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1
00:00:01,839 --> 00:00:04,509
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,593 --> 00:00:07,678
Hey, guys, guess
what followed me home.
3
00:00:07,845 --> 00:00:09,055
A slime trail?
4
00:00:10,806 --> 00:00:12,433
This cute little fellow right here.
5
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,645
Isn't he sweet?
6
00:00:15,811 --> 00:00:17,855
The cutest little dog
you ever seen, huh?
7
00:00:19,232 --> 00:00:20,441
What you going to do with him?
8
00:00:20,608 --> 00:00:22,527
I thought we'd just
keep him in the bar here,
9
00:00:22,693 --> 00:00:24,362
you know, like a bar mascot.
10
00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:27,365
Guys, I kind of thought
I was the bar mascot.
11
00:00:29,951 --> 00:00:31,369
I don't think so, Cliffie.
12
00:00:32,912 --> 00:00:35,498
Yeah, all right. Come on, Spotty.
13
00:00:36,082 --> 00:00:37,083
Bye-bye, Spotty.
14
00:00:41,045 --> 00:00:42,964
Oh, how cute!
15
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:46,384
Hi, little fellow.
16
00:00:46,551 --> 00:00:49,095
Oh! What's his name?
17
00:00:49,262 --> 00:00:51,639
Well, this is... this is Spotty.
18
00:00:53,516 --> 00:00:54,559
Isn't he cute?
19
00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:57,687
Yeah, well, he's kind of like
the bar mascot.
20
00:00:57,853 --> 00:01:00,690
He and I were about
to take a bath.
21
00:01:00,856 --> 00:01:02,066
Would you like to join us?
22
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:20,144
Mr. Clavin, if you're looking
for a home for the dog there,
23
00:02:20,311 --> 00:02:21,812
I'd be happy to take him.
24
00:02:21,979 --> 00:02:26,233
No, Woody. See, Spotty here
is a thoroughbred pup.
25
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,070
He needs a lot of attention,
a lot of care, he needs a lot of space.
26
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,613
I'll give you five bucks for him.
27
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:31,697
Here you go.
28
00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:36,535
Hello. Any messages?
29
00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:39,372
Oh, yeah. One of your old
baseball buddies called.
30
00:02:39,538 --> 00:02:40,873
Dutch Kincaid.
31
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,792
I'll be damned.
Wonder what he wants.
32
00:02:42,958 --> 00:02:44,418
Probably another home run.
33
00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:47,922
I think you served him up
something like 27 in his career.
34
00:02:49,173 --> 00:02:50,716
What did that work out for you?
35
00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:51,801
Oh, yeah.
36
00:02:51,967 --> 00:02:53,511
One for every time he faced you.
37
00:02:56,514 --> 00:02:58,474
- That was a long time ago.
- Yeah.
38
00:02:58,641 --> 00:02:59,600
Poor guy is probably down and out
39
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:01,268
and wants to borrow
a few bucks from me.
40
00:03:01,435 --> 00:03:02,937
No. He wants you to show up
41
00:03:03,104 --> 00:03:05,523
for Dutch Kincaid Day
at Yankee Stadium.
42
00:03:05,690 --> 00:03:08,401
They're having a Dutch Kincaid Day
at Yankee Stadium?
43
00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:10,695
They're bringing him back
for one more time at bat
44
00:03:10,861 --> 00:03:13,572
before the game,
and he wants you to pitch to him.
45
00:03:13,739 --> 00:03:14,949
Smart guy, that Dutch.
46
00:03:18,411 --> 00:03:20,788
He's got to be kidding.
Why the hell should I want to help him?
47
00:03:20,955 --> 00:03:22,623
I'm going to get on a plane
and fly down to New York
48
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,417
just to give him
some free publicity?
49
00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:27,586
What are you worried about?
You afraid he's gonna pop one out
50
00:03:27,753 --> 00:03:29,839
and you'll have to see
the old Dutch Windmill again?
51
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,508
What is the Dutch Windmill?
52
00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:34,093
Every time Dutch hit a homer,
53
00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:36,470
he used to do this little dance
while he ran around the bases.
54
00:03:36,637 --> 00:03:38,097
It was kind of his trademark.
55
00:03:38,264 --> 00:03:40,349
If memory serves,
it was something like this...
56
00:03:40,933 --> 00:03:43,060
Arms pumping and running
like a windmill,
57
00:03:43,227 --> 00:03:44,812
then wiggle his fanny back and forth.
58
00:03:44,979 --> 00:03:46,355
No, no, no.
59
00:03:46,522 --> 00:03:49,233
- It was more like this.
- No, Norm, less jiggle.
60
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,484
I haven't started dancing yet.
61
00:03:54,113 --> 00:03:55,614
Hey, this is fun.
62
00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:58,784
Did you have a trademark, Sam?
63
00:03:58,951 --> 00:04:00,661
Shut up and leave me alone.
64
00:04:00,828 --> 00:04:02,788
Actually, Sam,
that's more of a motto.
65
00:04:08,043 --> 00:04:10,171
Come on, man.
Don't let him lick your...
66
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,215
Don't let him lick
your lips like that.
67
00:04:13,382 --> 00:04:14,467
No, it's okay, Norm.
68
00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:16,552
It's an interesting fact
that that dog's mouth
69
00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:19,054
is probably cleaner
than anybody's in this bar.
70
00:04:19,221 --> 00:04:20,514
There's a shock.
71
00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:24,727
Fras, how about you, you want
to play with the puppy?
72
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,146
I don't know.
73
00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:30,483
My mother never allowed me
to have a puppy when I was a boy.
74
00:04:31,275 --> 00:04:34,945
Consequently, she instilled in me
a slight fear of animals.
75
00:04:36,113 --> 00:04:38,365
Well, it's about time
you got over that.
76
00:04:38,908 --> 00:04:39,950
Come on, now, Spotty.
77
00:04:40,117 --> 00:04:41,994
I want you to say hello
to your Uncle Frasier.
78
00:04:45,039 --> 00:04:47,875
Well... hello, Spotty.
79
00:04:50,836 --> 00:04:53,380
Norm, I think Spotty
wants to go away now.
80
00:04:53,547 --> 00:04:55,174
No, he feels pretty comfortable
there, doesn't he?
81
00:04:55,341 --> 00:04:58,219
Did I mention to you
that Spotty wants to buy you a beer?
82
00:04:59,136 --> 00:05:00,304
Good boy, Spotty.
83
00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:05,726
- Can I help you?
- Yeah, I'm looking
84
00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:08,687
for a yellow-bellied,
runny-nosed has-been.
85
00:05:10,314 --> 00:05:12,525
Can't make one of those.
I'm out of cassis.
86
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:19,281
Hello, Dutch.
87
00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:20,783
Mayday.
88
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,576
What are you doing here?
89
00:05:22,743 --> 00:05:25,246
I hear you're too chicken
to pitch to me, Fluffy.
90
00:05:26,038 --> 00:05:28,916
What's the matter,
afraid I'll make you look bad again?
91
00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:30,876
I'm not afraid of anything,
92
00:05:31,043 --> 00:05:32,503
and I don't have
anything to prove either.
93
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:35,464
Malone, if word gets out
that you're pitching to me again,
94
00:05:35,631 --> 00:05:37,842
might give the guy
the kind of publicity
95
00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:39,844
that would put him back
in the public eye,
96
00:05:40,469 --> 00:05:42,054
maybe even in the Hall of Fame.
97
00:05:43,347 --> 00:05:44,557
Oh, get out.
98
00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:46,475
I could never get
into the Hall of Fame.
99
00:05:46,642 --> 00:05:48,686
Not you, you pantywaist.
100
00:05:51,105 --> 00:05:53,274
It's Dutch Kincaid Day,
not Sam Malone Day.
101
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,608
Man, what an ego.
102
00:05:58,654 --> 00:06:00,614
Find yourself another sucker, will you?
103
00:06:00,781 --> 00:06:03,367
Okay. You got a men's room in here?
104
00:06:03,534 --> 00:06:05,995
Oh! What am I asking you for?
105
00:06:08,205 --> 00:06:10,332
- It's in the back.
- Yeah, thanks.
106
00:06:10,499 --> 00:06:13,460
Oh, I gave my neighbor's kid
107
00:06:13,627 --> 00:06:17,339
a Sam Malone baseball card
to stick in the spokes of his bike.
108
00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:21,051
Now when he rides it, it goes,
"Wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp."
109
00:06:24,013 --> 00:06:26,473
Come on, Sammy, let's go.
Be great to see you pitch again.
110
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,267
No way. I told him no,
and I meant it.
111
00:06:28,434 --> 00:06:30,227
Come on, the guy's a jerk.
112
00:06:30,394 --> 00:06:33,105
You got to nail him,
knock him down a few pegs.
113
00:06:33,272 --> 00:06:34,231
No, no, no.
114
00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:38,694
Oh, no. You're afraid
he's still going to be able hit you.
115
00:06:38,861 --> 00:06:41,739
Oh, you kidding me?
That guy's a washed up old has-been.
116
00:06:41,906 --> 00:06:43,032
I mean, he hasn't played for years.
117
00:06:43,198 --> 00:06:45,993
I could strike him out
with one hand tied behind my back.
118
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,203
Worth a try, Sammy.
The other way never worked.
119
00:06:51,206 --> 00:06:53,751
That was then.
Now I got the edge on him.
120
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,461
I'm young. I'm in good shape.
121
00:06:55,628 --> 00:06:56,795
Ow! Shoot.
122
00:06:58,339 --> 00:07:00,215
I got to remember
to warm up before I do that.
123
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:07,431
Why don't you just go out there
and humiliate him for a change?
124
00:07:07,598 --> 00:07:09,516
Yeah. Yeah. Come on, Sammy.
125
00:07:09,683 --> 00:07:12,144
Listen to yourself, will you?
Have some class.
126
00:07:12,311 --> 00:07:13,312
The guy's an old man.
127
00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:15,940
Good for you, Sam.
I'm impressed by your stance.
128
00:07:16,106 --> 00:07:17,733
- It shows real maturity.
- Yeah.
129
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,902
Well, it's gonna take
a lot more than a stupid insult
130
00:07:20,069 --> 00:07:22,029
to get me to go
all the way to New York.
131
00:07:22,196 --> 00:07:24,865
I'll see you later... underpants.
132
00:07:25,032 --> 00:07:28,535
That does it!
All right, I'll see you Saturday.
133
00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:30,704
- Yankee Stadium.
- That's the spirit.
134
00:07:30,871 --> 00:07:33,165
Listen, don't worry
about getting into the stadium.
135
00:07:33,332 --> 00:07:35,042
Saturday is Ladies' Day.
136
00:09:01,170 --> 00:09:04,339
That'll teach you to pinch
a lady's butt in a locker room.
137
00:09:05,424 --> 00:09:07,301
- Guys giving you trouble?
- No.
138
00:09:07,468 --> 00:09:10,262
I was teaching them how to pinch
a lady's butt in a locker room.
139
00:09:11,722 --> 00:09:13,140
Ah, look at this. Look.
140
00:09:15,434 --> 00:09:17,895
I'm focused. I'm psyched. I'm sober.
141
00:09:19,354 --> 00:09:20,981
Dutch doesn't stand a chance.
142
00:09:21,148 --> 00:09:22,066
Yeah.
143
00:09:25,319 --> 00:09:26,820
Only one thing missing, huh?
144
00:09:27,446 --> 00:09:28,655
I know, Sammy.
145
00:09:28,822 --> 00:09:30,657
Yeah. I wish Coach were here.
146
00:09:31,408 --> 00:09:32,326
He is.
147
00:09:33,202 --> 00:09:34,828
Attention, ladies and gentlemen...
148
00:09:37,498 --> 00:09:38,665
Call me sentimental,
149
00:09:38,832 --> 00:09:40,834
but doesn't this bring back
the old days?
150
00:09:41,001 --> 00:09:41,877
Yeah.
151
00:09:42,628 --> 00:09:47,758
I want you to get out there, Sammy,
grind him into a raw, meaty pulp,
152
00:09:47,925 --> 00:09:51,303
spread him on home plate,
and slide into his guts!
153
00:09:52,805 --> 00:09:54,306
I got to get a Kleenex.
154
00:09:58,227 --> 00:09:59,186
Hey, Sam Malone.
155
00:09:59,353 --> 00:10:01,396
- Yeah.
- Cap Richards.
156
00:10:01,563 --> 00:10:04,483
I'm Dutch's personal manager.
I cooked up this whole thing.
157
00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:07,736
Glad I got a chance to talk to you.
Here's how it's going to work.
158
00:10:07,903 --> 00:10:09,863
Throw the first two pitches
however you want.
159
00:10:10,030 --> 00:10:12,950
The third one, though, just float it
across home plate nice and easy.
160
00:10:13,117 --> 00:10:14,785
- What?
- I thought the home run
161
00:10:14,952 --> 00:10:16,829
would be more dramatic
on the third pitch.
162
00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:19,790
If you want it on the first pitch,
like you used to, go ahead.
163
00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,962
You got to be kidding.
Sam Malone does not take a dive.
164
00:10:25,129 --> 00:10:27,047
I came down here
to strike this guy out,
165
00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:28,132
and that's what I'm going to do.
166
00:10:28,298 --> 00:10:30,092
If he wants to get a hit,
he's gonna have to earn it.
167
00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:32,469
This is not good.
168
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:38,642
You ready, Sammy?
169
00:10:39,643 --> 00:10:40,561
Yeah.
170
00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:43,313
I can strike this guy out, can't I?
171
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,773
Of course you can.
172
00:10:45,607 --> 00:10:49,319
Listen, this is your chance
to make up for the old days.
173
00:10:49,486 --> 00:10:51,697
It's the last thing anyone's
ever going to remember
174
00:10:51,864 --> 00:10:55,659
about Sammy "Mayday" Malone,
that he struck out Dutch Kincaid.
175
00:10:55,826 --> 00:10:58,495
Now go on out there
and smoke three fast ones
176
00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:01,165
past that lousy,
flat-headed bastard.
177
00:11:02,791 --> 00:11:04,168
I got to get another Kleenex.
178
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:15,637
Yeah?
179
00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:18,682
Excuse me. Are you Sam Malone?
180
00:11:18,849 --> 00:11:21,435
Yeah. Yeah. What's your name?
181
00:11:21,602 --> 00:11:23,395
- Billy Kincaid.
- How do you do, Billy?
182
00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:28,400
You wouldn't be a relation
to Dutch Kincaid, would you?
183
00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:29,693
He's my grandpa.
184
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,570
I've heard all his neat stories about
185
00:11:31,737 --> 00:11:34,323
how you used to help him
with those long home runs.
186
00:11:34,489 --> 00:11:36,325
I never got to see one, though.
187
00:11:36,491 --> 00:11:38,202
I sure hope I can see one today.
188
00:11:40,704 --> 00:11:42,122
I may have to disappoint you there.
189
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:47,878
This is the last time Grandpa's
ever going to play.
190
00:11:48,045 --> 00:11:49,713
It's today or never.
191
00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:53,759
Go away, will you? Go on.
192
00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:59,890
My two brothers and my baby sister
are all watching at home.
193
00:12:00,057 --> 00:12:02,226
None of us ever saw him
hit a home run.
194
00:12:03,644 --> 00:12:05,145
Give me a break, will you?
195
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:11,193
Grandpa told us he wants to hit
a ball so hard It'll go up to heaven
196
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,029
so Grandma can say hello.
197
00:12:20,619 --> 00:12:21,703
Now pitching...
198
00:12:22,204 --> 00:12:23,497
...Sam Malone.
199
00:12:24,957 --> 00:12:26,250
Hey, Sammy!
200
00:12:27,584 --> 00:12:29,253
Yeah, all right...
201
00:12:32,881 --> 00:12:34,841
- Hey, how did it go?
- Great.
202
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:38,220
Need me to scalp any tickets?
203
00:12:38,387 --> 00:12:40,138
No. You done enough for today.
Thanks, Vinnie.
204
00:12:50,983 --> 00:12:52,985
Hey, you guys
aren't supposed to be in here.
205
00:12:53,151 --> 00:12:54,820
That's all right.
We're with Sam Malone.
206
00:12:56,071 --> 00:12:57,406
We're his personal trainers.
207
00:13:00,784 --> 00:13:02,286
So you're okay down here?
208
00:13:04,037 --> 00:13:05,956
We know our way
around a dugout, pally.
209
00:13:06,999 --> 00:13:08,125
Look out, Cliffie. Incoming.
210
00:13:11,128 --> 00:13:14,715
Boy, that ball girl's
really got an arm, huh?
211
00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:16,967
Here you go, toots.
212
00:13:18,176 --> 00:13:20,387
- Aw, Norm.
- What?
213
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,141
The barbecue sauce got
all over the nachos.
214
00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:43,035
Hey, guys, I miss anything?
215
00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:46,038
Sammy hasn't started yet.
Where you been?
216
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:47,748
I've been visiting the other team.
217
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,125
Ran into somebody I used
to get hot and sweaty with.
218
00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:52,336
- Who's that?
- The other team.
219
00:13:54,463 --> 00:13:57,674
And now, stepping to the plate
to face Sam Malone,
220
00:13:57,841 --> 00:13:59,926
the man we all
turned out today to honor...
221
00:14:00,594 --> 00:14:01,720
...Dutch Kincaid.
222
00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:14,733
Guys, come on. The first pitch.
223
00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:18,111
Hey, Sammy, come on.
224
00:14:18,278 --> 00:14:19,446
Come on, Sammy.
225
00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:21,698
- Oh, yeah!
- Strike one!
226
00:14:21,865 --> 00:14:23,283
Go, Sammy!
227
00:14:24,076 --> 00:14:25,202
All right, Sammy.
228
00:14:25,702 --> 00:14:26,828
Look at him up there.
229
00:14:26,995 --> 00:14:29,247
Doesn't he look
cool on the mound?
230
00:14:29,414 --> 00:14:30,540
I got goose bumps.
231
00:14:30,707 --> 00:14:31,708
Alright, here comes the stretch.
232
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:33,835
Ram it down his throat, Sammy!
233
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:35,379
Come on!
234
00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:36,922
Strike two!
235
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:38,298
Yeah! Yeah!
236
00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:44,429
Bring on the heat, Sammy!
He can't hit what he can't see.
237
00:14:46,681 --> 00:14:48,058
Apparently he saw that one.
238
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:52,354
Look at that ball go!
It may clear the center field fence.
239
00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:54,940
It's going, going... it's out of here!
240
00:15:06,535 --> 00:15:07,744
Poor Sammy.
241
00:15:08,745 --> 00:15:10,539
Boy, he must feel lousy, huh?
242
00:15:11,123 --> 00:15:13,333
He's really going to need our support.
243
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,168
We'll just have to be
really nice to him.
244
00:15:16,336 --> 00:15:17,671
We could sneak out of here.
245
00:15:17,838 --> 00:15:19,673
I know a shortcut
through the showers.
246
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:20,924
Better yet.
247
00:15:22,384 --> 00:15:23,760
Too late. He's seen us.
248
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:29,015
Okay, I know what you're thinking,
but I can explain it.
249
00:15:29,808 --> 00:15:31,268
I know it looked like a home run.
250
00:15:31,435 --> 00:15:33,895
Our first clue was when the ball
actually left the stadium.
251
00:15:36,148 --> 00:15:38,984
Yeah, but it doesn't count
because I did it on purpose.
252
00:15:39,151 --> 00:15:41,319
- Right.
- Oh, sure, Sam.
253
00:15:41,486 --> 00:15:43,488
You let him get a home run
off you on purpose.
254
00:15:43,655 --> 00:15:46,366
No. I did it for Kincaid's grandkid.
255
00:15:46,533 --> 00:15:49,244
He wanted to see
his grandfather hit a home run.
256
00:15:49,411 --> 00:15:50,745
Hell, he can explain it.
257
00:15:51,246 --> 00:15:52,789
Billy. Yo! Hey, Billy.
258
00:15:54,791 --> 00:15:57,836
Oh, right, Sam.
Whatever you say.
259
00:15:58,003 --> 00:15:59,045
We believe you.
260
00:15:59,212 --> 00:16:00,213
Why are you using that voice?
261
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:01,673
That's your
"I don't believe you" voice.
262
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,593
No, it's not, Sam.
I do believe you.
263
00:16:06,094 --> 00:16:07,345
Then why are you still talking...
264
00:16:07,512 --> 00:16:09,306
Billy will tell you everything.
265
00:16:09,473 --> 00:16:13,059
- Billy! Come on, Billy.
- Sam. Sam. Let's go home.
266
00:16:13,226 --> 00:16:17,647
We get to go on an airplane ride,
and maybe when we're up there
267
00:16:17,814 --> 00:16:20,650
we'll get to see
that pitch you served Dutch.
268
00:16:21,943 --> 00:16:23,778
I'm telling you, I did it on purpose.
269
00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:25,655
I swear to God, there was this kid.
270
00:16:25,822 --> 00:16:28,617
Hey, come on, Billy!
This isn't funny.
271
00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:36,708
78, 79...
272
00:16:40,462 --> 00:16:41,713
You keep moving around, Spotty,
273
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,840
I'm not gonna be able
to get an accurate count.
274
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,843
One, two...
275
00:16:49,554 --> 00:16:53,350
Woody, I guess you've given up
on finding his owner.
276
00:16:54,017 --> 00:16:56,186
Why don't you want me
to have this dog?
277
00:16:57,187 --> 00:16:58,980
It's not that I don't want you
to have the dog.
278
00:16:59,147 --> 00:17:02,526
It's just that I have this thing
about being completely honest
279
00:17:02,692 --> 00:17:04,319
when it comes to lost pets.
280
00:17:06,029 --> 00:17:07,614
Okay, when I was ten years old,
281
00:17:07,781 --> 00:17:10,450
I had this beautiful
Persian cat named Princess.
282
00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:13,453
She only loved me. She didn't like
anybody else in my family.
283
00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:15,580
One day I woke up,
Princess was gone.
284
00:17:16,373 --> 00:17:19,543
My mom and dad said she got out
through the bedroom window.
285
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:23,046
The weird thing is,
I could have sworn
286
00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:25,215
that bedroom window
was painted shut.
287
00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:27,842
It's bothered me for years.
288
00:17:28,009 --> 00:17:30,804
Then, as you matured,
you came to accept the fact
289
00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:34,224
that it was your parents
who in fact got rid of the cat.
290
00:17:36,476 --> 00:17:37,894
What?
291
00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:47,862
My Princess?
292
00:17:49,114 --> 00:17:51,491
They took my Princess?
293
00:17:55,579 --> 00:17:58,540
Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth.
294
00:17:58,707 --> 00:18:00,000
Why don't I just
go down to the park
295
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,127
and tell the little kids
about Santa Claus.
296
00:18:03,378 --> 00:18:04,879
What about Santa?
297
00:18:13,346 --> 00:18:15,557
But we do believe you, Sam.
298
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:17,684
You know, I'm getting
tired of that voice.
299
00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:22,230
I don't care what you guys think.
In my heart I know I did this
300
00:18:22,397 --> 00:18:25,066
for a little boy
and his dead grandmother.
301
00:18:27,027 --> 00:18:29,362
Oh, guys, look.
302
00:18:29,988 --> 00:18:32,157
Spotty fell asleep on my shoe.
303
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,701
He's so sweet.
304
00:18:35,452 --> 00:18:37,120
I just wish I was wearing sandals
305
00:18:37,287 --> 00:18:39,664
so I could feel
his little puppy breath.
306
00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:46,046
Hi, gentlemen,
what can I get you?
307
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,922
Just coffee. We're on duty.
308
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:51,384
What's the matter?
309
00:18:51,551 --> 00:18:55,513
Two weeks ago, our dog ran away.
Cutest little puppy you ever saw.
310
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,057
Just about so big.
311
00:18:58,058 --> 00:18:59,976
Today, Chief made us
give up our search.
312
00:19:06,399 --> 00:19:09,861
Woody, I think
they're talking about Spotty.
313
00:19:10,487 --> 00:19:11,529
You want to say something?
314
00:19:11,696 --> 00:19:13,531
No. Make them go away.
315
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:19,454
Come on, Woody.
It's obvious it's their dog.
316
00:19:19,621 --> 00:19:22,082
Give me a break.
A Dalmatian, the fire department.
317
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:23,917
It's a different dog, ratfink.
318
00:19:25,794 --> 00:19:27,754
Just cause you lost
your stupid cat.
319
00:19:30,423 --> 00:19:31,925
Remember when he was born?
320
00:19:32,884 --> 00:19:34,219
We each took hour-long shifts
321
00:19:34,386 --> 00:19:36,012
feeding him warm milk
through an eyedropper.
322
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,556
Remember how he used
to fall asleep on my shoe?
323
00:19:38,723 --> 00:19:41,685
I can still feel his warm
little puppy breath.
324
00:19:47,607 --> 00:19:48,817
What is it?
325
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:53,071
Nothing. Go away.
Isn't there a fire somewhere?
326
00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:56,700
Oh, the heck with it.
327
00:19:58,118 --> 00:20:00,745
I didn't want him anyway.
He's all covered with spots.
328
00:20:00,912 --> 00:20:02,789
Hey!
329
00:20:02,956 --> 00:20:04,999
Take him. I didn't know
he was yours. Honest.
330
00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:08,294
Thanks, kid. Looks like
you took good care of him.
331
00:20:08,461 --> 00:20:10,964
We had a reward posted. 100 bucks.
332
00:20:11,131 --> 00:20:14,968
I don't care about the money.
I just want what's best for Spotty.
333
00:20:15,135 --> 00:20:17,137
Gee, I'm sorry, kid.
334
00:20:19,055 --> 00:20:22,642
Well, a ride on a real
fire engine might help.
335
00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:25,937
We can't let you do that.
336
00:20:26,104 --> 00:20:28,356
I miss him so much.
337
00:20:29,399 --> 00:20:31,067
All right, come on,
but don't tell anybody.
338
00:20:31,234 --> 00:20:32,193
Yeah!
339
00:20:33,361 --> 00:20:37,240
- Hey, can I run the siren?
- No. That would be illegal.
340
00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:40,285
Oh, it's just Spotty meant
everything to me.
341
00:20:40,452 --> 00:20:42,704
All right, you can turn on the siren.
342
00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:45,790
- Can I wear your hat?
- It's part of the uniform.
343
00:20:45,957 --> 00:20:47,083
Well, can I drive?
344
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:48,835
Please? Please? Please?
345
00:20:49,002 --> 00:20:50,712
Take the dog. Take the dog.
346
00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:56,342
We snowed them, dude.
347
00:21:05,101 --> 00:21:07,729
Where's little Miss Malone?
In the office?
348
00:21:07,896 --> 00:21:09,647
Haven't you humiliated him enough?
349
00:21:09,814 --> 00:21:12,108
Not as much as he humiliated me.
350
00:21:12,817 --> 00:21:15,612
Hey, Malone,
pull on your panty hose
351
00:21:15,779 --> 00:21:18,615
and get out here.
We got a score to settle.
352
00:21:18,782 --> 00:21:20,909
Come on, Dutch,
you had your home run.
353
00:21:21,075 --> 00:21:22,577
Why don't we just
leave it at that?
354
00:21:22,744 --> 00:21:24,162
I'm not gonna leave it at that.
355
00:21:24,329 --> 00:21:27,207
You deliberately
threw me a cream puff.
356
00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,792
I don't need your charity pitches.
357
00:21:28,958 --> 00:21:31,795
I didn't do it for you.
I did it for your grandkid.
358
00:21:31,961 --> 00:21:33,588
I don't have any grandkid.
359
00:21:33,755 --> 00:21:35,340
What do you mean
you don't have a grandkid?
360
00:21:35,507 --> 00:21:39,761
My personal manager and his kid
are always pulling that scam.
361
00:21:39,928 --> 00:21:41,846
That's how I got
Dutch Kincaid Day.
362
00:21:44,307 --> 00:21:45,475
This was a setup?
363
00:21:45,642 --> 00:21:47,727
I had a chance finally
to strike you out
364
00:21:47,894 --> 00:21:50,146
in front of a stadium full of people
and I had to let it go
365
00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:51,981
for a stupid, lousy setup?
366
00:21:52,148 --> 00:21:53,983
You never had a chance, Malone.
367
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:56,194
I can hit anything
you can serve up.
368
00:21:56,361 --> 00:21:57,695
Oh, come on, give me a break.
369
00:21:57,862 --> 00:21:59,489
My first two pitches
went right by you.
370
00:22:00,073 --> 00:22:02,826
I let them go by for the drama.
371
00:22:02,992 --> 00:22:03,952
Drama?
372
00:22:05,328 --> 00:22:06,746
You let them go by
for the drama?
373
00:22:06,913 --> 00:22:09,332
You want drama,
I'll give you drama.
374
00:22:09,499 --> 00:22:11,543
Come with me. You! You!
Come on, right now.
375
00:22:11,709 --> 00:22:14,337
All right. There's still
plenty of daylight out there.
376
00:22:14,504 --> 00:22:15,421
Let's do it!
377
00:22:15,588 --> 00:22:18,716
I'll be back
in about three pitches, fellas.
378
00:22:18,883 --> 00:22:22,262
Two grown men settling a rivalry
by throwing a little white ball
379
00:22:22,428 --> 00:22:24,973
at a wooden stick. How pathetic.
380
00:22:25,807 --> 00:22:28,893
Now, boxing, that's a man's sport.
381
00:22:29,561 --> 00:22:31,563
Punch a guy in the face
and scramble his brains.
382
00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:32,939
That proves something.
383
00:22:33,815 --> 00:22:35,567
Fras, you're coming around, buddy.
384
00:22:36,234 --> 00:22:37,277
Thank you.
385
00:22:40,864 --> 00:22:43,700
Hey, shut up, you guys.
Sammy's pitching.
386
00:22:45,243 --> 00:22:47,996
Oh, my God.
There are two moons in the sky.
387
00:22:48,872 --> 00:22:50,957
All right, lucky hit. Let's go again.
388
00:22:53,084 --> 00:22:55,712
Gee, he almost hit a helicopter.
389
00:23:00,675 --> 00:23:03,928
Okay, 226 lucky hits.
390
00:23:06,014 --> 00:23:08,057
Hang in there, Sammy. He's old.
391
00:23:08,224 --> 00:23:09,642
He can't live forever.
29546
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