Original subtitles

[***]

* WE'VE BEEN REAL STUCK

* ALL TANGLED UP...

* WE CAN'T SEEM TO GET UNTIED

[***]

MORNING!

IT'S A GOOD MORNING. COME ON.

UP, UP, UP, UP, UP. COME ON!

* LET'S MAKE THE CHANGE AND MAKE THIS RIGHT

* WE SPIN OUR HEARTS

* IN CIRCLES, IN CIRCLES THEY GO

* CAN'T SEEM TO STOP

* MY HEART IS ON OVERLOAD

* I'M READY TO GO

* READY FOR MORE

* IT'S GOING TO BE DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE

* IS IT THE AIR?

* NOW'S THE TIME

* THERE'S NO USE WAITING

* WE CAN HAVE IT ALL

* WE CAN MAKE THIS MORE THAN SPECIAL

* 'CAUSE THIS LOVE IS POSSIBLE

OKAY, HURRY UP.

YOU'RE FAST.

OH, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE.

WE'RE OFF.

MOM, WATCH OUT!

[GARBAGE CAN CRASHES]

OH! OH, OH, OH! OH, OH, OH! OH!

ARE YOU GOING TO PICK IT UP?

I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

MOM, YOU ARE SUCH A BAD DRIVER.

WELL, YOU KNOW... UH...

IT'S STILL THERE, MOM!

YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE IT?

I GOTTA GO, I'M LATE.

I'M A BETTER DRIVER THAN YOU ARE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT--

AND I ALWAYS HATED THAT GARBAGE CAN ANYWAY.

* LOVE IS POSSIBLE...

OKAY, YOU DO THE LAUNDRY, I'LL GET THE GROCERIES.

OKAY. BYE, MOM!

OH! SORRY!

[COINS JINGLING]

HEADLY ANDERSON.

MISS MONTGOMERY'S CLASS?

SIXTH GRADE.

YOU'RE BODIE MILLER.

DIDN'T YOU MOVE TO CHICAGO AFTER SEVENTH.

WE MOVED BACK.

TAKE CARE.

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

HEY, BODIE!

[SHUTTER CLICKS]

ARE YOU KIDDING?

HE REMEMBERED YOU FROM SIXTH GRADE?

-WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE NOW? -I HAVE A PHOTO.

HE'S SO HOT!

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

BODIE HELD MY HAND,

OUR EYES LOCKED,

AND THEN HE SAID...

I'M REALLY GLAD I BUMPED INTO YOU.

AH! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!

THIS IS LIFE-CHANGING, HEADLY.

DO YOU REALIZE THAT?

I DO. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT MADE ME DETERMINED TO CARRY OUT MY PLAN.

WHAT PLAN?

THE PLAN FOR MY MOM.

YOUR MOTHER!

HELLO, WHAT DOES YOUR MOTHER HAVE TO DO WITH BODIE MILLER?

WHEN BODIE HELD MY HAND,

IT WAS LIKE NOTHING IN THE WORLD MATTERED.

EVERYTHING JUST FADED INTO THE BACKGROUND

AND WAS TOTALLY UNIMPORTANT.

YEAH?

SO, THAT'S WHAT MY MOM NEEDS!

SO SHE CAN STOP CONCENTRATING SO MUCH ON ME.

SHE NEEDS TO FALL IN LOVE.

ANY PLANS FOR TONIGHT?

WELL, STUDENT GOVERNMENT HAS A MEETING,

BUT PUBLICITY DOESN'T HAVE TO GO.

WELL, LOU GAVE ME A GIFT CERTIFICATE

FOR A REALLY FANCY FRENCH RESTAURANT

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WE GO TONIGHT?

JUST YOU AND ME?

CANDLELIGHT DINNER FOR TWO?

I HEAR THE CREPES ARE AMAZING.

YOU CAN PUT AS MUCH SYRUP AS YOU WANT ON 'EM.

MM!

OKAY, GREAT.

WELL, I HAVE TO DO PAYROLL TONIGHT,

SO I'LL BE HOME BY 7:00,

AND I'LL MAKE A RESERVATION FOR 8:00, OKAY?

OKAY.

[BEEPS PHONE ON]

WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL.

NOT ONLY ARE MY MOM AND I BFFs, BUT WE'RE NOW GOING STEADY.

IF SHE KEEPS THIS UP,

SHE'S GOING TO WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE WITH ME.

TIME TO SIGN HER UP FOR CUPID'S HELPER.

A DATING SITE?

DEFINITELY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY REPLIES?

CONNECT THEM, OF COURSE.

I'VE SET A GOAL.

I WANT MY MOTHER IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE

BY SUMMER.

SUMMER. OKAY.

THIS IS WHAT I WAS THINKING OF

FOR CUPID'S HELPER.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I HAVE MY DOUBTS.

ABOUT WHAT?

AN IRIS?

YEAH, THAT'S MY MOTHER'S FAVOURITE FLOWER.

WHAT IF THE GUY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AN IRIS IS?

IF HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AN IRIS IS,

THEN I DON'T WANT HIM DATING MY MOM.

AND SOMETHING PURPLE?

ISN'T THAT GOING TO BE A STRETCH FOR MOST MEN?

EXACTLY.

I WANT A GUY WHO'S WILLING TO GO THAT EXTRA MILE.

-HI, GUYS! -HEY.

HEADLY, HERE COMES BODIE.

I HEARD HE PLAYED VARSITY FOOTBALL

AT HIS OLD SCHOOL AS A FRESHMAN.

WOW.

THAT WAS LIKE CHEMICAL.

-I THOUGHT HE MOVED AWAY. -HE MOVED BACK--

AND HE'S GOT THE HOTS FOR HEADLY.

I AM LATE FOR MUSIC CLASS.

LATER.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.

HEY.

HEY, LOU,

GUESS WHO JUST GOT BACK FROM THE BANK

AND GOT US A LOAN TO FIX UP

THIS KITCHEN?

I BET YOU'RE GLAD WE'RE PARTNERS!

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT WORK.

YES!

YOU GUYS BETTER MAKE IT WORK.

IF I LOSE THIS JOB,

I'LL BE SLEEPING IN THE STREETS,

GAGGING ON THE FOOD I DRAG OUT OF THE BIN,

AND WATCHING MY TEETH FALL OUT ONE BY ONE.

BUT NO PRESSURE.

NO.

BY THE WAY,

WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH CHUCK,

I SUGGEST YOU TAKE THAT OFF.

NOTED.

WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE,

OUR REASON FOR BEING.

YEAH, YOUR LEGS HAVE GROWN TWO INCHES SINCE YESTERDAY.

YOU STOP THAT.

-HI, HONEY. -HI!

YOU HUNGRY? NAME IT, I'LL COOK IT.

OH, NO, I'M OKAY. THANKS, THOUGH.

SUIT YOURSELF.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ON SUNDAY NIGHT?

MOM, YOU HAVE A DATE WITH CHUCK?

OH.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA GO.

I JUST DON'T FEEL--

TIME SOMEONE ELSE TREATED YOU TO AN EVENING OUT.

THAT'S RIGHT,

MAKE SURE HE PICKS UP THE ENTIRE BILL.

AND DRESS UP A LITTLE.

MAKE AN IMPRESSION.

[CHUCKLING]

IN THE INTEREST OF COOPERATION,

AND SO THAT YOU TWO--

NO, YOU THREE--

DO NOT GANG UP ON ME,

I WILL GO.

HIGH FIVE.

[LAUGHING]

HEY, LOU,

THANKS FOR SETTING ME UP.

JUST GO,

AND HAVE A NICE TIME.

OH, MY GOSH.

[LAUGHING]

[HEADLY SINGING]

* ...ISN'T EASY

* AND FORGETTING'S HARD TO DO

* SECOND CHANCES ARE...

* YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG ON

* BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO FORGET, BECAUSE...

* YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG ON

* BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO FORGET, BECAUSE...

BECAUSE SOME THINGS JUST SUCK.

[***]

OH, SORRY.

MY BAD.

HEY.

HI.

BEEN TO THE LAUNDROMAT LATELY?

OH, WE GOT OUR WASHER FIXED,

SO NOW WE CAN DO LAUNDRY AT HOME.

THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST QUESTION I'VE DEFINITELY ASKED ANYONE

IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[LAUGHS]

AND MY ANSWER WAS TOTALLY LAME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT BRILLIANT CONVERSATIONALISTS

WE ARE.

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER SOMETIME,

AMAZE EACH OTHER WITH OUR BRILLIANCE.

YEAH.

WE SHOULD.

YEAH.

UNTIL THEN.

COOL.

[SIGHS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

MOM, HE'S HERE, AND HE'S EARLY!

OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN!

HI.

HI, I'M CHUCK.

I'M HEADLY.

NICE TO MEET YOU, LESLIE.

OH, SORRY, IT'S ACTUALLY HEADLY.

NICE NAME. [CHUCKLES]

THANKS.

HI.

CHUCK, UM, I'M RENE.

RENE, PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

THANK YOU.

WOW.

HONEY, COULD YOU PUT THESE IN A VASE?

OH, YEAH, OF COURSE.

OKAY.

WELL, YOU TWO, HAVE FUN.

[***]

* IF YOU COULD FEEL THE WAY I FEEL

* YOU WOULDN'T BE AFRAID

* YOU'D SEE HOW GOOD IT FEELS

* TO HAVE SOMEONE TO TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY...

INSPIRE ME, KYLEE.

[***]

THANK YOU, CHUCK. DINNER WAS GREAT.

I HAD A GREAT TIME.

HMM!

YOU KNOW, I AM SO EXHAUSTED.

I HAD SUCH A LONG WEEK.

SO...

GOOD NIGHT.

WHEN CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?

OH, UH...

I'M-I'M SO BUSY.

IT COULD BE MONTHS.

THAT'S OKAY.

UM...

I'M GOING TO CLOSE THE DOOR NOW.

GOOD NIGHT!

GOOD NIGHT, CHUCK!

YOU CAN STOP PRETENDING.

I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE.

HE LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER FROM A DISTANCE.

THE LARGER THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US, THE BETTER.

I WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH MORE FUN

JUST GOING OUT TO DINNER WITH YOU.

SO, WHAT HAVE YOU DECIDED ABOUT BARRY'S OFFICE PARTY?

DEFINITELY NOT GOING.

IT MIGHT BE FUN!

HONEY, I LIKE HIM

WHEN HE'S ORDERING HIS BRISKET, HEADLY!

THAT'S IT.

BUT, MOM, MAYBE IF YOU WOULD

GET TO KNOW HIM--

STOP

PLEASE, JUST STOP, HEADLY.

[SIGHS]

I... I FOUND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ONCE.

IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN.

[HEADLY]: HERE WE GO.

OKAY, AND WOULD YOU SAY THAT MY MOM'S PERSONALITY

IS QUIRKY OR PERKY?

ARE THOSE YOUR ONLY TWO CHOICES?

NO, I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT.

IF YOU WANT A LOT OF RESPONSES, SAY "SEXY."

WILLIS!

AND I WANT QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY.

OKAY, "QUIRKY..."

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO

WHEN YOUR MOTHER GETS THE BILL FOR ALL THIS?

I'M GOING TO SAY,

"HERE'S THE 200 I SAVED FROM BABY-SITTING.

"NO NEED TO THANK ME

FOR TURNING YOUR LIFE AROUND."

WHAT? NO!

HER CREDIT CARD WAS REJECTED.

WE DID ALL THIS FOR NOTHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS NOT GOING TO STOP ME!

WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE OUR OWN DATING SERVICE.

"WE?"

YUP.

OKAY, SO, NOW, CLASS, WE ARE GOING TO REVIEW

LAST WEEK'S CREATIVE WRITING ASSIGNMENT.

"SUM UP MY LIFE IN TWO WORDS."

WHO WANTS TO GO FIRST?

HOW ABOUT YOU, HEADLY?

WE ALWAYS ENJOY YOUR WRITING.

-OKAY. -OKAY.

IF I WERE TO SUM UP MY LIFE IN TWO WORDS,

IT WOULD BE "BAD LUCK."

FIRST BAD LUCK WAS THE NIGHT I WAS BORN.

WE LIVED IN FLORIDA THEN,

AND THERE WAS A HURRICANE.

MY DAD DROVE OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

INTO A DITCH,

RESULTING IN AN OFF-DUTY POLICEMAN

HAVING TO DELIVER ME.

SECOND PIECE OF BAD LUCK WAS,

THAT OFFICER'S LAST NAME WAS "HEADLY."

[CLASS CHUCKLING]

BUT AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME HIS FIRST NAME,

WHICH WAS "ELMER."

ONE GOOD THING--

ACTUALLY, PROBABLY THE ONLY GOOD THING

ABOUT HAVING A HORRIBLE FIRST NAME

IS THAT IT MAKES YOU SYMPATHETIC TO OTHER PEOPLE

WHO ALSO HAVE HORRIBLE FIRST NAMES,

SUCH AS, SAY...

"WILLIS."

[LAUGHTER]

THE THIRD PIECE OF BAD LUCK WAS, WHEN I WAS FOUR,

MY MOTHER'S YOUNGER BROTHER GOT DRUNK, STOLE A CAR,

AND CRASHED INTO A GROCERY STORE WALL.

NO ONE WAS HURT.

BUT THE WORST LUCK OF MY LIFE

WAS FIVE YEARS AGO

WHEN MY DAD DIED.

UH, HE WAS HIT BY A BUS

AND DIED IN THE AMBULANCE ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL.

SO NOW NOT ONLY DO I NOT GET TO BE WITH MY AWESOME DAD,

BUT AS AN EXTRA BONUS,

I'M ALSO THE CENTRE OF MY MOTHER'S UNIVERSE.

I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG,

IT'S REALLY NICE

BEING THE CENTRE OF SOMEONE'S UNIVERSE,

BUT WHEN THAT PERSON'S YOUR MOM,

IT REALLY INTERFERES WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE.

[APPLAUSE]

[BELL RINGS]

[TEACHER]: ALL RIGHT,

I WILL SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW.

OKAY.

I'VE BEEN GIVING IT A LOT OF THOUGHT

AND THIS IS WHAT I THINK WE SHOULD DO.

FOR PLAN B?

YES. OUR VERY OWN VERSION OF CUPID'S HELPER.

WE'LL MEET IN THE PARK.

I'VE SEEN A LOT OF ELIGIBLE-LOOKING GUYS

WALKING THEIR DOGS THERE.

I'LL APPROACH THE PROMISING ONES,

AND TELL THEM THAT WE'RE DOING A SCHOOL REPORT

ON DOG LOVERS,

AND THAT I JUST NEED A LITTLE INFORMATION.

BEFORE THEY KNOW WHAT HIT THEM,

I'LL HAVE THEIR NAMES AND EMAIL ADDRESSES.

WE'LL BE SET.

THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.

I'LL MEET YOU IN THE PARK IN AN HOUR.

BYE.

HEY, HEADLY!

HEY.

CATCH!

[GIGGLES]

I SAW THAT.

[SQUEALS]

[LAUGHING]

OKAY, TIME TO FIND MY MOM A HUSBAND.

HERE I GO.

EXCUSE ME,

HI. DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS?

YEAH, SURE.

ALL RIGHT, SO, YOU HAVE A DOG.

[MAN]: I DO, YEAH.

[HEADLY]: DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS?

THAT WENT WELL.

AND ONE DOWN, ONE MORE TO GO.

EXCUSE ME. HI.

DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS

FOR A SCHOOL REPORT?

UH, YEAH, SURE.

ALL RIGHT, THANKS.

UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

MY NAME'S SCOTT.

SCOTT. NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M HEADLY.

-HEADLY. -NICE TO MEET YOU, SCOTT.

YOU TOO.

ALL RIGHT,

DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS?

-NO. NO KIDS. -NO?

ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP CURRENTLY?

UH, NO.

THOUGH I DO HAVE MY TRUSTY COMPANION HERE.

[LAUGHS]

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

IT WAS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL?

OKAY, SO GUY #1, ERIC.

OWNS A GYM.

JUST BROKE OFF AN ENGAGEMENT, SO THAT'S IFFY.

BUT HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY.

AND GUY #2 IS SCOTT.

HE'S SINGLE. DIVORCED, NO KIDS.

LOVES DOGS, WANTS CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE.

A LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT.

AND NOT IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT.

EXCEPT I WANT TO DO ONE MORE.

HELLO.

1:00.

BUT HE HAS A KID.

SO DOES MY MOM.

MAYBE HE'S DIVORCED.

MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON?

YEAH, MOST LIKELY A MR. MOM.

WE SHALL SOON SEE.

HI! EXCUSE ME,

DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS

FOR A SOCIAL STUDIES ASSIGNMENT?

UH...

IT'S ABOUT HOW MEN ARE MORE INVOLVED

WITH CHILD-REARING THESE DAYS.

-IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE. -OKAY.

SO, HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE?

JUST THE ONE.

ALL RIGHT,

AND APPROXIMATELY HOW MANY HOURS A DAY

WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU SPEND WITH HIM?

ALL THE TIME,

EXCEPT WHEN HE'S AT SCHOOL.

OKAY.

THAT'S QUITE A LOT FOR A DAD.

AND HOW MANY HOURS A DAY WOULD YOU SAY

THAT YOUR WIFE SPENDS WITH HIM?

UH, CONNOR!

WHY DON'T YOU GO PLAY ON THE BIKE FOR A BIT?

MY WIFE PASSED AWAY

THREE YEARS AGO.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S OKAY.

MY DAD PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS 10.

WELL, NOW IT'S MY TURN TO BE SORRY.

THANK YOU.

ANYWAYS, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING,

BUT IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.

-IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. -I'M HEADLY.

HI, HEADLY. I'M ANDREW.

ANDREW, NICE TO MEET YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

IT WAS MY PLEASURE. THANK YOU!

YOU HAVE A NICE DAY.

WE TOTALLY BONDED.

[WILLIS]: I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THIS.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM?

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CONVINCE HER?

[HEADLY]: RELAX, WILLIS.

I HAVE IT ALL UNDER CONTROL.

HEY, MOM...

WILLIS HAS THIS THING FOR SCHOOL.

CAN YOU HELP HIM?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, HE HAS TO DO A VIDEO INTERVIEWING AN ADULT.

KIND OF LIKE

A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE ON SOMEONE.

A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE?

WHY ME?

WELL, IT CAN'T BE ANYONE FROM HIS OWN FAMILY.

IT HAS TO BE SOMEONE ELSE.

SO... CAN HE COME OVER LATER AND FILM IT?

I DON'T THINK I'M THE RIGHT PERSON.

RIGHT PERSON?

MOM, YOU'RE EXACTLY THE RIGHT PERSON, YOU KNOW?

HE NEEDS SOMEONE WHO'S NOT PERFECT,

WHO'S TOO BUSY TO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES,

AND NEGLECTS THEMSELVES MOST OF THE TIME.

THAT'S YOU.

THANK YOU FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE

AND STELLAR DESCRIPTION OF MY BORING LIFE.

MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,

AND BESIDES, WILLIS REALLY, REALLY NEEDS THIS.

PLEASE?

IF YOU AGREE TO DO THIS,

THEN I PROMISE TO DO THE DISHES FOR A WHOLE WEEK.

OKAY, TWO WEEKS,

AND YOU HAVE A DEAL.

OKAY, DEAL.

ALL RIGHT, SMUSH.

OKAY, OKAY.

OKAY, LET'S BEGIN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

IS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY A PERSON CAN HAVE?

UM, A SENSE OF HUMOUR.

I BELIEVE THAT CLICHE

THAT IF YOU CAN LAUGH AT YOURSELF,

YOU CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING.

AND WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO MOST IN YOUR FREE TIME?

ANYTHING FREE.

[LAUGHS]

NO, SERIOUSLY.

I LOVE TO JOG AND HIKE AND SWIM.

ANYTHING OUTDOORS,

AND I THINK CIVILIZATION'S GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT

IS A LONG HOT SHOWER.

OH, AND I LOVE PICNICS.

PICNICS AT NIGHT.

AND DO YOU LIKE CHILDREN?

I LOVE CHILDREN.

I LOVE CHILDREN.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE?

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST CHALLENGE?

OH, UH, TECHNOLOGY.

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE BACK-LIGHTING.

YOU SEE?

I AM TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED.

I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS. REALLY.

I CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK

FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.

I KNOW I'M BIASED,

BUT WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE A WOMAN LIKE THAT.

WE WILL FIND OUT.

DONE.

[CHUCKLES]

[MESSAGE ALERT BEEPS]

HI.

MY NAME IS HEADLY,

AND I'M THE GIRL YOU SPOKE TO IN THE PARK THE OTHER DAY.

I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS DOING A SCHOOL PROJECT.

WELL, I ACTUALLY HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

I WASN'T DOING A SCHOOL PROJECT.

I WAS DOING A PERSONAL PROJECT.

NAMELY,

TRYING TO FIND A GREAT GUY FOR MY MOM.

SO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,

THEN PLEASE OPEN THE VIDEO ATTACHMENT BELOW.

I BELIEVE THAT CLICHE

THAT IF YOU CAN LAUGH AT YOURSELF,

YOU CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING.

[GIGGLES]

NO, SERIOUSLY,

I LOVE TO JOG AND HIKE AND SWIM,

ANYTHING OUTDOORS,

AND I THINK CIVILIZATION'S GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT

IS A LONG HOT SHOWER.

I AM TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED.

I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS, REALLY.

I CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK

FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.

AND CARS?

CARS AND I, THEY DON'T MIX.

IS THAT MOMMY?

NO, MOMMY HAD BLACK HAIR, REMEMBER, CONNOR?

[HEADLY]: SO, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MEETING HER,

THEN PLEASE CONTACT MY FRIEND

AT THE EMAIL ADDRESS LISTED BELOW,

AND HE'LL EXPLAIN HOW TO PROCEED.

[***]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

YEAH?

TWO OF THEM REPLIED.

TWO OF THEM WANT TO MEET HER!

WILLIS, YOU ARE A GENIUS.

I EMAILED THEM BACK WITH THE ADDRESS OF THE BISTRO

AND SUGGESTED TIMES.

THAT'S AWESOME,

BUT DID YOU TELL THEM THAT THEY HAVE TO MEET HER

WHILE PRETENDING THEY'RE NOT REALLY MEETING HER?

THAT SHE CAN'T KNOW WHAT I DID?

I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING IN DETAIL.

[LAUGHING] THAT'S AWESOME.

WILLIS, YOU ARE A GENIUS.

I WILL SEE YOU AT SCHOOL TOMORROW.

[BEEPS PHONE OFF]

[CHUCKLING]

[SIGHS]

TOMORROW THEN.

HI.

TABLE FOR ONE?

YES.

COME THIS WAY.

[SIGHING PLEASANTLY]

I THINK THIS IS FINE.

ENJOY.

THAT'S GREAT, THANK YOU.

OH, UM, COULD I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

SURE.

DO YOU HAVE ANY...

DIET SODA?

OF COURSE.

I'LL TELL YOUR WAITRESS.

YEAH, OH, UH, WAIT.

UM, ACTUALLY, SODA'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

IT MESSES WITH YOUR ELECTROLYTES.

I OWN A GYM.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE DRINKING SODA AT ALL.

WHAT WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR ME?

WE HAVE SOME DELICIOUS LEMONADE.

LEMONADE, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

I'LL HAVE SOME OF YOUR LEMONADE.

OKAY.

SAY, UM, DO YOU WORK OUT?

YES...

BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO GET YOU IN THE GYM,

YOU KNOW, TO GIVE YOU SOME PERSONAL TRAINING.

IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,

I'D SAY YOU HAVE AN ADMIRER.

LEMONADE, TABLE SEVEN.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN THIRSTY.

SIX GLASSES OF LEMONADE

NOW, THAT'S A RECORD.

[CHUCKLES] THANKS.

DO YOU CARE FOR ANYTHING ELSE?

NO, NO, NO, I'LL JUST TAKE THE BILL, SWEETHEART.

WHEW, SIX BUCKS FOR LEMONADE.

THAT IS...

PRICEY LEMONADE.

I ONLY CHARGED YOU FOR TWO.

[SIGHS, MUMBLING]

THANK YOU.

UM...

ANOTHER CUSTOMER.

-HI. -HI.

UM, TABLE FOR ONE?

YEAH.

THIS WAY.

HERE YOU GO.

MITZI?

OH, I DON'T NEED A MENU.

OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT,

'CAUSE YOUR WAITRESS IS RIGHT HERE.

ACTUALLY, WOULD IT BE OKAY

IF YOU TOOK MY ORDER?

OKAY.

I THINK I WILL HAVE A BOWL OF YOUR CLAM CHOWDER.

OH, WE ONLY HAVE THAT ON FRIDAYS.

OH, OKAY. WHAT ABOUT THE RIBS?

LAST WEEK.

I WILL HAVE YOUR BOYSENBERRY WAFFLES, PLEASE.

WE STOP SERVING BREAKFAST AT 11:00, I'M REALLY SORRY.

UH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A LOOK.

OH, I, UH...

I AM LOOKING.

THERE'S A LOT OF WEIRD PEOPLE

ON THE LOOSE TODAY.

ARE YOU WEARING SOME NEW PERFUME OR SOMETHING?

BECAUSE YOU'RE ATTRACTING GUYS

LIKE FLIES TO ROAD KILL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

HI, MOM.

HEY, HONEY, LONG DAY AT SCHOOL?

ACTUALLY, BAND PRACTICE.

OH.

SO HOW WAS THE BISTRO TODAY?

FINE.

[MITZI]: IT WAS BUSY,

BUT I HANDLED THE CROWD WITH MY CUSTOMARY CHARM AND GRACE.

I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE

THAT I'M THE BEST WAITRESS IN THIS PLACE.

YOU'RE OUR ONLY WAITRESS.

YOU MAKE A GOOD POINT.

ACTUALLY,

THERE WERE SOME REALLY STRANGE PEOPLE HERE TODAY.

STRANGE?

IN WHAT WAY?

I DON'T KNOW, THEY WERE JUST WEIRD.

LOOKING AT ME FUNNY.

OH?

YEAH.

WELL,

MAYBE THEY WERE ADMIRING YOU.

OH, THEY WERE.

YOUR MOTHER WAS A MAN MAGNET TODAY.

DROVES OF THEM COMING IN OFF THE SIDEWALK.

[LAUGHS]

TWO, ACTUALLY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

UH, WELL, ONE OF THEM LEFT AFTER DRINKING SIX--

COUNT 'EM-- SIX GLASSES OF LEMONADE.

AND THE OTHER ONE TOOK TWO HOURS TO FINISH HIS SOUP.

DID YOU TALK MUCH TO EITHER OF THEM?

SORT OF. THEY WERE ASKING KIND OF WEIRD QUESTIONS.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?

DO YOU LIKE GETAWAYS? HOLIDAYS?

DO YOU LIKE PAINTBALL?

[CHUCKLING] AS FRIENDS, OF COURSE.

NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

YOU EVER HAD A ROOT CANAL?

AND WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID,

I'M TOO BUSY DURING THE WEEK

TO DO ANYTHING ON MY WEEKEND NIGHTS.

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

WELL, HOW DID YOU END IT WITH HIM?

WHICH ONE, THE CHEAPSKATE?

OR THE GORGEOUS MODEL TYPE,

WHO COULDN'T TAKE HIS EYES OFF YOUR MOTHER?

BOTH OF THEM.

SHE BLEW THEM BOTH OFF.

I MEAN, THE CHEAPSKATE, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

BUT THE OTHER ONE, IF I WAS YOUR MOM--

UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, MITZI, LET'S JUST HOLD THAT THOUGHT.

LET'S GO, HONEY.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

IF WE'RE FAST ENOUGH,

MAYBE I CAN CATCH UP WITH DON JUAN.

[LAUGHS]

[LOU]: RENE,

CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, HONEY.

[BEEPING]

WELL, THAT WAS A TOTAL DISASTER.

SHE BLEW THEM BOTH OFF.

IT DIDN'T WORK?

MISSION UNACCOMPLISHED.

"WEIRD" IS A STRANGE WORD TO DESCRIBE

POTENTIAL SUITORS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU NEED TO MAKE A LIFE FOR YOURSELF, RENE.

YOU NEED TO BE OPEN TO CHANGE.

HEADLY NEEDS SOME SPACE.

SHE'S A YOUNG LADY NOW.

A TEENAGER.

SHE'S NOT YOUR LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE.

HMM?

[HEADLY]: I GOTTA GO.

SHE'S COMING.

TALK TO YOU LATER.

LET'S GO.

GOOD NIGHT, YOU GUYS! THANKS FOR CLOSING UP!

...AND I LOVE PICNICS--

PICNICS AT NIGHT.

I AM TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED.

I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS. REALLY.

I CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO SET THE CLOCKS BACK

FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.

AND CARS...

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

[WILLIS]: BINGO! GOOD NEWS!

THE ONLY ONE WE HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YET,

ANDREW, THE ONE WITH THE KID,

WANTS TO MEET YOUR MOM.

THAT'S AWESOME!

HOPEFULLY, SHE DOESN'T SCREW THIS ONE UP, TOO.

BUT, HEY, THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM, RIGHT?

[LAUGHS]

ANYWAYS, UH, I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW AT SCHOOL.

I-I WAS WONDERING...

YEAH?

IT'S NOTHING.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

[BEEPS PHONE OFF]

HI.

HI.

TABLE FOR TWO?

UH, YEAH.

HI, SPORT!

HI!

THIS WAY.

YOU LOOK LIKE THAT LADY ON TV!

REALLY?

I THINK WHAT HE MEANS IS...

YOU LOOK LIKE THAT WOMAN ON THE NEWS.

SOME WOMAN... THE LOCAL NEWS.

[CHUCKLES]

AND YOU LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER.

ACTUALLY, YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HIS MOTHER.

MY MOM'S IN HEAVEN.

I'M SO SORRY.

SOMETIMES, MY SON JUST SAYS

THE FIRST THING THAT POPS INTO HIS HEAD.

IT'S FINE.

HE'S ADORABLE.

HEY, SPORT, YOU WANT SOME STUFF TO DRAW WITH?

OKAY.

I HAVE SOME THINGS THAT KIDS LEFT.

HERE, YOU CAN PLAY WITH THEM.

HOW ABOUT THIS? WHAT DO YOU THINK? NO?

ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT A MILLION BUCKS?

YEAH.

[LAUGHING]

HERE'S A TRUCK.

I'M GONNA DRIVE A BIG TRUCK WHEN I GROW UP.

MAYBE A BIG, RED FIRE TRUCK?

YEAH!

PUT LOTS AND LOTS OF FIRES OUT.

MOM...

WHO WAS THE FIRST PERSON

YOU EVER FELL IN LOVE WITH?

YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT.

WELL, LET'S JUST PRETEND I DON'T.

INDULGE ME.

YOUR FATHER.

HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR YOU TO REALIZE YOU LOVED HIM

AFTER YOU'D MET HIM?

FOUR SECONDS.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS THREE.

[LAUGHING] OKAY!

IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

THREE SECONDS.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOVED HIM?

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS THE WAY HE MADE ME FEEL.

LIKE HE REALLY UNDERSTOOD ME.

LIKE I WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT GIRL ON THE WHOLE PLANET.

AND WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED HIM?

AFTER HE GAVE ME A FOUR-POUND CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE FOR--

FOR VALENTINE'S DAY.

[LAUGHING]

AND THEN HE SANG YOU A SONG HE MADE FOR YOU,

AND YOU CRIED.

YEAH.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

IT'S ANCIENT HISTORY.

THAT'S OKAY.

I LIKE HISTORY.

[LAUGHING]

SO, WHAT THE "FIRST SOMETHING" YOU CHOSE TO WRITE ABOUT?

MY FIRST BRA.

UH, WHAT, REALLY?

YOU ARE?

I'M KIDDING, WILLIS.

IT'S ABOUT MY FIRST TRIP TO NEW YORK.

OH, YEAH?

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY FIRST FOOTBALL GAME.

I WAS THE QUARTERBACK.

63 TO 0.

TOTAL SLAUGHTER.

OKAY, CLASS, SORRY I'M LATE.

LET'S GET FOCUSSED ON TODAY'S LESSON.

WHO WANTS TO READ FIRST?

[STUDENTS CHANTING] HEADLY! HEADLY! HEADLY!

HEADLY! HEADLY! HEADLY! HEADLY!

I HAVE CHOSEN TO WRITE ABOUT MY FIRST...

REAL KISS.

[ALL CHEERING]

THIS IS GOING TO BE APPROPRIATE, ISN'T IT, HEADLY?

OH, COMPLETELY, MRS. DONNELY.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, UNFORTUNATELY, MY FIRST REAL KISS HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

[ALL MOAN IN SYMPATHY]

THAT'S ENOUGH, CLASS.

I MEAN, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT REGULAR KISSES.

I'VE HAD THOSE.

AND YES...

MY BRACES HAVE GOTTEN CAUGHT ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BRACES.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT NEVER THE REAL THING.

NEVER THE "KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF,"

"MAKE YOUR HEAD SPIN" KIND OF KISS.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

EVER SINCE LADY'S LIPS MET TRAMP'S

OVER A PLATE OF SPAGHETTI IN THE MIDDLE OF A NOODLE,

I'VE WANTED WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED

AS A REAL, MEANINGFUL KISS.

MAYBE BODIE CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT?

[LAUGHTER]

BUT RECENTLY,

I HAVE REALIZED

THAT, IN ORDER TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL KISS,

I FIRST NEED TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP,

AND IN ORDER TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP,

I NEED TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE.

WHAT ABOUT WILLIS?

[LAUGHTER]

TO GET TO KNOW SOMEONE,

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DO SOME SERIOUS FLIRTING.

LET'S GET STARTED RIGHT NOW.

[LAUGHTER]

GIVE IT UP, WAYNE.

SO, BECAUSE THE SAGA OF MY FIRST REAL KISS

IS STILL A TWINKLE IN SOME GUY'S EYE,

I HEREBY VOW TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL BY SUMMER.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

FORGET SUMMER,

I THINK THAT KISS IS GOING TO HAPPEN

WITHIN A WEEK.

YOU'RE HOT, GIRL.

OKAY, THANKS TO HEADLY FOR GOING FIRST.

WE NEED ANOTHER VOLUNTEER.

HEY, GUYS, CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE?

COULD I GET YOUR...

UH...

UH, THE BILL, PLEASE.

SURE.

WHOO-HOO!

SPARKS WERE FLYING ALL AROUND OUT THERE!

I WAS AFRAID THEY'D IGNITE

AND BURN THE BISTRO TO THE GROUND.

THEN WE'D ALL BE IN DEEP TROUBLE,

BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE

YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FIRE INSURANCE.

HE WANTS HIS BILL.

OH, SURE.

NO, NO, I'LL DO IT.

HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

UM... THE FOOD WAS GREAT.

AND THE SERVICE,

WELL, I THINK I'LL HAVE TO COME BACK

TO MAKE THAT DECISION.

THAT WOULD BE NICE.

THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT WITH CONNOR AND ME.

OH, THAT'S NOTHING.

OH, HEY, I'M RENE.

I'M ANDREW.

DO YOU LIVE NEARBY?

YES, I LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PARK,

ON WILLOW DRIVE.

[HEADLY STRUMS HER GUITAR]

YOU KNOW WHAT, HEADLY!

I THINK WE SHOULD STOP TAKING ZUMBA LESSONS!

LEAVE OUR FRIDAY NIGHTS OPEN

FOR SOCIAL EVENTS.

WHAT SOCIAL EVENTS?

THE ONES WE'LL HAVE

WHEN WE'RE NOT TAKING ZUMBA CLASSES?

ANYTHING INTERESTING HAPPEN AT THE BISTRO TODAY?

NO...

NOTHING?

NOTHING AT ALL?

NO...

I THINK I'LL JUST TURN IN EARLY TONIGHT, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, MOM.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

WILLIS, SOMETHING WEIRD IS UP WITH MY MOM.

LIKE HER DAUGHTER SETTING HER UP

ON SECRET BLIND DATES?

NO. NO, I REALLY THINK SHE AND ANDREW

ARE HITTING IT OFF.

YOU KNOW, SHE SEEMS HAPPIER.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT,

IT'S NOT EASY MAKING LOVE CONNECTIONS, WILLIS, OKAY?

YEAH, I KNOW.

ANYWAY, I WANT TO TRY AND FINISH THIS SONG TONIGHT,

BUT I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

OKAY. BYE.

LATER.

HI.

EATING SOLO TODAY?

YEAH, MY SON'S IN SCHOOL.

HE STAYS AN HOUR LATER ON WEDNESDAYS

FOR THIS SPECIAL MUSIC APPRECIATION CLASS.

OH.

HE'S USUALLY OFF BY 3:00.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED TO KNOW THAT.

[CHUCKLES]

BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT HE DIDN'T LIKE THE FOOD

IF YOU DIDN'T EXPLAIN IT TO ME?

[LAUGHING]

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

MY SON...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE'S ADORABLE.

NO, THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, I DIDN'T COME HERE TODAY TO EAT.

YEAH?

WOULD GO OUT WITH ME SOMETIME?

YES. I WOULD LOVE TO.

MAYBE...

I'LL CALL YOU LATER?

[CHUCKLING] YEAH, OKAY.

OKAY. WOW. ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

BYE.

BYE.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A DATE.

A DATE?

YES!

DATE? SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A DATE?

BACK TO WORK.

GO, GO, GO, GO.

HEADLY, SOMETHING HAPPENED AT WORK TODAY.

AND WHAT IS THAT?

WELL, UM,

THIS REALLY CUTE GUY CAME IN,

AND HE ASKED ME OUT.

YEAH?

YEAH.

HE SEEMED REALLY NICE AND HE HAD KIND EYES.

WELL, WHAT'S HIS NAME?

ANDREW.

ANDREW...

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, UH,

I HAVE TO TAKE THIS,

BUT I'LL JUST BE ONE SECOND.

WILLIS, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

MY MOM AND ANDREW ARE GOING OUT ON A DATE.

WE ACTUALLY DID IT.

WE ARE THE DYNAMIC DUO.

I GUESS ALL THE PLANETS ALIGNED TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

[LAUGHS]

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

ANYWAYS, UM, I HAVE TO GO,

BUT, I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW AT SCHOOL.

OKAY, BYE.

-SO, ANDREW? -YES...

[HEADLY STRUMMING HER GUITAR]

[RENE GIGGLES]

[CHATTING AND GIGGLING]

NO...

I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.

[GIGGLING]

OKAY. OKAY, WELL, IF YOU SAY SO.

[DOOR CLOSES, RENE LAUGHING]

ACTUAL GIGGLING?

FULL ON GIGGLING.

WHAT CAN I SAY, WILLIS, WE HAVE THE TOUCH.

YOU AND I SHOULD BECOME PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKERS.

HEY, HEADLY!

HEY, BODIE.

[MOCKING] "HEY, BODIE!"

SO BODIE THE BRILLIANT

IS NOW GOING TO BE THE RECIPIENT OF YOUR SERIOUS FLIRTING?

THE GUY WHO ONCE THOUGHT ALASKA WAS AN ISLAND?

HEY, BODIE!

IS ALASKA AN ISLAND?

NO.

WHO'D THINK ALASKA WAS AN ISLAND?

GREAT.

LOOKING FORWARD TO TONIGHT.

THAT WAS SIXTH GRADE, WILLIS.

AND THE WAY MAPS PUT HAWAII AND ALASKA DOWN IN THE CORNER,

IT'S TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE.

TONIGHT? WHAT'S TONIGHT?

HE ASKED ME OUT.

YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH BODIE?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH BODIE?

IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH BODIE,

IF EVERY SINGLE CELL IN YOUR BODY

DOESN'T SCREAM OUT AN OBJECTION,

IF THE VERY SOUND OF HIS NAME

DOESN'T SEND SHIVERS UP YOUR SPINE,

THEN I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.

[LAUGHS]

GIVE ME A BREAK.

HEADLY, HE'S AN AIRHEAD!

OKAY. [LAUGHING]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

-HI, RENE. IT'S ANDREW. -HI, ANDREW.

HI.

I THOUGHT I'D PICK YOU UP A LITTLE EARLY TODAY.

MAYBE COME BY MY PLACE FOR A DRINK BEFORE DINNER?

HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

YEAH, THAT SOUNDS FUN.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU THEN.

BYE.

OKAY. BYE.

WILLIS, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

CAREFUL!

IT'S A METEORITE.

IT'S FROM AN ACTUAL SHOOTING STAR.

WELL, IT'S AMAZING. I LOVE IT.

SO, MY MOM'S BEEN CANCELLING A LOT OF PLANS WITH ME.

SHE SAYS IT'S BECAUSE I NEED MORE FREE TIME.

DOES THAT BOTHER YOU?

NO. NO, I MEAN, THIS IS WHAT I WANTED.

AND BESIDES, I HAVE BODIE.

I JUST HOPE BODIE DOESN'T DISTRACT YOU

FROM YOUR SONGWRITING,

BECAUSE YOU'RE VERY TALENTED, YOU KNOW,

AND THAT WOULD BE A SHAME.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

EVERYONE LOVES YOUR SONGS.

I'VE JUST BEEN HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH THE LATEST.

A LITTLE WRITER'S BLOCK IS ALL.

THAT'S WHAT I'M CONCERNED ABOUT,

THAT BODIE IS THE BLOCK.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GO ON YOUR DATE TONIGHT.

[CHUCKLES]

RELAX. I'M SURE BODIE IS NOT A PROBLEM.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THAT ROCK FROM THE SHOOTING STAR...

AND I GOT THIS NEW DRESS,

AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT WEARING

THOSE LITTLE TINY EYELASHES.

YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULDN'T WEAR THEM.

I'M WAY TOO OLD.

NO, MOM!

I WANT YOU TO GET FAKE EYELASHES!

I TOTALLY APPROVE.

I JUST... I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU'RE FINALLY INDULGING YOURSELF LIKE THIS.

SO WHERE'S HE TAKING YOU ON YOUR DATE?

TO HIS HOUSE FOR COCKTAILS,

AND THEN WE'RE GOING OUT TO DINNER,

BUT HE WON'T TELL ME WHERE.

IT'S A SURPRISE.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME EARRINGS

THAT WOULD GO PERFECTLY WITH THAT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY?

THANKS, HONEY.

[LAUGHING AND CHATTING]

SO YOU, UM,

YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING.

OH, I, UH,

I RUN A SPECIALTY ITEM ADVERTISING COMPANY.

REALLY?

YEAH, I DESIGN MARKETING CAMPAIGNS

FOR UNIQUE ITEMS

HUH.

LIKE THE ELECTRIC ICE-CREAM SCOOP.

WHAT?

IT SAVES THE ARM FROM UNDUE STRESS.

OH.

BARBECUE GOGGLES, SO THE SMOKE DOESN'T GET IN YOUR EYES.

[CHUCKLING] UH-HUH.

SALAD TONGS THAT DISPENSE DRESSING.

AND THE BIGGEST MONEY-MAKER,

THE ONE THAT PUT US ON THE MAP IS...

THE GLOWING ICE CUBE.

[LAUGHS] WOW.

[GIGGLING]

THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

IMAGINE A ROOM

FULL OF PEOPLE AT A PARTY,

EACH WITH ONE OF THESE IN THEIR GLASS.

I FEEL LIKE I'M DRINKING MOONLIGHT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT.

STAY RIGHT HERE.

I CAME UP WITH THOSE VERY SAME WORDS!

ONLY IT TOOK ME A MONTH!

[LAUGHS]

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.

I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO KEEP YOU AROUND FOR A WHILE.

YEAH, IF YOU CAN AFFORD ME.

[LAUGHS]

I THINK IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO.

COME WITH ME.

BYE, MOONLIGHT.

THIS HAS BEEN AN ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR EVENING, ANDREW.

I MEAN, EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT.

I LOVE EATING OUTSIDE, I LOVE PICNICS.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

EVERYBODY LOVES A PICNIC.

SO YOU...

YOU AND MICHAEL, YOU WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS?

YES.

DID YOU GET MARRIED REALLY YOUNG?

ACTUALLY, WE WENT OUR SEPARATE WAYS

AFTER HIGH SCHOOL,

COLLEGE ON SEPARATE COASTS,

BUT WHEN WE MET UP AT OUR 10-YEAR REUNION,

IT WAS LIKE...

LIKE WE WERE RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF.

HOW DID YOU AND JENNY MEET?

UM, I WAS OLDER.

YEAH?

I CONCENTRATED ON MY CAREER THROUGH MY 20s

AND INTO MY 30s.

TOO IMMATURE TO SETTLE DOWN, I GUESS.

THEN WHEN I WAS ALMOST 40,

A FRIEND OF A FRIEND INTRODUCED US.

SHE WAS MUCH YOUNGER.

IT ALL HAPPENED REALLY FAST.

I'M SORRY, I'M JUST SO CURIOUS ABOUT HOW PEOPLE MEET.

I MEAN, IS IT FATE, OR IS IT AN ACCIDENT?

YOU MUST HAVE PASSED THE BISTRO A THOUSAND TIMES.

WELL, IT'S ON THE WAY TO WORK.

IT WAS SO ARBITRARY.

IT'S SUCH A SWEET BISTRO.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT THEN YOU CAME IN,

AND YOU WERE SO SWEET, AND YOU ASKED ME OUT,

BUT I WAS WEARING A RING...

RENE, I THINK I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

ARE YOU A FELON?

[LAUGHING] NO.

NO, I'M NOT A FELON,

AND I'M NOT IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM, OR...

I JUST WANT TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU

ABOUT EVERYTHING,

SO I NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

WITHOUT BREAKING A PROMISE TO SOMEONE ELSE.

SOMEONE ELSE?

NO, NO, NOT "SOMEONE ELSE" IN THAT SENSE.

UH, LET ME TRY ANOTHER WAY TO EXPLAIN THIS.

I'M REALLY GOOD AT TECHNICAL THINGS.

COMPUTERS.

CLOCKS.

OKAY... I DON'T GET IT.

I COULD EASILY SHOW YOU HOW TO MOVE YOUR CLOCK AHEAD

FOR DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD,

BECAUSE I AM TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED.

I MEAN, I--

I...

HEADLY?

HEADLY SET US UP?

WAIT... [STAMMERING IN SHOCK]

YOU SAW THAT VIDEO! OH!

DON'T-- PLEASE DON'T BE ANNOYED AT HER.

I WANT TO PERSONALLY THANK HER.

TO HEADLY.

TO HEADLY.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT FOR YOUR ESSAY?

ESSAY?

YEAH.

THE ONE ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE SOUND.

OH, YEAH, THAT.

UM... WHEN'S THAT DUE?

[CHUCKLES] MONDAY.

WANT TO HEAR MINE?

SURE.

ALL RIGHT, SO, IN REALITY,

I GUESS IT'S THE SOUND OF RAIN HITTING THE ROOF,

BUT I KNOW THAT'S SUCH A CLICHE,

SO I'M GOING TO GO WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE ORIGINAL

AND SAY THAT I LIKE THE SOUND OF CHAMPAGNE

FIZZING IN A GLASS.

I MEAN, I GUESS I'M SORT OF COPYING WILLIS,

BECAUSE HIS IS THE SOUND OF ICE CLINKING IN A GLASS.

WHO'S WILLIS?

THE GUY YOU SEE ME WITH ALMOST EVERY DAY AT SCHOOL.

OH, YOU MEAN THAT WEIRD GUY IN THE SWEATSHIRT

WITH THE ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM ON IT?

IT ACTUALLY ONLY HAS A FEW PLANETS ON IT, BUT, UM...

HEY!

I KNOW WHAT MY SOUND IS.

WHAT?

IT'S THE SOUND OF BONES GETTING PULVERIZED

UNDER MY DEATH-BLOW TACKLES WHEN I PLAY FOOTBALL.

[GRUNTS]

HUH?

[CAR PULLS UP]

UH, MY MOM'S BACK.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

HEY! DID YOU TW0 HAVE FUN?

YEAH.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

OH, YEAH, A TON OF FUN.

ANYWAYS, I'M GOING TO TURN IN RIGHT NOW,

BUT YOU TWO, DON'T RUSH.

AND BODIE, I HAD A REALLY NICE TIME.

THANKS!

YEAH--

ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT, GUYS!

WELL, UH... CATCH YOU LATER, MRS. ANDERSON.

-GOOD NIGHT. -GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, BODIE.

AND WE HAD THESE LITTLE CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS FOR DESSERT.

[GIGGLES]

IT WAS SO NICE.

THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.

DID HE MAKE ALL THAT FOOD?

NO, HE PICKED IT UP,

BUT HE PICKED IT UP FROM SOME REALLY GREAT PLACES,

WHICH IS AN IMPORTANT SKILL.

I HAVE TO SAY.

SO YOU LIKE HIM?

I DO.

I REALLY DO.

OH!

WHAT ABOUT BODIE?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT,

I REALLY LIKE HIM.

HE'S SO POLITE AND HANDSOME,

AND HE SEEMS REALLY RESPECTFUL TOWARDS YOU.

HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY.

YOU THINK SO?

YEAH.

YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO MAKE ME ASK, AREN'T YOU?

AS IF MY CONCERN ISN'T PAINFUL ENOUGH FOR ME

ALREADY?

YOU COULDN'T CONSIDER MY STATE OF MIND

AND JUST TELL ME ON YOUR OWN?

COULD YOU?

I DIDN'T.

YOU DIDN'T WHAT?

YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT I DIDN'T.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T?

YES, WILLIS, I AM VERY SURE.

I DIDN'T.

WHAT WAS THE REASON YOU DIDN'T?

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO.

YOU DIDN'T WANT TO?

WHY?

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO.

I BEG TO DIFFER. YES, IT IS.

BECAUSE, WILLIS, HIS FAVOURITE SOUND

IS THE SOUND OF BONES CRUNCHING BENEATH HIS FOOTBALL TACKLE.

[LAUGHS]

BUT AFTER TALKING IT OVER WITH MY MOM,

I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO HOLD IT AGAINST HIM.

WHAT?

I HAVE TO MEET UP WITH MY MOM.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

SO, CONNOR CAME TO ME YESTERDAY

AND ASKED IF HE WAS 18 AND UNDER.

I SAID, "YES, CONNOR, YOU ARE 6.

YOU ARE DEFINITELY 18 AND UNDER."

AND HE SAID, "OH, GOOD."

[LAUGHING] AW...

MOM! TELL THEM MY COW JOKE.

UM, WHEN HEADLY WAS 4,

WE WERE DRIVING THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE

AND SHE SAW A CHURCH WITH A COW IN FRONT OF IT,

AND SHE SAID "LOOK, MOM,

IT'S A HOLY COW!"

[LAUGHING]

SO, FROM THEN ON, ALL COWS ARE HOLY.

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH, I PUMP IRON RIGHT OVER THERE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN KISSED BEFORE.

YOU'RE SO SMOKING HOT.

YOU COULD CHANGE THAT.

YEAH.

HUH?

YEAH!

AH...

OH! THE GAME!

[TURNS ON SPORTS RADIO]

RIGHT HERE.

GREAT.

[ANNOUNCER]: ...TO PATTERSON. IN TROUBLE!

[CROWD CHEERING]

YES.

...FROM BEHIND THE BACKBOARDS!

[HEADLY STRUMMING]

[DIALING]

[CALL RINGING]

[VOICEMAIL MESSAGE BEEPS]

YOU'VE REACHED WILLIS, WORLD'S GREATEST PSYCHIC.

SINCE I ALREADY KNOW WHO YOU ARE

AND WHY YOU'RE CALLING,

NO NEED TO LEAVE A MESSAGE.

[BEEP]

WILLIS. MATINEE TOMORROW.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE.

* STARTING OVER IS SO HARD

* IF YOU FELT THE WAY I DO

* YOU'D KNOW HOW...

LOUSY I FEEL.

[***]

* GET IT RIGHT

* YEAH! YEAH!

* GET IT RIGHT

[HEADLY]: I LOVE KYLEE'S NEW SONG.

I REALLY LIKE THAT ONE.

IT'S GOOD.

YEAH.

DO YOU STILL THINK YOU'LL SEE FATHER IN HEAVEN?

OF COURSE I DO.

I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THAT.

WHAT, YOU THINK I WON'T?

YOU THINK IT ALL JUST ENDS?

NO.

IF YOU DO MEET HIM, WHAT WILL YOU SAY?

I'D SAY...

"DADDY...

"DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL YOU

TO LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING?"

DO YOU KNOW

MY MOM AND I NEVER TALK ABOUT THE DAY MY DAD DIED?

I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT.

WHY?

WE ONLY TALK ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS.

NEVER THE SAD.

HOW'S YOUR SONG COMING?

I FINISHED IT.

YOU DID?

I WANT TO HEAR IT.

OKAY.

CAN I VIDEO YOU?

YEAH.

BUT DON'T SHOW ANYONE, YOU KNOW?

I STILL WANT TO WORK OUT A COUPLE OF THINGS.

AND PLUS, IT'S KIND OF PRIVATE.

THIS IS FOR MY MOTHER.

[***]

* IF YOU COULD FEEL THE WAY I FEEL

* YOU WOULD SAY IT'S SO UNREAL

* CAUSE TIME IS TICKIN' FAST AWAY

* GOTTA GET AWAY FROM YESTERDAY

* 'CAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YESTERDAY

* IS HERE TO STAY

* GOTTA GET AWAY...

* I CAN'T LIVE IN YESTERDAY

* 'CAUSE IT'S OVER

* I CAN'T STAY IN YESTERDAY

* 'CAUSE IT'S GONE

* GOTTA GET AWAY FROM HERE

* GOTTA RUN TO WHERE THE AIR IS CLEAR

* GOTTA GET AWAY FROM JUST HALFWAY

* GOTTA RUN AWAY

* FROM YESTERDAY...

[***]

* THE TIME HAS COME FOR MOVIN' ON

* TOMORROW TOO WILL SOON BE GONE

* HIS FACE IS IN THE CLOUDS

* HIS VOICE IS IN THE RAIN

* AND IT SEEMS TO ME

* HE'S TELLING ME

* TO LEAVE BEHIND THE PAIN

* OF YESTERDAY

[***]

* OF YESTERDAY...

[***]

[CLICKS OFF CAMERA]

THAT WAS PERFECT.

DON'T CHANGE A THING.

I DON'T MEAN IT, THOUGH.

WHAT?

THE LYRICS, I DON'T MEAN THEM.

I DON'T WANT TO MOVE ON.

I JUST WANT MY DAD BACK.

HEY, HONEY!

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY DO YOU LIKE THOSE BLACK AND WHITE MOVIES SO MUCH?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THEY'RE CLASSIC.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE NOT ALL ABOUT TIME TRAVEL

AND ALIENS AND HORROR.

YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T LIKE BIG, MECHANICAL, GOOEY MONSTERS?

YEAH, NOT REALLY.

OR TWO-HOUR FIGHT SCENES?

WHERE THE HERO GETS HIT, LIKE, 430 TIMES

AND STILL GETS UP?

YEAH, DEFINITELY NOT.

I LIKE BLACK AND WHITES BECAUSE THEY'RE REAL,

THEY'RE ABOUT ROMANCE AND THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE.

YOU'RE A GOOD KID.

[CHUCKLES]

HEY, DID YOU LISTEN TO THE MESSAGES?

MM... NO, I DIDN'T.

OH.

[BEEPS ANSWERING MACHINE]

HI, RENE. IT'S LOU. CALL ME WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE.

I HAVE AN ENTREE IDEA I WANT TO BOUNCE OFF YOU.

[BEEP]

HI, THIS IS KYLEE EPP AND THIS MESSAGE IS FOR HEADLY.

IF YOU COULD CALL ME OR MY MANAGER AT 555-0199,

I'D LOVE TO TALK TO YOU. THANKS. BYE.

DID SHE SAY HER NAME WAS KYLEE EPP?

MOM!

KYLEE EPP REALLY CALLED ME!

DID YOU TALK TO THEM?

WHY DOES SHE WANT TO TALK?

I GUESS YOU'LL FIND OUT IN THE MORNING.

[***]

[RENE, OVER VOICEMAIL]: HI, ANDREW.

I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN THE PAST FEW DAYS.

I MISS YOU AND CONNOR.

GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU CAN.

BYE.

HEY, CONNOR!

HI, DAD!

THIS IS A PICTURE OF RENE.

WOW!

I LIKE RENE.

IS SHE GOING TO BE MY NEW MOMMY?

YOU ALREADY HAVE A MOMMY, CONNOR.

SHE'S IN HEAVEN.

BUT I WANT ONE HERE.

I KNOW, KIDDO.

WE GOTTA GO HOME.

CAN YOU GET THAT DOOR?

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID.

WHAT DID I DO?

YOU SENT MY SONG TO KYLEE!

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?

SHE CALLED ME.

SHE CALLED YOU?

THAT'S FANTASTIC! UNBELIEVABLE!

SHE MUST REALLY LIKE IT!

NO, SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT, WILLIS.

SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE SONG.

ALL SHE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT

WAS HOW SAD IT WAS THAT MY DAD DIED,

AND HOW HER MOM DIED WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG, TOO,

AND THAT ORPHANS HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER,

AND THAT I HAVE TO STAY STRONG.

LIKE SHE WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO KILL MYSELF

OR SOMETHING.

HEADLY...

I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOW THAT SONG ANYONE.

YOU BETRAYED ME.

BUT I THOUGHT

IF SOMETHING EXCITING HAPPENED WITH YOUR SONG,

YOU'D BE HAPPIER ABOUT YOUR MOTHER MOVING ON, AND...

I WILL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN, WILLIS.

HEADLY!

HEADLY, CAN WE TALK?

I... I WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT, SLEEP, OR CONCENTRATE

UNTIL WE RESOLVE THIS.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS!

I'M SORRY!

I AM SO SORRY!

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[BEEPS PHONE OFF]

[SIGHING]

HAVEN'T SEEN ANDREW IN A WHILE.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

OH, YEAH.

HE'S JUST BEEN AT A SPECIALTY ITEM CONVENTION,

HE'LL BE BACK IN A WHILE.

OH, OKAY.

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE JUST DOESN'T SEEM LIKE HERSELF LATELY.

YEAH, I'VE NOTICED.

HONEY, WILLIS JUST DROPPED THIS OFF.

I DON'T WANT IT.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT.

IT'S SOME KIND OF... ROCK.

HEAR ME OUT.

EVEN THOUGH THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU ANGRY

ALL OVER AGAIN,

I HAVE TO SAY IT.

WILLIS TOLD ME THAT HE CONTACTED KYLEE AGAIN,

AND, APPARENTLY,

SHE REALLY DOES LIKE YOUR SONG,

AND HE'S DYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

OH, PLEASE. YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU?

SO YOU'RE SAYING

THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT KYLEE LIKES YOUR SONG

BECAUSE WILLIS WAS INVOLVED

IN GETTING HER TO LISTEN TO IT?

THAT'S LIKE ME SAYING

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT ANDREW LIKED ME

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE INVOLVED IN GETTING US TOGETHER.

YOU KNEW?

YUP.

MOM, I DON'T LIKE EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING TO US.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I WANT THINGS TO BE THE WAY THEY WERE.

WHEN?

I DON'T KNOW.

COME HERE.

OH, HONEY...

REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO HOLD YOU LIKE THIS

JUST TO GET YOU TO CALM DOWN?

LOOK.

THERE'S SLIPPY AND LOOPY

RIGHT HERE.

THIS IS LIKE A RE-ENACTMENT.

ONLY PROMISE ME

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO START SUCKING YOUR THUMB.

DID YOU MEAN

THAT YOU WISH THINGS WERE THE WAY THEY WERE BEFORE...

ANDREW?

NO.

NO?

NO.

MOM, I'M GLAD YOU HAVE ANDREW,

EVEN IF IT MEANS THAT WE CAN'T SPEND AS MUCH TIME TOGETHER.

IT'S A GOOD THING.

I THINK THAT ANDREW MIGHT BE...

PULLING AWAY.

HE GOT HOME FROM THE CONVENTION LAST NIGHT,

AND HE SAID HE WAS TOO TIRED

[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY] TO COME OVER.

AND HE HARDLY TEXTED ME AT ALL WHEN HE WAS AWAY.

AND THE WORST PART IS

I TOLD HIM THAT I MISSED CONNOR.

AND HE SAID THAT HE WAS AFRAID

CONNOR WAS GETTING TOO ATTACHED TO ME,

SO...

I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING, HONEY.

MOM, ARE YOU...

NO, HONEY.

OH...

SWEETHEART, IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

I'M ALL RIGHT, REALLY.

WHEN YOU GO THROUGH REALLY HARD TIMES...

IT MAKES YOU STRONGER.

IT DOES.

AND WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR DAD,

OH, THIS IS NOTHING IN COMPARISON TO THAT.

I'M SO MUCH STRONGER THAN I WAS BEFORE.

I'LL BE FINE.

I LOVE YOU.

[CHUCKLES FONDLY]

YOU'RE SO TIRED.

CAN I BORROW THESE?

THEY'RE ALL YOURS.

[CHUCKLES]

'NIGHT.

[VOICE CRIES SOFTLY]

[MUFFLED SOBBING]

[RENE SOBBING]

I REALLY MESSED THINGS UP

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS.

PLEASE HELP ME.

[KNOCKS]

ARE YOU OKAY?

WILLIS, I'M SO SORRY.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

I THINK I RUINED MY MOM'S LIFE.

COME ON IN.

WOW.

DEFIES THE IMAGINATION, DOESN'T IT?

TOTALLY.

IT'S SO OTHERWORLDLY.

IS THIS HOW YOU IMAGINE HEAVEN?

NO.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE OUTER SPACE

IS STILL IN THE SAME DIMENSION AS US.

HEAVEN ISN'T.

PEOPLE GET THAT CONFUSED,

AND IT ANNOYS ME.

LIKE, THEY CONFUSE ALIENS AND SPIRITUAL BEINGS.

ALIENS ARE STILL IN THE SAME DIMENSION AS US.

ANGELS AREN'T.

DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE IN ALL THAT?

IN GOD?

HEAVEN? ANGELS?

YEAH, OF COURSE, I DO.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE TOLD YOU THAT.

SO YOU'VE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT, DON'T YOU?

I DO.

I'M INCREDIBLY SMART AND AMAZINGLY DEEP.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE MOST ABOUT YOU.

YOUR OPEN-MINDED BULLHEADEDNESS.

[CHUCKLES]

ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I HAVE A FAULT?

NO, I'M NOT.

YOU'RE PERFECT.

I AM DEFINITELY NOT PERFECT.

I'M SUPERFICIAL,

I GIVE TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE TO LOOKS, LIKE BODIE'S.

I'M ALWAYS WANTING TO DO MAKEOVERS ON PEOPLE.

YOU'VE NEVER WANTED TO DO A MAKEOVER ON ME.

OH, YES, I HAVE.

I'VE JUST NEVER TOLD YOU.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO ME?

WELL...

FIRST OF ALL, YOU NEED WAY COOLER GLASSES.

OR CONTACTS.

AND SECOND OF ALL,

YOU NEED TO MESS UP YOUR HAIR.

YEAH.

SEE, THAT LOOKS BETTER ALREADY.

BETTER?

BETTER IS ALL I CAN HOPE FOR?

[LAUGHS]

AND CLOTHES.

YOU NEED A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE.

JUST SAY THE WORD, AND I'M ON THE JOB.

YOUR PERSONAL STYLIST.

OKAY, LET'S DO IT.

OKAY.

[STUDENTS GUSHING]

WHO'S THAT HOTTIE?

BIANCA!

THAT'S WILLIS!

WHAT?

[LAUGHING]

[STUDENTS GUSH IN EXCITEMENT]

WILLIS!

IS THAT REALLY YOU?

YOU'RE SO PROM-DATE-ABLE.

[SIGHING]

HEY.

HEY.

CAN WE TALK SOMEWHERE FOR A MOMENT?

YEAH, JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES. I'LL MEET YOU IN THE PARK.

OKAY.

WE NEVER DID HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT BEING EXCLUSIVE, DID WE?

UM...

YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

I MEAN, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SEE ANYBODY YOU WANT TO.

IT WAS MY FAULT FOR ASSUMING WE WOULDN'T SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

I'M SORRY, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

JENNY AND I, WE WEREN'T LIKE YOU AND MICHAEL.

SHE HAD AN AFFAIR.

[SIGHS SADLY]

IT WAS LIKE SHE RIPPED MY HEART OUT.

IT WAS LIKE SHE SMASHED MY HEAD AGAINST A BRICK WALL.

I WOULD SIT UP LATE AT NIGHT,

WITH CONNOR IN MY ARMS,

AND JUST CRY FOR HIM.

I WAS DEVASTATED.

IT WAS WITH A GUY THAT I CONSIDERED TO BE

A CLOSE FRIEND.

I'M SORRY...

I NEVER GOT OVER IT,

SO WHEN I SAW YOU WITH THAT GUY,

I JUST...

I JUST SHUT DOWN.

WHAT GUY?

BEFORE I LEFT TO GO TO THE CONFERENCE

THE OTHER NIGHT,

I CAME DOWN TO SURPRISE YOU,

AND I SAW YOU IN THE BISTRO WITH THIS GUY.

YOU WERE HUGGING, AND...

THE MAN YOU SAW ME WITH AT THE BISTRO?

YES.

THAT WAS MY BROTHER, EDDIE.

YOUR BROTHER?

YEAH, HE WAS JUST PASSING THROUGH.

HE LIVES OUT OF STATE.

I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW...

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

WE RUSHED INTO THIS.

I WAS NAIVE,

ACTING LIKE A TEENAGER,

THINKING THAT I COULD FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE AGAIN.

IT WAS RASH, AND...

THE WORST PART IS, WE GOT OUR KIDS INVOLVED.

AND THE THING IS...

IS THAT MICHAEL WOULD HAVE NEVER PLAYED GAMES WITH ME.

I'M SORRY.

IF HE HAD A PROBLEM WITH ME, HE WOULD HAVE TALKED ABOUT IT,

NOT GIVEN ME THE SILENT TREATMENT.

I DON'T LIKE BEING TREATED LIKE THAT.

RENE...

I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION

THAT I'M REALLY HAPPIER BEING ALONE...

WITH HEADLY.

WE DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE.

RENE...

I'M SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE FAITH IN ME...

AND I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY FAITH IN YOU.

RENE!

[TAKING DEEP BREATHS]

WHAT HAPPENED?

I JUST BROKE UP WITH ANDREW.

AH, I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

IT'S COMPLICATED.

RENE, I HAVE TO SAY THIS

BECAUSE YOU'RE IMPORTANT TO ME.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT IN THE EFFORT IT TAKES

TO HAVE A GROWN-UP RELATIONSHIP,

THEN DON'T.

AND IF YOU WANT TO WALLOW IN MOURNING

FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE,

THEN DO,

BUT DON'T GO CLOSING DOORS THAT COULD STAY OPEN.

YOU OKAY, GIRL?

AW... YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

IT'LL BE OKAY.

HEY.

RENT OLD MOVIES.

HUH?

WATCH OLD BLACK AND WHITE MOVIES WITH HEADLY.

SHE'LL LOVE YOU FOR THAT.

AND BE SUPER NICE TO HER MOTHER.

MAYBE EVEN BRING HER MOTHER FLOWERS SOMETIME.

ASK HER ABOUT HERSELF.

AND JUST LISTEN.

OKAY?

JUST LISTEN.

OKAY.

THANKS.

[KIDS LAUGH AND PLAY]

I'M GONNA GET YOU!

I'M GONNA GET YOU!

[KNOCKS]

HI, BODIE.

SO NICE TO SEE YOU.

HEADLY, YOU HAVE A VISITOR!

OH, MY GOSH, SHE'S GOING TO LOVE THESE.

ACTUALLY, THEY'RE FOR YOU, MRS. ANDERSON.

THEY'RE A THANK YOU

FOR HAVING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER.

OH, HOW THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

HI.

HI.

UM...

A CLASSIC, OLD BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE.

WANT TO WATCH IT?

UH, NOW?

IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY.

WELL, ACTUALLY,

MY MOM AND I ARE KIND OF HAVING A MOTHER-DAUGHTER DAY.

OH, MY GOSH!

WHAT?

I WAS SUPPOSED TO COVER FOR MITZI TODAY!

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

GOSH!

UH, WELL THEN, I WOULD LOVE TO WATCH IT.

PERFECT.

[MOVIE PLAYS]

[***]

* NO SUN OUT THIS MORNING

* NO ANSWERS IN THE RAIN

* WAKE UP, TELL ME THAT WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT AGAIN

* I CLOSE MY EYES

* AND FEEL YOU SLIP AWAY

* HOLD ON, HEART HOLD ON, LOVE

* DON'T GO NOW

* HOLD ON, HEART HOLD ON TIGHT

* DON'T GO NOW

[***]

* ALL ALONE ON YOUR SIDE

* LISTENING HERE ALL NIGHT

* RIVER RUNS BETWEEN US DEEPER OVER TIME

* I WANT TO FEEL YOU REACHING

* JUST TELL ME IT'S ALL RIGHT

* HOLD ON, HEART HOLD ON, LOVE

* DON'T GO NOW

* HOLD ON, HEART HOLD ON TIGHT

* DON'T GO NOW

* HOLD ON, HEART HOLD ON, LOVE

* DON'T GO NOW

* HOLD ON, HEART HOLD ON TIGHT

* DON'T GO NOW

[***]

* I REALLY LOVE YOU

MOM...

MM-HMM?

HOW COME WE'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT THE DAY DAD DIED?

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE SAD.

MOM, I'M ALREADY SAD.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

EVERYTHING.

WE WERE HERE,

REMEMBER?

BAKING COOKIES.

YEAH.

[CHUCKLES]

THEN THE PHONE RANG.

AND IT WAS THIS LADY.

AND SHE SAID

THAT I HAD TO COME DOWN TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY.

THAT YOUR FATHER HAD BEEN IN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT

WITH A BUS.

AND I, UH...

I DROPPED YOU OFF AT THE NEIGHBOUR'S

AND I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL,

AND I STOOD IN THE DOOR...

I SAW YOUR DAD, AND HE LOOKED...

LIKE HIMSELF,

ONLY RESTING, AND...

UNTIL I GOT CLOSER.

AND HE WAS JUST...

GONE.

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

WASN'T THERE ANYMORE.

AND I WAS JUST..

I WAS JUST SO DEVASTATED, HONEY.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SOMEHOW, I JUST...

KNEW I HAD TO BE STRONG...

FOR YOU.

I'M SORRY.

I JUST COULDN'T TALK.

MOM...

I'M SO SORRY, HONEY.

[KNOCKING INSISTENTLY]

HEADLY?

ANDREW, MY MOM NEEDS YOU...

AND I KNOW THAT YOU NEED HER,

BUT SHE'S STUBBORN,

AND IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH HER,

YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT FOR HER.

COME IN, HEADLY.

* DON'T RUN, JUST CRAWL

* AND YOU'LL SEE IT ALL

* THE WAY YOU JUST LEARNED TO LOVE

* DON'T RUN, JUST CRAWL

* AND YOU'LL SEE IT ALL

* THE WAY YOU JUST LEARNED TO LOVE

* DON'T MOVE TOO FAST

* YOU'LL SEE AT LAST

* WHEN YOU JUST LEARNED TO LOVE

* YOU GOTTA LEARN TO LOVE

* LEARN TO LOVE

* LEARN TO LOVE

* LEARN TO LOVE

* WHEN YOU JUST LEARNED TO LOVE, YEAH

* YOU GOTTA LEARN TO LOVE

* LEARN TO LOVE

* LEARN TO LOVE

* LEARN TO LOVE

* WHEN YOU JUST LEARNED TO LOVE, YEAH

* YOU GOTTA... OH-OH...

MICHAEL,

I DON'T KNOW WHY THINGS HAPPEN

THE WAY THEY DO,

BUT I KNOW YOU'D WANT ME TO KEEP AN OPEN HEART.

AND I THINK YOU'D APPROVE.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I THOUGHT I'D RECIPROCATE?

WHAT, NO CANDIES OR BALLOONS?

NO...

[CHUCKLES]

RENE, I AM SO SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU.

I'M SORRY I WAS SO INSECURE,

THAT I COULDN'T COME TO YOU AND TALK ABOUT IT SOONER.

I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT AGAIN.

I WILL NEVER DO THAT TO YOU AGAIN, I PROMISE.

YOU THINK I'D BE HERE IF I DIDN'T KNOW THAT?

[GIGGLES]

WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT BODIE?

WHAT'S TO DO?

WELL, WITH HIM,

IT'S EITHER SPORTS OR SPORTS.

I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO BAD

ABOUT A GUY CHECKING A FEW SCORES DURING A MOVIE.

THEY'RE SORT OF A BIG DEAL.

WHAT'S WRONG IS

HE'S TRYING TO BE SOMETHING HE'S NOT.

SO?

HE'S TRYING TO CHANGE, FOR YOU.

THAT'S NOT A BAD THING. THAT'S A GOOD THING.

HEADLY,

THE CUTEST BOY IN SCHOOL IS INTO YOU,

AND YOU'RE TURNING IT INTO A PROBLEM.

YOU KNOW, FOR ONCE, I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT.

[GIGGLING]

SMILE, YOU GUYS.

OH, YOU LOOK GREAT!

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

AW...

-THAT'S GREAT. -YOU GUYS...

YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO BE LATE.

-LET'S GO. YOU READY? -YEAH.

HAVE FUN, HONEY.

BYE.

OH, WAIT! I'VE GOT TO GET--

-UH, HEADLY? -YEAH?

I WANT TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR MOTHER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YES! [LAUGHING] YES.

OF COURSE. YES.

I WANT TO THANK YOU, HEADLY,

FOR INTRODUCING YOUR MOTHER AND ME.

I'M PRETTY LUCKY

TO BE GETTING YOU IN MY LIFE, TOO.

CONGRATULATIONS, ANDREW,

AND THANK YOU.

WILLIS!

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS.

ANDREW IS GOING TO PROPOSE TO MY MOM.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

WE DID THIS! THIS WAS US.

WHAT?

WE'D BETTER LEAVE THEM ALONE.

COME ON.

WILLIS...

YOU MADE MY HEAD SPIN.

DO YOU THINK THE MAPLE LEAFS

CAN HANDLE THE BRUINS THIS YEAR?

BUT I DON'T THINK

THEY'LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE THE BLACKHAWKS,

DO YOU?

UH... YEAH.

NO, THEY'LL TAKE THE BRUINS,

BUT... YEAH, BLACKHAWKS ARE DEFINITELY

A DIFFERENT STORY.

[BIANCA]: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF FOOTBALL?

[BRODIE]: HOW ABOUT DREW BREES WITH THE SAINTS?

YES.

YES...

I LOVE YOU, ANDREW.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

GUESS THE KIDS GOT IT RIGHT.

[LAUGHS]

[***]

[***]

* MAYBE I WAS SCARED THAT LOVE WOULD PASS ME BY

* MAYBE I THOUGHT I'D RUN OUT OF SECOND TRIES

* MAYBE THEN I WOULD SEE WHAT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

* THIS WHOLE TIME

* THEN IT HIT ME HARD LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN

* JUST ONE KISS FROM HIM MY WHOLE WORLD WAS CHANGED

* NOW HE'S SAYING MY NAME

* SINCE MY HEART...