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I saw on the news today,
2
00:00:03,084 --> 00:00:06,423
talking about the violence
in foreign countries.
3
00:00:07,804 --> 00:00:10,739
talking about all the savagery
up in the world,
4
00:00:10,942 --> 00:00:14,668
but they ain't never
talk about South Central.
5
00:00:16,144 --> 00:00:19,499
Ain't never talk about
what happened to my brother.
6
00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:22,681
Now he's gone.
7
00:00:22,715 --> 00:00:25,077
Now I ain't got no brother.
8
00:00:26,283 --> 00:00:29,350
Yo, dog.
9
00:00:31,486 --> 00:00:34,220
I'll be your brother.
10
00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:35,455
Really?
11
00:00:36,016 --> 00:00:38,034
Absolutely, dog.
12
00:00:38,925 --> 00:00:41,059
You're gonna need somebody
to lean on.
13
00:00:41,093 --> 00:00:43,027
You can't just be
walking around here
14
00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:44,662
with this emptiness
in your heart, man.
15
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:48,998
An emptiness that can only
be filled by a brother.
16
00:00:50,499 --> 00:00:52,232
Okay.
17
00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:56,101
- Brothers, man?
- Brothers!
18
00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:58,069
- Get it in here, dog.
- Come over here.
19
00:00:58,103 --> 00:00:59,303
You got to get it in there,
dog.
20
00:00:59,338 --> 00:01:00,671
I got to tuck it, man.
21
00:01:00,705 --> 00:01:02,072
Tuck it, tuck it, tuck it.
22
00:01:02,106 --> 00:01:03,506
Brothers, man.
23
00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:04,741
Come here, man.
24
00:01:04,775 --> 00:01:06,776
Why the [bleep] you keep
following me around, man?
25
00:01:06,811 --> 00:01:09,045
Why don't you go home
and stay out of my room?
26
00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:10,346
Don't mess with my models.
27
00:01:10,380 --> 00:01:11,380
I'm about to get a wedgie up
28
00:01:11,414 --> 00:01:12,414
in this mother[bleep]
right here.
29
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:13,715
What the-- Hey!
30
00:01:13,749 --> 00:01:14,748
Hey! Get the [bleep]
off me, man.
31
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,583
Give me the wedgie-- Hey.
32
00:01:16,617 --> 00:01:18,617
Hey.
33
00:01:18,651 --> 00:01:21,176
You don't give a grown man
a wedgie.
34
00:01:22,553 --> 00:01:25,254
Mother[bleep],
I'm 34 years old.
35
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,456
I got grandchildren.
36
00:01:50,672 --> 00:01:53,006
Hey!
37
00:01:56,176 --> 00:01:58,176
Thank you!
38
00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:02,746
Thank you.
39
00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:05,065
- I am Keegan-Michael Key.
- I'm Jordan Peele.
40
00:02:05,099 --> 00:02:06,165
And we are Key and Peele.
41
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,633
- Thank you for coming out.
- Yeah.
42
00:02:10,636 --> 00:02:12,837
You ever have a friend
that just
43
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:16,073
uses the wrong slang
for the situation?
44
00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:17,173
Like, I know this dude
45
00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,575
who would just say things
way too harsh...
46
00:02:19,609 --> 00:02:21,943
- Mm-hmm.
- for making love...
47
00:02:21,977 --> 00:02:23,810
- Oof, yeah.
- Hooking up with a girl.
48
00:02:23,845 --> 00:02:25,111
Were you
with Tiffany last night?
49
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,345
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
50
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,847
You know that half-Ethiopian,
half-Chinese girl?
51
00:02:28,881 --> 00:02:30,114
Yeah. Yeah.
I know.
52
00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,849
Oh, yeah.
How could I forget?
53
00:02:31,883 --> 00:02:33,550
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
54
00:02:33,585 --> 00:02:35,920
Man, crushed it.
55
00:02:35,954 --> 00:02:38,288
Smashed it, smoshed it.
Crushed it.
56
00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:43,158
Krishity-krishity-krishity-
krishity-krishna crushed it.
57
00:02:43,193 --> 00:02:44,826
There was that other girl
last week.
58
00:02:44,861 --> 00:02:47,395
- Yeah.
- Half-Paraguay, half-Uruguay?
59
00:02:47,429 --> 00:02:48,662
- I see. Yup.
60
00:02:49,697 --> 00:02:50,696
Yup. Yup.
61
00:02:50,731 --> 00:02:51,830
- Priz-nushed it.
62
00:02:51,865 --> 00:02:53,631
- Okay. Okay.
63
00:02:53,666 --> 00:02:55,366
Are both of those ladies okay?
64
00:02:55,401 --> 00:02:57,368
- Yup, both those ladies.
- Okay.
65
00:02:57,402 --> 00:03:01,203
- Other girl, half-Russian,
half-Prussian.
66
00:03:04,039 --> 00:03:05,906
I was crushin'
the Russian-Prussian.
67
00:03:10,511 --> 00:03:11,510
Whoa.
68
00:03:11,545 --> 00:03:13,112
Man, I felt sorry
for that dude,
69
00:03:13,146 --> 00:03:14,213
But, you know,
what you gonna do?
70
00:03:14,247 --> 00:03:16,114
I had to lay
that [bleep] down.
71
00:03:16,148 --> 00:03:17,547
You know I did, dog.
72
00:03:17,581 --> 00:03:20,082
What?
That [bleep] lay you down.
73
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,983
Hey, brother, I don't know
what fight you was at.
74
00:03:22,017 --> 00:03:23,651
That [bleep] got
a couple licks in, sure.
75
00:03:23,685 --> 00:03:25,719
But pfft, I was like, bip!
76
00:03:27,188 --> 00:03:29,488
Man, I put the pussy
on the chain wax.
77
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,758
- Put the pussy on the--
- the chain wax.
78
00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:37,393
I put the pussy
on the chain wax.
79
00:03:37,428 --> 00:03:39,729
I put the pussy
on the chain wax.
80
00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:42,203
- Pussy on the chain wax?
- Hmm?
81
00:03:43,566 --> 00:03:45,165
Is that a thing?
82
00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:48,001
Well, yeah. That-- Yeah.
83
00:03:48,035 --> 00:03:49,235
That's a-- That's a thing.
84
00:03:49,269 --> 00:03:51,236
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's something.
85
00:03:51,271 --> 00:03:53,304
Okay.
86
00:03:53,339 --> 00:03:54,739
Yeah, I put the pussy
on the chain wax.
87
00:03:54,773 --> 00:03:56,339
Pussy on the chain wax!
88
00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:59,075
I said I put the pussy
on the chain wax!
89
00:03:59,109 --> 00:04:00,776
He put the pussy
on the chain wax.
90
00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:03,078
- Pussy on the chain wax.
- Pussy on the chain wax.
91
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,678
Uh, pussy coming in.
92
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:05,912
- This is the chain wax.
- Hold up.
93
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,646
Hold up.
94
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,222
I just, um, googled
"Pussy on the chain wax."
95
00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,382
No results.
96
00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:15,318
Man, um,
why are you googling?
97
00:04:15,352 --> 00:04:16,385
No, I'm just saying.
98
00:04:16,487 --> 00:04:19,788
"Pussy on the chain wax,"
It's not an expression.
99
00:04:19,822 --> 00:04:21,322
Ye-- Yeah it is.
100
00:04:21,357 --> 00:04:22,456
- Yeah, it is.
- Yes, thank you.
101
00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:23,724
- It's something, Leo.
- Yeah.
102
00:04:23,758 --> 00:04:25,592
What it-- What it--
What does it mean then?
103
00:04:25,626 --> 00:04:27,193
What does it mean?
104
00:04:28,096 --> 00:04:29,594
- I'll tell you what it means.
- Do it, do it.
105
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,347
It means that...
106
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,142
is that you put the...
107
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:39,168
pussy on the chain wax!
108
00:04:40,637 --> 00:04:41,903
Nope, nope.
109
00:04:41,938 --> 00:04:43,004
Pussy on the chain wax!
110
00:04:43,038 --> 00:04:44,405
It's not-- Don't--
111
00:04:44,439 --> 00:04:45,739
- Pussy on the chain wax!
- Pussy on the chain wax.
112
00:04:45,773 --> 00:04:47,673
Acting like y'all know
what it is--
113
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,374
Okay, have either
of the two of you--
114
00:04:49,409 --> 00:04:51,976
have you ever said the words
115
00:04:52,011 --> 00:04:54,446
"Pussy on the chain wax"
in any context?
116
00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,681
- Pfft, us?
- Pfft.
117
00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,383
- He-- He talking to you.
- Man--
118
00:04:58,417 --> 00:04:59,684
He ain't talking to me.
119
00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:01,553
Hey, man.
120
00:05:01,587 --> 00:05:03,321
It's not our fault
that you ain't never put the...
121
00:05:03,355 --> 00:05:05,656
pussy on the chain wax!
122
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:06,790
Pussy on the chain wax!
123
00:05:06,825 --> 00:05:10,094
No one can put the pussy
on the chain wax
124
00:05:10,128 --> 00:05:13,097
'cause pussy on the chain wax
ain't a thing!
125
00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,499
You trying to start a thing,
aren't you?
126
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:18,269
Wha-- Me--
127
00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:21,639
I mean, what are you talking
about, trying to start a thing?
128
00:05:21,673 --> 00:05:24,175
A thing,
like "Off the hook"
129
00:05:24,209 --> 00:05:25,643
or "I'ma put you on blast."
130
00:05:25,677 --> 00:05:27,277
You trying to get it
in the ether,
131
00:05:27,312 --> 00:05:30,113
so everybody out there saying
"Pussy on the chain wax."
132
00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:31,614
Man, why are you
doing this?
133
00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:33,282
Why you looking up
[bleep] I'm saying and--
134
00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:35,184
and fact-checking my ass
and [bleep]?
135
00:05:35,219 --> 00:05:38,721
You keep saying some [bleep]
that doesn't exist,
136
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,122
and you got thing one
and thing two
137
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:42,257
corroborating your story
like it does,
138
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,192
and then--
why you lying then?
139
00:05:44,226 --> 00:05:46,494
It's bull[bleep]!
140
00:05:49,263 --> 00:05:52,265
Bodie...
141
00:05:55,234 --> 00:06:00,038
Why do you care so much
142
00:06:00,072 --> 00:06:05,843
whether I made up
"pussy on the chain wax" or not?
143
00:06:09,414 --> 00:06:12,116
I lost my job.
144
00:06:14,119 --> 00:06:16,753
My girl left me.
145
00:06:18,722 --> 00:06:22,957
And all I w--
All I wanted to do
146
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:28,327
was have a little bit of fun
with my friends today.
147
00:06:28,362 --> 00:06:29,662
So why-- why do you ha--
148
00:06:29,696 --> 00:06:32,230
why do you have to belittle me
like that?
149
00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:38,068
- It's just that I--
- Yeah?
150
00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:40,337
I'm just trying to say--
151
00:06:40,372 --> 00:06:44,274
What you trying to say,
[bleep]?
152
00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:46,743
I'm trying to say
153
00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:50,180
that I want
to put the pussy...
154
00:06:50,214 --> 00:06:53,516
on the chain wax!
155
00:06:55,185 --> 00:06:56,886
He did it, yo.
He put the...
156
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,388
- pussy on the chain wax!
- Yeah!
157
00:07:08,047 --> 00:07:09,147
So, uh, yeah.
158
00:07:09,181 --> 00:07:11,115
I got, like,
30-something followers.
159
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:13,451
I'm up to, like,
15 tweets a day.
160
00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:17,689
So if you wanted to, um,
follow-- all right.
161
00:07:17,723 --> 00:07:21,192
No, no, no, no!
162
00:07:21,226 --> 00:07:23,394
- What?
- They hating on the Hathaways.
163
00:07:23,428 --> 00:07:25,996
They hating on the Hathaways?
164
00:07:26,031 --> 00:07:29,500
They straight hating
on Annie Hathaways.
165
00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:31,535
- That's your girl, dog!
- I know that's my girl, dog.
166
00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:33,308
Annie Hathaways
from Devil Wears Pradas?
167
00:07:33,342 --> 00:07:34,271
They hating on her.
168
00:07:34,493 --> 00:07:35,963
- Nicholas Nicklebys?
- Straight hating!
169
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,965
- Les Misérables?
- Les Misérables!
170
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,333
♪ I dreamed a dreams,
and dreams get dreamed ♪
171
00:07:39,368 --> 00:07:40,735
- Oh, man.
- No, what?
172
00:07:40,769 --> 00:07:41,936
Why you be hating on that?
173
00:07:41,970 --> 00:07:43,504
How do you be hating
on the Hathaways?
174
00:07:43,538 --> 00:07:45,139
I do not know!
175
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,740
- 'cause that's your girl, dog!
- That's my girl with the--
176
00:07:46,775 --> 00:07:47,908
I've been rolling
with the Hathaways
177
00:07:47,942 --> 00:07:49,310
Since Princess Diaries!
178
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,345
Shh.
179
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,448
You was there since day one!
180
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:56,983
Man, you know I be loving me
some Princess Diaries 2:
181
00:07:57,017 --> 00:07:58,051
The Royal Engagement!
182
00:07:58,085 --> 00:07:59,352
You got the Blu-ray!
183
00:07:59,386 --> 00:08:01,321
And I got that on DVD
and LaserDisc and VHS, man.
184
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,089
- Pfft.
- Rachel Getting Married though.
185
00:08:03,123 --> 00:08:04,324
- What? Uh-uh.
- Mm-mm.
186
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,458
- Uh-uh. uh-uh.
- Rachel Getting Married.
187
00:08:05,493 --> 00:08:06,559
Rachel Getting Married,
though?
188
00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:07,561
Rachel Getting Married,
though.
189
00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:08,828
Yo, do you love
Anne Hathaways?
190
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:09,996
- I do!
- Come on.
191
00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,000
- Hathaways!
- Come on, man.
192
00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:15,969
- And the Oscar goes to...
- Annie Hathaways.
193
00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:17,370
- Crackhead killed her brother!
- That's right.
194
00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:18,972
- Come on.
- Broken Back.
195
00:08:19,006 --> 00:08:20,307
- Okay, Broken Backs.
Broken Backs.
196
00:08:20,341 --> 00:08:21,341
Talking about
Broken Back Mountain.
197
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,475
That's right.
Broken Backs, dog!
198
00:08:22,510 --> 00:08:23,576
I'm married
to Jake Jiggling-halls.
199
00:08:23,611 --> 00:08:24,911
- Uh, Giggling-thalls?
- Thank you.
200
00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:26,212
I stand corrected.
So wait. You know what?
201
00:08:26,247 --> 00:08:27,247
I didn't like that one.
202
00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:28,281
That was not
my [bleep], though.
203
00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:29,416
Broken Backs
was not my [bleep].
204
00:08:29,450 --> 00:08:30,550
- But she was good in that.
- She was good.
205
00:08:30,585 --> 00:08:31,952
Oh, play that confident
Texas businesswoman.
206
00:08:31,986 --> 00:08:33,353
Talk about straight up,
"You know what?
207
00:08:33,387 --> 00:08:34,788
"I'm struggling
with my husband's sexuality."
208
00:08:34,822 --> 00:08:36,323
She kept her integrity
at the same time
209
00:08:36,357 --> 00:08:38,091
- as showing her breasteses.
- That's a delicate balance.
210
00:08:38,125 --> 00:08:39,459
That's a delicate balance.
211
00:08:39,493 --> 00:08:40,794
Why was you hating
on the Hathaways?
212
00:08:40,828 --> 00:08:42,662
But why would you be hating
on the Hathaways?
213
00:08:42,697 --> 00:08:44,030
Confident woman in Hollywood
214
00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,898
whose sole character flaw
is that she cares too much!
215
00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:47,333
She cares too much!
216
00:08:47,368 --> 00:08:49,035
- It's that she cares too much!
- Yeah, she care too much!
217
00:08:49,069 --> 00:08:50,704
- Come on!
- Come on!
218
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,205
You know
who they never be hating on?
219
00:08:52,239 --> 00:08:54,024
- Who's that, dog?
- Sandra Bullocksies.
220
00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:55,909
- Sandra Bullocksies.
- She's my girl,
221
00:08:55,943 --> 00:08:57,210
and they never be hating
on her.
222
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,411
That's your girl right there.
Straight up there.
223
00:08:58,446 --> 00:08:59,779
Sandra Bullocksies
your girl right there.
224
00:08:59,814 --> 00:09:01,048
Straight up.
225
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,549
Do you know who should
do a movie together, though?
226
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,151
But who is that, dog?
227
00:09:04,185 --> 00:09:06,953
Bullocksies and Hathaways!
228
00:09:06,988 --> 00:09:08,588
You talking
about some Hathaway
229
00:09:08,623 --> 00:09:09,956
- and some Bullocksies?
- No!
230
00:09:09,991 --> 00:09:11,391
I'm talking
about some Bullocksies
231
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,960
and some Hathaways!
232
00:09:12,994 --> 00:09:14,428
Let me just explain
what I'm talking about, though.
233
00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:18,399
I'm talking about some Hathaways
and some Bullocksies.
234
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:19,467
No, you right.
235
00:09:19,501 --> 00:09:21,602
Bullocksies.
Hathaways.
236
00:09:21,637 --> 00:09:27,141
That would be my [bleep]!
237
00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:31,880
Oh.
238
00:09:31,914 --> 00:09:33,648
- Oh, you good?
- Yeah, I-I'm good.
239
00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:34,816
I thought something
Was gonna...
240
00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:36,284
- Me too. so--
- happen for a second there.
241
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:38,887
Figured we would transform
in some way,
242
00:09:38,921 --> 00:09:41,689
shape, or form.
Okay.
243
00:09:41,723 --> 00:09:44,625
That would be my [bleep]!
244
00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:49,797
That would be my [bleep]!
245
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,573
Who's the most dignified
black person in the world?
246
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:00,308
Sidney Poitier.
247
00:10:00,342 --> 00:10:01,308
- Sidney.
- Sidney Poitier.
248
00:10:01,343 --> 00:10:02,610
Yeah. See? See?
249
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,912
All I did was say his name,
and you start to clap.
250
00:10:04,946 --> 00:10:06,280
He is.
251
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,315
He's the most graceful,
dignified man in the world.
252
00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:09,683
- Is who?
- Sidney Poitier.
253
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:10,851
Okay.
Gotta give it up.
254
00:10:10,885 --> 00:10:12,920
Gotta give it up.
255
00:10:12,954 --> 00:10:14,121
You know who's on his way,
though?
256
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,957
- Morgan Freeman's on his way.
- Mm-hmm.
257
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,626
He's on, like, second-tiered
super dignity status.
258
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,761
(imitates Freeman)
"Morgan Freeman.
259
00:10:19,795 --> 00:10:21,362
"He's a frisky
little mother[bleep]."
260
00:10:23,065 --> 00:10:24,733
Well, you see Morgan Freeman
in public.
261
00:10:24,767 --> 00:10:26,968
He's got, like,
a leather jacket and jeans.
262
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,436
Yeah.
263
00:10:30,205 --> 00:10:31,639
(imitates Freeman)
"I still got it."
264
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,609
"Still got it."
265
00:10:37,546 --> 00:10:39,080
Hello, everyone.
266
00:10:39,115 --> 00:10:41,683
I'm Joseph Carmichael.
267
00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:47,689
Otis is-- was my father.
268
00:10:47,723 --> 00:10:51,092
But we are not here today
to mourn his death,
269
00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:53,261
but to celebrate his life.
270
00:10:53,296 --> 00:10:56,999
We knew Otis as a teacher,
a community leader,
271
00:10:57,033 --> 00:11:00,669
a role model, a husband,
and a father.
272
00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:02,671
Now, I thought
it would be nice
273
00:11:02,706 --> 00:11:06,075
to share something about him
y'all may not have known.
274
00:11:06,109 --> 00:11:07,710
When my father was younger,
275
00:11:07,744 --> 00:11:09,612
he was an actor
in Hollywood.
276
00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:11,881
Going through my dad's things,
277
00:11:11,915 --> 00:11:15,027
I found this reel of his work
as an actor.
278
00:11:15,786 --> 00:11:17,353
I haven't seen it yet,
279
00:11:17,387 --> 00:11:19,956
but I thought
it would be fun to watch,
280
00:11:19,990 --> 00:11:22,494
here with all of you today.
281
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,432
Thank you.
282
00:11:38,142 --> 00:11:40,788
Where are my pies?
283
00:11:41,913 --> 00:11:46,183
Ribbles, where are the pies
I put on my windowsill?
284
00:11:47,419 --> 00:11:51,010
Why, I don't know,
Mrs. Caruthers.
285
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,368
Why would anyone
want to steal
286
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:56,038
one of your delicious
blueberry pies?
287
00:11:59,989 --> 00:12:01,200
Hey.
288
00:12:01,234 --> 00:12:03,636
See to it you shine
those shoes up nice, boy.
289
00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:07,405
Yes, sir,
you best be believing I will!
290
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,961
I'll shine your shoes blacker
than my mama's booty.
291
00:12:27,688 --> 00:12:28,955
Ooga-booga!
292
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:30,956
Ooga-booga shoo!
Ooga-booga shoo!
293
00:12:30,990 --> 00:12:32,424
- Ooga-booga!
- Oh, hell no!
294
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:35,026
Ooga-booga shoo!
295
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,282
In 1964,
my father marched
296
00:12:57,316 --> 00:13:00,618
with Martin Luther King Jr.
and Harry Belafonte
297
00:13:00,653 --> 00:13:03,622
along with other renowned
civil rights leaders.
298
00:13:07,692 --> 00:13:11,194
The big boss of any company
is always, like, super carefree.
299
00:13:11,545 --> 00:13:12,979
Right,
you got a cushy job.
300
00:13:13,013 --> 00:13:14,614
- You're-- You're the boss.
- Right.
301
00:13:14,648 --> 00:13:15,715
Those are the guys
walking around,
302
00:13:15,749 --> 00:13:16,749
"Hey.
How's everybody doing?
303
00:13:16,783 --> 00:13:18,751
"I'll be in my office."
304
00:13:18,785 --> 00:13:20,519
Yeah. Yeah.
305
00:13:20,554 --> 00:13:21,887
And my boss-- I used to work
at the theater in Chicago,
306
00:13:21,922 --> 00:13:23,188
called the Second City,
307
00:13:23,223 --> 00:13:24,823
and my boss used to do
this thing with me all the time.
308
00:13:24,857 --> 00:13:27,025
Hey.
Hey, what's going on?
309
00:13:27,059 --> 00:13:28,126
- Hey.
- Hey.
310
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,961
Oh.
311
00:13:29,995 --> 00:13:31,930
What are you up to?
What's going on?
312
00:13:31,964 --> 00:13:33,598
- Oh, just fi--
- Yeah.
313
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:37,068
Just, uh-- in the--
Oh!
314
00:13:39,438 --> 00:13:40,805
You hanging in there?
Things are good?
315
00:13:40,839 --> 00:13:42,540
- I'm hanging in there, yeah.
- Things are good?
316
00:13:42,574 --> 00:13:44,876
Just been filing a sexual,
uh, harassment lawsuit.
317
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,911
Oh, okay.
318
00:13:48,301 --> 00:13:49,835
Okay, all right.
319
00:13:49,869 --> 00:13:51,237
Good morning, Tom.
320
00:13:51,271 --> 00:13:52,871
Jason.
321
00:13:52,906 --> 00:13:54,172
How you doing there, Dave?
322
00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:56,141
Crystal, Tommy.
323
00:13:56,175 --> 00:13:57,542
Good morning, Jake.
324
00:13:57,577 --> 00:13:58,877
How are you?
325
00:13:58,911 --> 00:14:00,078
Pretty good, Kenny.
326
00:14:00,113 --> 00:14:01,179
Yeah, yeah.
327
00:14:01,698 --> 00:14:03,299
Uh, you know,
so early in the morning,
328
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:05,435
I'm sorry to be
the bearer of bad news,
329
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,304
but, uh, you know how I was
330
00:14:07,338 --> 00:14:09,339
- supposed to work late tonight?
- Mm-hmm.
331
00:14:09,374 --> 00:14:11,842
Well, I got to run this errand
for Mr. Mahina,
332
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,811
and he says that you're gonna
have to cover for me,
333
00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:15,646
So there it is.
I don't nee-- I'm sorry.
334
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,881
Dropped the ax.
335
00:14:16,915 --> 00:14:18,616
Okay, so--
336
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,851
- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
337
00:14:20,885 --> 00:14:22,419
- Again.
- Yeah.
338
00:14:22,453 --> 00:14:25,254
So-- Oh, you know what?
339
00:14:25,289 --> 00:14:26,789
Just remembered.
340
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,625
Mr. Mahina also--
almost slipped my mind--
341
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,661
wants us to, uh,
change parking spaces.
342
00:14:31,695 --> 00:14:33,029
What?
343
00:14:33,063 --> 00:14:34,597
Yeah.
M-Me personally?
344
00:14:34,632 --> 00:14:36,766
I enjoy
the nine-minute walk,
345
00:14:36,801 --> 00:14:38,501
But, uh, he said
that we have to do it.
346
00:14:38,536 --> 00:14:41,037
Believe it.
I hate it as much as you do.
347
00:14:41,072 --> 00:14:42,806
- What are you gonna do?
- Nothing you can do.
348
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,007
If Mr. Mahina said it--
349
00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:45,675
Mahina.
350
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,210
This whole situation
has been Mahina-nized.
351
00:14:47,245 --> 00:14:49,479
It just seems
a little confusing to me
352
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:51,714
as to why Mr. Mahina
353
00:14:51,749 --> 00:14:54,217
would give a [bleep]
where we park.
354
00:14:54,251 --> 00:14:55,685
How's that?
355
00:14:55,719 --> 00:14:59,589
I mean, why would he care
where we park?
356
00:14:59,624 --> 00:15:01,025
I-I don't know the answer
to that question.
357
00:15:01,059 --> 00:15:02,459
I-I mean, that's--
it's just what he said.
358
00:15:02,494 --> 00:15:04,895
He-- Hey, the Mahina works
in mysterious ways.
359
00:15:04,929 --> 00:15:06,730
You know what, I'm gonna
ask him myself 'cause--
360
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:09,766
No, that's okay!
I'll do it!
361
00:15:15,907 --> 00:15:17,140
Uh, Mr. Mahina, sir,
I know you're busy,
362
00:15:17,175 --> 00:15:19,376
but can I speak to you
about the parking switch?
363
00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:20,977
What's there to talk about,
Kenny?
364
00:15:21,012 --> 00:15:24,248
I told you and Jake
to switch parking spaces!
365
00:15:24,282 --> 00:15:26,417
Don't you know who I am?
366
00:15:26,451 --> 00:15:28,753
I am Mr. Mahina,
367
00:15:28,787 --> 00:15:31,456
And I'm a real,
real person in here!
368
00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:34,526
Get the hell
out of my office!
369
00:15:36,796 --> 00:15:38,097
Wow.
Did you hear that?
370
00:15:38,131 --> 00:15:39,331
It was crazy in there.
371
00:15:39,365 --> 00:15:42,167
I mean, that was--
whew, tense.
372
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:43,469
Yeah.
373
00:15:43,503 --> 00:15:45,638
You know
what's really crazy, though?
374
00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:47,039
Hmm?
375
00:15:47,073 --> 00:15:48,274
I've been working here
for about a year,
376
00:15:48,308 --> 00:15:50,743
and I've never even
seen Mr. Mahina.
377
00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:52,611
Well, see, now that's--
that's an easy one to answer.
378
00:15:52,646 --> 00:15:54,547
That's because he comes in
before you come into work,
379
00:15:54,581 --> 00:15:55,848
and he's still working
when you leave.
380
00:15:55,883 --> 00:15:56,916
That's-- That's what makes him
Mr. Mahina.
381
00:15:56,951 --> 00:15:58,184
You know, come on.
382
00:15:58,219 --> 00:15:59,919
We're talking
about Mr. Mahina here, right?
383
00:15:59,954 --> 00:16:01,154
It makes perfect sense.
384
00:16:01,188 --> 00:16:03,222
- You know, I bet...
- Mm-hmm.
385
00:16:03,256 --> 00:16:04,590
the hardworking boss
386
00:16:04,624 --> 00:16:08,160
would love to meet
a hardworking employee,
387
00:16:08,194 --> 00:16:10,062
uou know,
who shares the same values,
388
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:13,298
so I'm gonna go ahead
and just introduce myself--
389
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,100
No, no! Uh--
390
00:16:15,134 --> 00:16:16,535
You can't go
into Mr. Mahina's room.
391
00:16:16,569 --> 00:16:17,636
Are you crazy?
392
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:18,670
No one except me
is allowed to go in there.
393
00:16:18,704 --> 00:16:20,939
Mr. Mahina is busy!
394
00:16:22,909 --> 00:16:26,178
Okay, fine.
You made your point clear, man.
395
00:16:26,212 --> 00:16:27,579
Thank you very much, Jake.
I think it's best--
396
00:16:27,614 --> 00:16:29,714
- And what--
- Wait, no, Jake! Wait, Jake!
397
00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:32,250
I can't--
398
00:16:35,065 --> 00:16:37,600
Come on, man.
399
00:16:38,256 --> 00:16:43,160
What?
Question my existence, will you?
400
00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:50,115
...bucket creature?
401
00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:51,390
Listen to me.
The people...
402
00:16:51,439 --> 00:16:53,553
I'll have the end of the year
report to you by 10.
403
00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:02,084
Freeze!
Police.
404
00:17:02,119 --> 00:17:05,188
Hands up.
405
00:17:05,222 --> 00:17:08,291
Turn around slowly.
406
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:14,764
Okay, buddy.
407
00:17:14,798 --> 00:17:17,834
Do not move a muscle.
408
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:23,307
Up! Up!
409
00:17:23,341 --> 00:17:24,308
Get your hands back up.
410
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:26,010
No, raise them.
411
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:28,245
Up, hands up, now!
412
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,183
No, no m-- Stop!
413
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,351
I said no moving.
414
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,619
Put your foot down.
415
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:37,955
That's good.
416
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,357
Now, easy does it.
No!
417
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,691
Don't pick
your other foot up!
418
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,061
Put that down.
Put your foot down!
419
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,830
Put your foot down.
There we go.
420
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,232
No, do not
pick the other one up.
421
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,000
Put that one down.
422
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,802
Put your foot down.
No, not--
423
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,104
Put them both down
at the sa-- Okay.
424
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,639
Now you're just walking.
Stop walking!
425
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,974
Now!
426
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:57,376
St-- No walking!
427
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,812
I want you to stop walking
right now.
428
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:00,846
Do not get near that car.
429
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:01,880
Wait, get away from it.
430
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,515
No, don't go
near that car.
431
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:04,649
Don't open that door!
432
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,251
Do not open that door!
433
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,451
Don't open it.
434
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:08,986
Do not open the car door!
435
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,688
Don't you open that door.
436
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:13,023
Don't!
Do not get in that car.
437
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:14,892
Freeze!
438
00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:16,093
Your butt better not
hit that seat.
439
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,562
The-- Okay.
440
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,896
Stay-- Do--
Get-- Get out of there.
441
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,733
Get out of the car right now.
No, you don't.
442
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,902
Don't you dare reach
for that glove compartment.
443
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,704
Don't reach
for that glove compartment!
444
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,673
Get away
from the glove compartment!
445
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,108
Get your hand away
from the glove compartment!
446
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,709
Don't you open it!
447
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,244
Do not grab that gun!
448
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,713
Whatever you do, dude,
you better not grab that gun.
449
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,748
You better not
grab that gun.
450
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,685
Do not pull that gun on me.
451
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,454
Put that down!
452
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:43,522
Don't you pull that gun on me.
453
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,890
No, hey.
Put that down.
454
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,793
Don't do it!
455
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:51,096
Damn it!
God damn it!
456
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,373
Damn it.
Not again.
457
00:19:10,956 --> 00:19:12,956
- Hey.
- Hey.
458
00:19:13,005 --> 00:19:14,196
Hey. How you doing?
How you doing?
459
00:19:14,245 --> 00:19:15,722
Hey. What's going on?
How you doing?
460
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:16,912
How you doing?
461
00:19:16,945 --> 00:19:18,945
You look off.
Come on. Go ahead.
462
00:19:19,328 --> 00:19:21,328
Oh. Come on. Will you?
Hey hey. Come on!
463
00:19:21,456 --> 00:19:24,918
No. Don't. Stop it.
Stop it.
464
00:19:24,970 --> 00:19:26,970
- That's fun.
- That's fun. I like it.
465
00:19:33,393 --> 00:19:34,921
You big. You big.
466
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,198
- I know you.
- How are you?
467
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:44,944
I don't think I like you.
I don't think--
468
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:46,523
- No. No.
- No!
469
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,702
Hey. What ya eating?
What ya eating?
470
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:53,976
Get the [bleep]
away from me!
471
00:19:54,015 --> 00:19:56,015
- Oh, but that's food.
- [bleep] off!
472
00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:57,445
- That's food, though.
- [bleep] off.
473
00:19:57,579 --> 00:19:58,510
Damn.
474
00:20:00,668 --> 00:20:03,322
I like that.
I like the way you look.
475
00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:05,416
You look good to me.
476
00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:10,055
- You were doing. Sorry.
- That's okay. It happens.
477
00:20:18,279 --> 00:20:19,979
- Hey, what's up there?
- What's up? There's some--
478
00:20:20,022 --> 00:20:20,944
- Is there something up there?
- Yes.
479
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:21,811
- Is it up there?
- Yes.
480
00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:23,757
- Hey. Come here. You up there.
- I want to eat you in my mouth.
481
00:20:23,872 --> 00:20:25,276
- You up there.
- I want to eat you in my mouth.
482
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,811
No, no. Get away, get away.
483
00:20:26,819 --> 00:20:29,303
I wanna be there.
I wanna be there.
484
00:20:29,389 --> 00:20:30,865
- I see you.
- Come down.
485
00:20:30,865 --> 00:20:31,981
Come here.
486
00:20:33,221 --> 00:20:34,996
And it's been a wonderful season.
487
00:20:35,176 --> 00:20:37,921
And you have been a wonderful crowd.
And thank you so much.
488
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:40,275
Hmm. We appreciate your passion.
489
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,140
We appreciate you guys
watching the show and being fans.
490
00:20:43,230 --> 00:20:45,444
Because, without you,
we do not have a show.
491
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:47,922
- You know what I wanna do?
- I know what you wanna do.
492
00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:51,618
- I want to put the...
- pussy on the chain wax.
493
00:20:51,706 --> 00:20:53,486
Yeah!
494
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:58,854
♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪
495
00:20:59,047 --> 00:21:00,689
Oh, yeah.
35136
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