Original subtitles

Welcome.

You wanted me? Yeah, come on in, Brian.

Have a seat.

Have a seat with good old mom.

Yes?

I'm a little embarrassed.

And I'm sure you already know what this is about.

Oh, because you got something I didn't. Wait. Is that what? Is that what we're

talking about?

Yes, but I don't want to talk to it.

Look at what you're doing to me. I can't believe you came at me like that, son.

Listen.

I'm an adult, a woman, and I have needs, you know, and this is my house. I pay

rent and, you know, all that stuff.

So I just wanted to apologize because I thought you would be longer at the store

and you weren't. So I do apologize if you happen to visualize and see that

kind of thing.

But I'm not going to apologize for being a woman.

Gotcha. Okay. Oh great. That was great.

Um, I had a question to ask.

Okay. Um, met this girl on a dating site. Can I go hang out with her? Are

you fucking kidding me?

It was worth a try.

What did I tell you?

Mom, I'll be good.

Bullshit. Twice be goods.

We can't afford a third.

I can't afford a third. And you sure the hell can't afford a third. Are you?

Mom, I need something. This is so much tension building up. It's horrible.

Seriously, like, you're just really going crazy?

Are you seeing images?

Yeah, I'm seeing shit.

I can't have you going crazy on me or anything.

I'm seeing shit. But you can't, I cannot let you, okay, okay.

We're going to have to come up with some other plan because I'm not sending you

out there with women that, you know, that you just impregnate.

you don't even know their what do you even know their last names are they

reversed no no okay um i have an idea it's okay it's farfetched she's

out there but just you know between you and i mom and son adult adult you know

let me help you with your frustrations what do you mean just my hand just you

know i won't maybe i won't even look how would that be you want do you want to

try that yes

Okay, but you cannot tell anyone. Why would I tell somebody? Okay, well

because you're a teenager and that's what you guys do in college.

Yeah, yeah, my mom... Okay, okay, I understand, I understand. Okay, so,

okay.

Okay, hand.

Okay, hand.

Come on out, kiddo.

Alright, oh look, we match. Yeah? Green.

Okay. So, do you want me to look? I don't know, just... Is my hand cold?

It is cold. Okay.

I'm so sorry. Mom, this is not going to cut it.

What do you mean it's not going to cut it? Just give it a moment.

Shh. Think. Happy thoughts.

Think.

Happy thoughts.

Come on.

This is not going to cut it, Mom.

I see.

What's the problem?

It's your hand. I'm used to mouth or pussy.

Okay. We're not going to pussy, as you put it. Okay.

Okay. We can try the mouth.

All right.

Oh my lord.

Okay.

That

is

feeling real.

Mm hmm.

Mama still isn't going to cut it all the way.

What are you talking about? Your dick is hard.

I know.

You're not going to come?

No.

Now I'm stumped. Now what?

I don't know.

I'm not going to tell anybody.

Of course not. We already established that.

Let me just have some sex.

with this mom, but I'm still not gonna cut it.

Alright, fine.

Let's have sex.

You have a condom, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Oh my goodness.

How are we gonna do this?

Like, well, how do you like it?

I guess I could say. Do you like tits? I'd love to. I really want you to come,

because I don't know how long you can do this for.

I don't either.

Okay, now what?

I don't know.

She wanted to be sexy for my son.

Ooh, baby, yes.

How's that?

Oh, lay on the bed. Lay on the bed. Okay.

Okay.

Whew.

Okay.

Take a piece off.

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Okay. I'm a little nervous.

Oh god. Ah!

Okay.

There we go.

Gosh, I mean, you're sexy.

I mean, you're looking.

Oh, yes.

Wow, am I supposed to like it?

I don't know. Are you?

I don't know. It's going to relieve the tension. Oh, God.

Let's get some heat.

Don't tell me it was...

Well, I think I might need to stay here for a moment.

Oh my, I can't believe how wet I am.

Wow.

Hey, Mom. I'm home.

Hey, honey.

I guess you used the same box of condoms as you did the other girls, huh?

You're going to be a daddy. What do you think?

Thank you.

You wanted me? Yeah, come on in, Brian.

Have a seat.

Have a seat with good old mom.

Yes?

I'm a little embarrassed.

And I'm sure you already know what this is about.

Oh, because you got something I didn't. Wait. Is that what? Is that what we're

talking about?

Yes, but I don't want to talk to it.

Look at what you're doing to me. I can't believe you came at me like that, son.

Listen.

I'm an adult, a woman, and I have needs, you know, and this is my house, I pay

rent, you know, all that stuff.

So I just wanted to apologize because I thought you would be longer at the store

and you weren't. So I do apologize if you happen to visualize and see that

kind of thing.

But I'm not going to apologize for being a woman.

Gotcha. Okay. Oh, great. That was great.

All good?

I had a question to ask.

Okay. Met this girl on a dating site. Can I go hang out with her?

Are you fucking shitting me?

It was worth a try.

What did I tell you?

Mom, I'll be good.

Bullshit! Twice be goods!

We can't afford a third.

I can't afford a third, and you sure the hell can't afford a third? Are you...

Mom, I need something. This is so much tension building up. It's horrible.

Seriously, like, you're just really going crazy? Are you seeing images?

Yeah, I'm seeing shit.

I can't have you going crazy on me or anything.

I'm seeing shit.

But you can't, I cannot let you, okay, okay.

We're going to have to come up with some other plan because I'm not sending you

out there with women that, you know, that you just impregnate.

You don't even know their... Do you even know their last names?

Are they reversed?

No. No. Okay. I have an idea.

It's a... Okay.

It's far-fetched. It's out there. But just, you know, between you and I, mom

and son, adult, adult, you know, let me help you with your frustrations.

What do you mean? Just my hand. Just, you know, maybe I won't even look.

How would that be?

Do you want to try that?

Yes.

Okay, but you cannot tell anyone. Why would I tell somebody? Okay, well

because you're a teenager and that's what you guys do in college.

Yeah, yeah, my mom... Okay, okay, I understand, I understand. Okay, so,

okay.

Okay, hand.

Okay, hand. Come on out, kiddo.

Alright, oh look, we match. Yeah? Green.

Okay, so do you want me to look? I don't know, just... Is my hand cold?

It is cold. Okay.

I'm so sorry. Mom, this is not going to cut it.

What do you mean it's not going to cut it? Just give it a moment.

Shh. Think. Happy thoughts.

Think.

Happy thoughts.

Come on.

This is not going to cut it, Mom.

I see.

What's the problem?

It's your hand. I'm used to mouth or pussy.

Okay. We're not going to pussy as you put it. Okay.

Okay. We can try the mouth.

All right.

Oh my lord.

Okay.

That is feeling real.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mama still isn't going to cut it all the way.

What are you talking about? Your dick is hard.

I know.

You're not going to come?

No.

Now I'm stumped. Now what?

I don't know.

I'm not going to tell anybody.

Of course not. We already established that.

Let me just have some sex.

with this mom, but I'm still not gonna cut it.

Alright, fine.

Let's have sex.

You have a condom, right?

Yeah.

Okay. Oh my goodness.

How are we gonna do this?

Like, well, how do you like it?

I guess I could say. Do you like tits? I really want you to come, because I don't

know how long you can do this for.

I don't either.

Okay, now what?

I don't know.

She wanted to be sexy for my son.

Ooh, baby, yes.

How's that?

Oh, lay on the bed. Lay on the bed. Okay.

Okay.

Whew.

Okay.

Take a piece off.

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Okay. I'm a little nervous.

Oh god. Ah!

Okay.

There we go.

Gosh, I mean, you're sexy.

I mean, you're looking.

Oh, yes.

Wow, am I supposed to like it?

I don't know. Are you?

I don't know. It's going to relieve the tension. Oh, God.

Feels good to me.

I need a buzz.

I can't believe how wet I am.

Wow.

Hey, Mom. I'm home.

Hey, honey.

I guess you used the same box of condoms as you did the other girls, huh?

You're gonna be a daddy. What do you think?