 1314 01:03:39,193 --> 01:03:41,463 Don't be fucking with me, cause if you're fucking with me... 1315 01:03:41,487 --> 01:03:42,864 Mate, I'm being serious. 1316 01:03:43,239 --> 01:03:44,359 I'm gonna go and freshen up. 1317 01:03:44,657 --> 01:03:45,658 Afterward... 1318 01:03:45,992 --> 01:03:46,993 me and you... 1319 01:03:47,243 --> 01:03:48,244 are gonna do the nasty. 1320 01:03:48,744 --> 01:03:49,829 I love the nasty. 1321 01:03:51,330 --> 01:03:52,456 I love the nasty. 1322 01:03:53,332 --> 01:03:55,209 Wait a minute. You do have a vagina, right? 1323 01:03:55,751 --> 01:03:56,919 - Yes. - Good. 1324 01:03:57,086 --> 01:03:58,087 Important. 1325 01:03:58,504 --> 01:04:00,548 For the old in and outie. 1326 01:04:13,686 --> 01:04:14,687 OK, umm... 1327 01:04:15,146 --> 01:04:16,939 You, like, make yourself comfortable. 1328 01:04:18,441 --> 01:04:19,442 I'll be right back. 1329 01:04:42,256 --> 01:04:43,257 Ugh. 1330 01:04:51,891 --> 01:04:52,892 What's wrong? 1331 01:04:56,312 --> 01:04:57,313 You OK? 1332 01:05:00,942 --> 01:05:03,194 Oh! What the fuck? What... 1333 01:05:03,402 --> 01:05:05,071 what, what, what did you do? 1334 01:05:05,279 --> 01:05:06,489 I think I'm dying! 1335 01:05:06,531 --> 01:05:08,032 There's so much blood, Eddie! 1336 01:05:08,282 --> 01:05:09,742 Call 911! 1337 01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:15,164 Hey. Hey, excuse me. 1338 01:05:15,748 --> 01:05:16,749 Thanks for the tampon. 1339 01:05:27,176 --> 01:05:29,262 - Well, that was embarrassing. - Yes. 1340 01:05:30,221 --> 01:05:31,222 Yes, it was. 1341 01:05:31,514 --> 01:05:34,225 - Umm... thanks for the... - No problem. 1342 01:05:34,767 --> 01:05:35,767 No problem. 1343 01:05:36,811 --> 01:05:37,812 OK. 1344 01:05:38,521 --> 01:05:39,522 OK. 1345 01:05:41,274 --> 01:05:42,960 So you know that thing that we were gonna do... 1346 01:05:42,984 --> 01:05:44,819 Don't worry about that. Do not... 1347 01:05:45,236 --> 01:05:46,445 worry about that. I am... 1348 01:05:46,529 --> 01:05:49,198 I, I, I will not be having any more of those kind of dreams. 1349 01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:50,241 Right. 1350 01:05:50,324 --> 01:05:52,034 Yeah. I'm, uhh... 1351 01:05:53,578 --> 01:05:54,787 I'm totally cured. 1352 01:05:55,371 --> 01:05:56,372 I get it. 1353 01:05:57,373 --> 01:05:59,417 Yeah, I'll tell you what, I should get going. 1354 01:05:59,625 --> 01:06:01,385 Got to get back to the office. I've got to... 1355 01:06:01,627 --> 01:06:02,628 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1356 01:06:04,005 --> 01:06:05,298 I'll, uhh... I'll uhh... 1357 01:06:05,506 --> 01:06:07,466 I'll, I'll talk to you later. 1358 01:06:08,551 --> 01:06:10,761 - See you later, Steve. - I'm good. I'll see you. 1359 01:06:15,975 --> 01:06:17,685 Oh, wait. Do I have something on my face? 1360 01:06:17,935 --> 01:06:18,936 I'll see you. 1361 01:06:25,109 --> 01:06:28,446 Look, how many times do I have to tell you? I don't do full-frontal. 1362 01:06:29,405 --> 01:06:30,948 What? How much does it pay? 1363 01:06:31,699 --> 01:06:32,742 Oh yeah. I'm in. 1364 01:06:33,284 --> 01:06:34,285 Call me back. 1365 01:06:34,577 --> 01:06:35,578 Can I help you? 1366 01:06:35,620 --> 01:06:37,955 Yeah, I'll have a small latte, and uhh... 1367 01:06:38,164 --> 01:06:39,933 let me get whatever the young lady here would like. 1368 01:06:39,957 --> 01:06:40,958 No thanks. 1369 01:06:41,042 --> 01:06:43,878 I insist. I'm trying to live my life by paying it forward. 1370 01:06:44,212 --> 01:06:46,812 OK, that's great and all, but I'd rather just pay for my own drink. 1371 01:06:47,465 --> 01:06:48,466 Come on, babe. 1372 01:06:48,633 --> 01:06:49,800 It would really make my day. 1373 01:06:50,218 --> 01:06:51,844 OK, look, I know what you're doing. 1374 01:06:52,386 --> 01:06:53,804 I used to be just like you. 1375 01:06:54,222 --> 01:06:55,932 So trust me when I say, scamming women 1376 01:06:55,973 --> 01:06:58,935 to get them into bed is a shallow, meaningless way to live. 1377 01:06:59,227 --> 01:07:00,269 At the end of the day 1378 01:07:00,478 --> 01:07:01,938 it's love that really matters. 1379 01:07:02,188 --> 01:07:03,189 Uhuh. 1380 01:07:03,523 --> 01:07:04,524 You go, girl. 1381 01:07:04,982 --> 01:07:06,859 I'll be damned... 1382 01:07:08,319 --> 01:07:09,320 Dude... 1383 01:07:09,779 --> 01:07:10,780 you just dodged a bullet. 1384 01:07:11,489 --> 01:07:12,615 Chick is hiding a banana. 1385 01:07:14,033 --> 01:07:15,826 She's got, balls. 1386 01:07:42,562 --> 01:07:44,272 - Wow. - I know, right? 1387 01:07:44,981 --> 01:07:46,834 It's a little different to your first two books. 1388 01:07:46,858 --> 01:07:48,568 Well, I mean, I'm a little different. 1389 01:07:48,609 --> 01:07:49,610 True. 1390 01:07:50,736 --> 01:07:52,822 - True. - So, what do you think? 1391 01:07:53,197 --> 01:07:55,283 I don't know, Eddie. I don't know, I mean... 1392 01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:57,660 all this stuff about intimacy 1393 01:07:57,743 --> 01:07:59,245 respect, romance... 1394 01:07:59,453 --> 01:08:02,693 I mean, come on. You really think sex is better between two people who are in love? 1395 01:08:03,291 --> 01:08:04,542 Yeah. I do. 1396 01:08:06,252 --> 01:08:07,253 Hm. 1397 01:08:08,296 --> 01:08:09,547 Love is the answer, pal. 1398 01:08:13,134 --> 01:08:14,594 Your ass is the answer, Eddie. 1399 01:08:15,178 --> 01:08:16,846 Edna. God, I gotta stop. 1400 01:08:32,195 --> 01:08:33,196 Hey! 1401 01:08:34,322 --> 01:08:36,699 You don't respect elders, do you? 1402 01:08:38,159 --> 01:08:39,160 Fuck off. 1403 01:08:39,243 --> 01:08:40,369 You... 1404 01:09:01,557 --> 01:09:03,226 Yeah. 1405 01:09:05,811 --> 01:09:08,731 Oh! Shit! Shit! Shit! 1406 01:09:09,273 --> 01:09:10,775 Shit! 1407 01:09:11,192 --> 01:09:14,570 Shit! Shit! 1408 01:09:14,904 --> 01:09:17,156 Yeah! 1409 01:09:17,281 --> 01:09:19,116 Fuck, yes! 1410 01:09:19,450 --> 01:09:20,743 Yes! Phone! 1411 01:09:21,035 --> 01:09:22,036 Phone. 1412 01:09:22,662 --> 01:09:23,955 Phone. Come on. 1413 01:09:24,497 --> 01:09:25,790 OK, OK. 1414 01:09:28,417 --> 01:09:29,585 Steve! It's Eddie. 1415 01:09:29,877 --> 01:09:30,920 Listen to me, it's Eddie. 1416 01:09:30,962 --> 01:09:32,547 I'm back, man. I'm back! 1417 01:09:32,964 --> 01:09:34,173 Fuck yes! 1418 01:09:55,862 --> 01:09:58,322 I think Chapter Seven, you'll really like it. 1419 01:09:58,573 --> 01:09:59,574 Next. 1420 01:09:59,615 --> 01:10:00,616 All right. Bye. 1421 01:10:02,326 --> 01:10:03,703 - Hello. - Hi. 1422 01:10:05,246 --> 01:10:07,957 Can I just say, you are the perfect man. 1423 01:10:08,374 --> 01:10:10,668 Well, that's very kind of you, but I am... 1424 01:10:10,877 --> 01:10:12,086 far from perfect. 1425 01:10:12,378 --> 01:10:15,089 I don't know. You understand and respect women. 1426 01:10:15,756 --> 01:10:17,341 Plus, you're so damn handsome. 1427 01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:20,511 That's very kind of you. Thank you very much. 1428 01:10:21,179 --> 01:10:22,597 I appreciate that. I do. 1429 01:10:23,139 --> 01:10:24,140 Thank you. 1430 01:10:24,599 --> 01:10:25,600 Thank you. 1431 01:10:25,975 --> 01:10:27,810 Thank you. Steve Burns, I'm his agent. 1432 01:10:28,978 --> 01:10:30,897 - I always introduce myself. - Next. 1433 01:10:32,398 --> 01:10:33,399 - Hi. - Hi. 1434 01:10:34,650 --> 01:10:35,651 Right here. 1435 01:10:36,444 --> 01:10:38,529 You really liked it? That was good. 1436 01:10:39,280 --> 01:10:40,448 Here he is. Hey, pal. 1437 01:10:40,573 --> 01:10:41,574 Hey, buddy. 1438 01:10:41,657 --> 01:10:43,657 Hey, listen. We've got to get going. We've got a... 1439 01:10:43,951 --> 01:10:47,121 dinner reservation tonight to celebrate our six-month anniversary, actually. 1440 01:10:47,205 --> 01:10:48,873 - Six months already? - Yeah. 1441 01:10:49,165 --> 01:10:51,042 - Wow, congrats. - Thank you. 1442 01:10:51,501 --> 01:10:53,604 Are you sure you won't let me set you up with my roommate? 1443 01:10:53,628 --> 01:10:55,796 Yeah... no, no... 1444 01:10:56,589 --> 01:10:57,965 I really think you'd hit it off. 1445 01:10:59,842 --> 01:11:01,802 I appreciate the offer, but no, thank you. 1446 01:11:02,512 --> 01:11:04,198 All right, if you change your mind, let us know? 1447 01:11:04,222 --> 01:11:05,389 - Will do. - OK? 1448 01:11:05,473 --> 01:11:06,833 - Go on. - If you change your mind. 1449 01:11:06,891 --> 01:11:08,744 - If I change my mind. Have fun. - See you, pal. 1450 01:11:08,768 --> 01:11:09,769 See ya. 1451 01:11:17,568 --> 01:11:18,568 Eddie. 1452 01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:20,821 Jess. 1453 01:11:22,031 --> 01:11:23,699 - Hi. - Hi. 1454 01:11:24,951 --> 01:11:26,494 Wow, you look amazing. 1455 01:11:26,786 --> 01:11:28,412 Oh. Thanks. 1456 01:11:30,581 --> 01:11:31,707 So, umm... 1457 01:11:32,583 --> 01:11:33,960 Uhh... 1458 01:11:34,418 --> 01:11:36,087 - Read your book. - You did? 1459 01:11:36,462 --> 01:11:37,463 Uhuh. 1460 01:11:37,880 --> 01:11:39,882 - I really liked it. - I'm glad. 1461 01:11:41,926 --> 01:11:43,135 You dedicated it to me. 1462 01:11:43,553 --> 01:11:44,554 Yeah. 1463 01:11:44,887 --> 01:11:47,348 Well, you know, you played a big role in helping me change. 1464 01:11:49,016 --> 01:11:50,476 Yeah. About that. 1465 01:11:51,602 --> 01:11:52,603 So... 1466 01:11:52,812 --> 01:11:54,814 you and Edna... 1467 01:11:54,856 --> 01:11:55,940 One and the same. 1468 01:11:56,983 --> 01:11:57,984 Oh. 1469 01:11:58,234 --> 01:11:59,694 - Wow. - Crazy, huh? 1470 01:12:00,570 --> 01:12:01,571 Yes... 1471 01:12:02,864 --> 01:12:03,865 and no. 1472 01:12:05,408 --> 01:12:06,534 You know, I've got an idea. 1473 01:12:07,785 --> 01:12:10,079 Why don't we start this thing all over? 1474 01:12:12,623 --> 01:12:13,624 Hello. 1475 01:12:13,708 --> 01:12:14,709 I'm Eddie Greenleaf. 1476 01:12:15,042 --> 01:12:16,544 - Jess White. - Jess White? 1477 01:12:16,752 --> 01:12:17,753 - Uhuh. - Wow. 1478 01:12:18,504 --> 01:12:19,547 So are you seeing anyone? 1479 01:12:20,339 --> 01:12:21,340 Uh, no. 1480 01:12:21,757 --> 01:12:24,260 Not since I discovered the last guy I was dating was married. 1481 01:12:24,510 --> 01:12:25,970 - I'm sorry to hear that. - Yeah. 1482 01:12:26,554 --> 01:12:28,556 A friend tried to warn me, but I wouldn't listen. 1483 01:12:29,098 --> 01:12:30,766 In fact, I was really mean to her. 1484 01:12:31,767 --> 01:12:33,127 You know, I think she forgives you. 1485 01:12:36,397 --> 01:12:38,608 So, how about you? Are you... 1486 01:12:39,817 --> 01:12:40,818 seeing anyone? 1487 01:12:40,985 --> 01:12:41,986 Actually... 1488 01:12:42,570 --> 01:12:45,656 I kind of fell in love for the first time in my life last year. 1489 01:12:47,533 --> 01:12:48,534 You did? 1490 01:12:48,784 --> 01:12:49,785 Yeah. 1491 01:12:49,952 --> 01:12:52,288 The timing, though, it wasn't right, unfortunately. 1492 01:12:53,998 --> 01:12:54,999 Well... 1493 01:12:55,249 --> 01:12:56,876 maybe you should give it another shot. 1494 01:12:58,002 --> 01:13:00,046 I was just thinking exactly the same thing. 1495 01:13:02,006 --> 01:13:03,090 So, can I buy you a latte? 1496 01:13:03,674 --> 01:13:04,926 - I'd really like that. - Yeah? 1497 01:13:05,009 --> 01:13:06,886 - Yeah. - Let's get out of here then. 1498 01:13:33,287 --> 01:13:34,288 Mark. 1499 01:13:35,581 --> 01:13:36,892 - You had the book signing. - Uhuh. 1500 01:13:36,916 --> 01:13:37,917 The release party. 1501 01:13:38,125 --> 01:13:40,925 Sex with a homeless model... Oh fuck, a homeless model. 1502 01:13:47,969 --> 01:13:49,512 I love the homeless kind of look. 1503 01:13:49,595 --> 01:13:50,596 It's just, you know... 1504 01:13:50,638 --> 01:13:51,722 The book signing. 1505 01:13:51,973 --> 01:13:53,933 Sex with a homeless- Oh for fuck's sake! 1506 01:13:54,016 --> 01:13:55,351 That homeless woman's in my head. 1507 01:13:55,643 --> 01:13:56,936 Buddy, let me tell you something. 1508 01:13:56,978 --> 01:13:58,437 I'm, I'm starving, ok. 1509 01:13:58,813 --> 01:14:00,133 This may be harder than I thought. 1510 01:14:01,858 --> 01:14:03,985 OK, we might have to go back to 1511 01:14:06,279 --> 01:14:07,280 Knock, knock! 1512 01:14:16,038 --> 01:14:18,118 This is where you find your beaver buzzers 1513 01:14:18,165 --> 01:14:21,669 magic wands, pussy punchers, hamburger helpers and wacky wobblers. 1514 01:14:22,128 --> 01:14:24,255 Personally, I like the butterfly. 1515 01:14:25,548 --> 01:14:26,549 Fuck. 1516 01:14:48,821 --> 01:14:49,947 - Well? - This stuff is good. 1517 01:14:50,031 --> 01:14:51,383 - Not bad, right? - Yeah, what is it? 1518 01:14:51,407 --> 01:14:52,909 - Bocelios. - Hmm. 1519 01:14:53,326 --> 01:14:54,344 Dos celios. 1520 01:14:54,368 --> 01:14:55,661 This stuff's good. What is it? 1521 01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:57,163 Dos selios. 1522 01:14:58,664 --> 01:14:59,957 This stuff is good. 1523 01:15:00,082 --> 01:15:01,083 What is it? 1524 01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:12,011 The thing is... 1525 01:15:13,304 --> 01:15:14,639 Oh. For fuck's sake. 1526 01:15:14,931 --> 01:15:16,474 Yes, I'm fucking serious. 1527 01:15:16,682 --> 01:15:19,352 I mean, I really should take my female equipment out with... 1528 01:15:19,936 --> 01:15:21,270 What am I doing? 1529 01:15:23,105 --> 01:15:24,315 Hey, hey. Hey, excuse me. 1530 01:15:24,774 --> 01:15:27,151 Thanks for the cond... Not the condom, fuck. 1531 01:15:37,203 --> 01:15:38,204 Come on. 1532 01:15:40,164 --> 01:15:41,165 OK. 1533 01:15:42,375 --> 01:15:43,376 Eddie! 1534 01:15:43,751 --> 01:15:45,336 No, I'm fucking Eddie. Fuck! 1535 01:15:45,378 --> 01:15:46,379 Back. 1536 01:15:47,964 --> 01:15:49,674 Make yourself comfortable and I'll... 1537 01:15:51,342 --> 01:15:52,343 be right back. 1538 01:15:56,180 --> 01:15:57,640 Yes! 1539 01:16:04,397 --> 01:16:06,065 She must have put a spell on me. 1540 01:16:06,274 --> 01:16:07,942 That's the only thing that makes sense. 1541 01:16:08,568 --> 01:16:09,986 OK. So... 1542 01:16:10,528 --> 01:16:11,988 we're looking for this magical 1543 01:16:12,780 --> 01:16:14,574 mystery kind of homeless woman, right? 1544 01:16:14,866 --> 01:16:16,367 I mean, I don't know. I guess so. 1545 01:16:17,702 --> 01:16:18,703 OK. 1546 01:16:19,579 --> 01:16:20,621 Maybe she was a witch. 1547 01:16:20,872 --> 01:16:22,516 - A witch. - All right, did you see it yet? 1548 01:16:22,540 --> 01:16:23,541 Because the gig's up. 1549 01:16:25,126 --> 01:16:26,544 Can I ask you a question? 1550 01:16:37,638 --> 01:16:38,639 I'm so sorry. 1551 01:16:41,851 --> 01:16:42,852 Not in. 1552 01:16:45,813 --> 01:16:46,814 Uhuh. 106249