subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for El.club.de.los.buenos.infieles.2017.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-CREATiVE_eng

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic Download

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English Download

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,360 This film is based on events that occurred in Barcelona in 2015. 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,120 Identifying information has been omitted 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,800 to protect the families of those involved. 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,280 Hold on a second. 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,480 If we’re telling the story, let’s do it right. 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,320 Tell it from the beginning, with all the details. 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,280 When the media got hold of it, they lied and exaggerated the story. 8 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,760 We suffered a lot. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,160 Look! 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,640 Look how much we’ve suffered. 11 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,040 It’ll be like therapy, or atonement. 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,440 The truth and nothing but the truth. 13 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,120 No holds barred… 14 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,880 Subjectivity: reconstruction of events. 15 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,560 My wife is a fox. She's stunning, gorgeous. 16 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,480 The first time I saw her in the nude 17 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,240 it was like standing at the altar of the Virgin Mary. 18 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,959 Imagine, a woman like that, married to me. 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,320 My wife is the best. 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:11,400 She’s rock ’n’ roll, great-looking, funny, intelligent, bright… 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,240 She’s the mother of my daughters, although she’s a mother to me too. 22 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,920 She really takes care of me. 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,240 And she keeps me in line! 24 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,400 She has a perfect body. 25 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:24,200 Her eyes, her hair, her skin, the way she smells… 26 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,200 You should see her dance! 27 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:29,440 Plus she’s intelligent, funny, smart, witty… 28 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:36,040 She’s a fucking goddess. A goddess, she’s stunning, but... 29 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:41,640 She’s very good-looking, but the only problem is that... 30 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,800 Is that... 31 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,400 Is that, you know... 32 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,840 When you open a gift, it’s a surprise. 33 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,960 But what if you open that gift a hundred times? A thousand? 34 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,639 No, a million times. What do you do? 35 00:02:09,039 --> 00:02:11,200 You kiss her head like a granddaughter, 36 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,160 squeeze her cheeks like a baby. 37 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,440 You start using cute nicknames. 38 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,880 “Sweetie-pie,” “Baby cakes.” 39 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,880 You see her as one of the family, 40 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,200 your sister, your cousin, your grandma. 41 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,480 And sleeping with one of your family... 42 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,600 That’s incest, right? 43 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,800 You get annoyed by stupid things you never noticed before. 44 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,600 Dirty feet. 45 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:36,000 She walks round the house barefoot and gets in bed with dirty feet. 46 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,280 The granny scarf, a raggedy sweater, turtleneck underwear... 47 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,960 You love what's behind the appearance. 48 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:47,080 Night cream. On her face, all over her body. 49 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,080 It’s like sleeping with a wax doll. 50 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,960 You consider yourself a lucky guy. 51 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,840 But you know... 52 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:54,280 ...she doesn't... 53 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,760 Fine. I’ll say it. 54 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,200 She doesn’t turn you on. 55 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,200 You love her… but you don’t want her. 56 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:59,040 We were... no, we still are friends from way back. 57 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,840 We swore an oath that went: 58 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,960 I swear by all worldly pleasures, 59 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,000 by all the vices and all the booze, 60 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,560 that we’ll always be friends, 61 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:18,839 no matter what happens, 62 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,600 even if it’s bad. 63 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,880 However messed up you get. Amen! 64 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:23,760 Amen. 65 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,280 Totally inseparable. 66 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,640 Christ! We said it all the time. 67 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,360 So we kept the oath, 68 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,760 we went to college and we stuck together. 69 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,600 Well… 70 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,960 I was the first to get married. 71 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,120 Marcos got married, I met Nuria… 72 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,880 Marriage, work, responsibilities, commitments… 73 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,240 That’s life, right? 74 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,400 Then we all got an invitation 75 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,760 to the student reunion at our old high school. 76 00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,760 I didn’t think twice. 77 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,120 It was a chance to see the old gang again. 78 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,040 I had to go. 79 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,200 What’s up!? 80 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,720 They’d gotten older. 81 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,240 They were older, balder... 82 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,440 they were fatter. 83 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,960 You have to stay in shape! 84 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,520 Use skin cream, take calcium, eat bananas. 85 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,040 So where’s Juanillo? 86 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,520 - He's not here yet. - Must be on his way. 87 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,160 How could we weigh more with less hair? 88 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,800 There we all were... 89 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,200 and it was so great to see them! 90 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,840 We sat down at a table and talked like crazy. 91 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,440 Life's great, work is fantastic, life's amazing. 92 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,560 The night flew by, we were drunk, they closed the restaurant, 93 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,800 we didn’t know where to go and... 94 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,160 I think it was Juan. 95 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,240 I think it was Carlos. 96 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,920 I think it was Marcos. 97 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,200 I think it was David. 98 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,240 Jesus, look out, dude! 99 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,840 OK! Over here Over here! 100 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:18,120 - What are you doing? - Shut up, OK? 101 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,280 Be careful, dude! 102 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,320 - Oh shit! - Be careful! 103 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,520 Can you keep it down a bit? 104 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,960 You’ll wake up the whole neighborhood! 105 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,640 - Watch your balls! - Don't you get vertigo? 106 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,640 Shut the fuck up! 107 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,160 We're in! 108 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:43,880 Fucking awesome! 109 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,680 We were fifteen again. Wow. It was epic. 110 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,240 So long since I smoked a joint. 111 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,640 Good, huh? It's from my cousin. Should I get more? 112 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,840 Yeah, sure! 113 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,080 If my wife finds out I’m toking she’ll cut my dick off. 114 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,240 When you get home, make love to her, you'll be fine. 115 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,960 I don’t make love anymore. 116 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,960 - So what do you do? - I'm just a bugbear. 117 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,160 - No more wolfman! -Yeah! 118 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,960 Pass me the joint. Come on, man! 119 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,440 Whoa, that smell! 120 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,240 Yup, it stinks. 121 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,000 Do you guys have a lot of sex with your wives? 122 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:00,720 Sure! I’m a stud. 123 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,040 - More like a dud. - Moron. 124 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,200 But how often? 125 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,200 I dunno… Per year? Per month? 126 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,280 Per week. 127 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,600 Not weekly, there’s no way because of the girls. 128 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,240 But my wife and I manage, every now and then. 129 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:21,800 Yeah. If we make an effort we might do it... once. 130 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,640 Once? 131 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:26,680 Once. 132 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:27,920 And you, Juan? 133 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,080 More! Way more. 134 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:31,800 And you, Carlos? 135 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,600 I don’t know, once, sometimes twice. 136 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,679 So you're like me, right? 137 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,120 What do you mean? 138 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,840 You never feel like sleeping with your wives. 139 00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:45,160 - What are you talking about? - Come on, what the fuck, man? 140 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,480 Speak for yourself! 141 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,800 OK, fine! What a pair! 142 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:51,200 On weeknights, 143 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,680 my mother-in-law stays over 144 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,080 to help with the girls. 145 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,160 The passion fades. 146 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,480 Passion doesn’t fade. Passion is passion. 147 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,760 We’ve accepted this like it’s totally normal. 148 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,640 Doesn't that worry you? 149 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,080 It really doesn't worry you? 150 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,760 It doesn't worry you? 151 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:37,160 Hey, David. Man, it worries me. 152 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,720 Christ! An honest guy! 153 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,040 So what do you do? 154 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,280 I don't know. What can I do? Nothing. 155 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,840 Some nights I don’t feel like it and I lock myself in the bathroom. 156 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,320 I turn on the faucet, let the water run and... 157 00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,760 I wait till she falls asleep. 158 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,800 That's how it is. 159 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,480 I have a secret technique. 160 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,440 I have telekinetic sex. 161 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,520 When I’m in bed with my wife I imagine another woman. 162 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,920 That way I break up the monotony. 163 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,440 Using my method, I’ve had sex... 164 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,800 with Sara Carbonero, Beyoncé… 165 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,400 Even Letizia. 166 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,600 Letizia? 167 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,440 She’s skinny, but she’s the queen! 168 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,920 Damn, we’re in bad shape. 169 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,360 Hey, no big deal, right? 170 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,840 The other night I left work stressed, more than usual. 171 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,120 And I walked into one of these disco bars. 172 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:39,560 There happiness, life, people having fun, women! 173 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,560 You know, women? 174 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,720 I just took off, scared shitless, I freaked out. 175 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,720 I got home and it was all I could think about. 176 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,760 I needed to go out drinking, dance, get wasted. 177 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:53,800 I needed you guys. 178 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,800 I needed to tomatify. 179 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,240 “Tomatify.” 180 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,880 We were married! 181 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:05,880 “Tomatify.” 182 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,360 That was our word for going out to pick up chicks, 183 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,400 when we were kids. 184 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,160 It seemed so long ago. 185 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,000 It was super late and we had work the next day 186 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,840 so we said good night and went home. 187 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,680 It was so late it was already day. 188 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,800 We all went home... 189 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,400 but something... had changed. 190 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,280 In our heads, there was only one thought. 191 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,800 It was insane. 192 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,200 “Tomatify.” 193 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,320 “Tomatify.” 194 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,640 We didn’t realize, but we were opening Pandora’s box 195 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,360 and climbing inside. 196 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,960 I made a WhatsApp group called “Tomato.” 197 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,880 “Tomato, tomato...” 198 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,240 We sent each other 300 messages a day. 199 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:30,200 Come on! 200 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,000 I ignored them. 201 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,880 I wanted to solve my real problems. 202 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,800 I was totally stressed out. 203 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,160 Like an ice cube right here in my chest. 204 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,200 So I went to see my psychiatrist. 205 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,800 He was nervous. I prescribed Rivotril drops. 206 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,520 Rivotril, Rivofril or something. It calmed me down a lot. 207 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,080 I recommended a center for sexual disorders. 208 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,600 Caress therapy, learning to kiss, to enjoy repetition, 209 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,040 the language of the hands, the imagination as a sexual organ. 210 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,680 All those plastic couples 211 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,320 smiling at each other. 212 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,800 But I was willing to do anything. Anything. 213 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,600 Obviously he had to go with his wife 214 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,960 No. No way. 215 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,840 I can’t go home and tell my wife, "I don’t want you anymore." 216 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:26,720 "By the way, I signed you up for New Age caress therapy." 217 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:27,480 Come on! 218 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,200 You can’t tell your wife you don’t desire her. 219 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:33,360 It would be like saying you don’t like her mom, for example. 220 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,800 Or that she looks fat in the morning. 221 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:38,880 Or that her sister is hot. 222 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,720 Look, how can we desire our wives 223 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,720 if we don’t desire anyone? 224 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,000 We could go out and try. 225 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,000 Right? 226 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,240 I could help us... 227 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:51,800 I dunno. 228 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,480 To get back what we lost. 229 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,400 “Tomatifying,” isn’t going out to score. 230 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,800 It’s going out... 231 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,360 and maybe you score. 232 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,760 I spent the whole night thinking... 233 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,680 How could we go out and tomatify without our wives finding out? 234 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,920 We had to play away, as visitors. 235 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,880 A weekend just for us. 236 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,760 David had the idea of the courses. 237 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,360 I made a pack in Photoshop. 238 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,160 So I got a marketing course, 239 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,720 put each person's company logo on it 240 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,800 and sent it to them to print out. 241 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,400 Awesome idea. 242 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,960 The packs were crap. 243 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:32,040 They had topics, times, subjects and the tutors' names. 244 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:33,800 Two pages, not much more. 245 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,320 We picked a date: the following Friday. 246 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,760 We had to choose a city. 247 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:38,800 Zaragoza. 248 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,200 It was perfect. 249 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:41,600 It was far enough away 250 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,840 and big enough 251 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,000 that no-one had friends or family there. 252 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,680 "Oh, Zaragoza, fairest of the fair, 253 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,840 you’ve got a crack in your ass and it’s full of hair." 254 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,960 But what if one of our wives calls the hotel 255 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,760 while we're out tomatifying? 256 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,120 We bought a phone and put the number in the pack as the hotel's. 257 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,920 So if our wives called, the machine would pick up. 258 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,160 Devious, huh? 259 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,600 Then we call our wife back 260 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,800 before they call again. 261 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,680 Carlos came in, even more nervous than usual. 262 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,600 I told him my friends' plans 263 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,680 and asked if it made sense to cheat on our wives 264 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,240 to revive our marriages. 265 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,440 It was outrageous! I’d never heard of anything like it. 266 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,000 I immediately asked if I could come along. 267 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,040 I couldn’t say no. 268 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,040 My name is Benet Sáez. 269 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,400 But you can call me Dr. Sáez. 270 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,440 I've been married to my wife 271 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,800 for 27 years. 272 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,960 I want to enjoy of every minute of my life. 273 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,000 27 years… 274 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,040 When we had our info packs, it was time to lie. 275 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,280 Honey, I don’t want to go to Zaragoza. 276 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,120 Zaragoza? I don’t like Zaragoza. 277 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,760 We have to do this course: "Marketing and Sales.” 278 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,480 And... blah, blah, blah. 279 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,000 The day of the first outing come around. 280 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,400 The hardest part of psychiatry... 281 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,760 is that people are irrational. 282 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,400 People cry when they’re happy. 283 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,880 Can you think of anything more ridiculous? 284 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,640 Their irrationality makes psychiatry an impossible science! 285 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,000 Well anyway, there they are. We made it. 286 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,880 Doctor! Welcome to the family. 287 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,400 - And you are? - I'm David. 288 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,760 Marcos, what the - ? 289 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,640 What are you doing? 290 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,800 I’m scared of being recognized! 291 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,600 You look like the invisible man. 292 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,680 Leave that here! A keg? 293 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,480 Relax, leave it to me! 294 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,720 Don’t worry, I’ll sit in the middle and put it between my legs. 295 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,320 A beer? Stick it on your head. 296 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,440 I can’t see! 297 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,160 Get this, get this! What if we change names? 298 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560 I'll be Marcos Banderas. 299 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,000 No, I’m Marcos. 300 00:17:05,079 --> 00:17:07,400 What’s the problem? We can both be Marcos. 301 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,480 - Take it easy! - OK, cut it out! 302 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,200 My wife! My wife is calling! 303 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,119 - Take the call! - I’m answering, I’m answering! 304 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,119 I'm answering! 305 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,720 - Hi Pookie Bear. - Pookie Bear? 306 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:23,680 Please! Be quiet! 307 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,040 Hello, I’m still on the bus. 308 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,240 Everybody’s asleep, I can’t talk right now. 309 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:31,800 We’re going through a... There’s not much cover... 310 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,200 Give the kids lots of kisses from me. 311 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,800 And a big one for you too. 312 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,400 I’ll call you when I get there. 313 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,840 So are we changing names or not? 314 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,120 - If I can't be Marcos... - Not Marcos again! 315 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,480 I’m Marcos! 316 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,760 You guys are giving me a headache! 317 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,960 Get this straight OK? 318 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,680 I’m chewing a Valium, if anyone...? 319 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,680 What do you mean, you don't want to? 320 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,480 You're fucking kidding! 321 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,560 Hey, hey! This is a B-side! 322 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,160 Listen to me, my old friend… 323 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,800 I don’t know if you’ll remember... 324 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,760 We never changed names. 325 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,480 Singing like crazy. 326 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,720 On the edge of right, On the edge of right... 327 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:27,000 On the edge of wrong, on the edge of wrong... 328 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:32,200 I’ll be waiting on the edge of right and wrong. 329 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,240 Hey! No! Motherfuckers! 330 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,480 We had the biggest seafood feast in history. 331 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,240 OK, boys, here you go. 332 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:47,800 My God... 333 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,560 Olé, olé! 334 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,600 In Zaragoza. Seafood. Barnacles, nom nom. 335 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,640 Little prawns. Delicious. 336 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,760 Ferran is capable of anything. 337 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,080 Any kids, doctor? 338 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,240 No. We haven’t had children. 339 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,840 We’ve had several dogs, but no kids. 340 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,080 - You couldn’t? -No, we just didn't. 341 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,240 - By the way... - I have two. 342 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,560 A little bird told me your wife is very beautiful. 343 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,160 Yes, she's beautiful. 344 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,480 A total goddess... 345 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,200 She is scorching hot. 346 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,680 Yes, she's hot. 347 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:37,640 You didn’t bone my wife with that telekinesis of yours, did you? 348 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,960 He boned her, her boned her! 349 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,600 He boned her! 350 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,360 And yours too! 351 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,880 You don't fuck your buddies' wives! 352 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,400 Get that into your head! 353 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,000 Hold on! You have to tell us that secret technique of yours. 354 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,160 - No, no. - Yes, come on... 355 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,440 OK, shut up! Be quiet! 356 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,880 OK, OK. But keep it down, please! 357 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,240 When I have to perform with my wife, 358 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,520 I perform. 359 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,520 But you know what I do? I fake it. 360 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,400 - How do you fake it? - The orgasm! 361 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,360 But how? 362 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:18,840 OK, listen: 363 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,720 So you’re with your wife, you’re in bed 364 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,800 and this is important: she's face down, ass in the air. 365 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,360 so when she's in position ass in the air, 366 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,640 you slip it in to your wife. 367 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,840 OK? Right there, like a colossus. Inside. 368 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,880 And you start gradually, that's the way. 369 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,200 Without losing contact. 370 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,120 Nice and slow, no hurry. 371 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,080 Then you change it up. 372 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,240 Change it up. And then... 373 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,440 Right cheek, left cheek right cheek, left cheek. 374 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,920 You start to play with those things. 375 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,840 You change the rhythm. 376 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,600 You're there, giving it all you got, and you go... 377 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:15,040 There comes a point, I'm in there, really tight... 378 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,080 You're like a battering ram. 379 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,480 You’re Attila! You're Attila!. 380 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,360 The grass will never grow back! 381 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,880 You slap that ass! 382 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,000 Finally you're like... 383 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,560 Go on, cum! 384 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,720 That's it. Bin the condom. 385 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,160 Oh please. 386 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,960 I find it all really stressful. 387 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,040 Anyway, we ate and drank like wild beasts. 388 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,800 We got a little bit side-tracked that night. 389 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,720 That’s not a kebab, you know what it is? A dürüm. 390 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,240 - It’s a real dürüm. - It's called a dürüm. 391 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,520 Dürüm! 392 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,280 From now on I’ll call you bean sprout. 393 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,960 Look, I’ll do it with yours, with mine it’s gross. 394 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:15,760 OK, what's this? 395 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,320 An Eskimo jerking off. 396 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,240 An Eskimo! 397 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,840 What does a wife say to her husband 398 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,920 after giving him a blow job? 399 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,320 What does she say? 400 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,760 I love you. 401 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,800 Oh man, please! 402 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,880 What do you want me to do? She works, I work every day. 403 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,440 Put a little humor in your life! A little spice. 404 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,080 Fuck, I can't believe I'm the one saying this! 405 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,680 - You have no shame. - Carlitos! Carlitos! 406 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,840 Carlitos! I’m proud of you for saying that. 407 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,160 - Carlitos! -Why do you think I'm here? 408 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:03,840 I love you. 409 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:04,960 And you know what? 410 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,360 I love you too, even though you’re a pussy. 411 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,920 - Me too. - For Christ's sake. 412 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,680 Don't get mad, I love you too. 413 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,280 Guys, I can’t take any more. 414 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,440 - What time is it? - Midnight. 415 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:24,200 We were scared of hooking up. 416 00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,280 We ate too much. 417 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,320 Juan said he'd take us somewhere he'd been recommended. 418 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,840 A quiet spot, with music and a young crowd... 419 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,680 Night owl, night owl... 420 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:42,680 My wife is so delighted, I’m a night owl! 421 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,840 I'm a night owl! 422 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:53,400 A night owl! 423 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,440 We'd forgotten the point of the trip. 424 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,760 We took a taxi and the adventure began. 425 00:23:59,000 --> 00:23:59,840 No excuses. 426 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:01,880 Time to tomatify. 427 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,880 Kill or be killed. 428 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,880 It was about being young again. 429 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,520 Adolescence never ends, you just give up on it. 430 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,640 - Here's to tomatifying! - Tomatifying! 431 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,920 Holy shit! Holy shit! 432 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,560 We were so pathetic, acting like teenagers… 433 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,200 You’re old! 434 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:02,280 Excuse me, Miss, would you like me to buy you a drink? 435 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:09,840 Pappy... How can I put this? 436 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,640 You're old! 437 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,600 Babe, let me buy you a drink. 438 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,800 Come on! We’re all going to score. We gotta get psyched! 439 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,120 It says here, we’re the prize! 440 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,640 Hook-up tricks. I memorize them. 441 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,160 Women don't scare me. 442 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,680 Juan! You brought a book to score? 443 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,360 It’s OK, guys, we’ll call a taxi and go somewhere else. 444 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,760 - It’s five in the morning. - A taxi? 445 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,760 We were puppets without strings, scarecrows with dicks... 446 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:15,480 Night trash. 447 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,480 Here’s what I do with five in the morning. 448 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,760 Carlos, look. 449 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:24,520 It was the Titanic. 450 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,320 Luckily I have some experience. 451 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,040 I’d prepared a little help, an insignificant placebo. 452 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,000 We will not sleep alone tonight. 453 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,320 We will not sleep alone tonight, doctor. 454 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,960 No, I don’t do drugs. 455 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:47,680 It’s not a drug, it’s medication, with a prescription. 456 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,720 We will not sleep alone. 457 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,320 We won't sleep alone tonight. 458 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,400 We will not sleep alone. 459 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,840 I’m your doctor, they won’t hurt you. 460 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,960 Carlitos… 461 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,200 - No, no… - Carlitos. 462 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,520 No calling me Carlitos. 463 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:04,480 Carlitos… 464 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,960 No calling me Carlitos. 465 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,320 We will not sleep alone tonight. 466 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,480 We will not sleep alone! 467 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,800 I have no idea what we took. 468 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,920 I had a blast. Why lie? 469 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,880 I don’t know how, but we ended up at the hotel. 470 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,040 Turn round. 471 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,680 I swear by all worldly pleasures, all the vices and all the booze… 472 00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:01,080 I swear by all worldly pleasures, all the vices and all the booze… 473 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,160 that we’ll always be friends 474 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,440 no matter what happens 475 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,160 ...even if it’s bad. 476 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,800 Amen! 477 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,200 You OK, kid? 478 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,760 I'm just happy... 479 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,400 The fact is, methamphetamine is a little deceptive. 480 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,920 When you think it's wearing off... 481 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,520 Fire, fire! 482 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,240 No fire! There’s no fire! 483 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,400 We overdid it with the drugs... 484 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,040 Carlos, dude, Carlos, wake up… 485 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,920 It’s Juan… He’s not moving… 486 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:23,800 Dude… 487 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,720 He’s dead, no doubt about it. 488 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:30,400 What? 489 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:32,880 Go fuck yourselves, 490 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:34,160 he’s got a boner. 491 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,800 Rigor mortis! 492 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,320 Rigor mortis… 493 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,520 He’s dead, OK? 494 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,240 Gonna call an ambulance…. 495 00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:48,640 - What are you doing? - An ambulance! 496 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,440 You killed him! 497 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,360 You killed him! 498 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,520 Silence! 499 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,360 If you call an ambulance, they take him, 500 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,320 his wife finds out he wasn't on a course, 501 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,120 - and they’ll rumble him. - And rumble us too. 502 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,600 Because his wife is friends with your wife, 503 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,320 who's friends with your wife, who's friends with my wife! 504 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,000 - Very dangerous. - What do we do? 505 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,400 Take off the robe! 506 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,080 Lift his leg first! 507 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,600 Stop, stop, stop! 508 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,600 This is… 509 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,800 This is horrible. 510 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,680 You motherfuckers! Fuck every single one of you, assholes! 511 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:24,640 Who put me in here? 512 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,880 I'm claustrophobic! You put me in the trunk! 513 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,320 And who dressed me up like the fat bad guy in Ghandi? 514 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,440 Jesus fucking Christ. Fuck every single one of you. 515 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,760 I’ve had it up to here with this place, fuck this! 516 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:42,120 - Juan! - Fuck you all, and your mothers! 517 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,760 Well, maybe he wasn’t dead. That’s another option. 518 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:03,760 Hangover… 519 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:06,640 A killer… 520 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:15,760 This isn’t tomatifying. 521 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,720 To tomatify 100% you have to hook up. 522 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:22,840 Bunch of morons. 523 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,520 Silence, please. Silence. 524 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,080 Please, make this hell stop. 525 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,680 It’s your wife, calling the hotel phone. 526 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,040 What do I do? 527 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,640 Call her in 5 minutes from your cell. 528 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,400 I don’t get it. 529 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,000 She called the number from the info pack. 530 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,600 She’ll get the machine. You just play dumb, that's all. 531 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,040 That’s right. 532 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:56,560 Wait a second. You’re going to call with that voice? 533 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,520 It’s my wife. What do I do? 534 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,320 Whatever, just answer it. 535 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,400 The first time in 5 years I haven’t picked up. 536 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,040 Oh God... 537 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:14,160 Please, just answer it. 538 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:15,760 What do I do? 539 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,480 Answer it, please, for the love of Christ. 540 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,200 Say you’re in class, whisper, say you’re in class! 541 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,720 Hi, Pookie Bear. How are you? 542 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,760 Yeah, I’m in the middle of a class. 543 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,960 I can’t talk right now. I’ll call you later, OK? 544 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:43,560 What? 545 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,760 Yes, of course I care about your mother... 546 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,040 Just a second... 547 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,560 Jesus… 548 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,480 Yeah, yeah. But I’m in class. 549 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,520 I’ll call you when it’s over. Big kiss. 550 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,719 - You OK? - No. 551 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,239 - Did she get mad? - I dunno, I guess. 552 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,440 Turn off the fucking phones. 553 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,800 In terms of scoring... 554 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,400 No. We didn’t get to first base. 555 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,760 Whoa. Total failure. 556 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,239 My clothes were filthy. I nearly got caught. 557 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,080 I had to put on a wash. In secret. 558 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,920 It wasn’t what you’d call a success… 559 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,520 We were too old to be fooling around. 560 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,840 I decided to forget it all, just drop it... 561 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,800 You couldn’t say we didn’t try. 562 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,160 …and go back to therapy, there was no other choice. 563 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,960 We had to go on with our lives, that was the truth. 564 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,200 I told myself it could work. It had to work. 565 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,720 Rome wasn’t built in a day. 566 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,760 Most of all, we had to learn to score. 567 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,920 Want me to show you where it all happened? 568 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,360 Yeah? Really? Let’s go. 569 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,800 Come on. 570 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,680 Ready? We needed somewhere to meet, 571 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,360 where we could be free, where we could be ourselves. 572 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,000 I had just the place. 573 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:53,120 We’re on the outskirts of Barcelona, impossible to find without GPS. 574 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,400 This is where the plan entered the next phase. 575 00:35:58,520 --> 00:35:59,560 The gym. 576 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,480 You could tell you wife you were going to the gym 577 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,880 without feeling guilty, 'cause it was true: 578 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,880 it was a gym. 579 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,960 Not that way, this way. 580 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,120 We went in the back door so as not to attract attention. 581 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,000 Come in. 582 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,800 The only difference was instead of doing a few reps, 583 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,800 you had a few drinks! 584 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,520 That’s when someone said the word... 585 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,000 “Club”! 586 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:35,600 We had a place to meet and we hired the author of the book. 587 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,760 It cost a fortune. But it was the ultimate investment. 588 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,480 Hi, I’m Juan Ruiz. 589 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,200 Everybody knows me as... “The Teacher.” 590 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,040 I’ll tell you a story: I was 14 and I was ugly. 591 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:55,120 I had huge ears, pimples... 592 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,080 When I was 21 and I had never kissed a woman. 593 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,760 I decided to change and that’s up to you. 594 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,840 He convinced us all right away. 595 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,480 I went to the U.S.A. and learned from the best. 596 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,480 I became a... “self-made man.” 597 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,680 My first impression was... 598 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,560 this punk is going to teach me to pick up chicks? Me? 599 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,200 Dandruff, fingernails, pimples... 600 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,480 They looked like blocked men, and women don't want that. 601 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,480 The first thing I told them was 602 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,240 “unblock yourself.” 603 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,120 Bam! He was the master, he was always on target. 604 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,120 I gave them classes, 605 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,680 but it was such an extreme case of unmanliness 606 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,680 I decided it was time for action. 607 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,080 We weren’t sure where to go out next. 608 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,000 I wanted to find the best place for scoring in Spain. 609 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,000 They called it the “S Factor.” 610 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,000 We compared data from every city. 611 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:49,280 Number of female inhabitants, single girls, couples, 612 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,320 infidelity statistics, sales in sex shops, everything. 613 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:54,960 And ahead of Madrid, Marbella, Ibiza... 614 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:58,840 Lleida. 615 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,120 I told my cousin Jordi. 616 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,840 Hi, I'm Jordi. I’m 30, 617 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,520 and I work making photo depilation needles. 618 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,920 Naturally… he wanted to come. 619 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,000 I don’t have a girlfriend and I’ve never had one. 620 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,280 Well, only David knows this. My cousin 621 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,040 I hid it from the guys in the club because… 622 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,840 I wanted them to accept me. 623 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,800 There were too many for the car, so we rented a minivan. 624 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,760 On the edge of right... 625 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,600 On the edge of right! 626 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,200 What are you doing? 627 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,760 I didn’t want them to score in the usual places, like a pub 628 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,240 a club, a disco full of teenagers... 629 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,440 No. I did my research and I put them in a hotel 630 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,040 where there was a hair and make-up convention. 631 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,400 Who did that? 632 00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,200 “The Teacher.” 633 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,920 The teacher was a little weird. 634 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,720 He kept speaking in English, 635 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,520 but you could tell he was from Jaén. 636 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,600 Stop now! 637 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,960 OK, this is important. 638 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,280 The honor code. 639 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,200 The honor code? 640 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,840 Women don’t scare me. Repeat. 641 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,440 Women don’t scare me. 642 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,920 Motherfucker up shit! What's the biggest seduction mistake? 643 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:26,680 Being trigger-happy. 644 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:27,600 Trigger-happy? 645 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,360 Fear, because when you’re afraid you feel inferior. 646 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,720 - Guys, we studied this. - Yeah, right. 647 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,800 What does a woman want? A brave man. 648 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:37,480 Women don’t scare me. 649 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:39,400 Women don’t scare me. 650 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,120 Women don’t scare me. 651 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,160 Women don’t scare me. 652 00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,360 Are we men or aren't we? Women don’t scare me! 653 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,920 Women don’t scare me! 654 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,240 We crashed some kind of seminar. 655 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,360 A make-up artist convention. 656 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,480 The logic is so devastating. It’s genius. 657 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,520 My students were put to the test. 658 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,200 They were going to be soldiers of Venus. 659 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,720 It was crawling with women. 660 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,520 I mean, crawling with women! 661 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,560 We could have died. 662 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,880 I taught them one of my favorite rules: 663 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,840 the Three Second Rule. 664 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,120 You make eye contact with a woman, you're ready to talk. 665 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:36,440 You clench your fists, you count “one, two, three”... 666 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,320 You talk to her. 667 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:40,880 If you delay, 668 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,400 you're a Peeping Tom and women want decisiveness, 669 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,240 a man who knows what he wants. 670 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,560 Hey, gorgeous. Having a good night? 671 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,520 Great. I'm here with my partner. 672 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,280 One. Two. Three. 673 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,720 Go. 674 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:04,960 Hi. 675 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,520 Hi. 676 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,000 Are you guys with a company? 677 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,440 - We make face cream. - "Creamsinc". 678 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,480 What brand? 679 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,480 Creams Inc. "Creamsinc." 680 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:32,720 - If I’m bothering you, just say. - No, it's fine. Great. 681 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,320 What a pleasure. This is... great. 682 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:36,840 - Hi! - Hi! 683 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,400 Having a good time? 684 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,600 Yes, we were just about to order a drink. 685 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,080 Oh really! 686 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,760 Let's get that drink. 687 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:50,280 Some people fail and pull out of the game, but no. 688 00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:52,480 When you fail, you’re learning. 689 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,040 You son of a bitch, "Creamsinc"? 690 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,520 I'm sorry, I couldn’t help it, I swear. 691 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,680 - What are you doing? - I'm growing, 692 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,960 Every failure helps me grow. 693 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,040 I’m learning! I’m learning, dammit! 694 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,120 Godammit, I'm learning! 695 00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:10,240 I love you! 696 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,320 To attack a girl, never attack head on, 697 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:13,720 without an escape route. 698 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,800 Use the crab technique. 699 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,200 The Crab. 700 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,200 Approach her as if you’re leaving, 701 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,600 like it was nothing. 702 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,000 Your feet never point at the target. 703 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,280 Hi... you’re a very pretty girl. 704 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,120 If the target ignores you, 705 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:34,600 radically change tack. 706 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,000 And keep acting like nothing is happening. 707 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,720 I got distracted, Iooking the other way. Hey! 708 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,840 It's an ancient technique. 709 00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,920 You approach without being seen, 710 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000 it’s part of the magic of seduction. 711 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,440 Don’t look desperate. 712 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,840 Don’t show your hunger, 713 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,080 don't show you're out to score. 714 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,760 Did you want anything? 715 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,560 Should I want something? 716 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,880 You have to ask questions. 717 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:08,960 We all like talking about ourselves. 718 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,280 Ask and listen, ask and listen. 719 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,160 You swap ideas with colleagues... 720 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,600 And you’re here for…? 721 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,800 -...the make-up. -Of course! 722 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:23,160 - Me too - You too? 723 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:24,240 - You work in make-up? 724 00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,160 - Eyelashes. 725 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:31,480 So, women... The principle of... 726 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,000 Oh fuck, I messed up... 727 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,000 Ask, ask, ask. 728 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:39,680 You’re not from here, right? 729 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:40,960 What’s the objective? 730 00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,720 To find that person’s hidden dream. 731 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:45,920 What I want most? 732 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,720 - Most in the world. - What a question! 733 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:48,840 What a question... 734 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:50,880 What do you like most? 735 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:52,840 Do you know? 736 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,920 More or less, I’m looking! 737 00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:56,720 Well me too! 738 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,360 We're looking for the same thing, right? 739 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:00,840 Nice, something in common! 740 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,440 My real passion is singing. 741 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,600 How about singing something for me? 742 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,200 I love sculpting with clay. 743 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:08,120 How wonderful! 744 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,000 And suddenly, being yourselves, 745 00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:12,920 and finding their hidden dream... 746 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:15,480 More, a little more. 747 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,320 Without realizing, it's endless seduction. 748 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:27,400 - Hi. - Hi. 749 00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:07,440 It's the most difficult part of the night. 750 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,240 The kiss. 751 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,720 I should be going. 752 00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,720 Never ask for a kiss. That’s for clowns. 753 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,560 There’s a foolproof trick, which is to look into her eyes 754 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,080 and tell her... 755 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,280 I’m going to kiss you. 756 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,160 Count to three in your head. 757 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:29,040 Move closer... 758 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,680 Kiss her gently. 759 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:56,920 I was kissing her. 760 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,120 I picked up a foreign girl, it was the best night of my life. 761 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,520 It was incredible. 762 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,080 Foreign chicks, hard dicks. I dunno. 763 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,040 Oh my God! I was so proud of them... 764 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:11,160 He unblocked us. 765 00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:12,640 Almost everyone. 766 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,960 Juan wanted to score so badly, but he was so bad at it. 767 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,280 It’s like I’m stuck at a castrated developmental stage 768 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,960 and somehow I can’t... finish the job. 769 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,720 Charly didn't want to hook up. 770 00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:30,520 He wouldn’t or he couldn’t. 771 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:32,760 His head was in a mess, 772 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:35,520 and to score you have to free your mind, 773 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,680 because you have to trust yourself. 774 00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,120 Give me a close-up on the next line, please. 775 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,040 Closer, the eyes, the eyes. 776 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,600 "Trust yourself." 777 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,000 Being unfaithful... is really weird. 778 00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,560 Worse than punching your dad. 779 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,360 But suddenly you get home 780 00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,320 and you see your wife in a new light. 781 00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,440 When you compare your wife to a fantasy, the fantasy wins 782 00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,320 because it’s perfect. 783 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,760 But when the fantasy becomes reality, it’s not so fantastic: 784 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,280 your wife is fantastic. 785 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,160 It was like taking your head out of the water and saying, "Damn!" 786 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,240 I can breathe so much better. 787 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,160 The desire was back. I called it... 788 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,320 “The Force.” 789 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:25,800 You feed your ego. 790 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,800 Someone finds you attractive. 791 00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,200 You dared to have an adventure. 792 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,520 Money attracts money, sex attracts sex. 793 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,040 It worked. 794 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:35,920 It worked like a charm. 795 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:37,400 I made love to my wife. 796 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,880 No faking, it was real. 797 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,600 We were getting in so much shit. 798 00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,720 I didn’t want to go out with them. 799 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,760 They were troublemakers and I had enough trouble already. 800 00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,160 Christians invented guilt, with all the cross business. 801 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,840 I came home with the cross, the nails and the crown of thorns. 802 00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,880 Yes! How could I not feel guilty? Of course I felt guilty. 803 00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,240 Of course I felt guilty! What am I, an animal? Sure I did! 804 00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,840 I saw my wife and I felt bad, but that’s the price you pay, right? 805 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,800 Don’t ask again, that's all I'm saying. 806 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:11,400 Hands off! 807 00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,040 That cost money! For God's sake... 808 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,520 I said to hell with it, it’s finished. 809 00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:21,600 Why obsess over it? I didn’t want to cheat on her. 810 00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,320 Besides, sex isn’t that important for a couple. 811 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,440 That was the best part, we decided to go big. 812 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,640 The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club. 813 00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:38,080 “Nice” because we were doing it for a good cause: 814 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,640 to save our marriages. 815 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,880 Well, it made sense at the time. 816 00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,120 We soon realized the power of the force wouldn’t last. 817 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:55,960 That was a problem. 818 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,040 It would be the most perfect club in the world. 819 00:48:59,120 --> 00:48:59,960 Invest in R&D. 820 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,360 Learn from our mistakes. 821 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,800 We started sending encrypted emails, written with symbols 822 00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:09,640 so when you change the font: Presto! The message appeared. 823 00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,600 Encrypted messages? They were like goddam Boy Scouts. 824 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,520 The lockers were here. 825 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,240 We’d leave our briefcases, and rings, very important. 826 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,800 We had the machines here, for washing clothes, 827 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,800 so we didn’t go home smelling of booze. 828 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,160 But the best thing was this: 829 00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:27,440 the foosball table was here. 830 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,400 Everybody wanted to join, so we accepted new members. 831 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,480 My name is Javier and I’m 8. 832 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:34,960 My name is Abel and I’m 10. 833 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:35,840 I’m 2. 834 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:36,760 4 months. 835 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,680 10 years. 836 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:38,560 39 years. 837 00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,720 45 years. 838 00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:40,640 5 years. 839 00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:41,560 2 months. 840 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,560 Your age in the club is how long you’ve been married. 841 00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:46,640 We set up a small switchboard. 842 00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:48,520 Dancing classes. 843 00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,600 Merengue, bachata, cha-cha-cha, tango... 844 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,440 We bought a computer, printers, one of those binding machines... 845 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,520 We made up custom courses for each of us. 846 00:49:57,800 --> 00:49:59,920 Some members prepared nights out, 847 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,800 others found the conventions with most women. 848 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,800 I handled psychological issues. 849 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,440 Some got depressed at first, or became euphoric. 850 00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,280 I was in charge of creating good vibes. 851 00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,800 There was even a team who bought gifts and wrapped them 852 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,600 so when we went home 853 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,560 we could give our wives a gift from the place we’d supposedly been. 854 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,920 I handled alcohol and drugs, of course. I’m a psychiatrist. 855 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,880 We were like one big family. 856 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,600 I created a website 857 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:28,960 The Jewelry Club dot com. 858 00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:32,360 Click the ring, enter your password and you’re in the club. 859 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,960 You could check anything you wanted, chat with members, 860 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:37,960 and an exit button, if you got caught! 861 00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:39,800 Straight back to the jewelry. 862 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:43,480 We had our married life and our player life. We had it all. 863 00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:45,880 It wasn’t just about women. 864 00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:50,160 We had friends, we had adventures, 865 00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:54,560 we had got back... that zest for life. 866 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,320 Check out this awesome pic. 867 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,640 My cousin Jordi, Marcos. 868 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:08,400 That’s me goofing off. 869 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,720 Juan, the doctor... 870 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,400 What a sign up! The doctor, damn. 871 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,480 We went out once a month, never to the same place. 872 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,960 We followed David’s selection criteria.. 873 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,040 And somehow we reached our tenth night out. 874 00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:35,640 We had to celebrate in style. 875 00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,320 Picking a destination was easy. 876 00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,360 Obviously... Lleida. 877 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,800 What’s in Lleida? Nothing. 878 00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,160 So people just fuck, fuck, fuck. 879 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,920 All day long, wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. 880 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,240 Boo-ya, boo-ya! I love it. 881 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,280 They kept calling me, sending emails... 882 00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,200 I wanted to share it, I wanted him to see what we'd built. 883 00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,680 He was there from the beginning. 884 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,200 I told David I was really happy with my wife. 885 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:06,800 He was lying his ass off. 886 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,560 And that I would never, ever go back, 887 00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,280 never-ever-ever, nothing they could do. 888 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:16,880 - So did you go? - Yes, in the end I did. 889 00:52:52,240 --> 00:52:53,760 - Viagra. - Viagra. 890 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:05,560 Unbelievable. 891 00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,440 Maybe there were too many of us. 892 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,080 Tomatify! 893 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,200 Tomatify! 894 00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,520 We were on fire, we went all out. 895 00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,440 Who's read the Jack London novel, "The Call of the Wild"? 896 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,480 It's about a dog named Buck 897 00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,720 who was led to believe he was a tame house dog. 898 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,800 But he wasn’t, not really. 899 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:32,320 No, doctor. He was really... a wolf. 900 00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,320 There are five rules in this club. 901 00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,440 Five rules. 902 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,200 You have to memorize them all, OK? Right. 903 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:48,520 The first rule is... 904 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,600 This is important, OK? 905 00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,120 First rule of the club, first rule: 906 00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,440 We only accept married men. 907 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,120 Second club rule: 908 00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,520 No hooking up outside the club. 909 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:09,760 No, never! 910 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:11,800 Third club rule: 911 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,800 Falling in love with other women is not allowed. 912 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:17,440 Never! No! 913 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:19,520 Fourth club rule: 914 00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:21,520 We don't pay for sex. 915 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:26,400 We’re not killers! We’re hunters. 916 00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:30,600 And the fifth and most important: 917 00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,800 None of you are here. Not even Carlos is here. The club… 918 00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:36,560 does not exist. 919 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:39,040 Let’s go! 920 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,320 Start the bus, Antonio. Start it up, we’re on our way! 921 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,200 Tomatify! 922 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,120 Carlos and Juan were our unfinished business. 923 00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:00,240 They needed help. 924 00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:01,920 They were all watching me, 925 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:04,920 as if my success was their success. 926 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:20,840 Tonight's the night. 927 00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:22,560 See that, Carlitos? 928 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,160 Did you see that? 929 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,280 Doesn’t it give you butterflies in your stomach? 930 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,240 Give me some space, OK? 931 00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:31,440 Hey, Carlos. 932 00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,360 There’s Carlos! 933 00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,040 It's wall-to-wall pussy! 934 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,480 - I'm not upset. - Who are you mad at? 935 00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,440 - No-one. - What is it? 936 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:09,440 - Nothing! - What's wrong, you can tell me! 937 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,280 Hi, how’s it going? 938 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:15,120 Oh wow, pussy. 939 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:16,920 Cheers! 940 00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:24,480 I like it, I like it. 941 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:36,440 What the hell are you doing? 942 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:37,640 What? 943 00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:39,640 What do you mean, what? 944 00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,400 Juan having a ball! He's right there.... 945 00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,240 He's there! 946 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:45,880 He's up there! 947 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,040 Don’t touch me, David, don’t touch me, damn it. 948 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:49,360 Just a little push. 949 00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,640 It's just a push. 950 00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:51,720 Are they hookers? 951 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:52,840 Well... No! 952 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:53,960 They’re hookers... 953 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,360 They're ladies of the night. 954 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:56,560 They’re just... 955 00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,960 What the fuck were the rules for? 956 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,480 What was the fucking point? 957 00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,240 They weren’t rules, they were... advice. 958 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:11,360 Tonight we “tomatify” and scorify! 959 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:18,280 No. Not mine. Mine wasn’t a prostitute. 960 00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,360 Poor Juan. 961 00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,000 He really thought he had scored. 962 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:27,800 Was she a prostitute? 963 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,000 I don’t think it’s so bad. 964 00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,440 I realized I’d made another mistake. 965 00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,320 I said to hell with it all, and left. 966 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,240 But first, I look to my right and see Marcos 967 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,880 sucking some chick’s face, 968 00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,600 the same chick he met our first time in Lleida. 969 00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,120 Yeah, we knew, but.... 970 00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,840 He looked so in love... 971 00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,800 No, I wasn't in love at all. 972 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:55,440 Not yet. 973 00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,360 Falling in love wasn’t allowed? 974 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:00,960 I had no idea. 975 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,920 I didn’t know that rule. 976 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,320 There was only one rule really: the club doesn’t exist. 977 00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,960 On the way back to the hotel I felt sad, lonely, stressed... 978 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,240 things were bad with Silvia, the club wasn’t for me, I was screwed. 979 00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,880 So I went to the cocktail bar at the hotel 980 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,480 on the verge of a breakdown. 981 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,000 A glass of water, please. 982 00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:29,000 The pain in my chest was unbearable. And suddenly... 983 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:30,560 Isn’t that too much? 984 00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,760 No, it’s normal, it’s what my doctor recommends. 985 00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,160 Breathe, breathe! 986 00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:46,920 I’ve got it, I’ve got it. Are you OK? 987 00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:48,000 Yeah, thanks, thanks. 988 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:49,160 You’re in a bad way. 989 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:50,680 You're not OK. 990 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,000 I just need to... 991 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,600 And we just started talking. 992 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,120 I took the teacher’s advice: I listened. 993 00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:01,000 and I really liked her. 994 00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:06,520 She was gorgeous. And I hadn’t felt anything in so long... 995 00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,200 And then I started feeling 996 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:13,000 this overwhelming urge to kiss her. 997 00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:16,080 And a part of me was saying: “Kiss her.” 998 00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,320 "Come on, for Christ's sake, kiss her!" 999 00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:19,240 It was insane. 1000 00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:22,160 She invited me up to her room. 1001 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,440 And... I couldn’t say no. 1002 00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:31,280 Hey, it’s much later than I thought. 1003 00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:33,160 - I think I should... - It's late, come in. 1004 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:34,960 Does room service have Rivotril? 1005 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:35,760 I’m sure they do. 1006 00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:37,880 We reached the door, she took out her card, 1007 00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,560 opened the door, 1008 00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,960 I said I should go, but she pulled me inside. 1009 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,760 She let her hair down and tried to kiss me... 1010 00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:48,200 I told her I couldn’t, and left. 1011 01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:45,760 I came away feeling bad. 1012 01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:47,920 I had a good time but I felt bad. 1013 01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,920 We saw him leaving someone else’s room, we’d done it. 1014 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,360 He was in a state of shock. 1015 01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,240 I gave him 2 Rohypnols but he wouldn't take them. 1016 01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:57,000 We were all happy for him. 1017 01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:30,120 We got to Barcelona, I said goodbye to my friends. 1018 01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,480 I didn’t want to tell them anything, and suddenly... 1019 01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:34,960 I felt like… 1020 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,240 ...like... 1021 01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:39,520 “The force.” 1022 01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:40,320 The ego. 1023 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:41,760 Alternating current. 1024 01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:45,520 Like shit. 1025 01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:49,360 I got home, Silvia was asleep. 1026 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,080 She looked like an angel... 1027 01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,040 And I had the feeling of having a sign saying: 1028 01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:57,800 I have been unfaithful to you. 1029 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,040 I was at home when it happened. 1030 01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:01,280 The shit storm began. 1031 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,480 Right when I was about to get in bed... 1032 01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:07,560 Boom, my phone rings. 1033 01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:09,040 It was David. 1034 01:03:09,120 --> 01:03:11,320 I used club invoices as a tax deduction. 1035 01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:13,160 That cost us dearly. 1036 01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,600 A hotel sent a bill to my house and my wife gets suspicious 1037 01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:18,600 checks my wallet, my clothes... 1038 01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:20,680 finds nothing goes down to the car. 1039 01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,840 She checks the addresses on the GPS and there's one she doesn’t know. 1040 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,640 He called me in a panic saying his wife was heading to the club. 1041 01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,040 We had to stop her. 1042 01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,160 Juan checks the map, Carlos lived closest. 1043 01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,560 I felt like crying, I wanted to kill them. 1044 01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:37,840 He had to leave immediately. 1045 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,920 I told Silvia my boss was locked in the office and I ran. 1046 01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:43,600 His wife took the coast road. 1047 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:45,280 He had to go via the center 1048 01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:47,840 take exit 7, and he'd gain 5 minutes. 1049 01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:52,320 Finally I got into the club. I threw everything out the window: 1050 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,040 the packs, the printers, the photos from the trips. 1051 01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:56,720 Here in the sun visor. 1052 01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,400 That’s how my wife found the keys. 1053 01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:02,240 In one room I hid the foosball, the plasma screen, the videogames. 1054 01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:06,720 My wife got here, tried the door, it opened and she walked in. 1055 01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:08,680 I heard someone come in. 1056 01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,760 I was calling her but she wouldn’t pick up. 1057 01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:11,720 I went like this. 1058 01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:16,640 And I hid under the table, like a cockroach. 1059 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:18,440 Carlos was hiding in there. 1060 01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,720 Suddenly I see her looking in the wastebaskets 1061 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,120 getting closer to this one. 1062 01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,280 My wife was getting closer to where Carlos was hiding. 1063 01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,480 Like Jaws, you know? 1064 01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:31,320 She would see me! 1065 01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:34,320 I was about to die. 1066 01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,040 She looks in the basket. 1067 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,680 And at that moment… 1068 01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:39,320 She looks in the basket… 1069 01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:41,760 Her phone rings. 1070 01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:44,520 And it was David. 1071 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:45,840 That was it. 1072 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,240 We could have died… 1073 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:50,720 She apologized. 1074 01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,560 She hung up, started crying 1075 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,120 ...and she left. 1076 01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:07,720 So I got home, 1077 01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:09,960 Silvia was asleep. 1078 01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:17,960 I wanted to hug her so much. I was so scared of losing her. 1079 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,920 So I started stroking her 1080 01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,680 and I noticed she was uncomfortable, it wasn’t working. 1081 01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:27,920 And at that moment, 1082 01:05:29,320 --> 01:05:31,800 I realized she knew everything. 1083 01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,560 She said she was tired, she needed to sleep… 1084 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,960 and it took me hours to get to sleep 1085 01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:42,480 and next day when I opened my eyes 1086 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,480 I found her sitting on the edge of the bed. 1087 01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:50,680 And, feeling terrified, 1088 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,440 I asked her what was wrong. 1089 01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,000 Then she turned away. 1090 01:05:59,960 --> 01:06:01,960 She couldn’t even look me in the face. 1091 01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:05,320 She said she had to talk and … 1092 01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:08,480 and she said... 1093 01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,920 She said she’d been cheating on me for 3 months. 1094 01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:20,920 Carlos called, he had something important to tell me. 1095 01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,120 I couldn't understand it. 1096 01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,360 I was cheating on her, not her on me. 1097 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,680 I was so jealous, 1098 01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,480 but I couldn’t be mad at her 1099 01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,080 because I was cheating on her. 1100 01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:32,640 But I was very pissed off. 1101 01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,160 I went to see David because I had to talk. 1102 01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:39,360 David gave me this weird address I’d never been to in my life. 1103 01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:45,160 Password. 1104 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:46,640 What? 1105 01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:47,680 Password. 1106 01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:52,160 Come on. 1107 01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:55,560 Come in, Carlitos, it’s a joke. The club doesn’t exist. Come on. 1108 01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:57,640 Come in man, come in. 1109 01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:28,920 David? 1110 01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,080 Bravo! 1111 01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,200 Carlitos, I love you. 1112 01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:55,520 OK, OK! 1113 01:07:56,600 --> 01:07:57,480 OK. 1114 01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,600 It's good manners to say thank you, right Carlos? 1115 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,320 All the members of the club 1116 01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:05,000 want to thank you for what you did last night. 1117 01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:07,240 Your courage saved the club! 1118 01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:15,720 OK, OK. 1119 01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:21,000 We’ve decided to give you a year's free membership, and... 1120 01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:24,520 a commemorative medal: Honorary Member of the Club. 1121 01:08:28,399 --> 01:08:30,760 Speech, speech! 1122 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,359 No speeches, no speeches. 1123 01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:38,840 Carlos has always been a man of few words. 1124 01:08:41,359 --> 01:08:44,479 OK, alright. I'll speak. 1125 01:08:49,680 --> 01:08:50,880 I... 1126 01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:54,479 can't.... 1127 01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:56,880 I can't accept this medal. 1128 01:08:57,319 --> 01:08:59,279 - But thank you. - Carlos... 1129 01:08:59,399 --> 01:09:01,399 Look, David. I told you I wanted to talk. 1130 01:09:01,479 --> 01:09:02,279 What’s wrong? 1131 01:09:02,359 --> 01:09:04,359 The problem is, it doesn’t work. 1132 01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,680 Don’t you realize this is bullshit? The club is bullshit. 1133 01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:08,600 Let me speak! 1134 01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:11,520 Don't touch me! Don’t touch me! I want to speak! 1135 01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:13,040 - Dammit! - Let him speak! 1136 01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:19,800 It works for you because you’re not in love with your wives. 1137 01:09:20,319 --> 01:09:23,560 Sure David, but no. Don’t look at me like that. 1138 01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,520 Why did you get married? 1139 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:26,720 I was in love. 1140 01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,120 In love? You can't stand limits. 1141 01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:31,359 And look at you now, who are you? 1142 01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:33,880 King of the Unfaithful Husbands. 1143 01:09:33,960 --> 01:09:36,479 Do you like what you see? 1144 01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,399 What about you, Marcos? 1145 01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,120 You don't love your wife, you hate her, 1146 01:09:41,279 --> 01:09:44,880 You married her because your family pressured you to do it. 1147 01:09:44,960 --> 01:09:45,920 You don't love her. 1148 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,560 You fell in love with another woman! 1149 01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:48,439 No, no... 1150 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:50,200 Yes, Marcos! As for you Juan... 1151 01:09:51,359 --> 01:09:53,880 I can’t believe you did this to your wife! 1152 01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:55,680 Why did you do it? 1153 01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,960 Because the rest of us did? 1154 01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:02,360 And you, doctor... 1155 01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:07,760 You’re not tired of your wife, you’re tired of yourself. 1156 01:10:07,840 --> 01:10:09,840 Take my advice: see a psychiatrist. 1157 01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:14,400 We came up with a fucking great plan. 1158 01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,760 But our wives aren’t included. Awesome. 1159 01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:18,920 Such bullshit. 1160 01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,440 The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club. 1161 01:10:24,440 --> 01:10:27,880 Such crap! There are guys here who don’t even have girlfriends. 1162 01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:32,360 All those bullshit rules you made up. 1163 01:10:33,440 --> 01:10:35,240 What if our wives did the same? 1164 01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:37,680 Would they be “nice” too? 1165 01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:43,680 Goodbye. 1166 01:10:44,280 --> 01:10:45,120 Carlos, Carlos! 1167 01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,520 He’s not thinking straight, he’s on edge. 1168 01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:54,360 Bam! 1169 01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:57,880 Reality check... 1170 01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,440 It was terrible, terrible. 1171 01:11:01,920 --> 01:11:03,080 He was really mad. 1172 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:06,240 Yup. 1173 01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:13,040 I came out feeling devastated, but I knew what I had to do, 1174 01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:15,800 so I got home with one idea in my head. 1175 01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:17,360 We were a tight bunch. 1176 01:11:19,040 --> 01:11:20,400 Strong, solid. 1177 01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,000 When I got in Silvia was in the dining room, very upset. 1178 01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:29,200 And it was hard, but I told her to listen... 1179 01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:31,880 I told her everything. 1180 01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:35,560 The club, the nights out, 1181 01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:37,960 the girl in Lleida. 1182 01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,400 It was horrible. Horrible. 1183 01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,000 We didn't realize... 1184 01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:55,720 but Carlos had broken the only rule, the main rule. 1185 01:11:56,280 --> 01:11:59,000 The club doesn’t exist. 1186 01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:02,600 No, no. Silvia told no-one. No-one. 1187 01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:07,880 Well, yes, she told her best friend, 1188 01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:10,760 but he swore not to tell anyone. 1189 01:12:11,480 --> 01:12:18,160 But he told his girlfriend, and she told another five friends. 1190 01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,960 Those five friends told another five, and another five, 1191 01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,160 and another five, and another, and so on. 1192 01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:29,000 until it got back to the concierge at David and Ana’s building 1193 01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:33,240 The concierge told the story in incredible detail. 1194 01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:34,880 My wife got suspicious again. 1195 01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:38,120 She got in the car and came here. Again. 1196 01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:43,680 Ana was close friends with Ines, my... 1197 01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:46,960 My wife talked to Ines, Marcos’ wife. 1198 01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:50,000 And she told a friend, who told another, and another... 1199 01:12:50,080 --> 01:12:50,880 We were friends! 1200 01:12:50,960 --> 01:12:52,440 They all found out. 1201 01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,200 Good things never last. 1202 01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:55,680 We got caught. 1203 01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:56,680 Total crash. 1204 01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:57,760 It was terrible. 1205 01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,240 We raised the risk premium too high. 1206 01:13:01,280 --> 01:13:04,560 Your life is a house of cards. 1207 01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:07,240 One puff and… 1208 01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:09,200 It's gone. 1209 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,560 When I got home my wife was waiting to kill me. 1210 01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,400 43 marriages destroyed, including mine. 1211 01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:18,440 We were dropping like flies and the worst part was... 1212 01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:20,280 we didn’t know what to do. 1213 01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,080 My goddess left. 1214 01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:25,800 I’d never seen her look so sad, 1215 01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:28,960 and it was my fault. 1216 01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:32,160 Can we stop for a second? Please? 1217 01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:57,720 The next day, 1218 01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,320 when I finished work here. 1219 01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:02,920 Right here. 1220 01:14:03,400 --> 01:14:06,440 I tidied up and I was heading home and... 1221 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:12,640 Wow... 1222 01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:17,960 Not even a professional like myself could have seen it coming. 1223 01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:20,360 When we found out, it was too late. 1224 01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:23,440 My phone was ringing but I was welding, 1225 01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:25,520 with the machines going. 1226 01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:28,280 I didn’t realise they were going to... 1227 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:33,400 Carlos? Where’s Carlos? 1228 01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:42,400 They went berserk. 1229 01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:45,960 They were crazy. Crazy. 1230 01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:27,160 People were possessed by anger and guilt. 1231 01:15:27,320 --> 01:15:28,680 They needed to express it. 1232 01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:30,920 Maybe Carlos messed up, but... 1233 01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:33,240 But kill him? No way. 1234 01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:43,360 I swear by all the worldly pleasures... 1235 01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:45,720 by all the vices and all the booze... 1236 01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:47,960 that we will always be friends... 1237 01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,920 that we will always be friends... 1238 01:15:50,040 --> 01:15:51,960 that we will always be friends... 1239 01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:53,360 no matter what happens... 1240 01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:54,760 even if it’s bad... 1241 01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:56,240 however messed up you get. 1242 01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:57,960 Amen. 1243 01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:37,360 They came to rescue me! Holy shit! 1244 01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:39,840 I’ll never forget it. 1245 01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:44,960 We were angry too, but they wanted to kill him. 1246 01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:48,720 I thought I’d lost my friends,. 1247 01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:51,240 but it was the opposite. 1248 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:24,320 I had two teeth capped, five stitches, 1249 01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:26,920 one rib still gives me shooting pains, 1250 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:30,600 and swallowing is sometimes a little hard. 1251 01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:32,680 We would have been caught anyway, 1252 01:17:32,760 --> 01:17:34,240 because we'd lost our minds. 1253 01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:36,800 We’re not 10 years old, we’re grown-ups. 1254 01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,920 You join a cheaters club, you know what could happen: 1255 01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:41,680 your wife could catch you. 1256 01:17:41,760 --> 01:17:43,720 You have to accept responsibility. 1257 01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:45,720 The End. 1258 01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:48,520 What happened to our wives? 1259 01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,800 We had to get them back into our lives. 1260 01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:52,200 We all did what we could. 1261 01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:54,760 It had to come out some day. 1262 01:17:54,840 --> 01:17:58,240 I cheated on the cheaters: I didn’t sleep with that girl. 1263 01:17:59,080 --> 01:17:59,920 I faked it. 1264 01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:02,680 Please, leave me alone, I’m married, 1265 01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:04,040 Didn't you see the ring? 1266 01:18:04,240 --> 01:18:06,120 My wife forgave me on 3 conditions. 1267 01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:08,680 One: that I never do it again. 1268 01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:11,640 Two: we never talk about it again. 1269 01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:13,200 Three: 1270 01:18:14,480 --> 01:18:15,960 that I see a psychiatrist. 1271 01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:22,760 Here’s to fatty! All of them drinking, toasting! 1272 01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:23,920 It was awesome! 1273 01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:26,840 Well screw them, it was a lie. 1274 01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:30,280 I’m unfaithful, OK? 1275 01:18:30,520 --> 01:18:32,560 I say it straight out: I’m unfaithful. 1276 01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:36,480 No more masks and fronts and covering up. 1277 01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:38,520 What? 1278 01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:43,080 You think it’s funny for a shrink to see a shrink? 1279 01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,200 I want a wife who isn’t jealous, 1280 01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:49,520 who won’t mind if I sleep with other women 1281 01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:52,400 because I won’t mind if she sleeps with other men. 1282 01:18:52,480 --> 01:18:54,480 After the club, my wife divorced me. 1283 01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,120 I’m not getting married. 1284 01:18:56,240 --> 01:18:57,880 What about Lola? The girl I met... 1285 01:18:57,960 --> 01:18:58,960 ...on the trip? 1286 01:19:00,480 --> 01:19:02,720 When she heard about the club, she left me. 1287 01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:04,120 My wife forgave me. 1288 01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:07,920 She even took me out to one of those clubs. 1289 01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:09,240 a couples club. 1290 01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:11,920 and she said: “From now on, I’ll be your teacher.” 1291 01:19:12,320 --> 01:19:13,200 I’m single now. 1292 01:19:14,120 --> 01:19:17,400 Great men without wives: Gandhi, Jesus Christ, 1293 01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,080 Sherlock Holmes, Tintin... 1294 01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:21,000 Gandalf. 1295 01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,640 I’m meeting people now, on the Internet. 1296 01:19:25,600 --> 01:19:28,040 I uploaded some pics, now I’m waiting. 1297 01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:30,880 Great invention. "Internet." 1298 01:19:31,480 --> 01:19:32,640 Not bad. 1299 01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:36,880 I decided to take the teacher’s advice 1300 01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:38,360 to get her back. 1301 01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:39,440 “The Teacher.” 1302 01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:44,080 So, while she was still with her lover, 1303 01:19:44,920 --> 01:19:46,920 she started cheating on him with me. 1304 01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:50,600 In the end she left him and after our little encounters... 1305 01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:54,120 we’re expecting a baby. 1306 01:19:56,800 --> 01:19:59,880 We turned the record over. Now we're on the B-side. 1307 01:19:59,960 --> 01:20:00,880 My specialty. 1308 01:20:01,520 --> 01:20:02,360 The club? 1309 01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:04,280 What club? 1310 01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:09,960 The club doesn't exist. 1311 01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:37,280 Every woman thought her husband was in the club. 1312 01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:39,520 In their minds the club was a huge thing. 1313 01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:41,600 It sounded so good. 1314 01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:44,760 The Nice Unfaithful Husbands Club. 1315 01:22:45,560 --> 01:22:46,600 Like a movie. 1316 01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:49,880 We didn’t fly in a private jet. 1317 01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:52,360 We didn’t hypnotize women. 1318 01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:54,560 There was no initiation rite, 1319 01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:57,640 We didn’t make anyone tattoo the club logo on their penis. 1320 01:22:58,800 --> 01:23:01,640 We didn’t traffic women or deal drugs. 1321 01:23:02,600 --> 01:23:04,280 We didn't have 1000s of members, 1322 01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:07,400 and no way did we sell the franchise in the USA. 1323 01:23:08,280 --> 01:23:10,760 It’s not true Julio Iglesias was our patron. 1324 01:23:13,440 --> 01:23:14,960 Four friends goofing off. 1325 01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:16,920 It’s normal. 1326 01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:21,160 There are tribes where mothers sleep with their sons, 1327 01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:24,480 and it’s fine, the world keeps turning. 1328 01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,600 I hope all this gets the truth out there. 96152