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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,755 How. 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,257 White man come with iron buffalo. 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,260 I know what a bulldozer is. You can't build here. 4 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,685 This land is on top of an ancient indian burial ground. 5 00:00:14,705 --> 00:00:16,432 Well, that's why we're gonna dig this up, 6 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:19,318 build condos, then put the ancient indian burial ground 7 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,431 back on the roof. And to make it up to you, here's 8 00:00:22,451 --> 00:00:24,297 two tickets to a baseball game, okay? 9 00:00:24,317 --> 00:00:27,307 - But there are four of us. - Well, I guess you'll have to scalp some. 10 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,314 Let's see... put the jacuzzis right here and... 11 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:33,036 Agh! 12 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,300 Mr. Pickles! 13 00:00:37,031 --> 00:00:40,482 S01E03 Foul Ball 14 00:00:40,615 --> 00:00:43,687 sync and corrected by ninh www.MY-SUBS.com 15 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,856 Good boy! 16 00:00:58,452 --> 00:01:02,728 Oh, boy! My first baseball game! Maybe I can catch a ball. 17 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,897 Honey, let me drop you off and take the truck. 18 00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,899 But whenever you borrow my truck, it comes 19 00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:08,396 back with a new dent. 20 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:10,353 You won't have to pay for parking. 21 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,146 - Mm! - Aren't you excited, Mr. Pickles? 22 00:01:13,793 --> 00:01:15,408 Oh, Mr. Pickles! 23 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,493 You can't bring that dog to the game. 24 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,278 He's been cutting people's heads off. 25 00:01:19,363 --> 00:01:21,947 - I've seen him do it. - Mr. Pickles! 26 00:01:22,032 --> 00:01:24,533 You're having a hard time with this water. 27 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,452 Hmm. 28 00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,323 - Morning, Goodmans! - Morning! 29 00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,659 Mr. Bojenkins is teaching me 30 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,695 how to crip-walk. 31 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,730 - Sweet! - Remember, now... heel, toe, 32 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,098 - heel, toe. - Like this? 33 00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,434 - Nope. - Sheriff, Mr. Pickles 34 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,769 is cutting people's heads off. 35 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:47,440 Remember the time he told us Mr. Pickles forced him to wear 36 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,393 that dead possum like a diaper? 37 00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:55,564 Whoa! Look at all the indians! 38 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,316 Bye, mom! 39 00:01:57,401 --> 00:01:59,318 - Bye, dear. - Have fun at the game. 40 00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:01,657 Remember, no new dents on my truck! 41 00:02:01,677 --> 00:02:06,659 Today, the old town featherheads take on the southville worms! 42 00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:09,462 'Course, some folks want the featherheads name to change, 43 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:12,548 calling it racist. But they've been unsuccessful, 44 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:16,335 just like my son, who dropped out of college to become a mime. 45 00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:19,422 Anyhoo, today, we've got a special guest in the crowd... 46 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,757 Miss Fulton, the oldest person in old town. 47 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:25,678 She's 119 years young, and we are honored to have her here. 48 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,980 - You can eat my ass! - Well, it looks like 49 00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:30,566 these are our seats... foul-ball territory. 50 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,351 Maybe I can catch a foul ball! 51 00:02:32,436 --> 00:02:34,019 I'll show you how to catch some balls! 52 00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:35,825 Hey! Ho! 53 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,692 Oh. Excuse me. 54 00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:41,861 Traffic. Well, here we go. 55 00:02:41,945 --> 00:02:44,079 - Aaaaaah! - Oh, my goodness! 56 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:48,979 - I cut your legs off! - Well, don't give yourself so much credit. 57 00:02:48,999 --> 00:02:49,835 Huh? 58 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:54,623 I had my legs cut off so I could sneak booze into places. 59 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:59,378 O-one for whiskey, one for soda. Drink? 60 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:03,549 - Um, no, thanks. - I'm having a tailgate party. 61 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,816 - Wanna come? - I'm not really a baseball fan. 62 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,556 Well, I guess I could go for a little while. 63 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:12,091 Come on! 64 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:17,144 - Kiss cam! - You're on the kiss cam, buddy! 65 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:17,947 The what? 66 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,064 - The kiss cam. - Kiss me! 67 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,066 Sorry, everybody. We're not together. 68 00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:22,701 Screw you, jerk! 69 00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,620 What, do you hate America? 70 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,705 Boo! This is fun! 71 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,157 Yeah, uh, you know what? 72 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,792 Maybe I'll go grab us some snacks. 73 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,961 And I'll stay here and catch a foul ball. 74 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,580 Okay, son. Hot dogs! 75 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:38,167 Huh? 76 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:42,555 - No! I won't let you do it! - Why? Because we're gay? 77 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,890 What?! That dog was gonna cut your head off. 78 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,425 Oh, it's fake. 79 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,761 - What are you, crazy?! - Boo! 80 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,514 Peanuts! Get your peanuts! And cocaine. 81 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,480 - Peanuts! - It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson at the plate. 82 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,235 He's never hit a fair ball in 83 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:59,205 his 22-year career. Fouler, of course, the all-time 84 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:03,008 foul-ball leader, closing in on 30,000 foul balls, giving new 85 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,612 meaning to the word "failure." And another failure, my son, who 86 00:04:06,696 --> 00:04:08,664 turned to selling his body for alcohol. 87 00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,000 - And here's the pitch! - I hope I catch one soon. 88 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,585 My arm sure is tired. 89 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,119 You can do it, Tommy. 90 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,622 Just a little bump. 91 00:04:16,706 --> 00:04:18,624 Curving foul! 92 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,128 - Aw, darn it! - Hey! What are you, blind? 93 00:04:23,213 --> 00:04:25,168 - I'm blind! - Maybe I'll catch the next one. 94 00:04:25,188 --> 00:04:29,184 That was foul ball 29,999 for Fouler. 95 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,937 The next one could fetch a hefty 96 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:36,108 sum with collectors. 97 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,635 Hmm. 98 00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:41,564 - High fly ball! - It's coming this way! 99 00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,198 - Out of my way! - Where's the ball, boy? 100 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,420 Where's the ball, boy? 101 00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:49,268 - Foul! - I did it. 102 00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:52,488 That ball could be worth a lot of money. 103 00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:54,197 That ugly kid has the ball. 104 00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:55,465 - Cool, huh? - Get him! 105 00:04:55,485 --> 00:04:56,889 Uh-oh! 106 00:04:56,973 --> 00:04:58,808 You want him?! You go through me! 107 00:04:58,909 --> 00:05:01,027 Kid, come with me! 108 00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:02,862 - You'll be safe! - Where did he go?! 109 00:05:02,946 --> 00:05:05,815 - Tommy? Tommy?! - Has anybody seen my dog? 110 00:05:10,904 --> 00:05:15,124 And that's how I ended up sleeping with a mime. 111 00:05:15,158 --> 00:05:16,992 Just kidding... maybe. Drink? 112 00:05:17,044 --> 00:05:19,879 Uh, no, thanks. It is quiet over here. 113 00:05:19,963 --> 00:05:23,716 Well, nobody wants to tailgate with a guy who's been 114 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:28,025 - drinking all by himself. - Well... Maybe just a sip. 115 00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:31,674 - Hey! Y'all partying? - Can we use your grill? 116 00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:34,093 - Well, sure you can use grill. - Bottoms up. 117 00:05:34,177 --> 00:05:35,177 Hi! 118 00:05:37,764 --> 00:05:39,682 - Ugh! - Kiss cam! 119 00:05:39,766 --> 00:05:41,817 Oh, my God. Kiss my wife! Kiss my wife! 120 00:05:41,902 --> 00:05:43,719 - Sorry... no. - What? 121 00:05:43,787 --> 00:05:46,522 - She not good enough for you? - No, I just... 122 00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:49,191 - Agh! - Tommy?! Tommy?! 123 00:05:49,276 --> 00:05:51,243 That's his glove! 124 00:05:51,328 --> 00:05:53,996 Show me where he is. I can't believe I'm following you. 125 00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:56,406 But for once, maybe you are being a good boy. 126 00:05:57,284 --> 00:05:59,268 He's in here? Tommy's not in... 127 00:05:59,336 --> 00:06:02,671 Hey! Mr. Pickles! 128 00:06:02,706 --> 00:06:06,008 Oh, no! 129 00:06:12,118 --> 00:06:15,718 - That's a very special ball you have. - I'm gonna get it autographed. 130 00:06:15,802 --> 00:06:17,686 As you can see, I collect 131 00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:21,273 very valuable collectibles. Perhaps I could take care of 132 00:06:21,358 --> 00:06:24,026 - that ball for you. - I got some collextibles, too, baby. 133 00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:25,060 Wanna trade? 134 00:06:25,145 --> 00:06:27,273 - Ooh! - How 'bout this antique baseball hat? 135 00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:28,417 That's a jockstrap! 136 00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:29,865 - Ooh! What's this one do? - Put that back! 137 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,317 Oh! What's that? don't touch that! 138 00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:34,069 - Ooh! What's that? - Hey! Where'd that boy go?! 139 00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:36,038 Nice doing business with ya! 140 00:06:36,794 --> 00:06:39,208 Cocaine! Get your cocaine! 141 00:06:42,688 --> 00:06:44,747 Hello? Anyone here? 142 00:06:44,798 --> 00:06:48,116 You're Jim "Fouler" Johnson! 143 00:06:48,136 --> 00:06:53,756 Yup... biggest failure in baseball history. But I'm moving on. 144 00:06:53,807 --> 00:06:56,842 But before you go, I wanted to get you to sign... 145 00:06:56,927 --> 00:06:58,594 - Whatever! - But I... 146 00:06:58,678 --> 00:07:00,846 - I said, "shut up!" - No, you didn't! 147 00:07:00,931 --> 00:07:04,767 So you shut up! Anyway, you hit this ball right 148 00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:07,102 to me, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 149 00:07:07,187 --> 00:07:11,023 And I know it's a special ball, so I thought you should have it. 150 00:07:11,107 --> 00:07:13,776 That's the best thing anybody has ever... 151 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,110 Catch! Oww! 152 00:07:15,162 --> 00:07:16,695 Hey! 153 00:07:16,780 --> 00:07:18,998 - Where are you going? - Help! Tommy! 154 00:07:19,082 --> 00:07:23,619 - Ohhh. I'm so hot in here. - Take it off! 155 00:07:23,703 --> 00:07:25,421 Take it off! Take it off! 156 00:07:25,455 --> 00:07:30,292 Okay! 157 00:07:30,377 --> 00:07:33,629 - There you are! - It's a great party. 158 00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:36,048 - But nobody likes me. - Hey! 159 00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:37,800 - Huh? - Meet Hank. 160 00:07:37,884 --> 00:07:40,970 He cut off his legs so he can sneak booze wherever he wants. 161 00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,873 Cool! I use my bra to smuggle food. 162 00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,275 Drink? Sandwich? Quesadilia? 163 00:07:46,343 --> 00:07:48,777 Oh, wow, you got a lot of stuff in there. 164 00:07:48,812 --> 00:07:50,813 - Clam chowder? - Uh-huh! 165 00:07:50,947 --> 00:07:54,650 Tommy, all I've ever hit was foul balls, 166 00:07:54,701 --> 00:07:57,152 and I thought of myself as a failure. 167 00:07:57,237 --> 00:08:02,137 But you made me realize these foul balls mean something to somebody. 168 00:08:02,157 --> 00:08:03,158 Wow! Thanks! 169 00:08:03,243 --> 00:08:07,880 So I'm gonna hit the best foul ball anybody's ever seen! 170 00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:09,665 I believe in you, Mr. Fouler. 171 00:08:09,749 --> 00:08:10,966 My ball! 172 00:08:11,001 --> 00:08:12,885 My ball! 173 00:08:13,003 --> 00:08:14,837 It's okay, boy. The game's almost over. 174 00:08:14,921 --> 00:08:16,672 Come on! 175 00:08:16,756 --> 00:08:20,809 Ah, finally. What?! $25 for a soda?! 176 00:08:20,844 --> 00:08:23,395 Then you can drink the soda and fill it with free ketchup, 177 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,015 - then drink the ketchup. - Floyd. 178 00:08:26,149 --> 00:08:28,350 Well, it's, uh, nice to see you outside the office. 179 00:08:28,435 --> 00:08:30,152 - Boss is here, too. - Huh? 180 00:08:30,186 --> 00:08:31,737 Goodman, you're on the kiss cam, okay? 181 00:08:31,821 --> 00:08:33,906 - Kiss cam! - Oh, come on! 182 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:35,991 Kiss me, Mr. Goodman. 183 00:08:36,026 --> 00:08:37,443 Oh, no! 184 00:08:37,527 --> 00:08:39,695 - Uh, pardon me. Excuse me. - Over here, dad! 185 00:08:39,779 --> 00:08:41,196 - What took you so long?! - Gimme that! 186 00:08:41,281 --> 00:08:42,998 What? I was just... 187 00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:46,969 Still tied at 0-0... also the number of times my wife has 188 00:08:47,037 --> 00:08:49,972 told me she loves me. And that's strike two! 189 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,459 Stay grounded, grandpa. 190 00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:55,511 You're just hallucinating from the steam. 191 00:08:55,578 --> 00:09:01,133 It's not real. Oh-ho! It's not real! 192 00:09:01,217 --> 00:09:03,852 It's not real! Aah! 193 00:09:03,887 --> 00:09:06,272 I-it is real! Agh! 194 00:09:06,356 --> 00:09:09,391 And Fouler back at the plate. 195 00:09:09,442 --> 00:09:12,811 - This one's going foul, boys. - Looks like he's predicting 196 00:09:12,896 --> 00:09:15,281 he'll hit this foul, which doesn't make sense. 197 00:09:15,365 --> 00:09:18,067 - Yay! - But neither does BMI. 198 00:09:18,151 --> 00:09:22,404 Please deal with reality. And here's the pitch! 199 00:09:22,489 --> 00:09:25,240 That ball doesn't look like it's going foul. 200 00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:27,743 Huh?! That ball is... a home run! 201 00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:29,278 - Agghh! - Oh, no! 202 00:09:29,298 --> 00:09:32,965 - Hey! She's drowning! - Kiss cam! 203 00:09:33,049 --> 00:09:34,883 Huh?! No, no, no, no! 204 00:09:34,951 --> 00:09:37,336 And Jim "Fouler" Johnson winning the ballgame! 205 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:40,222 Sadly, he'll go down in history as a murderer. 206 00:09:40,307 --> 00:09:44,060 - And we have a streaker, folks! - Is trying to cut my head off! 207 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,260 You're under arrest! 208 00:09:45,345 --> 00:09:47,429 That is one crazy, old naked man! 209 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,586 That grandpa sure is crazy. But sheriff actually got some good moves. 210 00:09:51,606 --> 00:09:53,152 Zippity-zoooooo! 211 00:09:53,269 --> 00:09:56,071 And that's the ballgame, folks! 212 00:09:56,156 --> 00:09:59,491 - Well, thanks for everything. - Baseball! 213 00:09:59,576 --> 00:10:01,443 You're disgusting. Let's go, baby. 214 00:10:01,494 --> 00:10:02,995 - Okay. Bye. - Beverly? 215 00:10:03,113 --> 00:10:04,446 You smell like medicine. 216 00:10:04,547 --> 00:10:06,498 But at least I didn't dent the truck. 217 00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:08,250 Gimme a kiss! Gimme a kiss! 218 00:10:08,284 --> 00:10:09,918 Kiss?! No! 219 00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:12,538 - Mom, are you okay? - Come on, Tommy. 220 00:10:12,622 --> 00:10:14,340 Let's get her to the shop... I mean, home. 221 00:10:14,424 --> 00:10:17,060 - Where's Mr. Pickles? - He'll find his way home. 222 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,961 He always does. 223 00:10:19,045 --> 00:10:23,513 - Mm. Nice costume. - Stupid white people and their games. 224 00:10:23,533 --> 00:10:26,356 Hey-a, what's this over here? 225 00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,139 Breaking news! Native Americans buy the 226 00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:32,608 old town featherheads. Rename the team "old town 227 00:10:32,642 --> 00:10:36,028 stupid white people"! Ay, what up, dog?! 228 00:10:36,112 --> 00:10:38,447 Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs, here! 229 00:10:38,481 --> 00:10:41,400 Wow! Peanuts, too? 230 00:10:41,484 --> 00:10:44,025 Hey! It's Jim "Fouler" Johnson's foul ball! 231 00:10:44,045 --> 00:10:46,155 - Baseball! - Yes, just be quiet, please. 232 00:10:46,289 --> 00:10:48,874 Good boy, Mr. Pickles. 233 00:10:59,004 --> 00:11:02,760 sync and corrected by ninh www.MY-SUBS.com 17444