All language subtitles for Paradise.2013.1080p.BluRay.x264-ROVERS

This is me
before the accident.

And here's me after I was
barbecued in jet fuel.

The old me was content,
virtuous,

believed in everything.

Marshmallow.

What an idiot.

And now,
we have a very special young lady

with a message of healing.

Lamb Mannerheim has been
a member of our church family

since she was
knee high to a bug.

She's been a valued
youth evangelist,

the Valedictorian of
her home school collective,

and a performer right here
in our music ministry.

As all of you know,

our Lamb survived
a tragic accident

one year ago.

As a community,
we shared in her pain and loss.

But now she is
miraculously back on her feet,

and here with us
to share her message

of faith and courage.

Brothers and sisters,
Lamb Mannerheim.

Hi.

Thanks, Pastor Rick.
Pastor Rick.

Good morning, everyone.

- Good morning.
- She looks so nice.

Look, I know you're all
pretending that you're here

for my testimony about how,
through the grace of God,

I recovered from
my near-fatal accident.

But let's be honest.

You're really just hoping to hear
the gory details about the crash.

Like, for instance,

how I could smell myself burning,

but I couldn't
actually feel anything.

Isn't that weird?

I landed in the parking lot
of a Kroger... on fire,

and all I could think
about was my shoes,

that they looked strange.

And then I realized,
oh, they're melting,

and so am I.

Well, the accident was bad,

but the surgeries...

the surgeries,
those were worse.

Did you know that they can
take skin from your rear end...

...and put it on your back?

But then, where does that
leave your rear end?

Looks like thong underwear is out
of the question for me now, right?

But enough about that.

What I'm really here to say today
is that the horrible,

unspeakable torment
that I had to endure

didn't strengthen
my faith in the slightest.

No benevolent being would
do that to one of his children.

Doug.

So I feel compelled to share
my true testimony with you.

There is no God.

There's me
before the crash again.

Perfect skin, perfect pitch.

Perfect bitch.

My parents watch this
all the time

to remember when
I was the golden child.

Makes me actually vomit.

She is just sharing her gift.

I should mention that
young ladies in my community

aren't allowed
to wear pants, go to college,

show their legs, cut their hair,

read popular fiction,
or listen to the radio.

This performance
is considered edgy.

But today, I was supposed
to get back on the proverbial bike,

walk into that church,

and show everyone how, through
my steadfast faith, I was healed.

Everyone was looking
forward to my testimony.

They were also pretty psyched
about my settlement money.

Now...

I just picked this up in town.

It's all natural minerals
from the earth.

It's makeup.

It's to enhance your countenance.

There.

Dr. Cha says I'm not supposed
to put anything on there.

Lamb, it's 100% natural.

The lady at the mall says
she puts it on her 4-year-old.

Why?

Do you feel ready to give
your inspirational talk?

If you get stage fright,

just imagine Pastor Rick
in his pajamas.

No, thanks.

Let me just hear the beginning.

Do we really have to
do this right now?

No.

Just remember, our whole
community is relying on you today.

There is no God.

Don't touch me.
My skin grafts are really fragile.

I could bleed all over
your nice, new carpeting,

and then you'd have to
take up yet another collection.

Another collection.

You guys already tithed
most of your money

to this place anyway,
so what's the difference?

Get her down, Melanie.

- Lamb, stop.
- I'm almost done, Mama.

- I don't believe in God.
- Lamb.

But here's what I do believe.
I believe in science.

I believe in
the doctors and the nurses

who saved my life in the hospital.

I believe in
prescription opiates,

which work whether
you put faith in them or not,

- Lies!
- And I'm willing to believe that...

...the universe was created
in an explosion,

and that fish creatures
crawled out of the mud...

...and evolved into human beings.
- Devil's lies.

And finally, in our next
presidential election,

I may vote Democrat.

- Blasphemy!
- Democrat?!

Before I'm forcibly
removed from here,

I want to let you all know
that I am leaving Blakesley.

I'm out of here.

I'm going to Las Vegas,
Nevada, tomorrow,

where I plan to gamble
and dance.

- Heretic!
- And drink alcohol,

and frolic with
homosexuals and--

I'm very sorry.
My daughter is still recovering.

- What? Mother, I'm beautiful.
- Please pray for her.

Or don't. The last time
you prayed for me...

...I wound up looking like this.
- Let's get you out of here.

My arms look like
turkey bacon. God who?

After church,
my parents cried and prayed,

and cry-prayed-

But it was too late.

I had booked
an economy class fare

to Satan's playground.

I've got a heart full of rage,

and an L.L. Bean tote bag
full of cash.

Hello, Las Vegas.

Let the sin begin.

Wait, I've got
dishes in there. Oh!

I think that guy
broke my dishes.

Why you bring dishes
to Las Vegas?

We have plates, cups,
gravy boats.

Hey, sir, sir.

Do you have
a shoulder belt?

What, you want baby seat, too?
Goo-goo, ga-ga. Fisher-Price.

My dad told me
I should run and hide

if I ever encounter a Muslim.

Unfortunately,
I'm in a moving vehicle.

Ah, I hate this Trop light.

Trop light?

Tropicana.
Longest light in town.

Looks like Disney World.

You been there?
Disneyland?

I wasn't allowed,

because the Disney corporation
supports a homosexual agenda.

They even have a special day
at the park just for homosexuals.

Homosexuals, yeah.

Last night, in this cab,
I have two gay guys. They get married.

I have no problem with it.

As long as they keep
their penis in the pants.

I tell them, if I see the gay,

if I see any Doogie Howser
bullshit, you're out.

- Thanks.
- Thank you, Mickey Mouse.

You sure? Okay.
Red Lobster, baby.

Enjoy your Premium
Vista Suite, Miss Mannerheim.

Thanks.

I'm lovin' the hair
and the whole thing.

You goin' to that '80s night?

I've seen some people
really commit, but that is like...

tubular.

Totally.

This requires
emergency action.

My mom calls glitter
Lucifer dust.

I'll take it in an extra-small.

I only had, like, half,

but I'm rollin'
so hard right now.

Dude, I'm flyin'.

Hey, we should call
that chick from Marquee,

get some more for tonight.

Phenomenal.

Hi.

Hi.

Where you from, cutie?

Uh, does the curtains
match the drape?

Don't even make sense.

I look legit fat.

No, you don't.
You look gorgeous.

Zoe, those shoes
are phenomenal.

I think I should barf again.

Phenomenal.

Phenomenal.

Ah, shoot.

I know you can't
catch AIDS from a plate,

but just in case,
I brought my own Fiestaware.

"Chalet is Las Vegas'
hottest new night club,"

says Las Vegas
New Club Review.

If you're looking for
the ultimate in decadence,

hedonism, and wrongness,

come to Chalet Las Vegas
and be bad.

Chalet.

In my house,
we make our own soap.

This stuff smells like a whore.

I like it.

Showering is the most painful
pan' of my day.

It's like being on fire
all over again.

Plus, I hate
looking at my body.

Everything I was saving for
my future husband is ruined.

Las Vegas has everything.

Statue of Liberty,
an Eiffel Tower,

even a cafe with
a rain forest in it.

I bet you could spend
years here,

and never, ever get tired of it.

Beautiful, sexy girls, hot girls,

delivered to your room, 20 minutes.
Beautiful girls, hot girls.

It's like a baseball card,
but instead of gum,

you get sex.

If I hadn't renounced God,
I'd pray for Amber.

Straight to your door.

Beautiful girls,
sexy girls, hot girls.

All right, almost naked.

Look at her.

Everybody smile.

Hi-Io, and welcome to
the Hi-Lo Room.

Would you like the first of your
two mandatory cocktails?

Stop singing!

I will have...

Seriously. Stop.

A peach schnapp.

- You're gonna have a...
- A peach schnapp.

Good choice, madam.
Very good choice.

Um, yes, would you like some
ice with your peach schnapp?

No, it takes up too much room.

I want as much liquor
as possible.

That's very smart.
Really smart.

I've only ever known
one British person.

Here's your peach schnapp.

She was a 50-year-old
counselor at my youth camp

named Gaye.

This man is not Gaye.

"I dice Las Vegas."

Yeah, it doesn't really make sense.

Not unless you came to Vegas
to chop up its residents

into little cubes with a knife.

Gotta be the worst
thing I've ever seen.

Okay, thanks.

Yeah, right over here, baby.
No, don't go off-stage.

Don't go? What's up?

Are you gonna sing?

Wha...? No, no, no.

I don't sing.
I don't sing for nobody.

That whole bar-tainer thing,
that lacks dignity.

I'm a little bit too cool for--

Can you refill my dick?

I don't mind doing this, though.

This is perfectly respectable.

Here's your plastic
penis full of liquor.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy your lifestyle.

Ladies and gentlemen,
coming to the stage right now,

an immensely talented
young lady...

You're in luck tonight, because my
best friend Loray is about to perform.

She's amazing. Check this out.

You're in for a real treat.

...very own soulful diva,

Lo ray.

Oh, look at that dress.

- Oh, it's a black chick.
- Come on, baby.

Give me something, sister.

Hello, Hi-Lo.

Go, Aretha.

- Do Aretha.
- Come on, sister.

Girl's got a lot to give.

Oh, she's not supposed
to sing this. She's been warned.

Turn the volume down
on your dress, girl!

I thought she'd have soul.

Boo!

Get on outta here.

Thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much.

Thank you, Loray.
Loray, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm Lamb Mannerheim.

Hi. I'm William Carr.

Lovely to meet you.

Oh, Christ, are you...

are you all right?

Wow, I've never
seen that happen before.

You're using your nose
like a little funnel.

Are you all right, love?

That was my first drink ever.

Honestly?

I tell you what,
you could've fooled me.

You're like Humphrey Bogart
or something with that.

That was remarkable.

Let me get you something
that's a bit more your speed.

Do you want something
a bit stronger, like a gun?

Well, the good news is,

I'm off for the night.

The bad news is humanity.

Do you know what?
Screw humanity.

'Cause I was watching you out there,
Loray, and you were amazing.

Management keeps saying
they want me to sing

Aretha Franklin.
Can you believe that?

Yeah, I know.
It's really weird, isn't it,

that they want you to sing
an upbeat Aretha Franklin song

here in this place of merriment.

I think it's a conspiracy.

This is whitey
trying to keep you down.

I loved your song.
Did you write it?

No, it's Radiohead.

Is that spelled how it sounds?

Loray, this is Lamb,
my new friend.

Uh-oh.

Excuse me?

Let me guess.

You came here to be a showgirl.

- No.
- Oh, come on.

Sittin' here alone
on suicide Tuesday.

Weave down to your ass.

- My hair?
- Bleached blonde.

Real blonde, I'm half Finnish.

Well, look at that.
I'm half finished, too.

Top me off.

Do you know what, Lamb?

Loray may seem a little
abrasive and crude,

but underneath that exterior...

What are you doing?
Why are you not listening to me?

Why are you not enchanted?
Where are you going? Don't go in there!

Oh.

You look like an angry baby cobra.

Look, sorry for
givin' you shit back there.

Sometimes the entertainment
needs to be entertained.

- I'm not a showgirl.
- No one cares what you are, honey.

I care very much.

I care about the message
that I send out into the world.

Besides, I could never
do that anyway.

People would stare. My skin.

Yeah? I got a skin condition, too.

It's called black.

People would stare.

I don't know what that's like.

Do you wanna know
why I'm here?

I come from a small town
where I wasn't allowed

to date or dance or even
go to regular school.

I was in a plane crash
that left half my body disfigured,

and I don't think
I believe in God anymore.

I left home for
the first time today,

because I've missed out
on everything.

Now I just wanna...

experience worldly pleasures
for the first time.

Wow.

Am I in the first
five minutes of pornography?

That is quite
the pitch there, Lamb.

I mean, I have heard
some pretty crazy stories

from some broken
weirdoes

here in the People's
Republic of Bad Choices.

That story takes
the whole hash brownie.

Oh.

Oh.

Is it possible
you're tellin' the truth?

I just wanna be...

like, a regular American.

- So where we going?
- I don't know yet.

If I leave you by yourself, you're gonna
wind up someplace scary,

like the trunk of a car
or Circus Circus.

And I can't leave you here.

You're just a deep-fried
Twinkie from where?

- Montana.
- From Montana. Population four.

And you came here
to get your rocks off.

Did you even have
anything specific in mind?

A little drinking,
games of chance,

your basic abominations.

What's going on with you ladies?

I'm goin' downtown,
and I'm takin' her with me.

Right. Okay.

Why don't you leave her here?

Because I want to get drunk
and kiss boys,

and I don't wanna find this one
on a milk carton tomorrow.

You'd sell a lot of milk, though.

- Why don't you join us?
- Oh...

- That's... ah.
- Sorry.

I'm afraid William
is working until 4:00,

so he won't be doing
any joining this evening.

Actually, Carol has lost
custody of her kids,

as usual, so she wants
to work an extra shift,

so I could clock off at 11:00,

and I could come find you,
so why don't you give me a call...

- I got your number. Have a nice night.
- Make sure you call.

You look like
you're not gonna call.

Wait, this is to pay
for my schnapp.

Oh, that's really not necessary.

Thank you. What a sweet girl.

Make sure you call, right?

What's your last name?

Mannerheim.

- Jewish?
- No!

- Sorry?
- No, it's cool.

Did you really think
I was a Jew?

Wow. A Jew.

Could you, uh,
hold that thought?

I'll be right back.

Here ya' go.

Be lucky.

Hey, listen.

I was thinkin' maybe
you could stick around here.

Let Carol have the night off.

Carol needs structure
right now, okay?

And I like
the weird ones, you know?

This kid's far from home.
She's from Montana.

I'm from England.
You're not looking after me.

Do you know what it's like,
you know when you're a kid,

and you go to bed,
and it snows overnight,

and you wake up the next day,

and everything
looks pure and pristine

and perfect, and you just
wanna get your boots on,

and get out there and mess it up?

I'm from Florida.

Hey, can we go
to Chalet?

You know, Las Vegas'
hottest night club?

Chalet? No way.

The place is a health hazard.

Do you wanna get syphilis?

We are not going to Chalet.

You wanna see Las Vegas?

- Gotta go to Las Vegas.
- We're in Las Vegas.

No, we're not. We're in Paradise.

They call this the Vegas strip.

It's actually located in
a census-designated area

called Paradise.

Paradise, Nevada.

Most tourists don't know that.

They think they're going to Vegas,

when, technically,
they're in Paradise.

Maybe we should
just stay in Paradise.

No. Paradise is
processed cheese.

You want a rollercoaster,
and a fake Eiffel Tower,

and a bunch of people
from St. Louis

clappin' for a friggin'
computerized fountain?

Yay! Robot fountain.

No, you want
the real Las Vegas.

Where the locals go.

If you hate it so much,

why don't you just leave?

There's not a lot of call
for singing tap jockeys

in other parts of the country.

Where's your family?

You just met him.

Oh, the Trop light.

It's the worst, huh?

Oy vey.

Glitter gulch.

Here's some realism for you.

This is where you go to have fun?

Sure, when I'm not in school...

...or degrading myself at the Hi-Lo.
- You go to school?

Yeah. I'm finishing up
my bachelor's at UNLV,

if I can come up with seven grand.

Is that so shocking?

You don't have
any black friends, do you?

Everyone says they have
the one black friend.

You don't even know him, huh?

So what's your major?

Film.

How cool.

We didn't have anything
like that at my college.

Really?

No student filmmakers?
Nobody made shorts?

We weren't even allowed
to wear shorts.

Almost there. We just have
to cut through the experience.

What's the experience?

This baby boomer,
magic mushroom shit show.

Walk, Walk, walk!

Okay, Sherri Shepherd.

You wanna do that, huh?

Yeah. I really wanna do that.

I would need about ten drinks.

Oh, man.

Get back to me in an hour.

Oh, sin.

Perfect. Is that
where we're going?

Yeah, but it means
service industry night.

Cheap libations for those of us
in the hospitality sector.

Like bar-tainers?

Bar-tainers, waitrons,
gondoliers, go-go boys,

human sushi platters.

Human sushi platters?

Yeah. My friend Christian's
been doin' it for a year.

She has to wash herself
with this special soap.

Before or after?

Before. I think after,
she just cries.

All right, let's
get this over with. Pull.

Sorry, pardner. Try again.

- Did I lose?
- Uh, yeah, Lamb.

You lost. You gambled.

And now, you see why
it's pointless. Let's perambulate.

Okay, what's bar?

Did I just pay a machine
to tell me where I am?

- Charlie.
- What are we thinkin'?

I'm thinkin' we're gonna
need some shots.

Oh, my God.

What's up,
Little House on the Prairie?

Look at this denim skirt.

Hey, uh, Charlie, you got
any scissors back there?

I don't know.

My legs are gonna look weird.

Well, can't you take
these stockings off?

No.

Well, there are girls here

that are lookin' stupid on purpose.

At least you can't help it.

What's that?

Uh, close.

We are going to do...

a reverse Ally Sheedy,

and whore you up a little.

- Not too much.
- Oh, come on now.

You don't need much.

You're already this
disgustingly perfect Barbie.

Barbie that got melted
by a lighter.

Lamb is, like, from
the backwoods of Montana.

- She was home schooled.
- No!

- That's inspiring.
- It is?

This is so cute on you. It'll cover up
some of your battle damage.

I like it.

- It's a keffiyeh.
- Pardon me?

A keffiyeh.
Like an Arab scarf.

You mean like Muslim?

The public school system
in this country is a joke.

The federal government,
the food pyramid.

Lamb... has never
been to a dance.

She doesn't have email,

and she's never even
seen an R-rated movie.

Don't worry, it's not offensive
to Muslims or anything.

These things are so popular,
they're totally depoliticized.

Basically, you've never been
exposed to any pop culture?

God, you're lucky.

Okay.

- Cute.
- So cute.

Phenomenal.

Why does everyone keep using
that word incorrectly?

It's inaccurate.
The scarf is not a phenomenon.

On you, it is.
You're fresh, bitch.

Oh, look who's on the dance floor,

and hell hasn't swallowed you up.

Are you sure?

Hey, I realize we do
have something in common.

We do, huh?

Yeah. You don't have
any black friends, either.

Drink your beer.

"Snowy Piste"?

It's ironically delicious.

Are you kidding me?
Sweet William, he found us.

How did he even
know we were here?

Jiminy Christmas.

Ladies. That's
a very nice makeover.

Loray Bell, you promised me you were
gonna look after this young lady,

and now, I find you
drinking Snowy Piste.

I haven't had a sip.

It's, uh, kinda turned out
that I'm a failure at drinking.

Well, it turns out that
you are alone in that,

because this woman
is a success at drinking.

We just bought ourselves
a stool-side seat

for a vomit spectacular
in a couple of hours.

Bravo.

I'm gonna go get some water.

See you in a minute.

Can I have some water?

Oi, what are you doing,

parading her around
like Elephant Man?

Oh, like you came here
with good intentions.

Yes, actually, all I am is
good intentions and good hair.

William, look,
this one is different, okay?

She's not like all of
your other "pals."

This one's from, like,
a religious commune, okay?

Where they keep women
as slaves

and force them to have 50 kids,

and make tater-tot casseroles.

Oh, and she's been
in a plane crash. No, seriously.

And her whole body's
all messed up,

and now, she's, like,
forsaken God.

Hey, Lamb.

Do you need some lubricating?

Would you like me to find you
somewhere to sit down?

No, I feel great.

Often, when I feel great,

I lean forlornly against a wall.

There's no seats.

There's actually a bar upstairs.

It's usually closed on weeknights,

but I'm kind of connected,
and you look like a social radical.

We could go and sit down
up there if you want.

I don't know.

I'm good.

- Are you scared of me?
- No.

You are a little bit.
I understand.

Why, because you're
wearing tight pants,

and you've got
some tattoos? Big deal.

I know preachers
who are as cool as you.

Those preachers
are appropriating

a rock-and-roll look
to sell religion,

when religion and rock and roll
are separate things,

and that look
was designed to sell...

something very different.

They're playing a part,
same as you.

I don't know what
you're trying to sell,

but I suspect you're
as toothless as they are.

Toothless?

If I'm so toothless,

then how come you're afraid
to come upstairs with me?

Afraid? You've
gotta be kidding me.

I've spent my entire life
being trained to follow

a man with long hair and a beard.

That would just be
downright predictable.

Know what, Lamb?

I'm just gonna...
I'm just gonna, uh, let you suffer.

- What?
- Yeah. No, seriously.

If you wanna show
how brave you are,

while simultaneously
sitting down in the toilets here,

some of the seats are
smothered in hepatitis B.

So you can kill
two birds with one stone.

Ta-ta.

All right, take me upstairs.

I just need a place to sit down.

- Oh, sure.
- Thanks.

I get really sore and stiff at night.

It's just, I can't really
move that well.

Well, neither can I.

And I haven't even got
a beautiful, tragic excuse.

Plus, I've got $100 that says that

you can still dance
a lot better than I can.

This is really nice.

Well, isn't that
a quirky little affectation?

Actually, it's for
the scar tissue in my hands.

"Rode hard"?

Yeah, um...
I had that done ages ago.

I grew up around horses.

Me, too. I grew up
in cattle country.

You ride Western or English?

Both.

What you looking for?

My medicine.

Oh, look. Isn't this awful?

You just dial a number,

and then a girl shows up
at your hotel room.

It's like ordering Chinese.

Sometimes literally.

Can't you see how young she is?

This probably isn't even
the actual girl,

if it makes you feel any better.

A lot of the time,
these pictures are fake.

It's a completely different girl
that shows up at your room,

let me tell ya'...
I hear, from a source.

- Oh, my gosh.
- You all right?

I only have six pills left.
I thought I brought more.

Six is a lot of pills, Lamb.

Six is nothing.

There's gotta be a 24-hour
pharmacy or something, right?

Vegas is a 24-hour pharmacy.
You're gonna be okay.

Just relax.
We'll get something later.

Okay.

You look like Santa Claus,

but just, like, thinner...

and hotter.

Ya' know, I prayed for
an Easy Bake oven

when I was a little girl;
I never got it, Santa.

Okay, I can't find your mouth.

So...

tell me about your family.

I had enough counseling
in the hospital.

I'm on a couch with a man,

and both my feet are off the floor.

I mean, yeah, it's because
my stupid body is failing me,

but still, I'm a slut.

Loray says you're
her only family.

- Loray said that about me?
- Yeah.

Loray does have family
down in Orlando.

She's got a little sister that
she basically raised herself,

because, you know...

you can see she's a caretaker still.

People are like that, aren't they?

She's got a nephew
she ain't even met.

I think he's, like,
two or three years old.

I'm not really good
with kid-type stuff.

Anyway, I keep saying to her
she needs to go down there

and reconnect,
'cause family's family.

If you got that stuff,
you need to...

but I think, for her,
it's very painful.

- Hey!
- Hey!

You guys, you have to
come downstairs immediately.

Some people are line dancing...

...as a joke.
- As a joke, they're line dancing?

Well, this is brilliant. Let's get NASA
on the phone. Someone call CNN.

She's resting.

No, no, I'm fine.
I'm feeling much better.

- Were you guys talkin' about me?
- Yeah, we were, actually.

We were having
a conversation entitled,

"Third Wheels of the World
Who Ruin People's Vibes,"

and your name came...
No, we weren't talking about you.

Why don't you talk about me?

She does this every time.

We get it, girl. You can put
your whole vagina on the floor.

Okay, all right, that's enough.

Loray, the truck is outside.

The special truck
that delivers the food

to the tummies of the drunk girls.

Yes. Hey, let's go and fill
Loray's little tummy.

- I love food so much. I love it.
- Everybody loves food.

I love it, I love it.

You're so cute, you little--

Okay, well done.

Sorry. Sorry about the damage.
Here she goes.

I need it. I need that.

You can keep that hat.

Okay, so listen,

we've done drinking and gambling,

you've been dancing
with, what is it you call them?

- Sodomites.
- Sodomites.

Love that word, love that word.

And I failed at all three.

No, don't say that. You were great.

Oh, but look.

- Wow. Brilliant.
- Petty theft.

That's one of mine.
Where did you get that?

- She nicked that from the bar, Loray.
- Okay, so what's next?

Because I am
such a nice person,

everyone passed this around,

and wrote down naughty things

they thought you should try.

- We can do some of that?
- Oh, yeah.

- All done.
- You whore.

Are you sure this is illegal?

Oi, you girls finished pissing?

Ready?

They try to connect the holes.

- Oh, my...
- Sorry

You're in luck, Skipper.
I just renewed my license.

Gosh, it's so short.

Feels so light.

Oh, you look totally butch.

Might as well drop you off
at the enlistment center.

Go cop your dope.

Pick-up for Mannerheim.

That's me. Thanks.

Thanks.

What's the matter?
You seem agitated.

Okay, so tell me,
how do I have fun?

'Cause I'm honestly
not having fun yet.

Bars are not fun.

The bar smelled like the flu.

Smelled like the section
at the pet store

where you get turtles.

And that adult magazine,

that was the most
revolting thing that I've ever seen.

It's not fun, William.

Maybe I'm not fun.

No, um...

you are fun.

- Really? You think I'm fun?
- Yeah.

And I'm not alone in that.

This little guy happens to think
you're hilarious, as well,

doesn't he? "No, I don't."
We're not gonna get into that.

Look, I think maybe you've just
not found your thing yet.

Okay, you guys,
now this is fun.

Hey, listen, if you're scared,

we don't have
to do this, you know.

No, no, of course I'm not scared.

This is almost like Disney.

- I'm so excited.
- Again with Disney.

Loray...

- I think you're Type D.
- What the hell is Type D?

You don't know what Type D is?
It means you're depressed.

Or maybe it's just
late on a Tuesday,

and I'm tired of being
your magical Negro.

Um, my what?

- No, no.
- Magical Negro.

Magical Negro
is a narrative convention

in which a black person
uses their special black wisdom

to help a white person in need.

We learned all about it in class.

Ghost, Green Mile,
Bagger Vance.

All magical Negroes.

You aren't a magical Negro,

and if you got so much
special black person wisdom,

how come you just texted your
ex-boyfriend those Carole King lyrics?

I got wisdom.

You haven't got wisdom.
Don't touch me now.

Lamb, don't I say a lot of things

that make you go,
"Wow, Loray just told me.

She's so insightful."

- Yeah, yeah.
- Racism.

Hold steady.
Are you all right, love?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Take it easy.
She's a little banged up.

Ma'am, if you have
a pre-existing medical condition...

...I can't let you ride this thing.
- I'm fine.

I'm fine.
I'm as healthy as a horse.

Which is, of course, very healthy.

I know about that 'cause
I'm an expert in equine matters.

You've never ridden a horse
a day in your life.

I'm ready.

What are you angry
with me for?

- You know why.
- Because of this?

Oh, look, you know I love you,

but you're makin' a play for a girl

who's held together
with Band-Aids and chewing gum.

You've been up her ass all night.

Bringing her here?

You know we'd never be
caught dead doin' this tacky shit,

and all just to defile
some poor girl from the sticks.

- In my defense--
- No!

You are makin' her
feel pretty, and that's cruel.

She is pretty.

She thinks I'm a good guy, Loray.

What a dumb-ass.

No one's thought I was good
since I was 9 years old.

Twelve for me.

That makes more sense.
You are a bit difficult.

I know it sounds weird
coming from me,

but I'd never take
advantage of her, ya' know?

You're right.

It does sound weird
coming from you.

William the Conqueror.

- Bill the Butcher.
- Slick Willie.

You lovers ready to go?

Oh, gag me.

I don't know how I let you guys
talk me into this!

Hey, you okay?

Yeah. I'm fabulous.

So, what's next?

Oh, my God.
You're bleeding. She's bleeding.

Whoa! Hey, what happened?

I'm fine. It's just my skin graft.

Skin graft? That sounds
like something that should

be dealt with in a hospital.

No. No hospitals.

I'm having fun.

I'm having fun in Sin City.

You guys, I'm fine.

Lamb, don't be embarrassed.

Let's just go to a clinic or a hospital,

and take it easy for a couple of hours.

I'm tired of taking it easy.

All I do is take it easy.

I can't stop taking those stupid pills.

I feel like I'm dying.

We're all dying on a cellular level.

My goodness, I never
thought about it that way.

- You're so wise.
- Okay, we're getting a bit distracted.

We've had enough fun tonight.

Let's take care for a little while.

No. All anybody wants to do
is take care of me. I'm sick of it.

You know what?
You're lucky, Lamb.

Look, I know you resent
the way you were raised,

all the church stuff and everything.

But there are worse things than being

a perky, privileged little blonde
with saviors everywhere.

At least people care where you go.

Your mama's probably
looking for you right now.

Nobody's looked for me in years.

Hell, last time
somebody Googled me,

there was no Google.

They had to Alta Vista that shit.

That's a lie. William said...

William said that you had family,
and they miss you.

He did, did he?
Well, this isn't about me.

Look, I didn't come here
to be coddled,

and be treated like I'm
some kind of fragile thing.

- Seriously?
- I'm just trying to connect with her.

- Shall we talk about this now?
- Connect?

I'm staying out, and I'm gonna
party my butt off,

whether you guys like it or not.

Hey, listen, I know we've
upset you, but can you not go?

I don't want you to be alone
in this city. I wanna take care of you.

Thank you for everything.

I'm not gonna be
your burden anymore.

Lamb? Lamb.

Brilliant idea you had,
bringin' her here.

- It's your fault.
- My fault?

"Dying on a cellular level"?
What does that even mean?

The night is still young,

and I can't let some minor bleeding
keep me from major depravity.

Phenomenal.

Chalet, prepare
to get Mannerheimed.

Free shots.

Take one.

Shots here.

I like it.
Show me a little more.

Shots, shots, shots!

Hey. Hey, Blondie.

- Come and sit with us.
- You wanna sit down?

Actually, I'll just take this.

Have another shot.

You got something
on your face, babe.

Stop.

Honey, something is on your face.

I have no idea what that is.

What is that?
Where you goin'?

You need to wash your face.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.

This is V.I.P., baby.
You got a V.I.P.?

I'm disabled.

You aren't gonna O.D., are you?

Why does this always
happen to me? Oh!

Wait, no, I need them.

I know, I know. Hydros?
That's not a bad way to go.

All right.

Wow! Where do you
buy your hair?

Is it human?

It's a miracle.

It's really thick.

No, you're...

you're Amber.

Do we know each other?

I can't believe it's you.

You're...
you're a magical prostitute.

Bye.

No, no, you don't understand.
It's a miracle.

Mm-hmm.

Please, just, uh,
just stay here and talk to me.

Please.

I'll pay you.

Well, she's gone.

Go and get her.

How am I supposed to do that?

She's been swallowed up
by the Vegas night, hasn't she?

I think
I might know where she is.

Honestly?

Unfortunately, yeah.

Yeah, but why would you tell me?

You've been trying
to get us separate all night.

You don't trust me, do you?

Remember that time
I got food poisoning at work,

and you guarded the entrance
to the women's bathroom

for, like, three hours?

The memory will never leave me.

And that time I needed someone

to go with me to my
junior thesis screening,

and you came and pretended
to be my brother?

Yeah, I do. I was very convincing
in the role of Derek.

Look, what I'm saying is,

I know you're a total creeper.

But just this once,

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

- So this is nice.
Uh-huh.

You need a mint.

This'll wake you up.
Here. Gratis.

Occupied.

What happened to you?

Um, well...

I was in a plane that went down.

The boy who was courting me--

my fiancé,
I'd reckon you'd call him--

he was a pilot in the Air Force.

Normally, our dates
were chaperoned by our parents,

but he wanted to take me
up in his plane,

and it only had two seats,

so my parents were willing
to make an exception,

just once.

He was a good pilot, but...

Did he get as messed up as you,

all that shit on your neck?

He lucked out.

- Not a scratch, huh?
- No, he died.

Amber...

I can't go back to Montana.

I've destroyed everything,

and I thought I could
live in a godless world,

but this is not what I expected.

This is so much worse than home.

Ha! Nothing's worse than home.

Trust me.

I'm scarred for life. No offense.

Um, I said 100.

I know. It's a couple of
thousand in cash.

You know what?

I'm gonna write you a check, too.

I know you professionals
probably can't take checks,

but I'm good for it, I swear.

Is this a joke?

There was a problem
with the plane.

Major mechanical failure.

My family... well,
my family and Micah's family,

we sued, and we won.

I'm worth, like, millions of dollars.

I was supposed to give
a lot of it to my church.

They were expecting a big
announcement on Sunday, and then...

well, it didn't really go
the way that they planned.

I think I have better ideas for it.

Yeah, yeah, I would...

say this is a real stroke of genius.

I have been so angry

at everyone.

Mostly God.

Is this a TV show?

Do they have TV shows like this?

Wow. Wow.

Oh, man, I'm gonna
buy a bunch of stuff

for my boys.

My one son, it's his birthday
next week, the same as mine.

He must have been a great gift.

Yeah.

How did you know my name?

I recognized you from the card.

You know, the card that
they hand out on the street.

I know, it's crazy.
What are the odds?

It's like plane crash odds.

I...

You... Wait a minute.

You recognized me
from that picture?

That's, like, ten years ago.
I was a kid.

You're the same person.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

- Okay.
- It's still you.

Okay. It's still me.

Those are real, ya' know?

Amber, you are fearfully
and wonderfully made.

You found me.

Feels like Christmas now.

Yeah, that snow was a surprise.

I wasn't expecting that at all.

I wasn't even talking about the snow.

Loray!

- I'm so sorry.
- You went ghost on us.

I'm sorry I went ghost on you.

You small-town people sure like
to lay on the physical affection.

What is this?

Anthrax, probably.

Magical, sparkly
anthrax from fairyland.

How did you guys know where I was?

We're people who live
in the world who know people.

I spoke to my friend Jorge,
he works here.

He said he saw
a blood-soaked blonde

staggering into Chalet,
put two and two together.

Well, you didn't
have to come after me.

He insisted.

Hey, listen,
I'm gonna get some ice

for that beautiful little shoulder.

Try not to do anything weird.

Ow! That's my favorite arm.

Hey, look, I gotta go.

I'm workin' Beatles Brunch later.

There's gonna be a lot of
half-priced mimosas,

and idiots who don't even know
about George's solo stuff, so...

You all squared away here?

Yeah, I think so.

Loray, thank you

for a wonderful tour of Vegas.

And thank you for
being worried about me.

I think I'm ready
to go see the real world now.

You're goin', huh?

Yeah, I didn't think

you would settle for
the half-scale version.

- You're too smart.
- What about you?

What about me?

Why don't you try to get that degree,

get out of Las Vegas, like you said?

Where am I supposed to go?

What about Florida?

See that sister of yours.

Florida.

Florida.

Yeah, I told ya',

there's stuff there
I don't wanna face.

Well, there's stuff here
I don't wanna face,

but I'm doing it,

even if it hurts.

You always make things
sound so simple.

Think I'll home-school my kid.

I think I'll take that as a compliment.

I wanna give you my phone number,

in case you ever wanna,

you know...

- ...explore.
- Yeah, oh, okay.

You're squishin' my cotton candy.

- Yeah.
- Sorry.

Hey, see you in the trenches.

When are you working?

Same time as you.
I'll be your Ringo.

Love you.

She's my mate.

I know.

What's with the dishes?

Just, you know,

in case I wanna eat something.

Hotels are notorious
breeding grounds for bacteria.

Yeah. I hear that

hotel bedspreads are the worst.

They never wash 'em,

so if you shine a black light on there,

they're completely covered in s...

cigarette ash.

- So should we...
- Should we what?

You know what.

Actually, I don't.

It's, um, it's getting light,
so I'll close the curtains.

You don't have to look at me.

Why wouldn't I wanna see you?

Lamb, um...

I just came back here

to make sure you got back safe,

and to tuck you in.

I don't need to be tucked in.

It's okay. I know what to do.

Whoa. No, no, no.

- No, no, no.
- Why?

Because it's not right.

Because I'm hideous, right?

No. Of course not.

Do you know that
some people in my church

think that God punished me?

Maybe I did deserve it.

No. No, you don't.

You are a beautiful young woman
who got hurt, that's all.

No, they don't want me anymore,
and you don't want me, either.

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

I would do crazy things
to you, given a chance.

- No.
- I would. I would.

- Under the right circumstances--
- You wouldn't.

I would. I'd put you
back in intensive care, love.

Sit down. I'd rip off

these weird,
flesh-colored tight things.

They're surgical support hose.

Your surgical support hose,

I'd tie you up with them. Yeah.

But you're gonna
have to forget about that,

because you're 21,
and you're new to the world,

and there are gonna be other guys.

There should be other guys.

It shouldn't be like this.

I won't let it be like this.

Not at 4:00 a.m.,

with a bloody arm,

and with that...

plaster zebra coldly watching us.

I can make my own decisions.

I can take care of myself.

No, I know. I've noticed.

You're also pretty good at taking
care of your server, aren't you?

Yeah?

So how long you
planning to stay here?

I don't know.

I just don't wanna go
back to Blakesley.

Lamb, the world is not
just Blakesley

or the Vegas strip.

There are other places
on the continuum.

It's not just this or that.

I'm figuring that out.

So what did happen
in that club, Lamb?

Well, I went into
a bathroom with a hooker...

Seriously? Bloody hell,
let me sit down for this.

Not like that.

She was the girl from...
Never mind.

You wouldn't believe me anyway.

Anyways, I was looking at her,

and I realized that
everybody has scars,

not just me.

Yeah, the world is
full of the walking wounded.

Exactly. But they don't
get compensated for it.

Nobody calls them brave,
or an inspiration.

I'm lucky.

I have angels everywhere.

Even in Vegas.

- So now I know what I wanna do.
- Oh?

I wanna go see the world,

and I wanna give away my money.

Well, that's a bit extreme.

Why don't you try looking
after yourself for a little while...

No, I've told you, I have
been tended to enough.

Oh, hey.

Can you give this to Loray?

It's for school.

Ooh, no, no, no. I'm not
getting involved in that.

- Loray hates charity.
- So do I...

...and I let her take me
on an all-night pity date.

That's really sweet of you.

I've gotta tell you, Lamb,

you are awful at being awful.

I gave it my best shot.

What is that?

That is a chocolate orgasm.

I've never had one.

Really?

Never?

Not even on your own,
in the bath, by mistake?

I'm gonna try this.

Mmm.

See, I could be bad.

Yeah. Yeah, you're really naughty.

You're like a, um,
a confectionery Hitler.

You gonna do that
all in on your own, are ya'?

You know, that's what
killed Keith Moon.

You know what?
You can stop here.

- Right here?
- Yeah. Thank you.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Oh, thank God!

Are you hurt?

NO. Mom, I'm happy-

I'm happy-

Is she in pain?

She says she's happy.

Oh, no.

What I did in church,

it was wrong.

Disrespectful.

I had a problem with people
shouting their beliefs at me.

But then I went and did
the same thing in turn.

Everyone understands that
you've been through a trial.

They must've been upset.

People tried to talk,

but your mother wouldn't
let 'em get away with it.

She would defend you
through anything.

Really, Mom?

You may not realize this, but, uh...

I can be a bit of a maverick myself.

Remember that sermon about
the dangers of yoga,

and how it suddenly encourages
the worship of false idols?

Well, I thought
that was a bunch of bunk.

I went ahead and bought
a yoga DVD, and I've been using it.

What do you think of that?

Wow. Good for you, Mom.

I just changed the positions
a little in my mind.

Sun salutation
becomes God salutation.

Down dog is down Satan.

And so forth.

We're not stuffy, honey.

We're open to hearing
about your new beliefs,

as long as they're
still very conservative.

Do you guys wanna
watch something?

I'm surprised you
wanted to see this again.

I almost threw it in the trash.

That was a special moment.
I won.

It was a good day.

The Anderson boy is not
much of a drummer.

Well, he's not.

- I'm gonna start singing again.
- That's great.

As long as you continue
to sing unto the Lord.

The Christian Lord,
not Buddha or Allah,

or whomever else
they worship out there.

That reminds me.

I got this really cool scarf
on my trip that I want you to have.

It would look
really great on you, Dad.

Really?

Thanks, honey.

You should wear it to church.

I will.

Are you leaving again, Lamb?

William is still at the Hi-Lo.

I heard he even gets
onstage once in a while.

I finally got a cell phone,
and we text all the time.

Smiley face.

William told Lora y
the money was from

an anonymous
magical college fund.

She took it, and now, she has
an internship near her family.

They live right by Disney World.
Isn't that cool?

Dad's keffiyeh
sparked a fashion trend

at Grace Redeemer.

And me, I'm really different now.

Yeah, I have better hair,

but I'm also just better.

I didn't believe I could be.

And now, I wanna help
other people get better, too.

Some folks say
this whole world is broken.

I say it's paradise.