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1
00:00:01,464 --> 00:00:04,467
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:06,302
Hey, guys, mail's in.
3
00:00:07,261 --> 00:00:08,679
All right. Let's see.
4
00:00:08,846 --> 00:00:10,139
Mr. Peterson,
5
00:00:10,848 --> 00:00:11,891
Mr. Peterson,
6
00:00:12,725 --> 00:00:14,060
Mr. Peterson...
7
00:00:15,228 --> 00:00:16,395
Occupant...
8
00:00:17,939 --> 00:00:18,981
Mr. Peterson,
9
00:00:19,565 --> 00:00:20,733
Mr. Boyd.
10
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:21,817
Oh, hey, that's me.
11
00:00:22,777 --> 00:00:24,946
Oh, yeah. I ordered this weeks ago.
12
00:00:25,488 --> 00:00:27,823
This is a whole big book
of crossword puzzles.
13
00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,242
All right, let's check them out.
14
00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:31,702
This is great because it has
all the answers in the back,
15
00:00:31,869 --> 00:00:34,330
so we don't have to worry
about all those confusing clues.
16
00:00:35,498 --> 00:00:36,874
- All rightie.
- All right.
17
00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:39,502
One across. Penguin.
18
00:00:39,669 --> 00:00:40,711
Okay.
19
00:00:43,214 --> 00:00:44,590
Hey, it fit!
20
00:00:44,757 --> 00:00:46,050
All right. Hey.
21
00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,761
These are great
once you get the hang of them.
22
00:01:36,684 --> 00:01:39,437
Hey, Miss Howe. You look nice.
What's the occasion?
23
00:01:39,937 --> 00:01:42,898
Well, I just signed up
with an executive placement agency,
24
00:01:43,065 --> 00:01:45,526
and I have all sorts of interviews
lined up this afternoon.
25
00:01:45,693 --> 00:01:47,486
I feel really great about it.
26
00:01:47,653 --> 00:01:51,032
I'm finally gonna get myself
out of this brain-dead mausoleum.
27
00:01:52,408 --> 00:01:53,826
Oh, no offense, guys.
28
00:01:58,414 --> 00:02:00,124
- Well, I'm off.
- Good luck, Miss Howe.
29
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,543
Thanks but I don't need it.
I'm wearing my lucky dress.
30
00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:03,628
I can't lose.
31
00:02:03,794 --> 00:02:06,756
Hi, Sam. I'm off to get a job.
Nothing can stop me now.
32
00:02:06,922 --> 00:02:08,591
- In that?
- Who am I fooling?
33
00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,760
They're not gonna hire
a loser like me.
34
00:02:14,055 --> 00:02:16,182
Hey, I just saw
the neatest little present
35
00:02:16,349 --> 00:02:17,308
in this kids' shop.
36
00:02:17,808 --> 00:02:18,934
Look at this.
37
00:02:19,101 --> 00:02:21,771
Does this say
little Freddy Crane or what?
38
00:02:22,355 --> 00:02:24,315
"Babe hound in training."
39
00:02:26,901 --> 00:02:27,902
Afternoon, all.
40
00:02:28,069 --> 00:02:30,655
Hey, it's Dr. Crane
and Dr. Sternin-Crane
41
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:34,492
and little Frederick
Crane-Sternin-Crane-Crane.
42
00:02:36,202 --> 00:02:37,078
What can I get you?
43
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,996
I know I could use a glass of water.
44
00:02:40,122 --> 00:02:42,291
Hey. It's my best pal.
45
00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:43,959
Well, hello to you, too, Sam.
46
00:02:44,126 --> 00:02:45,211
Oh, hey, Frase.
47
00:02:46,671 --> 00:02:47,922
Hi there.
48
00:02:48,089 --> 00:02:49,382
Gimme five.
49
00:02:49,548 --> 00:02:50,549
Pow!
50
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:53,094
So what are you guys doing here?
51
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:56,305
Someone got a little thirsty
while we were playing in the park.
52
00:02:56,972 --> 00:02:58,224
So he needs some juice?
53
00:02:58,391 --> 00:02:59,725
You said it. Scotch on the rocks.
54
00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,269
I'm joking.
55
00:03:02,937 --> 00:03:06,315
No, Sam. Just a little apple juice
and a couple of ginger ales, and...
56
00:03:12,071 --> 00:03:14,615
- We're having quality family time.
- That's right.
57
00:03:14,782 --> 00:03:17,243
I canceled every single one
of my appointments today.
58
00:03:17,410 --> 00:03:19,120
And I called in sick to the lab.
59
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,706
I placed some gauze
over the telephone
60
00:03:21,872 --> 00:03:24,709
and altered my voice
so as to appear ill.
61
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,711
And the Oscar goes to...
62
00:03:29,755 --> 00:03:30,756
Here we are, dear.
63
00:03:31,424 --> 00:03:34,802
So we decided to have
a lovely afternoon with a picnic,
64
00:03:34,969 --> 00:03:36,804
and now we're off to go fly a kite.
65
00:03:37,555 --> 00:03:38,556
I noticed it was windy, too.
66
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:40,933
I went out and got
little Frederick this kite.
67
00:03:41,475 --> 00:03:42,393
What do you think?
68
00:03:43,477 --> 00:03:46,772
I got an idea.
Why don't we go try these babies?
69
00:03:46,939 --> 00:03:48,691
I'll be right back.
I'm going to get my jacket.
70
00:03:48,858 --> 00:03:50,359
Sam is tagging along?
71
00:03:50,901 --> 00:03:52,695
We need some time to ourselves.
72
00:03:52,862 --> 00:03:54,947
Well, you know, darling, it is Sam.
73
00:03:55,573 --> 00:03:59,076
Frasier, am I going
to have to play bad cop?
74
00:04:00,411 --> 00:04:02,079
Now let me understand.
75
00:04:02,788 --> 00:04:05,040
Are you saying
that up until this point,
76
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:06,500
you've been playing good cop?
77
00:04:10,546 --> 00:04:13,549
I got an idea.
We can tie your little kite to this.
78
00:04:13,716 --> 00:04:14,967
It'll make a great tail.
79
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,852
Coming! I'm coming.
80
00:04:27,605 --> 00:04:30,566
- Oh, it's you.
- Yeah, hi. Hi, Lilith.
81
00:04:31,442 --> 00:04:33,736
Hey, look at you.
You got hair like a woman.
82
00:04:37,198 --> 00:04:38,741
I'm here to watch Huckleberry Hound.
83
00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:41,535
At 5:53 a.m.?
84
00:04:42,036 --> 00:04:43,245
Yeah. Yesterday me and Freddy
85
00:04:43,412 --> 00:04:44,914
decided we were going
to watch some cartoons.
86
00:04:45,498 --> 00:04:47,792
Who decided?
The child can barely speak.
87
00:04:47,958 --> 00:04:49,960
Well, he can nod.
Hey, Frasier.
88
00:04:50,961 --> 00:04:52,713
Hey, Freddy, we're going
to watch the cartoons.
89
00:05:00,846 --> 00:05:02,807
That wasn't Sam Malone, was it?
90
00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:06,602
Please tell me
that was an armed intruder.
91
00:05:06,769 --> 00:05:09,772
It was Sam.
Frasier, you've got to do something.
92
00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:11,899
Every day he gets here a little earlier,
93
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:13,609
and every night
he leaves a little later.
94
00:05:13,776 --> 00:05:15,653
Well, darling, he is a friend of ours.
95
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:18,197
It's getting so we can't
make love in the morning.
96
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,283
I didn't know we could
make love in the morning.
97
00:05:24,703 --> 00:05:26,872
We can't. It was just a "for instance."
98
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:31,710
The point is I don't like people
seeing me in my nightgown.
99
00:05:31,877 --> 00:05:33,754
It undermines my authority.
100
00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:36,131
I really wouldn't
worry about that, dear.
101
00:05:38,676 --> 00:05:40,511
Frasier, do something.
102
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:42,763
Well, my love, let's...
103
00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:47,810
Let's try to use some insight
into what Sam's going through.
104
00:05:49,228 --> 00:05:50,855
His affection for Frederick is...
105
00:05:51,772 --> 00:05:53,649
...is not unusual,
under the circumstances.
106
00:05:53,816 --> 00:05:57,528
After all, he's an aging playboy
who is just now coming to realize
107
00:05:57,695 --> 00:06:02,825
that he has nothing
and that he's got no progeny left
108
00:06:02,992 --> 00:06:04,618
to carry on his name.
109
00:06:04,785 --> 00:06:07,496
That is a frightening
revelation for any man.
110
00:06:08,414 --> 00:06:11,834
- Frasier, it's 5:55 in the morning.
- The heave-ho.
111
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,715
Sam, could you
come down here, please?
112
00:06:19,341 --> 00:06:21,844
Oh. Good timing. Commercial's on.
113
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:24,263
Sam, there's something
we have to ask you.
114
00:06:24,430 --> 00:06:26,557
Good. Cause there's something
we have to ask you, too.
115
00:06:26,724 --> 00:06:27,975
What's for breakfast?
116
00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:31,812
He's reacting to the nightgown.
117
00:06:34,899 --> 00:06:37,526
Sam, as much as we adore you
118
00:06:37,693 --> 00:06:40,321
and are happy that you've taken
such an interest in Frederick,
119
00:06:41,071 --> 00:06:43,866
we're just not getting
enough private time to ourselves.
120
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:47,036
Oh. Say no more. I understand.
You guys want to be alone.
121
00:06:47,202 --> 00:06:49,580
Why don't Freddy and I
go over to my apartment?
122
00:06:49,747 --> 00:06:51,040
You can catch up with us later.
123
00:06:51,206 --> 00:06:54,168
No, no, Sam. You misunderstand.
We're not saying that we want
124
00:06:54,335 --> 00:06:56,337
to be intimate
with each other right now.
125
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,172
God forbid while the sun's out.
126
00:07:02,718 --> 00:07:04,178
No. We're just saying
127
00:07:04,345 --> 00:07:06,221
that we'd like to spend
the day with our son,
128
00:07:06,388 --> 00:07:07,806
just the three of us.
129
00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:11,644
Well, shoot. You should
have told me sooner.
130
00:07:11,810 --> 00:07:13,896
I mean, I don't want
to horn in on you guys.
131
00:07:14,063 --> 00:07:15,731
Tell you what, Freddy,
we'll have to watch cartoons
132
00:07:15,898 --> 00:07:17,149
some other time, all right?
133
00:07:17,316 --> 00:07:19,360
Why don't you now
go over to your daddy?
134
00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:21,278
There we go. Go to daddy.
135
00:07:24,657 --> 00:07:25,991
Go on, Freddy. It's okay.
136
00:07:27,326 --> 00:07:28,202
Oh, fine.
137
00:07:28,369 --> 00:07:29,662
Now you see what you've done?
138
00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:31,747
My son likes you
better than he likes me.
139
00:07:32,581 --> 00:07:35,084
No. Don't be silly.
Come on, go to daddy.
140
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:36,669
You'll have fun. He loves you.
141
00:07:36,835 --> 00:07:38,337
Oh. Now you're being sarcastic.
142
00:07:40,339 --> 00:07:42,132
I'm not being sarcastic. Come on.
143
00:07:42,299 --> 00:07:43,926
Go to your daddy. Go on.
144
00:07:44,593 --> 00:07:46,887
Okay. Come on.
Go to your other daddy.
145
00:07:47,054 --> 00:07:48,806
Go to uncle Frasier.
146
00:07:50,182 --> 00:07:52,267
Sam, you have turned
my son against me.
147
00:07:52,434 --> 00:07:54,937
If you two don't mind,
I think I'll take our little wishbone
148
00:07:55,104 --> 00:07:56,730
into the kitchen for breakfast.
149
00:07:58,399 --> 00:07:59,650
Well, this is...
150
00:08:01,902 --> 00:08:02,778
Frase, I'm sorry.
151
00:08:02,945 --> 00:08:05,280
Sam, he's my son!
I made him. I get to keep him!
152
00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:09,868
Come on, Frase, calm down.
153
00:08:10,035 --> 00:08:13,205
This is my house, my child,
and my wife who thanks to you
154
00:08:13,372 --> 00:08:15,290
I don't even have time
to make love to in the morning!
155
00:08:15,457 --> 00:08:17,251
- I thought you said...
- All right, I'm raving!
156
00:08:24,049 --> 00:08:26,010
I'm sorry. It's just...
157
00:08:26,552 --> 00:08:27,469
I like your kid.
158
00:08:27,636 --> 00:08:28,846
I didn't know I liked kids before.
159
00:08:29,013 --> 00:08:31,473
If you like kids so much,
why don't you get one of your own?
160
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,559
Oh, Sam.
161
00:08:34,143 --> 00:08:35,144
Look, I'm sorry.
162
00:08:35,769 --> 00:08:36,603
You know I love you.
163
00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:38,439
I think you're one
of the greatest guys in the world.
164
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,358
It's just a little bit early
on Saturday morning
165
00:08:41,525 --> 00:08:43,318
to lose the love of your child.
166
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,614
Now, if you can just excuse me,
167
00:08:47,781 --> 00:08:51,368
I'm gonna go try to bond with my son
over a bowl of Froot Loops.
168
00:08:52,119 --> 00:08:53,871
Oh, God, I love Froot Loops.
169
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,248
Sorry. Sorry.
170
00:09:06,592 --> 00:09:08,469
Oh, hey, Miss Howe,
how was your interview?
171
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,179
Did it go any better
than the others?
172
00:09:10,345 --> 00:09:12,347
Oh, yeah. It was the usual, you know.
173
00:09:12,848 --> 00:09:13,807
I was sitting in the waiting room
174
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:16,351
and got nervous
and had a quick cigarette,
175
00:09:16,935 --> 00:09:18,395
and that was pretty much that.
176
00:09:31,408 --> 00:09:32,993
Think you could stop
throwing that thing?
177
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,411
Why? It gives me something to do.
178
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:41,668
We got to talk.
179
00:09:41,835 --> 00:09:43,712
It's ever since
I've been hanging around
180
00:09:43,879 --> 00:09:45,422
with Frasier's kid...
181
00:09:51,470 --> 00:09:54,515
Sammy, you don't expect me
to pay for this beer, do you?
182
00:09:55,516 --> 00:09:56,391
No.
183
00:09:56,558 --> 00:09:57,559
Good.
184
00:10:06,568 --> 00:10:07,694
Come on. What's wrong?
185
00:10:09,154 --> 00:10:11,698
Do you think guys have
a biological clock, you know,
186
00:10:11,865 --> 00:10:14,243
like they know
when it's time to have a kid?
187
00:10:14,409 --> 00:10:16,453
Oh, yeah. Usually when they say,
188
00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:18,413
"Hey, Carla, you want
to go out tonight?"
189
00:10:19,748 --> 00:10:21,333
Come on. What's on your mind?
190
00:10:22,626 --> 00:10:23,544
Well, I've been thinking.
191
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,171
You know, I'm not
that young anymore.
192
00:10:26,338 --> 00:10:29,383
It's not that I'm old.
It's just that I'm not young.
193
00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:31,760
I'm not old old. I'm just youngish.
194
00:10:31,927 --> 00:10:33,470
I'm... I'm a youngish man.
195
00:10:34,638 --> 00:10:35,848
Please go on.
196
00:10:37,307 --> 00:10:38,433
Well, I'm thinking about...
197
00:10:39,309 --> 00:10:40,894
I'm thinking about being a dad.
198
00:10:41,603 --> 00:10:42,563
What?
199
00:10:43,355 --> 00:10:44,565
Yeah.
200
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,525
I've been playing around all my life,
201
00:10:46,692 --> 00:10:48,819
and, I don't know,
maybe I'm missing something.
202
00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:51,196
Have you thought
about getting a dog?
203
00:10:52,281 --> 00:10:53,198
I don't want a dog.
204
00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:58,120
I want someone to be with,
to take care of, to watch grow.
205
00:10:58,287 --> 00:10:59,997
Have you thought
about getting a plant?
206
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,126
You don't think
I'll be a good father?
207
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:05,586
Oh, no.
208
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,546
No. I think you'd be a great father.
209
00:11:08,547 --> 00:11:10,048
So you have a mother picked out?
210
00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:12,467
No. Not really.
211
00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:16,388
Does that mean...
You're not going to ask me?
212
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,850
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't think about that.
213
00:11:20,017 --> 00:11:20,893
Yeah. Would you?
214
00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:22,352
What are you, nuts?
215
00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:27,149
You think I'm gonna
go through labor an eighth time
216
00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:29,151
because you're a little lonely?
217
00:11:30,319 --> 00:11:31,778
Selfish bastard.
218
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:38,368
You know, it doesn't matter.
What the heck. I know a hundred women.
219
00:11:38,535 --> 00:11:41,747
What am I talking about?
I know thousands of women.
220
00:11:41,914 --> 00:11:45,167
What am I talking about?
I know tens of thousands of women.
221
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:46,752
What am I talking about...
222
00:11:46,919 --> 00:11:51,381
Sammy, now, just think
about this for a minute.
223
00:11:51,548 --> 00:11:53,967
Do you really, really want this?
224
00:11:54,134 --> 00:11:56,595
Yeah. I really, really want this.
225
00:11:57,763 --> 00:11:58,764
Come on, Sam.
226
00:11:58,931 --> 00:12:01,725
Do you have any idea
what it means to have a kid?
227
00:12:03,268 --> 00:12:06,563
It's changing dirty diapers
and getting spit-up stains
228
00:12:06,730 --> 00:12:08,774
on the shoulders
of your best clothes.
229
00:12:09,483 --> 00:12:11,109
Ear infections
in the middle of the night
230
00:12:11,276 --> 00:12:13,904
and shoving antibiotics
down their throats
231
00:12:14,071 --> 00:12:17,199
and worrying about them
every day and every night
232
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:18,867
for the rest of your life.
233
00:12:19,576 --> 00:12:21,119
How does that sound?
234
00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:23,247
Sounds cool.
235
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,752
Yeah. It is, kind of.
236
00:12:32,589 --> 00:12:35,300
Would they, like,
really spit up on leather?
237
00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:38,845
Oh, they know fabrics.
238
00:12:48,188 --> 00:12:49,856
So who's going to be the mom, Sam?
239
00:12:50,732 --> 00:12:52,067
I haven't figured that out yet, Woody,
240
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:54,778
but she's got to be
somewhere in here...
241
00:12:55,362 --> 00:12:56,822
Or here...
242
00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:05,831
What about Miss Howe?
She's getting up there like you.
243
00:13:07,207 --> 00:13:09,209
She's probably about
ready to have a kid.
244
00:13:09,376 --> 00:13:10,752
She's very responsible.
245
00:13:10,919 --> 00:13:12,879
I think that was
my best interview yet.
246
00:13:13,046 --> 00:13:14,589
I think they really
were impressed with me
247
00:13:14,756 --> 00:13:17,426
until I accidentally knocked
the CEO into the fax machine
248
00:13:17,592 --> 00:13:19,553
and sent a copy
of his butt to Wichita.
249
00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:24,433
See, Sam? You could
have asked her just now.
250
00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:27,936
Wait a minute. Here you go.
251
00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,521
Now, this could work out.
252
00:13:30,063 --> 00:13:31,106
What am I doing?
What am I going to say?
253
00:13:31,273 --> 00:13:33,233
I have to figure out
how to word this.
254
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,401
Hold on a second.
255
00:13:35,444 --> 00:13:36,862
Excuse me. Miss?
256
00:13:37,738 --> 00:13:39,406
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
257
00:13:39,573 --> 00:13:41,241
Just hypothetically, now,
258
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:43,327
say someone you've been
dating a couple times
259
00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:45,078
calls you up and says,
260
00:13:45,245 --> 00:13:48,915
"Hey, we had some laughs together.
What say we have a baby?"
261
00:13:49,082 --> 00:13:50,459
I'm not talking commitment here.
262
00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:52,961
Don't misunderstand me.
Maybe yes, maybe no.
263
00:13:53,128 --> 00:13:58,091
Picture is, get pregnant,
have the baby, give it to me, go away.
264
00:14:01,636 --> 00:14:03,764
You know, just offhand,
how would you react to that?
265
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,016
How would I react
if a guy called me up
266
00:14:06,183 --> 00:14:08,310
and asked me
to be a breeder for him?
267
00:14:08,894 --> 00:14:11,772
To be sort of an incubator for his seed?
268
00:14:12,397 --> 00:14:15,192
Yeah. Exactly.
But wait a second. Let me...
269
00:14:16,151 --> 00:14:18,487
Let me get a pencil.
I want to write this down.
270
00:14:18,653 --> 00:14:19,613
Okay.
271
00:14:24,659 --> 00:14:25,994
Okay. "Incubator"...
272
00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:30,624
"Breeder"...
273
00:14:32,334 --> 00:14:33,794
Red flag words.
274
00:14:36,463 --> 00:14:39,049
You know, if it's a boy,
275
00:14:39,216 --> 00:14:41,968
I just hope he names it
Clifford Clavin Malone.
276
00:14:44,096 --> 00:14:46,390
I don't care what he names it
as long as he doesn't bring it in here.
277
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:48,767
If there's one thing
I can't stand it's babies.
278
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:50,602
Come on, Mr. Krapitz.
279
00:14:50,769 --> 00:14:53,730
Wouldn't you like a helpless
little guy, all soft and cuddly,
280
00:14:53,897 --> 00:14:56,149
who you could burp
every once in a while?
281
00:14:58,693 --> 00:15:00,195
Yeah, we need
another one of those.
282
00:15:05,742 --> 00:15:06,618
Sam.
283
00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:10,080
Listen, Sam, I...
284
00:15:10,872 --> 00:15:12,874
I'd like to apologize
about this morning
285
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:14,334
when I kicked you out.
286
00:15:15,293 --> 00:15:16,336
I...
287
00:15:17,087 --> 00:15:18,380
I forgot how much
Freddy means to you
288
00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:20,090
and how much you mean to him.
289
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:23,760
I also forgot that Lilith
and I have two tickets
290
00:15:23,927 --> 00:15:25,887
to Jerome Robbins' Broadway tonight,
a hundred bucks a throw.
291
00:15:26,054 --> 00:15:27,347
If you think I'm gonna
miss that, you're nuts.
292
00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:29,349
Have fun, Freddy. Daddy loves you.
293
00:15:35,355 --> 00:15:36,606
You want me to lock up, Sam?
294
00:15:36,773 --> 00:15:39,734
No, thanks.
I got to wait for Frasier and Lilith.
295
00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:41,361
- Good night.
- Good night.
296
00:15:43,363 --> 00:15:44,489
Hey, little buddy.
297
00:15:45,699 --> 00:15:46,616
So...
298
00:15:47,409 --> 00:15:49,453
What do you want
to watch here, Frederick?
299
00:15:51,538 --> 00:15:54,082
- The congress and the administration...
- 24-hour news.
300
00:15:54,249 --> 00:15:56,293
The city council both turned down...
301
00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:57,836
Headline news.
302
00:15:58,545 --> 00:15:59,838
Local news.
303
00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:02,757
Aw, hey. Elvis.
304
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,344
Night and you
305
00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:11,641
And blue Hawaii
306
00:16:16,771 --> 00:16:17,814
Hey, Sam.
307
00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:19,691
- What?
- Sam.
308
00:16:21,026 --> 00:16:21,902
Who's there?
309
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:24,279
No, up here, Sam. It's me, Elvis.
310
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:29,618
Elvis?
311
00:16:29,784 --> 00:16:31,995
Yeah, come on over here, man.
I don't want to have to shout at you.
312
00:16:35,582 --> 00:16:37,250
I'm having a dream about Elvis.
313
00:16:41,004 --> 00:16:42,589
What do you want with me, Elvis?
314
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:49,179
I want to tell you something.
You're right about wanting a child.
315
00:16:49,346 --> 00:16:50,680
The best thing
that ever happened to me
316
00:16:50,847 --> 00:16:52,098
was having Lisa Marie.
317
00:16:52,599 --> 00:16:54,267
Here. Isn't she precious?
318
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,146
Yeah. And she's a real cutie.
319
00:16:58,897 --> 00:17:01,983
You'd be happy to know, Elvis,
she turned out to be a real babe.
320
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:04,277
Sam, don't make me
come through this TV.
321
00:17:07,656 --> 00:17:08,823
I'm sorry.
322
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:11,243
This baby's going
to need a mama, Sam.
323
00:17:11,409 --> 00:17:15,789
Yeah, I know that, Elvis,
but I can't think of anybody.
324
00:17:15,956 --> 00:17:17,874
I just think you're
overlooking someone.
325
00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:20,335
- Who?
- Miss Rebecca Howe.
326
00:17:21,795 --> 00:17:23,797
- Rebecca?
- Miss Rebecca.
327
00:17:26,591 --> 00:17:28,426
She's been a true friend,
328
00:17:28,593 --> 00:17:30,845
and you've been
through so much together.
329
00:17:31,012 --> 00:17:33,723
There's a lot of love in her heart.
She has no one to give it to.
330
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,309
And she's a handsome woman.
331
00:17:36,977 --> 00:17:38,395
Miss Rebecca? Really?
332
00:17:39,813 --> 00:17:41,648
Think about it, Sam.
I know I'm right.
333
00:17:43,108 --> 00:17:44,234
Now if you'll just excuse me,
334
00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:45,986
I got to go back and
frolic on a beach
335
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,487
or jump in a stock car race
or something.
336
00:17:47,654 --> 00:17:49,281
I don't know what they got me
doing in this one.
337
00:17:51,074 --> 00:17:52,617
Later, Sam.
338
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:00,917
Isn't this sweet?
339
00:18:01,585 --> 00:18:03,795
My son and his baby-sitter
passed out in a bar.
340
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:10,885
No. It's okay.
341
00:18:11,052 --> 00:18:12,137
Sam.
342
00:18:14,472 --> 00:18:16,641
I've got him, Sam. Thanks.
343
00:18:16,808 --> 00:18:17,726
Yeah.
344
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,648
Say, Frasier.
345
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,485
The weirdest thing
just happened to me.
346
00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,280
I could have sworn
347
00:18:30,447 --> 00:18:34,159
I just had a conversation
with Elvis Presley.
348
00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:37,662
Well, Sam, I've had
four or five patients
349
00:18:37,829 --> 00:18:39,205
that have had the same experience.
350
00:18:39,372 --> 00:18:42,292
I'll simply tell you
what I told them.
351
00:18:43,043 --> 00:18:44,169
The man is dead.
352
00:18:59,392 --> 00:19:01,603
- Hi, Sam.
- Hi.
353
00:19:02,270 --> 00:19:03,647
What are you doing back here?
354
00:19:03,813 --> 00:19:05,357
It's my night to lock up.
355
00:19:06,608 --> 00:19:08,943
Besides, it looks like
I'll still be working here anyway.
356
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:11,112
Nobody else wants me.
357
00:19:11,696 --> 00:19:12,739
I'm sorry to hear that.
358
00:19:12,906 --> 00:19:16,618
Yeah, well, maybe I've been barking up
the wrong tree my whole life...
359
00:19:17,452 --> 00:19:18,662
All these big dreams
360
00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:22,540
about being a big
corporate executive,
361
00:19:22,707 --> 00:19:24,292
having a lot of power,
362
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:26,753
a lot of control.
363
00:19:27,629 --> 00:19:29,923
I don't know why I've been
knocking my brains out.
364
00:19:31,132 --> 00:19:33,885
Maybe I should have settled
for some dumb, ordinary jerk
365
00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:35,512
and raised a family.
366
00:19:46,022 --> 00:19:46,981
What?
367
00:19:47,816 --> 00:19:48,858
It's just...
368
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:51,778
You know, I've been thinking
the same thing,
369
00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:55,448
only, you know, I was thinking
that you should have a child
370
00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:57,492
with someone who was good-looking
371
00:19:57,659 --> 00:19:59,369
and really cool.
372
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,872
Yeah, well, I don't know
anybody like that.
373
00:20:04,791 --> 00:20:05,834
What about me?
374
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,210
Why? You know somebody like that?
375
00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:10,380
No. You know, I...
376
00:20:10,547 --> 00:20:12,173
What I mean is,
I was thinking that...
377
00:20:12,966 --> 00:20:15,427
...you and I should have
a baby together.
378
00:20:17,971 --> 00:20:20,014
Oh, come on, Sam.
379
00:20:20,181 --> 00:20:22,475
No. Why? Why not? Think about it.
380
00:20:22,642 --> 00:20:25,437
You and I are good friends.
Hell, you're my best friend,
381
00:20:25,603 --> 00:20:27,564
and we've been
through a lot together.
382
00:20:27,731 --> 00:20:31,776
You have a lot of love to give,
and you're a handsome woman.
383
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,533
Well, I'm flattered.
384
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,953
I'm not ready
to have a baby, Sam.
385
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,789
I got a lot of things left to do in life.
386
00:20:44,956 --> 00:20:45,957
Yeah? Like what?
387
00:20:46,124 --> 00:20:48,126
- Like a lot.
- All right, name one.
388
00:20:48,293 --> 00:20:51,337
Well, I'd always planned
on growing old
389
00:20:51,504 --> 00:20:52,964
and, you know, dying alone.
390
00:20:54,716 --> 00:20:56,301
You can still do that.
391
00:20:56,468 --> 00:20:58,178
You don't just, you know...
392
00:20:58,928 --> 00:21:01,222
...go out and have a baby
with somebody.
393
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:04,517
- Why not?
- I don't know why not.
394
00:21:04,684 --> 00:21:06,978
- Then why not?
- Why with you?
395
00:21:07,604 --> 00:21:09,189
- Why not?
- We...
396
00:21:13,193 --> 00:21:14,110
Why not?
397
00:21:15,111 --> 00:21:17,322
- I mean, we could.
- Yeah.
398
00:21:17,489 --> 00:21:21,701
Your mom did it. My mom did.
Carla does it all the time.
399
00:21:24,913 --> 00:21:27,040
I mean, I... why shouldn't we?
400
00:21:27,957 --> 00:21:31,920
Maybe this would be something
that I'd finally be good at.
401
00:21:33,254 --> 00:21:35,340
So, will you?
402
00:21:36,925 --> 00:21:38,218
Okay.
403
00:21:41,095 --> 00:21:42,055
Let's have a baby.
404
00:21:52,273 --> 00:21:53,274
I think this is gonna change
405
00:21:53,441 --> 00:21:54,818
- my whole life.
- Oh, yeah.
406
00:21:55,902 --> 00:22:00,114
I think no more Rebecca the jerk,
no more Rebecca the goonball,
407
00:22:00,281 --> 00:22:01,741
Rebecca the loser.
408
00:22:02,408 --> 00:22:03,743
Rebecca the mother.
409
00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:06,621
I'm going to have
a brand-new human baby.
410
00:22:08,373 --> 00:22:11,084
I get to feed her,
and I get to hold her.
411
00:22:11,918 --> 00:22:13,545
I can't wait!
412
00:22:14,254 --> 00:22:15,839
You know, a new life,
413
00:22:16,005 --> 00:22:19,425
a new life that depends
completely on me.
414
00:22:28,476 --> 00:22:30,520
Can you believe it?
I forgot my coat.
415
00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:33,857
I guess I'm just
so excited about this.
416
00:22:34,023 --> 00:22:36,818
I don't know.
I'm going to be a mommy!
417
00:22:40,613 --> 00:22:41,906
A mommy!
418
00:22:46,327 --> 00:22:47,912
You'd better be right, Elvis.
30921
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