Original subtitles

What?

Have you seen anyone else?

During this time?

No. Honestly, I haven't.

Have you?

I tried.

On how many dates did you go then?

One was enough.

Alright.

How was she?

Not my type.

I love this wind.

Yeah. It's so perfect!

I am wearing trousers!

Are you being serious?

Yeah...

Hang on, hang on!

There's nobody around!

I must have said this before at some point but...

What were you gonna say?

I don't want this moment to end...

I'm gonna

make you stick

- To What? - Here!

- To this thing? - Yeah.

In a way that I won't fall?

In a way that you're going to stay here forever.

It's funny. Just your nose is red!

I know...

- Yours is a little bit as well... - yeah, I know, like...

Here! It's really weird.

It's the sunglasses..

Attractive...

What?

Attractive noses.

Yeah.

They are meant for each other.

Maybe we are.

It's so nice...

I know, so nice...

So different.

I've made you discover

somewhere you didn't even know.

- In your own country... - That I should have known...

You ashamed?

I'm not ashamed.

Should I be ashamed?

What?

Nothing...

Come on say it.

I'm gonna miss you!

Come with me.

It's tempting...

Come with me!

Don't leave me

You are leaving me

I'm not moving anywhere...

That's true!

I'm sticking to this spot.

Let's stick to this together.

Okay. It sounds good...

It sounds like a plan...

I don't think I will be able to leave.

I don't wanna be able to leave.

So just...

Don't!

Goddamn you!

Hello!

Hey! What are you up to?

You look so hot!

Thanks!

What trousers are these?

These are psychedelic.

So coffee, tea, beer?

Yes, please. Beer.

What do you want to eat?

Noodles? Strawberries?

No, I'm good.

Alright.

Fuck I've got so fat. I swear to God!

I still haven't booked that photoshoot!

You always say that you got fat.

Bur you are still the same to be honest!

No, I'm always fat.

Alright. Let's go.

What would you think if I sang out of tune

would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing out of key.

I'm a loser

And I'm not what I appear to be.

- I forgot that chord!. - Yeah, it's was so cool.

You were doing like DAM DAM

DAM

Just do that.

Yes. That's it! Okay, cool!

Let me go back!

Dolly'll never go away again.

Who's the hottest woman on the planet?

- Me! Me! Me! - You are!

I'm quite hot, actually.

That's so good! Let's stick to this one!

I know the thoughts that surround you.

Cause I can look inside your head.

Well, except for that bit at the end I think it was ok.

Thank you!

- Fuck! - Bitch!

You messing up my coke?

Ready!

Oh God!

It's not making things up!

- It's what I feel! - Cause you're living in your fantasy Anna!

- Oh yeah! - This is not reality!

Have you ever ridden a motorbike at 100 miles per hour?

And found yourself thinking...

What if the end was here?

And then wondered whether you'd have been lucky enough

To think the same again and tell someone about it

And then thought:

"Maybe at the end of the day it wouldn't make any difference...

Maybe...

At the end of the day the thought of that is not that scary."

And then looked at yourself from the outside and thought:

"This cannot be my life!"

Nobody's going to come and save you!

Scattered thoughts.

One writes in the desperate attempt to get to the core of things

It is a mere illusion there is no core of things

Everything is relative. There is no such thing as the truth...

I write in the hope to find some clarity

Yet it gets shadier and shadier...

You want to continue writing?

No, I am fine. I don't want to write.

Do you still love me?

Yes, of course.

I just feel very lonely.

But I'm here.

I feel like I'm such a failure.

It's not true Anna.

I mean, look at me. All these years and I haven't fucking...

I kept making promises to you... I kept saying...

And what makes me feel even worse is that you even believed in me

- You even thought that I. - I still do.

I don't know how you can

I don't even know how you can fucking be close to me.

How can you even be with me?

I would be so fucking disgusted if I were you.

I wouldn't even want to be close to me!

To myself.

Maybe put things in perspective, or just...

Cause you're not doing things

which are good for you and I don't like to see you like this.

What's the alternative? You keep saying you want to have a future with me.

Yeah

And I can't give you a future. I can't give you shit!

What can I give you? Fucking....

This fucking rubbish... What is it gonna be?

Where is it gonna go?

Maybe try something else, I don't know.

Like what?

Something that makes you happy.

But that's the whole point.

Does that make you happy?

There is nothing that makes me happy...

I can't think of anything

- That makes me happy. - Of course there is!

Because I don't see the fucking point in anything.

But is writing helping you to see the point?

It's not but...

That's the reason why I write...

Cause I try to find the point.

Try...

To get a bit out of that... To just have fun!

I can't get fucking out of my brain, can I?

How do I get out of my brain?

How do I shut it?

Just by living instead of writing all the time

and being enclosed on your own feelings.

I can't shut it down.

And I can't enjoy...

I can't enjoy being with you

just simply doing stuff the way we used to because

I am tormented by

how I'm going to...

Offer you something nice.

And I can't...

I can't give you a fucking thing.

I can't give you shit.

But you still love me?

I love you, but I don't know how to make you happy.

I don't know how to make...

It seems pretty simple!

I don't know how to offer you happiness.

I don't know how to give you the life I want to give you.

I don't know how to do that.

I've never loved anyone the way I love you.

I've never even been in love before.

But I don't want to see you miserable because of me,

because of my craziness, because of my madness.

And I can't fucking stop it.

I can't tell myself to just be

happy, enjoying the sunshine and do things and...

But why?

I don't fucking know that! Because I'm sick!

I can't just do what normal people do...

And be okay with that.

And you should be hating me for that.

You shouldn't even want to be with me because of that.

And I don't know how you do it.

I don't know why you are still here...

I don't know how you can even stand the sight of me.

I remember being a teenager,

I started suffering from depression and shit

and I started having suicidal thoughts.

And the minute I gave up

Yeah, the conviction that I had to make something

out of myself in order to make somebody else happy

was the moment that I freed myself...

And I stopped being suicidal.

And so writing is

what actually saved me from...

Wanting to die.

You have no idea...

Writing came before you! As much as I love you!

What if you didn't exist?

Would I be...

Dead?

Because I don't have anything to hang on to.

I can't even reply to that.

Do you see yourself? Do you hear yourself?

Yes! You don't understand my dissatisfaction

And I can't understand how you cannot understand.

Just tell me what's your goal in life?

I wish I could tell you.

Isn't the goal to be happy?

I don't know how to be happy

because I can't just be happy at the snap of a finger.

I can't just be happy because I eat some fucking Nutella.

I can't just be happy because

I can't just be happy because I wake up and see you even though

you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen...

So love doesn't even make you happy?

I don't know. I feel like love is not enough.

I feel like there's something else.

What? It's an illusion, Anna!

You're creating something that doesn't even exist.

I don't know what you're talking about.

It doesn't even exist.

Everything exists and nothing exists.

Everything exists only in your brain.

- What exists and what doesn't exist? - Stop playing with words!

I am not playing with words!

What the fuck exists? I mean everything..

But right now exists! Nothing else exists!

Right now you're just messing up with your life.

When you think of something,

that fucking thing you're thinking about is existing in your brain.

And nobody can tell you it doesn't exist.

Because if it's real to you, then it's fucking real!

- And who am I? - What are you talking about?

Who am I to say that something you're feeling is not real

because you are feeling it! So it's fucking real to you!

And this is reality to me! This is my perception of reality!

That's not reality. That's making up things.

It's not making things up.

- It's what I feel! - Cause you're living in your fantasy.

- This is not reality! - Oh yes

Maybe the problem is that you're too much in your brain.

You're never here then!

You're seeing the world through

your own tortured soul and that's it.

It's not the real world!

No.

The real world is fairy tales and beautiful sunsets.

Why do you feel the urge to be so complicated?

It's not really a choice, you know?

Of course it is.

Right!

Okay

Maybe you're right. Maybe it is a choice.

Where is my cigarette?

It's like you're doing it on purpose?

You like being like this... You like being in...?

Maybe I do.

Maybe it's a thing!

It think we should start seeing other people

maybe we should start seeing other people.

What if what you thought was going to kill you

Turned out to be the most important event in your life?

Dear Anna, thank you very much for sending us your novel "Borderline".

We found the rawness and honesty in your depiction of such an intimate story

Framed by the aspiring writer's struggle to express their true creatve voice really gripping

And would love to have a meeting with you to discuss the publication of your novel.

Please let us know a convenient time and date for you to come and meet with us.

I wish you all the best with your endeavours while I eagerly await your response.

Sincerely, Mark Wilson.