Original subtitles

Oh, dark spirits!

My hands are your hands.

Spill this blood

so the blood may bleed on my hands

and make them bloody.

This guy is

obsessed with blood.

Oh, yeah, we used to live together.

It was all he ever talked about.

Wait, did you finally get your own place?

Yeah, after we sacrifice this virgin, you should come see it.

But I'm not a virgin.

It doesn't really matter.

Blood, blood, blood!

Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood...

This guy is obsessed with blood.

We all love spilling it, but I bet he's

long gone when it comes time to clean it up.

I don't know, I-I think he's very scary.

Gilius!

Smells like a swamp rat perished in your beard.

It's a regular rat.

I'm going to use its bones to pick locks.

What locks? We're outside.

Ha! Spoken like a man

who's never been to a forbidden garden.

No, that's forbidden.

Focus. We have a possible virgin to save.

What's the plan, Ax?

What if we throw Gilius into the bonfire

and then attack in the chaos?

Oh! That's what we always do.

Because you're impervious to fire.

It still burns my clothes.

And the sparks fly up and cause a distraction.

I'm getting distracted just thinking about it.

What if we sneak up behind the skeletons,

steal their unholy robes, then free the girl

and brutally massacre everyone on our way out?

Hmm. I like the part about the brutal massacre.

The wind, it's shifting.

We should kill them before they smell Gilius's stench.

They shouldn't have to suffer twice.

Tyris, they're skeletons.

They don't even have noses.

Yeah. Also, how do they see?

They have no eyes.

What holds the bones together?

-Ax. -Oh!

Remember to land in the fire.

Big sparks.

Don't touch me!

If anyone is gonna throw me, it's me.

Next time, we're doing my idea.

For Yuria!

Behold, Yuria.

Once a land of peace and prosperity,

until the evil giant, Death Adder,

used the legendary Golden Axe

to slay the gods and take power.

But, out of the darkness, three heroes emerged.

Ax Battler, Barbarian warrior.

Tyris Flare, Master of Magic.

And malodorous battle dwarf, Gilius Thunderhead.

Ah!

Together, they defeated Death Adder.

But somehow Death Adder survived.

Because, otherwise, what would they do?

There would be no bad guy.

And he used the power of the Golden Axe

to resume his conquest.

Now our heroes must face him once again on...

Now back to Gilius landing in the fire.

There's gonna be big sparks.

For Yuria!

Whoa, big sparks.

Damn, those are distracting.

Who's ready to die?

Oh, shit.

For Yuria!

Oh!

Hey, do you consider yourself

more of a pig or a skeleton?

Don't put me in a box.

I can be more than one thing.

Now you're more than one dead.

That worked, right?

Eh, not really.

Save the girl!

You may kill me,

but I will spill her blood

as Death Adder commands.

Death Adder is dead.

We saw to that.

As long as he possesses the Golden Axe,

he can never truly die.

Aw, crap. He possesses it, doesn't he?

No, please!

Stop, fiend!

Thank you.

Does anyone else smell swamp rat?

-It's a regular rat. -Gah!

We must spread word of Death Adder's return.

Gilius, where is your steed?

Oh, he probably found something dead.

Hey, Chicken Leg!

My, um, beast is ride able, if you'd like a way home.

Or to your boyfriend's house.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Oh. I actually

really like to walk.

You may ride with me.

Okay.

You're so pretty.

I know.

That was your fault.

You were staring at her.

Elsewhere in Yuria,

another hero prepares to take on Death Adder.

This carriage is so authentic.

There's dirty hay and everything.

I'm just used to riding in private coaches.

But if I'm to start my career as an adventurer,

I must be among my people.

My sleeping people, huh.

Must not be the first time they've met a young man like me

with dreams of becoming a legendary warrior.

Ow! You are awake.

If you don't stop yapping,

I'll cut out your tongue, boy.

I'm no boy, old lady.

I am a man.

Nay, a hero.

A hero known as Hampton Squib. Ow!

And so my heroic journey begins.

Whereth be citizens in need of protection?

Oh, my gods, it's them.

Watch your ale, Gilius.

At first light, we must set out

to confront Death Adder.

Ugh! Again? What's the point?

Are you suggesting we do nothing?

Do you not remember the tyranny of his rule?

What about your dead brother?

Or my dead mother?

He killed both of my parents.

All that was left of them was my mother's battle bikini.

I know it covers too much, but I wear it to honor her.

Sorry.

I can't tell the story without crying.

What I'm saying is,

we already killed Death Adder once.

What's to stop him from returning again?

This time we kill him for good.

Until he's dead, all the way.

If we're gonna do that, then we need an actual plan.

Your plan is to sneak up on Death Adder,

knock him out, steal his clothes...

No. I say we go after

the Emerald Blade.

♪ The Emerald Blade. ♪

The hell?

Gilius, the Emerald Blade's just a myth.

Did you guys not hear that, the singing?

-What if it's not? -The sky turned green.

What if the giants really did create a weapon

powerful enough to defeat the Golden Axe?

The giants have been gone for a century!

We don't have time for your fairy tales.

We're going to do what we do best:

face a series of progressively harder enemies

until we have a big final battle with Death Adder.

Great. Maybe when we get there,

you can throw me at him.

I was thinking the same thing.

-Am I a joke to you? -Your plan is.

We all have our roles, Gilius.

I'm a natural leader, full of great ideas.

Tyris is also a natural leader

with equally great ideas.

How do I fit in?

You're the tip of the spear.

Strong, reliable, deadly.

I'm more than a weapon!

You'd see that, but it's all, "Shut up and chop our enemies

with your axe, Gilius."

What else would you do with an axe?

I don't know!

You never let me find out!

I'm going after the Emerald Blade,

and you can't come.

Fine, you have three days to get this out of your system.

After that, we ride without you.

No, I ride without you.

That's right, Gilius Thunderhead

is going solo.

Who? Oh, right, Gilius Dundermed, of course!

And so, Gilius set out in search

of the Emerald Blade

with Chicken Leg, his trusty...

mutant thing as his only companion.

He faced countless challenges.

Many of which would've been made easier with the help of a team.

Like quicksand, this would've been way simpler

if he had someone to throw him a branch.

Help me, Chicken...

Now he's sleeping in a fire?

That's sad.

Oh, no, there goes the tunic.

Let's just cut to when he gets there.

Oh, hell yeah!

That looks sick.

"All who enter

"in search of the Emerald Blade

will die a thousand deaths."

This is the place!

Ha-ha!

Next time, make your door out of something stronger than skulls.

Echo!

Huh?

Die, creature of darkness!

Don't s-sneak up on a battle dwarf, you fool.

I almost chopped you.

Oh, my God.

Did you just bury your axe in the rock?

How strong are you?

Why have you been following me?

I was at the tavern and I recognized you.

You are the mighty Gilius Thunderhead.

I'm a huge fan.

You, Ax, and Tyris, I mean, you're my heroes.

Go on.

Can I ask one question about Ax?

Does he put anything in his hair to get that volume?

No, it's natural.

What do you want?

I was hoping

I could join your quest.

Go home, boyo.

I work alone.

But En-Nesryi says,

"The hero who quests alone

will die far from home."

Oh, you studied with En-Nesryi?

Yes, I majored in daggers.

Aah! Uh...

It's hard to get them to bounce like that.

You know what, you can come with me.

In fact...

why don't you go first?

Really? You won't regret this.

I'm Hampton, by the way.

Good for you.

Oh, man, my first real adventure!

Found the trap on the first try.

Have fun in the hole.

There is a large dead snake down here.

Hello?

Aah! There's a bunch of little alive ones, too.

Come on, I feel like you're not even giving this a chance.

I'm not ignoring your suggestion.

I just think it's stupid.

Why does guarding the corridor have to be boring?

We're reanimated skeletons.

We should lie on the ground, pretend to be normal,

dead skeletons, then when someone walks by,

we grab their ankles and scare the crap out of them.

That is such tiny skeleton thinking.

I'm normal-sized.

-You guys are huge. -Oh, oh, oh.

Thanks for the helmet.

Guys, give it back.

-Pretend you're dead... -Give it!

And you can have it back.

Hey!

Why don't you pick on someone my size?

What a couple of bullies.

Sorry those guys were being so tough on you.

I know what it's like to be disrespected

by your colleagues.

Like this one time, Ax and Tyris...

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop!

I was on your side!

Stupid creatures of the dark.

Must be a hidden switch.

Ha! Easy.

Ah, damn it.

Yeah, I've got this.

Ah, dragon dick!

Okay, I need to be a little bit faster.

A little bit faster.

Faster.

Got to go faster.

Ow!

Maybe slower.

Huh?

Ha-ha! I did it!

-What did I do? -Hi!

Two switches.

Hardly even a puzzle, am I right?

I told you to wait in the snake pit.

Checking for more traps?

Smart. If I've learned anything today,

it's snake ribs are nature's ladders, and...

Go back to the pit.

Mean!

It wasn't a myth.

♪ The Emerald Blade, the Emerald Blade ♪

♪ The Emerald Blade, the Emerald Blade ♪

♪ The Emerald Blade, the Emerald Blade. ♪

Ye seek the blade, true,

but ye must taste Moggabog's blood

before ye can possess it.

Almost forgot about the 1,000-year-old troll.

Moggagabog, was it?

Moggabog.

Accent on the "bog."

Ha! I'm not learning how to say that. Aah!

Taste my axe, troll.

Moggabog laughs at you.

Truly one of the most pathetic creatures

Moggabog has ever faced.

Wait, how did you get past the puzzle door?

It takes two people.

Not for me.

I work alone.

-Oh, that's sad. -No, it's not.

But you're missing the best part of being an adventurer.

The friendships you forge along the way.

That can be a small part of it,

but there's also the money.

The money?

Oh, you are so, so sad.

Uh-uh, I'm not, I'm not sad.

You're the one that's sad, down here all alone.

Not by choice.

Moggabog would love a companion.

But every time Moggabog meets someone new,

he is forced to kill them.

But you,

you choose to be alone?

Are you crying?

No! Maybe.

It's just...

Moggabog so lonely.

Gilius not sure what to say right now.

Moggabog sorry.

That was building up for a while.

Okay. Okay.

Moggabog ready to eat you now.

-You need a second? -No, no.

The devouring of your flesh will cheer me.

Okay.

Die!

♪ The Emerald Blade. ♪

Ha-ha!

Gilius! There was a boulder by one of the switches.

I slid it over and...

Did you kill a troll?

You do have a friend.

He's not my friend.

Please, let me hold it for one second?

I just want to hack some rocks or a bush or something?

The Emerald Blade isn't a toy.

Besides, I need to get back to town

before Ax and Tyris go after Death Adder.

You're gonna get back together with them?

Is it because I helped you learn the value of a good team?

Oh, they'll be the ones learning.

Learning how right I was about the Emerald Blade!

Hyah!

Gentle villagers,

fear not, for this day,

I set out to defeat Death Adder.

Along with my loyal, brave companions: Tyris Flare...

And our valued third team member,

the brave and mighty warrior.

They must've seen me riding into town.

I speak, of course, of Chronos Lait!

That's me, baby.

Huh?

Thank you, thank you.

I look forward to saving the kingdom.

And hey, keep a warm bowl of milk ready for when I get back.

Lick, lick, kitty's gonna be thirsty from kicking ass.

I leave for three days

and they replace me with Chronos Lait?

He has zero battle skills, he's just a cat man.

Sure, but he's got charisma.

Plus, he's a great dancer.

♪ Scratch, scratch, shimmy ♪

♪ Shimmy, do the Chronos. ♪

We will save Yuria!

♪ Do the Chronos. ♪

They were my best friends.

And they just decide to replace me with a dancing cat.

Panther man.

Oh, thank you for your devotion to accuracy.

♪ Do the Chronos. ♪

Whoa, looks like you're taking your friends

replacing you with a cat man pretty hard, eh?

Panther man.

You don't need those lousy ex-friends.

You've got the Emerald Blade.

Oh, yes!

The legendary Emerald Blade.

It's useless.

It's so dull, it can't cut butter.

You're still the mighty Gilius Thunderhead.

And I'm the soon-to-be mighty Hampton Squib.

Even if I were gonna go after Death Adder,

I would never go with you.

Why not?

Because you're useless.

I've seen you in a fight.

No, you haven't.

True, but I imagined it.

You'll be dead the first time we run

into any little creature of the darkness.

Leave me be.

You know what? You're a stinky, drunk asshole

with no friends, and that mutant you ride is weird.

I may be an asshole, but you're an untrained fool.

Your teacher, En-Nesryi, I met him.

He was there one time when I fought Death Adder.

He pissed his pants and passed out in fear.

True story.

No wonder your friends ditched you for a cat.

Panther man.

Help! The village is under attack!

D-D-Death Adder's minions!

Ah, shit.

This town belongs to the demon lord.

Supplicate yourselves!

-What do I do? -Get in there and fight them.

Yes, sir!

Sir?

Damn right.

Oh, my back!

You don't throw someone.

That's disrespectful.

What are you gonna do about it?

I thought he was drunk?

Oh, he's extremely drunk.

Gilius!

Huh?

♪ The Emerald Blade. ♪

That thing was dull.

Did you see that?

The Emerald Blade lit up.

What does it mean?

It means we can stab our enemies in the dark.

And you might not be totally useless on this quest.

So I'm coming, really?

The two of us taking down Death Adder?

Yes, before anyone else does.

Is it a race?

Of course it's a race.

A race to save Yuria!

Hey, when the Emerald Blade lit up,

do you think it's because it chose me?

Ha! There's no such thing as chosen ones.

If there were, they would have at least gone through puberty

and not be some little boy.

I am a man!

And so begins the final quest

against Death Adder.

Fate has not chosen who will prevail,

the armies of the damned or the drunken battle dwarf

and his anxious virgin.

Either way, Yuria will never be the same.

Gilius!

Gilius! Gilius!

The Emerald Blade has been unearthed.

It can only be wielded by the Chosen One.

Bring them to me.

Yes, my liege.

What do you think they're laughing about?

Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!

Chirp.