All language subtitles for Viva.2007.DVDrip.BaggerInc

This is a story about a housewife
during the sexual revolution.

The time is 1972,
the place Los Angeles,

and the people...ordinary.

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Good morning, lover.

You call this morning?

How about some breakfast?

Now I'm all set.
Coffee and the morning paper!

What do you want to do today, Mark?

I want to take some photos.
What do you want to do today, Mark?

I want to take some photos.

I've had this darn thing for a month,
and I haven't had time to use it yet.

It's supposed to take great pictures.

Do you know it comes
with a set of ND filters?

Now, that's a professional camera.

These girls in Playboy are pretty.

But none of them has a bust like mine.

What?

I have a better bust
than any of these girls.

I should be in Playboy magazine.

That's right, honey.

If I could say one thing about you,

you've got great tits!

You're pretty ample yourself…
where it counts!

It's such a beautiful day.

Maybe we could just
lie by the pool all day.

I love lying by the pool.

And you could take pictures of me.

That's not a bad idea, honey.

My new camera will
put you in the right light.

But if you take your clothes off,
the neighbors will see.

They've seen tits before.

I mean, they've either got them
or they're married to them.

What's the big deal?

But people are so uptight around here.

They go nuts when they see a little sex.

I know, honey.

There's just not enough love in this world,
that's the problem.

Hey, I know what's wrong
with this thing.

The camera needs a mount
before you can put the filter on.

A mount?

Sounds interesting!

Hi, Barbi.

Hi, Sheila. Hi, Mark.

Hi, Barbi.

It's great to see you, Barbi.

To what do we owe this...pleasure?

To sheer boredom.

Rick and I were going to
spend the day together,

but at the last minute, he had to work.

On Sunday?

Yes, I know. Isn't it terrible?

But it's really not so bad.

At least it leaves me time
for...other diversions.

What are you guys up to?

Oh, we're just relaxing.

Would you like a drink?

Isn't it a little early?

It's never too early, is it, honey?

There are more than a thousand ways
to blend whiskey in Scotland,

but Dewar's never varies...

so why should we?

Sheila, what are you reading?
Playboy magazine?

I can't believe it.

Oh, Barbi, don't be such a square.

I only look at it for the articles.

And you'd be surprised.
There's some very artistic photography.

I can look as good as these girls.

They're pretty, but they're too thin.

That's what I said, isn't it, honey?

Let's compare ourselves to them.

I've gotta get this!

Come and get it, boys.
This all-American dish is just for you!

Viva Italia!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

You girls are fantastic.

You girls are really great!

I'm going to get you a drink.

Thanks.

Yeah, you girls are really great!

Thank you, Mark. You're sweet.

So how's it going, Barbi?

How's what going?

Life, love, business.

Life and love are fine.

As for business, you should ask Rick.

Rick works so much,
I hardly ever see him.

As for me, my job is always the same.

A little dictation,
a little pinch on the behind.

You know, the life of a secretary.

Sounds fascinating.

You think so?
You should try it sometime.

You're a beautiful woman, Barbi.

Men can't help it
if they respond to that.

You know, when I was a younger man,
I only went for blondes.

Now I prefer brunettes.

They're more intense,
more deeply sensual.

You'd better not let Sheila
hear you say that.

What?

Nothing, Sheila.

I'm hot. I'm going to go for a swim.

Would anyone like to join me?

I will.

There's nothing I like more
than being wet.

Be careful, honey.
You're gonna say things you don't mean.

- What? What did I say?
- Never mind.

Remember last night, honey?
Remember what we did?

You little hussy.
That's what I like about you.

We have a great sex life,
don't we, honey?

Look, Barbi's pouting.

What a baby.

Babies can't have
cigarettes and alcohol.

Babies can only have milk.

Can I have a drink, too?

Sure.

Thanks.

On a single pipe full
of Bond Street tobacco,

you can travel a couple
of relaxing miles in a canoe...

without even lifting a paddle.

Poor Barbi. All undressed,

and no place to go.

I'll get you a dress.

Now, how about that movie?

- Good morning, Miss Smith.
- Good morning, Mr. Humphrey.

Now, take a letter, Miss Smith.

Dear Sirs.

We at Mutual Insurance

have been doing business
with Johnson & Jones

for over fifteen years.

Hey, man.
Is this the welfare office?

Room 222. Down the hall.

Oh, thanks, man.

Goddamn freeloading hippie!

Now, where were we?

"We at Mutual Insurance..."

Yes.

Now this merger...

This merger...

Oh, blast it, Miss Smith!

It isn't the merger I want! It's you!

I'm glad to see that you're
always on top of things, Miss Smith.

Mine! All mine!

I'm not taking any calls.

Wait! I'm not through
promoting you yet!

I'm ready for you, lover.

Rick!

Well, hello.

Hi, stranger.

How was your day, honey?

Long. I could use that martini.

Sure thing, Rick.

Anyone ever tell you
you're the perfect little woman?

I sure try, Rick.

How was your day at the office, Rick?

Great. Sales have gone up 15%
since I started working overtime.

If I keep it up,

we'll be able to buy that cabin
and the fishing boat by the end of the year.

I sure am looking forward
to doing some fishing.

I could use a break.

Rick, I lost my job today.

What happened?

Mr. Humphrey found out I was married.

It doesn't matter, honey.

I make enough money
for the both of us.

You just work on being lovely,
and on being my girl.

But I like to work.

Also, if I work, you won't have to go
on so many business trips

and work so much overtime.

But I need the business trips.

It's the only chance I get to unwind.

In Indianapolis, I go drag racing.

In Monterey, I play golf.

In Aspen, I ski.

What could be better?

I understand, Rick.

It's just I wish we could spend
more time together.

If you spent more time with me,
you'd get sick of me.

Rick, do you think I would
make a good model?

Sure, honey.

You could do just about anything
you put your mind to.

Now how about you putting your mind
on giving me a little lovin.'

Happy birthday, Mark.
I brought you a present.

Oh, Sheila!
Crown Royal! My favorite!

Not the whiskey, silly. Here. Open it.

Sheila! Cologne! Thanks!

Now, how about a toast
to the birthday boy?

Mark,

Barbi and Rick have invited us
to a barbeque on Sunday.

Don't you think I should
have a new dress?

A new dress for a barbeque?
That's ridiculous.

It's lucky I'm responsible with our money,
or you'd have us in the poorhouse.

Here they are.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you doing, old boy?

I can't complain. And yourself?

Not bad. Not bad.

I just love what you've done with your yard.

It's the manicured look. Very "in" this year.

What would you two like to drink?

I'll have a Pussycat.

Make it a gin and tonic.

One pussycat and one gin and tonic
coming up.

Take it easy, old boy.

I have an audition tomorrow,
and I want to be fresh.

There you are.

That's perfect.

You're looking good, Rick.

What do you do to stay so strong?

Oh you know, tennis, golf,
push-ups, jumping jacks.

What a man.

I wish Mark would take some exercise.

He's developing a beer belly.

Really? I don't think so.

Mark looks pretty good to me.

Thanks, Barbi. I return the compliment.

One more, bartender.

And put a lot of vodka in it, Rick.

I want to get really smashed today.

- How's that?
- No. More.

More.

That's quite an outfit, Barbi.

Oh, this old thing?
I only wear it around the house.

I'll bet.

Why doesn't everybody eat something?
There's plenty of food.

-Come on.
-All right.

Here, everybody. Take a plate.

Wow, Barbi.
Everything looks great.

Thank you.

You've really outdone yourself
this time, Barbi.

It was nothing.

Mmm, Swedish meatballs.
I haven't had these in years!

I get them all the time now.

So, how is everything, Barbi?

Fine. I've got so much time on my hands,
I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm learning to cook, at least,
and we let the housekeeper go.

But I get so bored sometimes.

Rick works so much,
I hardly ever see him.

I know what you mean.

Only my problem's the opposite.

Mark is home all the time, now that
he got laid off from that TV series.

I think the best thing for the both of us
would be to get out of the house more.

I completely agree.

That's why I want to get another job,
something meaningful.

I've even considered becoming a model.

Why don't you, Barbi?
You'd make a great model.

I'll think about it.

I noticed you got a new stereo system.

Pretty spiffy.

Yeah, It's a TEAC.

The receiver has glass tubes,
and it works with a remote.

We have a Panasonic.

It's not as expensive as your system,

but not everything that makes nice sounds

has to be expensive.

But we need a new TV.

We're thinking about getting
a color TV.

We need a new TV, too.

As soon as I trade in the car.

I've been wanting a Camaro.

And right now, business is great,
so I think I'll go for it.

Why worry about money anyway?

I say live and love today,
and pay tomorrow.

That's the American way.

You can take that
”live and love" stuff too far.

For one thing, your cologne
is way too strong, man.

It's knocking me out!

This cologne?

It was a birthday present from Sheila.

You may laugh, but let me tell you:

the ladies go for it.

You might think about buying some
to please your own lady.

No, thanks.

My lady likes me just the way I am.

Rick!

I need another Pussycat.

Sure thing, Mrs. Campbell.

Rick says my cologne's too strong.

What do you think, girls?

Do you like the way I smell?

Hey! Lay off! That's my woman.

Lighten up, Rick. It was just a joke.

Here you go, girls.

Mark! I thought I told you to lay off!

Don't worry about them!

Bye, honey.

Have a great day.

Listen, Barbi,
don't make dinner tonight.

I'll be working late at the office.

Rick, not again.

I'm sorry, baby, but it can't be helped.

You be a good girl 'til I come home.
and I’ll see you around ten.

Try to entertain yourself until then.

All right, Rick. I'll try.

Hey, look at that.

Yeah.

She's got class.

May I help you?

Is Mr. Gladstone in?

Mr. Gladstone's out of the office today.

I'm Miss Marker,
Mr. Gladstone's assistant.

What can I do for you?

My name is Barbi Smith,
and I want to be a model.

Have a seat, Barbi.

Do you have any experience?

No, I'm afraid not.

Well, you're hardly a little girl.

Don't you think it's a little late for you
to start a modeling career?

Excuse me a moment.

Girls!

Stop horsing around
and get ready.

The photographer will be here
in ten minutes.

Come in the light, dear.
I want to look at you.

You've got good bones…
and your figure's okay.

But your hair, it just hangs down.

And your make-up's all wrong.

But that shouldn't matter in the end,
not for the kind of work you could get.

What do you mean?

Oh, you know, catalog work, and...

art movies.

I'll tell you what, dear.

Go get your hair and make-up
done by a professional,

and get some good photographs taken,
and come back.

If the pictures are any good,
I’ll run them by Mr. Gladstone.

Thank you, Miss Marker.
Thank you for your help.

Barbi,

Maybe we could set up
our own photo session.

I'm a very good photographer.

I live far away,
and it could go late, but...

you could spend the night at my house.

Do you want to have beautiful hair?
Do you want to look like a model or a superstar?

Call Sherman of Hollywood!

Why, hello! You must be Barbi.

Come on in.

You have a great place here.

Don't say that! It's not done!

Come on into the salon, and we'll start.

Have a seat.

Now, what can I do for you today?

I want to look beautiful, like a model.

You're already beautiful, Barbi.

But you know what your problem is?

You need to refine your look.

I'd like to see a couple of inches
off the bottom of your hair,

a lot more height and body
at the crown,

and some soft curls
around your face.

Now, how does that sound?

It sounds wonderful.

All right. Then let's begin.

I love cutting hair.
I could do it all day long!

Now who could that be?

Excuse me a moment.

Oh, hi, Reeves!
I’m in the middle of a hair session.

I just came to borrow a cup of sugar.

Okay! Come on into the kitchen.

Is that all, just sugar?

Of course. What else would it be?

Actually, do you mind
if I watch you work?

Not at all. Come on in.

Hey! What do you think you're doing?

Sorry!

Reeves, this is Barbi.

Barbi, this is my neighbor Reeves.

Glad to meet you.

Barbi wants to look like a model,
and I'm going to help her all I can.

She doesn't need any help
as far as I'm concerned.

Go sit down. I'm going to start.

Now for some hairspray.

Actually, I think I need to be going.

You don't have to go.

I have all day!

It's so hot in here.

Why don't you two go sit on the couch,
and I'll make some refreshing shakes.

- Okay.
- Okay.

MAGIC DUST

Here you are.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

Bottoms up.

Mmm. What's in this?

It's got milk and vanilla
and sugar and ice

and a special ingredient.

Whatever it is, it's delicious.

It's not the only thing around here
that's delicious.

Please, Reeves. I'm taken.

I'm not talking about you.

What a pity.
And after all my hospitality.

This is so refreshing.

You have to give me the recipe
so I can make it for Rick.

- Who's Rick?
- My husband.

You have a husband?

Don't look so shocked, pretty boy.

They're all like that.

They'll do anything for a ring.

But that doesn't stop them
from having a little fun on the side,

any more that it stops me or you.

Don't say "me" and "you”
in the same sentence like that.

We're not the same.
Do you understand?

You two are so funny.

Why?

I don't know. Everything seems
really funny right now.

Well...I guess you're right.

I mean, here we all are!

I feel so...strange.

Reeves...help me.

What's so funny?

Too bad she passed out on you.

If you ask me, it's not much fun
with a sleeping beauty.

It's much more fun with a fully-awake girl...

or boy.

Rick?

Rick?

“Barbi, I am very sick. I have
Gone to the hospital. --Rick.”

Oh, Rick! Rick! What's happened?

You must be the new nurse.

No, I'm his wife, Mrs. Smith.

How is he, Doctor?

Mrs. Smith, it seems that he worked
himself into a state of hysteria

when you didn't come home last night.

He had a seizure which led to a high fever,

followed by pneumonia.

He's going to have to stay in bed
for at least two weeks.

Now, I know this is not my business,

-but if I were you--
-I understand, doctor.

I won't let it happen again.

Oh, Rick. Rick. Please forgive me.

It's all my fault.

Barbi. Where were you?

It doesn't matter now.

I did a bad thing, Rick,but I won't
be bad anymore, I promise.

Barbi, what are you wearing?

Oh, darling, I love you,

and I want to prove it to you.

That's why I'm dressed like a nurse.

I want to nurse you back to health.

I'll stay with you night and day
until you're better.

And then we'll do everything
you want to do.

You mean that, honey?

Of course I do.

Thank you, Barbi.

You're so good to me.

Now rest, darling.

Just rest.

I just love watching the guys
play tennis. Don't you?

Yes. Rick loves to play tennis.

From now on, everything is for Rick.

What sort of man reads Playboy?

A personable guy whose personal
appearance is his calling card.

He knows that a big part of being
welcome is being well-groomed.

Here are your eggs, honey.

Thanks.

Your bags are all packed.

Did you pack my skis?

Yes, they're in the ski bag.

But when are you going to have time to ski
with all those business meetings?

That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

I'm gonna extend my trip to a month.

Then I'll have time for
business and leisure.

A month?

Darling, you can't mean that.

We were planning a trip in two weeks.

I know. But this is more important.

If I don't ski now,
I won't ski 'til next year.

Is there more coffee?

Of course.

Why don't you bring me along?
I could learn to ski, too.

Oh, no. It's not for you.

You'd get bored.

Are there going to be girls up there?

Girls?

There are girls everywhere.

Of course there will be girls.

Is that why you don't want me to come?

Barbi, what has gotten into you?

It's just a business trip.

I'll be home before you know it.

I know. It's just...

I'm so disappointed.

You're always working.

And I was looking forward to this vacation
so we could spend some time together.

Why are you always on my back?

Can't a guy just have
some fun every once in a while?

Look, Barbi, you're
being a ball and chain.

I need to go in the outdoors
and express myself.

It's who I am!

All right. Express yourself, then!

I don't care what you do.

Stay away as long as you like.

Stay away forever!

Maybe I will!

Now you've really blown it, Barbi.

Before, I wanted to come back.

Now I'm not sure.

I need my space, and I need to think.

I'll call you when I'm good and ready.

You may be waiting a long time!
I'll call you when I'm good and ready.

You may be waiting a long time!

Oh, Sheila. It's so horrible.

Rick and I got in a fight,
and I yelled at him,

and now he may never come back.

That's terrible.

But can you believe it?
Mark and I split up, too.

He's gone to live with his brother.

Listen, Barbi,

maybe we can benefit
from our newfound freedom.

How do you mean?

Put on something sexy,
and I'll be right over.

There. That's better.

That'll knock their eyes out.

Now, Barbi, you look stuffy
compared to me.

I do?

Yes. Definitely stuffy.

Here. Come here.

Take off your vest and tie.

But my blouse is transparent,

and I'm not wearing a bra.

Well, that's the whole point.

Here, come on. Give them to me.

But, Sheila, we can't just go out
on the street looking like this.

Are you kidding?

This is the 1970s.

We're liberated women now.

We' re dressing for ourselves.

Barbi, isn't this exciting?

All alone in the city and no husbands.

But, Sheila, what are we going to do?

I don't know.

Let's stand over there and think.

Would you look at that, Harry?

I've got eyes in my head.

Hi, girls.

You look very sexy.
Very nice.

Who do you work for?

Well, I was just fired from my job,

and Sheila here has never worked.

So I guess you can say
we work as housewives.

Housewives? Dressed like that?

Yeah. You see, we want
to have adventures.

Oh, my.

Well, let me introduce myself.

I’m Mrs. James.

- I'm Barbi.
- And I'm Sheila.

Pleased to meet you.

Now, you girls say
you want some adventure?

Well, that's not so difficult
for girls that look like you.

Only...what kind of adventure?

I want to meet a rich man who will
buy me a fur coat and diamonds...

and who's not at all like
my cheapskate husband.

I want to meet someone
kind and sensitive and loving.

I can arrange all of that.

Why don't you come up to my parlor,
girls, and we'll discuss it?

I live just across the street.

So, the way I work is,

I try to set people up so they can meet casually.

Call it a single's agency.

In most cases, the man
pays me the commission fee,

so you don't have to worry
about any of that.

Is that all there is to it?

It all depends on if you girls
want to just meet people

or make a little money on the side.

- That sounds very provocative.
- Tell us more.

It's a call girl service.

You, of course, get to okay the customers
before agreeing to anything.

And you can make very good money.

Sheila...

she means we would be prostitutes.

I've always wanted to be a prostitute.

It sounds so romantic!

But isn't prostitution morally wrong?

No, Barbi.

Don't you see?

It's part of the sexual revolution.

It's taking advantage of your
newfound sexual freedom.

Everybody's doing it.

I guess I never thought of that before.

I mean, exploring my sexuality.

It does sound intriguing.

If you don't like it, you
don't have to continue.

I mean, this is what we
were looking for, isn't it?

Some real adventure?

Yes, I guess so.

We have nothing to lose.

Perfect.

I knew you girls would be good sports.

Now:

We have to come up
with some new names for you.

I've always wanted to be called Candy.

Can I be Candy?

Of course!

And you, Barbi?

I want to be called Viva,
which in Italy means "to live."

Because that's what I
want to do now: to live.

In fact, from now on, I’m
going to be a new woman.

I'll never be Barbi again.

Just a moment, girls.

Hello?

Hello, Doctor.

I’m so glad you called.

I'm Dr. Collins.

And you must be a couple of whores!

You two girls look sick!

Very sick.

I think I'm going to have to operate.

Remember all that
rubbish in high school

about the human body
being worth only 97 cents?

Hey, handsome. Buy us a drink?

Look at those muscles.

Come on. Leave me alone.

I'm not in the mood.

Didn't I see you on the slopes today?

What?

Oh. Yeah.

You go skiing often?

Excuse me.

I'll take a hundred dollars
for my commission.

Good.

Perfect.

Now...

I'll make some phone calls and try
to set you up with your dream-men.

A sensitive guy for Viva...

and a millionaire for Candy.

That coat does a lot for you, dear…

but I'm sure you've done a lot for it.

Right this way.

Your waiter will be right with you.

My dear,

you look like a sweet
little innocent girl.

How old are you, dear?

I'm 29, Mr. Carlisle.

I'm glad you're 29, dear!

I prefer older women.

Bring us some Chateauneuf du Pape,

1956,

and two Waldorf salads.

Yes, sir. Right away.

My dear,

We shall spend a splendid evening

with food and wine.

Yes.

Then we can go shopping for that little
itty-bitty present that you promised me.

You mean the diamond bracelet!

Yes, indeed!

And we'll pick one up at Cartier's!

Oh, my!

- To us!
- To us!

And to Cartier!

Mr. Carlisle, you've been
so generous to me.

But do you know what else
I would like, Mr. Carlisle?

A white horse.

It's been my fantasy all my life

just to ride and ride a white horse.

And you will, my dear, you will.

There's a lot of strength
in this old horse yet!

Whatever happens along the way

You know I'll always be true

As long as I have diamonds

Sheared mink coats

A white horse and you

You may not be so handsome,
young, or strong

But we can do each other right

'Cause you'll have me,
and I'll have Saks,

Bloomingdale's,

Cartier, and a fantasy horse so white.

And so I sink back in my reverie

And dream of things I can't resist

Like diamonds, Halston dresses

Imported Scotch

And a white horse in the mist

Hi.

Are you looking for someone?

I was wondering if I have the right address.
I’m here to meet Elmer.

Oh, Elmer's down there.

Thanks.

Hey.

You're gonna have to take
your clothes off.

But I'm just here to meet someone.

Oh, leave her alone.

You can go on down.

Thanks.

Marcuse's Foundation is Freud's principle

that our instincts are founded
in the pleasure principle of Eros,

or libidinal energy.

Too often we sublimate this
energy into a work impulse,

which is what makes civilization possible.

It's nice to see youngsters showing
an interest in nature.

Are you saying that we should
reject Freud's model

and just be ourselves in the moment?

That's precisely what I'm saying.

Excuse me. Is one of you Elmer?

Elmer? No, man.

Elmer's over there, man.

He's the one with the guitar.

- Oh, thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

Fare thee well, fare thee well.

- Hi. Elmer?
- Yeah. Viva?

Oh, hi, darlin’.
I’m so glad you came.

Hey, everyone. This is Viva.

Hi.

Uh, we have a rule out here.
No clothing in the garden.

Clothing is strictly forbidden.

I'll take my dress off in a minute.
I just have to get used to the idea.

Isn't it ironic that we need to get used
to existing in our most natural state?

Clothing only constricts us and
sets up arbitrary social codes.

You'll feel much better
if you shed all of that.

Oh, just ignore her. I mean,
how uptight can you get?

What a downer!

Live and let live, that's my motto.

Hey, everybody, I'm gonna sing a song.

It's about love.

Love, the power of love

The power of love is the
power to make me love you

Love, the power of love

The power of love makes me
want to get it on with you

Love, it's good for the birds,
it's good for the trees

It's good for you and me

Love, it's good for all humanity

Da, da da da da da
Da, da da da da da

Da, da da da da da
Da, da da da da da

Love, it's good for the birds,
it's good for the trees

It's good for you and me

Love, it's good for all humanity

Da, da da da da da
Da, da da da da da

Da, da da da da da
Da, da da da da da

Oh, Elmer, you're so sexy.

Yeah, Elmer. Come on.
Spread the loving around.

No, thanks. I got a date with Viva.

Let's split.

So, how'd you get hooked
up with the agency?

I'll be honest with you.
I got in a fight with my husband.

That's when I realized that life
could be so much more,

that I could be having adventures
instead of just staying home

and cooking all the time and
waiting for him to come home.

That's cool. That's very cool.

This whole husband and
wife thing’s a drag, isn't it?

It puts unnecessary
constraints on free love.

I'm so glad you told me how you feel.

I want to know all about you,

about your hopes, your fears,
what you love, what you hate.

I want to reach deep inside
and pull out the real Viva.

But why do you want to know about me?

'Cause I feel a strange attraction to you.

Could it be love? No. It couldn't be.

But yet it is love. Pure love energy.

The most beautiful thing in the world.

Do you feel it, too, Viva?

I don't know.
I’m not sure how I feel.

Oh, baby. I love you so much.

Elmer...

I like you, but you're going too fast.

I don't even know you.

What's the matter, baby? I mean,
you came here to get it on with me, right?

So why waste time?

Elmer! Stop it!

I'm sorry, baby.

We'll do whatever you want to do.

There's already enough
conflict in this world -

war and pollution,
hypocrisy and greed.

We have to do whatever we can to
spread love on this planet and not war.

What is it? A cigarette?

Man, baby, are you square.

It's marijuana. Have some.

It's good.

I love to see you smile, Viva.

Your smile is beautiful.
Everything about you is beautiful.

I want to see how beautiful you are.

Will you show me?
Come on. Show me your body.

Look. I'm showing you my body.

You have no reason to be ashamed.

I won't touch you, I promise.

Elmer, I can't just take off my clothes.

I’ve only just met you.

What's the big deal, for Christ's sakes?

I mean, they're only clothes!

Don't be such a ninny! I swear!

How's this, Elmer?

Hey, you know what, baby?
You look good in pink.

Relax, baby.
Relax and feel the lovin'.

I'm gonna make you feel real good.

I thought I was going to
hate myself this morning, but I don't.

I hate you!

So you see, Mrs. James, it wasn't
what I thought it would be,

so I had to leave.

I thought Elmer would be
the perfect choice.

He's such a sensitive, natural guy.

That's the problem. He's too natural.

Too focused on the physical.

You know, Viva,
I’ve got just the man for you.

His name is Clyde, and he's an artist.

Hi. You must be Viva.

Come on in.

Have a seat.

May I offer you a drink?

Yes, thank you.

I did those photos last week
for a magazine spread.

Do you like them?

Yes, they're beautiful.

Who is the model?

I don't remember her name.

A professional model.
They're all the same.

She's very pretty.

I would think you would remember her.

It's a job.

The models come and go.

This one's pretty, but she doesn’t
have much of a personality.

Does personality matter to you, then?

Oh, personality's everything.

I mean, what's the point of looking at
a bunch of pictures of vacuous girls?

When I photograph a girl for my artwork,

she's got to have...pizazz,

oomph, élan.

Did those girls have...élan?

You bet your tushy they did, honey.

I like a woman with a good backside.

You can see that.

But if a girl doesn't have personality,

I don't even give her ass
a second look.

You, for example.

You have that extra oomph.

You have star quality.

I saw that the first
moment you walked in.

- Really?
- Oh, yes.

It's written all over you.

I knew you were a model or an actress
the moment you walked in that door.

But I'm not a model or an actress.

In fact, I've never modeled before.

Well, that explains it!

That's why you're so natural -

so original.

You haven't learned to be all vampy and
cheap like most girls in pictures today.

You've got a natural innocence.

It's absolutely fabulous!

Do you like to look at yourself, Viva?

Of course.
What woman doesn't?

I would like to take some pictures of you.

Let's see, Viva...arch your back.

Hold it. Hold it.

Perfect.

There. Hold it.
Look at me. Look at me.

Tasty. Love it! Love it!

Yes! There! There! Sexy!

Fabulous, Viva! Fabulous! Hold it!

Love it! Love it! Love it! Woo!

I'll have these photos
developed in the morning.

You were a real knockout, Viva.

You think so?

Sure.

What's the matter?

Why are you all tense?

Relax.

Clyde - Clyde.

I really like you, but I
don't want to rush things.

I want to be sure, you know?

Look, honey, it's not such a big deal.

We like each other.
We turn each other on.

That's all that matters, right?

Clyde - Clyde -

Stop it!

I didn't leave my husband for this.

I'm a liberated woman now.

I don't want to be a man's plaything.

I'll let you know when
I want you to touch me.

Until then, we're just friends, okay?

Screwy women's lib!

All right. Have it your way.

But when you come to me begging for it,
don't expect me to be there.

Thank you, Clyde. You're sweet.

What do you think?

I need a closer look!

You naughty boy!

Was that my foot?

Anyone have a joint?

I've got one!

Oh, I left Viva alone.

Arthur, come meet a friend of mine.

Viva,

this is my fabulous friend Arthur.

He'll take care of you.

I need to talk to those demanding girls!

Ta-ta!

Let me introduce myself.

Arthur Canter the Second
at your disposal.

Glad to meet you. I'm Viva.

An aspiring model, I assume.

Not quite, but maybe someday.

Where are you from?

Judging from your look and your name,
I would say...Tuscany. Am I right?

Yes. My mother was Italian,
and I was born in Rome,

but I've lived here most of my life.

My parents died in a car
accident when I was little,

and I was raised in a
convent in San Jose.

But the nuns sent me away
to a public school when I was 14

because they said
they couldn't handle me.

And what about you?
Where are you from?

I'm from Liverpool, child.

I've traveled the wide world
and the seven seas

and done just about everything
that you could possibly think of.

Right now I'm amusing myself

directing a local production
of the hit show “Oh, Baby.”

Heard of it?

Of course. Isn't that the one
where no one wears any clothes?

Exactly!

It's new, it's fresh, it's alive!
It reflects the spirit of the age!

Why don't you audition for it?

For a nude musical?
I don't know.

I would love to be in a musical,
but I would prefer to keep my clothes on.

By why not nude?
I mean, why not?

You have nothing to hide.
You're beautiful.

I'll second that.

What?

Nothing, honey.
Why don't you come into the tub?

What do you think?
Should we get into the tub?

It's nice and warm in here.

It does seem warm. Very warm.

I think I'll leave you two lovebirds to it.

Just don't do anything
that I wouldn't do.

Crystal? Don't put that ass away!

What's your name, beautiful?

They call me Viva.

Viva. Meow! That's a
pretty sexy name.

I'm Agnes.

Glad to meet you, Agnes.

You're new around here, aren't you?

I've never seen you at any
of Clyde's parties before.

Yes, this is my first party.

Well, don't get taken in by all of the promises,

that's all I have to say.

Clyde and his friends, they talk big,

but you won't necessarily get
famous hanging around here.

But if you like to party,
I guess that's okay.

Just don't get hurt.

I can take care of myself.

That's good.
I can take care of myself.

That's good.

Because you look like someone
who needs taking care of...

by someone who knows how.

Hey, Viva!

Okay.

Oh. Hello, Arthur.

Clyde isn't here.
He's gone to the country.

Yes, I know.

Do you mind if I come in?

Can I get myself a drink?

Go ahead.

What's that you're reading?

Nothing.

“The Sensuous Woman?”

Why, Viva, you are spending
altogether too much time alone.

What do you mean?

You're burning up with lust.
I can see that.

You spend all day thinking
about nothing but sex,

and yet you're living with a man,
and you don't let him touch you.

Why?

Let me make love to you.

I can make you happy.

No strings attached.

Just pure animal lust.

Just you and me.

Your body and my body,

right here and right now.

Oh, Viva!
You really turn me on!

God, you're fantastic.

Don't hold back!

Give me everything!

You know, Chris, I just can't
get Sheila out of my mind.

Do you think I should call her?

No way. Let her come
crawling back to you.

Show her who's boss.

Yes, I guess you're right.

But it sure is lonely
without any women around.

Are you kidding?

That's the whole point
about being a bachelor.

There are always women around.

You're right.

Why be miserable because of one woman

when there are tons of chicks
who can't wait to get into my pants?

- To the bachelor's life!
- To the bachelor's life!

Go and see who that is, will you?

Hi. I'm Kelly.

I just moved in next door.

These walls,
they're as thin as paper,

and I couldn't help but overhear
you two lonely guys talking.

May I come in?

Sure.

I'm Mark, and this is my brother Chris.

Pleased to meet you.

And what's this you're drinking?
Champagne.

Yes. Please, have a glass.

Don't mind if I do.

Listen, are you two gentlemen into acting?

Not me, but my brother Mark here

does it for a living.

Super-duper!

You should come to the audition for
the new musical "Oh Baby" tomorrow.

It'll be a real kick.

Are you going to be there?

Sure. I go to all the auditions.

Will you read with me?

Well, it's not a reading,
it's a musical.

So you'll need to prepare a song.

Then...let's prepare a song!

But I'm a little slow at learning songs.
We could be here all night.

Shame, shame!

Hey, what about that song?

Later!

More champagne?

There has never been
a better time to be a man.

The willing women.

The dandy clothes.

The frills.

The big rings and jewelry.

The open shirts.

The sense of entitlement.

Take it from me:

Savor this time,

for it will soon be gone,

never to return.

Great, kids, great.
That's much better.

Now for the song.

Next singer, please.

Your name?

Mark Campbell.

Ah! Mark Campbell,
the television star.

Yes, I've seen your work.
It's very...television.

Glad you're breaking out, Mark.

Girls, stay with him.
Help him out. Make him feel good.

Randy, we're doing
”You've Got To Love Yourself."

What key?

E flat.

You got it, baby.

If it feels like your bag

Then wear it on your shoulder

If it comes to you naturally

Embrace it, face it

Don't you want to feel proud

that you're an individual?

Wave your freak flag high

and smile, oh, yeah

You've got to love yourself

Love your body, love your mind

I'm thinking of myself,

and I'm diggin' who I am

I look in the mirror,
and I know I'm not perfect

But I'm all I've got
so I've got to love me

If it makes you feel good,

then spread it all around you

If it makes you feel bad

Then deal with it, get with it

Don't you want to feel groovy,

weird, topsy-turvy?

Paint a colorful world

with your fingers, oh, yeah

You've got to love yourself

Love your body, love your mind

I'm thinking of myself,

and I'm diggin' who I am

I look in the mirror,
and I know I'm not perfect

But I'm all I've got,
so I've got to love me

I've got to love me,

Love me!

That was wonderful.

Take a break, but don't go far.

Now, the pollution number.

Let's chop down another tree

Much less air for you and me

Let's put up a refinery.

Who cares?

Concrete paving is hard to eat...

Acting isn't really my bag.

But I sure go in for the auditions.

Hey, Clyde's hosting an orgy
next weekend.

It's going to be wild.

It's a costume ball, too,
and you're all invited.

Thanks. I'll be there.

If Sheila could see me now.

She's probably sitting at home right now
feeling sorry for herself,

while I get invited to an orgy!

Voila!

What do you think?
V is for Viva.

And C is also for Clyde...

And for cocktail.

And mine is dry.

And V is also for vixen.

And for voluptuous.

And for virgin.

A word I'm sure you're
quite unfamiliar with.

Except with me.

Now, why is that, Viva?

Give me some time.

After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

You're impossible.

You're a devil!

Shoo! Shoo!
Off! Off my sculpture!

The only thing that matters is art.

I will plunge myself in my art

and forget all about you.

And for this one, my dear Viva,

you weren't even the inspiration.

Agnes! Get your ass in here!

I'm sick of showing you my ass.
Finish it from memory.

Why doesn't anyone want
to cooperate around here?

What's wrong with you two anyway?

Hello?

Oh, hi, it's you.

Okay, I'll be right over.

But I have to tell you…
I’m not pleased.

Here you go, Mrs. James.

Where's the rest of it?

I'm not paying any more.
That's all she's worth.

Well, what's the problem?

I can't wait forever.

I mean, the girl wants to be my friend.

But honestly, who wants
to be friends with a girl?

If she doesn't put out this weekend,
I’m going to have to move on.

You know what I mean?

Have you tried drugs?

Drugs?

No.

I mean, I don't want to be
the Big Bad Wolf.

No, wait.

What am I saying?

I should try drugs.

Try these on her tonight.

It will completely
release her inhibitions

and then put her in a total trance state.

Right.

I've heard of this.

All right, I'll try it.

Thanks, Mrs. J.

So this is where the
better set congregate.

Interesting.

Luscious. Luscious.

You want to know what?
You really turn me on.

I turn you on?
I turn everybody on!

Looks like you're dry, Viva.

Here's another.

Thanks.

Hi, lover.

Winston tastes good
like a cigarette should.

You mean "as a cigarette should."

What do you want,
grammar or good taste?

Murray, peel me a grape.

Who do you think you are? Garbo?

That was Mae West, you ass!

Agnes, my Amazon beauty,
come talk to me.

So what do you think of the party?

It has potential.

Yes. I do have the best parties,
but that's because I work at them.

Champagne, caviar,
the best pot and liqueur.

You must try this new
Swedish vodka.

It's the most pleasurable idea
from Scandinavia since the blonde!

It's true that money
can't buy you love,

but it sure can get you
a bunch of willing sex slaves!

I wonder. At least one of your sex slaves
doesn't seem to be cooperating.

Oh. Yes, that one. She is difficult,

and none too discriminating, I hear.

But her taste is about to improve.

Far away, there is a drum

I can hear it go thrum-thrum-thrum

It echoes the beating of my heart

I want to dance until the
deep, deep throbbing starts

She's hot.

Now, look, little missy,
Viva is mine tonight.

If you so much as lay a finger
on her, I’ll crush you.

Understand?

Oh, my heart aches

Oh, I want you to take me now

While the evening is ripe
and full and heavy like a luscious fruit

Do with me what you will

Do it all

I can't stop myself from throbbing

Like a tender shoot

Like a rosebud unfolding

Like a Venus flytrap of love

Holding you

Also throbbing

In my thrall

Stop looking over there, lover boy.

The action's over here, remember?

Hey, isn't that Rick's wife?

What's her name? Barbi?

Yeah. Barbi.

All laid out and ready for a feast.

I could eat her alive.

Eat me alive!

Oh, my heart aches

Oh, I want you to take me now

While the evening is ripe
and full and heavy like a luscious fruit

Do with me what you will

Do it all

I can't stop myself from throbbing

Like a tender shoot

Like a rosebud unfolding

Like a Venus flytrap of love

Holding you

Also throbbing

In my thrall!

Barbi!

Mark!

Barbi!

No. Don't touch her.

It's very dangerous.

I'm the only one that knows what to do.

Everyone, go back to
what you were doing.

Oh, Viva.

Hello?

Hi. Viva?

Just wanted to see how you made it home
from the orgy the other day.

Hello? Hello?

Viva? Is that you?

So you see, Sheila, that's everything.

You can see why
I feel strange about it.

It's as if I became a different person.

I really became this Viva,

this sex goddess.

And they all worshipped
me and wanted me.

I became...how can I tell you?

Totally a woman, and I liked it.

But it was too much.

I saw a side of myself that was
probably better kept hidden,

a side that frightened me.

It was so powerful.

I became a female animal,
made only for pleasure.

Do you know what I mean?

Well, not exactly.

What you're describing
sounds kind of dark.

But I don't see what's so scary
about living for pleasure.

I've done it all my life.

I love to have a good time!

But I think I'm finally done
with the wild life forever.

Barbi, I have the greatest news.

Mark and I are going to have a baby!

But are you sure it's Mark's?

Of course.

Oh Barbi, you don't think I actually slept with
any of those guys at the agency, do you?

Mark and I have
patched everything up.

He came home as soon
as he heard about the baby.

I've never been so happy in all my life.

I mean, I sowed my
wild oats, and it was fun,

but now I realize that all I ever really
wanted was Mark and this baby.

I sold the diamond bracelet and the fur coat
I got from dear old Mr. Carlisle

and put the money into
a trust fund for the baby.

Oh, but we kept the horse.

Isn't he cute?

Barbi, don't look so shocked.

Mark and I tell each other
everything, don't we, honey?

And you thought I was bad.

He went to an orgy!

What's the matter, Barbi?

Never been to an orgy before?

So, what about you?

What are you going to do now?

I'm quitting the wild life, too.

I’ve had enough.

I envy you, Sheila.

You look so happy.

And I miss Rick.

Don't worry, Barbi. He'll come back.

I just know it.

I hope so.

Why don't you just give up on her?
She's not worth it.

Something's not right.

I need to go home.

Telegram for Mrs. Rick Smith.

Is that you?

Yes.

Oh, Rick! Rick!

Oh, Rick. Why don't you
ever use your key?

Mark!

I came over here because
I wanted to see you dance.

Dance for me, Viva!

Dance!

Mark, you're drunk.

I'm drunk.

But not too drunk to...

Always the shy little flower, huh?

You certainly had me fooled.

You're not just dirty, Barbi,

you're abnormal.

What are you talking about?

Clyde told me all about you,

and what you and Agnes did.

You're not only a whore,
you're a filthy lesbian!

Please leave, Mark.

You're not yourself.
You don't know what you're saying.

I don't, huh?

Well...

just because I'm going to be a father
doesn't mean I'm henpecked yet.

I'm gonna teach you how to obey
a real man for a change.

Mark! No!

You little whore!

You've had this coming for a long time!

Barbi. I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Did I hurt you?

No, I'm okay. But please go.

Don't tell Sheila about this.

Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.

But go!

Rick is coming home, and if he finds
you here, everything will be ruined!

Barbi, I'm home!

Rick!

What's that scent?

I recognize it.

It's my perfume.

No, it's not. It's...

Mark's been here!

I'd recognize that cologne anywhere.

And his scent, it's all over you!

Yes. Mark and Sheila came
to visit, but they're gone now.

Oh, honey, it's so great to see you.

Why is your negligee all rumpled
and your hair all disheveled?

Mark's tie?

Barbi, this is the last straw!

No. I cannot forgive you for this.

It's definitely over, Barbi!

Rick! It's not what you think it is!

You've got to listen!

RIck!

So, how's everything going?

Not bad. I'm back on a TV show,

so I'm keeping pretty busy
and staying out of trouble

It's difficult, but I'm going to be a father now,
so I'm changing my ways.

How about you?

Things are going pretty good.
I can't complain.

Barbi and I are taking a vacation next month,

to the Riviera.

Kinda like a second honeymoon.

I've been spending
a lot more time at home lately.

I'll tell you what -

I kinda like it.

Hey, Rick, I've got something for you.

Hold on a minute.

Go on. Open it.

Wow. What is it?

It's an antique wooden duck.

I thought you and Barbi
would get a kick out of it.

You know, a little bit of the old country,
and a touch of European class.

Hey, I think you're right.

I think it'll look great
up on our mantelpiece.

Thanks, Mark.

Don't mention it.

Come on, everybody.

You have to try my new crab canapé.

I got the recipe from Playboy magazine.

Sheila, are you still reading that?

Of course.

Where else would I get such
a fantastic gourmet recipe?

You have to give me the recipe
so I can make it for Rick.

You see? He loves it.

Hello?

Hello, Viva. It's me, Arthur.
How you doing, doll?

Listen, sweetheart.

I have a role for you.

I've been putting it together in my head
ever since I saw you sing at the orgy.

It's a new musical,
with a blonde and a brunette.

Kind of partners-in-crime.

And you don't have
to take your clothes off.

People are bored to death with nudity.

I need to give them something different,
and I'm going to give it to them.

Showgirl costumes, sequins, vaudeville!

A return to the Busby Berkeley
musicals of yesteryear

with just a nod to Jacques Démy.

Listen, come down to the theater
and I’ll tell you all about it.

And if you've got a pretty
blonde friend, gbring her along.

This is going to be the freshest
thing since Liberace!

What do you say?

I'll be right down.

Rick, honey, I've been offered a job.

That's fantastic, honey. What is it?

It's an acting job.
It's what I've always wanted.

I'm going to the theater now
to meet with the manager.

Will you be back in
time to cook dinner?

Of course.

Oh, there, baby.

All right.

Now you get to see Mommy
become a big star!

This is your chance, girls.

Give it everything you've got!

Take good care of him.

We're just two girls
who have seen it all

Things haven't always gone
the way we planned

We've gotten into some
serious trouble

But trouble be damned!

We're just two little girls
from the suburbs

But we can be lovers

Mothers

Singers

Swingers

Friends

It all depends on your point of view

Doo doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo!

We can be what we want to be

We can be free

We can have it all
We're having a ball

We've come a long way, baby

Let's drink to life!

Vive la vie,

Viva la vita

Hey,

We've arrived!

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