Original subtitles

Some people kind of branch just recreational birding and then some

recreational birding and then some people branch into listing.

People branch into listing. [Music]

Why does the van need maintenance? Because we put 30,000 miles on it.

Because we put 30,000 miles on it. Why did we put 30,000 miles on it?

Why did we put 30,000 miles on it? Because we're trying to find as many

Because we're trying to find as many birds as we can.

Birds as we can. Why are we trying to find as many birds

Why are we trying to find as many birds as we can?

As we can? That I don't know. I don't know the

That I don't know. I don't know the question to that or the answer to that

question to that or the answer to that question yet.

Question yet. [Music]

[Music] She won't explore my pants. I say old

She won't explore my pants. I say old enough to be

enough to be like

like [Music]

[Music] me. I mean

the car and I'll be out luxury women [Music]

where the treasure is. She impressed by a high school in the registry. She going

a high school in the registry. She going [Music]

[Music] back on it.

What's up? This here would be my older brother

This here would be my older brother Quinton. And last year he was diagnosed

Quinton. And last year he was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of early

with a rare and aggressive form of early onset bird watcher. Highly contagious. I

onset bird watcher. Highly contagious. I caught it, too.

Caught it, too. What is this whole project you're

What is this whole project you're working on?

Working on? Oh, this is going to be a guide book

Oh, this is going to be a guide book about all the birds that we saw last

about all the birds that we saw last year.

Year. It's all going to be like accurate,

It's all going to be like accurate, scientifically accurate, I'm guessing.

Scientifically accurate, I'm guessing. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. One day I got high and found the

One day I got high and found the family's bird guide book. And I thought

family's bird guide book. And I thought about how crazy it would be if you knew

about how crazy it would be if you knew all the birds in that book. Just how

all the birds in that book. Just how insane that is.

Insane that is. You see, neither of us knew much about

You see, neither of us knew much about birds. And we didn't know much about

birds. And we didn't know much about bird watchers.

Bird watchers. I think like most people from the

I think like most people from the outside, when we saw them, we would take

outside, when we saw them, we would take note about what they're wearing

note about what they're wearing or their age or the stuff they're

or their age or the stuff they're wearing. So, we decided we'd try the

wearing. So, we decided we'd try the most extreme form of bird watching

most extreme form of bird watching because well,

because well, cuz that's a great way to learn about

cuz that's a great way to learn about something is to try to just do it at

something is to try to just do it at like the highest level. You know,

like the highest level. You know, a big year in birding is seeing as many

a big year in birding is seeing as many species as you can in one calendar year.

Species as you can in one calendar year. January 1st to December 31st.

January 1st to December 31st. The modifier is well where. So you could

The modifier is well where. So you could have a world big year. You could have an

have a world big year. You could have an ABA area big year. You could have a

ABA area big year. You could have a lower 48 big year.

Lower 48 big year. Someone did like a naked big year. I

Someone did like a naked big year. I don't like where they only counted birds

don't like where they only counted birds that they saw while they were naked. I'm

that they saw while they were naked. I'm from northern Wisconsin, so I got myself

from northern Wisconsin, so I got myself pretty used to being naked in cold

pretty used to being naked in cold weather for a while. I think I do better

weather for a while. I think I do better birding. I know I get closer to wildlife

birding. I know I get closer to wildlife for some reason. Feel like I'm one with

for some reason. Feel like I'm one with nature when I'm when I'm walking in the

nature when I'm when I'm walking in the woods.

Woods. I feel like the lower 48 sort of ABA is

I feel like the lower 48 sort of ABA is the the money of how many birds you can

the the money of how many birds you can see in a year.

See in a year. For the lower 48, the number to beat is

For the lower 48, the number to beat is 751.

751. Typical experience level of somebody who

Typical experience level of somebody who does a big year is usually way beyond

does a big year is usually way beyond your guys's level. According to this

your guys's level. According to this study on extreme bird watchers, the type

study on extreme bird watchers, the type of person to compete in a big year has

of person to compete in a big year has already been birding for 24 years and on

already been birding for 24 years and on average can identify a [ __ ] ton of

average can identify a [ __ ] ton of birds. We only knew a couple.

Birds. We only knew a couple. You thought every time you see a little

You thought every time you see a little brown bird, it's called a chickity. Like

brown bird, it's called a chickity. Like you got bald eagle, you got the

you got bald eagle, you got the cardinal, you got the great blue heron,

cardinal, you got the great blue heron, and then you got those are just

and then you got those are just chickadies. You know,

chickadies. You know, the rules of this game are pretty

the rules of this game are pretty simple. The bird must be in the lower 48

simple. The bird must be in the lower 48 or up to 200 m offshore.

Or up to 200 m offshore. The bird must be one of the species

The bird must be one of the species deemed countable by the American Birding

deemed countable by the American Birding Association. The bird must be alive,

Association. The bird must be alive, wild, and unrestrained.

Wild, and unrestrained. And the bird must be seen, heard, or

And the bird must be seen, heard, or documented. It's all based on the honor

documented. It's all based on the honor system.

System. And we live the entire year on the road

And we live the entire year on the road inside a 2010 Kia Sedona doing nothing

inside a 2010 Kia Sedona doing nothing but look at birds for the whole year.

But look at birds for the whole year. [Music]

That looks about right. [Music]

[Music]

A big part of this whole deal is Eird. Bird watchers have a little e boner for

Bird watchers have a little e boner for this software.

This software. It's a crowdsourced log book where you

It's a crowdsourced log book where you list every bird that you saw and you

list every bird that you saw and you check where everyone else is seeing

check where everyone else is seeing theirs. And of course, there's a

theirs. And of course, there's a leaderboard. They run a tight ship over

leaderboard. They run a tight ship over at EIRD. One of the first times we

at EIRD. One of the first times we submitted a checklist on EIRD, thought

submitted a checklist on EIRD, thought we saw a golden eagle.

We saw a golden eagle. One of the EIRD cops got back at us

One of the EIRD cops got back at us pretty much immediately and let us know

pretty much immediately and let us know it was a red shouldered hawk.

It was a red shouldered hawk. Oh yeah, I know exactly what that is.

Oh yeah, I know exactly what that is. Translucent buffy primary crescent. All

translucent buffy primary crescent. All right,

right, that was kind of our awakening to um you

that was kind of our awakening to um you know what this is.

Know what this is. [Applause]

What are we cranking on here? [ __ ] We're cranking on shortirds right

[ __ ] We're cranking on shortirds right now. And I did study up last night. I

now. And I did study up last night. I did look in the book at all the, you

did look in the book at all the, you know, the dough witchers, the short

know, the dough witchers, the short build this, the long build that, the

build this, the long build that, the this kind of sandpiper, the [ __ ] semi

this kind of sandpiper, the [ __ ] semi this, the greater that clover. You know,

this, the greater that clover. You know, it's

it's it's going to be tough, but that's what

it's going to be tough, but that's what we're here for.

[Music]

Someone on the outside might think all these shorebirds are just little brown

these shorebirds are just little brown birds that all look identical to each

birds that all look identical to each other. And they're right. That's that's

other. And they're right. That's that's kind of the whole thing. That really

kind of the whole thing. That really could be our guy.

Could be our guy. Tiny brownish sandpiper.

Tiny brownish sandpiper. [Applause]

[Applause] H. It was piping sand, wasn't it? That

H. It was piping sand, wasn't it? That thing was piping sand all day. We would

thing was piping sand all day. We would just take a picture of a bird that we

just take a picture of a bird that we saw that we're like, "That's that one's

saw that we're like, "That's that one's got to be new.

Got to be new. I'm pretty sure that one's different."

I'm pretty sure that one's different." We would just take so many pictures of

We would just take so many pictures of birds and then at night in the minivan

birds and then at night in the minivan in the parking lot, we would just go

in the parking lot, we would just go over our findings, our data, and we

over our findings, our data, and we would make confident identifications and

would make confident identifications and we would report our findings on EI.

We would report our findings on EI. No black. No black. No black. Now, what

No black. No black. No black. Now, what is that on the tip of the bill there?

Is that on the tip of the bill there? Uh, that that's a little bit of black.

Uh, that that's a little bit of black. That's a little bit. Now, this is some X

That's a little bit. Now, this is some X file [ __ ] right here.

File [ __ ] right here. This is

This is I think that's four white tail feathers.

I think that's four white tail feathers. Would you agree?

Would you agree? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Let's run that back again.

Let's run that back again. It's dark. It's got a dark bill.

It's dark. It's got a dark bill. Got that weird kind of wonky bill there.

Got that weird kind of wonky bill there. [Music]

Like any subculture, burden comes with its own lingo. And at the top of that

its own lingo. And at the top of that list, lifer.

List, lifer. I'm trying to get lifers for my life. My

I'm trying to get lifers for my life. My life.

Life. No lier. No lier.

Just got my lifer. Black swift. A lifer is when someone sees a bird for

A lifer is when someone sees a bird for the first time. But my problem with it

the first time. But my problem with it is that it always makes it about the

is that it always makes it about the person, right? It's never about the bird

person, right? It's never about the bird that they see. They're just like, "Oh, I

that they see. They're just like, "Oh, I got 10 lifers on this trip.

Got 10 lifers on this trip. I just got my lier cave swallowed."

But it's exciting when you see a new bird. I don't think that's something to

bird. I don't think that's something to disregard.

Disregard. Yeah.

[Music]

Roll that up. Every time you find something you

Every time you find something you haven't seen before, there's this

haven't seen before, there's this feeling of discovery and like sure like,

feeling of discovery and like sure like, yeah, it's probably been documented

yeah, it's probably been documented before and maybe not be a true discovery

before and maybe not be a true discovery in the sense of like never been seen,

in the sense of like never been seen, but like for you in that moment, yeah,

but like for you in that moment, yeah, it's it's a discovery. You're seeing

it's it's a discovery. You're seeing something new to you that has you've

something new to you that has you've never been able to witness before.

Never been able to witness before. Nowhere is this more clear than the

Nowhere is this more clear than the comment section of an EIRD checklist.

Comment section of an EIRD checklist. You'll see people describing a bird

You'll see people describing a bird with, you know, sometimes full

with, you know, sometimes full paragraphs. They describe it like it's a

paragraphs. They describe it like it's a huge scientific finding and they're

huge scientific finding and they're reporting it for the first time and like

reporting it for the first time and like you know this is going back to the

you know this is going back to the president. You know this is Lewis and

president. You know this is Lewis and Clark sending their findings back to

Clark sending their findings back to Thomas Jefferson.

Thomas Jefferson. They are fun to read. We first noted the

They are fun to read. We first noted the facial features. It appeared large

facial features. It appeared large headed with a rather large conicle bill.

Headed with a rather large conicle bill. The head was washed green and the bird

The head was washed green and the bird showed a narrow but distinct eye ring.

Showed a narrow but distinct eye ring. Excluding the nape, the upper parts

Excluding the nape, the upper parts appeared nearly scalloped. The pattern

appeared nearly scalloped. The pattern sort of strikes me as resembling an ear

sort of strikes me as resembling an ear of corn.

Yellow throat patch. Little yellow throat patch. Um,

Little yellow throat patch. Um, definitely fullbodied, like heavybodied.

Definitely fullbodied, like heavybodied. Heavy-bodied. Conspicuous blue

Heavy-bodied. Conspicuous blue streaking. Yeah.

Streaking. Yeah. Conspicuous smell to it, too. I mean,

Conspicuous smell to it, too. I mean, Heat. Heat.

Heat. Heat. [Music]

[Music] What are your thoughts on birding right

What are your thoughts on birding right now?

Now? Well, birding's fine. Honestly, it's

Well, birding's fine. Honestly, it's just van life, dude.

Just van life, dude. I think a lot of people romanticize

I think a lot of people romanticize living in a vehicle and, you know, the

living in a vehicle and, you know, the mountains are calling and I must go and

mountains are calling and I must go and it's not exactly like that. It really

it's not exactly like that. It really sucks, actually.

Sucks, actually. Here we are in the van. What are we

Here we are in the van. What are we doing right now? We're taping up the uh

doing right now? We're taping up the uh windows here so the

windows here so the so the [ __ ] can't get in.

So the [ __ ] can't get in. Duct tape in every nook and cranny.

Duct tape in every nook and cranny. Every It's like you need air flow. You

Every It's like you need air flow. You still need air to survive.

Still need air to survive. I'm getting it tonight.

I'm getting it tonight. And it's 100 [ __ ] degrees all the

And it's 100 [ __ ] degrees all the time.

Time. Haven't showered in 10 [ __ ] days.

Haven't showered in 10 [ __ ] days. Haven't showered in 10 days. Smell like

Haven't showered in 10 days. Smell like a sewer. The mosquitoes are eating my

a sewer. The mosquitoes are eating my ass.

Ass. [ __ ] this. No air flow, dude. This is

[ __ ] this. No air flow, dude. This is bird watching,

bird watching, dude. Holy [ __ ] Mosquitoes love to be

dude. Holy [ __ ] Mosquitoes love to be inside your van.

Inside your van. Quinton and I are road trip veterans,

Quinton and I are road trip veterans, decorated lieutenants. And we have one

decorated lieutenants. And we have one rule. Never pay to sleep. But when

rule. Never pay to sleep. But when you're hours from public land where the

you're hours from public land where the forests have been traded for strip

forests have been traded for strip malls, you've got to get creative.

Malls, you've got to get creative. Thank you, Colin Cracker. Thank

Thank you, Colin Cracker. Thank Memorial. Kinder, can I help you? Uh, I

Memorial. Kinder, can I help you? Uh, I was wondering what your guys's policy

was wondering what your guys's policy was on overnight parking.

Was on overnight parking. So, we allow it. Um, I think it's uh I

So, we allow it. Um, I think it's uh I don't know how many days you can stay,

don't know how many days you can stay, but I know you we do allow it.

But I know you we do allow it. Do you have to eat in the restaurant in

Do you have to eat in the restaurant in order to

order to You don't have to eat at all. You just

You don't have to eat at all. You just pull one up. You'll be all good.

Pull one up. You'll be all good. The Cracker Barrel parking lot. Last

The Cracker Barrel parking lot. Last year, we spent 42 nights under the warm

year, we spent 42 nights under the warm neon hum of the barrel.

Neon hum of the barrel. My tummy kind of

My tummy kind of is a place where you can study the full

is a place where you can study the full range of human plumage. No binoculars

range of human plumage. No binoculars needed. It's [ __ ] 5:30 a.m.

needed. It's [ __ ] 5:30 a.m. It's been about 40 minutes of him

It's been about 40 minutes of him screaming on the phone. This is how I

screaming on the phone. This is how I woke up.

If you been [ __ ] this man, if you've been [ __ ] this man, if you

been [ __ ] this man, if you Yeah. So, they evacuated the Cracker

Yeah. So, they evacuated the Cracker Barrel and we think somebody died

Barrel and we think somebody died inside. Either there was a murder or the

inside. Either there was a murder or the country gravy got somebody

country gravy got somebody [Music]

[Music] from the grits to the gallows, you know.

[Music] While in Florida, we took the

While in Florida, we took the opportunity to study the mindset we

opportunity to study the mindset we would need to hang with the big dogs.

Would need to hang with the big dogs. No, we don't sleep in our car.

No, we don't sleep in our car. We're too old.

We're too old. No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no. Gosh, they've got just about every

Gosh, they've got just about every record down pat. They're the top burers

record down pat. They're the top burers in the US and everywhere.

In the US and everywhere. And actually, going back to our

And actually, going back to our accomplishments, actually, one thing I

accomplishments, actually, one thing I actually forgot. Nobody has more

actually forgot. Nobody has more photographs of birds in the United

photographs of birds in the United States than Tammy and I. We're the only

States than Tammy and I. We're the only uh people to go over 700 birds six

uh people to go over 700 birds six times. Uh and we did it six consecutive

times. Uh and we did it six consecutive years in a row. You know, like I said,

years in a row. You know, like I said, we've been number one in the ABA several

we've been number one in the ABA several times. We've been number one in the

times. We've been number one in the lower 48.

Lower 48. Um been number two a couple times, too.

Um been number two a couple times, too. And

And which kills him, I want you to know.

Which kills him, I want you to know. Just kills him. if there was a

Just kills him. if there was a competition for who brushed their teeth

competition for who brushed their teeth the best, he would enter the competition

the best, he would enter the competition and win. I mean, he loves competitions.

And win. I mean, he loves competitions. So,

So, I'm I'm consistently ranked number one

I'm I'm consistently ranked number one in our office and, you know, in our

in our office and, you know, in our area, uh, you know, for my occupation.

Area, uh, you know, for my occupation. Uh, our light show is the biggest light

Uh, our light show is the biggest light show in Southwest Florida, you know, so

show in Southwest Florida, you know, so it's just part of my nature. I mean, I

it's just part of my nature. I mean, I can't help it. That's how I am.

Can't help it. That's how I am. How did the light show start? How did

How did the light show start? How did you get started doing the light show?

You get started doing the light show? And there was a a house in Cape Coral, a

And there was a a house in Cape Coral, a town near us that um kind of had a a

town near us that um kind of had a a production light show to music. And he

production light show to music. And he was like, "Hold on a minute. I got to go

was like, "Hold on a minute. I got to go talk to this guy." And I thought, "Oh

talk to this guy. "And I thought," Oh

talk to this guy." And I thought, "Oh no."

no." Neil Monkman is hard at work

Neil Monkman is hard at work putting the finishing touches on what he

putting the finishing touches on what he says will be the largest Christmas light

says will be the largest Christmas light display in Southwest Florida.

Display in Southwest Florida. Do you have a better light show now than

Do you have a better light show now than that guy?

That guy? Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Of course.

Of course. [Music]

[Music] [Applause]

I'm not even sure that gentleman still does a lot.

Does a lot. Actually, I think I think last year

Actually, I think I think last year might have been his last year.

Might have been his last year. [Applause]

[Music]

Get out

[Music]

In the beginning, we didn't know what was rare and what was common. We made a

was rare and what was common. We made a 40-minute detour to get our lifer great

40-minute detour to get our lifer great tailed grale. Turns out they live in

tailed grale. Turns out they live in every gas station dumpster west of the

every gas station dumpster west of the Mississippi.

Hell, they're even in the gas stations. That away.

That away. There we go.

There we go. Beautiful.

Beautiful. Get the door for this, man. That's good

Get the door for this, man. That's good work.

Work. That's good work, man. That's That's

That's good work, man. That's That's good. That's not your first time doing

good. That's not your first time doing that. Do

that. Do you know what type of bird that is?

You know what type of bird that is? It's a little black bird.

It's a little black bird. We were blind out there, but then we got

We were blind out there, but then we got let in on the secret. The rare bird

let in on the secret. The rare bird email chain.

Email chain. A rare bird native to South America has

A rare bird native to South America has been spotted in downtown Corpus Christie

been spotted in downtown Corpus Christie and it has dozens of bird enthusiasts

and it has dozens of bird enthusiasts flocked into the area to try and catch a

flocked into the area to try and catch a glimpse.

Glimpse. Out here catching a rare bird and uh you

Out here catching a rare bird and uh you know it's never the place you think it'd

know it's never the place you think it'd be in the woods or anything like that.

Be in the woods or anything like that. This time it's at an oyster bar. So, and

This time it's at an oyster bar. So, and again this is a bird that's uh Brazil or

again this is a bird that's uh Brazil or supposed to be in Brazil.

Supposed to be in Brazil. Again, not in Brazil. This is uh Corpus

Again, not in Brazil. This is uh Corpus Christi, Texas. Uh unfinished city. Lots

Christi, Texas. Uh unfinished city. Lots of construction. I like to call it

of construction. I like to call it Porcas Krispy, Texas. I think they do a

Porcas Krispy, Texas. I think they do a lot of barbecue here. So

[Music]

I don't mean to sound the alarm, but I think we may have just hit 200.

Think we may have just hit 200. [Music]

[Music] 200 bird 200.

The best bird watching in the country. It's near the southern border where Big

It's near the southern border where Big Brother has a pair of binoculars

Brother has a pair of binoculars himself.

Himself. South Texas, southern Arizona, home to

South Texas, southern Arizona, home to birds you won't find anywhere else.

Birds you won't find anywhere else. The more you know, man.

The more you know, man. I thought it was like a rare bird or

I thought it was like a rare bird or something.

Something. Yeah, for real. I remember talking to

Yeah, for real. I remember talking to one guy and he was like, "Yeah, you have

one guy and he was like, "Yeah, you have trouble seeing them." He was like,

trouble seeing them." He was like, "Yeah, they're hard to see." It's like,

"Yeah, they're hard to see." It's like, "I guess not.

"I guess not. They're just coming out of the woodwork.

They're just coming out of the woodwork. They're [ __ ] making them here.

They're [ __ ] making them here. [Applause]

Where are we meeting these guys? Oh, we're going to meet them at a

Oh, we're going to meet them at a grocery store parking lot, of course. I

grocery store parking lot, of course. I mean, every good deal I've ever done has

mean, every good deal I've ever done has gone down in a parking lot. So,

gone down in a parking lot. So, uh, so Fruing Meow is a really, really

uh, so Fruing Meow is a really, really cool bird. It's actually my phone

cool bird. It's actually my phone background.

Background. Oh, sick.

Oh, sick. And uh it's one of the smallest owls

And uh it's one of the smallest owls native to the United States. I think

native to the United States. I think it's only bigger than elf owl and

it's only bigger than elf owl and northern pygmy owl.

Northern pygmy owl. If you stand in one spot down here for

If you stand in one spot down here for more than a couple minutes, someone with

more than a couple minutes, someone with a badge is bound to show up.

A badge is bound to show up. Telling them you're looking for a

Telling them you're looking for a fugenous pygmy owl,

fugenous pygmy owl, that's not helping.

That's not helping. Kind of all receded back into the King

Kind of all receded back into the King Ranch. And if you want to go see one on

Ranch. And if you want to go see one on there, cost you a cost you a buck or

there, cost you a cost you a buck or two. So, we're gonna go see one for

two. So, we're gonna go see one for free.

Free. Um, if we don't know whose vehicle it is

Um, if we don't know whose vehicle it is and it's been longer than an hour, I

and it's been longer than an hour, I tend to notify management and then

tend to notify management and then management's pretty good about calling

management's pretty good about calling uh to go truck.

Uh to go truck. How long have you been homeschooled?

How long have you been homeschooled? Oh, man. Uh, like a year? No, like three

Oh, man. Uh, like a year? No, like three years actually.

Years actually. Nice.

Nice. And it's specifically so you can go

And it's specifically so you can go birding.

Birding. Yes, sir. Dude,

Yes, sir. Dude, how many birds have you seen in your

how many birds have you seen in your life?

Life? Like 900 species, something like that.

Like 900 species, something like that. [ __ ] [ __ ]

For me, a big year really pushes you into the the scavenger hunt mode of

into the the scavenger hunt mode of birding where you're trying to get out

birding where you're trying to get out and find as much as possible. gets me to

and find as much as possible. gets me to go to new places and places that I

go to new places and places that I probably wouldn't necessarily otherwise

probably wouldn't necessarily otherwise go to like random sewage pond in the

go to like random sewage pond in the middle of nowhere or super remote canyon

middle of nowhere or super remote canyon up some long gravel road, you know, like

up some long gravel road, you know, like I wouldn't wouldn't just find myself in

I wouldn't wouldn't just find myself in those places unless I was looking for

those places unless I was looking for that one specific bird.

[Music]

[Music] We just got the news here that uh we are

We just got the news here that uh we are in the top 100 burgers in the country

in the top 100 burgers in the country right now. Look at that. Number 99.

Right now. Look at that. Number 99. Woo!

Woo! [Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Applause] A less common owl, the snowy owl, nests

A less common owl, the snowy owl, nests near the Arctic Circle. Only during

near the Arctic Circle. Only during severe winters do these owls go

severe winters do these owls go southward as far as the United States,

southward as far as the United States, and then usually only as far as the

and then usually only as far as the northern states.

Northern states. [Applause]

[Music] The Sax and Bug itself has actually been

The Sax and Bug itself has actually been a very well-known place to see northern

a very well-known place to see northern owls and winter finches for decades. But

owls and winter finches for decades. But there was no protection. This was just a

there was no protection. This was just a vast area, 300 square miles of just

vast area, 300 square miles of just county land, state land. black spruce

county land, state land. black spruce logging was increasing and we said, you

logging was increasing and we said, you know, we, you know, this place needs a

know, we, you know, this place needs a voice. And so we started friends exit

voice. And so we started friends exit bog in 2011. Decided to buy up as much

bog in 2011. Decided to buy up as much land as we could and and now we're at

land as we could and and now we're at about 25,000 acres preserved for future

about 25,000 acres preserved for future generations of birds and birders. And by

generations of birds and birders. And by birds, I mean every living thing. And by

birds, I mean every living thing. And by birders, I mean every human.

Birders, I mean every human. There's a bird uh tour guide up there.

There's a bird uh tour guide up there. Yeah. So, you want to just find the bird

Yeah. So, you want to just find the bird tour guide vans and you just want to

tour guide vans and you just want to stay on their ass.

Stay on their ass. Yeah.

Yeah. And when they pull over, you pull over.

And when they pull over, you pull over. A lot of people who get some of those

A lot of people who get some of those bigger numbers often rely on guides.

Bigger numbers often rely on guides. Oh, is he moving up?

Oh, is he moving up? He's moving on. We got one.

He's moving on. We got one. Follow follow the bird van.

This is how to get a a guide without paying for one.

Paying for one. That's right. You know, if you're not

That's right. You know, if you're not doing it with a guide, you know, you can

doing it with a guide, you know, you can almost automatically deduct a 100

almost automatically deduct a 100 species from your list. Although, you

species from your list. Although, you know, Eird has helped with that. But

know, Eird has helped with that. But guides can make you more efficient.

Guides can make you more efficient. Oh, he's going to turn around.

Oh, he's going to turn around. He's

He's trying to lose us.

Trying to lose us. Yep. He knows. He knows.

Yep. He knows. He knows. This is some some kind of nature birding

This is some some kind of nature birding tour van. And it beeps really loud when

tour van. And it beeps really loud when you

you That's insane. Burning tourist photo

That's insane. Burning tourist photo workshops. Beep. Be so funny if we saw

workshops. Beep. Be so funny if we saw just go into the ditch.

Just go into the ditch. Beep beep beep. I'm backing up.

Beep beep beep. I'm backing up. All right. Back on the tail of this guy.

All right. Back on the tail of this guy. All right.

All right. It seemed like we followed this van all

It seemed like we followed this van all year long. And eventually we had to meet

year long. And eventually we had to meet the driver.

The driver. And then and then we looked in the

And then and then we looked in the rearview mirror and you guys are like

rearview mirror and you guys are like tracking us around going up and down

tracking us around going up and down this road. And we we went up and down

this road. And we we went up and down this road at Saximog like 12 times. And

this road at Saximog like 12 times. And then right when it got too dark to look

then right when it got too dark to look for birds or use your binoculars, then

for birds or use your binoculars, then finally a great crow popped up behind a

finally a great crow popped up behind a row of trees. So like [ __ ] look in a

row of trees. So like [ __ ] look in a scope, but we all got it.

Scope, but we all got it. And we did not tip him, did we?

And we did not tip him, did we? [ __ ]

[ __ ] [Applause]

Thrasher. Oh, dude. Could be that thrasher.

Oh, dude. Could be that thrasher. Barely know her.

Barely know her. The sage thrasher.

The sage thrasher. So, I've said it, you know, I've said it

So, I've said it, you know, I've said it for years. You go to the dispensary and

for years. You go to the dispensary and good things happen.

Good things happen. [Music]

[Music]

Rock runs on the rock. [Music]

You hear that? Cuz I hear that. Hold on. Let me see the app.

Hold on. Let me see the app. Not knowing any of these bird calls, we

Not knowing any of these bird calls, we relied on Eird's cousin, Merlin, to tell

relied on Eird's cousin, Merlin, to tell us what we heard. It's made for

us what we heard. It's made for beginners like ourselves. Serious bird

beginners like ourselves. Serious bird watchers don't touch this stuff. It's

watchers don't touch this stuff. It's like using training wheels.

Like using training wheels. And boy, we use the [ __ ] out of our

And boy, we use the [ __ ] out of our training wheels.

Training wheels. But sometimes your training wheels

But sometimes your training wheels aren't available for three days because

aren't available for three days because they have to migrate their database.

They have to migrate their database. That uh completes our checklist for the

That uh completes our checklist for the first day of the Ivy League bird

first day of the Ivy League bird software blackout.

Software blackout. We're just hoping it's over soon. Just

We're just hoping it's over soon. Just doing it the oldfashioned way. I mean,

doing it the oldfashioned way. I mean, truthfully, in my opinion, the guys that

truthfully, in my opinion, the guys that birded before EIRD,

birded before EIRD, their records were impressive.

Their records were impressive. I mean,

I mean, cuz they they didn't have technology. I

cuz they they didn't have technology. I mean, you know, you called a hotline.

Mean, you know, you called a hotline. I found an old book with a bunch of

I found an old book with a bunch of these bird hotline phone numbers. I

these bird hotline phone numbers. I called all of them.

Called all of them. Number you dialed is not in service.

Number you dialed is not in service. Please check the number and dial again.

Please check the number and dial again. We're sorry. You have reached a number

We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no

that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

Longer in service. I don't

I don't Hey, is this the main rare bird alert

Hey, is this the main rare bird alert phone number?

Phone number? Oh my god, no. The bird thing has been

Oh my god, no. The bird thing has been gone for like over 20 years now.

Hello. Is this the uh Texas rare bird alert?

Alert? Okay.

Okay. And the only one that answered was in

And the only one that answered was in Ohio.

Ohio. You reached the babbling area bird

You reached the babbling area bird hotline. Highlights are further a field

hotline. Highlights are further a field where a group built on it was found in

where a group built on it was found in Lorraine County this afternoon. That's

Lorraine County this afternoon. That's only the fourth record in Ohio and the

only the fourth record in Ohio and the first one since 1981.

First one since 1981. Norman Miller had 11 flyover white

Norman Miller had 11 flyover white pelicans yesterday. Leroy Miller had a

pelicans yesterday. Leroy Miller had a fly over black crown night heron on the

fly over black crown night heron on the second and Alvin Miller had a redneck

second and Alvin Miller had a redneck fellow along contra 371

fellow along contra 371 the first that was only one day wonder.

The first that was only one day wonder. That's all I have for now. If you have

That's all I have for now. If you have any birds to report, please leave a

any birds to report, please leave a message after the beep. Thank you.

Message after the beep. Thank you. Now, why is this line still open? And

Now, why is this line still open? And why is everyone's name Miller? After a

why is everyone's name Miller? After a couple more phone calls, I got some

couple more phone calls, I got some answers.

Answers. Well, there's a lot of Amish in this

Well, there's a lot of Amish in this area that don't use EIRD. Are you Amish?

Area that don't use EIRD. Are you Amish? Yes.

Yes. Oh, okay. I'm not going to get you in

Oh, okay. I'm not going to get you in trouble by talking on the phone, am I?

Trouble by talking on the phone, am I? No.

No. Why is it Why is bird watching so

Why is it Why is bird watching so popular in the Amish community?

Popular in the Amish community? Well, it's better than a lot of other

Well, it's better than a lot of other sports, isn't it?

Sports, isn't it? Well, they have good farms and they

Well, they have good farms and they still do like the hedro and good

still do like the hedro and good rotation and like keep patches of good

rotation and like keep patches of good habitat because they hunt and just

habitat because they hunt and just respect the wildlife. So Amish people

respect the wildlife. So Amish people have turned up incredible rare birds and

have turned up incredible rare birds and and their culture is just more tied to

and their culture is just more tied to the land and observing nature.

The land and observing nature. I think it's absolutely embarrassing

I think it's absolutely embarrassing that you need to take 3 days of downtime

that you need to take 3 days of downtime to migrate your database.

To migrate your database. I think he's he's probably looking for

I think he's he's probably looking for better software.

Better software. He's looking anywhere he can. I could

He's looking anywhere he can. I could probably dig down to the water table and

probably dig down to the water table and find better software.

Find better software. With the bird software still down, we

With the bird software still down, we look to others for guidance. We heard

look to others for guidance. We heard this man calling from a ways away just

this man calling from a ways away just help

help kind of in the distance and we look over

kind of in the distance and we look over and it's a guy with binoculars in a

and it's a guy with binoculars in a powered wheelchair but he's stuck in the

powered wheelchair but he's stuck in the mud and so we go over to help and and we

mud and so we go over to help and and we push him out and uh in exchange for

push him out and uh in exchange for pushing him out and specifically not

pushing him out and specifically not telling his wife. He told us a lot about

telling his wife. He told us a lot about birds. He uh told us about the elegant

birds. He uh told us about the elegant trogon, which is was a bird we had never

trogon, which is was a bird we had never even heard of. Just saw the the Trojan.

Even heard of. Just saw the the Trojan. Just saw the elegant Trojan.

Just saw the elegant Trojan. Beautiful bird. Shout out, Bill. Thanks,

Beautiful bird. Shout out, Bill. Thanks, Bill.

That's our guy.

[Music]

Those painted red starts. No way, dude. Can you imagine a year ago

No way, dude. Can you imagine a year ago if you would have just saw yourself

if you would have just saw yourself going, "Oh, it's a painted red star. Oh

going, "Oh, it's a painted red star. Oh my god.

[Music]

The boys just hit 300. And at this point, we're thinking, is there are

point, we're thinking, is there are there better bird watchers than us?

There better bird watchers than us? [Music]

I remember you asking me, you said, "Is there any birds you're really dying to

there any birds you're really dying to see?" And I think I pretty much

see?" And I think I pretty much immediately said Montasuma quail because

immediately said Montasuma quail because I'd seen this picture in the book. I

I'd seen this picture in the book. I mean, look at this [ __ ] thing. There

mean, look at this [ __ ] thing. There it is. That's probably good right there.

Look at those things, dude. That's That thing's crazy looking.

Thing's crazy looking. Mountain Zuma clam.

Mountain Zuma clam. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Let her eat. Cut it up.

[Music] I'd run through a brick wall for that

I'd run through a brick wall for that bird.

Bird. Yeah.

[Music]

[Music] Well, well, well. Look who decided to

Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up.

Show up. Bird softer's back.

It might be this one due to the amount of bird [ __ ]

In California, we picked up some help. Our buddy Joel. Has he ever been bird

Our buddy Joel. Has he ever been bird watching before? Of course not. But he

watching before? Of course not. But he sure can write a poem.

Sure can write a poem. Searching for birds in the desert where

Searching for birds in the desert where the sun is bright and warm. One hand on

the sun is bright and warm. One hand on my knock while the other rests upon my

my knock while the other rests upon my great horn. Birds with bright colors,

great horn. Birds with bright colors, soft hoots, and unique hollers. But if

soft hoots, and unique hollers. But if you want to look at them, it's going to

you want to look at them, it's going to cost you $17.

Cost you $17. Tits, [ __ ] suckers, and boobies are

Tits, [ __ ] suckers, and boobies are filling the air. Traveling to and from

filling the air. Traveling to and from in a Kikia Sedona condition good to

in a Kikia Sedona condition good to fair.

Fair. [Music]

[Music] There's this name at the top of the

There's this name at the top of the list. This kid, he just came out of

list. This kid, he just came out of nowhere. And we were like, well, who the

nowhere. And we were like, well, who the heck is this guy? You know, we got to we

heck is this guy? You know, we got to we got to get a hold of this guy.

Got to get a hold of this guy. Birding is super competitive. A lot of

Birding is super competitive. A lot of people don't realize it, but it there's

people don't realize it, but it there's so many people out there, you know,

so many people out there, you know, trying to break records every year.

Trying to break records every year. Ezekiel is chasing the stole's record of

Ezekiel is chasing the stole's record of 751 birds.

751 birds. Yeah, I I don't know if I have a shot at

Yeah, I I don't know if I have a shot at that. Um, if a lot of rarities show up

that. Um, if a lot of rarities show up and I get lucky and get them, you know,

and I get lucky and get them, you know, then then I could have a shot. But

then then I could have a shot. But things just haven't been sticking this

things just haven't been sticking this year. Usually they're like there for one

year. Usually they're like there for one day and they're gone. It's been a pretty

day and they're gone. It's been a pretty lousy really couple years that we've

lousy really couple years that we've had. Uh this is like the first year we

had. Uh this is like the first year we don't have a Bahama mocking bird in

don't have a Bahama mocking bird in Florida that that Tammy and I don't. Um

Florida that that Tammy and I don't. Um you know, we haven't had a Zenated dove

you know, we haven't had a Zenated dove in several years. We haven't had a Key

in several years. We haven't had a Key West quail dove in several years, a

West quail dove in several years, a Cuban pee-wee in several years. Uh you

Cuban pee-wee in several years. Uh you know, a lot of you know, blackface

know, a lot of you know, blackface scratch quit we haven't had in three or

scratch quit we haven't had in three or four years. So that has not helped

four years. So that has not helped Ezekiel out, hasn't helped us out.

Ezekiel out, hasn't helped us out. Yeah. Yeah, just whenever it's really

Yeah. Yeah, just whenever it's really slow for birds and gets like depressing

slow for birds and gets like depressing outside, um I just notice like God's

outside, um I just notice like God's creation around me and that that always

creation around me and that that always like brightens my day. And even when I

like brightens my day. And even when I drive, you know, like say 16 hours and

drive, you know, like say 16 hours and miss a bird, it's still like this

miss a bird, it's still like this amazing place. Like yesterday I was just

amazing place. Like yesterday I was just walking the beaches of Northern Cal and

walking the beaches of Northern Cal and it was like so beautiful and I was like,

it was like so beautiful and I was like, "God, thank you so much for like

"God, thank you so much for like creating this that I can just, you know,

creating this that I can just, you know, walk here and be in your your creation."

walk here and be in your your creation." So yeah,

So yeah, the only negative side of birding I've

the only negative side of birding I've really encountered directly is people

really encountered directly is people that are like hyper competitive like you

that are like hyper competitive like you know when I've been doing a big year

know when I've been doing a big year people that will like know I'm doing a

people that will like know I'm doing a big year and like keep like not tell me

big year and like keep like not tell me about bird sightings like oh I saw this

about bird sightings like oh I saw this bird but I'm not going to tell you. To

bird but I'm not going to tell you. To explore how competitive bird listening

explore how competitive bird listening can be, we've secretly recorded what

can be, we've secretly recorded what they say behind each other's backs.

Nobody ever sees her out voting and she's got the county record for the

and she's got the county record for the most. She's number one every year. We've

most. She's number one every year. We've actually caught her posting a photograph

actually caught her posting a photograph of a rare bird from county and my buddy

of a rare bird from county and my buddy found the exact same photograph on her

found the exact same photograph on her Instagram account from 2016. There's

Instagram account from 2016. There's been baker and said they found out about

been baker and said they found out about and then haven't told anyone else. when

and then haven't told anyone else. when the entire rest of the country helps

the entire rest of the country helps them get on burgers.

Them get on burgers. Well, he you know why is he has friends

Well, he you know why is he has friends in the movie you committed? If I put

in the movie you committed? If I put that picture up,

that picture up, it would be rejected in 5 minutes.

It would be rejected in 5 minutes. If birding is really competitive, why

If birding is really competitive, why don't people just cheat?

Don't people just cheat? Don't think anybody would fess up to it,

Don't think anybody would fess up to it, but no, I'm I'm not a stringer.

But no, I'm I'm not a stringer. Stringing is basically making up birds

Stringing is basically making up birds and stuff like that, counting things you

and stuff like that, counting things you didn't see, stretching your, you know,

didn't see, stretching your, you know, lists. Some

lists. Some there's one incident that's become a

there's one incident that's become a thing of legend in the birding

thing of legend in the birding community, Swallowgate. And it goes a

community, Swallowgate. And it goes a little something like this.

Little something like this. A 16-year-old bird watcher reported

A 16-year-old bird watcher reported North Carolina's first ever sighting of

North Carolina's first ever sighting of a violet green swallow along with a

a violet green swallow along with a photo.

Photo. The sighting was unanimously accepted by

The sighting was unanimously accepted by the North Carolina Bird Records

the North Carolina Bird Records Committee. I found their constitution

Committee. I found their constitution online. It's 6,171

online. It's 6,171 words.

Words. The United States Constitution is only

the United States Constitution is only 4543

4543 words.

Words. Flash forward a couple years later and

Flash forward a couple years later and the person uh who found who claimed to

the person uh who found who claimed to find the by the green well was doing a

find the by the green well was doing a big year in North Carolina and we're

big year in North Carolina and we're getting like reports from all these

getting like reports from all these people of like just weird stuff going on

people of like just weird stuff going on like the person claiming to be in places

like the person claiming to be in places and they're not end up being places.

And they're not end up being places. There are some of us scratching our

There are some of us scratching our heads,

heads, not pointing any fingers

not pointing any fingers with word being that you're in Florida

with word being that you're in Florida after Christmas through the end of the

after Christmas through the end of the year.

Year. Like the logistics just not working out

Like the logistics just not working out and you know him finding all these weird

and you know him finding all these weird birds like on the very last day to break

birds like on the very last day to break the record. It's like well I suppose

the record. It's like well I suppose that's possible but it seems very

that's possible but it seems very unlikely.

Unlikely. The current NC record holder is curious

The current NC record holder is curious as to how you pulled these five out of

as to how you pulled these five out of the hat.

The hat. And so in my head I'm thinking if he

And so in my head I'm thinking if he would do that maybe there's something

would do that maybe there's something weird about those green swallows. So 2

weird about those green swallows. So 2 years later, I start digging around.

Years later, I start digging around. In digging around, they did. The

In digging around, they did. The investigators put together a thorough

investigators put together a thorough document of evidence to refute the

document of evidence to refute the record.

Record. So I decided, well, I'll download his

So I decided, well, I'll download his photo and check the timestamp. And the

photo and check the timestamp. And the date was from May. and not only from May

date was from May. and not only from May but from a week in May when it was well

but from a week in May when it was well known on Facebook that he had been in

known on Facebook that he had been in Colorado where violet green swallows are

Colorado where violet green swallows are common. I had friends that worked at uh

common. I had friends that worked at uh natural history museums and what we

natural history museums and what we discovered was that these these swallows

discovered was that these these swallows have this really unique mold. They mol

have this really unique mold. They mol once a year in late summer. This person

once a year in late summer. This person had photographed the violet green

had photographed the violet green swallow in October as they claim.

Swallow in October as they claim. Well, it should have had fresh feathers.

Well, it should have had fresh feathers. That should have been finished molting

that should have been finished molting and being in very fresh

and being in very fresh plumage.

Plumage. The violet green swallow record was

The violet green swallow record was rescended and the burder was blacklisted

rescended and the burder was blacklisted from the community. Flash forward a

from the community. Flash forward a couple years.

Couple years. A North Carolina man is fighting for his

A North Carolina man is fighting for his life this morning after being bitten by

life this morning after being bitten by his pet king cobra. While the guy's in a

his pet king cobra. While the guy's in a coma fighting for his life, some of the

coma fighting for his life, some of the local bird watchers took to the chat

local bird watchers took to the chat group and they have a long memory.

Group and they have a long memory. You play with fire, you get burned by

You play with fire, you get burned by fire.

Fire. Harsh.

Harsh. They called him out on his fake big ear.

They called him out on his fake big ear. Pure karma. Turns out I was right all

Pure karma. Turns out I was right all along.

Along. Is he still a bird watcher?

Is he still a bird watcher? He's not part of the birding community

He's not part of the birding community at all.

I managed to get in touch with the guy. I wanted to hear his side of the story

I wanted to hear his side of the story 14 years later. He's actually kind of

14 years later. He's actually kind of the man, and I'm convinced he really

the man, and I'm convinced he really solved the bird. All he asked for was

solved the bird. All he asked for was his identity to remain anonymous.

His identity to remain anonymous. Man, all that was so stupid, but boiled

Man, all that was so stupid, but boiled down mostly to me being a young kid, 16,

down mostly to me being a young kid, 16, I think, and finding a really good bird.

I think, and finding a really good bird. The whole bird community being what it

The whole bird community being what it was at the time, sort of toxic and high

was at the time, sort of toxic and high pressure, had me freaked out over trying

pressure, had me freaked out over trying to prove it. And I used a paper one I

to prove it. And I used a paper one I had taken somewhere else out west to

had taken somewhere else out west to follow the record.

Follow the record. Definitely not a great thing to do and

Definitely not a great thing to do and nothing I'll ever defend that. But the

nothing I'll ever defend that. But the teenage brain just doesn't really work

teenage brain just doesn't really work like that. I just remember thinking that

like that. I just remember thinking that the alternative was being scrutinized by

the alternative was being scrutinized by a bunch of people who I was already

a bunch of people who I was already intimidated by. And that seemed like a

intimidated by. And that seemed like a good enough reason.

Good enough reason. The fallout was what you'd expect. Kind

The fallout was what you'd expect. Kind of shocked at the immaturity of people

of shocked at the immaturity of people twice my age or more. Because now as a

twice my age or more. Because now as a 29year-old, I can't imagine being like

29year-old, I can't imagine being like that to a 16year-old.

Is it is it funny? Is it a funny story to you? I mean, it's like it's all kind

to you? I mean, it's like it's all kind of ridiculous, right?

Of ridiculous, right? We like to think we have an honor

We like to think we have an honor system, and when somebody breaks the

system, and when somebody breaks the honor system, that's pretty serious.

Honor system, that's pretty serious. [Music]

The route through Missouri is also known as the Mississippi Flyway. The

as the Mississippi Flyway. The Mississippi

Mississippi Mississippi flyway migratory path.

Mississippi flyway migratory path. It's a wood thrush.

It's a wood thrush. That thing is beautiful. I mean, just

That thing is beautiful. I mean, just listen to it. That thing's nice as hell,

listen to it. That thing's nice as hell, dude.

Dude. Appreciating bird song is not gay. Okay,

Appreciating bird song is not gay. Okay, dude. Warblers. I mean, you're lucky if

dude. Warblers. I mean, you're lucky if they stay in one place for more than a

they stay in one place for more than a second or two. You're looking for the

second or two. You're looking for the tiny little bird way up in the tree

tiny little bird way up in the tree behind some leaves and it's constantly

behind some leaves and it's constantly moving, bouncing around. You know,

moving, bouncing around. You know, you're gonna have a sore neck.

You're gonna have a sore neck. You know what type of bud?

You know what type of bud? The way it's holding its wings,

it's holding its wings like theater kids hold their arms.

Buddy, we [ __ ] suck at this, eh?

Yeah, that's it. We don't know any of the songs.

We don't know any of the songs. I didn't even know that was a bird. I'm

I didn't even know that was a bird. I'm going to be honest with you. I've never

going to be honest with you. I've never even heard of that one before.

Even heard of that one before. Yellow throatated deer.

Yeah, I see. I see the movement. There it is. There it is.

[Music]

Not as beautiful as Scarlett Johansson, but beautiful.

But beautiful. Almost like

Almost like that's bird number 400 on the year.

That's bird number 400 on the year. Anything where you're in dense forest

Anything where you're in dense forest and it's all based on hearing a little

and it's all based on hearing a little chip or a song and trying to track to

chip or a song and trying to track to get down, that's the toughest stuff. We

get down, that's the toughest stuff. We didn't know the calls or songs of any of

didn't know the calls or songs of any of these birds pouring in from South

these birds pouring in from South America, except one.

America, except one. Just after dusk, high overhead, we'd

Just after dusk, high overhead, we'd hear this familiar sound.

Hear this familiar sound. It reminded us of soccer practice in the

It reminded us of soccer practice in the evenings as kids. It was a deep memory

evenings as kids. It was a deep memory buried somewhere in my tiny little

buried somewhere in my tiny little peanut brain. As Coach Jack sets team

peanut brain. As Coach Jack sets team was steamrolling our way to our third

was steamrolling our way to our third straight title. These birds were there

straight title. These birds were there the whole time.

The whole time. It's [ __ ] tight is what it is.

It's [ __ ] tight is what it is. Yeah. A common eye hook is a nice one.

It's a dick [ __ ] You can just call it that and it's cool

You can just call it that and it's cool about it.

About it. It's the name.

It's the name. It's not mad. It doesn't get mad.

It's not mad. It doesn't get mad. Dick [ __ ] It's not a slur. It's the

Dick [ __ ] It's not a slur. It's the name of a bird.

Name of a bird. What's up, Dick [ __ ] Birds have funny

What's up, Dick [ __ ] Birds have funny names, and a lot of them are changing.

Names, and a lot of them are changing. Birds in North America will no longer be

Birds in North America will no longer be named after people. The American Ornith

named after people. The American Ornith Ornithological Society says they're

Ornithological Society says they're renaming dozens of birds in an effort to

renaming dozens of birds in an effort to eliminate ties to racism.

Eliminate ties to racism. Some are going to hurt, but it's all

Some are going to hurt, but it's all it's all

it's all the right thing.

The right thing. Yeah. and and just makes no sense and

Yeah. and and just makes no sense and doesn't and it's another thing where

doesn't and it's another thing where you're not giving the bird any credit

you're not giving the bird any credit like Cooper's hawk. It has nothing to do

like Cooper's hawk. It has nothing to do with the bird.

With the bird. It's a polarizing topic. People feel

It's a polarizing topic. People feel very strongly one way or the other.

Very strongly one way or the other. It makes sense to create a more open and

It makes sense to create a more open and welcoming birding community because the

welcoming birding community because the more the more

more the more women and people of color,

women and people of color, a more diverse community, a diverse and

a more diverse community, a diverse and a white male bird.

A white male bird. That's a premise that had slaves or

That's a premise that had slaves or intolerant. I've been vegan for 20

intolerant. I've been vegan for 20 years. Racism are problems in American

years. Racism are problems in American culture. Older male white

culture. Older male white older whiter burers.

Older whiter burers. I feel like maybe I'm stereotyping.

I feel like maybe I'm stereotyping. They're not all bad. There's I meet a

They're not all bad. There's I meet a lot of like old white guy burers who are

lot of like old white guy burers who are like super friendly and

like super friendly and my closest friends are old white men.

My closest friends are old white men. Some people don't feel that way. Some

Some people don't feel that way. Some people want it to be

people want it to be how it's always been. Some people want

how it's always been. Some people want it to be like the old way, the good old

it to be like the old way, the good old days, you know.

Days, you know. I hate it. I don't like change and I

I hate it. I don't like change and I hated that that it has to mess with my

hated that that it has to mess with my what I what my likelihood my in my

what I what my likelihood my in my likelihood really. I mean my

likelihood really. I mean my I don't like it.

I don't like it. We want like anybody to feel like they

We want like anybody to feel like they could be part of this. If this is like a

could be part of this. If this is like a barrier to people feeling welcome, which

barrier to people feeling welcome, which I think for a lot of people it is, then

I think for a lot of people it is, then it's like let's get rid of it. you might

it's like let's get rid of it. you might as well change them just because it's

as well change them just because it's like instead of being called like

like instead of being called like Allen's hummingbird or or whatever, you

Allen's hummingbird or or whatever, you know, the random names are, you might as

know, the random names are, you might as well have a descripting name so that

well have a descripting name so that it's easier for people that are getting

it's easier for people that are getting into it.

Into it. And we're after the white rump

And we're after the white rump sandpiper.

Sandpiper. That's what we're after.

That's what we're after. Somebody named Dorothy online had about

Somebody named Dorothy online had about seven of them here. You know, this isn't

seven of them here. You know, this isn't why people get into bird watching. This

why people get into bird watching. This is for the love of the game. This is

is for the love of the game. This is shore birds. They all look the same

shore birds. They all look the same trying to pick one out from the bunch of

trying to pick one out from the bunch of brown little birds. You're next to an

brown little birds. You're next to an interstate. There's a cheap cheap fun

interstate. There's a cheap cheap fun dirt cheap liquor store over there.

Dirt cheap liquor store over there. There's a homeless guy picking berries

There's a homeless guy picking berries probably 100 yards that way.

Probably 100 yards that way. I don't know. They're like some type of

I don't know. They're like some type of berry.

Berry. Yeah, we we saw

Yeah, we we saw You can eat them, I think.

You can eat them, I think. Are they good eating?

Are they good eating? Yeah, you can eat them. They won't make

Yeah, you can eat them. They won't make you sick. Look, it's all over my hand.

You sick. Look, it's all over my hand. See the

See the berries? Oh, yeah.

Berries? Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's berries in these. You can

Yeah, there's berries in these. You can eat them. They won't make you sick.

Eat them. They won't make you sick. What will make you sick is how far this

What will make you sick is how far this little bird has to travel just to get

little bird has to travel just to get some cloa damn near the whole globe

some cloa damn near the whole globe twice a year. And they don't take very

twice a year. And they don't take very many rest stops. What a poor choice of

many rest stops. What a poor choice of rest stop this one made.

Rest stop this one made. Okay, here's one of our guys in

Okay, here's one of our guys in question.

Question. The pattern.

The pattern. Okay.

Okay. The streaks and you'll see the streaks.

The streaks and you'll see the streaks. They continue all the way down the body.

They continue all the way down the body. All right.

All right. Would you agree?

Would you agree? Uh yeah,

Uh yeah, you'd agree?

You'd agree? Yeah.

Yeah. Based on these pics,

Based on these pics, I like the way you're selling it. Yeah,

I like the way you're selling it. Yeah, it's streaky.

It's streaky. And this is actually the image I'm most

And this is actually the image I'm most excited to show you. All these other

excited to show you. All these other birds got ass cracks. This one here.

Birds got ass cracks. This one here. Not even a hint of an ass crack.

Not even a hint of an ass crack. Crackless ass, baby.

Crackless ass, baby. That's a crackless ass bird.

That's a crackless ass bird. What bird you drawing today?

What bird you drawing today? Today I'll be drawing the least bitter.

Today I'll be drawing the least bitter. Although this bird is common, it takes

Although this bird is common, it takes luck and patience to see one,

luck and patience to see one, which is a bird that we had a pretty

which is a bird that we had a pretty good chance to see in Phoenix.

Good chance to see in Phoenix. But we met a guy who was drinking vodka

But we met a guy who was drinking vodka at the park at 9:00 a.m. So, we kind of

at the park at 9:00 a.m. So, we kind of got distracted. We needed to talk to

got distracted. We needed to talk to him.

Him. I like every goddamn bird in the world.

I like every goddamn bird in the world. Every goddamn time I do my own damn

Every goddamn time I do my own damn thing, it seems like Satan keeps me

thing, it seems like Satan keeps me down.

Down. So, we missed it there. But then

So, we missed it there. But then later on we saw them at the local march

later on we saw them at the local march at home near St. Louis and we were

at home near St. Louis and we were hearing them out in the reads, you know.

Hearing them out in the reads, you know. Yeah, there it is.

Yeah, there it is. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. We just wanted to get a better look. So,

We just wanted to get a better look. So, what do we need to come back here with

what do we need to come back here with a boat? We need a boat.

A boat? We need a boat. Do we have a boat?

Do we have a boat? We don't have a boat. So, we're going to

We don't have a boat. So, we're going to make a boat.

And that's an unmistakable sound. That's the sound of

That's the sound of engineering. Creativity.

Doesn't matter what the thing looks like, you know, it's how it performs.

Like, you know, it's how it performs. The HMS Bitter

The HMS Bitter maiden voyage.

Maiden voyage. Although we shared some similar

Although we shared some similar engineering principles,

engineering principles, I had nothing to do with what happened

I had nothing to do with what happened deep under the North Atlantic last

deep under the North Atlantic last summer.

That's a common gallon. I have a

I have a I have a pretty drastic lean going on.

I have a pretty drastic lean going on. Yeah, it looks like you're you're damn

Yeah, it looks like you're you're damn near going to tip.

Near going to tip. That is dangerously close to just

That is dangerously close to just scooping up water.

Scooping up water. This could be a solo mission for a

This could be a solo mission for a while.

While. My boat did last um the whole time. My

My boat did last um the whole time. My boat was fine when we pulled it out of

boat was fine when we pulled it out of the water. Like I could have gone again.

The water. Like I could have gone again. I could have gone all day long. Um where

I could have gone all day long. Um where were you? Where your boat? I can't

were you? Where your boat? I can't remember how your boat went.

Remember how your boat went. We have a bit of an emergency here on

We have a bit of an emergency here on board the Type 2. Uh we've taken on

board the Type 2. Uh we've taken on quite a bit of water. I put out an SOS

quite a bit of water. I put out an SOS message. It's a solo mission from now

message. It's a solo mission from now on. I see it. It's filling up like a

on. I see it. It's filling up like a balloon.

Balloon. Oh, buddy.

Oh, buddy. Bad. I'm sinking in a bad way.

Bad. I'm sinking in a bad way. Oh no. My uh colleague did go down with

Oh no. My uh colleague did go down with his ship, but he uh left me this ore. So

his ship, but he uh left me this ore. So now I have two shitty ores.

Now I have two shitty ores. I definitely just heard one right over

I definitely just heard one right over there. [ __ ] turn right over there. I

there. [ __ ] turn right over there. I have to pull out the camera.

Have to pull out the camera. Hopefully not drop it in.

Hopefully not drop it in. Now that's success.

Now that's success. That's what success looks like.

That's what success looks like. That's success right there.

That's success right there. That's a least bitter if I've ever seen

That's a least bitter if I've ever seen one.

One. And I have. I saw it from a boat that I

And I have. I saw it from a boat that I made myself.

Made myself. People will do just about anything to

People will do just about anything to get a new bird on their list. It's a

get a new bird on their list. It's a classic case of Icarus. You can easily

classic case of Icarus. You can easily fly too close to the sun.

Fly too close to the sun. Cuba. I've been to Cuba got how many

Cuba. I've been to Cuba got how many species in Cuba? 85. No photos because

species in Cuba? 85. No photos because we got we snuck into Cuba. All you do is

we got we snuck into Cuba. All you do is tell the customs agent

tell the customs agent Noah stamp me passportito

Noah stamp me passportito you know you know we're in trouble. So

you know you know we're in trouble. So we went on the tour. They took us

we went on the tour. They took us around. Cubans took us on the tour and

around. Cubans took us on the tour and but of course we're can't take any notes

but of course we're can't take any notes when we don't want to have any notes on

when we don't want to have any notes on our person. We're stupid.

Our person. We're stupid. Anyway, bottom line is we don't have any

Anyway, bottom line is we don't have any pictures or but I fortunately had a

pictures or but I fortunately had a little tiny booklet I wrote the birds we

little tiny booklet I wrote the birds we saw and where we saw nice.

Saw and where we saw nice. The study says that 52% of extreme bird

The study says that 52% of extreme bird watchers have rolled the dice for a new

watchers have rolled the dice for a new lifer.

Lifer. That bass hit me so fast I didn't even

That bass hit me so fast I didn't even have time to blink or try to back away

have time to blink or try to back away or anything. He had my arm just grabbed

or anything. He had my arm just grabbed me just like that. He came like 90 miles

me just like that. He came like 90 miles of an hour and I jerked my arm away

of an hour and I jerked my arm away before he could quite lock on, but he

before he could quite lock on, but he cut top and bottom on my left arm. He

cut top and bottom on my left arm. He cut to the bone with his teeth. So, I'm

cut to the bone with his teeth. So, I'm like I've got like 10 gashes top and 10

like I've got like 10 gashes top and 10 gashes bottom clean to the bone. We

gashes bottom clean to the bone. We weren't going to go to the doctor cuz I

weren't going to go to the doctor cuz I I consider myself a tough guy and I

I consider myself a tough guy and I don't do that. Um, I know some plants

don't do that. Um, I know some plants like golden seal and comfrey and mullen

like golden seal and comfrey and mullen that are very good disinfectants.

That are very good disinfectants. Mhm.

Mhm. And I scalded the leaves and then used

And I scalded the leaves and then used the sav and wrapped it in leaves and you

the sav and wrapped it in leaves and you wouldn't believe it. In two days that

wouldn't believe it. In two days that sucker was healed up and I was carrying

sucker was healed up and I was carrying a camera around. I mean three days it

a camera around. I mean three days it never got [ __ ] never got discolored,

never got [ __ ] never got discolored, never got smelly.

As much as a big joke this whole thing was for us. For a window in the spring,

was for us. For a window in the spring, Quinton was taking it pretty seriously.

Quinton was taking it pretty seriously. And this is the first new bird we've had

And this is the first new bird we've had in probably 3 days, so I don't have to

in probably 3 days, so I don't have to spazz today.

Spazz today. What happens when he doesn't see a new

What happens when he doesn't see a new bird for a while?

Bird for a while? Gets grumpy.

I got sucked in. You know, I got sucked in too far. I would get mad. I would get

in too far. I would get mad. I would get grumpy when we wouldn't see a new bird.

Grumpy when we wouldn't see a new bird. That's tough to swallow when you're

That's tough to swallow when you're like, "Jesus Christ, did I really get

like, "Jesus Christ, did I really get pissed

pissed because I didn't see a bluethroated

because I didn't see a bluethroated warbler or whatever the fuck." I try not

warbler or whatever the fuck." I try not to get too bummed out in situations

to get too bummed out in situations because anytime I go chase a rare bird,

because anytime I go chase a rare bird, I never tell myself I'm going to for

I never tell myself I'm going to for sure get it. Even if tons of people are

sure get it. Even if tons of people are seeing it, I'm like, I've had situations

seeing it, I'm like, I've had situations like that where like there's a crowd of

like that where like there's a crowd of people and the bird disappears right

people and the bird disappears right before I get there or the bird gets

before I get there or the bird gets eaten right before I get there.

Eaten right before I get there. And I said, "So, where's the bird?" And

And I said, "So, where's the bird?" And he said, "Oh, I've got great pictures.

He said, "Oh, I've got great pictures. Look at me. Look at my pictures." And he

Look at me. Look at my pictures." And he shows you the back of his camera and

shows you the back of his camera and it's a paragan falcon eating the lesser

it's a paragan falcon eating the lesser sand.

Sand. So, we're talking 12 hours from here

So, we're talking 12 hours from here to there. Not a cheap flight, but it was

to there. Not a cheap flight, but it was a life bird and it had been there for a

a life bird and it had been there for a few days and we really wanted the bird.

Few days and we really wanted the bird. This is what birders do, you know, like

This is what birders do, you know, like we get out there look for birds and

we get out there look for birds and sometimes we miss them, sometimes we get

sometimes we miss them, sometimes we get them and it makes it more exciting, too,

them and it makes it more exciting, too, when you get the bird that you chased.

When you get the bird that you chased. You know, driving 20 hours overnight to

You know, driving 20 hours overnight to get a bird and then not getting it is

get a bird and then not getting it is super disappointing and sucks and you

super disappointing and sucks and you hate your life, but then getting a bird

hate your life, but then getting a bird the next day, it's like, oh my gosh, I

the next day, it's like, oh my gosh, I love this hobby. With birding, there's

love this hobby. With birding, there's different types of obsessed. Alex here

different types of obsessed. Alex here is obsessed with making EIRD checklists.

Is obsessed with making EIRD checklists. He makes about 15 a day.

He makes about 15 a day. I think I I am over 74,000 now. So,

I think I I am over 74,000 now. So, working towards 100,000. An EIRD is just

working towards 100,000. An EIRD is just like the full full picture of my life

like the full full picture of my life everywhere I go.

Everywhere I go. So, my friend Alex Lamro, he lists

So, my friend Alex Lamro, he lists pretty much every bird he sees. I

pretty much every bird he sees. I remember a story me, Alex, and Steve

remember a story me, Alex, and Steve were talking and he literally was saying

were talking and he literally was saying that he eirds like pigeons on the side

that he eirds like pigeons on the side of a highway.

Of a highway. Like a great example is rock pigeons.

Like a great example is rock pigeons. And I was like, are you [ __ ] serious?

And I was like, are you [ __ ] serious? The way it is, I've like had so many

The way it is, I've like had so many close fender benders and it's just a

close fender benders and it's just a little unsafe to constantly be texting

little unsafe to constantly be texting while driving. My girlfriend hates it.

While driving. My girlfriend hates it. [Music]

[Music] You almost You guys almost break up.

You almost You guys almost break up. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, multiple times. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, multiple times. Yeah. According to the study, birding ruined

According to the study, birding ruined date night for 57%. And the whole

date night for 57%. And the whole relationship for 18%.

Relationship for 18%. To keep the marriage, you know, still

To keep the marriage, you know, still intact. We kind of have made a pact that

intact. We kind of have made a pact that if if he sees the bird and I don't see

if if he sees the bird and I don't see it, he doesn't count it until I see that

it, he doesn't count it until I see that species at some point. And if I don't

species at some point. And if I don't see that species, then he never can

see that species, then he never can count that bird.

Count that bird. With serious listeners, just seeing the

With serious listeners, just seeing the bird isn't enough. The goal is to color

bird isn't enough. The goal is to color in the map. Every county becomes its own

in the map. Every county becomes its own little game board. Alex, a fully grown

little game board. Alex, a fully grown adult man, has driven way out of his way

adult man, has driven way out of his way to a Texas cemetery in search of a

to a Texas cemetery in search of a hermit warbler. A bird he's seen

hermit warbler. A bird he's seen hundreds of times in four other states.

Hundreds of times in four other states. Why? Because that specific bird wasn't

Why? Because that specific bird wasn't in his Cameron County, Texas box yet.

In his Cameron County, Texas box yet. It's part bird watching, part tax

It's part bird watching, part tax preparation, and fully ridiculous.

Preparation, and fully ridiculous. Cameron County is my top county. This

Cameron County is my top county. This would be my 348th

would be my 348th bird for Cameron County.

Bird for Cameron County. And there was a Cassens king bird scene

And there was a Cassens king bird scene on the island, which I don't have that

on the island, which I don't have that yet either. So, be awesome to get to 350

yet either. So, be awesome to get to 350 on this trip.

So much freedom. I just I love sleeping in a car.

In a car. [Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause] Oh, it looks just like scissors.

Oh, it looks just like scissors. Not none of those safety scissors

Not none of those safety scissors either. Those are the real deal. We're

either. Those are the real deal. We're trying to look for a black cap burrio.

Trying to look for a black cap burrio. It looks like it's wearing a helmet. So,

It looks like it's wearing a helmet. So, I figured if I wear a helmet, it'll feel

I figured if I wear a helmet, it'll feel comfortable around me and then I can

comfortable around me and then I can take an image of it, share a moment with

take an image of it, share a moment with it.

If you're asking for better looks than that, you are certainly asking a lot.

That, you are certainly asking a lot. From the book to real life, man, that's

From the book to real life, man, that's just

just that's what we do. You look at a bird in

that's what we do. You look at a bird in the book and you say, "I want to go see

the book and you say, "I want to go see that bird." And then you get in your car

that bird." And then you get in your car and you go,

What birds did we see today? Western fly catcher,

Western fly catcher, blackheaded grwood

pee,

And something else. Clark's greed.

Clark's greed. Clark's greed. Dude, how could I forget?

Clark's greed. Dude, how could I forget? We woke up and there it was.

Take a gander in that pond. Take a gander in that pond.

Take a gander in that pond. Take a gander in.

By now, you've probably seen a lot of birds. And do you think that you're

birds. And do you think that you're ready to see your lifer Clark's greb?

Ready to see your lifer Clark's greb? Follow me.

Follow me. [Music]

[Music] First step is to find the nearest all

First step is to find the nearest all women's correctional facility. There

women's correctional facility. There should be free parking adjacent to the

should be free parking adjacent to the prison.

Prison. All those inmates.

All those inmates. What's up, ladies?

What's up, ladies? You can camp right next to a female

You can camp right next to a female prison. It's free.

Prison. It's free. Next, your colleague is going to have to

Next, your colleague is going to have to use a restroom. However, the nearest

use a restroom. However, the nearest restroom is unusable.

Restroom is unusable. Did you poke your head in there? I did

Did you poke your head in there? I did have a poke. What did you think of it?

Have a poke. What did you think of it? It's pretty good, right? It's pretty

It's pretty good, right? It's pretty much just as you described it.

Much just as you described it. So, that's a hover. It's definitely

So, that's a hover. It's definitely You're looking at a hover here.

You're looking at a hover here. Consequently, your colleague will have

Consequently, your colleague will have to use a ditch next to the van.

To use a ditch next to the van. It was so bad I didn't even use it. I

It was so bad I didn't even use it. I just took a [ __ ] in that ditch.

Just took a [ __ ] in that ditch. No matter how trivial it may seem, this

No matter how trivial it may seem, this final step is very important. In the

final step is very important. In the morning, you must listen to 2009 pop

morning, you must listen to 2009 pop hits.

Now, if you followed all the steps correctly, take a gander in that pond.

Correctly, take a gander in that pond. See if all your hard work has paid off.

See if all your hard work has paid off. We wake up and immediately we've got a

We wake up and immediately we've got a bird. Did you wake up in the morning

bird. Did you wake up in the morning feeling kind of grievy? It's either

feeling kind of grievy? It's either western grie or Clark's creep. The black

western grie or Clark's creep. The black on the western gre's head extends down

on the western gre's head extends down over the eyes, right? Covering the eyes.

Over the eyes, right? Covering the eyes. Covering the eyes. The Clark's creep

Covering the eyes. The Clark's creep does not. You know, it's see its eye is

does not. You know, it's see its eye is exposed. It's just in a sea of white.

Exposed. It's just in a sea of white. Much like the bird I've just

Much like the bird I've just photographed out there in that lake.

Photographed out there in that lake. Congratulations.

Congratulations. You're a life for Clark's Greed.

It's It's June 8th. Uh have you gotten tired of bird watching yet?

Tired of bird watching yet? Yeah, several different times. It's gone

Yeah, several different times. It's gone back around, but I am growing tired of

back around, but I am growing tired of it.

It. But I still am doing it. Like I just,

But I still am doing it. Like I just, you know, peaked around to look at that

you know, peaked around to look at that redwing black bear. It's a disease, I

redwing black bear. It's a disease, I think. Do you hear that? That's a

think. Do you hear that? That's a Hammond's fly catcher.

Hammond's fly catcher. A sound I can call out now. 6 months

A sound I can call out now. 6 months ago, I could not do that.

No idea what those are. McGuillies.

McGuillies. Damn, bro. Holy. if I'm the sick man.

Damn, bro. Holy. if I'm the sick man. I'm just guessing.

I'm just guessing. I kind of feel like everyone's a burer

I kind of feel like everyone's a burer and they just don't know it yet, you

and they just don't know it yet, you know? It's like, have you ever looked at

know? It's like, have you ever looked at a bird then? Like, and been like, "Oh,

a bird then? Like, and been like, "Oh, wow. It's red. It's blue. It's yellow.

Wow. It's red. It's blue. It's yellow. Like, you're a burer. Like, get over it.

Like, you're a burer. Like, get over it. Accept it."

Accept it." One of the guys on our roller hockey

One of the guys on our roller hockey team is uh actually pretty into

team is uh actually pretty into hummingbirds.

I' I've been a hummingbird guy. I've always let my grandmother started out

always let my grandmother started out get feeders out, but like I said, it's a

get feeders out, but like I said, it's a seasonal thing. And where this story

seasonal thing. And where this story unfortunately has to go is calling my

unfortunately has to go is calling my neighbor out that left their feeder out

neighbor out that left their feeder out too long because the poor hummingbird

too long because the poor hummingbird filled itself up with so much nutrients

filled itself up with so much nutrients and got so comfortable that it forgot to

and got so comfortable that it forgot to migrate with the other birds. And uh I

migrate with the other birds. And uh I was very hopeful for that bird's safe

was very hopeful for that bird's safe return to its family or safe return this

return to its family or safe return this year. But hummingbird feeders are out.

Year. But hummingbird feeders are out. I've seen a couple other ones and he's

I've seen a couple other ones and he's not with us because the neighbor I got

not with us because the neighbor I got to blame the neighbor for that. So, like

to blame the neighbor for that. So, like I said, get your hummingbird feeders out

I said, get your hummingbird feeders out now, but get them in. Get them in before

now, but get them in. Get them in before deer season.

Deer season. How many hummingbird feeders you think

How many hummingbird feeders you think you got?

You got? I

I Over 10, less than 20. I have a dozen

over 10, less than 20. I have a dozen hummingbird feeders, if not 15, but not

hummingbird feeders, if not 15, but not 20. I'll have 20 by the end of this

20. I'll have 20 by the end of this year.

Year. Clear or nothing. Don't buy the red

Clear or nothing. Don't buy the red water. None of this [ __ ]

water. None of this [ __ ] Uh, this red one back here is a glass

Uh, this red one back here is a glass one. That was my first one. That's a

one. That was my first one. That's a That's a dandy. That'll hold half a

That's a dandy. That'll hold half a pitcher.

Pitcher. Our goalie knows uh has a great B owl

Our goalie knows uh has a great B owl impression.

Yeah, you hear that? That's a No, it's not in distress. That's an owl that's

not in distress. That's an owl that's not worried. Yeah,

not worried. Yeah, that's another

that's another I called. Hey, I went outside my

I called. Hey, I went outside my backyard the other night and heard one

backyard the other night and heard one called

called and it came back.

And it came back. We just realized that actually

We just realized that actually everybody's

everybody's kind of a little bit of a bird watcher.

Kind of a little bit of a bird watcher. Everybody knows the bald eagle

Everybody knows the bald eagle and the eagle, you know, it's badass,

and the eagle, you know, it's badass, you know. Um, you'll like just destroy,

you know. Um, you'll like just destroy, demolish anything, you know, [ __ ] you.

Demolish anything, you know, [ __ ] you. It kills its prey.

It kills its prey. If you have some interest in in watching

If you have some interest in in watching and enjoying birds, like you're a burer.

And enjoying birds, like you're a burer. That's you've you've joined the club.

That's you've you've joined the club. [Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

to find bird 447. We needed another set of eyes.

Of eyes. And this ass parking lot [ __ ] I don't

And this ass parking lot [ __ ] I don't know.

Know. Peanut butter.

Peanut butter. What are you looking at?

What are you looking at? Leave her alone. It's not your recipe.

Leave her alone. It's not your recipe. Bird 447 lives way up high.

[Music] You see, Quinton spotted most of the

You see, Quinton spotted most of the birds that we saw last year.

Birds that we saw last year. So whenever I spotted one first, I got

So whenever I spotted one first, I got excited. I I got a little too excited.

Excited. I I got a little too excited. Holy [ __ ]

Hey,

Got one. [Music]

Now, how do you think I found that charm again? You think I just [ __ ]

again? You think I just [ __ ] harmonized with the alpine wind, aligned

harmonized with the alpine wind, aligned my chakras, and the bird showed itself?

My chakras, and the bird showed itself? Nope. I called it in with an iPhone 15

Nope. I called it in with an iPhone 15 Pro. Playback is something you do

Pro. Playback is something you do whenever you're not seeing the bird that

whenever you're not seeing the bird that you want to see and you get on the app

you want to see and you get on the app and you blast the breeding song and you

and you blast the breeding song and you wait for that bird to show up.

Wait for that bird to show up. Playback is in an ethical gray area.

Playback is in an ethical gray area. There are things you definitely

There are things you definitely shouldn't do to see a bird, like spook

shouldn't do to see a bird, like spook and shoot.

And shoot. Excuse me. Uh, do you know if you're

Excuse me. Uh, do you know if you're allowed to do spook and shoot here?

Allowed to do spook and shoot here? I don't know what that means.

I don't know what that means. Spook and shoot. It's um

Spook and shoot. It's um like to scare them and then take a

like to scare them and then take a picture. honk your horn or you rev your

picture. honk your horn or you rev your engine and you get good flight shots

engine and you get good flight shots like that. You're not you're not letting

like that. You're not you're not letting You just have to wait for it.

You just have to wait for it. Okay, gotcha.

Okay, gotcha. Or trespassing.

Or trespassing. Yeah, Owen's always talking all this

Yeah, Owen's always talking all this [ __ ] about how I'm a crazy person, but

[ __ ] about how I'm a crazy person, but here he is trespassing on an oil field

here he is trespassing on an oil field so we can take a look at a thrasher. And

so we can take a look at a thrasher. And I'm the crazy guy.

I'm the crazy guy. And there are things that most people

And there are things that most people are cool with like pitching.

Are cool with like pitching. Pishing. Everybody pisses, right?

Pishing. Everybody pisses, right? And that works. That's like gold

And that works. That's like gold sometimes.

It's a good piss. You got a good pants.

A good pants. Some stuff in.

Some stuff in. You're going to piss your pants if you

You're going to piss your pants if you do that too much.

I got the Aquaterero. Got him. Got him. Got him. In this Doug fur here, there's

Got him. In this Doug fur here, there's a couple birds and he's a little bit

a couple birds and he's a little bit higher up in the Doug fur. It's a male

higher up in the Doug fur. It's a male with a nice bright orange head. But what

with a nice bright orange head. But what about playback? The ABA website says you

about playback? The ABA website says you should limit your use as it can stress

should limit your use as it can stress the birds, while the Audabon website

the birds, while the Audabon website says it shouldn't be used at all.

Says it shouldn't be used at all. Now, I'll use playback and then if it

Now, I'll use playback and then if it comes in, I'll usually stop. Um,

comes in, I'll usually stop. Um, sometimes I won't, sometimes I will.

Sometimes I won't, sometimes I will. I don't like it.

I don't like it. Playback gets to be a problem if it's a

Playback gets to be a problem if it's a place where there's a lot of other

place where there's a lot of other burers around. You don't want to confuse

burers around. You don't want to confuse other birders and like have people come

other birders and like have people come running thinking they're hearing this

running thinking they're hearing this unusual bird and it's just you playing.

I mean just came out of the woods there just as soon as So I was like, "Yeah,

just as soon as So I was like, "Yeah, I'll play a little bit of playback for

I'll play a little bit of playback for this woodpecker." Yeah,

this woodpecker." Yeah, that's outstanding.

That's outstanding. That's [ __ ] awesome. Kind of.

That's [ __ ] awesome. Kind of. There's going to be an eird check echo.

There's going to be an eird check echo. It's like heard only.

It's like heard only. Heard only. didn't ever get eyes on it,

Heard only. didn't ever get eyes on it, you know, but I definitely heard a clear

you know, but I definitely heard a clear call distinct from the Harry Woodpecker.

Call distinct from the Harry Woodpecker. Our playback use over time looked a

Our playback use over time looked a little something like this. We stopped

little something like this. We stopped cold turkey about halfway into the year

cold turkey about halfway into the year when we found out it was controversial.

When we found out it was controversial. But later on, like a drug addict, we had

But later on, like a drug addict, we had several relapses,

several relapses, mostly for the three-toed woodpecker.

Mostly for the three-toed woodpecker. We're looking for the freeto woodpecker.

Why is this bird so hard to find?

What about somebody who's like really good at mimicking a bird call?

Good at mimicking a bird call? Yeah, I feel more okay with that

Yeah, I feel more okay with that cuz it's more like it's you got to try

cuz it's more like it's you got to try harder. You got to know the call.

Harder. You got to know the call. Exactly.

Exactly. Okay.

You think? A little higher or maybe a little higher?

Maybe a little higher? Yeah.

Still good. Yeah. Right on the money.

Yeah. Right on the money. I'm about to have binoculars, a camera,

I'm about to have binoculars, a camera, and a little flute on me, so I'm

and a little flute on me, so I'm eligible to get my ass kicked today.

We failed to call in the owl, but we did call in some help.

[Music] That one was a little rough. Takes me a

That one was a little rough. Takes me a little while to warm up.

Little while to warm up. I'm more of a twitcher. I will go after

I'm more of a twitcher. I will go after just about anything in Washington that

just about anything in Washington that is new for a state list. So, I've had a

is new for a state list. So, I've had a lot of, you know, overnight drives and

lot of, you know, overnight drives and stuff for birds in Washington, but

stuff for birds in Washington, but probably never anything more than like

probably never anything more than like 20 hours of driving uh in Washington.

20 hours of driving uh in Washington. That's that would be hard to do. When I

That's that would be hard to do. When I started using EIRD kind of got me hooked

started using EIRD kind of got me hooked like big time. I would say after like

like big time. I would say after like a couple months using Eird, I was like

a couple months using Eird, I was like definitely all in.

Definitely all in. [Music]

[Music] We stopped for a stage pond here. Couple

We stopped for a stage pond here. Couple malards and a townson warbler and a

malards and a townson warbler and a spawn sander. That was basically it.

Spawn sander. That was basically it. [Music]

[Music] There's not much more I like than

There's not much more I like than owling. That's what I've been doing for

owling. That's what I've been doing for past three nights up till now. Anyways,

past three nights up till now. Anyways, and then start heading down the gulch

and then start heading down the gulch sun towards where the flammies are so we

sun towards where the flammies are so we don't miss pik me window and stuff like

don't miss pik me window and stuff like that.

That. [Music]

Got to get that dialed in a little bit more, but close.

More, but close. There's one here.

That bird's pretty close. Yeah, it's not.

Yeah, it's not. That'll come in if I play it a little

That'll come in if I play it a little more.

Right up there. Yeah.

Right against the trunk. Pygmies, flammies, sawettes, you name

pygmies, flammies, sawettes, you name it. These kids had owls on a string and

it. These kids had owls on a string and we were just lucky to be dangling on the

we were just lucky to be dangling on the end of it.

End of it. I don't really know why I list stuff. I

I don't really know why I list stuff. I just kind of have a tendency to do that.

Just kind of have a tendency to do that. Um, yeah, I list birds. I'll list stuff

Um, yeah, I list birds. I'll list stuff at a county, hotspots, patches, states,

at a county, hotspots, patches, states, countries, whatever. Uh, it's just

countries, whatever. Uh, it's just something about my personality. I like

something about my personality. I like having like a neat list.

Just got a drug deal on camera. All good. This guy have a foot long churo.

Good. This guy have a foot long churo. Yeah, I mean that's 100%.

Yeah, I mean that's 100%. Yep. Just went just went into the

Yep. Just went just went into the pocket.

Pocket. He just traded a bag of math for a

He just traded a bag of math for a churo.

Churo. This is why I love the Northwest.

This is why I love the Northwest. [Music]

castia.

Living in a car like a bum has its advantages for the bird watcher.

Advantages for the bird watcher. A lot of times we just leave the vehicle

A lot of times we just leave the vehicle at sunlight. It might be 6 5:30 6 a.m.

at sunlight. It might be 6 5:30 6 a.m. I'm already birding. Grab my binos, have

I'm already birding. Grab my binos, have a piss,

a piss, I'm on a lifer, you know. Wake up and

I'm on a lifer, you know. Wake up and immediately start burning.

Immediately start burning. Most of the time it's great. You know,

Most of the time it's great. You know, you wake up to the birds, but other

you wake up to the birds, but other times you wake up and you're like,

times you wake up and you're like, "What's that smell?" You know?

"What's that smell?" You know? Yeah. Don't touch with your hand, I

Yeah. Don't touch with your hand, I wouldn't say.

And this is a lawn chair, I'm guessing.

I'm guessing. Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah.

Yeah. Christ.

Christ. Yeah, that's

Yeah, that's that's a large dog. Now, most big year

that's a large dog. Now, most big year burgers aren't waking up to dead animals

burgers aren't waking up to dead animals that were dumped by their $3,500 minivan

that were dumped by their $3,500 minivan because uh they have a lot of money.

Because uh they have a lot of money. The record holder in ' 89 spent $140,000

The record holder in ' 89 spent $140,000 on his big ear.

On his big ear. [Music]

[Music] Turns out chasing small birds is big

Turns out chasing small birds is big business.

Business. According

According to Fish and Wildlife, bird watchers in

to Fish and Wildlife, bird watchers in the US spend $ 107 billion on birding

the US spend $ 107 billion on birding trips and equipment every year.

Trips and equipment every year. We don't keep track. I don't want to

We don't keep track. I don't want to know.

Know. It's kind of one of those things that

we know it's not a small amount of money.

Money. No.

No. Um

Um so we don't ever add it up.

So we don't ever add it up. There are outliers, however.

There are outliers, however. This is Fred, an Australian bird watcher

This is Fred, an Australian bird watcher we met on the side of the road in Canon

we met on the side of the road in Canon Beach, Oregon. He had no money. He was

Beach, Oregon. He had no money. He was riding his bike from Los Angeles to

riding his bike from Los Angeles to Vancouver looking for birds.

Vancouver looking for birds. Yeah, it's sting mode out here, man.

Yeah, it's sting mode out here, man. It's like Yeah, I'm missing no money.

It's like Yeah, I'm missing no money. And uh where did you sleep last night?

And uh where did you sleep last night? Uh I slept in just in the bushes up in

Uh I slept in just in the bushes up in the uh in the woods up on the mountain

the uh in the woods up on the mountain there. I've seen over 530 birds in my

there. I've seen over 530 birds in my life.

Life. That's a shitload of birds,

That's a shitload of birds, right?

Right? I did get my first bald eagle.

I did get my first bald eagle. Bald eagle

Bald eagle the other day. Yeah, first bald eagle.

The other day. Yeah, first bald eagle. [ __ ] absolutely salute. Stand up

[ __ ] absolutely salute. Stand up straight for that.

Straight for that. Got my first bald eagle. Uh, that was

Got my first bald eagle. Uh, that was good.

Good. Yeah.

Yeah. American dipper. That was nice.

American dipper. That was nice. American.

American. Take a dip with it.

Take a dip with it. No. Is that customary?

It's our homie right there. Right back.

Right back. Right back, dude. You got to You got to

Right back, dude. You got to You got to be in here. You got to be one with the

be in here. You got to be one with the dipper.

Dipper. You want to go see some puffins?

You want to go see some puffins? Yeah, I want to see some puffins.

Yeah, I want to see some puffins. I'm frothing puffins today.

I'm frothing puffins today. I'm obsessed. I'm going to lose it. If I

I'm obsessed. I'm going to lose it. If I don't see any puffins, you boys are in

don't see any puffins, you boys are in trouble.

Oh, [ __ ] Yes.

And what a tough on him. What a glorious bastard.

Bastard. Yes.

Yes. [Music]

[Music] I'll get those tufts out.

I'll get those tufts out. Oh, the boys back home are going to be

Oh, the boys back home are going to be jealous.

Jealous. [Music]

[Music] Can't believe we just ran. It's

Can't believe we just ran. It's [ __ ] awesome.

[ __ ] awesome. Yeah, it was meant to be. It

Yeah, it was meant to be. It was meant to be.

Was meant to be. I hope I run into you again in the

I hope I run into you again in the future.

[Music]

Bear sparrow up.

That's our guy. That's our guy. Go ahead and save that record. Here we go.

And save that record. Here we go. And this is a very soughtafter bird for

And this is a very soughtafter bird for some reason. It's again, we've been

some reason. It's again, we've been after it for three days now and we've

after it for three days now and we've just been driving these hot ass roads in

just been driving these hot ass roads in the planes and it's [ __ ] brutal.

And that actually would have been bird number 500 on the year, but uh we just

number 500 on the year, but uh we just had one taken away from us. So, you

had one taken away from us. So, you check here. Uh, and you know, I love

check here. Uh, and you know, I love getting an email like this. Your insert

getting an email like this. Your insert bird name observation and EIRD. And, uh,

bird name observation and EIRD. And, uh, Mr. Ryan Merrill is telling us that he's

Mr. Ryan Merrill is telling us that he's taking away uh, our gray fly catcher

taking away uh, our gray fly catcher observation. Um, and again, this is a

observation. Um, and again, this is a guy, this is a sighting of three weeks

guy, this is a sighting of three weeks ago in Spokane. And, uh, this is a guy

ago in Spokane. And, uh, this is a guy who wasn't there who's telling me what

who wasn't there who's telling me what bird I saw. So,

bird I saw. So, and you know what? He's probably right.

And you know what? He's probably right. Let's be honest.

Let's be honest. I mean, bird birding is basically just

I mean, bird birding is basically just just an honor system. Nobody's really

just an honor system. Nobody's really going through and checking your lists

going through and checking your lists for the most part.

For the most part. Thank you guys for being so on our

Thank you guys for being so on our [ __ ] dick about bird IDs. I super

[ __ ] dick about bird IDs. I super appreciate it. That's It's really We're

appreciate it. That's It's really We're learning here. We're all learning.

Learning here. We're all learning. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you guys.

Yeah. I mean, I got that a little hot. Uh, tonight we're having pinto beans,

Uh, tonight we're having pinto beans, rice with jalapeno,

rice with jalapeno, so it's, you know, just another

so it's, you know, just another variation of the same meal.

Variation of the same meal. This, uh, you know, we've been hitting

This, uh, you know, we've been hitting the black beans pretty hard.

The black beans pretty hard. So, we're going to switch to pinto

So, we're going to switch to pinto tonight.

Tonight. Just kind of see how that goes.

Just kind of see how that goes. While tonight's meal is much the same,

While tonight's meal is much the same, the location of uh the kitchen tonight

the location of uh the kitchen tonight is a little different. It's just on the

is a little different. It's just on the side of a a road, just a farm road

side of a a road, just a farm road tonight next to a marsh.

Tonight next to a marsh. It's pretty pretty interesting. Usually,

It's pretty pretty interesting. Usually, it's in the forest or uh

it's in the forest or uh usually in the forest or a parking lot.

Usually in the forest or a parking lot. Okay, here's the voice that we're going

Okay, here's the voice that we're going to listen for. makes two or three

to listen for. makes two or three clicks, sounding like pebbles being

clicks, sounding like pebbles being tapped together, repeated in a long

tapped together, repeated in a long series, usually heard at night. And they

series, usually heard at night. And they say you'll never see this bird. It even

say you'll never see this bird. It even says in the book or on the app, if you

says in the book or on the app, if you see a yellow rail in the open, you're

see a yellow rail in the open, you're not seeing a yellow rail. That's how

not seeing a yellow rail. That's how confident they are that you won't see

confident they are that you won't see this bird.

This bird. But you might hear this.

But you might hear this. I mean, if you would have told me last

I mean, if you would have told me last year that I'd be spending my midnight

year that I'd be spending my midnight banging two rocks together on some back

banging two rocks together on some back road in North Dakota, I would have told

road in North Dakota, I would have told you, you're wrong. I'm not doing that.

You, you're wrong. I'm not doing that. But here I am doing it.

But here I am doing it. And why does man fight mosquitoes?

And why does man fight mosquitoes? She hungrily punches right through the

She hungrily punches right through the skin and sucks her victim's blood to

skin and sucks her victim's blood to fill her stomach.

Fill her stomach. [Applause]

[Applause] Mosquitoes breed in water. Stagnant

Mosquitoes breed in water. Stagnant water in a swamp like this is a good

water in a swamp like this is a good breeding place.

Breeding place. Dude, I know you're not pissing right

Dude, I know you're not pissing right now.

[Music]

I'm surprised there's room for four mosquitoes on the head of my

You just heard a bird click from the grass and that's, you know, that's like

grass and that's, you know, that's like a a huge deal in community

a a huge deal in community is to hear a small shy bird in the grass

is to hear a small shy bird in the grass go click click click click click click

go click click click click click click click click click for just 5 seconds

click click click for just 5 seconds 500 is certainly the absolute standard

500 is certainly the absolute standard you know that's the main level I what

you know that's the main level I what did I say you guys might get 620 did I

did I say you guys might get 620 did I predict

predict I know you got a lot you got a ways to

I know you got a lot you got a ways to go because the second half of the year

go because the second half of the year every a big year gets harder and harder

every a big year gets harder and harder [Applause]

[Applause] We've gone to all these areas, you know,

We've gone to all these areas, you know, these burned dead tree areas where it

these burned dead tree areas where it says that they love, you know, and

says that they love, you know, and haven't seen one. So, it's like, do they

haven't seen one. So, it's like, do they really love these areas? I don't know.

Really love these areas? I don't know. We've been to a lot of them.

We've been to a lot of them. We've tried not doing playback, just

We've tried not doing playback, just listening.

Listening. We've tried doing playback egregiously.

We've tried having other people try to show it to us and he said, "Oh, yeah.

Show it to us and he said, "Oh, yeah. Oh, it should be no problem."

Oh, it should be no problem." I mean, if we go up for the free toad,

I mean, if we go up for the free toad, will it still light out? That's no

will it still light out? That's no problem. I would be s I would be more

problem. I would be s I would be more surprised if we tried for it and missed

surprised if we tried for it and missed it.

It. Yeah, I got

Yeah, I got Didn't see it.

Didn't see it. [Applause]

[Music] Sounds remarkably similar to a squeaky

Sounds remarkably similar to a squeaky toy.

[Music]

Like a dog toy aisle effect. Oh no. [Music]

Check that out. Slightly thicker bell. Thicker than some of them bills they

thicker than some of them bills they write in Congress.

Write in Congress. [Music]

[Music] Put on

Put on [Music]

[Music] a gun.

A gun. Yeah. What is that? That's a northern

Yeah. What is that? That's a northern beardless tyrannette.

Beardless tyrannette. Say that again.

Say that again. Northern beardless tyrann.

[Music]

Today we're at the rare bird location. We're looking for a rosethroatated

We're looking for a rosethroatated bequard. Some people are calling it a

bequard. Some people are calling it a beckard.

Beckard. Rosethroatated beckard.

Rosethroatated beckard. Come on. It's out of range. So, its

Come on. It's out of range. So, its normal range would be in Mexico. Purple

normal range would be in Mexico. Purple means it's there all year long. Orange

means it's there all year long. Orange is the summer range and the gray is the

is the summer range and the gray is the range of vagrancy. So, it just tips into

range of vagrancy. So, it just tips into southeast Arizona in the range of

southeast Arizona in the range of vagrancy. In other words, it's a

vagrancy. In other words, it's a vagrant. It's out of its normal range.

Vagrant. It's out of its normal range. We we try really hard when we're at a

We we try really hard when we're at a rare bird to

rare bird to make sure that we're both

make sure that we're both make sure we're together. We go to the

make sure we're together. We go to the bathroom at the same time.

Bathroom at the same time. Yeah. I mean, well, and again, that

Yeah. I mean, well, and again, that happened to a, you know, to a couple uh

happened to a, you know, to a couple uh where there was what's called a dark

where there was what's called a dark build cuckoo that came into the east

build cuckoo that came into the east coast of Florida and we ran went down

coast of Florida and we ran went down and got it. Uh, this couple showed up

and got it. Uh, this couple showed up next day and they had flown in, drove

next day and they had flown in, drove over and first thing he said was, "Hey,

over and first thing he said was, "Hey, I I got to go to the bathroom." And she

I I got to go to the bathroom." And she said, "Let's get the bird and then go to

said, "Let's get the bird and then go to the bathroom." He said, "No, I got to go

the bathroom. "He said," No, I got to go

the bathroom." He said, "No, I got to go now." So he he went to the bathroom. She

now." So he he went to the bathroom. She went got the bird. Bird left.

Went got the bird. Bird left. Never seen again.

Never seen again. And by the time he got out of the

And by the time he got out of the bathroom, the bird was gone.

Bathroom, the bird was gone. I just got the Bard. Quinton's taking a

I just got the Bard. Quinton's taking a [ __ ] He's right out there.

[ __ ] He's right out there. I saw it. He hasn't seen it yet. He's

I saw it. He hasn't seen it yet. He's coming back from taking a [ __ ] There he

coming back from taking a [ __ ] There he is.

Is. Dude, it's it's right there. It's

Dude, it's it's right there. It's perched up so beautifully right there.

Perched up so beautifully right there. Why aren't you firing away,

Why aren't you firing away, buddy? It's right [ __ ] there. Is it

buddy? It's right [ __ ] there. Is it against the sky?

Against the sky? It's just hard to see. Just it's in

It's just hard to see. Just it's in there.

There. Describing the location of a bird to

Describing the location of a bird to somebody who doesn't see it yet

somebody who doesn't see it yet is a scale.

Is a scale. Right next to the pole, the wooden pole

Right next to the pole, the wooden pole uh in the corner kind of see how the

uh in the corner kind of see how the pond kind of goes straight out that way

pond kind of goes straight out that way on that on the dolly that looks like a

on that on the dolly that looks like a stick, but it's it's a metal dolly.

Stick, but it's it's a metal dolly. Edge of the water just to the right of

Edge of the water just to the right of the whiffle ball.

The whiffle ball. I'll look for a whiffle ball.

I'll look for a whiffle ball. Do you see the stick more? The thin

Do you see the stick more? The thin thinner white

thinner white fish. No, no bark on it.

Fish. No, no bark on it. It's Yes.

It's Yes. Oh, I see the whiffle ball

Oh, I see the whiffle ball right on the head. Yeah, just to the

right on the head. Yeah, just to the right of the whiffle ball.

Right of the whiffle ball. It's back behind that slanted log. The

It's back behind that slanted log. The bigger slanted log.

Bigger slanted log. Straight out in the middle there.

Straight out in the middle there. Yeah, just kind of like right right in

Yeah, just kind of like right right in there.

There. It's just to the right of the left

It's just to the right of the left stump.

Stump. I'd argue it's more It's just to the

I'd argue it's more It's just to the left of the right stump.

Left of the right stump. Oh [ __ ] I'm Maybe I'm looking at the

Oh [ __ ] I'm Maybe I'm looking at the wrong thing.

Wrong thing. Find it. Yeah, I got it.

Find it. Yeah, I got it. That's it, baby.

That's it, baby. Rosethroatated beckard with no rose

rosethroatated beckard with no rose throat. From the outside, you might hear

throat. From the outside, you might hear rare bird and you're like, "Oh shit."

rare bird and you're like, "Oh shit." Exotic, like brightly colored. Like, you

Exotic, like brightly colored. Like, you know, a lot of times that just means

know, a lot of times that just means like a dumpy little brown bird washed up

like a dumpy little brown bird washed up in someone's backyard and they're like,

in someone's backyard and they're like, "Holy [ __ ] this isn't usually here.

"Holy [ __ ] this isn't usually here. Everybody come in, get it on your county

Everybody come in, get it on your county list." Like,

list." Like, I don't know. Like, it it's cool to be

I don't know. Like, it it's cool to be that excited about a bird, but I think

that excited about a bird, but I think it was just to get it on their list. And

it was just to get it on their list. And I don't know. Like you think of the

I don't know. Like you think of the carbon footprint that's caused by all

carbon footprint that's caused by all this like chasing and rarity stuff. And

this like chasing and rarity stuff. And not to say that's wrong. I just I don't

not to say that's wrong. I just I don't know. I'm conflicted.

Know. I'm conflicted. Bird watchers are flocking to a San

Bird watchers are flocking to a San Francisco park hoping to catch a glimpse

Francisco park hoping to catch a glimpse or take a photo of a bird that's never

or take a photo of a bird that's never before seen in California.

Before seen in California. Today we're in San Francisco, the city,

Today we're in San Francisco, the city, and we're looking for a slatethroatated

and we're looking for a slatethroatated red start. A slatethroatated red start.

Red start. A slatethroatated red start. A rare bird.

A rare bird. We just started talking to random people

We just started talking to random people at the park, non-bird watchers. We just

at the park, non-bird watchers. We just started asking them about if they had

started asking them about if they had seen a rare bird.

Seen a rare bird. We haven't seen him, but everybody else

We haven't seen him, but everybody else has. Okay.

Has. Okay. It's not here. He's in the tree over the

It's not here. He's in the tree over the trees here.

Trees here. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Do you know what it looks like?

Okay. Do you know what it looks like? Oh, we've seen pictures of it.

Oh, we've seen pictures of it. Do you know what it's called?

Do you know what it's called? Uh red start.

Uh red start. Look on the Google.

Look on the Google. Okay. Google it.

Okay. Google it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the best

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the best because they don't give a [ __ ] about

because they don't give a [ __ ] about birds, but they're just catching like

birds, but they're just catching like tertiary information.

Tertiary information. Most of them kind of were up there.

Most of them kind of were up there. Okay.

Okay. Almost to the end is where I've seen

Almost to the end is where I've seen people kind of stop and

people kind of stop and look through the bushes and

look through the bushes and and they have those great big like

and they have those great big like telescope camera things.

Telescope camera things. Some of them. Yeah.

Some of them. Yeah. Do you know what the bird looks like?

Do you know what the bird looks like? No, I don't. I'm not a burer.

No, I don't. I'm not a burer. Oh, so and I've asked the burers aren't

Oh, so and I've asked the burers aren't that friendly to me. But uh although

that friendly to me. But uh although somebody said a friend of mine said,

somebody said a friend of mine said, "Oh, they were very friendly to him."

"Oh, they were very friendly to him." So,

So, must be me.

Must be me. I was the bird was over there and some

I was the bird was over there and some guy came breathlessly with his camera

guy came breathlessly with his camera and binoculars. He had just driven up

and binoculars. He had just driven up from LA.

From LA. That's a 600 mile drive

That's a 600 mile drive or sorry, sorry, souththeast side of the

or sorry, sorry, souththeast side of the corn of the park.

It was just right in here. Guys, we got it.

Guys, we got it. Over here.

Over here. It's right in here somewhere.

It's right in here somewhere. Here it is. Right here.

Here it is. Right here. No, that's a sparrow.

No, that's a sparrow. It's a sparrow.

It's a sparrow. That's it. No, that's a sparrow. Sorry.

That's it. No, that's a sparrow. Sorry. Song sparrow.

Song sparrow. And then some one of the guys spots it.

And then some one of the guys spots it. Some guy spots it.

Stumbling, tripping over branches. Incredible.

Incredible. I heard a guy fart like just fart from

I heard a guy fart like just fart from excitement.

It's [ __ ] awesome. We got just brief looks at this little bird. It was just

looks at this little bird. It was just like a quick little flash of gray and

like a quick little flash of gray and red through the binoculars, through the

red through the binoculars, through the camera. I mean, there was a woman who

camera. I mean, there was a woman who was almost in tears, just immediately

was almost in tears, just immediately texting her loved ones, calling them,

texting her loved ones, calling them, letting them know that she did, in fact,

letting them know that she did, in fact, see the small little bird. I mean, all

see the small little bird. I mean, all these people ended up being on the on

these people ended up being on the on the boat the next day.

The boat the next day. We were told we weren't really going to

We were told we weren't really going to have a sense of this whole bird watching

have a sense of this whole bird watching thing without getting on a boat. All

thing without getting on a boat. All right, it's the night before our big

right, it's the night before our big boat trip. Big seabirding boat bout here

boat trip. Big seabirding boat bout here and uh we're stealth camping in the

and uh we're stealth camping in the marina parking lot, of course,

marina parking lot, of course, naturally. Um what do we got on the menu

naturally. Um what do we got on the menu tonight? Um well, we're doing some

tonight? Um well, we're doing some science here. Quinton is going to be the

science here. Quinton is going to be the control group.

Control group. Now, if we're anything, it's men of the

Now, if we're anything, it's men of the scientific method. We'd never really

scientific method. We'd never really been on an ocean boat before. So I took

been on an ocean boat before. So I took half a pill of diamond hydro mine and

half a pill of diamond hydro mine and eight.

Eight. So there. So okay. So here's my half

So there. So okay. So here's my half pill there. A little more than half.

Pill there. A little more than half. Taking out a little bit.

Taking out a little bit. Half pill and half moon bay.

Half pill and half moon bay. And Quinton was our control group. He

And Quinton was our control group. He didn't take anything except for a little

didn't take anything except for a little bit of mushrooms.

We accidentally booked the boat trip with the varsity team. We had some real

with the varsity team. We had some real bird watching allstars on board. Ezekiel

bird watching allstars on board. Ezekiel Dobson,

Dobson, Alex Lamro, and the guy who farted the

Alex Lamro, and the guy who farted the day before.

Day before. My mushrooms just hit.

My mushrooms just hit. They just hit.

They just hit. This is Alvaro, and he's the coolest guy

This is Alvaro, and he's the coolest guy on this boat, and it's not even close.

On this boat, and it's not even close. Ocean birds, you know, it's kind of like

Ocean birds, you know, it's kind of like the the final frontier of birding in a

the the final frontier of birding in a sense. Like, you just It's It's a little

sense. Like, you just It's It's a little insane. It's a little intense.

You know, the thing came from halfway across the world and there you are on

across the world and there you are on this little pin on the ocean on this

this little pin on the ocean on this little boat and you're like 30 people

little boat and you're like 30 people around you and you're the only humans

around you and you're the only humans that are seeing that that rarity. It's

that are seeing that that rarity. It's pretty cool.

Pretty cool. You know, we barely did research on the

You know, we barely did research on the land birds. The seabirds we did no

land birds. The seabirds we did no research on.

Research on. Alex, what what kind of birds are those?

Alex, what what kind of birds are those? Those are marbled.

Those are marbled. Two tiny ones.

Two tiny ones. They nest. They breed in the old growth

They nest. They breed in the old growth redwoods.

Redwoods. We also had Nigel Thornberry on board.

We also had Nigel Thornberry on board. He yelled out clock numbers for 10 hours

He yelled out clock numbers for 10 hours straight for some reason.

Straight for some reason. Going away at 9:00.

Going away at 9:00. 9:00 there. 9:00 above horizon.

9:00 there. 9:00 above horizon. Going left.

Going left. Still flying around. It's 9:00.

Still flying around. It's 9:00. All you see is like a little gray dot

All you see is like a little gray dot just traveling across the ocean while

just traveling across the ocean while you're holding on to the rail and just

you're holding on to the rail and just going, "Yep. Oh, yep. That's my lifer."

going, "Yep. Oh, yep. That's my lifer." Mhm.

Mhm. That's my life.

That's my life. Basically, nobody gets sick, you know,

Basically, nobody gets sick, you know, actually. Like, that's insanely rare to

actually. Like, that's insanely rare to actually get somebody get seasick on our

actually get somebody get seasick on our trips. I mean, you really I tell you the

trips. I mean, you really I tell you the truth, you sort of I think you'd have to

truth, you sort of I think you'd have to be kind of a lightweight to get seasick

be kind of a lightweight to get seasick on our trips. They're very comfortable

on our trips. They're very comfortable boats.

I think I think just one bout of it and I should be good.

I should be good. I think since it's it's out now, I think

I think since it's it's out now, I think I'm I'm good from here on out.

Arctic turn right overhead.

While Q was vomiting, I was slowly getting nauseous and dehydrated. And the

getting nauseous and dehydrated. And the last thing I heard before I fainted was

last thing I heard before I fainted was Guadalupe Merlet.

Guadalupe Merlet. [Music]

[Music] We just saw a single Guadalupe Merlet

We just saw a single Guadalupe Merlet off the front of the boat.

Off the front of the boat. First time I've ever seen that. And how

First time I've ever seen that. And how are you feeling right now?

Are you feeling right now? Pretty uh pump, pretty sunburnt, pretty

Pretty uh pump, pretty sunburnt, pretty hungry.

I think you're doing better than us right now.

Uh so I got seven new year birds today, which puts me at 7:22 for lower 48.

Which puts me at 7:22 for lower 48. Let's go. So I am now officially the

Let's go. So I am now officially the youngest berter ever to reach 700

youngest berter ever to reach 700 species in the lower 48. Well, I guess

species in the lower 48. Well, I guess you could say 722, but 700 is just a big

you could say 722, but 700 is just a big like mile marker. Um, I think their

like mile marker. Um, I think their previous record before that was 680 and

previous record before that was 680 and he was 20 years old. Um, so yeah, beat

he was 20 years old. Um, so yeah, beat him by a year and crushed him by 20

him by a year and crushed him by 20 birds. I knew it would be very difficult

birds. I knew it would be very difficult for him to set a record,

for him to set a record, but the record I thought he had a very

but the record I thought he had a very high probability of of of hitting was

high probability of of of hitting was being the youngest burer to ever hit

being the youngest burer to ever hit 700.

700. So, I told him every time I would talk

So, I told him every time I would talk to him, "What's your time horizon? When

to him, "What's your time horizon? When are you going to hit it? You've got to

are you going to hit it? You've got to hit it before you're 20. You've got to

hit it before you're 20. You've got to hit it before you're 20." And he mapped

hit it before you're 20." And he mapped it all out. He said, "Okay, I I I think

it all out. He said, "Okay, I I I think I can. I think I can." And and sure

I can. I think I can." And and sure enough, you know, he you know, he did.

Enough, you know, he you know, he did. He's He's approaching your guys' record,

He's He's approaching your guys' record, and I was wondering, do you think he's

and I was wondering, do you think he's going to break the record?

Going to break the record? Well, absolutely. At this point, he's

Well, absolutely. At this point, he's only a few birds away, and he's still

only a few birds away, and he's still got months to go. Um the biggest reason

got months to go. Um the biggest reason he was able to do that obviously is

he was able to do that obviously is because there's like 20 or more birds

because there's like 20 or more birds that have been accepted as countable

that have been accepted as countable from what there were last year. So mo

from what there were last year. So mo most of that is not I mean they'll

most of that is not I mean they'll probably add more birds next year. He's

probably add more birds next year. He's got about 10 parrots and great tit

got about 10 parrots and great tit European goldfish and just the list goes

European goldfish and just the list goes on of birds that they've added to the

on of birds that they've added to the list since we did it in 2022.

List since we did it in 2022. So they're making it easy now, huh?

So they're making it easy now, huh? Every year it gets easier. I mean, I

Every year it gets easier. I mean, I guess we could we we could Ruben and I

guess we could we we could Ruben and I may have to do it again next year in a

may have to do it again next year in a year or two and show Zeke Bson that he's

year or two and show Zeke Bson that he's not top dog.

Not top dog. [Music]

Black turn. Didn't know that that was a bird until today.

Bird until today. [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music] [ __ ] so far away. Lost it. I [ __ ]

[ __ ] so far away. Lost it. I [ __ ] lost it through the thing. God damn it.

Lost it through the thing. God damn it. There it is. California condors.

There it is. California condors. [Music]

[Music] Oh, that's beautiful.

Oh, that's beautiful. Oh, it's a beautiful bird.

Oh, it's a beautiful bird. You guys are beautiful.

[Music]

It's just as far as this thing can go. It's just little spinning birds out in

It's just little spinning birds out in that water.

That water. [Music]

just just woke up. I mean, Quinton's

Quinton's flinging the door open. We're camping

flinging the door open. We're camping off the side of a highway last night

off the side of a highway last night just to pull off.

And uh Quinton's on uh Thrasher. You can probably hear it in the background.

Probably hear it in the background. Sometimes it just works out.

Sometimes it just works out. I mean, did you even have a morning

I mean, did you even have a morning piss?

Piss? I just pissed. Yeah. The only things

I just pissed. Yeah. The only things I've done this morning are piss and grab

I've done this morning are piss and grab my camera. My eyes, they still don't

my camera. My eyes, they still don't work. They don't work yet.

Work. They don't work yet. That's my life for California thrasher

That's my life for California thrasher right there. And you're not going to

right there. And you're not going to ever [ __ ] take that away from me,

ever [ __ ] take that away from me, okay? Nobody's taking that away from me.

Okay? Nobody's taking that away from me. Not EIRD, not Merlin, not Cornell, not

Not EIRD, not Merlin, not Cornell, not the [ __ ] park service. Nobody's

the [ __ ] park service. Nobody's taking this [ __ ] [ __ ] away from me.

Taking this [ __ ] [ __ ] away from me. Okay, this is my lifer. I saw this bird

Okay, this is my lifer. I saw this bird and nobody's taking it away. Okay, I

and nobody's taking it away. Okay, I hear it, too. I'm tired of these [ __ ]

hear it, too. I'm tired of these [ __ ] [ __ ] who work for the bird software.

[ __ ] who work for the bird software. Oh, you didn't wear you didn't wear

Oh, you didn't wear you didn't wear this. You didn't see that. Oh, you wear

this. You didn't see that. Oh, you wear that at the right time. There's no way.

That at the right time. There's no way. [ __ ] you. [ __ ]

[ __ ] you. [ __ ] Check this out.

Check this out. [Applause]

I have a fever right now. My throat's killing me.

The van's dead. People that haven't done a big year, you

People that haven't done a big year, you know, they sit there and think, "Oh,

know, they sit there and think, "Oh, this just sounds so exciting and

this just sounds so exciting and glamorous." 2010 Kia Sedona

glamorous." 2010 Kia Sedona uh CV axle and axle nut passenger side.

Uh CV axle and axle nut passenger side. Uh it's just a base model.

Uh it's just a base model. Yeah. Couldn't swing the LX.

Yeah. Couldn't swing the LX. Beak to head ratio is uh bigger on the

Beak to head ratio is uh bigger on the uh Harry than it is on the Downey. It's

uh Harry than it is on the Downey. It's actually just a bigger bird in general.

Actually just a bigger bird in general. [Music]

[Music] The voltage down there. It should be

The voltage down there. It should be better.

Better. The vibes have gone south.

The vibes have gone south. I'm not even going to try to be positive

I'm not even going to try to be positive right now. There's no point.

Right now. There's no point. Smoked that thing. That's a dinger.

Smoked that thing. That's a dinger. Yeah, dude.

Yeah, dude. Oh yeah. Hold that thing up like the

Oh yeah. Hold that thing up like the Stanley Cup.

Stanley Cup. There's your problem, son. And I I think

There's your problem, son. And I I think the even harder part, and this would be

the even harder part, and this would be where it'd get me, is the endurance.

Where it'd get me, is the endurance. Just you got to put one foot in front of

Just you got to put one foot in front of the other, and you're like, "Oh crap. I

the other, and you're like, "Oh crap. I don't want to go out. It's 95 degrees,

don't want to go out. It's 95 degrees, 95% humidity, and that bird might not be

95% humidity, and that bird might not be there. It's a three-hour drive one way."

there. It's a three-hour drive one way." And I you get to a point and you're just

And I you get to a point and you're just like, I mean, this is insane. You know,

like, I mean, this is insane. You know, this isn't to me, this isn't worth it.

This isn't to me, this isn't worth it. Especially somebody who's kind of from

Especially somebody who's kind of from the outside.

The outside. Come on. You come guzzler. Oh, we still

Come on. You come guzzler. Oh, we still got a bunch of left.

Got a bunch of left. Let me tell you what. You go like this.

Let me tell you what. You go like this. You hold two. You hold two of them. You

You hold two. You hold two of them. You go.

Go. Guess what? Price just got cut in half.

Guess what? Price just got cut in half. This country is so big and you have to

This country is so big and you have to go

Go All like everywhere in the country to

all like everywhere in the country to see enough birds to

see enough birds to be in the power rankings or whatever the

be in the power rankings or whatever the [ __ ] that is.

[ __ ] that is. I I like bird watching, but I don't like

I I like bird watching, but I don't like it in um the competitive sense. But

it in um the competitive sense. But we're going to finish out the year

we're going to finish out the year because that's what we set out to do.

Because that's what we set out to do. We're doing this because we want to

We're doing this because we want to explore this uh subculture of America.

Explore this uh subculture of America. And when you do that, you dive all the

And when you do that, you dive all the way in. You know, for me, it takes a lot

way in. You know, for me, it takes a lot of fun out of it cuz I do love bird

of fun out of it cuz I do love bird watching now. It's fun as [ __ ] You see

watching now. It's fun as [ __ ] You see these little birds flying around? I

these little birds flying around? I didn't think twice about it before all

didn't think twice about it before all this. I didn't think about there's

this. I didn't think about there's different there's different types of

different there's different types of sparrows. It was here that I realized

sparrows. It was here that I realized this is a classic case of the hero's

this is a classic case of the hero's journey. You remember that old story

journey. You remember that old story structure that dusty eighth grade

structure that dusty eighth grade English teacher wouldn't shut up about?

English teacher wouldn't shut up about? It goes like this. The hero starts out

It goes like this. The hero starts out in the ordinary world. Thought about how

in the ordinary world. Thought about how crazy it would be if you knew all the

crazy it would be if you knew all the birds in that book.

Birds in that book. Then they act on an adventure.

Then they act on an adventure. Seeing as many species as you can in one

Seeing as many species as you can in one calendar year

calendar year and then doubt starts to set in.

And then doubt starts to set in. Yeah, I know exactly what that is. And

Yeah, I know exactly what that is. And then they meet a mentor.

Then they meet a mentor. And actually going back to our

And actually going back to our accomplishments.

Accomplishments. And then they fully commit.

And then they fully commit. Look at that number 99.

Look at that number 99. And then the grind sets in.

And then the grind sets in. This is a common mosquito. And why does

This is a common mosquito. And why does man fight mosquitoes?

Man fight mosquitoes? And then they get close to the ordeal.

And then they get close to the ordeal. I am growing tired of it.

I am growing tired of it. And then they hit the ordeal.

And then they hit the ordeal. You know what? I I like bird watching,

You know what? I I like bird watching, but I don't like it in um the

but I don't like it in um the competitive sense.

Competitive sense. But usually after the ordeal, the hero

But usually after the ordeal, the hero gets a reward.

Gets a reward. Buddy, what are you doing with those?

Buddy, what are you doing with those? What's your plan? You're either late or

What's your plan? You're either late or early.

Early. Yeah, the grass was [ __ ] bomber

Yeah, the grass was [ __ ] bomber today.

Today. You were playing Blitz Creek bop through

You were playing Blitz Creek bop through the uh headphones in your nose.

The uh headphones in your nose. That was pretty awesome. I remember

That was pretty awesome. I remember being pretty blazed just laying in the

being pretty blazed just laying in the cot just in and out of consciousness

cot just in and out of consciousness and then Owen sitting outside of the van

and then Owen sitting outside of the van just pretty high just going woodpecker

just pretty high just going woodpecker and I just woke up. I just heard him

and I just woke up. I just heard him just go woodpecker. We both look outside

just go woodpecker. We both look outside and it's the three-toed woodpecker. The

and it's the three-toed woodpecker. The thing we've been looking for for months.

Thing we've been looking for for months. No, you're asleep 30 seconds.

No, you're asleep 30 seconds. I know. I just woke up.

I know. I just woke up. Shit's crazy. He's got three toes.

Shit's crazy. He's got three toes. We learned a couple valuable lessons

We learned a couple valuable lessons from this little three-toed bird.

From this little three-toed bird. It turns out if you don't use playback

It turns out if you don't use playback and you just take a couple edibles at

and you just take a couple edibles at the top of a ski hill that the bird's

the top of a ski hill that the bird's just going to show right up. It's

just going to show right up. It's actually going to wake you up.

Actually going to wake you up. Like you're literally just doing a big

Like you're literally just doing a big year to like be competitive and say like

year to like be competitive and say like I, you know, achieved this thing. Like

I, you know, achieved this thing. Like what is that doing for birds? It's like

what is that doing for birds? It's like it's like not it's not really adding

it's like not it's not really adding anything when since it's already been

anything when since it's already been done so many times. Not to say like you

done so many times. Not to say like you can't do more, but like I don't know

can't do more, but like I don't know like why is that kind of the epitome of

like why is that kind of the epitome of success when

success when it's not really doing anything for

it's not really doing anything for birds? warning about the number of birds

birds? warning about the number of birds in North America

in North America in the last 10 years.

In the last 10 years. Hardest hit grassland birds like

Hardest hit grassland birds like sparrows and goldfinches losing more

sparrows and goldfinches losing more than half their population.

Than half their population. Grassland habitats experiencing the

Grassland habitats experiencing the biggest drops in population.

Biggest drops in population. All over the world, insect species are

All over the world, insect species are disappearing at an alarming rate.

Disappearing at an alarming rate. The birds need a space to breed. They

The birds need a space to breed. They need a space to stop on migration, which

need a space to stop on migration, which is a whole string of endless spots. And

is a whole string of endless spots. And then they need the wintering grounds.

Then they need the wintering grounds. There there's birds that are going to go

There there's birds that are going to go extinct before I ever have a chance to

extinct before I ever have a chance to see them for sure. But it's very sad.

See them for sure. But it's very sad. So,

So, this is the entrance to our favorite

this is the entrance to our favorite bird watching spot. They tore down a

bird watching spot. They tore down a patch of the woods and built a bunch of

patch of the woods and built a bunch of apartments.

Apartments. You know, maybe there's a fourth one in

You know, maybe there's a fourth one in there.

There. And And you know, we wouldn't have

And And you know, we wouldn't have parked so close had we known.

Parked so close had we known. Yeah. So, we're thinking we're going to

Yeah. So, we're thinking we're going to bring a cone here and just put a cone by

bring a cone here and just put a cone by it.

It. I don't know if that is that chill or is

I don't know if that is that chill or is that We're just kind of looking out.

That We're just kind of looking out. The next time we checked up on it, we

The next time we checked up on it, we marked it with flags so nobody would

marked it with flags so nobody would mess with it.

Mess with it. Yeah, I took them from like they were

Yeah, I took them from like they were marking like a water pipe or something.

Marking like a water pipe or something. Nothing important.

Nothing important. Just checking up on this kill deer nest.

Just checking up on this kill deer nest. Looking good.

Looking good. And then we went to go see if they

And then we went to go see if they finally hatched.

Finally hatched. Oh, there's the

Oh no, they mowed it.

They mowed it. Look, the flags are just strewn about.

Look, the flags are just strewn about. They killed a whole bunch of kill deer.

They killed a whole bunch of kill deer. They were cooking for so long.

They were cooking for so long. They were probably like almost all the

They were probably like almost all the way about to hatch.

Way about to hatch. We can't We checked in like four

We can't We checked in like four separate times. Put the flags up and

separate times. Put the flags up and everything.

Everything. Holy [ __ ] I mean, how many times does

Holy [ __ ] I mean, how many times does this happen every day? You know,

this happen every day? You know, this is right up there with 911,

this is right up there with 911, dude. What are what are four little

dude. What are what are four little brown and black speckled eggs supposed

brown and black speckled eggs supposed to do against those two big bucks?

To do against those two big bucks? Nothing. Dude,

Nothing. Dude, the best thing you know people can do,

the best thing you know people can do, the quickest thing to save birds is

the quickest thing to save birds is either buying habitat, preserving

either buying habitat, preserving habitat, putting land, your land, your

habitat, putting land, your land, your own land under a permanent conservation

own land under a permanent conservation easement. As a common person, that's

easement. As a common person, that's what I can do, you know, is set aside

what I can do, you know, is set aside land for wildlife. There's ways to

land for wildlife. There's ways to develop urban areas and cities that

develop urban areas and cities that doesn't involve destroying habitats.

Doesn't involve destroying habitats. Mine's the same. I got the white tape

Mine's the same. I got the white tape and it's just so dirty and it's I have

and it's just so dirty and it's I have hockey tape where I've like taped where

hockey tape where I've like taped where this stuff is falling off, you know?

This stuff is falling off, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. So sick. So this is the uh trusty ride.

So sick. So this is the uh trusty ride. That's good.

That's good. Synergy, man.

Synergy, man. Yeah. All right, let's go see some

Yeah. All right, let's go see some stuff.

Stuff. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Like that's just one of those you're

Like that's just one of those you're like what? like, you know.

Like what? like, you know. Yeah. You're like, that's kind of an

Yeah. You're like, that's kind of an exotic bird. And then

exotic bird. And then meanwhile, there's like a dump truck

meanwhile, there's like a dump truck over there.

Over there. Yeah. So, yeah, this used to be a dump.

Yeah. So, yeah, this used to be a dump. And yeah, there were just like tons of

And yeah, there were just like tons of tires and just trash. But the Army Corps

tires and just trash. But the Army Corps of Engineers came in and cleaned it up.

Of Engineers came in and cleaned it up. And since then, there have been like

And since then, there have been like over 200 species of birds documented

over 200 species of birds documented here in this riverbed. So, like we're I

here in this riverbed. So, like we're I don't know, a mile from downtown.

When the cliff swallows were here, they built all their nests. So, oh yes,

built all their nests. So, oh yes, they were living right under here.

They were living right under here. Um, it's great to go off chasing birds

Um, it's great to go off chasing birds and stuff, but I think sometimes if we

and stuff, but I think sometimes if we tell people that you have to go chasing

tell people that you have to go chasing stuff, then you tell people who live

stuff, then you tell people who live away from where the chasing happens that

away from where the chasing happens that birding is not for them. And if you tell

birding is not for them. And if you tell them that birding is not for them, then

them that birding is not for them, then you tell them that where they live is

you tell them that where they live is not worthy of protection and worthy of

not worthy of protection and worthy of care.

Care. Phoebe. Yeah.

Phoebe. Yeah. Yeah. This is a lot of birds.

Yeah. This is a lot of birds. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the spot, man.

This is the spot, man. I think we think of like nature and

I think we think of like nature and wildlife like that in general. A lot of

wildlife like that in general. A lot of people uh like nature and wildlife is

people uh like nature and wildlife is something you you go out to see. It's

something you you go out to see. It's not where you are. But the more you pay

not where you are. But the more you pay attention to those kind of things, the

attention to those kind of things, the more you realize like no, nature, birds,

more you realize like no, nature, birds, wildlife, it's around us all the time.

Wildlife, it's around us all the time. I have a job where I sit in an office

I have a job where I sit in an office all week and I spend 40 hours just

all week and I spend 40 hours just thinking about like, "Oh, I wish I could

thinking about like, "Oh, I wish I could go outside." And then I come outside and

go outside." And then I come outside and like all of the like negative feelings I

like all of the like negative feelings I have at work just wash away. It's like

have at work just wash away. It's like all of my stress is gone cuz I'm I'm

all of my stress is gone cuz I'm I'm just living. Birding has kept me sane

just living. Birding has kept me sane and feeling like healthy and connected

and feeling like healthy and connected to the world. And like times when like

to the world. And like times when like everything feels really dark, I still

everything feels really dark, I still have birds and like honestly that's

have birds and like honestly that's that's why I got like the bird tattoos.

That's why I got like the bird tattoos. It's like it's a reminder of like the

It's like it's a reminder of like the things that bring me joy and that are

things that bring me joy and that are beautiful in the world.

Beautiful in the world. All this happy gumball candy cane talk

All this happy gumball candy cane talk is in stark contrast to the competitive

is in stark contrast to the competitive side of birding. I reached out to one of

side of birding. I reached out to one of the most accomplished listers in the

the most accomplished listers in the country. He told me his big year nearly

country. He told me his big year nearly killed him.

Killed him. It's purely a listing game. So just by

It's purely a listing game. So just by the nature of that, you're giving up the

the nature of that, you're giving up the real true like essence of birding and

real true like essence of birding and bird watching. And

bird watching. And I think listing is fine, but I think the

I think listing is fine, but I think the problem is is that's like the only

problem is is that's like the only reason people are birding. Yeah. A lot

reason people are birding. Yeah. A lot of the time.

Of the time. That's what it seems like.

That's what it seems like. And I really don't like that.

And I really don't like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Um and I I think EIRD is also a really

Um and I I think EIRD is also a really great tool and I actually used it in my

great tool and I actually used it in my master's work. Um so I mean it's amazing

master's work. Um so I mean it's amazing and it's an amazing source and you can

and it's an amazing source and you can learn a lot uh you know from these

learn a lot uh you know from these millions of observations that get

millions of observations that get submitted. But I think especially for

submitted. But I think especially for people getting into birds, it's kind of

people getting into birds, it's kind of detrimental because that's all they're

detrimental because that's all they're caring about.

Caring about. If Eird didn't exist, would you still go

If Eird didn't exist, would you still go bird watching?

Bird watching? No.

No. No. EIRD has has been so ingrained in

No. EIRD has has been so ingrained in their way of birding or at least their

their way of birding or at least their way of like documenting and

way of like documenting and consolidating or whatever that it might

consolidating or whatever that it might really challenge like they're like you

really challenge like they're like you know am I really just interested in it

know am I really just interested in it for the birds or is this listing

for the birds or is this listing component you know taking over

component you know taking over the whole listing and chasing birds and

the whole listing and chasing birds and one upping your friends in one way or

one upping your friends in one way or the other but it's kind of all left me

the other but it's kind of all left me at this point it's really about enjoying

at this point it's really about enjoying being outside nature and it's kind of a

being outside nature and it's kind of a total joy of birding. You know, it

total joy of birding. You know, it sounds corny, but it really is.

Sounds corny, but it really is. What's my ABA list or what's my county

What's my ABA list or what's my county list or state list and backyard list,

list or state list and backyard list, you know, all that stuff. Yeah. At some

you know, all that stuff. Yeah. At some point, at least for me, I'm like, I kind

point, at least for me, I'm like, I kind of want to get back to my roots and I

of want to get back to my roots and I want to put the watching back in bird

want to put the watching back in bird watching.

Watching. That's gold. For the last bit of the

That's gold. For the last bit of the year, we had many opportunities to add

year, we had many opportunities to add rare birds to our fancy little list, but

rare birds to our fancy little list, but we just didn't have the mustard. I know

we just didn't have the mustard. I know that sounds like loser speak, but to be

that sounds like loser speak, but to be honest with you, it just wasn't really

honest with you, it just wasn't really worth it to us.

Worth it to us. And like I mean, look at all these angry

And like I mean, look at all these angry ass plants, dude.

Ass plants, dude. The plants are

The plants are we got to go through there. You [ __ ]

we got to go through there. You [ __ ] kidding me? It's one of those instances

kidding me? It's one of those instances and it's like how bad do we want to see

and it's like how bad do we want to see this bird?

This bird? Now, uh we got word that Ezekiel Dobson

Now, uh we got word that Ezekiel Dobson is he's in Maine right now

is he's in Maine right now and he's traveling to the Keys because

and he's traveling to the Keys because there's a rare bird there. That's a

there's a rare bird there. That's a 26-hour drive.

26-hour drive. Here's here's what the bird looks like.

Here's here's what the bird looks like. I I almost can't believe this.

I I almost can't believe this. Why aren't we going to break the record?

Why aren't we going to break the record? Cuz we don't have the drive.

Cuz we don't have the drive. I don't care.

I don't care. We didn't have the drive. You know, we

We didn't have the drive. You know, we didn't have the gumption for some of

didn't have the gumption for some of this.

This. So instead of chasing another check

So instead of chasing another check mark, we said yes to a generous Florida

mark, we said yes to a generous Florida man with a boat who mentioned something

man with a boat who mentioned something about flamingos.

About flamingos. Flamingos were already on our list. Had

Flamingos were already on our list. Had been since January.

Been since January. Uh some of the worst looks you'll ever

Uh some of the worst looks you'll ever get at American flamingo.

Get at American flamingo. But this time we were actually going to

But this time we were actually going to watch them. You know, like Sparky said.

Watch them. You know, like Sparky said. Hey, Captain. Where we at right now?

Hey, Captain. Where we at right now? We are on the south side of Frank Key in

We are on the south side of Frank Key in Florida Bay Everglades National Park.

What are we trying to get on here? Cut through this channel.

Through this channel. 40 flamingos

40 flamingos or more thanks to this guy right here.

Or more thanks to this guy right here. Guy right here. He's got them on a

Guy right here. He's got them on a string for us.

String for us. I can't owl them in though, bro.

I can't owl them in though, bro. I thought I was cool. I could call in B

I thought I was cool. I could call in B owls, but now doesn't seem that cool.

[Music]

[Music] That's still cool.

That's still cool. That's still cool to see him go. Damn.

[Music] No way. Are you kidding me?

No way. Are you kidding me? Are you sitting there?

[Music]

That's Wow. [ __ ] dude. You kidding me?

You kidding me? Oh yeah,

Oh yeah, that's decent.

That's decent. Jesus.

As much as we were done with this whole bird listing experiment, we needed to

bird listing experiment, we needed to put a cap on this whole thing. One last

put a cap on this whole thing. One last dance, one last cold night in the van. A

dance, one last cold night in the van. A way to end what we started.

One last dance. That's what's going on.

We stayed in one of these parking lots before.

Before. Oh yeah,

Oh yeah, no stranger.

No stranger. This ain't our first rodeo, but it might

This ain't our first rodeo, but it might be our last.

Be our last. I hope it's our last, dude.

I hope it's our last, dude. Um, Sparky gave us detailed instructions

Um, Sparky gave us detailed instructions on where the long-eared owls may be

on where the long-eared owls may be roosting.

Roosting. Well, I I there should be a for sure

Well, I I there should be a for sure spot in November, December in

spot in November, December in Minneapolis.

Minneapolis. We just park right next to right to bear

We just park right next to right to bear arms permit to carry.

Arms permit to carry. Just park next to the gun store, walk

Just park next to the gun store, walk through the marsh to the island of

through the marsh to the island of trees.

Trees. Why is it always such a hassle with this

Why is it always such a hassle with this type of bird?

Type of bird? Yeah, for real. We're trying to see this

Yeah, for real. We're trying to see this longeared owl trespassing on this side.

Longeared owl trespassing on this side. So you got you're dealing with shotgun

So you got you're dealing with shotgun on this side or if we're on the road on

on this side or if we're on the road on the other side, it's grizzly. For sure a

the other side, it's grizzly. For sure a grizzly bear is there. It looks like you

grizzly bear is there. It looks like you have to get past the bear to get to the

have to get past the bear to get to the bird.

Bird. It's like, you know, some birds it's

It's like, you know, some birds it's just like not worth it to go, you know,

just like not worth it to go, you know, what's to get on your list. And it's

what's to get on your list. And it's like we're walking through like grassy

like we're walking through like grassy marsh for like a mile.

Got cold feet about this whole thing, man.

Man. [ __ ] freezing feet.

[ __ ] freezing feet. This is

This is Oh, my dogs are barking, dude.

How big are these things? It said they were mediumsized.

Were mediumsized. A fuginous py, right? As we've seen,

A fuginous py, right? As we've seen, it's about that big.

It's about that big. Yeah. On a good day.

Yeah. On a good day. I'd call that small.

I'd call that small. Soaking wet. It's that big.

Soaking wet. It's that big. A great grey owl. I mean, I don't It

A great grey owl. I mean, I don't It It's pretty far away and it was dark,

It's pretty far away and it was dark, but I you know,

but I you know, 4T. So, this is somewhere in between.

4T. So, this is somewhere in between. Somewhere in between that. Yeah.

I look up for one second. It's 2 feet above my head.

Above my head. [ __ ] scared the [ __ ] out of me.

[ __ ] scared the [ __ ] out of me. [Music]

I mean, you just smashed the previous Kia minivan.

Kia minivan. That's exactly,

That's exactly, you know.

You know. [Music]

I want you to come.

[Music] You know what I mean? 575 ride, dude.

You know what I mean? 575 ride, dude. Oh, hell of a year.

Oh, hell of a year. Having such a great year and an awesome

Having such a great year and an awesome time. But God, I'm glad it's over, huh?

Time. But God, I'm glad it's over, huh? Jeez, that was What the hell were we

Jeez, that was What the hell were we thinking of?

Thinking of? We saw 579 species of birds last year,

We saw 579 species of birds last year, but nobody cares how many you've seen.

But nobody cares how many you've seen. Trust me. I'm

Trust me. I'm not bragging, but we've seen 579 species

not bragging, but we've seen 579 species of this year.

Of this year. Pretty cool. $1.99.

A pair of binoculars is a great conduit for adventure. Maybe the best one. And

for adventure. Maybe the best one. And I'm not talking about that curated kind

I'm not talking about that curated kind of adventure you see on postcards or

of adventure you see on postcards or Instagram accounts. I mean the real deal

Instagram accounts. I mean the real deal when you don't know where you'll sleep,

when you don't know where you'll sleep, where you'll be tomorrow, or who you'll

where you'll be tomorrow, or who you'll meet. Because well, birds can fly.

Meet. Because well, birds can fly. [Music]

[Music] Are you in there?

Are you in there? Um cost $35.

Um cost $35. $35.

But now every time we see one of these 579 birds, it carries an entire story. A

579 birds, it carries an entire story. A bird isn't just a bird after that. It's

bird isn't just a bird after that. It's a women's prison in New Mexico, a

a women's prison in New Mexico, a wheelchair stuck in the mud, or a

wheelchair stuck in the mud, or a thousand mosquito bites in North Dakota.

Thousand mosquito bites in North Dakota. Every one of them is a snapshot of some

Every one of them is a snapshot of some miserable perfect day on the road.

Miserable perfect day on the road. So pick up some binoculars. You just

So pick up some binoculars. You just might like it.

Might like it. Human powered flight coming in. Come on.

Human powered flight coming in. Come on. Pick it up.

Pick it up. Oh, dude. Be careful.

Oh, dude. Be careful. God's first to last.

Oh my god, dude.

But uh but anyway, I'm going to get back to bird watching now. Uh so see you on

to bird watching now. Uh so see you on the other side.

[Music] [Applause]

The rob is running down the road and the bird

is running down the road and the bird watchers giving him chase.

Watchers giving him chase. He's a grown ass man with the key of any

He's a grown ass man with the key of any man and he watches the birds all day.

Man and he watches the birds all day. [Applause]

[Music] He travels through the land with camera,

He travels through the land with camera, but it does bring

but it does bring me unstable and he probably needs some

me unstable and he probably needs some help.

Help. Now, if birds only have a cloa, they

Now, if birds only have a cloa, they only have one hole. Does that make them

only have one hole. Does that make them in themselves

in themselves all tainted?

All tainted? So they would be 90% taint, 10%

So they would be 90% taint, 10% cloa,

cloa, Mr. Joe Olie.

Mr. Joe Olie. Okay. Wow. And that's just right over

Okay. Wow. And that's just right over here.

Here. Hey, how are you?

Hey, how are you? Good. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Good. It's a pleasure to meet you. This is my uh first church service ever.

This is my uh first church service ever. Really? First service ever.

Really? First service ever. First service ever.

First service ever. Amazing. Where you from?

Amazing. Where you from? Uh St. Louis, Missouri.

Uh St. Louis, Missouri. Yeah. So, is this your family?

Yeah. So, is this your family? Uh, no, it's not. I'm just here by

Uh, no, it's not. I'm just here by myself. How did you change? Things going

myself. How did you change? Things going okay for you?

Okay for you? We're doing all right. I'm I kind of

We're doing all right. I'm I kind of recovering from the a little bit.

Recovering from the a little bit. Day 32 without marijuana and I don't

Day 32 without marijuana and I don't feel awesome.

Feel awesome. I recently got into bird watching, but

I recently got into bird watching, but uh it seems like I'm searching for

uh it seems like I'm searching for something. So that's why I ended up

something. So that's why I ended up here.

Here. Hope you can come back when you can. To

Hope you can come back when you can. To be praying for you, praying for you.

Be praying for you, praying for you. Praying for you.

Praying for you. Really blessed to meet you. Okay. All

Really blessed to meet you. Okay. All the best to you.

The best to you. Let's get out of here. I feel

Let's get out of here. I feel Right now I'm hearing blue gray nat

Right now I'm hearing blue gray nat catchers,

catchers, a blackpole warbler,

a blackpole warbler, plethonitary warbler, indigo bunting,

plethonitary warbler, indigo bunting, great crested fly catcher,

great crested fly catcher, a redheaded woodpecker,

a redheaded woodpecker, distant eastern wood pee-wee,

distant eastern wood pee-wee, and it is hard to turn off bird

and it is hard to turn off bird watching. Eastern wood peewee is getting

watching. Eastern wood peewee is getting a little closer.

Yellowthroated burrio. Just heard a wideeyed burrio, too, I think.

Wideeyed burrio, too, I think. You know, I'm not making a checklist for

You know, I'm not making a checklist for any of these.