All language subtitles for Hogans.Heroes.S02E03.Diamonds.In.The.Rough.DVDRip.XviD-KrAcK

Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein, Fraulein.

Oh, but it's such
nice, fresh milk

right from the farm.

And nein, Fraulein.

It is verboten.

Only a few fenigs a glass.

Hey, what's going on, Schultz?

She wants to sell some milk.

No, no, no, no,
back, back, back,

back, back, back!

You know it's
against regulations.

No civilian is allowed in camp.

She's not a civilian,
Schultz, she's a girl.

They're the best kind, Schultzy.

Yeah, come on, Schultz,
forget the regulations.

Yeah, Sergeant, what
possible harm could I do?

A big strong man
like you, afraid of me?

Oh, shucks.

"Aw, shucks" from the Kraut?

I-I taught him that.

I also taught him,
"Gee whillikers."

Please?

Come on, Schultz.

All right, ten minutes.

Okay, sir, thank you.
But only ten minutes!

All right, thank you,
Schultzy. Thanks, Schultz.

I don't know
what it is, but, uh...

beautiful girls
cannot resist me.

No, no, no, Schultz, you
mean you just can't resist them.

I like it my way better.

I have some for the lot of you.

Here we go, here
we go, have some.

What are you doing?

Give that note to Colonel Hogan.

It's very important.

Why'd you put that
note in my milk for?

Shh, the guards are watching us.

Did you see that?
She put that note right...

Carter, just don't gripe.

Just give the note to Hogan.

But she put it right... Carter.

Okay.

Thanks, Fraulein, ma'am.

"At 10:00 tonight, woods,

"sector Y-14.

Meet important contact."

The signature is
Robinson Crusoe.

Hey, that's the code
name for a commando.

If she's a commando,

I like the way
this war is going.

My guess is somebody was
dropped in and got lost on a mission.

So Robinson Crusoe
used the underground

to get in touch with us?

I read Robinson
Crusoe when I was a kid.

There's a fascinating
bit of news.

I don't like it.

London usually notifies us in
advance of commando activity.

I don't like it.

Fine, then let's
forget the rendezvous.

On the other hand, it
could be on the level.

Well, let's take a vote.

I say no.

Definitely no.

No. No.

We'll make contact
10:00 tonight.

Hey, I demand a recount.

Write to your congressman.

One, two, three...

Forget it.

What's the action, Kinch?

Oh, it's all clear outside
the wire, Colonel,

right into the woods,
and Schultz is asleep.

He's sitting against a tree.

Condition normal.

Do you see any dogs?

The dogs are guarding Schultz.

All right, look,
let's play this cozy.

Give me 15 minutes'
start, then follow.

Keep the noise down. Good luck.

Thank you.

Shh.

He's sleeping.

Thank you, liebchen.

Anytime.

No, it couldn't be.

Colonel Hogan.

Myra?

You came alone?

Yeah. Where's Robinson Crusoe?

Oh, you'll meet him in due time,

but first, there are certain
precautions we must take.

You're under arrest.

Gestapo.

Some precaution.

Your gun.

My car is parked on the road.

We walk to it very
slowly and carefully.

Serves me right for
going on a blind date.

Stand still and
don't say a word.

Hey, there's the colonel.

And the bird as well.

Boy, I hope she's got
some milk with her.

I'm thirsty.

You did not come alone.

I'm a terrible liar.

Well, tell them to throw
down their weapons,

or my first shot will
be for you in your back.

Make up your mind.

Decisions, always decisions.

Ah, bonjour, mademoiselle.

Hi, there, Fraulein.
Guten Abend, my dear.

Hold it right there.

Throw down your guns.

You heard me. Throw 'em down.

I won't give up my
gun. The whole place

is crawling with
Krauts. What is that?

Throw them down,
or your milkmaid friend

is going to shoot
me in the back.

What good is half a colonel?

See, it was a trap.

Correction: is a
trap, and we're in it.

Blimey, we've been shopped.

Get rid of the guns.

Boy, what a war. You
can't trust anybody.

Okay, lady, so far, you've
been a barrel of laughs.

Now what do you want with us?

Yeah, I'm sleepy. I
want to go back to camp.

All you'll get out of us

is name, rank and serial number.

I'll promise you that.

We may not even give
you a serial number.

Good evening, gentlemen.

I'm Major Hegel,
"Robinson Crusoe."

You've done very well, my dear.

Danke.

Real chummy, ain't we?

Now, Colonel, we're going
to have a nice little talk.

The only talk you'll get is
name, rank and serial number.

You obviously know we're
prisoners in Luft Stalag 13.

Oh, I know a great
deal more than that.

For example, you're running
an underground organization.

What?

You assist allied
prisoners to escape.

You've got the wrong
information somewhere.

You also sabotaged
the German war effort.

Wrong again.

The commandant of
Stalag 13, Colonel Klink,

has no knowledge
of these activities

because he's a fool.

That's the first thing
you've gotten right.

You have radio
contact with London.

Your code name is Goldilocks.

You have a network of
tunnels under Stalag 13.

Your men make uniforms.

Sergeant Carter here is
very good with explosives.

Well, thank you, Major.

Actually, it's not so
complicated... Carter.

In addition...

you have wired
Colonel Klink's office

so you can listen
to his conversations.

You have arms, ammunition
and contact with the underground.

He's what I call a nosy-parker.

By the way, where
is your radio man,

Sergeant Kinchloe?

Is he back in the camp?

What is the expression
you Americans use...

watching the business?

Oh, you mean watching the store.

Thank you.

That's all right.

I realize some of
these American...

Carter, shut up.

Carter, will you please
button your big mouth?

Who blew the whistle?

Do you remember
Sergeant Williams,

the P.O.W. who was transferred
from Stalag 5 to your camp?

Williams. We used
him on a couple of jobs.

That's the one.

Sergeant Williams is really
Lieutenant Kroeger, Gestapo.

One of my officers.

He gave me a full
report on your activities.

Unfortunately, he's
since been transferred

to the Eastern Front...

Where he was killed in action.

He volunteered.
I insisted on it.

I find it very difficult
to warm to this person.

Now, I could shoot you
as escaping prisoners.

Or I could report the
matter to Berlin, get a medal,

then have you shot.

It's a choice.

Take all the time you
want to think it over.

Yeah, you know what they say.

"Act in haste,
repent in leisure."

Hogan, I know how important
your operation is to London.

It's also very important to me.

What's your angle?

I've been wearing this
uniform for a long time,

waiting for a chance
to make it pay...

and pay big.

What's big?

$1 million in diamonds.

Blimey, he knows
how to ask, don't he?

Where would we get a million
dollars worth of diamonds?

Same place you get
everything else you need...

From London, by air drop.

You'll be taken
back to Stalag 13.

You have one week to deliver.

All right, let's say we get you
the million dollars in diamonds.

What guarantee do we have

you won't shoot
us to keep us quiet?

My dear Colonel, you have
the best guarantee in the world.

My word of honor.

Serves me right.

Ask a silly question...

I say we do it to him
before he does it to us.

Right, knock him off.

You know, that seems logical.

Look, you just can't go around

knocking off German officers.

The ones that
are left start asking

embarrassing questions.

Colonel, it's my considered...

Colonel, I just got an
answer from London.

Well?

"Supreme Allied
Headquarters, London,

"to Colonel Robert
Hogan, Stalag 13.

"Regarding your request

for $1 million in diamonds..."

quote, "Are you nuts?" unquote.

What kind of an answer is that?

It makes sense to me.

I mean, the war is
costing a fortune as it is.

Why, the canopy on a P-51...

That's the answer I expected.

What do you mean, that's
the answer you expected?

Hegel must have stolen our code.

It's an even money bet

he'll be monitoring
our transmissions

to London to keep tabs on us.

So, now he thinks we
can't get the diamonds, huh?

Right, but it's only
the first round, Kinch.

Now I want you to use
the emergency code.

Ask London again?

Yeah, but this time
for fake diamonds.

A pile that looks like
a million bucks worth.

That kind they'll send.

Well, sure. It's much cheaper.

Very clever, you Americans.

Thanks, Newkirk.

Oh, Colonel, I think you've
got something cooking.

Right... a Nazi fink
named Hegel, I hope.

Now, Hogan, let
me understand this.

A mass escape in
return for diamonds?

That's right, sir.

Only there's a little
clause in fine print.

We make the
deal, try the escape,

they shoot us and blame you.

I don't believe it.

I didn't think you would.

How did you communicate
with this Gestapo man?

He has never been here.

I can't tell you that.

Did he communicate with you?

Can't tell you that.

Where would you get diamonds?

I can't tell you that either.

What can you tell me?

There's a shortage of
colonels at the Russian front.

Now, I'm going
to call the Gestapo

and have this
traitor arrested. Yes.

No!

No?

No. They'll cover
for their own man

and cut your head off.

It'd be much smarter

to get the evidence
on him yourself,

then turn him in.

It occurs to me

that this is a lie...
Some trick of yours.

Would you like to hear
it direct from the Kraut...

I mean the horse's mouth?

How?

Arrange for a work detail

of P.O.W.s for the
Hammelburg Road,

day after tomorrow.

You come along
as one of the guards.

I'll arrange for
Hegel to be there.

We'll talk, you listen.

Me, put on a guard's uniform?

Hegel has never seen you.

Would anybody believe

I could be just an
ordinary private?

Why not? I believe.

I just got word from
London, Colonel.

Mm-hmm. Fake
diamonds will be dropped

tomorrow night, 2200 hours.

Send Carter and LeBeau
out to pick 'em up, huh?

Right. Will do.

I gave her the message, Colonel.

Day after tomorrow,
Hammelburg Road.

Will she get the
word to Hegel in time?

I guess so.

I-I-I don't trust
that dame, Colonel.

Why? She short-changed
me for the milk.

Put it on my bill.

Colonel Hogan, is it true

that Big Shot is
going to be a private?

Yeah, just for a
few hours, Schultz.

It's an intelligence matter.

Under my command? Right, right.

Oh, it's a trick just
to get me into trouble.

No, no, Schultz,
it's on the level.

Here comes Private Klink now.

Did you explain it to him?

Now, Schultz, I
want you to treat me

as you would any private
under your command.

Understood?

Understood.

I don't want any special favors,

any special treatment, an...

You-you-you...
you are a private?

Yes, I am.

Shut up!

How dare you tell me...

Achtung!

Face front!

Put the helmet straight.

Chest out, stomach in.

Answer only when
you're spoken to.

Jawohl.

"Jawohl" what?

Jawohl, Herr Hauptmann.

That's better.

About face!

File in with the rest of
them, you Dummkopf!

Eins, zwei... The
dregs, the dregs...

Oh, it feels so good.

Achtung!

Straighten up!

Hogan, I still
would like to know

how Major Hegel
got in touch with you.

It's all done with mirrors.

Mir... Ah, the sun.

That's the mirror?

Then you give him a signal,

and he signals back.

Why don't I keep
my big mouth shut?

There's Hegel.

Get into the woods,
come up behind the car.

Herr Major, work detail
from Stalag 13 reporting,

Sergeant Hans
Schultz commanding.

At ease, Sergeant.

Where is the senior
P.O.W. officer?

I wish to talk to him.

Jawohl, Herr Major.

Colonel Hogan.

I will talk to this man alone.

Carry on, Sergeant.

Well?

Can we talk alone in the car?

All right.

Now, Hogan, what
seems to be the trouble?

Well, diamonds
don't grow on trees,

especially a
million bucks' worth.

I'm trying.

Yes, I know.

"Are you nuts?"

I don't have to ask
where you heard that.

I'll need more time.

48 hours, no more.

There's a barn on this road
two kilometers beyond the town.

Be there two nights from
tonight with the diamonds.

And if I fail?

I will come to Stalag 13
and shoot you and your men.

How would you justify that?

Oh, I'll think of something
at the last minute.

Hegel, you're a real fun person.

Whether you live or
die is entirely up to you.

And Colonel Klink.

We're still his prisoners.

You'll have to shoot him, too,

and take over the camp.

And take at least
another ten minutes.

I can see you're terribly
worried about Klink.

Hogan, let me
tell you something.

Hitler is trying to
conquer the world.

If he fails, it will
be on account

of bubble-headed fools
like your Colonel Klink.

I thought you said
you didn't know him.

By the way, Mr. Wonderful...

Yes?

We're giving you a
million in diamonds

to keep your mouth shut.

I'll send you a postcard
from Switzerland.

Fine. But if you
change your mind,

we've got as much on
you as you've got on us.

That's true.

For both our sakes,
keep that in mind.

They should have been back
two hours ago, sir, two hours.

Don't worry, they'll make it.

Oh, they'll make
it all right, sir.

I know they'll make it.

There's no doubt
about 'em making it.

It's just I should have
gone out with them, that's all.

What time did you say it was?

What time is it, Kinch?

It's 10:00.

Funny, it doesn't
seem like it's 10:00.

Oh, you took your flippin'
time about it, didn't you?

Never mind the French!
English! Speak English!

All we had to do was circle
the whole Kraut division.

If you think that
was easy, boy...

You got the stuff?

Yeah, we had to
duck two patrols...

We were worried
about you, Andrew.

Sure, you were worried about us.

We couldn't get back any faster.

We'd have gotten
here if we could...

That's what you're
getting paid for.

Then I want a raise.

Cor! Blimey.

LeBEAU: They are beautiful!

Boy, look at that.

Smashing, aren't they?

LeBEAU: Boy!

Beautiful fakes.

They could fool an expert.

Oh, magnifique!

Very nice, indeed.

Never tell they're rubbish.

Here's your raise.

Merci, mon pote.

You know, Colonel, I
had a bird once in London,

a duchess she was...

Newkirk, save it
for your memoirs.

Listen...

this is our plan
for tomorrow night.

Klink has agreed
to let us out of here.

I've sold him on the idea

of grabbing Hegel
with this stuff on him.

We go out first,

Klink follows with his
men after the delivery.

Great.

Well, what's to keep
Hegel from talking

when Klink arrests him?

If he doesn't try
any fancy footwork,

there won't be an arrest.

We let him get away
with his pound of glass.

Yeah, but suppose he
does try a double cross?

That's why we bought the policy

from the Klink
Insurance Company.

All clear in the
back of the barn, sir.

Just a guard.

All right, now, look.

When we get inside the barn,

under no circumstances
go near the door.

Understood?

Let's go.

Achtung!

All ready, Schultz?

Jawohl, Herr
Kommandant, at your order.

Good.

Now, men, tonight we are
going on a dangerous mission.

Some of us may not return,

so I want you to...

Herr Kommandant, please.

I just remembered, I have
a little personal problem.

Please, Herr Kommandant,

may I request a three-day pass?

Schultz, you are a coward!

Who is arguing?

Silence! Into the truck.

Into the truck!

So, London decided
to save you after all.

There's not a diamond
left in the British Isles.

Nice lot of merchandise
you got there, Major.

Yeah, they sparkle
just like glass.

Achtung! Achtung!

This is Colonel Klink speaking!

You're surrounded!

There is no chance to escape!

Come out with your hands up!

I give you two minutes.

Klink must have
followed us here.

Good!

He will save me the
trouble of killing you.

Look, Hegel, you
can still make it

by going out the back way.

We'll cover for you.
You got your payoff.

You and your girlfriend
can live happily ever after.

Myra? She's dead.

And did you really
think I'd let you live?

Achtung!

Inside the barn!
Your time is up!

I'm going out that door alone,

and order him to blast
this barn to pieces.

Hegel, you're making a mistake.

Go through with the deal

and you're home free.

Colonel Klink!

He has a gun! Fire!

Go on, Colonel Hogan.

Well, sir, we were being pursued

by Colonel Klink,

so we broke into this barn.

No one has ever escaped from...

You're not testifying.

He really is a bloodhound, sir.

Silence!

Continue, Colonel.

Well, we figured we had it made,

then this man walked
in and surprised us.

Major Hegel?

That's right.

He had us cold.

Then Colonel Klink arrived
with his men and opened fire,

not realizing, of course,

there was a German
officer in the barn.

And Major Hegel was the
only one who was killed?

Yes, sir. Sir, I assure
you, had I known...

Yes, sir.

Accident of war.

Hegel died a hero's death,

and we will see to it
that you and your men

are severely punished.

You will be taken to Berlin

for further questioning.

Sir, I must protest.

Colonel Hogan is my prisoner.

His crime is against the
authority of Stalag 13.

I will see to his punishment.

Very well, Klink.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler!

Hogan, you are the biggest liar

I've ever met in my whole life.

Colonel Hogan, he said
a terrible thing to you.

I know.

He called you a liar.

He really knows
how to hurt a guy.