Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:04,803
[rhythmic tapping]
2
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,895
‐ Oh, my God,
do you have fleas?
3
00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,241
What's going on?
4
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,356
‐ No idea what you're
talking about.
5
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,952
‐ [loudly]
He's out of cigarettes.
6
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,373
[heavy pop music playingover headphones]
7
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,658
That's why he's bugging out.
8
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:36,911
Kid has a serious
nicotine addiction.
9
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:38,622
‐ No, I do not.
10
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,212
‐ If you need to smoke that
bad, you know who has them.
11
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,917
‐ No, nope.
Not talking to her.
12
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,207
Plus, she's pissed at me.
13
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,550
Look, fellas, I am good.
14
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,506
[pencil snaps]
15
00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:50,046
TAKUMI: I bet she'd bum a few
to Pudgie.
16
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,760
Least she could do
after stomping on his heart.
17
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,470
‐ No way.
18
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,010
I'm not talking to her either.
19
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,983
If you haven't noticed,
I'm not even saying her name.
20
00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:01,765
Plus, I'm not the one
with a cigarette addiction.
21
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,900
‐ Neither am I.
Hey, wake up!
22
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,937
Wake up, God damn it!
Where's the stash?
23
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,741
Don't hold out on me!
‐ You are unravelling rapidly.
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,735
‐ I am watching you.
Where's it at?
25
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,237
You're supposed to be
my friend.
26
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,779
Not happening to me.
All these highlighters!
27
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,913
[growls, screams]
28
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,700
[indistinct chatter]
29
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,754
I want to apologize
for my behavior.
30
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,378
I'm not proud
of the way I acted
31
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,915
and I am ready to seek the help
I so desperately need.
32
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,879
‐ So you've decided
to ask Alaska for cigarettes?
33
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,379
COLONEL: Never.
34
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,761
‐ I thought we agreed that
we weren't gonna use her name?
35
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,468
‐ I tried to do this
cold turkey
36
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,388
and I am, admittedly,
too weak,
37
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:39,177
so we pool our resources
together and go to Coosa's.
38
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,312
‐ How is that gonna work?
39
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,019
You need to be 18
and you don't have an ID.
40
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,559
‐ But you do.
TAKUMI: It's never worked.
41
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:44,862
COLONEL: You never tried.
42
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,265
TAKUMI: Because it will
never work.
43
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:47,613
‐ Lara might have an ID.
44
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,898
She's sweet and kind
and she was into me.
45
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,902
COLONEL: "Was."
Operative word, there.
46
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,494
TAKUMI: Maybe find another girl
and leave Lara alone.
47
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,700
Already puked on her.
Isn't that enough?
48
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,291
COLONEL: Who cares
about Pudge's love life
49
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,616
when my lungs are burning
from all this fresh air?
50
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,372
TAKUMI: Okay, fine.
51
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,043
We'll make a Coosa's run
ourselves.
52
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:09,172
We don't need
she who will not be named.
53
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:12,171
[melancholy music]
54
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:19,184
♪ ♪
55
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,356
[door opens]
[bell jingles]
56
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,356
[door creaking]
57
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,399
[door closes]
[bell jingles]
58
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,072
TAKUMI: Three packs
of Hurricane Lights.
59
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,526
‐ You got ID?
60
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,743
[soulful country musicplaying over radio]
61
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,374
‐ This is Alabama.
62
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:46,001
There's white
and everything else.
63
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,419
♪ ♪
64
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,419
We good?
Pay the man, Mohammed.
65
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,711
GUS: Not even close.
66
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,514
To be honest, it's so bad
it just bummed me out.
67
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,509
You kids can either
buy yourselves some Twinkies
68
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,011
or get the hell out
of my store.
69
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,352
‐ Can't believe
you paid 50 bucks
70
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,888
for that piece of shit.
71
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:07,061
Oh, my Jesus.
TAKUMI: She knows us well.
72
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,482
‐ If they're from Alaska,
73
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,860
shouldn't we just
leave them here in protest?
74
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,896
‐ And what?
75
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,569
Let the next guy
who comes along
76
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,357
reap the only benefits
of a shitty
ex‐friend's remorse?
77
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,862
‐ Might also be
our last, best chance
78
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,323
to save the Colonel.
79
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,703
MILES: By killing him slowly
one puff at a time.
80
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,542
‐ I'm good with that.
81
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,961
[heavy rap music playingover radio]
82
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,957
‐ Shit.
83
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,578
[music stops]
84
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:34,054
‐ That pleasurable experience
last exactly zero seconds.
85
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,917
‐ It's the assholes
we were looking for.
86
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,804
‐ What'd you guys buy,
some cheese?
87
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,472
Uh, to feed the rat.
88
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,470
COLONEL:
What's your point, Kev?
89
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,061
Do you see Alaska here?
90
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,926
‐ Rumor has it that
some of y'all fed the rat
on Thanksgiving.
91
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,354
Spent the whole week
with her, too.
92
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,442
‐ That was a mistake.
93
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,058
One that won't be repeated.
94
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,904
‐ Well, if you want
to stay safe,
95
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,279
just stay away from her.
96
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,436
‐ No problem.
97
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:56,954
LONGWELL: Well,
consider yourself warned.
98
00:03:56,945 --> 00:04:00,065
Alaska Young's gonna get
what she deserves.
99
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,083
[tense, melancholy music]
100
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,286
♪ ♪
101
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,168
[car doors open]
102
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:13,585
♪ ♪
103
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,180
KEVIN: Don't plan
on sitting here.
104
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:24,929
No rats.
105
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,061
[peppy pop music playingover headphones]
106
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,938
STUDENT: There's Alaska.
107
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,395
[all whispering indistinctly]
108
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,356
COLONEL: Fucking shitbirds.
109
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,856
I almost feel bad for her.
110
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,898
‐ Whatever they got planned,
you know it's gonna be brutal.
111
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,453
Stupid, but brutal.
112
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,906
It's not like
we can do anything.
113
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,947
Agreed to ice her out, right?
114
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,910
‐ Maybe we could tip her off?
115
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:50,832
I mean, not stop what's
going downhill, obviously,
116
00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:54,922
but let her know
something big is gonna happen.
117
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,920
‐ Maybe an anonymous note.
118
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,882
‐ Okay.
119
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,382
I had mentally decided
120
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,303
not to be a part
of this conversation,
121
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,472
but based on the direction
that it's going in,
122
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,681
I have to interject.
123
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,890
Alaska would be the first
to tell us
124
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:10,771
that's just reinforcing
the patriarchy
125
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,399
and that she can
take care of herself,
126
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,315
so let her.
127
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,935
[indistinct chatter]
128
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,572
COLONEL: Why is his arm
around her?
129
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,899
‐ Oh, shit.
130
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,914
I was hoping it wasn't true.
131
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,987
I may have heard a rumor.
‐ And you didn't say nothing?
132
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,372
TAKUMI:
It wasn't substantiated.
133
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,329
‐ Plus, you guys broke up.
134
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,329
EAGLE: All right, everybody.
Eyes and ears on me.
135
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,132
Thank you, we're going
to get started.
136
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,995
I hope everybody
enjoyed themselves
137
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,012
over the Thanksgiving holiday.
138
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,755
Who's ready
to end the semester strong?
139
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,684
All right, uh,
we have a few things
140
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,853
that we need to get to.
141
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,391
College applications
need to be emailed
142
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,024
by the end of next week,
so proofread those essays
143
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,271
before hitting "send."
144
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,363
Thank you.
145
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,777
Oh, and also,
as a reminder, uh,
146
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,436
most of these applications
147
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,574
require a teacher's
recommendation
148
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,833
and I am available.
149
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,195
So, I, uh, believe
that Ms. Moser‐‐
150
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,002
Ms. Moser‐‐
Holly has an announcement.
151
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,536
All right, welcome, Holly.
152
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,670
[applause]
153
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,626
‐ Whoo!
154
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,246
MOSER: Reminder,
Culver Creek:
155
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,013
the Winter Dance
is almost here.
156
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,795
Who wants to know
this year's theme?
157
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,128
Drumroll, please.
158
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,604
[all stamping]
159
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,845
This year's theme is...
160
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,177
ugly Christmas sweaters!
161
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:34,022
[cheers and applause]
162
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,771
Buy your tickets now.
163
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,275
EAGLE: All right, great.
Thank you, Holly.
164
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:45,357
Thank you.
‐ [giggles]
165
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,663
‐ What, are they suddenly
Siamese twins
166
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,027
joined at the fucking hip?
167
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:52,374
‐ Look, she wants to dance.
I love to dance.
168
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,080
‐ That can't be true.
‐ And terrifying to imagine.
169
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,251
‐ Okay, fine, I don't dance.
170
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,961
But I'm willing to try for her.
171
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,803
‐ You should
think about it first.
172
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,378
No need to rush into anything.
173
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:08,853
‐ I'm not rushing,
I'm realizing.
174
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:12,265
I've been chasing after Alaska,
and maybe this whole time
175
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,925
the girl I was supposed
to be with
176
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,144
was right in front of me.
177
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,403
Maybe everything
that's happened
178
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,435
has led me to this moment.
179
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,690
To this dance.
180
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,452
[indistinct chatter]
181
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,985
‐ This should go well.
‐ Uh, one, please.
182
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,909
MILES: Um, allow me.
183
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,118
‐ Two tickets, please.
STUDENT: What?
184
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,498
LARA: Miles,
you're cutting the line.
185
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,956
MILES: Oh, no, I'm not cutting.
186
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,416
I'm paying for you...
STUDENT: Come on!
187
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,746
‐ And for me,
so we can go together.
188
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,802
‐ You do this
without asking me first?
189
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,758
‐ Sorry, how many
and who's paying?
190
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,468
LARA: Um, one.
I'm sorry, Miles.
191
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,849
I just want to dance
with my friends
192
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:52,095
and study for my exams.
193
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,717
It is all the stress
I can handle.
194
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,104
[indistinct chatter]
195
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,982
‐ I'd like one, too.
196
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,059
I don't deserve to go
with you now, Lara.
197
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,694
I understand that.
198
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,611
But I hope that
by the night of the dance
199
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,199
I've won your trust
and you've changed your mind.
200
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,945
Prepare to be swept
off your feet.
201
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,908
HOLLY: If you're buying
for yourself,
202
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,698
you need to go
to the back of the line.
203
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,832
MILES: Right, yeah.
No, of course.
204
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,580
Sorry.
205
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,541
[mellow music]
206
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:28,553
♪ ♪
207
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,928
[approaching footsteps]
208
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:40,726
[birds chirping]
209
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,649
ALASKA: Hey, Hyde.
How's it hanging?
210
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,570
HYDE: Just enjoying
some fresh air.
211
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:49,990
And quiet.
212
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:54,078
‐ Yeah, well, this wasn't
my first choice either,
213
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:57,655
but I'm afraid
you're all I have left.
214
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,252
Finally, the kids
at this school
215
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,747
can agree on something.
216
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:02,880
They all hate me.
217
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,496
‐ Nice to know
I represent rock bottom.
218
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,337
‐ I fucked up.
219
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,563
Like I always do.
220
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,138
So...
221
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,982
now I'm all alone.
222
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,231
In hell.
223
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,612
So...
224
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,450
can I please
just sit here with you
225
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,985
and not be alone...
226
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,779
for as long as it takes
to finish my sandwich?
227
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:46,038
‐ Do you know why I'm drawn
to Buddhism, Ms. Young?
228
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,964
‐ Mm‐mm.
229
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,512
‐ They don't believe in hell.
230
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,717
Or heaven, for that matter.
231
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,388
People don't have
eternal souls.
232
00:09:57,388 --> 00:10:00,678
Instead, they are
a bundle of energy
233
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,853
reincarnating endlessly
234
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,193
until it eventually reaches...
235
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,280
enlightenment.
236
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,145
♪ ♪
237
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:14,452
Meaning, as painful as this is,
238
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,077
it will change.
239
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:24,075
♪ ♪
240
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,887
‐ I fucking love you, Hyde.
241
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,885
[hopeful music]
242
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:45,898
♪ ♪
243
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:58,027
[sighs]
All right, Melville,
244
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,992
let's finally do this shit.
245
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:07,964
♪ ♪
246
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,734
‐ Stop staring.
247
00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,059
COLONEL:
Don't flatter yourself.
248
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,523
Your snoring is keeping me up.
249
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,943
MILES: I'm not snoring,
I'm reading.
250
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,072
Did you know
that during World War II,
251
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,649
Romania fought for both sides‐‐
252
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,994
‐ Fine, it's your breathing.
‐ I'm barely breathing.
253
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,830
MILES: Exactly, I keep feeling
compelled to check
254
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,156
and make sure
you're still alive.
255
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:46,371
It's very disconcerting.
256
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,292
‐ Are you sure that this
concern for my wellbeing
257
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,042
doesn't have to do
with anything else?
258
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,504
‐ Like what?
259
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,713
‐ Like guilt?
260
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,474
Knowing the Weekday Warriors
are planning to do something
261
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,387
and not doing
anything about it‐‐
262
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,345
‐ What is there to do?
263
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,886
I mean, you said it
yourself, Pudge.
264
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,849
Alaska Young is fully capable
of taking care of herself.
265
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,190
Plus, she started all this,
266
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:10,355
so whatever happens,
it's on her.
267
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,864
You know what,
I'm sick of arguing.
268
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,413
It's stuffy in here.
I need some air.
269
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:24,407
[shoes scuffing]
270
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,410
[gloomy music]
271
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:34,383
♪ ♪
272
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,129
[insects chirping]
273
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:41,181
♪ ♪
274
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,677
[owl hooting]
275
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:51,691
♪ ♪
276
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:59,858
[scraping]
277
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:06,872
♪ ♪
278
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,635
[alarm beeping]
279
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,888
[water trickling]
280
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,230
[alarm stops]
281
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,645
[melancholy music]
282
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:39,488
♪ ♪
283
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,525
‐ [gasps]
284
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,529
[breathing heavily]
285
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:47,242
♪ ♪
286
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,913
No, no, no, no!
287
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,752
♪ ♪
288
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,579
[gasps]
289
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,964
Not Márquez.
290
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,472
Motherfuckers!
291
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,465
[indistinct chatter]
292
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:10,478
♪ ♪
293
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,559
COLONEL: Alaska?
294
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,324
Move!
295
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:20,356
Pudge.
Man, relax.
296
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,150
Ain't nobody trying
to look at your little wiener.
297
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,283
It's about Alaska.
298
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,609
You ain't gon' believe
what they did.
299
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,824
‐ I told you,
I don't want to know.
300
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,993
‐ It's bad.
It's worse than I ever seen.
301
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,742
[water splashing]
302
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,214
[curtain rings jingle]
303
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,075
This is too damn far.
304
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,172
[door creaks]
305
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,588
What'd I tell you?
306
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,506
Her Life's Library.
307
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,585
We can't let this shit
go unavenged.
308
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,181
TAKUMI: If we do this,
309
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:48,386
we're letting her off the hook
for all of it.
310
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,058
‐ We don't have a choice.
311
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,886
Weekday Warriors
made sure of that.
312
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,141
Right, Pudge?
313
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,403
♪ ♪
314
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,316
‐ This is awful...
315
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,145
♪ ♪
316
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,320
But I didn't cause it,
317
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,198
and so I can't be a part
of fixing it.
318
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,065
Sorry.
319
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,742
COLONEL: Man, screw him.
320
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,700
We got all the firepower
we need right here.
321
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,200
TAKUMI: That's right,
the OG three.
322
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,713
Culver Creek's
original pranksters.
323
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:18,206
‐ We're about to pull off
the most epic prank
324
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:21,999
the Creek has ever seen.
325
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,884
‐ What did you have in mind?
326
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,051
SINGER: ♪ We get high
in back seats ♪
327
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,719
COLONEL: So we flash
a flashlight...
328
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,047
[inaudible chatter]
329
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,892
SINGER: ♪
♪ We break into mobile homes ♪
330
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,467
♪ We go to sleep
to "Shake Appeal" ♪
331
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,893
♪ Never wake up on our own ♪
332
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,063
♪ That's the way
we get by ♪
333
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:40,151
[swan honking]
334
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,358
♪ All that's the way
we get by ♪
335
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,938
♪ To way we get by ♪
336
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:50,744
♪ ♪
337
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,291
[curtain slides]
338
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,325
♪ We go out in stormy weather ♪
339
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,539
♪ We rarely practice discern ♪
340
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,671
♪ We make love
to "Some Weird Sin" ♪
341
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:04,379
♪ We seek out the taciturn ♪
342
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,720
♪ That's the way we get by ♪
343
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,966
♪ To way we get by ♪
344
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:15,978
♪ ♪
345
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:22,685
MILES: I know you're stressed
about midterms.
346
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,320
Maybe this will help you.
347
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,488
It's the Miles Halter
Study Guide Starter Pack.
348
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,818
Still working on the branding.
349
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,742
It's got sharpened pencils,
350
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,411
No Doz, study snacks.
351
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:41,420
♪ ♪
352
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:09,402
SINGER: ♪ And that's the way
we get by ♪
353
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,743
♪ That's the way we get by ♪
354
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:16,199
♪ ♪
355
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,746
MILES: Hi.
356
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:27,593
[indistinct chatter]
357
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,968
‐ Uh, hi.
358
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,312
Well, if that's it‐‐
359
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,175
‐ No, wait, um...
360
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,023
I had this whole plan.
361
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:45,568
I was gonna cook you
a romantic Romanian meal.
362
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,985
Um, I even did some research
as to what that would entail.
363
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:54,156
Apparently that would entail
an oven, which I do not have,
364
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:56,826
so I went to Maureen
in the cafeteria
365
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,326
to see if she would
maybe help me out
366
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,618
but she just laughed
in my face.
367
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,712
But she did give me
something much better
368
00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:08,339
than Romanian cooking lessons.
369
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:13,134
‐ [laughs]
But it's not bufriedo day.
370
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:16,354
‐ You might wanna look
a little, uh, closer
at the wrapper.
371
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,345
[sweet music]
372
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:23,978
♪ ♪
373
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,728
‐ How could I say no?
374
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:27,820
‐ Okay.
‐ [laughs]
375
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,485
MILES: Okay, great.
I'll see you at the dance.
376
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,775
‐ Hello, Mr. Starnes.
‐ Oh, good afternoon.
377
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,949
COLONEL: Just here to sign out
for a couple days.
378
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,158
Taking these rascals
home with me
379
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:38,408
to the trailer park
this weekend.
380
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:39,739
‐ Oh, that so?
381
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,664
‐ Yeah, Takumi here
just felt left out
382
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,542
when he heard about
Dolores' homemade pies
383
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,579
over Thanksgiving.
384
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,332
‐ Well, that makes two of us.
385
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,094
I just need to call your mother
386
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,545
and make sure she knows
you're on your way.
387
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,005
‐ Yeah, yeah, of course.
388
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,625
Sure.
389
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,467
It's like he barely lives here.
390
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,511
TAKUMI: Apparentlyhis wife left him.
391
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,184
She's just waiting for him
to sign the divorce papers.
392
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,024
I have very good
sourcing on this.
393
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:06,769
‐ Poor man.
394
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,811
I just hope my mom plays along.
395
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,984
[phone ringing]
396
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,113
‐ [sighs]
397
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,571
Hello?
EAGLE: Hello, Mrs. Martin?
398
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,082
This is Dean Starnes calling.
399
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:21,695
‐ Okay, so what did he do now?
400
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,662
‐ Oh, no, ma'am.
No, Chip's not in any trouble.
401
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,044
Well, yet.
402
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,290
Uh, he tells me he's spending
the weekend at home
403
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,592
and bringing Mr. Hikohito
and Ms. Young with him.
404
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,796
DOLORES: Alaska?
Oh, that's just wonderful.
405
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,297
‐ Is it?
You sound surprised.
406
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,299
DOLORES: That son of mine,
he listens to his mama
407
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,471
more than he lets on.
408
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,099
Tell him that
dinner is in the oven
409
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,636
and I'll be expecting them.
410
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:42,929
EAGLE: Okay, thanks.
[phone beeps]
411
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,732
Lovely woman, your mother.
[laughs]
412
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,635
Although, it's too bad
you'll be missing the dance.
413
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,024
Uh, I for one have been
dusting off
414
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,361
some of my classic moves.
415
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,646
‐ You never go to the dances.
‐ Uh, no, true.
416
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:56,361
Uh, historically,
I have avoided
school social functions,
417
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:58,612
but I find myself with an
excess of free time these days
418
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,624
and, uh, I actually found
the perfect tie
419
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:03,406
when I was clearing out, um...
420
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,995
[birds chirping]
421
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,246
Well...
422
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,172
just in time
to shake things up.
423
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,670
[laughs]
424
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,052
COLONEL: I knew my moms
would come through.
425
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,378
Just hope she forgives me
when she finds out the truth.
426
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,304
TAKUMI: Which is why
you need to call her.
427
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,432
‐ Yes‐‐or you could.
428
00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,100
Women find you irresistible.
429
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,848
‐ Or we actually spend
the weekend at your mom's,
430
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,810
because from where
I'm standing,
this plan's a bust.
431
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:29,770
‐ Wait, wait, wait.
Wait. Wait. What do you mean?
432
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,020
‐ Did you not hear the man?
433
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,481
The Eagle is gonna be
at the dance,
434
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:36,071
and that was not
a part of the plan.
435
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,318
‐ Maybe this is
actually better.
436
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,110
I mean, everybody we need
to be worried about
437
00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:42,074
will be under
one sad disco ball.
438
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,874
Could make things easier
for our lookout.
439
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:46,748
‐ We have a lookout?
440
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,616
‐ No.
441
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,252
No way.
442
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,959
Do you not see this ridiculous,
itchy sweater that I'm wearing?
443
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,511
‐ I literally couldn't
ignore it if I wanted to.
444
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,545
And trust me, Pudge,
I want to.
445
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:01,470
But what I'm about to ask you
is important.
446
00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,429
‐ Yeah, so is my date
with Lara.
447
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:06,309
‐ I know.
You're completely over Alaska.
448
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,187
I'm almost buying it, but what
I'm about to ask of you
449
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,725
will not interfere
with your date.
450
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,438
If the Eagle, Longwell,
or Kevin leave the dance,
451
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,229
I just need you
to flash this little guy
452
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,152
into the computer lab twice.
453
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,861
Takumi will take it from there.
454
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:21,071
It's as simple as clicking
the on and off button.
455
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,411
‐ Yeah, you say that now,
456
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,026
but I know it's not gonna be
that simple‐‐
457
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:26,873
‐ Pudge, you're not
doing this for Alaska.
458
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,459
You wouldn't be saving her ass,
you'd be saving mine.
459
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:30,655
I'm doing this.
460
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,964
You know what I have
on the line
461
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,457
if this shit goes sideways.
462
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,460
[mellow music]
463
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,173
♪ ♪
464
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,934
‐ Fine.
465
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:43,676
For you.
466
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,547
But don't tell Lara.
467
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,014
[button clicks]
468
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,265
CLARKSON: ♪ Here's the thing,
we started off friends ♪
469
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,861
♪ It was cool
but it was all pretend ♪
470
00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:01,528
♪ Yeah, yeah,
since you've been gone ♪
471
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,699
[indistinct chatter]
472
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,078
‐ Lee, I don't think
I've seen you at a dance
473
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:09,946
in all the years
I've worked here.
474
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,964
‐ Uh, to be honest, Brigid,
475
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:14,326
the thought of spending
another Friday night
in front of the Ghost Whisperer
476
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,543
made me want to put
a gun to my head.
477
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:18,634
[both laugh]
478
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:20,049
MILES: For you, Lara.
479
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,677
SARA: How many cookies
do you think Lara's gonna eat?
480
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,755
‐ Oh, I just wanted
an assortment.
481
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,100
[chuckles]
Choices.
482
00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,017
Maybe later
we could play a game
483
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,225
and see how many cookies
we can eat at once.
484
00:22:32,226 --> 00:22:33,556
‐ Sounds hot.
485
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:36,401
‐ Uh‐‐um, thank you.
486
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:38,767
CLARKSON: ♪ I'm so moving on ♪
487
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,324
‐ Yeah, I should
probably get back.
488
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,448
‐ You and Longwell.
489
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:46,655
‐ Yeah, what about it?
490
00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,987
‐ It's just hard
imagining anyone measuring up
491
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,873
to the Colonel.
492
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:54,040
‐ You can tell your roommate
that I found someone
493
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,789
who doesn't feel the need
to punch the world
in the face, so.
494
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,792
♪ ♪
495
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:01,924
Bye.
496
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:05,802
[indistinct chatter]
497
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:07,931
‐ Would you like to dance?
498
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:09,138
‐ I probably
should have said this
499
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:10,758
before I spent the entire week
500
00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:12,934
trying to get you to go
to this thing with me,
501
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:16,273
but, um...
502
00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:20,860
I don't‐‐I don't dance.
[laughs awkwardly]
503
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:23,608
‐ Oh, uh...
504
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,781
okay.
505
00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:27,359
CLARKSON: ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
506
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,834
[keys jingling]
507
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,995
[door closes]
508
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,116
[hard drive whirs]
509
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:36,462
[keys tapping]
510
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:39,626
[mouse clicks]
511
00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:41,837
[keys tapping]
512
00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:42,917
‐ [laughs]
513
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,382
‐ Gotta admit,
you pretty clever‐‐
514
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,722
for a rat.
515
00:23:47,718 --> 00:23:51,178
‐ We are the most intelligent
of the rodents.
516
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:54,180
[funky pop music]
517
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:56,603
♪ ♪
518
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:58,482
[keys tapping]
519
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:01,649
RAPPER: ♪ She like my
Dolce & Gabanna ♪
520
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,819
[inaudible dialogue]
521
00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:05,237
♪ I'm so cold ♪
522
00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:08,565
‐ [giggles]
523
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,282
‐ [muffled]
Mm, very good.
524
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:14,122
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ That's very impressive.
525
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,209
Six, okay?
You ready?
526
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,826
♪ ♪
527
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,383
Oh, no.
‐ Hmm?
528
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:25,588
[unintelligible dialogue]
529
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,759
[singer rapping indistinctly]
530
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,298
EAGLE: I‐‐I have a request.
531
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,932
♪ ♪
532
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,849
LARA: Why were you running?
533
00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:36,057
‐ Oh, um...
534
00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:38,978
I was just, um‐‐
I wanted to request a song.
535
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:42,898
Oh, but then I‐‐I remembered
that I don't dance.
536
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:45,228
Um, can I have some
of that water?
537
00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,864
LARA: Mm‐hmm.
Yeah, okay.
538
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:48,820
‐ I have a reputation, sir.
I can't.
539
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:52,281
‐ Ms. Blowker, I don't want
to pull rank here, but I will.
540
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,242
I've made a request.
I'd like it honored.
541
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:55,873
Spin some wax.
542
00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:57,659
‐ Fine.
543
00:24:57,663 --> 00:25:00,623
[Los del Rio's
Macarena playing]
544
00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:02,884
‐ My request.
BRIGID: [laughs]
545
00:25:02,876 --> 00:25:05,746
[singer vocalizing]
546
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:12,554
♪ ♪
547
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:14,813
‐ Do you want to Macarena?
548
00:25:14,805 --> 00:25:16,555
It's a very simple dance.
549
00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:20,437
And then poor Madame O'Malley
doesn't have
to humiliate herself.
550
00:25:20,436 --> 00:25:23,436
‐ Um, yeah.
551
00:25:23,439 --> 00:25:25,269
‐ Okay!
‐ Okay, why not?
552
00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:27,784
SINGER: ♪ They all want me,
they can't have me ♪
553
00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:30,446
♪ So they all come
and dance beside me ♪
554
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:32,606
♪ Move with me,
chant with me ♪
555
00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,954
♪ And if you could
I'd take you home with me ♪
556
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:38,080
SINGER: [singing in Spanish]
557
00:25:38,078 --> 00:25:40,208
‐ You wanna get out of here?
558
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,245
[laughs]
Okay.
559
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:43,709
SINGER: ♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
ALL: ♪ Hey ♪
560
00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:46,669
SINGER: [singing in Spanish]
561
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:50,880
♪ ♪
562
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:53,513
♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
ALL: Hey!
563
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:55,430
‐ Um, Lara, I'll be right back.
564
00:25:55,429 --> 00:25:57,769
I promise you,
I'll be right back.
565
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,345
♪ ♪
566
00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,479
[keys tapping]
567
00:26:01,477 --> 00:26:04,397
[mouse clicking]
568
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:07,396
[muffled music continues]
569
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,359
♪ ♪
570
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,570
[mouse clicks]
571
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,281
♪ ♪
572
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,908
LONGWELL: Mm.
SARA: [laughs]
573
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:21,370
LONGWELL: Hey.
SARA: Hmm?
574
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:23,331
LONGWELL: Uh, let's go back
to my room.
575
00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:25,462
SARA: No, no,
I'm not getting caught
576
00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:28,419
like Paul and Marya.
577
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,800
I know a better place.
578
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:34,178
[both laugh]
579
00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:41,176
♪ ♪
580
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,902
SINGER: ♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
ALL: ♪ Hey! ♪
581
00:26:45,896 --> 00:26:48,896
SINGER: [singing in Spanish]
582
00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:52,739
♪ ♪
583
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:55,026
♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
ALL: ♪ Hey! ♪
584
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:57,910
MILES: There you are.
585
00:26:57,908 --> 00:27:00,788
‐ I'm not the one
who keeps running off.
586
00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:01,996
‐ I'm so sorry.
587
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,705
‐ Tell me the truth.
588
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,456
Did you really want
to bring me to this dance,
589
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:07,628
or is it just a cover
590
00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:11,086
for whatever prank
you are clearly doing?
591
00:27:11,088 --> 00:27:13,798
‐ I promise, Lara,
592
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:16,259
I really wanted to go with you
593
00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:18,220
and I'm having
such a great time.
594
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:22,140
I just told Takumi
that I'd help him
595
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:26,271
with this one little
recon mission, and I did.
596
00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:29,230
It's over...
597
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:31,691
and I'm really sorry.
598
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,612
SINGER: [singing in Spanish]
599
00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:36,780
‐ Next time, just tell me
the truth, okay?
600
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:39,780
[cheers and applause]
601
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:44,503
[Coldplay's Fix You
playing over speakers]
602
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:48,246
♪ ♪
603
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,540
‐ I think I can
handle this one.
604
00:27:50,544 --> 00:27:52,964
♪ ♪
605
00:27:52,963 --> 00:27:54,463
Please.
606
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:58,434
SINGER: ♪ Hi up above
or down below ♪
607
00:27:58,427 --> 00:28:01,257
♪ ♪
608
00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,523
♪ When you're too in love
to let it go ♪
609
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,135
‐ Come with me.
‐ [giggles]
610
00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:07,853
♪ ♪
611
00:28:07,853 --> 00:28:11,773
SINGER: ♪ But if you never try,
you'll never know ♪
612
00:28:11,773 --> 00:28:13,983
‐ [laughs]
613
00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:15,824
‐ Am I doing this right?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
614
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,409
‐ Okay.
‐ Perfect.
615
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:24,365
♪ ♪
616
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:31,169
SINGER: ♪ Lights will
guide you home ♪
617
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:33,628
♪ And ignite ♪
618
00:28:33,629 --> 00:28:36,509
LARA: [giggles]
‐ Wow.
619
00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:38,216
Sorry.
LARA: [laughs]
620
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:40,387
You're actually
a very good dancer.
621
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,175
‐ Yeah?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
622
00:28:42,179 --> 00:28:44,389
‐ Cool.
623
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:47,059
The only other person
I've ever slow‐danced with
624
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:49,229
was, um, my grandma,
625
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:53,228
and even she said
I was no Fred Astaire.
626
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:56,742
‐ [laughs]
627
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:59,945
[inaudible dialogue]
628
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:03,617
‐ We seem to be down
Mr. Chase and Ms. Harbart.
629
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:06,117
‐ Let them have their fun, hmm?
630
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,909
♪ ♪
631
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,543
‐ Okay, okay.
632
00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:14,590
♪ ♪
633
00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,546
It's just...
634
00:29:16,546 --> 00:29:18,166
Brigid, I've gone
two years in this job
635
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:19,383
without a teen pregnancy,
636
00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,473
and it's not because
I let the kids have fun.
637
00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:24,428
It's because I practice
eagle‐eyed vigilance.
638
00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:26,889
‐ Uh...
[stammers]
639
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:30,810
♪ ♪
640
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:33,151
‐ You smell nice.
641
00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:34,726
♪ ♪
642
00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:36,571
‐ Yeah.
643
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:39,776
You, too.
644
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:42,908
SINGER: ♪ Tears stream ♪
645
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:46,156
♪ Down your face ♪
646
00:29:46,159 --> 00:29:47,999
♪ When you lose something ♪
647
00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:50,655
‐ Shit, um, come with me.
648
00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:52,174
Please.
649
00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:55,785
This way.
‐ [exclaims]
650
00:29:55,794 --> 00:29:58,764
[muffled music continues]
651
00:29:58,755 --> 00:30:01,045
Can we go back
to the dance now?
652
00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:03,219
MILES: Um...
653
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,258
[insects chirping]
654
00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:07,012
We have to go
to Longwell's room.
655
00:30:07,014 --> 00:30:08,224
I'll explain on the way.
656
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:11,443
‐ Uh‐‐
‐ I promise.
657
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:14,435
[insects chirping]
658
00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:20,357
EAGLE: In my experience,
they usually try to go
to the girls' dorm first.
659
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,990
BRIGID: Oh, could‐‐could you
slow down just a little?
660
00:30:22,988 --> 00:30:24,988
These shoes are a bit hard
to walk in.
661
00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:26,330
EAGLE: Oh, yeah.
Sorry, sorry.
662
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,155
Well, I mean,
they are teenagers, Brigid,
663
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:29,750
so we don't have a lot of time.
664
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,285
Come on, uh, Sara's dorm
is right down here.
665
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:34,919
‐ "One challenge I had
was during a debutante ball.
666
00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:38,336
"I was about to escort my date
to the dance floor
667
00:30:38,337 --> 00:30:41,127
"when I heard a gurgle emanate
from my belly.
668
00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:44,721
"I thought it was indigestion
from too many protein shakes,
669
00:30:44,718 --> 00:30:46,638
"but it was not.
670
00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:48,256
"It was diarrhea.
671
00:30:48,263 --> 00:30:51,563
‐ Okay, I learned that, A,
humans have the capacity
672
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:53,848
to make much more diarrhea
than you think,
673
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:56,482
B, diarrhea stains permanently,
674
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,610
and C, diarrhea has
a silent "h."
675
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:03,148
‐ "This is why I believe
Dookie University"...
676
00:31:03,153 --> 00:31:04,613
‐ "Dookie."
677
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:07,323
‐ "Would be the perfect fit
for me and my large colon."
678
00:31:07,324 --> 00:31:08,584
‐ That's brilliant.
679
00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:11,365
[door crashes]
680
00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:12,790
What you doing here?
681
00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,458
‐ Our lookout sent me
on a decoy mission
682
00:31:14,456 --> 00:31:16,206
but Longwell and Sara
weren't headed
to the dorms after all,
683
00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:17,878
so I thought I'd stop by
and see how things are going.
684
00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,206
‐ Sara?
Where'd she go?
685
00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:21,211
TAKUMI: The woods.
‐ Like the old campfire spot?
686
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:22,673
TAKUMI: I don't know, maybe.
687
00:31:22,672 --> 00:31:25,932
‐ Dude, that is Colonel
and Sara's preferred location
688
00:31:25,926 --> 00:31:28,966
for illicit activities
of a sexual nature.
689
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:30,640
‐ Oh, shit.
690
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:32,559
‐ That's our fucking
spot, literally.
691
00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:34,767
Takumi, take over the essay.
‐ No, no, he needs to go back.
692
00:31:34,768 --> 00:31:37,478
TAKUMI: This isn't the plan.
‐ That's our spot!
693
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:40,519
‐ Chip can be a real romantic
when he wants to be.
694
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:47,951
MILES: Where's he going?
‐ Um...
695
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:50,198
Ignore him, no time.
696
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:54,445
MILES: Eagle...
[panting]
697
00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:56,424
Eagle.
‐ Breathe, Pudge, breathe.
698
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:57,785
‐ The Eagle is on his way.
699
00:31:57,791 --> 00:31:59,711
He is in Sara's room,
but then he is coming here.
700
00:31:59,709 --> 00:32:01,749
ALASKA: The application doesn't
allow us to hit send
until it's fully finished,
701
00:32:01,753 --> 00:32:04,173
and we still have
two more essay questions.
702
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:05,342
TAKUMI: You know
that sign that says,
703
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:07,970
"Break glass
in case of emergency"?
704
00:32:07,968 --> 00:32:10,598
I'm that glass,
but I require assistance.
705
00:32:10,595 --> 00:32:12,755
Miles?
706
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:15,814
‐ Fine.
‐ Thanks, Pudge.
707
00:32:15,809 --> 00:32:17,689
TAKUMI: All right,
first thing's first.
708
00:32:17,686 --> 00:32:20,186
Pudge, lose that sweater.
It's not stealthy.
709
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:22,358
We'll divert the Eagle
while you two write.
710
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,107
Rendezvous at the barn
when we're done.
711
00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:25,609
‐ Oh, lock the door.
712
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,110
BRIGID: Maybe they went back
to the dance.
713
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:28,782
‐ I appreciate
that optimism, Brigid,
714
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:30,160
but I could smell
the pheromones
715
00:32:30,157 --> 00:32:31,867
coming off those two
at the gym.
716
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:33,117
We gotta go
to Longwell's room.
717
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,448
‐ You know, I think
I'll just head back.
718
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,294
‐ Oh, damn it.
719
00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:38,619
I'm doing it again.
720
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,173
I'm putting the job
before everything else.
721
00:32:40,167 --> 00:32:41,417
This is exactly
what Lois accused me of.
722
00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:42,958
BRIGID: Hey, no.
723
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,551
I meant because someone needs
to chaperone the dance.
724
00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:47,467
‐ Oh, yeah.
725
00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:50,296
No, of course.
Right, yeah.
726
00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:53,102
‐ Uh, thank you.
727
00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:55,466
You know, for my Macarena.
728
00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,314
‐ Yeah.
729
00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:59,059
Yeah, no, you're welcome.
730
00:32:59,060 --> 00:33:01,060
BOTH: Yeah.
731
00:33:01,062 --> 00:33:04,072
[ Macarena resumes]
732
00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:11,065
♪ ♪
733
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:13,663
[both panting]
734
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:16,288
SINGER: ♪ When I dance
they call me Macarena ♪
735
00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:18,826
♪ And the boys say ♪
[speaking Spanish]
736
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:20,330
♪ They all want me ♪
737
00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:21,832
MILES: What are you doing?
738
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:24,883
‐ I was a goddamn Boy Scout,
Pudge, so I'm always prepared.
739
00:33:24,878 --> 00:33:28,048
MILES: What the hell is that?
‐ It's my fox hat.
740
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:29,468
‐ Why are you wearing
your fox hat?
741
00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:32,296
‐ 'Cause no one can catch
the motherfucking fox.
742
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:34,682
Light it.
743
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:37,599
SINGER: ♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
744
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:40,809
‐ Now, run!
745
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:44,520
EAGLE: Mr. Chase, Ms. Harbart.
746
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,153
I'm coming in.
747
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:49,149
[keys jingling]
748
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:53,699
♪ ♪
749
00:33:53,698 --> 00:33:54,868
[fireworks booming]
750
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:57,236
What the hell?
751
00:33:57,244 --> 00:34:00,504
♪ ♪
752
00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:03,287
SINGER: [singing in Spanish]
753
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:08,211
♪ ♪
754
00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:10,673
♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
755
00:34:10,674 --> 00:34:12,344
[singing in Spanish]
756
00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:14,842
EAGLE: Stop, I will
call the police!
757
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:18,854
TAKUMI: He's bluffing.
He's scared of bad publicity.
758
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:21,768
SINGER: ♪ Hey, Macarena ♪
759
00:34:21,768 --> 00:34:25,058
[fireworks crackling]
760
00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:26,443
‐ Done!
761
00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:29,029
It is a literary masterpiece.
Forgive my bragging.
762
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:30,565
A sympathetic portrait
763
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:33,529
of living with
irritable bowel syndrome.
764
00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:36,870
LARA: I have one more,
but I'm stuck.
765
00:34:36,866 --> 00:34:38,286
‐ Hit me, sister.
766
00:34:38,285 --> 00:34:40,535
‐ "Who is your role model
and why?"
767
00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:42,907
‐ "Tom Cruise."
‐ Okay.
768
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:46,084
"He never ages,
he has a great run,
769
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,174
and he probably
never gets diarrhea."
770
00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:52,169
‐ "He never gets diarrhea."
771
00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:53,973
ALASKA: Yes, we did it!
LARA: Oh, success.
772
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:56,427
ALASKA: Now hit send and let's
get the hell out of here.
773
00:34:59,264 --> 00:35:00,724
How was the dance?
774
00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:02,814
Was it all ugly sweaters
and warm punch?
775
00:35:02,809 --> 00:35:04,769
‐ Uh, it was lame,
776
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,729
but we were having
a really good time.
777
00:35:06,730 --> 00:35:10,530
Um, I like Miles,
and I think he likes me.
778
00:35:12,152 --> 00:35:14,322
I am good for him.
779
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,407
ALASKA: Come on,
I'll buy you a drink.
780
00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:24,250
MILES: I think we lost him.
Oh, we're back at the lake.
781
00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:27,287
TAKUMI: Slight error
in navigation, but no biggie.
782
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,792
We'll just get
to the barn lakeside.
783
00:35:29,794 --> 00:35:32,674
MILES: All right.
784
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:35,682
[ominous music]
785
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:38,005
♪ ♪
786
00:35:38,011 --> 00:35:40,761
[swan honking]
787
00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:42,894
♪ ♪
788
00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:44,681
TAKUMI: The fox is not a fan
of the swan.
789
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:46,354
Come on!
Run, Pudge!
790
00:35:46,353 --> 00:35:48,153
Run for your life!
791
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,066
[swan honking]
[Miles screaming]
792
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,196
COLONEL: So I creepinto the woodsand I hear them arguing,
793
00:35:56,196 --> 00:35:57,656
so I start
waving my flashlight around
794
00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:59,446
and start clearing my throat
like I'm the Eagle,
795
00:35:59,449 --> 00:36:01,619
and then I hear them,
like, whisper‐arguing.
796
00:36:01,618 --> 00:36:04,158
Then, all of a sudden,
Longwell takes off
797
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,372
with his fucking pants
around his ankles.
798
00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:08,123
‐ He just left Sara behind?
799
00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:11,004
COLONEL: Yeah, she had
to walk all the way back
to the dance by herself.
800
00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:13,342
If Longwell was scared
of the Eagle,
801
00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:15,088
just wait till
Sara get through with him.
802
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:17,680
I just I hope I didn't ruin
my own brilliant plan.
803
00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:20,796
‐ Oh, no, Operation
Tell Duke About the Dookie
804
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,394
was perfectly executed.
805
00:36:22,389 --> 00:36:25,929
Lara, an essay‐writing machine,
Takumi, a diversionary genius.
806
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:28,064
Did you hear those fireworks?
TAKUMI: Casualty!
807
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:29,441
MILES: [hollers]
TAKUMI: We have a casualty!
808
00:36:29,437 --> 00:36:31,107
MILES: [groaning]
‐ What happened?
809
00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:33,146
TAKUMI: Our hero's
left butt cheek
was dinner for the swan.
810
00:36:33,149 --> 00:36:35,319
COLONEL: And there ain't much
meat on that scrawny thing.
811
00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:37,278
LARA: Miles might get
an infection or‐‐or rabies.
812
00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:38,738
Do swans carry rabies?
813
00:36:38,738 --> 00:36:41,028
COLONEL: No, but he could
get the bird flu, though.
814
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:43,792
‐ Don't worry, the fox has
a first aid kit.
815
00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:45,905
‐ Wait, don't you think
we should get a‐‐
a medical professional
816
00:36:45,912 --> 00:36:48,502
in case of the rabies
or potential bird flu?
817
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:50,248
‐ Pudge, if you go
to the hospital,
we all get busted,
818
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:53,040
so quit being a baby,
pull down your pants,
and let me wipe your ass.
819
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:54,214
‐ Yeah.
820
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,302
TAKUMI: All right,
now the antiseptic.
821
00:36:55,296 --> 00:36:56,836
Here it comes.
It may sting.
822
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,970
‐ [screams]
COLONEL: Aww, man!
823
00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:00,837
LARA: Does it need stitches?
I can sew.
824
00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:03,394
Well, crochet.
‐ Wait, my ass is not a quilt.
825
00:37:03,388 --> 00:37:06,018
TAKUMI: I don't think so,
but it does look gross.
826
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:09,055
‐ No, Lara, don't look!
That's not date appropriate!
827
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:10,940
LARA: Sorry, I did not
see anything, Miles.
828
00:37:10,937 --> 00:37:13,397
ALASKA: Anesthesia.
I have anesthesia.
829
00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:14,818
There we go, Pudge.
830
00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:18,026
Nothing a little
Strawberry Hill can't fix.
831
00:37:18,027 --> 00:37:20,237
‐ [groans]
832
00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:21,778
[ambient music]
833
00:37:21,781 --> 00:37:24,281
I knew that was good
for something.
834
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:27,004
♪ ♪
835
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,495
Um...
836
00:37:28,496 --> 00:37:29,826
‐ Squeeze my hand, hmm?
837
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:33,081
Squeeze my hand
until the stinging stops.
838
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:35,714
MILES: Man, that swan
was really no joke.
839
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:37,882
[coin clinks]
840
00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:40,261
LARA: [laughs]
841
00:37:40,258 --> 00:37:42,968
LARA: Well, at least
you are not concussed.
842
00:37:42,969 --> 00:37:44,969
MILES: Oh, yeah.
No, it's okay.
843
00:37:44,971 --> 00:37:47,811
[coin clinks]
844
00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:49,887
[indistinct chatter]
845
00:37:49,893 --> 00:37:52,773
LARA: I thought I could
take you to the hospital, but‐‐
846
00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:55,401
‐ [clears throat]
Attention.
847
00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:59,818
[clears throat]
We are gonna play a game.
848
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,359
It is called
"Best Day/Worst Day."
849
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:04,413
‐ I ain't ever heard
of no game like that before.
850
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:06,577
‐ That's because
I just made it up.
851
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,286
The rules are simple:
everyone tells their story.
852
00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:11,457
Whoever has the best one
doesn't have to drink,
853
00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:13,876
then we keep going
until one of y'all quits.
854
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,205
TAKUMI: Well, how do you know
it's gonna be one of us?
855
00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:18,460
‐ Well, I'm the best drinker
and the best storyteller.
856
00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:23,836
Pudge.
857
00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:25,303
You may begin.
858
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,813
‐ Um...
859
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:30,136
can I have a second to think?
860
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:33,391
‐ Can't be that good
if you gotta think about it.
861
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:34,694
[lighter flicks]
862
00:38:34,687 --> 00:38:36,727
‐ Today's my best day.
TAKUMI: Come on, man.
863
00:38:36,731 --> 00:38:38,401
‐ No, seriously.
864
00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:41,029
Seriously.
865
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:43,317
I...
866
00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:46,031
went on a date with
a pretty Romanian girl.
867
00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:49,872
I watched the Eagle
do the Macarena,
868
00:38:49,869 --> 00:38:51,619
I shot off fireworks,
869
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:55,331
and I was almost eaten alive
by a feral swan.
870
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:58,633
But now I'm here...
871
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,257
With all of you.
872
00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:06,718
It feels pretty magical.
873
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,259
‐ [laughs]
That is so corny.
874
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:12,354
‐ Yeah, it is corny
and my butt is bleeding
875
00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:14,640
and I probably have
the bird flu,
876
00:39:14,644 --> 00:39:18,444
but today is my best day.
877
00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:20,819
‐ My best day...
878
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:22,607
I was eight years old.
879
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,650
My mom and I went to the zoo.
880
00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:27,954
I liked the giraffes
and she liked the gorillas.
881
00:39:30,034 --> 00:39:33,164
End of story.
Best day ever.
882
00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:35,122
‐ What?
That is so lame.
883
00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:36,173
‐ What's wrong with that?
884
00:39:36,165 --> 00:39:37,325
Yes.
LARA: I liked it.
885
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:39,093
‐ Which is why
you get to go next.
886
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:42,625
‐ Okay, um...
887
00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:45,220
my best day
is the day I won
888
00:39:45,216 --> 00:39:48,596
the sixth grade spelling bee.
[laughs]
889
00:39:48,595 --> 00:39:50,635
We had just moved here
890
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:54,058
and my parents
barely spoke English
891
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:55,848
but they helped me practice.
892
00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:59,652
And then when I won
it was like...
893
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,107
the biggest deal.
894
00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:04,107
They stood up
and clapped so loud.
895
00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:05,900
And I loved that feeling.
896
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:08,114
Embarrassed...
897
00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:11,784
But proud.
898
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:14,906
TAKUMI: All right, I lose.
899
00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:18,463
My best day
was when I lost my virginity.
900
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:19,708
Twice.
901
00:40:19,709 --> 00:40:21,169
And if you think
I'm gonna tell you that story,
902
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,709
you gotta get me a whole lot
drunker than this, suckers.
903
00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:26,173
[laughter]
904
00:40:26,174 --> 00:40:28,384
‐ Well...
905
00:40:28,384 --> 00:40:30,724
my best day
hasn't happened yet,
906
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:33,720
but I can see it.
907
00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:38,981
That's gonna be the day
I buy my mom a house.
908
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:40,858
A big fucking house
909
00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:42,435
right in the middle
of Mountain Brook
910
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,980
right next to the
Weekday Warriors' parents.
911
00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:48,824
I'll drive her there
and I'll hand her the keys...
912
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:53,414
Just like they do on TV.
913
00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:57,039
I'ma just be like...
914
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:59,078
"We home, Ma."
915
00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:07,377
Man, that'd be
the best day of my life.
916
00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:14,058
ALASKA: Okay, Colonel.
917
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:16,305
You won that round.
918
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:19,307
Now what's your worst day?
919
00:41:24,273 --> 00:41:27,443
‐ My worst day...
920
00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:30,283
was the day my dad left.
921
00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:32,529
I just...
922
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:37,581
Kept waiting for him to call
and explain it.
923
00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:42,666
But he never did.
924
00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:46,710
I don't know, I...
925
00:41:46,713 --> 00:41:49,763
thought he might have wanted
to say good‐bye.
926
00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:02,017
‐ Well, uh, you got me beat.
927
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:06,570
I was 11‐‐mm...
928
00:42:06,566 --> 00:42:09,606
and my mom made me sign up
for a soccer team,
929
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:12,160
but I sucked.
930
00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:14,025
Like, I was really bad.
931
00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:16,202
I was always riding the bench.
932
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,200
But then, this one game,
933
00:42:18,202 --> 00:42:20,792
the coach put me in
for some reason
934
00:42:20,788 --> 00:42:24,458
and I was so excited.
[laughs]
935
00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:27,839
But I‐‐I didn't realize
that, um...
936
00:42:27,837 --> 00:42:30,257
we switched sides
at‐‐at halftime.
937
00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:31,876
[all laugh]
938
00:42:31,883 --> 00:42:34,053
TAKUMI: Shit, Pudge,
you scored for the wrong team.
939
00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:35,682
‐ Yeah.
TAKUMI: [laughs]
940
00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:39,308
MILES: The worst part
was, uh, the bus ride home.
941
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:42,517
[laughs]
Sitting with all these kids
942
00:42:42,518 --> 00:42:44,228
who hated me.
943
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:46,188
‐ So glad you were able
to put your life back together.
944
00:42:46,189 --> 00:42:49,689
[all laugh]
945
00:42:49,692 --> 00:42:54,202
Uh, my worst day is, uh,
June 9, 1999.
946
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:59,290
My grandmother died
in a car accident in Japan.
947
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:01,155
I was supposed to visit her
two days later,
948
00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:03,832
spend the whole summer
with her.
949
00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:05,331
The only time
I ever got to see her
950
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,543
was before she was cremated.
951
00:43:07,543 --> 00:43:09,213
COLONEL: Damn.
952
00:43:09,212 --> 00:43:12,762
We are a sad group of friends.
953
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,547
Minus you, Pudge.
954
00:43:14,550 --> 00:43:16,680
‐ Thanks.
955
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,387
‐ Lara?
956
00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:21,017
‐ Um...
957
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:27,808
My worst day
is the day we left Romania.
958
00:43:27,814 --> 00:43:31,154
It wasn't until the day before
that my parents told me
959
00:43:31,150 --> 00:43:34,570
I wasn't allowed
to bring Rukmina, my dog.
960
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,620
For six years she had been
my best friend
961
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:43,247
and I had to leave her
with strangers.
962
00:43:44,997 --> 00:43:47,627
‐ Fucking dog stories.
TAKUMI: [laughs]
963
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,705
COLONEL: They get me
every time.
964
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:52,670
LARA: [laughs]
COLONEL: Oh.
965
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:54,972
All right.
966
00:43:57,969 --> 00:44:00,849
It's your turn, buddy.
967
00:44:08,104 --> 00:44:11,074
‐ The day after
my mom took me to the zoo,
968
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:14,275
I was upstairs
doing my homework...
969
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:20,030
When I heard a scream
from the kitchen.
970
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:26,075
And I ran downstairs and...
971
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,830
saw my mom lying on the floor
holding her head, jerking.
972
00:44:33,045 --> 00:44:35,455
I freaked out.
973
00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:36,724
I should have called 911
974
00:44:36,716 --> 00:44:40,506
but all I did
was just scream and cry...
975
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,851
until she stopped jerking.
976
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:45,177
[solemn music]
977
00:44:45,183 --> 00:44:47,693
I thought she was just asleep.
978
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,435
♪ ♪
979
00:44:49,437 --> 00:44:52,977
And that...
980
00:44:52,982 --> 00:44:56,032
whatever had hurt her
didn't anymore,
981
00:44:56,027 --> 00:45:00,107
so I sat down next to her...
982
00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:03,164
until my dad came home
an hour later.
983
00:45:03,159 --> 00:45:06,079
And he started yelling at me,
"Why didn't you call 911?"
984
00:45:06,078 --> 00:45:08,998
And he tried to do CPR
but by then she was‐‐
985
00:45:08,998 --> 00:45:11,168
she was plenty dead.
986
00:45:11,167 --> 00:45:12,997
♪ ♪
987
00:45:13,002 --> 00:45:14,882
Aneurysm.
988
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:18,089
Worst day.
I won, you drink.
989
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:25,100
♪ ♪
990
00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:28,979
‐ Your dad blamed you?
‐ How could he not?
991
00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:30,976
TAKUMI: You were a kid.
‐ Kids can dial 911.
992
00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:32,768
They do it all the time.
993
00:45:32,772 --> 00:45:34,862
I just didn't.
994
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:37,937
♪ ♪
995
00:45:37,944 --> 00:45:41,414
‐ Why didn't you tell me?
996
00:45:41,405 --> 00:45:44,405
‐ It never came up.
997
00:45:44,408 --> 00:45:46,078
♪ ♪
998
00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:48,657
I need some air.
999
00:45:48,663 --> 00:45:51,293
[retreating footsteps]
1000
00:45:51,290 --> 00:45:56,170
♪ ♪
1001
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:59,050
‐ Someone should go
be with her.
1002
00:45:59,048 --> 00:46:04,348
♪ ♪
1003
00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:06,925
‐ [sniffles]
1004
00:46:06,931 --> 00:46:09,931
[approaching footsteps]
1005
00:46:09,934 --> 00:46:16,944
♪ ♪
1006
00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:21,743
‐ [sighs]
1007
00:46:21,737 --> 00:46:24,317
[sniffles]
1008
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:26,163
♪ ♪
1009
00:46:26,158 --> 00:46:29,658
[breathing shakily]
1010
00:46:29,662 --> 00:46:32,542
You wanted to know
why I ratted.
1011
00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:37,090
♪ ♪
1012
00:46:37,086 --> 00:46:39,586
And why I can't go home.
1013
00:46:39,588 --> 00:46:42,718
♪ ♪
1014
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:45,047
Well, now you know.
1015
00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:47,642
[sighs]
1016
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:49,558
♪ ♪
1017
00:46:49,557 --> 00:46:52,687
Because I fuck everything up.
1018
00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:56,145
‐ That's not true.
1019
00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:58,607
You were just a little kid.
1020
00:46:58,607 --> 00:47:00,317
♪ ♪
1021
00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:02,488
Nothing's your fault
when you're a little kid.
1022
00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:05,356
That's what it means
to be a kid.
1023
00:47:05,364 --> 00:47:07,034
‐ I was afraid
of what you'd think
1024
00:47:07,033 --> 00:47:10,043
when you knew the truth.
1025
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:12,576
Well, now you know.
1026
00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:17,290
♪ ♪
1027
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:20,133
You're still here.
1028
00:47:20,129 --> 00:47:24,379
♪ ♪
1029
00:47:24,383 --> 00:47:27,723
Why are you still here?
1030
00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:31,430
♪ ♪
1031
00:47:31,432 --> 00:47:33,852
‐ Because...
‐ [sniffles]
1032
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:39,401
♪ ♪
1033
00:47:39,398 --> 00:47:41,978
‐ I'm your friend.
1034
00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:44,994
♪ ♪
1035
00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:47,407
‐ Cool.
1036
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:50,276
"Friend."
1037
00:47:50,284 --> 00:47:55,004
♪ ♪
1038
00:47:54,997 --> 00:47:57,957
[The Bravery's
An Honest Mistake playing]
1039
00:47:57,958 --> 00:48:04,968
♪ ♪
1040
00:48:12,098 --> 00:48:15,138
SINGER: ♪ People ♪
1041
00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:19,022
♪ They don't mean
a thing to you ♪
1042
00:48:19,021 --> 00:48:23,231
♪ They move right through you ♪
1043
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:25,244
♪ Just like your breath ♪
1044
00:48:25,236 --> 00:48:29,156
[lantern squeaking]
1045
00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,696
♪ But sometimes ♪
1046
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:32,829
MILES: [sighs]
1047
00:48:32,827 --> 00:48:34,577
[grunts]
1048
00:48:34,578 --> 00:48:37,118
[sighs, laughs]
1049
00:48:37,123 --> 00:48:40,003
LARA: You came back.
‐ Yeah.
1050
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,960
Is that okay?
‐ Yeah, it's okay.
1051
00:48:43,963 --> 00:48:46,133
♪ ♪
1052
00:48:46,132 --> 00:48:48,552
Hi.
1053
00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:51,101
♪ ♪
1054
00:48:51,095 --> 00:48:53,555
MILES: [whispering]
Can I kiss you?
1055
00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:55,306
LARA: Yes.
1056
00:48:55,307 --> 00:48:57,477
You can kiss me.
1057
00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:59,396
SINGER: ♪ I forget
I'm still awake ♪
1058
00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:01,185
‐ [laughs]
1059
00:49:01,188 --> 00:49:03,728
SINGER: ♪ I fuck up ♪
1060
00:49:03,732 --> 00:49:07,952
♪ And say these things
out loud ♪
1061
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:11,695
♪ My old friend ♪
1062
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:15,199
♪ ♪
1063
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:19,462
♪ I swear I never meant
for this ♪
1064
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:25,087
♪ Don't look at me that way ♪
1065
00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:28,047
♪ ♪
1066
00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:33,508
♪ It was an honest mistake ♪
1067
00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:36,682
♪ ♪
1068
00:49:36,682 --> 00:49:41,902
♪ Don't look at me that way ♪
1069
00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:47,026
♪ It was an honest mistake ♪
1070
00:49:47,026 --> 00:49:51,736
♪ An honest mistake ♪
1071
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,739
[vocalizing]
1072
00:49:54,742 --> 00:50:01,752
♪ ♪
1073
00:50:05,336 --> 00:50:09,256
♪ Never meant, never meant ♪
1074
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:16,056
♪ ♪
1075
00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:20,305
♪ Never meant, never meant ♪
1076
00:50:20,309 --> 00:50:23,979
♪ Oh, I swear,
I never meant ♪
1077
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:26,189
♪ An honest ♪
1078
00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:28,730
♪ An honest mistake ♪
1079
00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:33,454
♪ Don't look at me that way ♪
1080
00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:35,987
♪ ♪
1081
00:50:35,991 --> 00:50:40,751
♪ It was an honest mistake ♪
1082
00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:44,576
♪ ♪
1083
00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:49,803
♪ Don't look at me that way ♪
1084
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:54,587
♪ It was an honest mistake ♪
1085
00:50:54,593 --> 00:50:58,143
♪ An honest mistake ♪
71970
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof