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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,758 --> 00:00:07,818 Okay, this is it. Any questions? 2 00:00:12,548 --> 00:00:15,058 Everybody knows what they're doing, right? 3 00:00:15,428 --> 00:00:17,568 'cause we got one shot at this. 4 00:00:18,558 --> 00:00:21,468 There's no dumb questions, you guys. 5 00:00:23,748 --> 00:00:25,718 Did you have a question? No? 6 00:00:25,778 --> 00:00:29,288 So all you guys know exactly what your job is. 7 00:00:30,708 --> 00:00:33,038 Okay, so, on my count. 8 00:00:33,928 --> 00:00:36,768 Three, two, one. 9 00:00:37,798 --> 00:00:40,528 Go, go, go, go! 10 00:00:40,598 --> 00:00:42,024 Whoa! 11 00:00:48,738 --> 00:00:49,848 Yah! 12 00:00:50,388 --> 00:00:51,458 Unbelievable. 13 00:01:14,518 --> 00:01:17,928 Whoo! Hello! 14 00:01:18,358 --> 00:01:20,558 ♪ Hello ♪ 15 00:01:23,568 --> 00:01:25,968 Thanks for coming out. I'm Keegan-Michael Key. 16 00:01:26,098 --> 00:01:27,758 - I'm Jordan Peele. - And we are Key and Peele. 17 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:29,538 Welcome. 18 00:01:29,628 --> 00:01:31,328 Thank you so much. 19 00:01:33,826 --> 00:01:35,138 So... 20 00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:37,366 - Sometimes I get the giggles. - You get the giggles? 21 00:01:37,406 --> 00:01:38,746 I get the giggles when we're doing this. 22 00:01:38,746 --> 00:01:40,406 Brother, you were born with the giggles, man. 23 00:01:40,446 --> 00:01:41,476 I came out of the womb... 24 00:01:41,526 --> 00:01:43,026 giggling. 25 00:01:43,446 --> 00:01:45,656 - Giggling. - It's hilarious in there! 26 00:01:47,056 --> 00:01:49,166 The best laughter and the hardest to not laugh 27 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:50,396 is when you're not supposed to laugh. 28 00:01:50,426 --> 00:01:51,726 Right, exactly. That's like... 29 00:01:51,746 --> 00:01:54,136 And you guys be just laughing just in church for no reason. 30 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,556 Church is a deathtrap. 31 00:01:57,026 --> 00:01:59,156 Or the worst is when you're getting the giggles... 32 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:01,666 And the wor... is when the priest or the minister says this... 33 00:02:01,696 --> 00:02:04,236 "Because the Lord is inside of you." 34 00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:07,686 He'll go, "why are you laughing?" 35 00:02:07,716 --> 00:02:09,536 - Don't laugh. Yeah. - I'm sorry. 36 00:02:09,576 --> 00:02:10,526 It's wor... it's the worst. 37 00:02:10,556 --> 00:02:13,256 Are you... are you the type of guy who... you cry at a movie? 38 00:02:13,276 --> 00:02:15,946 - I cry buckets at movies. - At like... 39 00:02:15,996 --> 00:02:17,496 - At comedies I cry. - No, no... 40 00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:19,206 'cause I... "I could've got that job." 41 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,026 So, your wife... 42 00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:24,246 So, you just cry out in the open if you're sitting next to your wife. 43 00:02:24,336 --> 00:02:27,766 Oh yeah... If I'm... if I... if a tear is about to come down my face, 44 00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:28,856 I'm at a sad movie, 45 00:02:29,176 --> 00:02:31,536 I'll just be using gravity on this mother-[bleep] to spill it out. 46 00:02:34,456 --> 00:02:36,456 What? Sir, are you having a hard time hearing the film? 47 00:02:36,476 --> 00:02:38,436 No, I-I was looking 'cause you got a beautiful ceiling. 48 00:02:38,486 --> 00:02:40,006 - Oh, thank you very much. - Craftsmanship up there. 49 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,196 I appreciate it, yeah, yeah. 50 00:02:41,236 --> 00:02:42,576 I'm sorry, baby, hold on a second, baby, 51 00:02:42,616 --> 00:02:44,056 Hold on a second, baby, I'm just looking at the ceiling. 52 00:02:45,046 --> 00:02:47,376 Carvell thanks you for coming. 53 00:02:48,808 --> 00:02:50,716 First order of business, I'm sure you all 54 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,326 heard that Twigs got pulled out the river this morning. 55 00:02:53,336 --> 00:02:54,966 It ain't no secret 56 00:02:55,066 --> 00:02:57,606 that he and Carvell grew up in the hood together. 57 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,666 So listen up. 58 00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:02,616 'cause Carvell about to say some words. 59 00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,386 Okay, you know what? 60 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,946 Don't none of you look at them tears 61 00:03:15,046 --> 00:03:16,736 and think that [bleep] is funny. 62 00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:21,046 Because it takes a big [bleep] man to cry in front of his crew. 63 00:03:23,346 --> 00:03:24,748 Go ahead, Carvell. 64 00:03:27,966 --> 00:03:30,706 Y'all know Twigs was my boy. 65 00:03:32,536 --> 00:03:35,236 Back in the day, 66 00:03:35,626 --> 00:03:38,526 we used to pretend the sofa cushions was a fort. 67 00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:40,671 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 68 00:03:41,946 --> 00:03:44,516 And we used to pretend that the floor was molten lava. 69 00:03:44,586 --> 00:03:45,646 Oh... 70 00:03:47,746 --> 00:03:50,006 Okay, you know what, though? 71 00:03:50,686 --> 00:03:54,056 There ain't nothing funny 'bout that. 72 00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:55,996 Of course this man is crying. 73 00:03:56,056 --> 00:04:00,526 'cause he and Twigs was kids together. Okay? 74 00:04:00,596 --> 00:04:01,836 You know what I mean? 75 00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:03,636 They was best friends forever and [bleep]. 76 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,636 Go ahead, Carvell. 77 00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:10,796 We used to play Care Bears. 78 00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:13,666 Mmm-hmm. Hmm-hmm. 79 00:04:15,096 --> 00:04:18,976 Twigs and I would spend the good part of an afternoon 80 00:04:19,036 --> 00:04:22,956 trying to figure out which C-C-Care Bear we was. 81 00:04:23,106 --> 00:04:25,936 Oh, oh... 82 00:04:27,026 --> 00:04:28,326 Oh... 83 00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:30,756 I wish one of y'all mother-[bleep] 84 00:04:30,856 --> 00:04:32,436 would just start laughing, 85 00:04:32,496 --> 00:04:35,776 'cause you all know you think this [bleep] is funny. 86 00:04:35,846 --> 00:04:39,806 Carvell over here, blubbering and talking 'bout Care Bears. 87 00:04:39,916 --> 00:04:42,546 But you know what? 88 00:04:45,426 --> 00:04:47,156 But you... 89 00:04:52,546 --> 00:04:55,756 Those are manly tears! Okay? 90 00:04:56,036 --> 00:04:58,676 Those some manly-ass tears 91 00:04:58,736 --> 00:05:00,556 right there that you lookin' at! 92 00:05:01,396 --> 00:05:03,356 Go ahead, Carvell. 93 00:05:04,996 --> 00:05:06,296 And then... 94 00:05:06,366 --> 00:05:09,966 And then... and then... and then... and... and... and... 95 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:13,696 Mm, I'm sorry, man. 96 00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:15,826 That was a weird-ass sneeze I just did right there. 97 00:05:15,836 --> 00:05:16,526 God damn it. 98 00:05:16,556 --> 00:05:19,246 Can a brother get some [bleep] claritin up in here? 99 00:05:24,496 --> 00:05:26,066 Go ahead, Carvell. 100 00:05:26,816 --> 00:05:30,356 Twigs always fancied himself Share Bear. 101 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,346 Mm... 102 00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:35,676 I always... 103 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,376 I always thought... thought of myself 104 00:05:38,576 --> 00:05:40,466 thought of myself as more of a Funshine Bear. 105 00:05:40,536 --> 00:05:41,656 Mm... okay. 106 00:05:41,696 --> 00:05:45,486 Okay, all you [bleep] need to respect that right there! 107 00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:48,576 Okay? Y'all need to listen to Funshi... 108 00:05:56,666 --> 00:05:58,846 I'm so... I'm sorry, man. 109 00:05:58,886 --> 00:06:01,256 You a Funshine Bear, man. I'm sorry, that... 110 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,878 That is some funny [bleep]. 111 00:06:06,981 --> 00:06:08,706 Whoa, whoa. 112 00:06:12,326 --> 00:06:14,326 All right. Let's go sell some crack. 113 00:06:20,436 --> 00:06:22,176 Jahari, my friend. 114 00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:24,546 There are a lot of beautiful women out here today. 115 00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:25,626 Yeah. 116 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:28,046 Karim, my friend, you speak the truth. 117 00:06:28,176 --> 00:06:30,616 Well, I do what I can. 118 00:06:30,676 --> 00:06:32,246 - Ooh. - Oh... 119 00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:33,136 - Wow. - Right? 120 00:06:33,136 --> 00:06:34,736 - Ha-ha. - Blip. 121 00:06:34,736 --> 00:06:36,436 Sha-bloimps. 122 00:06:36,446 --> 00:06:38,886 You know, I caught a little glimpse of her foot nut. 123 00:06:39,927 --> 00:06:41,216 You saw ankle bone? 124 00:06:41,216 --> 00:06:42,026 Well... 125 00:06:42,076 --> 00:06:44,206 Got some ankle cleavage, you dirty devil, huh? 126 00:06:44,256 --> 00:06:45,826 - You saw? - God, I saw. 127 00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:52,366 Very good, very good... 128 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,576 Mm. 129 00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:01,926 - Hmm-hmm. - Oh... 130 00:07:01,996 --> 00:07:03,696 Dude, did you see the bridge on that nose? 131 00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:05,986 I mean, if it is any indication... 132 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,696 - Wow. - Hhh-holy garbanzo beans. 133 00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:11,496 I'll tell you what. That is a bridge I'd like to cross. 134 00:07:14,526 --> 00:07:16,826 This is my boy. This is my boy. 135 00:07:17,851 --> 00:07:19,266 This is my boy. 136 00:07:20,336 --> 00:07:21,706 Oh. 137 00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:27,506 Hmm. 138 00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:31,756 - Not a lot to go on there. - Not really. Not really. 139 00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:33,176 - Good height. - Good height. 140 00:07:33,216 --> 00:07:34,436 - Good height. - Crazy tall. 141 00:07:35,146 --> 00:07:37,076 Yeah, like 5'9". 142 00:07:37,276 --> 00:07:38,986 Heh... 143 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:42,416 Come on. Come on. Come on. 144 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,606 Come on. She's tall. She's tall. She's tall. 145 00:07:45,636 --> 00:07:47,706 That's right. She's tall. There's nothing to be done. 146 00:07:47,746 --> 00:07:49,146 Getting wet. Let me see... 147 00:07:49,246 --> 00:07:51,876 Let me see it from behind. Let me see it from behind. 148 00:07:52,046 --> 00:07:53,846 That's how you hit it. That's how you hit it. 149 00:07:53,846 --> 00:07:55,826 Jahari, can I tell you something in confidence right now? 150 00:07:55,926 --> 00:07:57,346 Okay. 151 00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:58,236 I'm a virgin. 152 00:08:03,556 --> 00:08:06,026 I went down to Georgia a couple years ago, 153 00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:07,916 and I was just... oh... 154 00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:09,226 It's not funny, it's just... 155 00:08:09,266 --> 00:08:11,936 - That's... - just... just a fact. 156 00:08:11,986 --> 00:08:14,286 It's just what happened. 157 00:08:14,346 --> 00:08:15,646 Trying to get to the funny part. 158 00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:19,206 White people come up to you. "Hey. 159 00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:23,906 "So, you like Darius, huh? You like Darius?" 160 00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,176 "What the [bleep]? Darius? What are you talking to me..." 161 00:08:26,196 --> 00:08:28,326 - "You like Darius?" - Darius Rucker? 162 00:08:28,376 --> 00:08:29,746 "Hootie, man. Hootie. 163 00:08:29,756 --> 00:08:30,796 Hootie, man. Don't you love Hootie? 164 00:08:30,816 --> 00:08:31,976 He's huge down there. 165 00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:33,806 He's enormous. As a country star. 166 00:08:33,826 --> 00:08:34,996 Darius Rucker. Huge down there. 167 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,826 There's only like three ever. Charley Pride, 168 00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:38,426 Darius Rucker... 169 00:08:39,616 --> 00:08:40,786 There's only two. 170 00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:41,956 There's two of 'em. 171 00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:47,056 Ladies and gentlemen, Darius Rucker. 172 00:09:00,966 --> 00:09:03,266 ♪ Don't go out with my friends no more ♪ 173 00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:05,276 ♪ Don't wanna hold your hand no more ♪ 174 00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,786 Hootie, Hootie... 175 00:09:07,806 --> 00:09:09,146 Hootie, Hootie, Hootie... 176 00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:10,356 ♪ And I don't wanna be with you ♪ 177 00:09:10,426 --> 00:09:13,126 Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, Hootie... 178 00:09:13,496 --> 00:09:15,326 - No, no. - Hootie, Hootie... 179 00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,946 No, no, no, no. 180 00:09:17,466 --> 00:09:19,976 I'm not in Hootie and the Blowfish anymore, y'all. 181 00:09:20,386 --> 00:09:21,556 Doing my own thing. 182 00:09:21,646 --> 00:09:23,566 What do you mean "in Hootie"? 183 00:09:23,636 --> 00:09:25,436 Because you are Hootie, man! 184 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,486 - Come on, everybody! - Hootie, Hootie... 185 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,166 - Hootie, Hootie, Hootie... - No, no... 186 00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:33,606 No, no, no, all right, now... now... now stop it, stop it. 187 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:37,976 I'm not Hootie. I'm Darius Rucker. All right? 188 00:09:38,406 --> 00:09:39,786 I used to be the front man 189 00:09:39,876 --> 00:09:42,206 for a band called Hootie & the Blowfish. 190 00:09:42,576 --> 00:09:44,256 All right, but I was never Hootie. 191 00:09:44,606 --> 00:09:46,226 There was never a Hootie. 192 00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:47,816 Just... if I may... if I may ask, 193 00:09:47,876 --> 00:09:49,726 where are the Blowfish at, right, guys? 194 00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:52,236 Come on, everybody! Blowfish! 195 00:09:52,306 --> 00:09:54,036 Blowfish, Blowfish, Blowfish... 196 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,806 No, no, no! The... 197 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:59,106 There are no people known as "the Blowfish," y'all. 198 00:09:59,656 --> 00:10:00,536 Okay? 199 00:10:00,676 --> 00:10:03,526 The whole band was just called Hootie & the Blowfish. That's it. 200 00:10:03,616 --> 00:10:05,306 It was a nonsense name. 201 00:10:05,436 --> 00:10:08,176 Like Hoobastank. Or Toad the Wet Sprocket. 202 00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:09,496 Oh. 203 00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:19,316 ♪ Don't go out with my friends no more ♪ 204 00:10:19,326 --> 00:10:22,116 ♪ Don't wanna hold your hand no more ♪ 205 00:10:22,986 --> 00:10:24,016 Oh! Oh! 206 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,666 What? What is it, man? 207 00:10:25,706 --> 00:10:27,606 I see. I get it now. I understand. 208 00:10:27,716 --> 00:10:29,486 Hey, we gotta pick, y'all! 209 00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,226 - We gotta choose between... - No, no... 210 00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:33,266 Hootie or the Blowfish! 211 00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:36,296 So, who wants to see the Blowfish? 212 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,136 There's no Blowfish. 213 00:10:42,996 --> 00:10:44,686 And who wants to see Hootie? 214 00:10:49,926 --> 00:10:51,616 Hey. 215 00:10:52,346 --> 00:10:54,446 Hey, that... that hurts my feelings, y'all. 216 00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:55,956 Yeah, but you said you weren't Hootie. 217 00:10:56,026 --> 00:10:57,796 No, I'm not, sir. 218 00:10:57,816 --> 00:11:00,366 But in the question you just asked the audience, 219 00:11:00,386 --> 00:11:01,616 I-I was clearly Hootie. 220 00:11:01,796 --> 00:11:03,736 - So you are Hootie! - I'm not, though. 221 00:11:03,756 --> 00:11:05,626 He is Hootie! Yeah! 222 00:11:05,626 --> 00:11:06,526 No... 223 00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:08,976 Hootie, Hootie... 224 00:11:09,096 --> 00:11:12,866 Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, 225 00:11:12,886 --> 00:11:14,706 Hootie, Hootie, 226 00:11:14,796 --> 00:11:18,666 Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, 227 00:11:18,686 --> 00:11:22,521 Hootie, Hootie, Hootie... 228 00:11:23,176 --> 00:11:26,006 Hootie, Hootie, Hootie... 229 00:11:26,066 --> 00:11:28,616 I'm Hootie! 230 00:11:31,036 --> 00:11:33,946 I'm Hootie! Aah! 231 00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:01,326 I... 232 00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:04,136 am your substitute... 233 00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:09,166 Mr. Nostrand. 234 00:12:11,006 --> 00:12:13,636 But that might as well say, "No nonsense," 235 00:12:14,136 --> 00:12:15,456 because I... 236 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,376 do not... play. 237 00:12:19,796 --> 00:12:22,416 Now, today will not be a day off. 238 00:12:23,246 --> 00:12:26,336 In fact, today, you will work harder than... 239 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,236 Somebody call a Code Brown up in here. 240 00:12:45,356 --> 00:12:47,186 See you later, Mr. Pootstrand! 241 00:12:53,719 --> 00:12:55,099 Jordan and I love action movies. 242 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:56,929 We love, you know, movies where people are trying to... 243 00:12:56,939 --> 00:12:58,279 you know, smuggle contra... 244 00:12:58,279 --> 00:12:59,959 Like, Breaking Bad's like our favorite show. 245 00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:01,975 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 246 00:13:02,899 --> 00:13:04,829 Also like The Wire and New Jack City. 247 00:13:04,874 --> 00:13:06,244 Yeah, like that kind of stuff. 248 00:13:06,264 --> 00:13:07,761 - And anything that like... - It intrigues us, yeah. 249 00:13:07,814 --> 00:13:10,270 Yeah, portrays African-Americans as criminals. 250 00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:11,118 In the worst possible light. 251 00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:12,123 We just... 252 00:13:12,164 --> 00:13:15,034 - We love that. We love that. - So, shame on us. 253 00:13:15,129 --> 00:13:17,129 But something that always cracks me up. 254 00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:20,074 I love when you see cops and DEA agents when they bust... 255 00:13:20,094 --> 00:13:21,784 You know, they bust a whole bunch of cocaine. 256 00:13:21,849 --> 00:13:22,918 - Oh, yeah. - And I lo... 257 00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,875 This is my favorite thing. It's like, "Give it here." 258 00:13:25,644 --> 00:13:26,605 Like, come on. 259 00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:28,284 "That's 100% pure." 260 00:13:29,579 --> 00:13:31,909 I want to become a cop just so I can go to that class. 261 00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:33,484 I just want to go to that class 262 00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:35,264 where the cop's just supposed to go... 263 00:13:35,304 --> 00:13:36,704 - "Get in there..." - Yeah. 264 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,531 "I don't know if it's pure. Hold on." 265 00:13:38,589 --> 00:13:40,970 "Let me just crack that up in there. 266 00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:42,419 "Make sure that... 267 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,017 "I'm not sure yet if it's pure. Hold on a second. 268 00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:48,342 'This could be only 80% pure. Aah..." 269 00:14:11,537 --> 00:14:13,883 Eight kilos. 100%. 270 00:14:13,995 --> 00:14:16,935 Pure grade Afghani heroin. 271 00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:34,720 $100,000 U.S. dollars. 272 00:14:37,954 --> 00:14:39,324 Hold up. 273 00:14:39,394 --> 00:14:41,372 We should count it first. 274 00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:42,410 Mm. Mm-hmm. 275 00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:46,967 Be my guest. 276 00:15:00,935 --> 00:15:03,357 You know, we gonna do a straight count on this right now. 277 00:15:03,411 --> 00:15:04,899 - Count it... count it? - Yeah. Just... 278 00:15:04,899 --> 00:15:06,003 - Good idea. - Mm-hmm. 279 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,003 Should probably do it fast 280 00:15:07,012 --> 00:15:08,909 so we don't make our friends here wait. 281 00:15:08,935 --> 00:15:10,340 Mm-hmm. Okay. 282 00:15:10,815 --> 00:15:14,697 20, 40, 60, 80, 283 00:15:15,307 --> 00:15:19,156 100, 20, 40, 60, 284 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,956 80, 200... 285 00:15:21,113 --> 00:15:22,953 Hey, you know what? I'm fast. Let me just do it. 286 00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:24,358 - You want... okay. - I'll take care of that. 287 00:15:24,418 --> 00:15:25,862 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... 288 00:15:25,939 --> 00:15:27,869 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... 289 00:15:27,907 --> 00:15:29,477 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... 290 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,907 Hey, why... why are you doin' piles of nine? 291 00:15:30,977 --> 00:15:32,477 - It's faster than 10s. - Oh, really? 292 00:15:32,547 --> 00:15:35,877 I do my nines 10 times, and then I do an extra pile of 10. 293 00:15:35,882 --> 00:15:37,912 Fast. Okay. Yeah, yeah. 294 00:15:37,982 --> 00:15:39,549 You know, we... we should probably both be counting. 295 00:15:39,581 --> 00:15:41,041 Oh, well, let's get to it. 296 00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:42,816 That's dou... double trouble. All right. 297 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:45,014 - And, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... - 20, 40, 60... 298 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:47,132 - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... - 80, 100, 20, 40, 299 00:15:47,132 --> 00:15:49,332 1, 2, 3, 4... Wait. 300 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,489 Okay, I'm sorry, can you... could you ple... 301 00:15:50,489 --> 00:15:52,043 Could you do something like over there? 302 00:15:52,043 --> 00:15:53,652 - Yup. I'm gonna take. - Please, it's a little distracting. 303 00:15:53,759 --> 00:15:54,799 - Oh, you know what? - What's that? 304 00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:56,096 I got it. We could time me. 305 00:15:56,098 --> 00:15:56,750 Okay. 306 00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:59,089 Okay, we time me counting out 1,000. 307 00:15:59,089 --> 00:16:00,314 We take that time, and then 308 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:04,260 we just count money for that time times 100. 309 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,299 No! I g... I got it. This is it right here. 310 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:12,233 I'm gonna do a web search for a picture of $100,000. 311 00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:13,167 - Okay? - Okay. 312 00:16:13,199 --> 00:16:15,263 Then, you know, we'll know what it's supposed to look like 313 00:16:15,263 --> 00:16:16,897 and then we can arrange our money 314 00:16:16,964 --> 00:16:18,264 to look exactly like it. 315 00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:20,634 And see... here. Hey. Here we go. Right here, look. 316 00:16:21,207 --> 00:16:22,473 I mean, damn, that looks... 317 00:16:22,494 --> 00:16:24,224 That looks just like... a lot like our money. 318 00:16:24,269 --> 00:16:26,274 I think we got $100,000 here, folks. 319 00:16:26,387 --> 00:16:28,105 - I think we made it. - No, that is our money. 320 00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:30,316 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, do... Earlier... 321 00:16:30,336 --> 00:16:30,893 Yeah. 322 00:16:30,964 --> 00:16:33,242 When we were counting, I took a picture of our money 323 00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:34,903 so I could upload it on Yahoo! Answers. 324 00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:36,094 - Oh, damn. - That's right. 325 00:16:36,109 --> 00:16:37,534 'cause I just wanted to see if anyone could verify 326 00:16:37,558 --> 00:16:39,028 - what $100,000 looked like. - [bleep]! 327 00:16:39,073 --> 00:16:40,243 - Oh, you got it. - What was I thinking? 328 00:16:40,273 --> 00:16:41,473 - You got it. - I got it, man. 329 00:16:41,473 --> 00:16:42,543 - Go, go, go, go. - I got it, I got it. 330 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,289 What the hell are you doing, man? 331 00:16:44,289 --> 00:16:46,159 I th... you know, I was gonna try to Rain Man it. 332 00:16:46,388 --> 00:16:47,958 - Oh, that's a plan right there. - That's right. 333 00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,780 - Okay, yeah, here we go. - We can do that. 334 00:16:49,937 --> 00:16:51,228 Okay. 335 00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,513 Yup, yup. I got that. I got that. 336 00:16:59,548 --> 00:17:01,418 20, 40, 60... 337 00:17:04,014 --> 00:17:06,002 99,980. 338 00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:37,934 You guys ever hear... You guys know the old standard, 339 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,387 Uh, "It's Co..." is it called, "It's Cold Outside?" 340 00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,620 - "Baby, It's Cold Outside." - "Baby, It's Cold Outside." 341 00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:43,142 You know this old standard? Right, yeah. 342 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,751 '30s and '40s. 343 00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:45,996 And so many people have covered it. 344 00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,686 It was written in like 1939 or something like that. 345 00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:51,428 It's funny, when you listen to the lyrics of the song, uh... 346 00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:52,919 It's kinda rapey. 347 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:54,195 - It's a little rapey. - It's a little rapey. 348 00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,493 It's like... 349 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,600 It's true. 350 00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,501 She said she wanted to leave... 351 00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:02,270 You told her it was cold outside. 352 00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:05,615 It's winter. She's very aware of the fact that it's cold outside. 353 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,610 She's not stup... you know what I'm saying? 354 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,073 - Yeah. - "No" means no. Right? 355 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,084 - Oh, yeah. - You know? 356 00:18:10,140 --> 00:18:12,140 And this was... I got... I got creeped out... 357 00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,991 'cause I dr... I... In this scene you're about to watch, 358 00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:15,055 I dressed up like a woman. 359 00:18:15,288 --> 00:18:17,558 Lot of brothers like, "Man, he dress up like a woman a lot." 360 00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:18,998 I'm just... 361 00:18:19,779 --> 00:18:22,149 just in touch with my feminine side. 362 00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:25,168 - Whoo! Thank you, girls. - Yes. 363 00:18:25,221 --> 00:18:27,251 But no, this one was confusing for me because I was... 364 00:18:27,313 --> 00:18:29,430 I... fir... I'm hot. I'm hot. 365 00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:30,384 And so it's creepy. 366 00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,590 You don't want to look in the mirror 367 00:18:31,621 --> 00:18:33,639 and be attracted to yourself. Be like the... 368 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,106 dude from Silence of the Lambs. "I'd [bleep] me." 369 00:18:37,123 --> 00:18:38,593 You don't want that. 370 00:18:38,663 --> 00:18:39,733 Ah! 371 00:18:50,285 --> 00:18:52,378 ♪ Would you look at the time? ♪ 372 00:18:52,378 --> 00:18:54,536 ♪ You should just stay here tonight ♪ 373 00:18:54,536 --> 00:18:56,359 ♪ I've had too much wine ♪ 374 00:18:56,373 --> 00:18:58,133 ♪ You will leave at first light ♪ 375 00:18:58,506 --> 00:19:00,446 ♪ It isn't that far ♪ 376 00:19:00,446 --> 00:19:01,755 ♪ Baby, just stay where you are ♪ 377 00:19:01,828 --> 00:19:03,338 ♪ Back to my place ♪ 378 00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:06,167 ♪ You can't escape from my embrace ♪ 379 00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:09,092 ♪ I really had a very nice time ♪ 380 00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,220 ♪ Let me just refill that wine ♪ 381 00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:13,420 ♪ But I really need to just say good-bye ♪ 382 00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:15,190 ♪ I would love to see you try ♪ 383 00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:16,682 ♪ Please unlock this door ♪ 384 00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:18,726 ♪ it's locked from the outside ♪ 385 00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:22,024 - ♪ Babe, you're mine tonight ♪ - ♪ I cannot stay tonight ♪ 386 00:19:22,736 --> 00:19:24,396 ♪ Look, I really have to go ♪ 387 00:19:24,436 --> 00:19:26,406 ♪ No, you really have to stay ♪ 388 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,216 ♪ Hey, "no" means no ♪ 389 00:19:28,245 --> 00:19:30,515 ♪ That is what they all say ♪ 390 00:19:30,515 --> 00:19:32,173 ♪ You're hurting my arm ♪ 391 00:19:32,173 --> 00:19:33,903 ♪ I won't cause you any harm ♪ 392 00:19:33,943 --> 00:19:35,503 ♪ Let go of me ♪ 393 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,182 ♪ We can make this hard or just easy ♪ 394 00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:41,447 ♪ A woman always comes prepared ♪ 395 00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:42,756 ♪ Ooh, I'm really scared ♪ 396 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,695 ♪ I said this is not what I want ♪ 397 00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:46,435 ♪ Why you have to be such a... ♪ 398 00:19:46,474 --> 00:19:48,434 ♪ I know self-defense ♪ 399 00:19:48,474 --> 00:19:50,414 ♪ I dare you to try it ♪ 400 00:19:50,535 --> 00:19:52,635 ♪ I don't want to fight ♪ 401 00:19:52,705 --> 00:19:56,117 ♪ Bitch, you are mine tonight ♪ 402 00:20:10,846 --> 00:20:12,998 ♪ Please, just please go away ♪ 403 00:20:13,007 --> 00:20:15,307 ♪ I thought that you wanted me to stay ♪ 404 00:20:15,307 --> 00:20:17,177 ♪ Well... well, I just changed my mind ♪ 405 00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:19,547 ♪ Think I'll just stay and unwind ♪ 406 00:20:19,556 --> 00:20:21,826 ♪ How did this all switch? ♪ 407 00:20:21,835 --> 00:20:24,605 ♪ Now you are... ♪ 408 00:20:24,635 --> 00:20:26,505 ♪ my... ♪ 409 00:20:26,818 --> 00:20:27,948 ♪ bitch ♪ 410 00:20:28,179 --> 00:20:30,179 ♪ Please just be kind tonight! ♪ 411 00:20:30,179 --> 00:20:32,695 ♪ Now you're mine... ♪ 412 00:20:32,706 --> 00:20:34,736 ♪ to... ♪ 413 00:20:34,806 --> 00:20:37,803 ♪ night ♪ 414 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,619 - Good night! - Good night! 415 00:20:58,399 --> 00:21:01,155 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 416 00:21:02,023 --> 00:21:03,358 Oh, yeah! 30096

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