Original subtitles

COINCOIN AND THE ALIENS EPISODE 2 - THE ALIENS

Hey, Fatty!

She's over there.

I told you, Coincoin. I've been onto it for hours.

Her family lives in Calais,

they come here every summer to the campground.

-They live in Calais and come here? -Yeah.

-That's strange. -Shall we see them?

Yeah, come on.

Her dad's secretary at Calais unit,

that's why Denis told me where they were.

It's his brother-in-law.

-That's Denis' niece? -Yes.

That's why she was at the meeting yesterday?

She's nice, my God.

Yeah.

Are you kidding? She's stunning.

Is someone spying on me there?

No, we're not like that. We're walking.

I know who you are.

-How do you know us? -My uncle Denis, yesterday.

I've heard about your doings.

-What section are you in? -Marquise, and you?

-Calais. -You live in Calais and you're here?

Got a problem with that?

You live here, you holiday here?

It's okay, I was just joking.

What's your name?

"Come back".

No, my name's Jenny. And you?

-I'm Coincoin. -I'm Fatty.

Been long at the unit?

-It's my second time. -Me too, and you?

First.

Is your dad secretary at Calais?

Yeah, he's napping.

Calais's cool.

The unit's heaving with everything that goes on.

It's calm here.

It's not far.

Yeah, it's just next to Calais.

You said that.

Who's that?

The boys with me yesterday, at the unit.

Can they come forward so I can see them?

So, you're walking in the campground, looking for fresh meat?

Idiots, they can't even reply.

Are you from our way, then?

-No, we're from here. -I mean the unit.

Sorry, I misunderstood.

-Yes, we're from here. -You're with Denis, then?

-Yes, we're with Denis. -What do you do with him?

We help him out with his work.

-For security. -And surveillance.

Like yesterday, with your daughter.

My daughter's been here a year, right, Jenny?

It's good, blood for the country.

Ah well, I'm off fishing. Boys,

take care of my girl, okay?

Hey, your dad...

What, my dad?

He's hard.

He's a man, you weaklings.

He's not like those other pansies.

You mean him.

Have you seen your nose?

Stop it. Calm down.

I'm off, then.

Where's your dad? Did he disappear?

He evaporated.

No, he's on his boat.

You're not with him?

No, I get seasick.

You gonna swim?

Are you kidding, it's freezing. I'm gonna go and tan.

Can we come with you?

The beach is for everyone.

Are you checking me out?

No.

I'm sweating, look.

Yeah, it's hot.

I'm hot.

What the hell is that?

What is that?

It's gross.

What's going on?

My new shorts, I just bought them! Damn!

It's gross!

There's glue falling from the sky.

Oh, man!

It's some kind of dung.

It stinks.

Yeah.

Don't look at me like that.

Look at him, looking at me.

Get out of here, you pervert.

Stop looking at me, get out of here.

He's crazy.

Maurice, you can't just look at the kids.

It's my turn.

-No, it's my turn. -We'll go together.

It's the same thing.

It's the jungle, sir. It's the jungle.

I know, Carpentier, but there, that's not a jungle.

It's a planet.

People aren't like that.

A cat is a cat after all, Carpentier.

It's an expression, sir, I was just saying.

I think it's a planet.

A planet is a planet, Carpentier.

Don't fall, sir. Be careful.

They're sad, these people, to come all the way here.

Look, sir.

It makes us sad seeing that, you know, Carpentier.

Getting all worked up about it won't change a thing.

That's why we prefer not to.

For that.

You're difficult to follow.

Very abstruse, sir.

Watch your manners!

That's what it means,

abstruse.

You finished, Carpentier?

You done being a fool?

See what happens when you insult a superior?

You're abstruse, sir. Abstruse.

Abstruse, yeah, okay then.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

What are you doing, sir?

They were helping me.

They were helping you? What a twisted world.

Is there any dung on this planet?

It's strange.

Dung falling everywhere but here.

They didn't note anything here, sir.

Hey, Carpentier.

It's strange.

Look at this.

I thought there was no glue.

There's the same glue here.

You find glue,

and you don't tell the police? What's that about?

-It's strange, isn't it? -These people,

how should they know?

What?

What are you saying?

You see, Carpentier.

They don't understand you.

He doesn't understand, yet I speak French well.

It's diesel, you were wrong.

I know what diesel is, Carpentier. For the car.

We need new cases, Carpentier.

We're getting nowhere with this one.

Let's go.

How does it work here?

You all good there?

Is there any dung here?

Everywhere but here.

Isn't it strange?

What the hell is this? Carpentier?

What the hell is this?

What's going on?

Coincoin, the big dope's here!

What are you doing here?

Look out for my girl.

I'm taking my girl.

Go stuff around somewhere else.

Coincoin, you got rejected there!

Weird, I hooked up with her, now she doesn't look at me.

You should have taken her to bed.

For once I pick up a decent one here.

As soon as they're hot, they're bitches.

Yeah, with an ugly girl it's easier.

I'm so unlucky.

My turn!

-Mine! -Mine!

No, my dad bought it for me for Christmas!

No, it's mine, you're just a cheat!

My dad's rich!

-No, my dad's rich! -No, it's my dad!

-No, my dad! -My dad!

It's mine, your dad's poor!

It's mine!

Your mom and your dad are both poor!

Get out of here!

How are you, Mr. Leleu?

Is that your vehicle in the garage?

Everything's in order, sir.

-It's crazy, this story. -Yes, Mr. Leleu.

It's bizarre.

-We pack up, we set up. -Yes.

We pack up what we set up.

What surprises me is that it's not order, it's disorder.

Okay, Mr. Leleu, make sure your car doesn't fly off.

Let's go, Carpentier.

You're already outside, Maurice?

-Yes. -Go on, you fat pig.

Sir.

What?

The sentence.

-Which sentence? -The one you said to the man?

It's not order,

it's disorder.

You didn't understand?

Isn't it the opposite?

What surprises me,

it's not disorder, it's order.

It's like recruiting at the police, Carpentier.

Force of order.

Are you surprised or not?

No.

There, you understand what I said.

You're not shocked.

Disorder is normal in the police.

Disorder, mess.

Let's go.

Hey, Coincoin.

I just found a pretty girl.

Great.

Yeah, great.

So great that she ditched me just after.

Life is beautiful. And you?

I just fixed a machine.

A real man.

With your girlfriend?

Cut it out, Coincoin.

You know that even with your girlfriend,

even though you're a dyke,

or whatever else,

I'll always love you,

and I think it's the same thing for you.

You understand?

What are you doing, Dany?

Didn't I just see you go past?

Did you go out the back?

What did you do? You're all burned.

Why are you groaning?

Come on, get up.

How did you get through?

Come on.

Relax.

How did you get through?

You were here and went to the other side?

Dany, what is going on?

I thought you were in bed. Come inside!

Dany, are you inside? Come on, off to bed.

Lucky there's

the police to take the people back to their place, right, Dany?

Otherwise it would be an almighty mess.

It must be hard for your brother, not knowing where he is.

If I'd disappeared, my brother would have been angry.

Do you have brothers, sir?

Are you mocking me?

Don't you see that he's not quite right?

He needs help.

I'd like to see you explain things to him, Carpentier.

Haven't you taken psychology courses in the police?

How long were you walking for, Dany?

Since yesterday.

Carpentier, can you help us out

by getting his brain back in order?

Come on!

Great.

Stop yelling.

Stop it.

Get back

onto two wheels.

Is that better? You finished being an idiot?

He'll throw us out of the car, you need to stop.

Stop being an idiot.

You're not well, are you?

You keep carrying on, after all we do for you.

You're taken in by the police, and you continue to be a fool.

He's got somewhere to be.

That's lightning, Dany.

What's going on? There was one Dany, now two.

Where's the second one from?

Mr. Leleu, we're bringing back one of your brothers.

Where were you? I've been searching.

You didn't tell me there were two.

Is there a twin?

Dany doesn't have a twin! Where'd you see that?

Where's the second Dany, Carpentier?

-Isn't that the second Dany? -Yes, second Dany.

There's one, and there's another one.

-That makes two. -Well spotted.

I have enough with one Dany.

Dany doesn't have brothers.

-You have two. -There's only one Dany!

Well, there are two.

One there, another over there.

The second is over there.

What?

One...

and two.

Have you been drinking...

I don't know, but I've only got one brother.

I think they've both had a stroke.

At the same time...

Right, Mr. Leleu?

It's possible.

Okay, let's go.

Come on, Dany. They're strange, these police.

Quick, Coincoin, quick!

Hey you, over there!

You think you're in the wild?

The cops, Fatty!

Let's do it!

Police!

This is the police!

In the name of the law, stop!

Damn!

I can't see anything.

It's night time.

It's not night time, sir.

You just got hit by alien glue.

But don't worry,

With the ground I'm gaining,

we'll catch them any second.

Now...

Police!

Stop!

You didn't catch the kids, Carpentier.

But you managed not to run people over.

Have you seen yourself, sir? You're all black.

Look

What are you doing?

We went to stick up a poster,

then the police came after us.

-We lost them. -What are you doing?

Like you, I'm working.

I'm joking, Coincoin. Learn how to laugh a bit.

We can't laugh anymore. I'm waiting for Denis.

You with him?

Is that okay with you?

What's up, losers? How was it?

You didn't do it all?

We didn't have time, we got chased by the police.

We'll finish tomorrow, Denis.

Tomorrow? Are you kidding, you'll never finish.

As soon as the police go somewhere else.

Haven't you had enough of making excuses?

Put them inside, I don't want to see them on the ground!

Let's go, Jenny.

Man, that's her uncle?

It's her uncle, end of story.

Damn!

-You're a jerk. -What are you doing, boys?

Going to Calais, you coming?

What for?

For a campfire, what do you think?

We need to spread the word.

-You gotta get your hands dirty. -Don't get burnt.

Hey Coincoin, are your eyes cold?

You're hard now.

Let's see if you've got it.

I can see that, father.

It's been falling for days.

It's not possible.

My sweet Jesus, that's the second cemetery.

Your sweet Jesus has nothing to do with it.

It's unexplainable.

There's a scientist onto it.

It's magma.

It's not from here, it's inhuman.

Right, Carpentier?

It's definitely not from here.

-It's an apocalypse. -My God!

The apocalypse. Yes, the apocalypse.

-My God, apocalypse. -My God.

-My God, apocalypse. -The apocalypse.

-The apocalypse. -Easy, sir.

Don't be so frank.

You'll scare the rascals.

You've got lots of kids there.

Right?

Carpentier!

What are you doing, Carpentier?

What are you doing, sir?

Are you stupid? With the kids?

-What does that mean? -Come on, kids.

Can't you see what's happening?

Good work, kids.

-Very good, very good. -Don't you realize?

Well done, kids.

Get out of my sight, kids! Go!

Get out of here!

Sir.

Did you see, sir? One of the kids got hit by glue.

He's black.

Come on, father.

Let's go.

We'll send a scientist to take some samples.

And you, don't get too close to the kids.

-Sorry? -Don't get too close to the kids?

-What are you trying to say?

The kids. You know.

It's dangerous.

Do you understand or not? No?

Oh, my God!

-We don't understand. -We don't understand.

-We didn't understand what... -What you're saying...

-Sir. -Sir.

Be careful.

-Right, Carpentier. -Yes.

With everything you hear.

With the pope and all.

-Who? -The pope?

-The pope? -The pope?

The pope.

-Pop? Pap? -The pope.

-The pope. -The pope.

No, not the pope.

The pedophile priests.

-Sorry? -Sorry?

-Let's go! -My God!

Have you finished screaming?

Have you finished screaming?

There are dead people.

Be careful.

Don't open them.

You can't disturb them, right, father?

Let's go.

-Bye, sir. -Bye, sir.

-Bye, sir. -Bye, sir.

You found a girlfriend?

In my distress, I cried out to him

The Lord fulfilled me

The Lord is there to defend me

I defied my enemies

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah

Announce that the Lord is good

Eternal is his love

So says the house of Israel

Eternal is his love

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

-Go and play. -Go and play.

Go and play, kids.

-Be quiet, kids. -Be quiet, kids.

You're already here?

-They're quick, the police. -Have you come to take samples?

We saw the major.

-The major. -The major.

Did you graduate, Dany?

You work at the police now?

You work at the police now.

-Same for Mr. Leleu. -Same for Mr. Leleu.

-You converted... -Converted to the police?

So, what about this glue coming from everywhere?

It's a crazy story.

-It's a story, the glue that falls... -That falls from everywhere.

-It's strange. -It's crazy.

-Hey, it's already dark. -It's already dark.

-It's dark, kids. -It's dark, kids.

-Come on, kids. -Come on.

-Otherwise you sleep in the church. -Hurry up.

Come on, kids.

You'll sleep in the church.

With the father.

That's a French kiss then?

Shut up, Coincoin.

-You harvesting with us tonight? -No.

I've been waiting an hour, Coincoin!

What are you doing?

You know where I live?

You think I'm stupid? I have a brain!

Close it, you'll swallow a fly.

You happy to see your girl?

My girl?

That's the second time for us then. You want a card?

-No. -No.

Coincoin!

Dany!

You okay?

You OK, Dany?

What's going on here?

It's not me, it's Dany.

And the girl?

You're driving with no license?

Yeah. But I turned off the lights

so I don't get seen.

You know before, with the farm door, I thought I would die.

Yeah, but we weren't underneath, it's okay.

Yeah.

You can leave me here.

You don't want me to go in and drop you off?

No, I'll walk. I need some time to think.

What's that, over there?

I don't know, a rainbow or something.

A rainbow at night? You're blind.

Lightning.

Lightning? Are you stupid or what?

It's something extraordinary.

It's nothing. Look, it's gone.

Must be gas.

-Gas? -A UFO, more like.

A UFO, here?

Okay, I have to go.

See you soon.

TO BE CONTINUED...

-What happened, sir? -It's me, Carpentier.

What happened, sir?

Subtitling: Hiventy